Archive of Our Own

“Can we talk?”

At first, Jax thinks she means talk about him. About their fight. The way he hurt her so badly that she nearly turned the gun on herself. The things he said before he finally walked away, locking himself in his room. Punching the wall until Caine finally stopped resetting his broken fingers and bleeding knuckles, waiting until Jax cried himself to sleep.

But when he sees everyone else with Pomni, Jax knows it’s not about him.

He doesn’t know anything about a Chinese room. But he does have a bucket full of keys, so he shoves that at Pomni and says, “Knock yourself out.” He turns around, about to close the door, when her voice stops him.

“Don’t you want to come with us?”

With the people who hate his guts? No, not really. 

But he also doesn’t want to be alone. Not after…that dream. If it even was a dream. 

“This could be our chance to finally leave this all behind.”

He knows she’s talking about the mafia. But he wants to believe that includes the fight. He wants to believe that leaving the mafia will fix everything, allow him to move on from the friends he lost and be able to care about the people he still has. If he can get back to the real world, maybe he can stop being the character everyone hates and just…

Well. Maybe that will never change. But it’s worth a shot, right?

—

From the moment Abel starts talking in the Chinese room, Jax doesn’t believe him.

His big reveal sounds like something right out of a sci-fi movie. But aside from that, Abel’s plan to evade Caine makes no sense. Caine isn’t just their boss, he’s the AI running this entire world. How could anything get past him? They were talking about escaping before they even got into the Chinese room, so wouldn’t that have gotten Caine’s attention? Aren’t they doomed from the start?

Abel sighs when Jax points this out, raking a hand through his short hair. “Trying to explain would be getting very…technical. Caine has the power to listen in, but that doesn’t mean he is listening in.” He gestures to Pomni. “You remember how Caine didn’t come right away when Kauf–”

“Because he wasn’t interested,” Jax cuts in, not in the mood to remember that. “That’s what you’re getting at, right? Well, I can’t think of anything more interesting than–” 

“Jax, shut it,” Zooble hisses. Their real eye narrows while the prosthetic one stays wide open, something that Jax would normally find funny. “The more time we waste arguing, the more likely Caine is to notice where we are. We only need you for one thing.”

“Getting the exit key from Caine’s office,” Abel says. “I can get you in there, but you’re the only one who can get out safely, Jax.”

Jax raises an eyebrow. “And why is that?”

“Because you’re Caine’s favorite. If you get caught, you can come up with some excuse and he’ll believe you. I’m sure of it.”

“Wait, wait. Lemme get this straight.” He puts his hands up, not sure if he should be flattered or insulted. It’s leaning closer to the latter. “You want me to do this ‘cause you think Caine trusts me?”

“Well…” Abel flounders, eyes darting away. “He trusts that you won’t betray him. I mean, out of everyone here, you complain the least about the assignments. And I know he’s been wanting to train you as his underboss, so that has to mean something.”

Jax stares at him, now stunned. “He has?”

“Even if he doesn’t fall for it,” Zooble interrupts, clearly losing patience, “he’ll go easier on you than the rest of us. And don’t you think you kind of owe us this after everything you’ve done to make our lives more miserable?”

“Jax,” Pomni says, tone placating. “You have the most experience with this kind of thing. I know you can help us.”

Jax looks down at her warily, lips pressed in a tight line. He doesn’t trust this and he certainly doesn’t trust himself not to fuck it all up, like he always seems to do with or without trying. But when Pomni gives him a small, reassuring smile, he can’t quite crush that flicker of hope before the next words leave his mouth.

“Alright. Where do I find the exit key?”

Caine’s office is much bigger than Jax is expecting. But then again, what was he expecting? An old-fashioned study? Caine wasn’t limited by money or space, he could come up with anything he wanted. Like a long hallway full of glass globes, each one holding a virtual world within this game. Jax recognized most of them. He only stops to look at one: a small cabin surrounded by snow, filled with familiar voices.

He turns away quickly, focusing on the assignment.

The hallway leads into a separate room. This one actually is like a study, except the bookshelves seem to stretch on forever, disappearing into an inky black ceiling scattered with tiny stars. Most things seem to be floating, save for the large mahogany desk in the center. Exactly where the exit key is supposed to be.

