Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Cheng Xiaoshi.

He’d taken up the mantle of protecting him, trying to shield him from destiny. He had to. That want, that need—it had been there since the very beginning.

And yet, he only realised when his universe came crashing down. Along with the body that fell into his cradling arms.

And oh, how it hurt. 

Time may wear on his mind, but never had it managed to dull the pain, the utter sorrow that overtook him each time he watched the life drain from his eyes. The way he’d see him again and he’d be missing the memories, their memories, the ones that he’d been carrying alone all this time. And always will be. 

Was this a blessing or a curse? 

In a way, it was both.

Because even if he was defined by this damned cage that fate had locked him in, it gave him meaning. Something to live for. 

That smile of his…

If only it weren’t stained by the viscous crimson that dripped from his mouth. If only he’d make it to the end of the line. If only the string wouldn’t be severed midway.

He knew how it ended. How it always ended. And yet, he couldn’t change anything.

‘Knowledge was power,’ they say. 

Knowledge meant nothing when he couldn’t stop him from risking it all to look doom straight in the eyes, daring it to a dance to the death. A dance that he would always lose, one way or another.

In the end, it was all a warning. He was but a mortal, a human; how could he dare to look up and challenge the gods?

Because for him, even if nothing changed… he couldn’t let him go.

A figure knelt on the floor, breaths still short and shallow. His cheeks, frozen numb.

Wind fluttered through the blinds of their bedroom window, rustling his dress shirt, brushing ice against his cold sweat. 

He swallowed. Tried to regain the carefully constructed facade that he’d put on himself long ago. Trying to convince them, trying to convince himself that he’d be able to see this through.

It didn’t work. It never did.

It happened again.

Fuck.

Things weren't supposed to turn out this way.

He’d stolen away the letter from Bridon, he’d prevented him from ever meeting Vein. He’d even made sure to keep his distance, to not let himself get too close.

The one thing he’d failed to protect him from, however, was himself.

Maybe he should’ve stayed. Maybe he had to stay.

A gentle, trembling hand swept a couple strands of hair away from another’s tear-stained cheek, marked with droplets that weren’t their own.

He’d taken him down, guided him to the floor. It was the least he could do.

He deserved to rest.

That hand folded inward to cup his cheek. His face had only grown paler since. His hand, interlocked with his—now radiating but an echo of the warmth it once had.

He reached his free hand into his pocket, fishing out the photo he’d prepared earlier that day (How could he give up on him before even seeing it happen?) 

The day they met. And the day he left him behind.

It was lowered to the ground. His body painfully unstuck itself from his grasp, and yet, his eyes never left his face, unwilling to even blink.

Into his memory, he inscribed every detail, every strand of hair, even the marks that lined his neck. The way the full moon illuminated him, highlighting a stillness so ethereal, it didn’t feel real. Resembling a painting—

Frozen in time. Illusory. Gone.

He couldn’t let it happen again. He wouldn’t let it happen again. 

He’d sacrifice everything. 

Even himself, if he had to.

Three.

Two.

One.

Clap!

.

.

.

Click.

His surroundings shifted. The silence was gone, now filled with the chatter of people, the squeaking of rubber sneakers as steps danced across a surface.

Golden rays of sun hit him. He shivered.

Despite that warmth. Because of that warmth—

“Oh. Oh—

“Hey, get out of the way!”

He couldn’t even react. He was rammed down, struck by a thundering train. He tumbled towards the ground. The breath was knocked out of his lungs.

A figure crouched beside him. Two more stood by his feet.

The nearest to his face spoke as it waved hands over his eyes. “Hey… Dude, are you alright?” 

