Chapter Text
Arthur looked at the photo again. It wasn’t possible.
His hands were shaking so much the picture was a blur, but Arthur knew the face so well he could spot it in the dark. He didn’t need to feel the sharp cheekbones, the slope of a nose or the plush of the lips. He knew that face like it was his own. He felt a heat rise through his body, felt his fingers twitch, and felt himself start to gag. He had to sit down, before he fell.
“Arthur? Arthur, mate, are you alright?” Leon stood up, he walked towards Arthur, hands heading to Arthur’s shoulders. “Jesus Arthur!” Arthur was hunched over, face in his hands and file strewn across the floor. “What’s wrong?”
Arthur made a gruff sound, and Leon picked up the folder from the ground.
“It’s not… I mean you never care about the sorcerers. I get that he’s young, but he should know that he should be registered…” Leon stopped, scanning through the file and taking in a harsh breath. “Christ, they’re not sparing the rod, but I didn’t think you’d be like- shit.” And Arthur knew that was when Leon had spotted the name that had been rolling from Arthur’s tongue for the past few months.
Merlin Emrys.
***
The van was large enough to fit six people and eight times as many weapons. There was also a small cage, which Arthur tried to ignore while he mentally went over the plan again.
“Take an extra set of tranquilisers and a stun gun each.” Arthur wasn’t even surprised at how callous his voice sounded, it seemed only right he’d sound as detached and numb as he felt on the inside. Like it was a nightmare, the worst thing he could ever have imagined happening had been brought to life in less than an hour and a half.
The crew looked anxiously at Arthur, but followed the order.
“Arthur, we don’t have to-” Gwaine was standing up, hand placed on Arthur’s shoulder, but Arthur shook the embrace like it burned. He didn’t need them to comfort him, didn’t want them to excuse his mistakes.
“Take him in? He’s a corrupt sorcerer, like everyone else.” Arthur snapped. But, for a second- an awful second, he imagined if they left him. If he just didn’t arrest Merlin. If he could go back to his flat that night, curl up in their bed and pretend he didn’t know any better.
“Maybe, but we don’t have to be the ones to do it.” Gwaine mumbled.
“We’re the best and he needs to be taken in.” The words almost choked Arthur as he said them, but it was important. Because Merlin had to be something truly evil to seduce Arthur, make Arthur love him, and harbour all that rotten magic below the surface.
He was of Warlock level. All that power, he had kept it hidden.
It didn’t seem to match up, the Merlin who kissed Arthur both like he was something delicate and something addictive, the Merlin who laughed at Arthur’s jokes even when they weren’t funny, the Merlin who got up early to make coffee for Arthur could *not* be a wizard. He could not be so vile, filled with tainted power. He couldn’t be.
Yet, he was. The proof had left small ink stains on Arthur’s finger tips. He had stroked the picture over and over until it had gone blurry.
When Arthur had left earlier that morning, he’d kissed Merlin goodbye and promised he’d try to be home early, because he had something special in mind. And Merlin had grinned at him, and then kissed him back with such a passion Arthur had been smiling for half the day.
It turned out Arthur would be home early with a surprise for Merlin, just not one either of them would enjoy.
“Are we all familiar with the plan?” The crew looked among each other, clearly uncomfortable, but nodded anyway.
Arthur would go ahead in, subdue Mer- the sorcerer and hold him down, when he would then signal the rest of the team to join him. It was risky, and nowhere near the usual set up, but this was something none of them had ever faced before.
Arthur stepped out of the van, shoving his handgun down the back of his trousers, cuffs lodged in his back pocket and small tranquiliser dart in hand. All the things that would lead to the capture of the person he loved.
No, the sorcerer. The liar. No one could love such a creature.
Arthur stood alone in the lift, the rest of the team taking the stairs to reach his flat. Arthur sat down, breathing heavily and holding back screams and sobs.
Arthur opened the door to his flat, weak on his legs as he threw himself through and left the door unlocked. He stayed silent, still for a second. Hoped Merlin was asleep, hadn’t heard him, would never hear him. He hoped Merlin had heard, had started to run for the door and get away. He hoped Merlin would come bounding towards him and reveal it was all a lie.
He hoped for anything. Anything, anything in the world that wasn’t this reality.
“Hey Arthur!” That voice always made Arthur’s heart speed up, but it didn’t usually make him want to cry. He watched as Merlin jumped up from the couch, scattering papers and rubbing his eyes, awake from a dream and smiling at Arthur as though there were nothing else in the world. “Are you alright?” The concern Merlin showed would have been touching, if Arthur didn’t know it was fake. It had to be. Of course it was.
