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Coping

Summary:

A shared job between Edward and James takes a horrific turn when Edward is the victim of a horrible accident. An accident so horrible that he's sent to the steamworks with no way to know for sure if he'll make it out okay. The engines are met with the possibility that he may be beyond repair, where there could be no choice but to scrap him.

With Edward's fate in the air, his friends are left to deal with the extreme emotions that anyone would go through at a time like this. No engine has quite the same experience. Whether it be a growing frustration at the world, an insistence that everything will be fine, or a desire to work harder than ever. No one's getting out of this in one piece.

OR, I inadvertently made S21's "Springtime for Diesel" but it's Edward instead of Daisy, and arguably a lot more serious.

(Aight, all those misspellings of 'Knapford' should be fixed now)

Notes:

Welp, I said I was going to write more TTTE fics. After my lighthearted oneshot, I decided that the second outing should be a very heavy fic about coping with an extremely difficult situation, instead of me finished the 3-4 other oneshots I have cooking. I like to do a little bit of everything, because I want to know that I can write any tone I want. No offence to writers/readers who only write/read one thing, but I like variety. And of course, it's just the way of things, isn't it? Someone who writes fanfic gets into a fun lighthearted show aimed at kids, and immediately wonders "what would happen if these characters had to deal with something like a horrific accident". I dunno why. I guess it's just interesting to put children's characters into affairs that they'd never deal with in the original work.

I want to say, however, that I certainly would not count this as a 'darkfic'. I feel like 'darkfic' is a term associated with things like murder, torture, terminal illnesses, apocalypses, suicide, and some topics that I don't even dare to mention in a TTTE fic of all things. It has darker elements than the show does, but I'd argue it's much more 'heavy' than 'dark'. I'm NOT saying there's anything wrong with a good ol 'darkfic', of course. It's just not what I'm doing here.

As said in the summary, I realised after starting this that I was basically doing 'Springtime for Diesel', but instead of Daisy, it's Edward. Fantastic episode, btw, everyone should watch it. Right now, actually. No sarcasm, it's one of my favourites in the whole show. The events of that episode WILL be directly referenced, but otherwise it's (hopefully) a pretty different experience. It's a lot longer, anyway. Dear god...

Chapter 1: All an Accident

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

James did not like working with Edward.

It wasn't that he didn't like Edward himself. Quite the opposite, in fact. The two conflicted in many ways, but James was happy to call Edward his friend. Whether or not he actually admitted it.

But working with Edward? Almost impossible. When they were assigned to pull the same train, James could hardly stand it. He always wanted to go as fast as reasonably possible, while Edward was (from his perspective) so painfully slow. And a train can only go as fast as their slowest engine, unless you pulled a Gordon and dragged a smaller engine behind you.

So there James was. At the front of a long line of trucks, all full of stone from Blue Mountain Quarry. Pulling with only about 70% of his effort. Pouting. At the back of that long line was Edward. Pushing with all his might. Well, not 'all' of his might, obviously. But James figured it must've been all of it. How much could that old engine even push or pull to begin with? Not that James voiced this, believe it or not. He could still remember the time that he was barrelling down the mainline without a driver (thanks to some kids), and Edward had to catch up with him. Karma was not something he wanted to deal with today. He had enough as it was.

Besides, he had plenty of other things to complain about.

'Hurry up, Edward!' He said. 'It's going to be dark by the time we get these rocks to Ulfstead Castle!'

Note that they just left the quarry. Skarloey was literally puffing past them on a narrow track while James was complaining.

'We've hardly even left the quarry, James,' Edward said. 'And we have plenty of time to make it to Ulfstead Castle. Don't worry.'

'Yeah,' James muttered to himself. 'If I was on my own.'

He sucked it up and did the job, like he was supposed to, but dang it he was allowed to be pouty about it. No one said he had to like the work. Hardly anyone liked having to pull a bunch of trucks, especially slowly. If the other engines were there, they'd go back to making fun of his 'pouty' faces. Lucky for him, he and Edward were the only ones around.

They puffed on down the track through the mountainous terrain. The track was mostly flat, but the surrounding area certainly wasn't. There were a whole lotta cliffs. Edward had to admit, those cliffs had him a little worried. Sodor had been receiving a lot of heavy rain as of late, and even though the tracks had dried up, the rain had still done its damage to the cliffs.

A few pebbles broke from the cliff above and tumbled down onto Edward. They clinked against his boiler harmlessly.

'Be careful, James,' He said, just loud enough for the other engine to hear him. 'Keep your voice down, only whistle if you have to, and watch out for rock slides.'

James shuddered. It wasn't too long ago at all that he had almost ended up in a nasty rock slide himself. If Percy hadn't been there… He didn't even want to think about that. So, he - for once - followed Edward's advice without a question. Sort of. It just made him want to go faster. The faster they went, the sooner they got out of here.

