Archive of Our Own

"Hey Sonic? Didn't you say you had to be back home by now?"

Sonic shifted from his spot in the tree, peeling his eyes open slowly as the fog from his nap faded. Mostly. He sighed, trying to shake the fatigue that had haunted him for months now, ever since Starfall Islands. Below him Tails waited patiently, eyeing the setting sun with concern, confusing the still waking hedgehog.

"You told me Shadow would be mad if you stayed out all day today," The small fox called up, surprising Sonic, he really couldn't recall having that conversation, "I really don't want him getting mad at me for keeping you out." Sonic internally cringed at the fear in his brother's voice, knowing that it wasn't irrational, unfortunately Shadow had earned that fear. Looking at that looming sunset he was about to taste what made the fox so fearful. He should never have taken a nap.

"Sonic?"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you," Best to get home and deal with whatever was waiting for him, this coming week was going to be rough already without him being late to the start of it all.

The hero stretched on his branch and hopped down, ruffling Tail's tuft of fur on his head with an accompanying squawk of displeasure, "I'll get out your hair and save you the stress of Shadow coming after you!" He shot his brother a grin, masking the exhaustion he couldn't quite shift from his bones. Tails relaxed and fixed his fur.

"Ok, good." He beamed back, making Sonic's heart twinge with guilt. He was hiding so much from his friends, things he couldn't burden them with. If they knew the consequences he was living with after absorbing the cyber corruption to save them… he couldn't let them suffer that kind of guilt. It had been his choice to keep fighting through the pain and what felt like his very soul tearing apart. He would do it all over again if it kept them safe.

"I'll see you tomorrow bud!" Sonic waved and started to walk away.

"I thought you and Shadow were going away for the week after his latest treatment?" Sonic froze, he turned and faced the frowning fox. Right, he was meant to be focusing on Shadow this week, duh! He was literally just thinking about that and obviously he had told Tails that too. Stupid brain fog.

"Yeah, that's what I meant, see you next week!" He covered quickly, smile back on his face but he knew it didn't quite reach his eyes like normal. Tails sighed.

"Are you sure everything is ok Sonic? I know this stuff with Shadow since white space has been tough, but you don't seem yourself these days." Tails locked onto his eyes and Sonic could see every unveiled emotion in them and how he had failed to keep his issues completely to himself.

Part of him desperately wanted to share the burden. Share that no matter how much he slept he never felt rested, that he kept forgetting stupid things like turning off the oven and Shadow's appointments. That how despite continued treatment from G.U.N.'s top scientists, Shadow's body was continuing to deteriorate after having his body mutated and manipulated by Black Doom. He couldn't put all that on his young brother, and Shadow would never forgive him for telling someone he wasn't as strong as he used to be.

No, all Tails needed to know was that yes, Shadow's body was unstable after all the mutations that were forced on him, but he was getting back to normal and Sonic was just distracted by it all. That's it.

"It's all good, I promise, see you next week, let's take the tornado out yeah?" Tails didn't look convinced but he knew a lost cause when he could see one.

"Yeah, that would be awesome, see you Sonic! Tell Shadow I said hi!" The two tailed fox said in farewell and disappeared into his workshop. Sonic sucked in a big breath and prepared his uncooperative body to run the short distance home. He just prayed that Shadow's heat hadn't fully set in yet and the hybrid was still sleeping soundly in his nest like he usually did during the days leading up to it.

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Shadow growled as he tore down the densely marked calendar from the kitchen wall. The large wall calendar with all it's notes felt like a kick in the teeth. All this support for Sonic's troubled memory and he still couldn't remember to be here when he was needed! Shadow had written it in red, had left notes in all the usual places and had even reminded the stupid hedgehog to be back by midday at the latest early that morning.

He leant heavily on his cane as he pivoted to the phone he had tossed on the counter, might as well try calling the fool one more time before burning his face out of every photo around their home. The phone rang through with no answer and Shadow threw a mug at the wall to try to feel better. The ceramic pieces clinking melodically on the floor did nothing to sooth his rage.

His fur was damp with sweat and his insides felt cruelly empty. He had woken up an hour ago to the dreaded warmth building under his fur and an unyielding ache in his core. An extremely unwelcome addition to all the aches and pains he suffered daily from his worsening joints. He had reached across then bed, seeking out the only one who could help rid him of this pain, only to find it void of one Hero of Mobius.

Searching the house for a potentially napping Sonic had been difficult, his heat seemed to have exacerbated his weaknesses and chronic pain. He had resorted to using the cane Sonic had covered in stickers. He had done it to try and make Shadow feel better about needing mobility aids when the treatments failed to stabilise his body.

Shadow rested against the counter, trying to breath through his anger and building lustful thoughts, both somehow about Sonic. He could feel the slick starting the breach the containment of his slit and his cock was starting to get the memo that something was happening.

At least one dick could show up on time.

With a sigh Shadow turned to throw the phone back on the side and the stack of notes by the crowded sink caught his eye. All were in his clear handwriting, mostly silly things like, 'Check the oven' and 'Call Tails back' but the one resting on top made his cooling rage flare up.

"Please be home by 12"

With a barely restrained shout Shadow swept his arm across the surface, sending the notes and the forgotten, dirty dishes stacked next to the sink crashing to the floor. In hindsight that had been a terrible decision, shards littered the floor and he had neglected to cover his feet with anything when he got up. Hissing to himself for his own stupidity, he tried to navigate the minefield he but his right leg did not want to play ball. Pain from his hip shot down his thigh, making him stumble and step onto a sharp fragment of a bowl.

He stumbled at the surprise pain, his cane knocked out from under him, sending his full weight crashing to the floor. By some miracle he landed outside the hazard zone, but landed hard on the tiled floor, making his eyes tear up as everyone of his joints screamed in agony. He couldn't even enjoy the way to cool tiles sapped the unbearable heat from his body.

There was an embarrassing gush between his legs and Shadow knew he was running out of time to get back to his bed where his poor excuse for a nest was. He needed the security of the plush walls, he was feeling more and more exposed being out of it. He tried to stand but one foot felt numb and useless, he looked for his cane but it had fallen away from him, out of reach in the broken dishes. He tried to repress the urge to cry.