Then, a voice further away. “Jesus, mate, you should’ve looked where you were going—”

“The sun was too bright, okay?!” the previous voice retaliated, “It shone into my eyes and freaking blinded me, it wasn’t my fault I couldn’t see—“

~~~

“It wasn’t my fault I couldn’t see!”

His classmate rolled his eyes at him. Meanwhile, he kept inspecting the guy in front of him. 

Gosh, he was sorry. They weren’t friends, not even classmates. Heck, he doesn’t think he’d ever even seen him here before.

He held a hand towards him, offering to help him up. 

There was nothing. No response. No handshake. His eyes were stuck in a daze, looking at him with this spaced-out, blank look.

Did he, like, knock him out or something? But his eyes were still open. What was this, brain damage…?

“Oh god,” he mumbled to himself, “I didn’t give you a concussion or something, did I?”

Concussions were serious. He knew that much.

He turned toward his classmates.

“Wait here with him,” he huffed, “I’ll get someone from the infirmary—”

His feet took flight before he could even finish the sentence. 

Well, that was, until a voice called him back and stopped him in his tracks.

“Wait, no— wait.”

Oh.

He looked behind him.

He’d come to. That was good. 

“I’m fine,” the guy told him. He stood up and brushed the dust off his dark shorts. His posture was upright, straight—not swaying from side to side, not stumbling, nothing.

“...You sure?” he asked. It was a rough fall. Well, it wasn't like he personally knew him, but…

Then again, he wouldn’t have been this worried if Qiao Ling was the one he bumped into, she’d be fine, she’d just shove him back or something. Not go all quiet for half a minute.

“Ch— Tch. There’s no need,” the guy gritted through his teeth. His voice turned soft. “I… nevermind. I’m fine.”

“Eh… Okay, then.” He brought a hand to the back of his head and laughed an awkward chuckle. “That’s good.”

He sounded quite irritated at first. He didn’t mean to make him angry, did he leave a bad impression on him? He didn’t want anyone hating on him.

One of his classmates tapped on his shoulder. He’d already forgotten they were still there, what the heck?

“Yeah?”

“We’re just gonna go in the corner while you guys talk.” He pointed toward the opposite side of the court with a finger. “We don’t want to, I dunno, interrupt you two or anything.”

In other words, an indirect way of saying, you’re kind of wasting our time, man. Hurry it up already.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” he said, and the two walked off. 

He turned to the guy he’d bumped into.

“Right, lemme make this quick.

 “I’m Cheng Xiaoshi.” He extended a hand toward the white-haired man with a wink. “You?”

The guy blinked at his hand for a second, his eyes flashing with—

Nevermind. He probably just imagined it, a trick of the light. There was nothing there.

Nothing else other than those muted, gray eyes.

A palm met his, and he gave it a friendly shake.

“Lu Guang.”

“Cool, nice to meet you! Uh, sorry for running into you, though…”

Lu Guang shook his head. “It’s fine.”

Cheng Xiaoshi eyed his surroundings. “I’m guessing you’re a student here, too?”

They were on the basketball courts of Guidu University. Of course he was.

“Yeah. I moved mid-year, though, so I’m new.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.

“Oh, and by the way, that’s a good camera model you’ve got there…” He gestured towards the device that hung from around the other’s neck. “Hold on, are you in photography, by any chance?”

A mid-range model with decent capabilities. He had to have been a serious hobbyist, at the very least. There was no way someone only dabbling in photography would make an investment like that.

Lu Guang’s fingers drifted over the camera, his gaze shifting downward, looking at the object with a complex expression. Fondness? Distaste? He couldn’t tell.

Eventually, those light grey eyes returned to meet his own.

