lavenderlover
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Recent works
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The Sea-Serpent's Kiss by lavenderlover
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Jackson Movies), Lord of the Rings - Fandom
30 Apr 2026
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Summary
"Just… name your price," Boromir sneered. "And speak plainly, pirate scum."
"My price, hm?" Azgaran reached out with a dreadful, casual possession, to catch a handful of Boromir's sweat-damped hair. "Well, it is a very specific one, if you must know. And it is not for gold. 'The vial is to be filled—to the very stopper—with the fresh spend of the Steward's second son. Extracted and delivered by his own spoiled hand'."
Boromir stared, his mind refusing to parse the words, to assemble them into a concept that could be understood. It was nonsense. A vile, obscene joke. "You… are mad," Boromir breathed.
"Am I?" Azgaran's calloused thumb stroked across the pulse hammering at the base of Boromir's jaw. "Then your brother must be mad, also. Since he agreed to the terms not an hour ago."
OR, the story of how Boromir is captured by a group of extremely sexy, extremely depraved pirates, and the ransom they demand in exchange for his freedom is a copious amount of Faramir's cum. Yeah, seriously. Psychosexual torture, innuendos aplenty, erotic humiliation, and gay awakening(s) ensue. Porn-with-porny-plot; crack treated (mostly) seriously. Did I mention sexy pirates?
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Sevenfold by lavenderlover
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Jackson Movies)
30 Dec 2025
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Summary
"I say this not to shame you, nor frighten you," Aragorn implored, "I come to you for aid, might this be an affliction born of my own treacherous heart's desire."
"But that tale about the honey-stars..." you breathed, "it is merely myth, my Lord!"
"It appears not. Please understand, I would never sully you with such forwardness unless I dared hope you might assist me with this... predicament." Aragorn's predicament strained against his breeches, intimately outlined.
You swallowed thickly. "And... if I would? Assist you?"
"Then I pray you act swiftly. For if mercy delays... I fear I will shame myself. Without even touching you."
An innocent gift gone awry coils a lusty enchantment around the unsuspecting heart of Minas Tirith, sending half the fevered kingdom careening into an erotic, flesh-bound frenzy... for you. Singularly.
To break the perilous, time-sensitive spell—and relieve the libidinous cravings it induces—you must embark on a pleasure-soaked odyssey across Middle-earth, aided by King Aragorn and his chosen companions. Each lurid decision draws you closer to deliverance...
So long as desire doesn't devour you first.
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Only Talking by lavenderlover
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Jackson Movies)
11 Nov 2025
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Summary
“There I was, Miri, in full plate, trying to will the thing down like a fool!” Boromir exclaimed. “A most stubborn erection, it was!”
“Is that why you had that terrible scowl on your face?” Faramir could recall it clearly. “You looked like you were having a psychic battle with some unseen foe and losing.”
“Because I was!” Boromir cried. “See, the more you think on it—about that stirring in your loins, and how it should really not be happening—the more the damned beast seems to dig in its heels, doesn’t it?”
Faramir chuckled. “Yes. I am familiar with the particular... logistics of it all. Every man is. I, myself, have fallen victim to an inopportune… burgeoning… many times.”
“Really?” Boromir stopped fidgeting. “Prove it.”
OR, how Boromir’s crude anecdote about a treasonous, ill-timed cockstand leads him and Faramir spiralling down a path of late-night, illicit confessions. Emboldened by the wine and the increasingly-flimsy mantra that they are “only talking,” they share their masturbatory habits, deepest desires, and more, in excruciating detail. It’s entirely brotherly. Right?
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Two-Two by lavenderlover
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Jackson Movies)
25 Oct 2025
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Summary
"Explain it to me," Boromir demanded. "This… filth in the shape of a poem. I know enough to know you have written something… bawdy. But I would hear its truth from you."
"No. Please," Faramir whimpered. "It is nonsense. A jest. A stupid, drunken—"
"I read the thing, Faramir. I could feel the lust curling the edges of the parchment. A drunken jest? No. This is meaningful. It's meticulous! Tell me what it means. Now."
"It means nothing!" Faramir choked out.
"Nothing, aye? Okay. 'Two-two was too satisfying'," Boromir read aloud. "Too much wetness. Hotness. And hardness." At the word hardness, he emphasised the point by crushing their bodies together, from head to toe. "What does it all mean? Shall I take it up to the scribes and ask for a court-wide workshop?"
Faramir's breath hitched. "You wouldn't."
"Try me," Boromir responded. "I've done worse for less, little brother."
OR, the story of how Boromir finds Faramir's dirty little poem, gets intensely aroused by it, demands to know what and who it's about, and then is utterly unravelled by the answer.
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The Quiet Margin by lavenderlover
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings (Jackson Movies), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings - Fandom
28 Sep 2025
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Summary
"So tell me, Faramir-mine," Boromir said, voice thick with amusement, "is reading about the pleasures of the flesh the real reason you spend so much time in the library? And here I thought you were studying strategy. Silly me."
Faramir blinked. His fist clenched around the handle of his knife. "You went through my things," he said, tightly. "You are utterly insufferable."
"And you ought to be more careful," Boromir retorted, wiping his thumb along the corner of his mouth. "See, next time you spill yourself all over the archival velvet, someone less loving than me might find out. Imagine if our Lord Father Denethor found your… library paste… on the heritage fabrics? My, Faramir. What would he say?"
Faramir didn't know what their Father would say. But he did know it was time for revenge.
OR, the story about an escalating, brotherly prank-war that quickly spirals out of control; involving forged letters regarding tree-fornication, staged wet-dreams, petty thievery, vanilla ice-cream used as psychosexual torture, and more.
Recent bookmarks
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In the Blink of a Little Shinigami's Eye by monksbareass
Fandoms: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
21 Feb 2023
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Summary
The human whose name is written in this note shall orgasm.
Follow Blink the 'Koshinigami' aka. God of Little Death as they make their way through the Death Note universe. Enjoy as they insert themselves into your favourite scenes... and characters. How will events play out with the addition of such a mischievous devil?
Read to find out.
Bookmarked by lavenderlover
14 Feb 2023
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Sittin’ Pretty under the Christmas Tree by LucyEllis_394 for lavenderlover
Fandoms: Elvis (Movie 2022), Elvis Presley (Musician)
07 Jan 2023
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Summary
What do you get the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll for Christmas?
Inspired by Elvis Presley’s “Lover doll” you enlist the help of Jerry Schilling to get you wrapped up pretty underneath Elvis’ personal Christmas tree in Graceland on Christmas Eve as an early gift.
Steve helps in a way too.
Christmas Day sees you and the boys punished for working behind Elvis’ back. ;)
Bookmarked by lavenderlover
07 Jan 2023
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Summary
for a prompt on the AD kink meme: "GOB wants Michael to pay attention to him/let him help with the banana stand, but Michael just wants him to go away. When GOB forces his way in, Michael tells him to just sit on the floor and behave himself. When Michael is dealing with some customers, GOB starts blowing him. Michael is really embarrassed, but tries to keep his cool and handle the customers."
Bookmarked by lavenderlover
14 Jan 2020
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The Party Incident and Other Embarrassing Anecdotes by poubelle_squelette
Fandoms: Undertale (Video Game)
07 Dec 2018
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Summary
"so how do you know papyrus?"
Too embarrassed to admit that you were a party crasher there for free food, you blurted the first thing that came to mind, "Oh, I'm, um, I'm dating his brother! But enough about me, how do you know Papyrus?"
The skeleton snickered, "oh, you didn't know? i'm the brother."
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Bookmarked by lavenderlover
14 Jan 2020