How pathetic was he? Some Ultimate Lifeform he was, he couldn't even stand up and take himself to bed. It was just shy of a year since the symptoms had first started, small things like waking up a bit sore had cascaded into him not being able to get out of bed some days and having to burden Sonic with his care.

In truth he hated himself for how far he had fallen.

He had tried to find ways to stop thinking about what was becoming of him, how he couldn't do all the things he had never thought twice about. Once he could take on the likes of Metal Overlord, now he sometimes needed help just to take a piss. A tear escaped his control, his heart surged with affection for the blue hedgehog, mingling with the anger a self hatred. He was being unfair calling him stupid, the hedgehog hadn't hesitated to be by his side on his worst days and supported him through everything no questions asked. His biggest cheerleader.

It had been Sonic who helped him see reason when he tried every substance he could get his hands on to stop feeling everything. Sonic cared for him so deeply and didn't judge when Shadow told him he wanted to stop existing. More tears slipped down his cheeks as his insides began to cramp, he needed to get back to bed, the tip of his dick was starting to peek out his sheath. The cold air on his heated skin made him shiver.

Where was Sonic?

Had Shadow not been enough for him? Had he not done enough for him? He had tried to help Sonic with his problems, he had set up systems for the now forgetful hero and had urged him to also seek help about his lacking energy. Where had all that gotten him? Sprawled out on the kitchen floor alone at a time he desperately needed the bastard.

He curled in on himself, hugging his arms tight around his belly, trying to ease his aching guts and swelling rage. Unfortunately doing so reminded him of yet another thing he had grown to loath about his body. At the start of all this he had lost weight rapidly, his muscle deteriorated leaving him looking scrawny and thin. His refusal to eat like a normal living creature hadn't helped. It had taken G.U.N. threatening to force feed him for Shadow to start actually eating and keep eating as according to the diet plan he was placed on. This combined with months of inactivity had softened his body, making him rounder. Sonic said it was a good thing. Shadow didn't agree. He missed his old body, he missed feeling strong.

He felt like the floor was falling out beneath him and the weight of his misery. He was such a shell of himself, Gerald would have been ashamed of him. Shadow curled up tighter, inhibitors scraping on the tiles. His cock was fully out now and pressing into the soft fat of his belly teasingly. He wanted to cry he hurt so much, he felt like he was drowning in the darkest cave all alone with no one there to save him. He just wanted it to stop. He wanted to stop existing and feeling like he was falling apart, was that too much to ask?

His body shuddered with a sob, pushing out more slick from a place he rarely acknowledged. Was it really any surprise Sonic had abandoned him? The Hero of Mobius shouldn't be tainted by an alien freak like him. Sonic deserved someone as bright and positive as him, not some broken monster like Shadow.

He should be alone.

He deserved to feel all this pain for every wrong choice he had made in his life.

He should just fade away and be a smear on the history of the planet.

Who would miss him?

Not Sonic.

Sonic would be free.

Not burdened.

Sonic could smile properly again.

Shadow squeezed his eyes shut, chest heaving as self loathing swallowed everything in him, leaving nothing but emotional numbness and screaming emptiness.

"Oh Shadow, I'm so sorry."

A hand was placed on his back, making him flinch. No, no, no. His mind had finally snapped, his desperation for his partner had driven him insane.

"Come on Shads, lets get you into your nest."

The hand stroked the top of his quills affectionately, Shadow breathed deep, holding on to the lungful of air. He opened his eyes to prove to himself he was alone, but that wasn't what happened. Through his hazy vision Sonic's face emerged, dazzling green eyes full of sorrow and apologies and then the idiot did something that stopped the downward spiral of self hatred eating Shadow alive.

He smiled.

Shadow had never seen something so beautiful, so bright. He wanted to bath in the light it shone on his decrepit soul.

Shadow exhaled and pushed himself up on shaky arms and Sonic caught him, pulling him into his lap, whispering sweetly into black ears. Shadow felt at last of his control slip, tears rolled down his cheeks only to be absorbed by Sonic's glove as he stroked his face. Shadow kept his eyes on Sonic's face, like he would vanish as soon as he looked away despite now being cradled in the hero's arms. Shadow wanted nothing more than to kiss those lips that spoke such saccharine words he felt coat his bones in adoration.

"Not here," Sonic said when Shadow surged forwards to capture those lips with his, "Come on, I've got some making up to do."

Shadow was aware of Sonic lifting him, carrying him like the most precious cargo through their small cottage. He couldn't focus on anything but how Sonic surrounded him, his earthy scent filling his throat and lungs, his soft fur brushing against his and his strong arms giving Shadow a sense of security he hadn't felt in so long.

Sonic lay him on the bed, taking time to fix the collapsed wall of the nest from where Shadow had stumbled out of it earlier. It felt like torture to watch Sonic not join him. The hedgehog vanished out the bedroom door, making a sense of panic rise in Shadow's heart. He tried to get off the bed to follow but his legs had finally given up completely.

Was he leaving for good?

Just as fast as Shadow could fall apart, Sonic was back, a bundle of fresh blankets under one arm and a couple bottles of water in hand.

"Hey, lay down ok? I'm here now." Sonic reassured as he placed the bottles down on the bedside and sat on the edge of the bed, pressing a kiss to Shadow's forehead. He offered the blankets to Shadow who took them, his brain telling him to add them the mess around him.

"You weren't here," Shadow choked out, clutching the plush fabric, it felt so soft against his pads, Sonic sagged, "Why weren't you here?" Shadow had so much he wanted to say. He wanted to scream at the other and punch him for not being there when he was needed, but that was all he could manage. Sonic kicked off his shoes and quickly removed all clothing.

"I know Shads," He finally crawled into the nest, Shadow lay back, the blankets a flimsy barrier between them as Sonic loomed over him, caging his head with peach arms, setting off every nerve in Shadow's body, "I'm so sorry." He whispered against Shadow's lips. He pressed down and Shadow's body erupted in in joy at the contact, Sonic balanced on one arm so he could hold Shadow's cheek.

"I thought you hated me, everyone hates me," Shadow said tightly when the brief kiss broke, "How can you stand to touch me?" Sonic pulled back to examine Shadow's face, the concern etched deep.