Arthur barely moved, taking a tentative step towards the man he thought he loved, he thought loved *him.*
“You know what’s wrong.” Arthur’s voice did not waver. He did not stammer. He was a soldier again, like he’d always been.
Merlin looked confused, even a little hurt at the tone, and Arthur’s blood screamed in rage. How dare this… wizard fuck him up like this? How dare this creature of complete evil walk into his life, make him fall in all the best ways and then hit the floor.
“Arthur, was it a bad day at work or something?” Arthur had told Merlin he worked in government, which was true, he was just never very specific about which area of the government he was in.
“Yes.”
Merlin was a few feet away from Arthur, and stretched out a pale arm to grasp at Arthur’s hand, acting like he wanted to help him. Arthur jumped away and hissed at him.
“Don’t touch me.” This was not the plan. Arthur was supposed to keep Merlin lulled in a false sense of security, then drug him, cuff him, and drug him again before reinforcements came. So far it was not working.
Arthur didn’t think it would hurt so much to see Merlin, though. He thought he could make himself detached, shut his emotions down, off, close them like he’d been taught to do so many times before.
“Arthur, what’s wrong?” Merlin had stepped back, because he always knew when Arthur needed space and did he have to be so perfect, did he have to make it hurt this much?
“You.” Arthur couldn’t control himself, and before he knew what he was doing had Merlin pressed against the wall, hands lingering on his throat but not pushing. Couldn’t make himself squeeze.
And Merlin, who was possibly the most powerful warlock of all time, simply stood with scared eyes staring at, into, Arthur, hurt and confused and worried. He should kill Arthur. Set his arm on fire, boil his flesh off, send him flying out the window and blow the flat into smithereens. Arthur snarled.
“Why did you do it?” Arthur was screaming.
“Do what?” Merlin looked so worried, and if Arthur didn’t know better he would say the worry was for him. “Arthur, get off! Get the hell-”
“Shut up, just shut up!” Arthur threw Merlin away from himself and stepped back. “Did you put a spell on me?” Arthur can all but feel Merlin’s blood run cold as he watches the colour (what little there was) seeping from the warlock.
“What?” It’s a whisper. It’s nothing, a hiss, a stripe of colour in the silence. It’s not a denial.
“You heard me, Merlin.” Merlin winced, it was the first time Arthur had said his name since coming home, and it was so full of hate. “Have you done some fucking magic on me so I would love you?”
Merlin opened his mouth and let out a squeak, and for a moment Arthur thought he was going to run.
“Because the only reason you could bloody like me would be magic?” Merlin shook his head. “Wait, Arthur, let me talk to you about-”
“You’ve been fucking lying to me, how should I know what’s real and what isn’t?” Arthur slammed his hand on the table, plan totally forgotten now he had Merlin pinned in a corner. None of it mattered, none of it fit, none of it made sense now.
“I have not lied to you!” Merlin was yelling, and Arthur had never heard him yell. Not in any of their other arguments. He moved his hand, maybe to shove Arthur off him, maybe to hold him, it didn’t matter. Arthur shoved Merlin further back to the wall. Maybe he would crack the cement, send them both tumbling to the ground.
“You didn’t tell me!”
“Because if I had they could have arrested you, Arthur.” Merlin’s voice was so soft, and his words were croaked a little. Arthur’s stomach dropped. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t risk you. The things they do to people in there, it’s the only thing I’ve been afraid of, losing the people I love to *them!*” Merlin sounded disgusted; he didn’t realize he was talking about Arthur.
“You don’t know a *thing* about it.” Arthur spat. Merlin was spilling out the usual crap that sorcerers and their blind defenders offered. The Sorcerers were taken in, dealt with however the government deemed fit, and the people that harboured them punished. It was the law, it was justice and Merlin was perverting it to suit himself.
He was warping Arthur’s career, Arthur’s cause, now Arthur’s one source of pride in this world. The only thing he had now.
“I do Arthur!” Merlin yelped, and Arthur noticed that he’d squeezed his hand around Merlin’s throat. He dropped his hand, shocked and hurting at himself for it. Merlin’s eyes were doe eyed, honest, that bloody genuine look that always made Arthur’s heart speed up. It was a lie now, though. Merlin deflated against the war, and he didn’t drop his gaze to Arthur. “My, my dad…”
Before Arthur had time to say anything, to do anything, to ask for whatever Merlin was going to say, Gwaine came bolstering through a back window and shot a dart into the back of Merlin’s neck.