Swallowing down his nerves, Jax gets on his knees and crawls under. Abel said the key should be in a secret compartment, one activated by touch. He slides his gloved hands across the wood on both sides, slowly, making sure he doesn’t miss a spot and staying in a straight line. When he feels nothing after the first pass, he moves down just an inch and slides his hands back the other way, like a game of snake. 

He bites his lip in concentration, waiting to feel something pop out. Or a groove, an indent in the wood, something that he could press or pull. Then, he feels it: a spot towards the bottom uneven with the rest of the wood. He memorizes where the spot is before turning his attention to it, twirling his finger as Abel instructed.

The compartment slides out. 

Jax grins, about to claim his prize, until he sees what’s inside. A note, not a key. Thinking that it might lead him to it, or give him some idea of where the key went, Jax takes the note out and unfolds it.

When he does, his blood runs cold.

This item has been removed from the game.

From the game. Did that mean Caine knew what they were planning? Or did Caine plan this game for them? That’s exactly what he thought! This was all a trick. It was too easy, too convenient for there to suddenly be a room that Caine can’t listen in on, for there to be a human disguised as an NPC. As if that would ever slip under Caine’s radar!

He puts the note back, forcing the panic down. Maybe it’s not that. Maybe…maybe there’s more than one compartment. Or that Abel didn’t know the key was removed. He wants to believe it. God, he wants to believe it.

But more searching confirms that there is no other compartment. At least, not here. Jax sighs and crawls backwards, standing up once he’s out from under the desk.

“Whatcha doing there, Jax?”

Jax freezes, eyes blown wide. 

Caine is right behind him.

Fuck.

He turns around as smoothly as he can, plastering a big smile on his face. “Heeey, Caine. Didn’t know you had such a cool office! Now that you’re back, maybe you could, uh, give me a proper tour.”

How the hell is he going to play this off? He can’t, right? Nobody is supposed to have access to Caine’s office, not even Jax. He should just spill everything right now, about Abel, about the plan to escape. Especially if Caine might already know about it.

But he still finds himself committing. Still isn’t ready to let that glimmer of hope fade out, to let down everyone depending on him. He wants to bring that damn key back and rub it in Zooble’s screwed up face that now they owe him. He wants to see Pomni smile, to show that he can take things seriously. To prove to himself that he’s more than just his archetype.

He wants it so bad, it’s hard to accept that it’s not going to happen. 

Not when Caine smiles and says, “Hmm…no.”

Jax’s smile wavers. “Oh, darn. Maybe another ti–hngh!” 

A harsh zap from his shock collar cuts him off. He grinds his teeth through the pain, muscles spasming to the point of his legs giving out. Before he can collapse, Caine catches him by the waist with one hand, bringing their faces close together.

Caine says, “I can give you something else though.” As he turns Jax around and puts a hand between his shoulders, pushing Jax down until his chest is on the desk. Jax swallows thickly, knowing better than to try escaping the older man’s hold.

Now would be a good time to start sucking up to him.

“Caine–ahh!” A sharp smack to his rear makes him yelp. His face starts to burn as Caine works on taking off his suspenders, letting them hang uselessly at the younger man’s sides. Probably to expose more skin for the caning. “I-I mean, boss, I can explain! I was just playing along to–”

“I know what you were doing, Jax,” is the disappointed response. Jax feels his shirt being pushed up to his chest, just below his scars. The sudden cool air on his lower back makes him shudder. “I’m the one who set this game up!”

Having his suspicions confirmed should be vindicating. But all Jax really feels is sick to his stomach, knowing that it was all a lie. That he was going to get punished for going along with this stupid idea and that nobody would care because hey, he deserves it.

“I had just hoped you wouldn’t go through with it. You’re my favorite, after all.”

“Yeah, so I’ve heard,” Jax grits out. He squeezes his eyes shut when his belt is unbuckled, flinching at the sound of it dropping on the floor. “Everyone thinks you’ll go easy on me ‘cause of it. If you’re going to prove them wrong, just get it over with.”

His pants are next to go, slowly unbuttoned and pushed down his trembling legs, pooling around his ankles. Jax flushes all over, embarrassed. Where he would like to be wearing boxers is actually pastel pink panties, since Caine decides what everyone wears, underwear and all. Usually he can just ignore them, but not when Caine has him on display like this. 