"No one hates you Shadow, I could never hate you, you are my world." Shadow's heart sped up at Sonic's admission. Part of him knew his stupid head was making him feel worse, the vulnerability of heat making everything so much more than it was, but he wasn't strong enough to fight it.

"I hate me." He said quietly, followed by a sob. He let go of the blankets to cover his face. He wanted to physically keep the cursed tears in his head, clawed fingers digging into his skin, nearly drawing blood. He was so pathetic. Even now, feeling the lowest he ever has, his cock twitched when Sonic merely moved, cunt clenching around nothing, wanting so desperately for Sonic to fill him. Sonic should be disgusted, he should leave, yet his firm presence remained.

"Hey," Sonic said softly, gently lifting one of his hands from his face, he pressed a kiss to Shadow's knuckles, "You shouldn't say stuff like that." He sat back, taking his weight off the one arm holding him up but didn't let go of the hand, instead he straddled Shadow's waist, pinning the hybrid's aching hard on between them. Shadow gasped, hips moving without a thought, the friction of Sonic's ass feeling euphoric. The heat under his skin exploded, it was unbearable how sensitive he felt.

"Please." He whined, needing more, but Sonic didn't move. He kissed the back of Shadow's hand, sweeping away the blankets from Shadow's chest so he could see him fully.

"I wish you could see the you that I see Shadow," He said against red striped fur, "I guess until you can love yourself, I'll have to do it for you," He gently pulled Shadow's other hand towards him, holding them up to his mouth so he could kiss each knuckle, "I love your hands, they can be so gentle, yet so fierce, everything I want in a partner." Sonic ground down on Shadow, making him whimper with both emotional and physical need. The hero slipped his hands down to the rings on Shadow's wrists.

"No, please." Shadow pleaded, he knew what Sonic was seeking and he didn't want to face that right now, he just wanted to be filled over and over. He tried to pull his arms back but Sonic ground down on his dick hard, making him feel dizzy. Sonic's thumb rubbed against his wrist, feeling the slight bumps hidden in the fur, the shameful reminders of Shadow's darkest moments. Sonic smiled and kissed the scars.

"I love your scars, because they mean you can still heal," Sonic's eyes never left Shadow's, like he was trying to hypnotise Shadow into feeling every drop of affection. Sonic dropped one wrist in favour of kissing up the striped arm to the shoulder, slowly moving his hips to keep Shadow a mewling mess, "I love your arms, the way they hold me when no one else can see me struggling."

Shadow was lost, words swirling around in the toxic mix of carnal need and bitter loathing. Every movement from Sonic pushing him in a little deeper, every word pulling him up for air.

"I love your shoulders, they hold so much weight and never slump," Sonic continued, kissing each shoulder, then kissed the tips of Shadow's ears, "I love your ears, they listen to my every word, even the ones I don't say." His breath tickled Shadow's ears, making them flick on reflex, drawing a chuckle out of the blue hedgehog. It was the most ethereal music. Shadow needed more, needed more touching, needed more praise.

"Sonic-" He tried to beg but Sonic kissed his lips instead.

"I love your mouth, for as sharp as you words can be, your kisses are always soft and loving," Sonic said with a small smile. Shadow closed his eyes as Sonic kissed them, "I love your eyes, no chaos emerald or jewel can hold a candle to their brilliance," Sonic kissed the spot on his forehead where his quills grew, "I love your unique quills, they keep you safe." Shadow could feel a different type of tear building, Sonic's consistent movements were making his gut twist, drawing him near what he so desperately needed but it wasn't enough to push him over the edge. A tear of frustration slipped from his clenched eyes, Sonic licked it up, making Shadow whine.

"I love your tears, they tell me how deep your emotions run," Sonic lifted off Shadow's lap, making the needy hedgehog cry out and try to chase the friction with his hips. He couldn't stop there, not now, what was he doing?! Sonic shuffled himself so he now sat between Shadow's legs, getting to take in his debauched partner. The hybrid felt so disgusting, the now exposed pre cum was cooling on his belly and he could feel the slick from his cunt sliding down his taint and asshole to pool underneath him on the sheets.

"Look at you faker, I've never seen someone so beautiful," Shadow felt like an arrow had just been shot through his heart. He opened his eyes to see Sonic sitting back on his heels between Shadow's legs, stroking his own erection, he looked like he wanted to eat Shadow alive.

Yes!

Shadow would die happy if his last act was to be devoured by Sonic.

Sonic let go of his cock and loomed back over Shadow's prone form, briefly causing their lengths to rub together in delicious torment. Shadow tried to repress the shiver of anticipation but he failed, his dick jumped, another drop of pre cum seeping into his fur.

"Where was I?" Sonic asked, he didn't wait for an answer, he kissed the centre of Shadow's white tuft, "I love your chest fur, it's my favourite thing to run my fingers through," He then kissed slightly to the left, right over his heart, "I love your heart, it can hold so much love, even when it's broken." Sonic moved back, breaking the weak contact between their cocks, Shadow could feel the last of his dignity vanish with the way he wept at the loss.

"Please, I need you, I need you inside." He had no control over the tears now, Sonic looked like a predator with a kill. He ran his hands down Shadow's sides, lighting up every nerve like lightning, making him pant and writhe with desire. Sonic grinned and kissed Shadow's less than flat abdomen.

"I love your chubby, little belly, it's the best pillow in the house." Sonic took time to lay a few more kisses on his stomach and Shadow wanted to melt. He was too far gone to work out if it was shame or pure want that threatened to bubble over. Sonic sat back again, Shadow's breath hitched, willing Sonic to kiss and love on the parts of him that were screaming for his attention.

But he didn't.

Instead Sonic hooked a hand under one of Shadow's legs, bringing a foot up to his face, nuzzling it before kissing the sole of his foot. Sonic wanted him dead, Shadow was sure of this now. Sonic's eyes locked onto his again, mesmerising.

"I love your feet, they hurt like hell but have saved my hide more than once with how hard you can kick," While maintaining the eye contact, Sonic licked a thick line from heel to toe, something he had never done before. It made Shadow squirm with the sensation. There were far better things to be licking than his feet. Sonic kissed his way up the inside of the connected leg, moving closer to where he should be, "I love your legs, they are the only things that can keep up with me and I can't wait to race with you again." He continued to kiss down the black thigh, taking a chance to kiss the other one, drawing tantalisingly close to Shadow's wanting heat.

