Chapter Text
BARTY
“Hey Crouch, steal any candy from any babies today?” Evan laughed, throwing himself on to the bed next to Barty.
“Shove off, Ev,” Barty muttered, reaching over to grab one of his pillows and swat at Evan.
He missed, unfortunately.
“I like the new look,” Evan said. He sat up, adopting a more genuine expression, and peered at Barty’s face. He was wearing eyeliner for the first time today, something he had wanted to do for a long time but hadn’t quite worked up the courage to until now.
Barty gently but firmly shoved him away, his hand lingering for a second on Evan’s cheek.
“Shut up, Rosier,” he sighed.
“No, really, I like it. It makes your eyes so…” Evan trailed off, perhaps not quite sure what to say, or perhaps embarrassed about telling his best mate that his eyeliner made his eyes stand out. He cleared his throat and looked away.
Barty knew the dark makeup made his eyes pop. They were just plain, boring brown, so it’s not like there was much there to draw attention to, but contrast was contrast. Dark rimmed eyes were more noticeable. It was simply science, or whatever.
Evan swallowed, and Barty tracked the movement with his eyes, unable not to. His crush on Evan was getting more and more impossible to ignore as the weeks ticked steadily by. It was only two weeks until Yule now and somehow every day closer they got to the holidays, Barty just could not think of anything but Evan. Visions of the blonde boy would come to him, unbidden, while he was doing an essay or trying to calculate ingredients for a potion. It was very unhelpful and quite distracting.
He had messed up more than his fair share of work recently, all because he couldn’t stop picturing Evan’s very pretty eyes looking up at him, or worse, Evan on his knees, his hands on Barty’s waist. He forced his attention back to the ridiculous boy in front of him, who was decidedly not on his knees and certainly never would be. Not for Barty.
Barty shook his head. “Whatever, Rosier.”
“Believe it or not, but it looks good on you,” Evan insisted, before clambering off of Barty’s bed.
He pulled off his jumper, the motion pulling up his shirt underneath as well, giving Barty a torturous glimpse of Evan’s impossibly toned stomach. He didn’t even play Quidditch, there was no reason for him to be so fit. He had so many muscles…
Barty pulled his pillow over his face. Maybe he could just lie here forever, safe under this pillow, contenting himself with the Evan in his head. He groaned. He must be some sick freak, fantasising about his best mate while in the same room as him. Wasn’t the first time, wouldn’t be the last, he knew.
“C’mon, I wanna go to dinner,” Evan said, his hand grazing Barty’s as he went to pull the pillow away.
Barty let him take it, his brain short circuiting at the slight touch. He forced himself up and brushed a hand through his messy hair. At least food would provide a welcome distraction.
They went down to dinner.
“Nice of you to join us,” Pandora said, raising an eyebrow as they sat down across from her and Regulus.
“We were starting to think you wouldn’t show,” Regulus added. “What’d you think of the-“ he asked Evan, gesturing to his eyes.
“I like it,” Evan replied. “Very sick.”
Pandora nodded. “Looks great Barty.”
Barty offered them a smile before shoving a forkful of food into his mouth.
“Truly, it’s very avant-garde,” Regulus continued.
Pandora giggled.
“Only you would say a word like “avant-garde,” Evan chuckled, twirling his fork around through his food. “It’s cool, though, yeah,” he said, quieter this time, smiling at Barty like there was some shared secret between them.
Barty swallowed, the image securely filing itself away inside of his memories. He had so many moments like that memorised, just the two of them, that he held onto with white knuckles. At least he’d have those forever, for better or worse.
“Shut up, Rosier,” Regulus replied half-heartedly, shaking his head.
The rest of dinner passed in jokes and complaints about schoolwork.
Barty had a potions essay due in two days, and he was not looking forward to writing. He had put it off for two days already, and he had half a mind to put it off another, but he knew he’d regret that a lot. He’d done that a few too many times to pretend he wouldn't.
“Wanna go to the library with me?” Regulus asked, turning to Barty when they had returned to the common room.
Evan and Pandora had disappeared, probably off to have a secret twin meeting or something.
