Chapter Text
"I really wanna love somebody
I really wanna dance the night away
I know we're only half way there
But you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way
I really wanna touch somebody
I'll think about you every single day."
Bill Cipher slept underneath the Earth with a wolf's patience.
It's been exactly six years since those idiots trapped him here, and he had literally all the time in world. For years, all he ever thought of was destroying Gravity Falls once and for all as vengeance, but he came up with nothing. The little magic bubble Pine Tree and his family trapped him in was too powerful, and he hated to admit it, even to himself. So, after giving up on the 'destroy Gravity Falls and take over the world' plan, he began thinking of ways to kill Dipper Pines with as much gusto as he could muster. Yes, yes, he knew it was Stanley Pines who tricked the great and powerful Bill Cipher here, but Pine Tree...he was something interesting. Interesting enough that Bill would want to see his insides being torn out while the boy screamed and writhed in pain. So how, how should he do this?
With a knife? Nah, too cheesy. Chainsaw? Too horror film. Manipulate him into killing Mabel and force his thoughts to suicide? Not bad. But meh.
But finding ways to kill a twelve year old -who, Bill thought with a sigh, would probably be eighteen by now- would get boring after a few years. So far, he already thought of 12, 056 ways of murdering the kid. None of those ways actually seemed fun to do. He needed something sadistic, fun, completely un-boring, and new.
So what? What has he not done before? What could he do to push his limits? He was Bill Cipher, an overlord in waiting, and he shall not be brought down by a measly mortal! What did that bag of flesh and bones even do that made him so motivated to overthrow a demon? Like c'mon, a human can't seriously be this in love with his own garbage planet, not even Bill's people were that dedicated. Unless...unless...
Bill suddenly got a brilliant idea. Well, not brilliant in Bill Cipher terms, but good enough.
What if he learned to love?
As soon as he thought about it, he began to laugh madly in the empty black space.
Bill Cipher, learning how to love? As if. How would he even get out of here and find a person to love anyway?
Bill shook those thoughts away and swam around the empty space with a lion's ease. He was bored out of mind, and he admitted to himself that the thought of loving a person was actually the most productive thought he ever had in his six years of roaming an empty bubble. Heck, he didn't know how it felt, save for lust of course.
What would the universe do anyway, hear his thoughts and let him carry it on to teach him a lesson?
Well, ironically, yeah.
Bill's bubble started to shake, and Bill stood up (despite floating mid-air) in surprise. "Hey! Calm down out there, I'm swimming here!" Bill shouted, chuckling to himself afterwards. One of the residents of Gravity Falls was probably trying to get him out to ask for a favor, as Gideon did all those years ago. Bill mentally shook his head. Kids, thinking they can release a trillion year old demon and get their way. This is why he never gained his own human form and only possessed others. He knew that being human was the most dumbest thing a demon could ever do, and that was saying a lot.
Suddenly, the bubble rumbled, and Bill saw a blue light coming from below. Well, not exactly below, because the light was coming out of his chest. Almost like a beacon.
Little specks of what seemed like dirt rained down on him, stinging his one eye and causing him temporary blindness and a yelp to come out, despite that being completely impossible. When he opened his eye, the crack of light seemed to become bigger, slowly enlarging the more Bill stared. A buzzing noise filled his ears, like a drone humming and coming to life after five rusty years of no activation.
"Wha-? Hey!" Bill cried, looking down in surprise. This definitely isn't a person trying to summon him.
He heard a cracking sound much like ropes coming undone by force, and Bill looked up from his chest. A crack was made split in between his dark bubble, a blue and sunny yellow glare spilling inside. Bill squinted, holding onto his top hat as a strong breeze swept past him, the scent in the air similar to a sterile hospital.
"Seriously? Aw, I was just getting to like this place!" Bill complained. He threw his hands up in the air in curt frustration.
Then, his bubble shattered.
Bill woke up a second later. Or, two hours later. Or five. He didn't know, and he certainly didn't care. Time was just a human's way of keeping track of their tiny existences and Bill certainly didn't need that. Somehow, he felt achy all over, the middle of his forehead throbbing like a sore thumb and his body like hot lava. It was like his whole being was just shoved out- which, thinking about it now, kind of made sense.
Groaning, he turned on his back, steadily trying to force his form off the floor despite his little arms seeming to scream out in pain, the pin-prickling sensation and tension barely registering in his head. Which he found funny and quite intriguing. His body shouldn't be able to feel pain, he shouldn't even feel tired.
Bill blinked his one eye warily, squinting into familiar territory.
He felt two eyes blink.
Bill sighed and held onto his top hat as he stood up, trying to fly back upwards because well, who walked when they could freaking fly? He hated standing. It made him look tinier and his clients tended to laugh at him, which would result in them in being blasted to a cow dimension.
But, to his surprise, he stayed on the ground. He gritted his teeth and tried again. Again, nothing. Nada.