Something about that last declaration didn't sit right, but Sonic was mouthing his thighs in all the right ways to make his head feel empty and fuzzy. Shadow pressed his head back into the edge of the nest, finding the strength to push his hips towards the gifted mouth that promised salvation. Yet nothing came. The frustration was starting to burn through the vapid state he had be lulled into by Sonic's silver tongue.

"I love your thick thighs, I'm always at my happiest when I'm between them."

Finally.

Finally, Sonic turned his attention to the wet mess between the very thighs he loved so much, a kiss was placed right on the needy hole. Shadow gasped, grinding his hips into Sonic's face, the hero hummed in approval, sending a bolt of pleasure straight up Shadow's spine. Shadow's hands moved to grip blue quills as Sonic let his tongue run through the slick, sampling the viscus fluid. Shadow's eyes rolled back and Sonic dutifully cleaned up the mess he was partly responsible for. The knot of pleasure in Shadow's belly tightened again, he need more, he need Sonic inside please! He was getting so close to tipping over the into a blissful orgasm, to getting the reprieve it promised.

The brat pulled away, muzzle covered in slick and had the gall to smile. Sonic was practically shaking the bed with how hard his tail was wagging at the noises Shadow made in protest to loss of contact. Sonic pressed a kiss to the base of Shadow's dripping cock.

"I love how you have so many ways for me to bring you pleasure," Sonic said, voice heavy with his own need, "Truly the Ultimate Lifeform, how could anyone ever compare to you."

Shadow whined at the words, the words of affirmation cutting deep to the core of his very being, making it hard to catch his breath. He had thought himself unworthy of the title, a far cry from the perfect being Gerald tried to create. Yet here sat the centre of his universe, the one so many idolised, telling him all the ways in which Shadow was perfect for him.

Sonic returned his attention to both his cock and cunt, alternating between sucking gently on his shaft and sliding his fingers through the fresh slick, fingers barely breaching the entrance to the aching void that rested within him.

"You are my favourite meal any time of the day, the most delicate and sweet dessert," Sonic paused to dip back down and lap at Shadow's folds, collecting as much of the sweet nectar as possible, swallowing with a moan before coming back up for air, "And if I ever crave anything more savoury…" Sonic held Shadow's neglected dick, licking up the shaft and sucking on the head.

Shadow was tearing apart at the seams, Sonic's mouth worked up and down his shaft, burying his nose into black fur and driving Shadow mad by swallowing around his cock. He could feel the tension building, helped along by prying fingers finally seating themselves in his needy cunt.

So close, so close, so close.

But this wasn't how Shadow wanted or needed to reach his euphoria.

"Sonic, Sonic, please," He panted, "Inside, fuck me."

Sonic froze for a second, like his brain was rebooting. The blue hedgehog released Shadow's length and removed his fingers much to Shadow's grief, he keened at the total withdrawal. He could feel his peak waning, in desperation he took his cock in hand, pumping it clumsily, trying to chase his fading high. Sonic batted his hand away from his dick, making Shadow's foggy mind snap back to reality and find some clarity in his flare of anger.

"Did you forget what you are supposed to be doing here?" He hissed, enjoying how Sonic flinched and then the feeling of guilt swarmed any satisfaction he had at lashing out. Sonic watched him from where he was knelt, eyes surprisingly ravenous. A dangerous flash that assured a rough, satisfying fuck.

Yes.

Yes, this is what he wanted. He wanted to be hurt by the other, he wanted Sonic to rewire his body into finding pleasure in every pain, not just the pain he suffered in the bedroom. Sonic crawled forward like a predator stalking prey, he slotted their dicks together, sliding his back and forth. Hands were suddenly on Shadow, tracing the fault lines of his body like they were mapping out his fractured soul.

"Oh I didn't forget anything Shads," Sonic said with a growl in his throat, he grabbed Shadow by the legs, squeezing the meat of his thighs, the pain of the tight grip fanned the flames in Shadow's core. He clenched again, anticipating the pounding he was about to receive. Sonic flipped his legs up by his head, leaving him completely vulnerable and exposed, "I just want to cherish every moment you are moaning so perfectly under me."

Shadow felt immobilised by the honeyed words and being folded into a very familiar position. One that made every thrust hit deep, where every forceful movement hit his cervix and made him see stars with that delectable spark of pain he loved. He slipped back into his comfortable haze, Sonic had him, he just had to let it happen now. He was vaguely aware of Sonic shifting, lining himself up with the weeping hole that had been bereft of what it craved.

"Ready?" Sonic asked, pressing his head against Shadow's wanting heat. Shadow couldn't talk, so overwhelmed with need and how close he was to salvation. He nodded best he could, his dick twitching against his white fur where it lay when he was folded like this.

Sonic said nothing, he pushed forward with his hips, slipping into the tight, slick walls of Shadow's cunt and had to take a moment to breath, which Shadow was slightly grateful for. Despite having gone through countless heats with Sonic, he was never prepared for how sensitive he was when Sonic first entered him. It was worse this time around, Sonic's lengthy teasing and foreplay had ramped up his sensitivity to levels he wasn't sure he had ever felt.

"More." Shadow wheeze, not able to catch his fleeting breath. Sonic grinned and pushed in to the hilt, hips meeting Shadow's. Shadow could feel his franticly wagging tail whipping across Sonic's balls but he didn't care. He needed Sonic deeper, in so far he would be wearing Shadow's skin like a coat.

Sonic was breathing hard too, he pulled back, drawing a gasp from Shadow and slammed back in, just how Shadow loved. Sonic was so good to him, too good. He started slow and built up his pace. Shadow could only hold onto what ever he could grab; blankets, pillows, his own quills, he wasn't sure, he just needed anything to anchor himself while Sonic thrust into him with extreme enthusiasm.

His eyes rolled back in bliss at every jolt of pain when Sonic went too deep. He wanted Sonic to hurt him, ruin him, break him down into his component parts and scatter them to the edges of space. Anything to make him feel something different than the crushing shame of his failures and loathsome heat.