“Uh, sure, yeah. Let me get my stuff,” Barty said. He ran into his and Evan’s dorm to grab his bag. It was empty; Evan must’ve been with Pandora, and their other roommates were never around. Malfoy, Rabastan, and Traves all ran in very different groups than him and Evan and were therefore only in their room to sleep, which suited Barty just fine.
“Alright, let’s go, then. I have a mind to go to bed early tonight,” he said to Regulus as he returned to the common room.
“Sure,” Reg replied. “I just want to finish my potions essay.”
“Finish? I haven’t even started,” Barty groaned.
Regulus just laughed. “I told you to start it yesterday.”
“I knowww, but I couldn’t be arsed, really. It’s just bullshit. I’m not going to do anything with potions after school.”
Regulus shrugged. “Get it over with then.”
“Easier said than done,” Barty replied, walking towards the wall with the entrance passage. It opened as he approached, and Regulus followed him out.
“So what are you gonna do after we finish, then?”
“Live in a box by the river,” Barty replied dryly, turning in the direction of the library.
“Oh, shove off.”
“I don’t have any bloody idea, honestly. Dad wants to get me a job in the Ministry, probably as a lowly clerk, shuffling papers around for him or something, but I could not be paid enough to be within 500 metres of the Ministry. Maybe I’ll become a dragon breeder. Or something exotic and cool like that.”
Regulus scoffed. “No one should trust you around dragons, Barty. You’d set everything on fire.”
“Hey, I could raise a dragon.”
“Not anywhere near me, you won’t. I know that much.”
Barty sighed. “Not all of us can be like you, Mr. Future World-Renowned Potions Master. Some of us don't have a magical calling.”
“You’ll figure it out,” Regulus said, clapping a hand on his shoulder before pushing the heavy doors of the library open, the slight scraping sound echoing through the quiet space.
There were a few students scattered across the main area, bent over textbooks and parchments. Barty slung his bag down on the closest table and Regulus pulled out the chair across from him.
“Alright, I only have two inches left. Shouldn’t take too long,” he said, pulling out his quill and parchment.
Barty nodded. “If I get five inches down, then I’ll have ten to do tomorrow… I guess I’d better just try to write as much as possible then.”
“Just let me know when you want to leave,” Regulus said. “I have other stuff I can start working on.”
“Alright.”
They worked in relative silence for a while, the only interruptions coming from Barty when he got stuck and had to ask Regulus for help. There were certain advantages to having Mr. Future World-Renowned Potions Master as a best mate.
At around ten o’clock, Barty sighed and dropped his head onto his hands. It had been a little over three hours, and he had well and truly reached his limit.
Regulus looked up from his History of Magic textbook. “Finished for now?”
Barty let a grunt escape from his mouth. His brain was too mushy for real words.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Reg replied, sticking a scrap of parchment into his book and shoving it into his bag.
Barty yawned and looked down at his essay. He had done about eight inches, which was honestly more than he expected. That left seven for tomorrow. Not horrible.
He folded the parchment and put it away.
“”M so tired,” he muttered, standing.
“Yeah,” Regulus agreed.
They walked in comfortable silence back to the common room.
They split at the top of the boy’s dormitory stairs. Regulus lifted his hand in a goodbye before heading the opposite direction to his room.
Everyone in Barty’s room seemed to be asleep already, if the closed curtains around every bed but his own were any indication.
He quickly changed, brushed his teeth, washed his face, and got into bed, happily sinking into the pile of blankets and sheets he loved so much. There was truly nothing better than his bed at Hogwarts. He missed it when he was at home in his too-cold house where his room felt sort of like a dungeon. He didn’t even really care that he had to share his room with four others at Hogwarts, because his bed was so fantastic. And there was also how Evan was less than two metres from him. Even before his crush on the blonde boy had manifested, he felt safer having a friend so close to him.
He had grown up extremely lonely, his father all but completely ignoring him and his mother aloof and emotionally reserved. He also had no siblings, unlike his mates. He used to be so jealous of Evan and Pandora especially, because to have a twin meant to have a built-in best mate, someone who would always be there to do things with and talk to. His jealousy had faded after first year, though, when Regulus had come to Hogwarts and the two of them quickly became inseparable. They may not be related by blood, but Barty would be damned if Regulus was not his brother.
