Chapter Text
Desire. Vyra stepped out of her common room expecting not much more than the low murmurs of the morning castle, instead a familiar face leaned against the barrel, waiting patiently.
“Ominis…”
The name barely left her mouth before closing the distance into his arms with the force of relief. His wand dipping, one arms bracing her back as the other dipped around her shoulders.
For a heartbeat neither spoke nor let go, Ominis let out a breath relaxing his body into her, finally letting out a breath he had been holding for days it seemed.
“I am sorry I had not written you back, my family reads my owls.” He said into her hair, making her pull back slightly.
“Are you alright…I’ve been worried.” A low chuckled escaped his lips, but out of frustration.
“I know….I was to immediately travel home after leaving you for Divination class, with no time to explain, with not many answers to give you currently, other than I was to forced to make public appearances.”
Vyra let Ominis speak while they made their way to the Great Hall, sitting across from her, arm resting on the table, his fingers tracing her sleeve.
“Are you hurt..in any way?” Vyra asked carefully.
While his body tensed, a smile played on his lips.
But Ominis paused, fully taking her in.“No, I am alright.” He paused then. “You…you feel different…colder than when I left you.”
She didnt want to lie to him, especially after been gone for days.
“I have been having frequent nightmares, losing sleep over them.”
She wanted to tell him more, the truth was just one breath away.
“What are these dreams about?” His voice came out slow, careful.
“I dont want to get into details here, perhaps later. But they are instance, dreams so vivid, my mind is failing to understand the difference of reality and a dream.”
His fingers stilled on her sleeve, resting it atop her hand instead.
“I might have a potion remedy that can help with such dreams…” he wanted to say and ask more but thought better to push too much.
“I’d like that.” She said, drinking from her goblet.
“And you’re not leaving anything out?” He asked slowly.
She thought about this for a moment of what he meant. Before assuming on the “who” she was leaving out, as if he already assumed Sebastian was the reason for her restless state.
“No.” She said flatly anyway.
“Good. I have something to take care of tonight, let’s grab a butterbeer tomorrow.”
Ominis reluctantly left her at her common room, forcing himself to go. Promising once more once he will be back, and can owl him if needed.
Poppy and Natty came to collect Vyra early to prepare for the night not long after. By the time they got closer to the slytherin common room did Vyra let her eyes roam, expecting something, someone.
The death day party room was empty of students yet to arrive. Garreth stood by the entrance, hands in pockets waiting for them.
Richard Jackdaw drifted past with another ghost, then abruptly floated sideways, blocking the archway.
“We shall allow you brimming mortals entry,” he intoned, voice echoing hollow. “If…and only if, you provide either music, or a piece of gossip, worthy of death itself.”
Garreth stepped forward, grinning sharply. “I offer both.”
Jackdaw shrieked with delight, spinning as the doorway opened for them, leaving Garreth behind for a moment.
Hundreds of candles hovered above the scattered tales, their flames steady despite the biting cold that clung to the room. Near the back corner, one table lay of Garreths handiwork, cauldrons, vials and loose ingredients.
Garreth joined them once more, guiding Poppy, Natty and Vyra to a table close to his brews.
Poppy disappeared quickly, almost slipping before coming back moments later with Ominis at her side.
“He didn’t want to come,” Poppy said brightly. “Until he heard you would be here.”
Vyra blinked surprised he came, considering he was busy, she reached out to grab his hand, pulling him to sit beside her before he could change his mind.
“I am not regretting being here anymore either.” Ominis grinned at that, taking her hand under the table as they sat.
Meanwhile Poppy shot her a look that said—I am standing right here.
Garreth dropped into the last empty seat, rubbing his hands together.
“Right then. Test potion night.” He excitedly handed out a potion bottle to everyone.
“Now this concoction is a hybrid drink I created to recreate the same effects from firewhiskey without the headache, and too much of the dizziness. Emjoy!”
Concerned looks and grunts were given all around before they all, slowly put the bottles to their mouths.
“To terrible ideas!” Garreth rose his bottle in the air, everyone following his lead, nervously.
Regret struck instantly. Vyra bent forward, one hand braced on the table as pain flared behind her eyes. Natty hissed. Poppy groaned. Ominis swore quietly, rare enough that Vyra grinned through the pain, squeezing his shoulder.
After some time, Natty chimed in. “Am I suppose to feel something other than a quick surge of pain Garreth?”