"Great. I'm back in Gravity Falls. If only I could float and not be a human," Bill grumbled to himself, mostly sarcastically. But really, this was wonderful for him. Now he just needed to summon his demon friends and take over again. This time, he needed to find out a much more subtle way of taking over. Perhaps he can capture the Pines and trap them, and not just little Shooting Star. Yes, he could try that.
Bill shakily stood up, and realized that he was facing a stop sign without looking up. Oh cool, he was a taller hologram form for once.
Bill snapped his fingers to summon his cane, and waited for a full ten seconds before he tried again. He snapped his fingers a third time, and nothing came. Is the world kidding him right now?
"Pine Tree," he growled under his breath. There was only one person on this dimension who would spite him like this.
Bill shakily walked to the nearest river, legs feeling like lead and his trek over making him look like a newborn deer. For some reason, his tongue was dry. Since when did intergalactic demons get thirsty? Sure, he drank water and wine before, but he was never thirsty. He was immortal for goodness sake! The feeling was uncomfortable, yeesh.
He splashed some water onto his face, then drank some water with a resigned sigh. He was going to kill the Pines, with no magic or with it. He kept splashing his face until he felt somehow refreshed, his temperature down and his tongue not feeling like sandpaper. "Ah, that's better," he mumbled. He looked down at his hands, stout and black to fit his triangle form.
And saw that they were tan-colored human hands.
Bill almost fell backwards on his butt, and looked at his hands again in surprise. Eyes wide, lips set in a scowl, he looked up at the sky. "PINE TREEEEEE!" he bellowed.
Bill crawled over to the river and saw a human's face. A twenty-year old boy's to be exact. Blond sun-kissed hair, his top hat and bow-tie, and a white shirt with khakis shorts. He scowled. Pine Tree could've at least given him an eye patch. He can't work with two eyes!
Almost as if the world heard him, an eye patch appeared over his right eye. "Thank you!" he said in exasperation. He pulled back his eye patch just to snap it back in place, the stinging sensation soothing him even just for a little. He did this a few times before he took a deep breath through the nose, looking around expectantly around the bare forest of Gravity Falls.
"Now I just have to find a suit and my cane," Bill mumbled to himself. He stood up, his lead-injected legs feeling much better now that he was slowly getting used to...ugh...a human body.
"Bill Cipher," a toneless voice echoed throughout the forest.
Bill groaned. It was him who did this? Jeez, Pine Tree would have been a better bet than this guy to Bill. "What now, sweet cheeks? Can't you see I'm busy obsessed over my own human body that isn't someone else's for once?" Bill said sarcastically. He didn't even turn around.
"Don't you want to know why I made you human?" the voice asked.
"To torture me?" Bill answered nonchalantly.
"No, Cipher. I made you mortal so-"
"MORTAL?!" Bill bellowed, seeing his reflection reflect his disgust in the clear river.
The voice sighed. "Yes. You wanted a second chance, and I shall give it to you. You have three years to fall in love, or else you will be put back in your prison. If you do this successfully, you can either chose to stay in your human form, or become your demon form to..." the voice trailed off.
"Tooo?" Bill asked hopefully, his reflection smirking. Oh ho, this was getting interesting. Really interesting.
"You may take over Gravity Falls as you wish to be," the voice said in defeat.
Bill grinned.
"If you don't mind me asking, why on Earth would you make such a bargain?" Bill chirped.
"As you thought before, Bill, I want to teach you a lesson. Love may seem useless to you, demon, but it comes with a price," the voice lectured.
"Love can hurt or motivate you, blah blah blah. I don't care. So, who do I have to fall in love with?" Bill asked, a little irritated.
"You may choose whomever."
"Wow, just great. So I just fall in love with that rock over there and I get to be giddy free?"
"No. It must be a human."
"You, my friend, are no fun."
"So I've been told."
Bill stood up and made his way over to the first road he saw. He found a sign nailed to a tree, and stopped briefly to read it. Join us at the Mystery Shack for Soos's last day today at 5 PM!
He smirked, rubbing his chin. He had an internal clock, and knew for certain that it was currently 4:38 PM. He could make it just in time for old Soos's retirement party.
Bill made his way to the Mystery Shack, going over in his head to who he can fall in love with. Mabel Pines? No, she's too bubbly for his taste. Ford Pines? Ugh, he's like 80. Gideon? Um, no. Even demons had morals. He shivered to himself. Who, who, who? Who in Gravity Falls is charming enough for him to stand, but submissive enough to control?
Bill's steps almost faltered as he thought of the perfect person. He grinned to himself, and without realizing, gripped a cane in his hand. Oh, this was absolutely marvelous. Magnificent! His excitement must have summoned the cane, but he really didn't mind. He minded, really, was the fact that he found the perfect boy, someone who he could manipulate so easily, as he has done before. His little puppet. And he shall become the puppeteer.
Dipper Pines.