He tries closing his legs, to keep some of his dignity, but the brass head of Caine’s stick stops him. He jolts when it gets squeezed between his thighs, instantly spreading them again to avoid the cold metal. 

“I don’t want to hurt you, Jax.” 

Jax makes a face. “Uh, you have. Many times.”

“That was before I took such a liking to you!” 

The brass taps the inside of his thigh. Jax spreads his legs wider with a grimace, uncertainty rising. “Then…what are you doing, boss?”

The last time he was bent over like this, Caine’s stupid oversized hand spanked him until his ass was throbbing. But that hand hasn’t touched him at all. Just the firm hands of his boss, now tugging down the panties to join his pants. Jax’s stomach twists, painfully aware of what Caine can see between his long legs.

Would–would Caine really go that far? Or is he just trying to psyche him out?  

Caine’s sigh tickles the back of his neck. God, why is he so close? “Well, I can’t let this go unpunished, Jax. Otherwise you would just betray me again in the future!”

He sees a white glove get tossed on the desk in front of him. Then a second glove. Caine’s gloves. Jax’s body acts on its own and tries to stand up straight, but all Caine needs is one hand to hold him down, fingers splayed across the younger man’s back. Even trying to push himself up with his hands doesn’t work. All they can do is uselessly scrabble at the desk as the brass head touches his inner thigh and slides up.

Jax’s eyes go wide, unable to deny what’s happening.

“W-Wait! Ca–boss, please, don’t do th–is!” His voice cracks when the head finds his cunt, spread between his legs and twitching anxiously. It rubs over his folds before pressing down on his clit, a shock of cold that has Jax yelping and squirming to get away. “S-Stop!”

“Don’t worry, it will warm up soon enough,” Caine says, almost soothingly.

And it does. It absorbs more of Jax’s heat as it glides up and down, enough pressure to stimulate all of the sensitive nerves there. His pleas for Caine to stop are interrupted by little gasps, his writhing only making it worse. Sweat beads on the back of his neck. Now, he’s hardly just flushed from embarrassment, and his body’s reaction has him ducking his head in shame, purple bangs falling over his eyes.

As soon as he does, a gloved hand tilts his chin up, one clearly not attached to Caine. 

Jax grits his teeth, biting down his own pathetic noises.  He thought he would be safe from this given Caine’s whole thing against profanity and sex, but apparently not. Is it because he’s the favorite? Or would anyone else in his position–fuck, he doesn’t even want to finish that thought. 

“See? No one’s getting hurt here,” Caine tells him, making the hand pat Jax on the head. Jax tries to bite it, but the warm brass rubbing his clit distracts him, having to choke down a moan instead. “Now, I know everyone’s waiting for you, so let’s not have them wait for nothing!”

Jax is afraid to ask what that means. He closes his eyes and braces himself for Caine’s dick in him. That’s gotta be next, right? Maybe that will hurt. At this point, he hopes it will; he’s been trained to deal more with pain than he has this.

“Look to your left, Jax.”

Jax almost doesn’t. But the fear of pissing Caine off further wins out over spite and he opens his eyes, turning his head to the left. The only thing he can see is a big red button, one that definitely wasn’t there before.

“That’s what I use to make my announcements,” Caine explains, rubbing circles into Jax’s back with his thumb. With the hand keeping him trapped. “All I do is press the button and then everyone can hear me over the intercom. Pretty nifty, right?”

Jax has no idea where this is going. “Uhh…yeah. R-Right,” he stammers, caught off guard by another jolt of heat. God, just don’t let him get wet. He knows it’s been years, but he is not getting wet right now.

He can hear the grin in Caine’s voice when he says, “And so is this!”

The brass head brushes up against his clit before going still.

And then it starts buzzing.

Jax nearly chokes on his own spit, eyes bulging. He thrashes around as if he were getting shocked, using all of his meager strength to pull Caine’s hand, any of his hands, away from him. But all that achieves are two floating hands pinning his wrists down on the desk and grabbing his ankles to keep his legs from kicking.