Garreth chuckled nervously, while rummaging through his brews as he gathered more bottles. Then paused, realization dawning as his gaze flicked to Vyra briefly then back to one particular potion.
“I might have accidentally given one of you the body double potion….or myself!”
A collective groaned surged around the table. “Garreth you have to be joking.” Poppy spat, exhaling.
“But none of you have doubled, so we just keep a close eye tonight, but for compensation, here is another round!”
They all stared at the next round, drinking it quickly, knowing it can’t get any worse.
Ominis coughed pointedly, tightening his grip around Vyras hand to draw her attention.
“I fortunately need to get going,” he said quietly. “Don’t take any more of his brews tonight. I will be back later with the sleeping draught I promised.”
Vyra hugged him goodbye once more, grateful he too was unable to go too long without seeing her.
Poppy and Naty watched their interaction, grins tugging at their mouths, before they slumped, frowning behind Vyra, instantly.
That was when Vyra understood why Ominis had left to quickly.
A looming presence stood beside her, she looked up to see Sebastian looming over the now empty seat. His presence was sharp, immediate.
His eyes swept over the table, lingering on unmarked potion bottle. His jaw ticked, eyes narrowing, as it shifted to notice Vyras flushed face.
“What is this?” Looking to Garreth.
“Test night,” Garreth replied without glancing up. “Volunteers only.” He held out a potion bottles for him.
“She drank that?” Sebastian snapped.
Poppy and Natty gave one another looks, curious on why he was so upset, centered on Vyra.
Garreth only shrugged. “She helped brew them in a way.”
Sebastian turned to Vyra, expression flat. “You could grow a third head.”
They all began to feel it then…the brew settling in. In the short time since Omnis had left and Sebastian had appeared, Vyras chest had warmed, her thoughts growing pleasantly light, as though something heavy had quietly lifted from her, anxiety no longer lingering over her confidence.
She grinned back at Sebastian, unexpectedly, keeping control of a laugh.
“I would have to grow a second head first.”
Laughter immediately rippled through the table, the others seemingly feeling the effects as well, unable to stop themselves. Vyras own giggle slipped free, soft, genuine. Unfamiliar even to herself.
Garreth held up a hand at that. “Oh, on a quick note. Slight side effect, temporarily I am sure but none of you will have the ability to lie.”
They all looked at him, seemingly wanting to be angry but only grins remained.
Poppy seized the moment, feeling more confident herself, looking to Garreth.
“Garreth…do you consider yourself a master portioner?”
“Yes,” he said firmly, unable to stop himself. “Please stop….”
Suddenly from there no one was able to keep their grins in check, even as they glared at Sebastian near Vyra.
Garreth glanced between them both, considering something.
He leaned in, eyes gleaming.
“Alright,” Gareth said. “Since honesty is mandatory and consequences are… theoretical.” His eyes drifted to Vyra.
“Vyra…you first…honest opinions of us all?”
Poppy groaned. “Garreth….”
But he waved her off. “No no this is for science purposes.”
The group managed to quiet their laughs, attention going toward Vyra instantly, waiting in suspense.
“Vyra…what is your honest opinion of Sallow?”
She licked her lips, drawing out the bottom lip, poundering this question.
“He is clever…ambitious. A little intimidating in a quiet sort of way.”
Garreth tilted his head, not finished. “And physically?” He pressed leaning closer.
She glanced at Sebastian still looming above, eyes narrowed.
“Light skin, amber eyes….short dark brown hair, almost red tint in the sun….”
Sebastian smirked. Garreth stared, waving his hand in the air. “And, what else?”
Vyra considered. “He pretends not to notice others, but he is very aware, especially when they are uncomfortable.”
Sebastian stared off, shifting.
“Interesting, please continue, what more about Sebastian do we not know about?,” Garreth said, interested.
“He’s lonely.” That landed harder than anything else, his chest feeling the blow.
Sebastians jaw ticked once, breathing in deeply, not looking at her.
Garreth shifted, grin faltering just a touch, while Natty stared down not meeting anyone’s eyes.
Poppy’s eyes flickered between them.
“Is that so?” Garreth asked narrowing his eyes.
“Yes, but not in a pathetic way, like he doesn’t trust happiness not to leave.”
Garreth continued. “And do you like him?”
Sebastian cut in sharply. “Garreth.”
Garreth put his hands up. “Sorry mate, potion rules.”
“Yes.” Vyra answered easily, a slight giggle bubbling to the surface unexpectedly. But she was certain, truthful.