“Mm. The elective.”

“Cool, me too… Oh wait, I also run a photo studio nearby! Hero Photo Studio. We can fix and adjust your camera, develop any photos you might have, y’know, that kind of stuff. Why don’t you stop by sometime?” He winked. “It’s cheap.”

“I’ll… keep it in mind,” the other responded, though absentmindedly. He could see it. His mind was somewhere else. His eyes, fixed on the court, scanning every shadow, every pool of sun. “...Thanks.”

Damn. His charisma just wasn’t up there today, it seems…

Well. He didn’t speak all that much. Seems quite introverted. Maybe he was just too scared to speak up about it or something.

It was alright. If he wasn’t interested, there was no point in wasting both their time.

“Ehh, I should probably get going soon,” Cheng Xiaoshi mentioned. “See you in photography, then?”

“Yeah.” Lu Guang waved. “See you.” 

Lu Guang’s figure grew smaller as Cheng Xiaoshi retreated back toward the other end of the court, where his classmates were.

“Finally, man~!” One of them called out as he noticed him. He stretched his arms before tapping on the shoulder of his friend, who hadn’t yet seen him returning. 

“Ready?” The first classmate challenged the two of them. “Another round, let’s go.”

Another round.

Well, another round of shooting hoops. Again. Like they have been for the past half an hour.

Honestly, it’d been kind of boring…

It’d be wayyy more fun if only they could play a real game.

It was unfortunate they only had three players. Well, originally, a fourth was coming, but he got called in to switch shifts with a coworker at the last minute…

A fourth player… wait. 

Wasn’t there someone right behind him?

When he turned around, he was still there. Lu Guang. In the same spot, taking a photo of the sunset.

For some reason, he was using his phone instead of his camera, though. Wallpaper, maybe?

Would it really be alright if…

Whatever. It was worth a shot. 

When Lu Guang was done taking the photo, pocketing his phone, he deemed it safe to shoot a quick, easy pass to his chest. A friendly invitation. Nothing hard.

“So, d’you wanna—”

Instead, things turned out differently than expected. He’d caught it perfectly. No flinching. He didn’t even bat an eye.

Lu Guang raised his head, looking at him with an eyebrow raised, a challenge. Darn. Even if he held himself back during the pass, how’d he know? Either he was a mind reader in disguise, or he had an insanely fast reaction speed…

Oh well. At least if he got him to play, they could go all out. No need to hold back because he’d brought in some noob.

“Ooh~ nice catch,” he admitted.

He stepped forward and made his offer.

“We’re actually one person short for a 2v2. Up for it?”

Lu Guang remained stationary for a moment, thinking to himself. A little bit, and he nodded.

“…Yeah,” he mumbled, before speaking up clearly, “Sure.”

Cheng Xiaoshi slumped his head on his hand. His pen tapped the table, his leg bounced. His vision trailed over that demonic text over and over… his brain just refused to comprehend it.

Uh… how was he supposed to solve for this, again?

This was exactly why he hated math. Why did the government make this compulsory? 99% of the time, in real life, you’d function just fine knowing a few practical, basic formulas—high school level, at most. 

When the hell was he ever gonna use the Lebesgue integral? He was studying for a filmmaking degree, for god’s sake—

It sucked. It really did.

Maybe it would’ve made more sense if he hadn’t fallen asleep during the lecture. If only it weren’t for that stupid Mr. Wang making him submit the essay at 3am and ruining his sleep schedule…

Okay, so it was at least half his fault. He shouldn’t have procrastinated and binged video games on the weekend instead of actually starting the essay earlier. And Mr. Wang isn’t stupid; he still gave him an extension. Only for three hours… but at least he had one at all, considering his history of submitting things the night after the submission box closed.