“No,” he gasps out, voice straining into a whimper. “No–no–stop–please–” 

The brass head–toy–fucking–vibrator thing just strokes him, igniting his nerves. He’s mortified to feel himself getting wet, his resolve to stay quiet breaking as the vibrations are cranked up and centered right on his swollen clit. 

“N-Nggghhh–!”

“Wowie,” he hears Caine say, voice tinged with awe and something a little darker. A little more human, even as he says, “You humans sure are sensitive.”

“F-Fu–aaaugh!” The shock collar stops him from finishing that word.

He can’t stop his hips from lifting and rocking back, his neglected pussy desperate for more vibrations. As they get stronger, as the toy rubs his poor clit in tight circles, Jax’s mouth falls open, unable to hold back his pitiful whining. Even so, he never stops begging for it to end, reminding himself over and over again that he doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want this–

Suddenly, the toy moves away. 

Jax blinks tears out of his eyes, trying to catch his breath. As he does, Caine turns his head with his own hand, until the younger man meets his heterochromatic eyes and pearly white smile.

“You want me to stop, right?”

Jax can only nod as much as Caine allows him to.

“Then beg for more.”

Jax blinks in confusion. Until he sees Caine reach across the desk and it becomes perfectly clear what his boss is expecting of him, when his finger holds down the red button.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He can’t–he can’t let the others hear–

But if he doesn’t, will Caine ever stop? Will he just keep Jax here indefinitely, finding more tricks up his sleeve to torment Jax with? Or will he hit the button while Jax begs him for mercy? God, that’s even worse. He could never look them in the eye if they knew how fucking weak he was. Already, his tears are starting to spill over at the thought that this is the choice he has to make.

As if reading his thoughts, Caine flips the toy back on at what feels like the highest level, making Jax shriek. Fingers clawing at the desk, he slams his forehead against the wood with a wretched sob.

“M-More! Please–please, I need more!”

It only takes a few minutes to work him up again. The vibrations weaken just long enough to give Jax a break. Long enough for Jax to put on a sickening performance of please don’t stop, words forced out between moans and whimpers. He refuses to say Caine’s name. Not like it matters; everyone would be able to guess who he was whoring himself out too.

Caine takes his finger off the button. Jax breathes a sigh of relief. Except now, the toy is replaced with said finger, easing in slowly with a wet squelch. Jax cries out, only able to weakly squirm as it slides in and out, opening him up.

He feels Caine’s knuckle press against him, as far as he can go. And then that single thick finger is curling, reaching a spot that has Jax arching with a sharp cry. Just what Caine needs to get him rocking into his hand, whining and pleading–

“Ahh, ah, ahh–C-Caine, please, I can’t–!”

His mind is going numb, his body and words out of his control. But he still manages to hear Caine say, almost lovingly, “Say you’ll never leave me, Jax. I’ll believe you. I’ll forgive you.”

That’s what Jax needs, more than being able to cum. Caine’s forgiveness. Because he’s the favorite one and he fucked up. He knew this was a trap. Knew that Caine would never let them escape. And if they can never escape, he has to do whatever he can to stay on Caine’s good side, to keep his special privileges, to be wanted by someone–

“I-I’ll never leave,” he sobs, screaming when Caine thrusts hard. “I’ll never leave you, Caine, I swear, I promise! Please–please don’t be mad–”

He doesn’t want this. But he wants Caine’s approval, Caine’s pride in him, Caine’s affection for him. That’s really why the punishments hurt. It’s not the pain, it’s Caine’s disappointment, echoing exactly how everyone else feels about him. It’s letting down Caine that hurts the most.

Tears blur his vision. “I’m sorry.” He hasn’t said it until now. He’s been so scared about his punishment that he didn’t even think to apologize. “I-I’m sorry, boss, I really am.”

Caine tilts his head up, kissing the fresh bruise on his forehead.

“I know, bunny. I forgive you.”

That’s all it takes to send Jax over the edge. His body spasms as he cums, cunt clenching around Caine’s finger. And for a blissful moment, he’s just gone. Eyes rolled back, slumped forward, panting through his orgasm. 

But the high never lasts forever. And coming back down, the weight of everything that just happened comes with him, heavy and cold.

Caine just raped him. Everyone just heard Jax begging their boss to keep raping him. And he didn’t have an exit key to show for his efforts. Nothing that he could bring back as proof that he had only done it for their escape plan.