Meanwhile Sebastian’s stomach seemed to drop, she kept her gaze on Garreth, her emotions seemingly dulling by the minute.
“In what way do you like him?” Garreth pressed, tilting his head down, almost expecting the answer.
Vyra frowned at him, puzzled. “Why would there be different ways?” She said with no regret.
Poppy swore under her breath, Natty’s eyes widened. Sebastian took a step forward, and Garreth put his hands behind his head, throughly satisfied.
“Well….that answers that.”
Vyra turned toward him, now sitting int he chair next to her, unaffected.
“You look tense.”
“I am.” He said tightly.
She smiled at him, setting a hand on his shoulder. “You always are.”
Garreth spoke once more but he heard nothing, eyes pinned on Vyra, something shifting within him.
Something about her honesty, so unguarded, luminous, felt dangerous to him.
She stood, swaying slightly. His hand reaching her wrist. “Careful.
”He muttered.”
Instinct overriding thought.
She giggled. “I am careful…you are overly…..”
She wasn’t, her head turned, walking away from the table, leaving everyone at the table in suspense at her unfinished thought.
Her ears followed the music, but it was the sweet smell of pastries drawing her in. Ghost dancing around her, paying little mind to them.
Sebastian followed her without thinking. Garreth watched with narrowed eyes.
“Vyra….” He called her name but she didnt turn. “Vyra, wait….please.”
She giggled losing him in the crowd, giving him a toying look before a ghost flung straight through him, distracting him long enough for her to sneak away.
A small table of pastries spoke to her, the music from the instrucments fading in and out, body swaying lightly.
Mind drifting easily for once.
“You seem like youre having fun.” A voice took her focus from the pastries, almost purring by her ear. “maybe too much.”
Even in her dull state, the air around Theo felt suffocating, something about him felt wrong, dark.
“Come take a walk with me…fresh air, more to drink, something better than rubbish experiments.”
She opened her mouth to decline but her body felt slow. Theo didnt wait, hooking an arm around her waist.
“Come on, I got you.”
Theo quickly put a disillusionment charm on them, making it out into the corridor before setting her against a wall.
“Here, drink this…it will help you walk.” Her eyes fluttered to him then the bottle before shaking her head.
CRACK.
A flash of light hit Theo straight in the chest before he could respond, hitting the ground with a thud.
He dropped with dead weight, alive but unconscious, Vyra blinked trying to understand what she was seeing.
Suddenly an arm was around her, walking her down the corridor, the scent of cedar and smoke filled her nostrils.
Her gaze drifted to Sebastian’s clenched jaw. He walked her down thin, winding corridors until they got to the room he once had grabbed her, hidden, stone grinding away the entry way until they got inside.
He set her down gently agasint the wall, searching for water, his arm completely lost in his bag as she watched.
“You stunned him…” she asked, eyebrow raised. He gave her water before bracing himself gasping the opposite wall. Chest rising and falling with ragged breaths.
Vyra exhaled softly, her confidence unrestrained by the potion or nerves dulled by it.
“You were leaving with him,” his voice was low. “In that state.”
Her eyes lifted once. “You sound jealous.” His jaw tightened another notch, it just might break.
Her voice almost amused. “You are going to make me stay here?”
“Yes.”
There was a paused from her. “You sound serious about it.”
His eyes narrowed at her before shaking his head slightly, gaze never leaving. “I am serious.”
He said but then noticed the way her hand twitched for her own wand, almost teasing him or testing him.
“You enjoy provoking me.” He said it more as a statement.
She didnt say anything but the grin she wore, said it clearly.
“Why not take me to my room?” She asked, eyeing the exit to the small room.
“I will, I wanted to talk to you…”
He said noticing the way she eyed the doorway out again.
“Hmm.” She pushed herself off the wall, heading for the exit, but his body shifted, blocking it.
She instead walked in front of him, taking his wrist, eyeing him, before slowly pushing his sleeve up, showing the marks etched into his skin.
He froze. Slowly, deliberately, her fingers brushed the lines along the mark, a skull with a serpent wrapped tightly around his forearm.
“Vyra..” he warned, voice coming out rough.
“You always look as if you are going to bolt.”
She dropped his arm, shaking her head before moving toward the archway to leave.
He moved instantly, body tense.
“You are not going out there like this.”
“Why because Theo is out there?”
He cocked his head to the side.
“I told you..dont say his name.” She looked at him confused.