Shadow was quickly reaching his breaking point, Sonic's work earlier serving to end this well before he was ready. Sonic pressed down on his legs even more to fold him tighter. Shadow's hip protested at feeling most of Sonic's weight baring down on it. Instead of the pain laced pleasure he had been feeling, the sharp ache from his joint radiated out and made his eyes water.

He just had to hold on a bit longer, troublesome bones be damned. He closed his eyes again, focused on the feeling of Sonic thrusting in and out of him and the slide of his own cock on his chest like a lifeline. Sonic shifted his weight again, thrusts losing their rhythm and power. A hand came to rest on his chest, pushing down heavily like Sonic was trying to break his ribs and claw out his heart. Sonic's shift in weight to only one leg caused Shadow's grumbling hip to scream, it was too much, the pain overriding any pleasure he was getting. He grabbed onto Sonic's wrists.

"Colt!" He hissed, "Colt!"

Sonic stopped, confusion clear on his face.

"Colt as in that pistol you love?" Shadow could barely see through his watery eyes, Sonic hadn't let up and words were failing to form. Shadow gripped Sonic tighter and wiggled his body to alleviate the pain. Sonic suddenly removed all his weight and pulled out, "Oh! Colt as in safeword! Are you ok? Was I too rough?"

The pain had chased away any high Shadow had been on, he let his legs fall to the bed, body slack in relief. He took a few grounding breaths. Then the shame hit him, he couldn't even stay in a position he used to enjoy for more than a few minuets now. He was so weak, weak and pathetic.

"Shadow?"

Shadow shook his head, not liking how concerned Sonic sounded.

"My hip, it hurts too much." He gestured at the offending joint. It was embarrassing to admit, he had taken much more punishment than this in the past and walked it off. How could he have taken on the black arms with this same body that couldn't handle a bit of rough sex. Sonic's hands cupped his face, making him look into Sonic's eyes.

"Thank you for telling me." Sonic pressed a kiss to Shadow's lips, they moved against each other, slick cocks rubbing together as Sonic bullied his way into Shadow's mouth. Shadow pinned his ears back as he let Sonic count his teeth, sucking gently on his tongue. The pain faded in the wake of Sonic's hands raking down his chest and sides, bringing back that spark of arousal.

"Sonic…" Shadow whimpered against peach lips, the haze descending, the need rebuilding. Sonic shushed him and sat up.

"I'm going to roll you onto your side, try something different." He didn't give Shadow time to absorb the information, instead manoeuvring black limbs to where they needed to be. Satisfied with Shadow being comfortable on his side, Sonic had one final addition to the new position, a pillow shoved between Shadow's knees, supporting his sore hip. Shadow felt all kinds of warmth when the strain on his hip was reduced by the thoughtful hedgehog. Sonic lay down behind him like they did when they spooned at night, an arm working it's way under black and red quills to become a pillow.

Shadow's heart fell, was Sonic giving up? No! No he needed to feel the beautiful release of Sonic inside of him, filling him with everything he had to give over and over until his stupid heat went away. He was suddenly all too aware of every ache in his body, the cloying sweat on his skin felt suffocating. He needed Sonic to make it all go away.

"Sonic…" He manged to huff out of his tightening chest, "I need…" He was shushed by a finger before be could say another word, Sonic kissed his shoulder.

"Just give me a minute, that took it out of me," he shifted, and something hard rubbed against Shadow's backside, his tail wagged again, making Sonic chuckle. That was good, a happy Sonic was good, a happy Sonic will look after him. Sonic slid a hand between Shadow's thighs, gently lifting the one on top, making space, "How's this? Still good?"

Shadow couldn't talk anymore, he nodded best he could with Sonic resting his head on long quills.

"Cool, remember, tell me if it's uncomfortable," He withdrew the arm from under Shadow's head, pushed aside the wagging tail in his way and angled himself, with a firm thrust he was back where he belonged. Shadow moaned loudly, Sonic thrust shallowly, getting deeper each time, "That's it, chaos, you take me so well Shadow, I love you."

Shadow's damp cheeks grew wetter as more tears escaped him at Sonic's declaration. The arm was back under his head, another wrapped around his waist, a hand over his heart. Sonic rolled his hips, the new position was so intimate, so raw. Being held by the one he loved so dearly while being thrust into over and over. It was proof of divinity, for how could such a perfect moment exist in a godless world.

That's how they stayed, Sonic gently rocking into him, holding him close, Shadow's whole world narrowed down to those points of contact with Sonic's body. For a moment Shadow was floating, the misery of his heat and the pang of his aching bones faded, leaving him blissfully free of their burden. The waves of euphoric pleasure rolling over him, cleansing his soul of the rot that had consumed it

He could find his end here, with Sonic flush to his back, buried deep, he didn't want to live another moment where he didn't feel this beloved.

Sonic started going harder, his chest pressed to Shadow's relaxed quills. On his side like this, ass against Sonic and legs pressing together through the supporting pillow, he could feel every inch of Sonic inside of him, caressing his walls, drawing out little moans of pleasure. Sonic's hand drifted from his heart, carding through his sodden fur, down to his forgotten dick. Shadow opened his mouth to moan when Sonic's hand gripped him firmly and suddenly found fingers filling it. He groaned around the intruders, suckling on the digits as Sonic worked his near painful erection.

"That's it my love," Sonic whispered into his ear, the strain in his voice sending delightful shivers down Shadow's spine, "You are so close, I can feel it," Shadow clenched at his words, "Yeah, just like that." Shadow tried to respond, but being filled from both ends was turning off everything left on in his brain, the only thing going through his mind was a reverent chant of Sonic, Sonic, Sonic.

The hand on his cock let go, a finger tip tracing the veins down to the base, right to the sensitive junction between his dick and cunt. Shadow could feel how plump the area was, flushed with blood. When aroused, his balls barely dropped, resting against the the skin, sitting on the thick nerves that ran through the area connecting his genitals. The circles Sonic was rubbing on to the swollen expanse of flesh was making his hidden balls ascend, the sensation bordering on overwhelming.