Free of Caine’s hands now, he pulls himself up and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, sniffling as he gets everything back on. Fuck. He feels so stupid.

“Oh, that’s right! I said I was going to give you something.”

Jax cringes, reluctantly turning around. He doesn’t know if he can handle whatever Caine has in store for him now. He just wants this to be over. To go break the bad news to the others. Or just go straight to his room and let them come to their own conclusions. That would be easier and then he wouldn’t have to face Pomni. God, he couldn’t face Pomni, not like this–

That thought is cut short by a shiny gold key, held out to him by Caine.

Jax struggles to form words. “But…you said this was…”

“All a game? Well, yeah, but only you know that!” Caine beams at him, like he didn’t just put Jax through absolute hell. “This is where the game gets interesting, Jax.”

The last thing Jax wants is interesting. 

“You’re going to give them the key. You worked hard for it, after all.” Caine winks, taking Jax’s hand and opening it up to put the key in. Jax can’t feel his fingers. “And then everyone will need to make a choice. If they choose to stay, they win the game!”

Jax forces his hand to close around the key. 

“And if they don’t?”

“If they don’t,” Caine says, lightly, “everyone will be punished except you. Because you knew the truth all along and don’t deserve to be punished for their mistakes. That’s a lesson that they will have to learn, unfortunately.”

Which means they’ll know Jax let them choose the wrong answer.

Jax steps back, nearly losing his footing. Because his legs are shaking, or because he can’t tell where the floor is? He doesn’t know. The room feels smaller than before. Caine is the only thing that remains the same, standing there with an expectant smile.

A laugh bubbles up in Jax’s throat. It hurts coming out.

“Right. I’m on it, boss.”

It takes more time to compose himself than he’d like to admit. But once Jax is sure that his clothes are in place and his hair is slicked back, he meets the group waiting for him with a smile plastered on, walking in easy strides.

The first thing he does is hold up the key. 

“This was not easy to get, just so you all know.”

All of them suck at hiding it. Gangle flushes all over, awkwardly looking at everything except him. Ragatha leans back in disgust. Zooble, of course, is the only one to voice what they’re all thinking. “Didn’t sound that hard for you.”

Abel coughs. “Right. Well. Thank you, Jax, I’ll take tha–”

“Did you mean it?”

Pomni’s the one who asks, staring at Jax intensely. He can’t make out exactly how she feels about it; she’s always been harder to place. 

He decides to play dumb. “Mean what?”

“Saying that you would never leave.”

Jax’s smile cracks. 

His heart sinks through his ribs, through the floor, down to the basement where he truly belongs. He can barely get the words out through the tight knot in his throat. 

“You…heard that?”

“We all heard it,” Ragatha says, strained. “You must have pressed something–”

Her voice doesn’t reach him, drowned out by the sound of blood rushing in his ears. His blood. His pulse speeding up like it wants to run away. Honestly, he doesn’t blame it. He wants nothing more than to just drop the key and run until his legs give out. 

A hand on his wrist snaps him back to the present. Instinctively, he yanks his hand away, only feeling bad when he realizes it was Pomni’s hand. But maybe that’s for the best; she shouldn’t be touching someone filthy like him.

“No,” he says, unable to stop it from sounding hollow. “I just said what I had to.”

He hardly sounds like he believes it. Does he? 

His change in demeanor must be what persuades them, because Pomni turns to give the others this sort of ‘see? he’s still on our side’ look. Which is almost enough to make Jax tell her she’s wrong and that they should just go on without him. But he knows Caine expects him to be there and he can’t let Caine down twice.

He hands the key to Abel. The other three exchange looks before following Abel, so Jax starts to do the same. Until he’s stopped by Pomni, who tells the others that Jax is going to go with her to get Kinger.

Oh, yeah. The old bat wasn’t with them, was he?

“Hey,” Pomni says, getting his attention. He looks down at her. “I’m sure you don’t want to talk about it, but…thank you. For helping us out. I’m sorry it came to that.”

It should feel good to be thanked by her. But the pity in her eyes has him drawing back with a sneer, failing to stomp down the surge of anger. “Did you think it would?” It would be easier if she did. Easier to brush off these pesky thoughts that she’s different from the others. 