“When did you ever tell me this?” Shaking his head slightly at her question before realizing that moment didn’t happen.
“I…never mind. Just don’t say it.”
She took that opportunity to reach in his pocket, grabbing his wand, backing up a few steps..taunting it in the air.
He blinked, stunned. He went to grab her when she managed to dodge him, ducking under his arm but barely, almost reaching the archway when a hand gripped her arm.
She tossed his wand in the air, distracting him enough to free herself, ducking under his arm again, giggling as he spun, missing her just barely.
Spinning around him as quick as she could, before her body lost balance, swaying.
“Stop…Vyra…stop…” Sebastian managed to grab her arm, as the momentum took her backwards, bringing him with her.
His arm braced her fall, cupping her head and back, before falling atop of her, both letting out a breath as their bodies met stone.
The air immediately shifted around them.
For a moment just one, they froze in a breathless, exhausted state.
The air between them grew electric suddenly, her giggles vanishing, lips parting.
His eyes flicked down, noticing.
The silence stretched until he broke it finally.
“Vyra..” he whispered, voice rough enough to shatter glass. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
He shifted his body above her but refused to move just yet.
“Why did you bring me here?”
“To talk.” He said simply.
“So ask me what you want to, I dont mind.” She stared up at him, unable to lie otherwise.
“You disappeared, i was calling after you….then you almost….” He said, though it came out as an observation them a reprimand.
“I wanted pastries…..and I did not want Garreth to ask me anymore questions.”
She paused before addding. “If you wanted to ask me something, i would have answered any questions though, just because you asked.”
“Why.” Sebastian curled his fingers to his side, the other still tucked underneath her head, preventing him from moving far.
“Because I would want the same from you, honesty. It makes me feel safe to know the truth.”
He pondered this for a moment, breath breezing by her cheek.
“And does this feel safe?”
There was no hesitation. “Yes.” The word stern, certain.
Sebastian’s face now moved closer slightly before he realized it.
“Why?”
“You dont ask questions you don’t want the answers to.” She said.
He blinked at that, not expecting it, remembering those words.
He spoke low. “You told Garreth…in front of everyone, that you liked me.” He paused, searching her face for embarrassment or uncertainty, where there was none. “Do you know what that means?”
Her brows furrowed slightly. “It means I enjoy your company. “
He paused.
“And, when I am close to you?” He asked quietly, body pressing into her. “Does it bother you.”
“No.” She frowned. “Should it?”
He exhaled slowly through his nose, something almost like a laugh threatening to surface.
“Do you realize….that you haven’t pulled away from me once?”
She blink, licking her lips once.
He felt her move slightly under him, hearing the slightest hitch to her breath.
“You haven’t pulled away or asked to leave. You always seem ready to help me when i ask.”
Her eyes flicked briefly to his mouth, then back to his eyes.
“I don’t see the problem.” She admitted.
Sebastians expression shifted, something dangerous and knowing settling in.
“That’s because,” he spoke quietly. “You haven’t realized it yet.”
“Realized what?”
He held her gaze, unwavering. “That you’re already drawn in.”
Her breath stuttered, but not from fear, or retreat but recognition.
“You can stay with me tonight.” He paused. “If you want to stay.” He said carefully.
She smiled, soft …trusting. Entirely unaware of the weight she placed on his arm.
“I was planning to.”
Sebastian turned his head but she could see the way his expression changed, his pupils widening, feel the way his heart sped up.
“Answer something for me….and don’t soften it.”
She nodded up to him.
“When others look at you..do you notice?”
“Sometimes.” She said, letting him continue.
“What about when I look at you, do you notice?” She nodded again. “Does that make you uncomfortable?”
“No,” she said quickly, then quietly. “It makes me feel seen.”
The admission hit harder than expected,
“Why?”
She hesitated, just a breath. Unguarded, spell induced truth lingering in the air. “You don’t glance. You dont skim…..you look at me as if trying to read soemthing beneath the skin.”
His pulsed thudded, loudly. “And does that bother you?
“No.”
He asked anyway, restraint shattering with it. “What does it do to you then?”
Vyra swallowed, unable to tear her eyes away. “It makes my thoughts stumble…. Your eyes are intense, beautifully dark…..when you stare at me like that, the world narrows between us….it confuses me and thrills me all at once.”
Silence starched, thick but fragile. Sebastian head dipped closer.
His voice a low but rough. “You do realize…you are speaking very freely tonight…” she nodded, licking her lips. “And would you regret this tomorrow?”