A fist-sized rock rolled down the cliff side and bounced directly off James's forehead. ('Ow.') That certainly did not make him feel any better about this situation. He sped up just a little. Only a little. Edward felt the increase in speed immediately, but chose to say nothing. It was only a little bit faster, after all, and he could easily keep up.

Still, those trickling rocks made him just a little nervous.

James continued at that speed, grumbling to himself under his breath about the situation. Grumbling enough, in fact, that even Duncan would call him out on it.

The wind whistled past.

More small rocks tumbled down the cliff side.

James tried to ignore all the stones tumbling around him.

Edward watched out for every single one.

James grumbled about his position some more, mostly to help distract his mind. The last time he was involved in a rock slide was now fresh in his mind. It hadn't even happened too long ago. He could still remember the sheer terror coursing through his mind as the rocks began to tumble. As he got caught on a pile of dirt and couldn't flee no matter how hard he tried. As he came this close to nature scrapping him.

He sped up slightly. This wasn't the clay pits. This was a very different place indeed. But it still reminded me of his close brush with scrap.

Edward could feel the slight increase in speed again. But he still didn't comment on it. James's pride was a fickle thing, and upsetting it could only ever end in horrible ways. Either his insecurities would get the better of him, or he'd be so determined to prove that he was still the best that he'd get them both in trouble. He'd done it before, straight through a billboard.

Suddenly, Edward felt a rumble beneath his wheels.

It was subtle. Barely noticeable at all. Most engines would've ignored it, if they had even felt it at all. But he did. And he certainly didn't ignore it. He looked up at the cliffs surrounding them.

He gasped.

Just up ahead, the whole cliff face was beginning to come lose. More fist-sized rocks tumbled down onto the tracks.

He realised, perhaps belatedly, that at the speed James was going at…

'James!' He said. 'Look out!'

James had been too busy with his grumbling and reminders of the past to notice what was happening. He glanced up at the cliff face, just as he was passing by it.

For a split second, he was brought right back to his time at the clay pits.

When he was almost gone for good.

He let out a scream.

His driver, caught off guard, scrambled to apply the breaks. For whatever good that would do them. Edward tried to kick into reverse, in hopes of pulling James away before all that rock fell.

In the split second he had to comprehend the situation, he saw just how much rock was about to tumble over. More than he had seen in a while.

James, however, did not give anyone enough time to hit the breaks or reverse or anything of the sort. As soon as he screamed, he sped up as fast as he could go. All he could think about was getting away. Getting out of there. Making sure he didn't end up where he was before.

'James, stop!' Edward cried. 'If you do that, I'll-!'

His driver and fireman jumped clear. So did James's. They ran in opposite directions as fast as their legs could carry them.

James realised, perhaps belatedly, that he had just made a terrible mistake.

The tumbling stones, bigger than any stone he ever had to haul, fell to the ground.

He managed to speed underneath them with seconds to spare.

They hit the track.


'Where are they?'

'They should've been back by now!'

The sun was just about to set completely past Sodor's mountain range. The rest of the Tidmouth Sheds gang were done with their work, all lined up in their berths in preparation for another day of being Really Useful when the sun rose again. With the schedules they had all been given, everyone should've been there. But James and Edward were nowhere to be seen.

'This isn't right,' Thomas said. 'Edward's never late! And James certainly wouldn't let him be late either.'

'There's definitely something up,' Emily said. 'Their job was long, but it wasn't this long.'

'Ohhh,' Henry whimpered. 'I hope nothing bad happened to them.'

Gordon huffed. 'It's probably just because Edward is holding up the train and making them both late.'

The other four engines weren't very happy with this remark. They all gave him nasty looks. Except for Henry, who was too busy fretting about his friends.

'Edward doesn't hold up trains!' Percy said. 'He's a-!'

'Really Useful engine,' Gordon said, rolling his eyes. 'I know. But pulling all those stones? Poor James can't possibly get the work done in time while he's dragging Edward behind him.'

'The one time I've ever heard you say 'poor James',' Emily said. 'And it's just to put down Edward.'

'But it's true. Edward is simply too old to be… reliable.'

Thomas groaned, loudly. 'This again? Tell me, Gordon. How many times has Edward helped you up your own hill?'

'Only a few, and I wouldn't have needed his help at all if-'

'You didn't mistake a pair of trousers for a danger flag?'

'That was one time!'

It wasn't always easy standing up to Gordon, but Thomas could stand up to just about anyone if it was to defend his friends. Even the likes of Diesel 10 couldn't intimidate him when his friends were on the line.

Percy, ever the outspoken one, did not hesitate to say, 'I think Edward's much more reliable than you'll ever be!'

That certainly struck a nerve. Gordon glared at the little green engine with so much fury in his eyes that, for a moment, Percy regretted ever opening his mouth.