“I did,” Pomni says, and somehow Jax still manages to be surprised. “But you’ve said before that if you can handle what Caine puts us through, so can everyone else. I’d do the same thing if it meant escaping this place.”

Well, there’s his answer. Shouldn’t he be mad at her now?

Why is he laughing instead?

“Easy to say that when it wasn’t you,” he says, more playful than biting. In some fucked up way, he appreciates the honesty more. He feels better knowing that even if she pities him, she doesn’t underestimate him. Doesn’t see him as weak.

The corner of Pomni’s mouth curves. “I know. I owe you a beer when we get out of here. Unless you’re too much of a lightweight for that,” she teases.

Jax’s chest feels tight. “Pomni,” he starts to say.

This isn’t real. Caine told me that this is all a trick. If you choose to leave, you’ll be punished, so we have to make the right choice. We all have to choose to stay.

But the words don’t come out. His entire body goes still as if buffering, like he’s just hesitating to speak. Pomni frowns in concern and asks, “What is it, Jax?”

He can’t tell her.

He physically can’t tell her.

Caine really has thought of everything.

“I’ll–” I’m so sorry. “I’ll take you up on that,” he says, cracking a smile.

She returns it with a small smile of her own. “Come on. Let’s go get Kinger.”

This is it. 

The console is right there with two buttons. Red for right, blue for wrong. Jax knows it. Jax is the only one who knows it. And now he has to stand there while everyone thinks they’re about to go home, playing right into Caine’s hands.

Pomni, at least, hesitates. She blocks the console with her body as she pleads with Zooble to wait. They should go over what they know and bring it to a vote after that. 

Their voices become hazy in Jax’s mind, barely catching the words.

Why would Caine–

I don’t know, but–

Don’t we all–

They’re not going to stay.

No matter how long it takes to choose, they’re going to choose wrong.

He doesn’t realize how heavily he’s breathing until he touches his throat, fingers cold and clammy against the warm metal of the shock collar. It reminds him of his place. Of the role he’s supposed to play. Just play your role, Jax. 

Everyone here has been punished before. Jax has punished most of them, at Caine’s command. Why is this any different? Why does he care? Why the fuck does he care?

Everyone hates him. He hates them. He should hate all of them, but Pomni–

Pomni’s still new. Pomni is the only one that Caine hasn’t had Jax torture. Pomni doesn’t look at Jax and see the wild look in his eyes as he carves into her, doesn’t hear his sadistic laughter as she screams in agony. Pomni nearly shot herself because Jax would move on if she abstracted.

Jax needs her to hate him. Needs to accept that he can’t be close to her or anyone here. And this is the perfect way to do that, right? To prove that he’s just Caine’s loyal pet. That there’s nothing more to him.

But then why is he running forward?

Why is he pushing Pomni out of the way?

Why is he willing to step out of his role for her?

He slams his hand down on the red button. It’s shaking. He’s shaking. But now he can breathe again, knowing that it’s over. Caine said if they choose right, they would win, and then everyone would know it was a game. Caine would come on that screen and congratulate them for making the right choice.

He hears Ragatha’s horrified voice behind him.

“What did you just do?”

The screen is still red. 

Jax turns his head, taking in their shocked faces.

“I–”

“Ah, so that’s where my key went!”

Everyone’s heads whip up as Caine appears on the huge screen, pearly white smile in place. The exit key in the console untwists itself and disappears, making the platform lower back into the floor. Caine lifts his hand, now holding the key.

“I should have destroyed this thing a long time ago,” he says, as if the thought just hadn’t occurred to him until now. In a flash, the key bursts into flames, burning to ashes in Caine’s gloved hand. “Good thing you stopped everyone, Jax!”

Wait.

No.

That’s not–

That’s not what he thought Caine would say.

“Are you telling me,” Zooble says, rage building in their voice, “that we actually would have escaped if Jax didn’t press the red button?”

“Unfortunately, yes. But now that I know about this little oversight–”

No. No, no, this is not happening. This is not happening. Caine said they would win the game. Why isn’t he telling them that? Why the fuck isn’t he telling them that?

“You,” Jax chokes out. “You dirty–”

His words devolve into a scream as electricity crackles against his skin, hot enough to burn flesh. He drops to his knees gasping, struggling just to stay conscious, twitching through the aftershocks.

