Chapter Text
"Loki?"
It was the last place Thor would have thought to look. He would not have looked at all if someone had not seen Loki heading toward Broxton, if no one in Broxton had seen Loki for days, and if he had not decided, just this once, to walk the distance and see what he could find. Even then, if he had not heard the distant barking of a dog, he probably would not have veered off the path and found the system of small caves.
Most of them were tiny and unsuited to any purpose, but some were larger and it was upon entering the third that Thor saw the rough-hewn steps leading downward and hoped that he might have accomplished the impossible and located his brother when he did not want to be found.
"Loki, if you are here, I bid you answer me."
He heard the snarl of a dog, recognizable as Thori now that it was bereft of the effects of distance and echo. He followed it to the base of the steps where Loki sat on a small stone ledge, holding a burning stick.
"You were not supposed to find me here," Loki said. His voice was dull and without inflection. "I wish to be alone."
"You vanished," Thor chided, "and then the Mare folk attacked and I feared you were injured, but the All-Mother claimed you had journeyed to Otherworld on a lark. Upon your return, you vanished once more. What was I to think? You worry me."
"You share the interest of many," Loki said. "I worry them all. They wonder what I will do. What dangerous tricks I have prepared with my stick of great burning…"
He raised the stick, its tip little more than embers, and waved it about lazily.
"Why must you twist my words?" Thor said. "You worry me for I have fear for you, not of you. You do not alleviate these fears. May I sit?"
Loki shrugged and Thor took a seat beside him on the ledge.
"May I ask as well your plans for the fire stick?"
"I wished to teach Thori to fetch," Loki said. "He was not amenable."
"Murder! Kill! Deathripper will not be cowed," howled Thori. "Death to the tyrant!"
Normally this would be Thor's cue to laugh and, indeed, the thought of teaching Thori anything was amusing even without the hound's commentary. However, Loki spoke quietly, earnestly, without the slightest hint of humour, and this was sobering.
In fact, he was surprisingly withdrawn and not in the sense of having something to hide. If anything, Thor thought his little brother's expression was more open and guileless now than it had ever been. It was also frighteningly empty as though Loki did not care who knew his thoughts for he had no thoughts to share.
"I was not aware these caves were here," Thor said cautiously. "This one is rather pleasant. I notice a fire pit, some mats, jars, and books. Do you come here often?"
"It is a dirty great hole in the ground," Loki said somewhat ruefully. "I came here sometimes to get away from Asgardia. It was a good place to think."
"Was, but no longer?"
Loki shrugged a second time. "It does not hold the same meaning."
He used the blackened end of the stick to trace lines on the floor of the cave. They were random lines, listlessly drawn without rhyme or reason. Periodically, Thori tried to bite the stick and set it on fire again. Loki admonished him, but there was no heat it in or any care at all.
Thor was worried now. His brother sounded odd and acted strangely, although he could not place a finger on the how or why.
"Are you still troubled by others in Asgardia?" Thor asked him.
"Yes, always," Loki told him matter-of-factly. "They like me not, but never have, and so it makes no difference to me."
Thor thought it must, but let the answer stand.
"Did something happen on your sojourn to the Otherworld?"
"No. Should it have?" Loki said. "I wished to see the Queen, but I did not. This saddened me, but it is not the end of the world. Perhaps it is jetlag. I have been rather tired since my return."
"Perhaps," Thor allowed. "Come home and rest."
Loki shook his head. "I… I do not wish to be in Asgardia at this time."
"You cannot sleep in this cave. The night will be cold and there are wild animals."
"I fear not the cold," Loki said and Thor had to admit this was reasonable. Loki was kin to frost giants and adapted easily to low temperatures. "Nor do I fear wild animals. I have Thori."
"Deathripper!" snarled the beast.
"Thori," Loki insisted. He dropped his stick and bent down to scoop the Hel-pup into his arms, ignoring the beast's attempts to singe his eyebrows. "You will be a good dog. You must be."
"Death to the tyrant! Swallow his entrails!" Thori snapped, but the threat petered out into a whine. Evidently, Loki's strange mood disturbed even him.
"Even so," Thor said. "You seem unwell. I cannot leave you here alone."
For a long time, Loki said nothing. He merely held Thori and scratched his ears, much to the Hel-pup's consternation.
"What do you intend to do then?" he said at last.
"I do not know," Thor admitted. "I could simply pick you up and carry you back. There is little you could do to stop me, but I do not feel it would be right. However, I cannot let you stay here alone, nor can I stay the night here."