'More reliable than me?' Gordon said. 'BAH! He'll get scrapped long before me, mark my words!'

The other engines gasped. That was a line never to be crossed. Gordon knew that. He only realised what he had said after the words had already left his mouth.

'Take. That. Back,' Percy said, overcoming his brief regret.

Gordon knew that he had crossed the line, the moment he said the dreaded 'scrap' word. Unfortunately, he was not one for admitting his mistakes. Not unless it was forced out of him. Until it was, he was going to double down more than ever.

'I'm not wrong!' He insisted. 'Edward is simply not nearly as fast or as strong as he used to be. His usefulness is fading. He may very well be due for it. I, on the other hand, am just as grand as I was when I first set wheel on the track. Perhaps even more so!'

'Just be quiet, Gordon!' Emily snapped. 'James and Edward could be in serious trouble right now for all we know.'

'I still stand by what I said! He can never be as useful as-'

'Would you just be quiet?!' Henry shouted.

A proper shout from Henry was a rare thing. Even when angry, his naturally soft voice dampened any shout he could muster. So when he did muster a proper shout, it always made the other engines go quiet immediately. Even Gordon was stunned into silence.

'Edward could be in terrible trouble,' Henry said. 'And you're sitting there saying that he's unreliable and due to be scrapped!'

'I'm just stating facts-' Gordon said.

'No, you're not! You're just being mean because you don't want to admit that you crossed a line.'

'I- What- That is absurd! It's simply the truth, Henry.'

'We shouldn't even be fighting!' Emily said. 'Not until we know for sure what happened. Maybe they were just delayed, or maybe something serious has happened to them.'

The engines were so wrapped up in their argument that they didn't notice a certain blue car racing towards them at the highest speed it could possible achieve. The breaks were slammed so abruptly that the passengers inside were jolted forward. But one passenger didn't care at all. He clambered out of the car so fast that he stumbled over himself.

'And if it turns out something serious did happen,' Thomas said, narrowed eyes on Gordon. 'You're going to regret saying that Edward should be scrapped.'

'I never said he should be scrapped!' Gordon insisted. 'Merely that it may be time soon.'

'That isn't any better!' Henry shouted.

'Just admit that you crossed the line, Gordon!' Emily said.

'I didn't cross any line.'

The only engine who noticed the new arrival was Percy. He gasped. If he showed up, looking as panicked as he did, then… Percy blew his whistle as loudly as he possibly could. He may have been little, but his whistle was mighty. That shut everyone up, alright. And even if it hadn't…

'Engines! ENGINES!'

That certainly would have. Every engine in the sheds went dead quiet when they saw none other than the Fat Controller himself standing before them. They expected him to be cross, either with the delayed engines or the ones who just got into a heated argument over something silly. But he wasn't. Not at all. His face was bright red and sweat trickled down it slowly.

The engines had seen the Fat Controller scared before, especially in front of his mother. But this wasn't just fear. It was panic.

'I-I got a call, from the Blue Mountain Quarry…'

One sentence in - just the one - and it already filled the engines with a nasty dread that sunk to the bottom of their boilers. The worry in his voice, the absence of their two friends, the simple fact that the call had come from the Blue Mountain Quarry… It was all adding up and painting a horrible picture. They didn't say a word, aside from nondescript sounds of worry from Henry.

'There's been an accident. A horrible, horrible accident…'

Notes:

My original plan was to write the whole thing and then start publishing chapters, but screw it. I can't wait any longer. As of writing this note, I have written approx. ~45000 words across 11 chapters. That should give you a good idea as to how long this project's gonna be. And yes, I started writing this soon after publishing 'Big Brother'. I... really like writing. I like sharing my production notes too, so expect to see a lot of explanations for certain decisions or 'what could have been's in these author notes. Such as...

The decision for Edward to be the victim while James was involved was not arbitrary. Edward was chosen to be the accident victim because, in my mind, that's what made the most sense and allowed for the most interesting reactions from the others. Especially in terms of how characters like Thomas or Gordon react to it. That was an easy choice. James being involved was a harder choice, though. But ultimately, I went with him because I thought it would be interesting to see the egotistical and cocky one deal with the kind of guilt that would come from this.

And as a fun little piece of 'what could have been', I was tempted to have this load originally be for *Henry* before he got reassigned to the mainland or something. Kinda like an "it should've been me" deal. I decided against it, however, for a few reasons. First, Henry's subplot in this (yes, they ALL get their own subplots) is going to be fairly complicated as it is. Adding this guilt thing on top of that would give him a little TOO much to do. Second, we already have 'suffers from guilt' covered by TWO other engines, so doing it a third time would be a bit repetitive. And third... Henry's already going to go through enough in this fic. He really doesn't need something else to deal with.