“Now, now. You did nothing wrong, Jax! If anything, you deserve a reward.”

“I can’t believe it,” Ragatha says, still in shock. “You…you actually…”

“I fucking knew it,” Zooble snarls, grunting when their shock collar zaps them for the cuss word. “I knew you would screw everything up. You said it yourself while getting Caine’s key. You don’t even want to leave!”

Jax can’t even respond. Doesn’t know how. He wants to scream at Caine, wants to tell everyone the truth, and he can’t. Caine won’t let him. 

“I–” He tries again, ashamed to feel his face getting wet. “I–”

Pomni asks Caine, clearly trying to keep it together, “Are…are we going to be punished for trying to leave?”

Caine hums. “Well, technically none of you pushed the blue button, so I’ll let it slide! I’m sure this experience has taught you better, right?”

“Gangle, hold me back,” Zooble grinds out.

Jax drops his head. If they come at him, he doesn’t think he has the strength to fight back. Not when it’s taking everything in him to keep from breaking down, sobbing and screaming about how unfair this is. 

If he chose blue, they would be pissed at him for not saying anything. But if he chose red, Caine planned to let them think that all this was real and that Jax sabotaged their chance of escape. If he had just played his role like Caine wanted, he could have avoided the worst outcome. But he just had to try playing hero.

God. How could he be so stupid?

“Alright, that’s enough fun for today! Everyone back to your rooms now.”

He doesn’t look up to watch them leave. Jax just listens to their footsteps and voices as both get farther away, wishing he could just block out everything being said.

“We shouldn’t have trusted him. He’d rather stay here and suck Caine’s di–ouch.”

“I can’t believe…we were so close. Pomni, we were so close–”

“Is…is it true, Kinger? Do you know if that was real?”

“Huh? Oh. Um. Seemed pretty real to me.”

“Do you think…we’ll ever get another chance?”

“I don’t know, Gangle. But if we do, we know who not to tell.”

“Zooble, we don’t know why he–”

Pomni is the last one he hears before the door slams shut.

The screen goes black.

Jax clutches his chest. It hurts. God, it hurts so much, more than a blade twisting inside him. It’s so much worse knowing that for once, he tried to help. He actually tried to help. And look where it got him. Look where it always gets him. 

He’ll always be here, right where Caine wants him.

Doing what Caine wants him to do.

Being who Caine wants him to be.

But that’s what this whole thing is, right? It’s just a game and they know their characters. Why the hell did he think this would be different? Even when he tries to go off script, Caine just writes him into a new one. 

A hand on his shoulder makes Jax flinch, tensing up all over. He knows who it is. He knows Caine is right behind him, rubbing circles through his shirt. The only soft touch that Jax will ever get in this world.

“You did good, bunny,” Caine murmurs in his ear, a smile in his voice. Jax feels his sturdy form above him, trapping him. “Would you like your reward?”

Even now, the praise is like a lifeline, something for Jax to cling to with shaky hands. A rope to pull him out of the darkness, wrapped tight around his neck.

“Just…just tell me why.” He can only manage a whisper. “What’s changed?” 

He doesn’t know how to say it without getting censored. But it seems like Caine knows what he means, because the older man says, “The game has to progress, Jax.”

He gently holds Jax’s chin to tilt his head up. Jax can only look up at him, tears running down his cheeks, wondering if he was staring at the face of God or Satan.

“Trust me,” Caine says, wiping his tears with his thumbs. “It will be easier if you let it happen. I meant what I said about not wanting to hurt you.”

Jax’s lip trembles. 

But suddenly, it all makes sense. It all makes perfect sense and pieces fall into place, broken shards of his mind that form a jagged picture. A sound is scraped out of him, small and raspy. 

Then another.

And another.

And somehow, he’s laughing. His throat is burning and his eyes are shaking and the world has been reduced to Caine’s thick arms wrapping around him, drawing him into their protective cage. Jax is laughing so hard he can barely breathe.

“I know,” he chokes out, still laughing between his teeth. Looking up at Caine with a grin that stretches from ear to ear. “But the game needs to progress. Right, boss?”

That gets him a proud smile and a pat on the head.

“See, Jax? This is why you’re my favorite.”