Her brows knit. “I…no..I will be surprised but that is all.”
The openesss and senserity in her answer fueled him further, unable to fully stop himself now. She wasn’t flirting, but confessing something she had not quite named yet.
He continued, unable to stop. “Do you like when I look at you like that?”
Without hesitation. She spoke softly. “Yes.”
Sebastian turned his head slightly, forcing himself to breathe, her gaze seemingly being the one burning him this time.
“You understand that what you are feeling right now is heightened, senses dulled.. you might not even remeber this…”
He swallowed, waiting for her to answer.
“I do know, and you will remeber for the both of us if I dont. My feelings wont change.”
“Do you want me to get off you right now?”
He was testing something dangerous in his mind, a boundary he knew could not be taken back.
She breathed out quick. “No.”
His breathing came uneven, his hand going to her waist, pulling her closer, noticing in the way her breath hitched.
“If I were..” his voice roughened, dry. eyes bouncing around her face. “If I were to kiss you right now…would you pull away?”
She didn’t answer at first, lips parting as if to understand truly what he had just asked. Instead her fingers curled around his shirt.
“I wouldn’t…” she whispered, forcing herself steady.
That was it, that did it. Something inside him fractured to the growing ache in his ribs.
His forehead pressed to hers, breathing shakily, searching her face, giving a moment of doubt to reach.
It didn’t.
His hand pulled her waist closer, her back arching involuntarily into him.
He felt her pulling his shirt, her breath deepening in anticipation.
He dipped his head down, brushing her lips, one last chance to escape him, until all restraint of his failed, pressing his lips to hers in one fluid motion.
The kiss as subtle at first, slow, Vyra mirrored his movements, seemingly frustrated. Wanting more.
His hand slid up from the floor to her neck, cupping her jaw, gripping her firmly, as if she might disappear if he didn’t. Her hand gripping his neck tightly, As if she finally found soemthing to anchor herself to.
It was a crash of breath and heat of every unspoken moment that had, filled by the weeks and years between them.
His lips softened only when she gasped, his mouth then following the sound greedily, wanting to hear it again as if he had waited longer than he would ever admit.
Her dizziness evaporated, her head cleared and yet it melted all the same into his touch, his weight, his being.
She felt his tremors, in the way he gripped, clutching onto her. Desperate in the way he breathed her name against his mouth.
When they finally broke apart, their breaths ghosting the other’s cheeks, pupils blown, doubt crept in.
Sebastian’s searched her dazed expression, seeing her flushed cheeks.
“Vyra…tell me this isn’t the potion.”
She swallowed, breath trembling, lips still tingling and swollen from their kiss.
“No, it’s not.”
And the way he inhaled, sharp, disbelieving..undone. Made her want to kiss him again.
They stayed stuck together on the stone floor, neither of them moved, their breaths mingled with the others, warm, misting the cold air above them.
She felt his heartbeat agasint her ribs, fast, uneven as if something feral had been opened up inside him.
Then she saw the regret cross his features making her eyes blow open wide.
He pushed himself up, sitting beside her. She rose slowly, setting a hand on his.
“Merlin…I came too close.”
“To what.” She asked slowly.
“To losing control….to…you dont understand…I should not have touched you…not in your state….”
He ran a hand through his hair roughly, fingers gripping his wrist in frustration.
“I can’t lie, I haven’t lied to you all night.” She spat out quickly, desperate to calm his racing thoughts.
She tugged his sleeve, unsure of what more to do.
“Vyra..I…..”
But she was already moving closer to him instead, pressing her lips to his one more time.
“I wouldn’t do this with anyone eles, you know it was not the potion, if I had been alone in a room with….”
Realization seemed to hit them both at her words, he understood what she was going to say.
She moved her body to face him, kneeling to face level. Giving him light touches, soothing his arm, intertwining her hand in his. His muscles grew tense beneath her touch but he didn’t pull away.
He looked to her searching for something.
“Are you afraid of me?” It was a question he had been wanting to ask from the beginning, circling it like a prey.
She paused before answering. “Yes.”
His breath hitched, head snapped to her, eyes shadowed, wounded but softening. “Then why…”
“I am afraid of you losing yourself,” she whispered. “Of what this world is making you become…of what you would do for those you love.”
She paused, needing an answer.
“Sebastian…what are those marks on your arms?”
His hand closed tightly around hers, gently lowering it.