He had slowly let go of most of the pain and loneliness that he had harboured in his first few years of Hogwarts, as Evan and Pandora and Regulus loved him so outwardly and completely. He also had slowly become less and less touch-averse over the years, because Evan and Pandora were so bloody touchy. That was definitely how his crush on Evan had come about in the first place.
Evan specifically, somehow, harboured intrinsic knowledge of when and how Barty wanted to be touched. Like when Barty would get so stressed while working on something that he’d kind of forget to breathe, and Evan would touch his shoulder and just that little touch would bring Barty back to reality and remind him to take a deep breath. Or on those days when Barty would just be sad and low-energy, which happened sometimes, and Evan would hold his hand or rub his back when they were sitting in the common room.
Pandora was touchy too, especially when she laughed. She’d laugh and she’d reach out to grab at whoever was closest to her, and Barty liked that too. But not that way that he liked when Evan’s skin brushed his, and those shivers would go down his spine.
Sometimes he thought that Evan must know, must notice the subtle shiver that went through Barty when he touched him. But he had never mentioned it.
He turned over in bed and sighed. Time to attempt to sleep.
He actually slept fairly well. That is, before the cold crept in.
It always started with the cold.
Everything was black, and it was cold. Then his eyes would open, despite how hard he tried to keep them shut.
His childhood bedroom came into focus around him, his eyes adjusting to the low light. He’d try to pull his blankets up higher, to keep away the cold and hide from everything, but suddenly he wouldn’t have any at all.
Then the door would be flung open.
“No!” he cried, knowing what comes next. His father. But not even his father, not truly. A shapeshifting thing with the voice of his father, with great black eyes.
He pulled his pillow out to guard him.
His father’s eyes flashed red and he pulled out his wand.
“Don’t, please!”
“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” came a soft voice at the edge of his consciousness.
His room at home faded as the green of his bed curtains came into focus. He blinked, hard, his heartbeat still racing. He felt it in his ears.
“Barty.”
Evan’s face appeared over him, his eyebrows knitted together in concern. He touched Barty’s cheek impossibly gently, his fingers curling around his jaw.
“Barty, look at me,” he whispered, his thumb shifting ever so slightly across Barty’s skin, anchoring him.
“Ev,” he managed, his voice breaking.
“Hey,” Evan whispered. “I’m right here.”
He wiped a tear away from Barty’s cheek. “It’s alright,” he repeated.
“I- I- he-” Barty began, unable to speak coherently. He felt another tear roll down his face.
Evan diligently wiped that one away as well. Then he pitched forward, knocking Barty back into the pillows. He wrapped his arms around Barty’s waist and buried his face in his shoulder. Barty took a deep breath in, concentrating on how he was fine, how he was in his bed at Hogwarts, and Evan was here. Evan was here and his father wasn’t, and wouldn’t be.
“Was I…?” he murmured after a minute, afraid to know if he had woken up everyone else.
Evan pulled back and shook his head. “No, I cast a silencing charm after the first time you spoke. Don’t worry, the others aren’t awake.”
“Thanks,” Barty breathed.
“Don’t mention it.”
Evan reached out to fix Barty’s hair, smoothing it under his hand. “Do you want me to…,” he gestured towards the curtains where his bed lay.
“No, stay,” Barty whispered, the words slipping out of his mouth in a rush. “I mean, that is, if you-”
“Okay,” Evan replied, smiling slightly. He yawned and shifted closer before pausing as if calculating the best way to approach this situation.
Barty held up the edge of the blanket in response to his silent question, and Evan slid in next to him.
“Night,” he whispered, his breath ruffling Barty’s hair just slightly. He leaned forward just slightly, so his forehead touched Barty’s shoulder, and then his eyes shut. He yawned again.
“Night,” Barty echoed. He let his eyes drift shut as well, contented by the feeling of Evan’s body next to his, grounded by the slight press of Evan’s leg to his under the duvet.