"You always love it when I play with your clit," Sonic groaned, once more into his ear. Shadow couldn't find it in himself to berate his lover for the comment, talented fingers were making his walls close in, making it hard to draw breath through the winding tension, "Lets finish this." Sonic placed a kiss to Shadow's cheek and retreated to laying behind Shadow.

Shadow didn't have time to think about what was about to happen, the hand teasing his nerve rich mound latched onto his cock and started to pump with a fierce determination. Simultaneously, Sonic decided to make it known why he called himself the fastest thing alive, hips moving at what must have been a blur to anyone watching.

It was perfect.

It was glorious.

It was transcendent.

Suddenly he was on the precipice, staring down into a chasm of eternal pleasure and love, Sonic's words of praise encouraging him to lift his foot and step into the nothing. His whole body tensed, squeezing the cock bruising his insides, he choked out a cry, the fingers muffling most the noise. His length pulsed and his cunt throbbed, his release coating the hand working him, some lost to the swaths of plush fabric he had used to make his nest.

"Yes… Shadow, I love feeling you come around my cock, so perfect." Sonic panted, he worked Shadow through his much needed orgasm. It felt like falling from space, the heat threatening to burn him to cinders on re entry.

Sonic did not cease his thrusts, instead he seemed to increase the force. The cum covered hand let go of Shadow's barely softening cock and grabbed his thigh, once again lifting it so he had more room to change the angle and bury himself deeper. Shadow felt too gone to protest, instead wanting what Sonic still hadn't given him. It didn't take much to tip Shadow off the ledge of warm satisfaction into searing overstimulation. Part of him loved it, loved the burn of pain his over sensitive nerves suffered as Sonic chased his own pleasure.

"Oh chaos, I love you, I'm going to..." Sonic grunted, Shadow felt more tears well, the fingers in his mouth scrunched up hooking his cheek. Sonic slammed his hips up hard, and Shadow felt the twitching of his dick and the oddly soothing sensation of cum coating his tender walls. It was everything he needed.

◯ ☽ ◑ ● ◐ ❨ ◯

Sonic withdrew his fingers and dropped Shadow's leg. wiping the residual cum on a stray blanket. By some mercy Shadow wasn't a moaning mess demanding another round he really didn't have it in him right now. The slow foreplay had Shadow wound up enough to pop without too much vigorous work. It was all worth it, even if Shadow had cried during most of what they did. He would be lying if he said those tears didn't do things to him.

Sonic gave Shadow a hug and pulled out, leaving a sticky mess between Shadow's legs, that should be dealt with soon. He flopped on to his back, one hand running up and down Shadow's side, easing the shivers of overstimulation with gentle contact.

Sonic considered the emotional confessions Shadow had let slip. Sonic knew Shadow carried immense baggage, an inherent loss of self, manipulation, constantly being shaped into a weapon by different people, grief so strong it made the world feel heavy, the list was as long as his arm. Yet Shadow persevered, he was still here and fighting, even if he was changed. Sonic loved him for his stubbornness to not bow down and he was happy to prop Shadow up when he needed an extra boost.

Sonic looked at Shadow's back, his breathing settling out. He wanted to cuddle and smother his partner in kisses but he had to give Shadow time and space to return to himself without overwhelming him like that. His heats granted him small periods of peace once his body had been satisfied and the come down could be very disorientating. So, Sonic had to be patient, he had this whole week coming to lavish Shadow with uninterrupted affection.

He cursed himself for forgetting to bring a damp cloth or wipes to the bed before they started, he never got a chance to wipe off his dick before it sheathed itself. That was going to be a pain to clean later, Shadow was somewhat lucky his heats kept his cock out half hard for the duration. Well, that and he couldn't get infections from a dirty sheath the lucky bastard. Wow, what unsexy thoughts to be having after such an intense bout of love making.

Still, basking in the glow was worth the risk and Shadow needed him here while he came down so it was what it was. He could feel the tacky damp of sweat on Shadow's coat and mentally made a list of priorities.

Get Shadow in the shower and clean.

Remove the soiled blankets and let Shadow rebuild his now ruined nest.

While Shadow puts his nest to rights, quickly clean the kitchen of the shattered dishes.

By time that was all done, Shadow's heat would probably be ramping up again enough to make a start on some teasing. Rinse, repeat. It was going to be a long week.

"Sonic?" Shadow croaked, he rolled over, red eyes looking far more focused than he had seen them all evening, the blown pupils contracting back to a normal size. The was a sparkle of clarity that had been missing when Sonic had come home to find Shadow on the floor, crying.

"Hey," He smiled softly, closing the small gap to press a kiss to the tip of Shadow's nose, "How you feeling? ready for a shower?" He asked, keeping his voice light. As much as he loved Shadow with his whole heart, navigating the hybrid's emotions during heat was a balancing act he hadn't quite fully mastered yet. Shadow blinked slowly, like he was trying to process the last hour. Eventually he nodded.

"I would appreciate that." He said simply, monotonous tone giving away nothing of his emotional state. Sonic knew from experience that something was brewing behind those breath taking eyes.

"I'll go grab your cane!" He chirped, pushing up to climb the wall of the nest, a quick hand on his wrist stopped him in his tracks, "Shads?" Shadow looked away.

"Can you… carry me? I don't think the cane will help right now." Shadow huffed. Sonic was sure his partner was blushing, how cute, but now was not the time to dawdle, Shadow needed pampering and love.

"I got you," He sprung out of bed with energy he didn't know he had, must have come from the the strange well he tapped into during a long battle. He scooped up Shadow into a princess carry, "Hold on yeah?" Shadow nodded again, half heartily throwing an arm over blue shoulders. It was good enough.

Sonic sped the short distance to the bathroom, catching the cord for the light in his teeth and pulling it, lights flashed on showing the modest suit. Sonic had spent a whole weekend refitting their bathroom when it became clear Shadow was getting worse. It had been a labour of love. A larger, more open shower that could easily work with a wheelchair if needed and several rails and handles for Shadow to hold on to. Sonic had been inspired to do it when Shadow started having to ask for help doing things he'd rather be doing alone.

It was Sonic's way of giving Shadow back some independence when he was rapidly losing it.

Sonic walked into the shower and sat Shadow down on the plastic shower chair.

"Thank you." Shadow said meekly. Hm Shadow's throat sounded dry. Oh chaos, he should have given Shadow some water before leaving the nest.