“Not tonight,” he breathed. Guilty. “I promise it isn’t what you think though, not as bad as what you are assuming it to be.”
She hesitated. “If it is for Ann..is she even….”
He cut her off, not able to hear the rest. “Ann isn’t dead…but I lost her all the same, but you are right about one thing…I will keep trying to find a cure for her, no matter what.”
His confession left her breathless.
“And there is soemthing eles you are searching from that isn’t for Ann….”
He nodded, unwilling to share more.
“I can’t say more Vyra…I already dont trust myself around you currently and have already meddled with time itself for you.” He paused. “ her heart fluttered violently at that, not quite sure what he meant.
“Sebastian..just tell me one thing.” she pleaded almost. “Whatever it is that you are searching for…will it destroy you?”
She waited, not wanting the answer.
He looked at her, unsure of how to lessen the blow. “It just might.”
Her own restraint failed, moving in, pressing her lips to his once more but he didnt let it last, pushing himself back, barely holding it togeher.
“This…this is exactly why I shouldn’t…”
“Because you wanted to, or…” he shook his head at her.
“Because I still want to….” Silence filled the room, a confession coming. “You probably wont remember this tomorrow and that..and that might be the only reason I can live with myself.”
“Sebastian..” he shook his head again, brushing her hand.
“I see things..” he said. “Not clearly. But enough to know that getting closer to me comes with a cost. Daydreams you can call them. If meddling with the future has a cost, it would be my corruption burning into you.”
Her honesty flickered again. “I dont feel corrupted…I have never felt..”
“That’s what terrifies me.” He swallowed hard. “You and Ominis deserve better….I hope you forgive me for this….”
She looked at him confused until his wand raised, pointing it at her.
Realization hit her like a blow.
“Sebastian…dont…” she stumbled as his hand shook, biting his lip once.
She continued, noticing he held her own wand.
“If you do this..I will never forgive you…please.”
He considered this for a moment before shutting his eyes, a quick bright light filled the room before darkness covered her whole.
Vyras Journal entry: Ten ~
I woke up in my bed, head still dizzy, but my journal lay open as if begging for my mind to write down what happened tonight before darkness crept around me once more.
Garreths potion tonight brought all my truth to the surface, stripping me wide open.
I couldn’t lie if I tried, so when the words came, about Sebastian, how I practically declared longing for him, a fueling desire of temptation that I willingly gave into tonight.
When he asked me question after question, I didnt stop. I didn’t soften them like I could have or asked him to stop, i didnt want to.
For once I laughed, the air itself felt lighter.
My confession is still feeling the way his lips touched mine, those intense eyes.
Something has changed and shifted, if I forget this, read this over and over until that feeling comes back.
The way friends don’t feel an emotion of desire.
Sebastian Journal Entry:
I don’t believe in coincidence anymore. Not after tonight I saw it before it happens.~ the way visions arrive without mercy. Theo‘s hand too close his voice below coaxing. Vyra laughing because she didn’t know how to refuse when the world felt late for once I felt like a blade under my ribs, sharp and immediate, the kind of certainty that makes you violent before you can reason yourself out of it. I know better than to lean into what I see. The visions aren’t meant to be followed. Every book, every warning, every ruin left behind by those who tried to shape fate, says the same thing: you invite consequences you can never predict. Not the cost.. not the timing. Only that it will come.
I’ve seen what happens to those who mistake foresight for control. And still, I lost myself for a moment and nearly did something I couldn’t take back.
But my restraint held after seeing her leave with him, knowing what the outcome could’ve been if I so easily chose that path, making the vision wrong. As if I corrected it time itself does not like to be toyed with.
And it ruined me.
Because for so long, I believe that wanting is a weakness. That love makes you predictable. The love is a door. The world will always kick in.
But when she looked at me, honest and unguarded I wanted to believe in something clean. Something unbroken.
The kiss wasn’t hunger. It was recognition.
It felt like standing on the edge of a spell I couldn’t cast or shouldn’t. One that would cost too much one that would change the shape of me forever. I didn’t take more than she offered. I couldn’t. I was too aware of how easily I could become the thing I hate still when it ended. I knew something irreversible had happened. I can already feel the pool to watch more closely to listen harder when the visions come to act, when they whisper her name that path that never ends well never ends cleanly and yet she doesn’t know what she’s done to me what she’s awakened.
And I don’t know whether that makes her my salvation or the moment fate finally decides to collect the debt.
This is possibly my greatest desire.