"You are in a bind it seems," Loki said, but offered nothing more.
"If I were to stay until you slept, would you consent to my carrying you home then?" Thor asked. "You might stay in my chamber. No one need know you are there."
"If you so decide, there's naught I can do," Loki told him.
"But do you consent?"
Thor bent his head to look at his little brother, but Loki refused to meet his eyes. Instead he buried his face in Thori's fur and held fast as the Hel-pup tried to wriggle away.
"No, I do not consent. How inelegant that would be," Loki said, voice muffled. "More fuel for my peers and my detractors. They will ask if you should like a bassinet in which to keep me. But…" Here Loki trailed off and looked up hesitantly. "But if you should do so against my will, I would not be angry. It is an insult I can forgive."
Thor smiled. Here, at last, was a hint of the brother he knew. Though he seemed vaguely distracted, such wordplay was Loki's trade. That he had not abandoned it entirely was reassuring in its way.
He raised his hand and cupped it around the back of Loki's head, rubbing his scalp and his neck through the tight black hood. Loki did not protest, nor did he lean into the touch. He simply accepted it as it was given. Thori struggled free and bounded across the cave, howling insults, but merely flopped down on the stone when he was safely out of reach as though his remonstrations were all for show.
"And where will you sleep, brother?" Thor said.
"On a mat, I suppose. It is their intended purpose."
Thor was surprised. "Truly? Have you slept out here before?"
Loki laughed, but the sound rang hollow and false.
"Of course not. Could you imagine Asgardia on the night I was not accounted for? She would be wild with flights of fancy regarding what mischief I might precipitate. As it is, I made sure everyone thought I was in Broxton although I do not know if this illusion will last the night."
"Is it wise, then, to hide you in my chambers?" Thor said.
"Of course! Imagine their reaction when I am found nearby," Loki replied in a fair imitation of good humour.
He grew quiet again and drew his knees up to this chest, hooking his heels on the lip of the ledge. One arm he hooked around them, the other he used to pillow his chin and slumped a little to lean up against Thor.
"Brother," he said, "I speak in jest, but truly I care not about Asgardia's reaction. I feel heavy and sleepy and unhappy and afraid. I do not wish to see them or speak with them. I only wish to be alone and yet…not alone."
Thor frowned and tightened his hold, drawing the boy closer. "What have you to fear?"
Loki snorted. "Asgardia? My peers? My…self? I know not. I know only that I do not like the feel of things, brother. I worry."
"Do not," Thor chided gently. "Allow me to worry for you."
"It is not so easy."
Thor sighed. "I suppose not. Even so, please try. We started out badly, you and I. I called you back and then left you, though it was not my intent. You have become mysterious and secretive. I wished better for you. Do your worries make you unhappy?"
"I…I know not," Loki said, huddling against his brother. "I understand none of this. I only… Please, no more talk. I am very tired. I only wish to be alone, but with you, now that you are here. Do I make sense?"
"I think so," Thor replied. "Shall I sit here quietly with you?"
"Please," Loki murmured.
Thor shifted his position and leaned back a little, allowing Loki to curl up against him, supporting the boy with his arm. With his free hand, he unfastened his cloak, pulled it loose, and draped it over Loki's body. The boy mildly protested the warmth, but settled quickly and accepted it, allowing it to lull him into a drowsing state.
Thor sat patiently, taking deep, regular breaths, and rubbing Loki's back and shoulders through the cloak. He did not speak, took care not to make a single sound, until Loki's breathing matched his own and the child's body grew limp and heavy.
Thor waited a while longer and then gathered his brother into his arms, wrapping the cloak more tightly around him as he did so. Loki did not stir, but uttered the small sighs and whimpers of dreams disturbed and Thor soothed him by rubbing his neck and the back of his knees. When Loki was suitably calm, Thor stood, cradling his brother in his arms, and approached Thori, who was sulking at the far end of the cavern.
"You will come with me," Thor ordered, "and you will come peacefully. You will stay by my brother, and you will obey him, or so help me you will taste my hammer. Are we agreed?"
Thori spat flame and vile oaths until Thor knelt before him and, balancing Loki on his knee, reached for his weapon. Thori snarled, but quieted, and shrank back. Thor released the hammer and grabbed the hound by the scruff of the neck, depositing him in Loki's lap before lifting them both and leaving the cave.
With his arms encumbered, Thor was unable to use Mjölnir and could not travel as easily as he wished, so he did all he could do and walked.