"Let me grab you a drink, one second," Sonic sped out the bathroom and swept up a bottle of water from the bedside, he was back by Shadow's side before he could blink. It seemed it was long enough for apathy to set in. Shadow was staring vacantly through the one glass wall of the shower, looking at the toilet in the corner. Sonic wanted to smack his own head, he should have asked if Shadow needed to pee first, he set the water down on the floor, getting his hands free just in case Shadow needed help "Sorry Shads, did you want to—"

"Why, why did you do it?" Sonic frowned, confused as to what Shadow was talking about.

"Do what?" He asked gently. Shadow raised a hand and gestured around the room.

"Why have you done all of this… for me?" Sonic sagged slight seeing Shadow crumple in on himself, "I… I was the reason Maria and Gerald were killed… I tried to kill you, kill everyone, I've made so many wrong turns and hurt so many people, yet you still claim to love me," Shadow's voice got tight, "Even now, you say you love me despite how weak I am." There were more tears, but not the kind that Sonic liked, he knelt down and took Shadow's hands in his.

"Shadow…I did it because I do love you" For once he wasn't sure what to say right off the cuff other than this one bit of truth. Shadow pulled his hands from Sonic's

"I don't deserve any of this, all I do is hurt those I love, I don't understand why you didn't leave as soon as I became this… burden," Shadow wiped his eyes, "We both know how much energy it takes to care for me now, energy you don't have to spare, why don't you give it to someone more deserving?"

"Shadow," Sonic said firmly, cradling Shadow's face, forcing the eye contact so he could show his sincerity, "Listen to me, you are not a burden, and never, ever think that, you mean more to me than anything, hell, I moved into an actual house for you!" Sonic chuckled, trying to lift the gloomy veil, this was not the first time Shadow had expressed these darker thoughts, "You are not your past, you are not your mistakes or other people's, you are my Ultimate Lifeform." Sonic said firmly, "Don't listen to those demons in your head telling you otherwise, and if they get too loud, then I'll deal with them." Shadow nodded, the lack of conviction in the action made it clear that there was still a lot more of this storm to weather.

Sonic would gladly run into the tempest if it meant saving Shadow from himself.

"You deserve a better man," Shadow said tearfully, like he was trying to break them up, it wouldn't be the first time he had tried, "not one that can barely hold it together and terrifies your brother" Sonic shook his head and picked up Shadow's hand to squeeze it, he wiped the fresh tears on Shadow's cheek with his other hand.

"Hey, none of that, firstly, we're hedgehogs and more importantly I want you and no one else, warts and all," Sonic stood, picking up the water and cracking the lid, handing it to Shadow before reaching for the shower head, "besides, Tails isn't that scared of you, he told me to tell you hi before I left". He turned the water on, setting it colder than he would prefer, but during his heats Shadow really loved having a cooler than normal shower.

"You… you remembered that?" Shadow said with surprise colouring his voice, bottle just shy of meeting his swollen lips. Sonic paused his fiddling with the temperature. Huh.

"Oh hey, yeah I did! That's got to mean something right?" Sonic felt a buzz in his chest, it was something small but it was something so big all at the same time. Could this be the effects of the cyber corruption finally starting to fade?

He needed to focus, Shadow, aftercare, cleaning. Stick to the plan. Sonic looked down at Shadow gulping down water on his chair, his face showed that clearly the previous conversation wasn't over yet. No mind, Shadow can think while Sonic cleans him. He started with wetting the fur on Shadow's legs, the tepid water splashing off the floor and soaking his own blue fur.

Shadow didn't fight him when he grabbed the special 'For dark fur" Shampoo and started working it into his calves with a hum, if anything it seemed Shadow was deeply enjoying the massage. Sonic worked from foot to hip, being careful of the one that had been causing pain and the cock at half mast.

"How do you stay so positive despite everything happening to us, how do you keep going?" Shadow asked out the blue, fidgeting with the now empty water bottle. Ah, they must be getting into what must have been churning in that mess of hormones and insecurities. Sonic shrugged, and focused on massaging soapy thighs while he talked.

"Sometimes you can't keep waiting for the rain to pass you know? Just have to learn how to dance in it," Shadow didn't react, he merely looked to the side. "Things are rough right now, yeah, but we got each other right? We just have to keep looking forward to the next adventure."

Shadow seemed placated for a moment, so Sonic took the plastic bottle from Shadow and threw it behind him, he could get that later. He ran the water over Shadow's torso and enjoyed the way his fur slicked down, showing off the healthier looking body underneath. The first few months of Shadow's decline had been scary, he had become so thin, muscle and fat vanishing almost over night. Sonic rubbed the shampoo into Shadow's belly, it was far from his previously well toned body, it was softer, a tiny bit rounder and it was evidence that Shadow could still recover from this.

Right, he should make sure Shadow ate at least once a day, they still have some of G.U.N.'s nutrition shakes in the back of a cupboard somewhere, they might be more palatable than a full meal. He can make up a shake when he cleans the kitchen. He rubbed Shadow's chest, careful not to get the 'dark fur' shampoo on his white fluff. A hand came up and snagged his wrist. Sonic stopped and turned his attention to Shadow's face.

"Sonic…" Shadow started, but he drifted off, the words not coming.

"Yeah Shads?" Sonic said, encouraging Shadow to say what was on his mind while Sonic leant him forwards to get his back. Shadow took a deep breath.

"You said, before we… you said you couldn't wait to race me again," He paused, looking up to meet Sonic's green eyes, "What happens if I never get better?" Shadow swallowed hard, chest brimming with emotion.

Truthfully Sonic had considered something like that, and had set about thinking of things he could do if the worst case scenario happened. He had an idea of what they could do in the situation Shadow never gained back his former self.

"Easy, I'll get Tails to trip out that wheelchair we stole from the G.U.N. ward, I can take you our for runs! Get the wind rushing through those quills again!" Sonic said with full conviction, rinsing his hands off so he could grab Shadow's preferred soap for his tuft, "Can already think of some cool places to take you, run out there, spend the day relaxing, it will be nice! Can you stand?" He asked, wanting to clean off between Shadow's legs. Shadow nodded, he held tight to the rail attached to the wall and pulled himself up. Sonic was in quick as a flash.

"That does sound an adequate solution, however," Shadow reached to the cubby in the wall and pulled out his quill cleanser, handing it to Sonic who had made quick work of the combination of slick and cum stuck to his thighs, "That would require you to actually have the energy for it." He actually had a small smile, cheeky bastard.

Sonic groaned, he turned Shadow to face the back of the shower and wet his quills. They had had this conversation many times, Shadow urging him to talk to his friends about the consequences of absorbing the cyber corruption to save them, to seek help in understanding what was happening to him. He couldn't do that to them, the guilt would weigh so heavy.

"I can handle it, just got to see it through, they all wanted to follow their own paths, it wouldn't be fair of me to saddle them with all this, it will pass eventually," He expertly ran his fingers through Shadow's quills, coating the sharp spines in a thin layer of cleanser, "I'm a survivor, it's what I do."

"Sonic, I never wanted to talk to G.U.N. about my problems, you encouraged me because they had access to all the Project Shadow files, you have helped me every step of my treatments," Shadow turned to face him, taking Sonic by surprise, "So why do you find it so hard to seek out help for yourself when you champion others getting it?"

Sonic was taken aback, he wasn't sure how to navigate this, he had expected Shadow to still be slightly in his heat haze, not thinking totally straight, he never expected to be ambushed like this. Calmly he picked up the shower head from the floor and secured it in it's rightful place, the water hitting and running off them both. Suds ran down Shadow's dark fur and swirled into the drain.

"I, erm, I don't know, guess I just don't want to burden them with this, it was my choice to do what I did, you had everything happen against your will," He paused, shivering slightly under the cool water, "I did this to myself, it's my fault you know?" Sonic wasn't sure he was articulating himself properly, but Shadow took a shaky step closer, a hand resting on a soggy peach cheek.

"You are not a burden either Sonic," Shadow's eyes were crystal clear, he was fully present, "If anyone has earned grace in this world it is you, you deserve to be helped when you need it, when was the last time you did something for yourself?." Shadow closed the space between them and kissed Sonic. Suddenly the water didn't feel so cold, Sonic felt his chest erupt in warmth from the words and action. Shadow pulled away, leaving Sonic the one wanting more.

"I pursued you didn't I?" Sonic responded without thought, Shadow raised a brow and Sonic inhaled, not the best time to joke around, "I know," He whispered, barely audible over the running water, "I know I do." Admitting that felt like it took away a weight he didn't know he was carrying. Shadow actually smiled properly for the first time since… well Sonic couldn't remember.

"So you will go to the fox, get him to run some tests?" He asked, brow still raised, anticipating some push back. Sonic couldn't speak, momentarily overwhelmed by Shadow's care and devotion, an idea flickered into existence.

"As soon as your heat is over I will go talk to Tails, I promise," He said, he held Shadow's hand, rubbing his thumb over black and red knuckles, "On the condition you start coming out the house more, join us at movie nights when they happen and things like that." Sonic could see the words register in Shadow's brain and his immediate reaction of dislike.

"Just why should I do that?"

"Because Shads, you've just been stagnating here for months, too concerned with people seeing you not at your best, it would do you good to socialise and you know the gang wouldn't think any less of you." Sonic started to ruffle Shadow's fur, letting the water rinse through. Shadow seemed to collapse in on himself.

"They won't, but I will," He said, "I'm… I never thought I would have to grieve the person I used to be as well as..." Sonic hugged Shadow close, the water raining down on them, to Sonic it felt like it was washing out the negativity and dissolving the tension in the pair. The heat of Shadow's body helped to stave off the impending shivers.

"I know Shads, but don't forget how far you've come, we'll keep placing one foot in front of the other yeah?" Shadow nodded, burying his nose into Sonic's neck, inhaling deeply. Seems they were already running out of time, "Come on, lets finish up and get you back in our nest." He set about scrubbing over what he could reach of Shadow while he was leaning against him.

Shadow let Sonic manoeuvre him around and sit him back in the shower seat when he was satisfied fur and quills were free from products. He washed himself very quickly and towelled them off. Shadow demanded to be carried back to the bedroom and Sonic gladly obliged, setting Shadow down on the edge of the bed with the other bottle of water while he stripped out the soiled bedding and blankets. It was amazing how much slick and pre cum Shadow produced in this state, it always drenched the fabric making up the nest, it's why Sonic ensured they were stocked up with an over abundance of spares.

A quick trip to the spare room's wardrobe and sweeping up and armful of the stash, hugging it to his body so his scent infused in the fabric. Shadow loved it when he could smell Sonic in the nest. As much as he would deny it later, Shadow trilled at the gift of nesting materials. He eagerly set about tucking and shaping the nest a new, Sonic took a few moments to admire his partner's precise actions. Sonic turned to leave for the kitchen but a questioning noise from Shadow had him turning back.

"Where are you going?" Shadow asked, his tone betraying his concern.

"Just going to clean up the kitchen, I'll be quick as a flash," he shot Shadow a reassuring grin but Shadow narrowed his eyes, ears pinned unconvinced, Sonic had defiantly miscalculated the window of cognisance, "You won't miss me, just carry on." He gestured to the nest and Shadow crawled to the edge, hand held out.

"Stop leaving me, come to bed." Shadow all but begged. Sonic sighed, guess the kitchen wasn't going anywhere and Shadow could have a shake later. He walked up to the edge oh the bed and Shadow lit up, ears perking and tail wagging with a freedom it rarely felt. Sonic couldn't help but smile fondly, this was how Shadow should have been at the start of his heat, needy and keen, not the crying mess he found on the floor. Guilt racked through him, he had failed Shadow.

Yet here Shadow was, grabbing his shoulders and dragging him into the nest that smelt like them, giving little mews and trills that always got Sonic going. He loved this grumpy hedgehog, he loved that he got to see sides of him that no one else got to, even the ugly sides. It was such a thrilling privilege.

Shadow flopped back, legs open, showing off his proud erection and leaking cunt. Sonic couldn't find anywhere else he would want to be right now. He kissed Shadow, feeling lighter than he had in months.

They would always have each other for better or worse, no matter how many times they had to pick up the pieces of themselves.