But also. It wasn’t entirely his fault either, because Lu Guang was right there when it happened. 

He was sitting right next to him, and he really just let him sleep through the whole thing. Like, really, dude? Shouldn’t he have at least taken some grace upon him, done it for his sake? It wasn’t exactly a secret that he sucked at anything and everything math-related.

It was almost like he did it on purpose just so that he could act all snug about it later.

Yeah, no, he wasn’t getting away with that—

cheng.xiaoshi is online.

 

[5:08PM] cheng.xiaoshi: lu guang

[5:08PM] cheng.xiaoshi: lu guang

[5:08PM] cheng.xiaoshi: lu guanggggggggg

 

Lu Guang is online.

 

[5:09PM] Lu Guang: ?

 

[5:09PM] cheng.xiaoshi: u remember the stuff from professor wei’s lecture, right??

[5:10PM] cheng.xiaoshi: the hw, i dont get it

 

[5:10PM] Lu Guang: the professor already explained everything you need to know

[5:10PM] Lu Guang: you were the one that slept through it. that’s on you.

 

[5:11PM] cheng.xiaoshi: HEY

[5:11PM] cheng.xiaoshi: it’s not js my fault, yk?

[5:11PM] cheng.xiaoshi: u were the one who chose not to wake me up during the lecture, u were literally right next to me

[5:11PM] cheng.xiaoshi: u gotta take some responsibility man >:(

 

[5:13PM] Lu Guang: …fine

[5:13PM] Lu Guang: is there a specific part you want help with?

 

[5:13PM] cheng.xiaoshi: everything. i need hekp with everything.

[5:13PM] cheng.xiaoshi: it’s a big chapter tho

[5:13PM] cheng.xiaoshi: i think it’d be easier to do it in person

[5:14PM] cheng.xiaoshi: u wanna meet up somewhere?

[5:14PM] cheng.xiaoshi: actually nvm

[5:14PM] cheng.xiaoshi: u don’t have to go anywhere

[5:14PM] cheng.xiaoshi: i could come over to urs if thats easiwr 

 

[5:14PM] Lu Guang: what about the studio? you need to stay and run it.

 

[5:14PM] cheng.xiaoshi: ehh

[5:14PM] cheng.xiaoshi: but none of our regulars come on wednesdays anyway

[5:14PM] cheng.xiaoshi: hold on lemme correct that

[5:14PM] cheng.xiaoshi: no one ever comes on a wednesday. period. 

[5:14PM] cheng.xiaoshi: no one would notice if i just closed shop lmao

 

[5:15PM] Lu Guang: what would qiao ling say?

 

[5:15PM] cheng.xiaoshi: shhhh 

[5:15PM] cheng.xiaoshi: she’s out attending an evening lecture today

[5:15PM] cheng.xiaoshi: she isn’t coming back for at least another hr

[5:15PM] cheng.xiaoshi: i won’t take long if u live nearby

[5:16PM] cheng.xiaoshi: hold on, where DO u live anyway

[5:16PM] cheng.xiaoshi: i js realised u never tol dme

 

[5:16PM] Lu Guang: it’s probably around ten minutes if you walk

 

[5:16PM] cheng.xiaoshi: nahhhh that's nothinggh

[5:16PM] cheng.xiaoshi: send me your address

[5:16PM] cheng.xiaoshi: i’ll make my way over asap

 

[5:16PM] Lu Guang: i never said you could visit?

 

[5:16PM] cheng.xiaoshi: u never said i couldn’t either

 

[5:17PM] Lu Guang: just because i didn’t say no doesn’t mean i’m okay with it.

 

[5:17PM] cheng.xiaoshi: then why haven’t u said no yet

[5:17PM] cheng.xiaoshi: u usually js say it straight up

 

[5:19PM] cheng.xiaoshi: HAHAHHAAHAHH

[5:19PM] cheng.xiaoshi: bro js left me on read

[5:19PM] cheng.xiaoshi: couldn’t even deny it 💀💀💀

 

[5:20PM] Lu Guang: here.

[Click to open maps]

[5:20PM] Lu Guang: the practice questions i’ll be giving you will be straight from the advanced section of the textbook. you better be ready.

 

[5:20PM] cheng.xiaoshi: YAYAYYAYYAYAY :D 

[5:20PM] cheng.xiaoshi: wait what

[5:20PM] cheng.xiaoshi: noooooo

[5:20PM] cheng.xiaoshi: ur supposed to be helping me

[5:21PM] cheng.xiaoshi: go easy on me :< 

 

Lu Guang has gone offline.

 

[5:21PM] cheng.xiaoshi: LU GUANGGGGG 

[5:21PM] cheng.xiaoshi: DON’T JUST LEAVEEEEE :')

After another minute waiting and no response, he had no choice but to accept his fate.

Well, Lu Guang was a good teacher. It wasn't like he hadn’t gone to him before. Even if his brain would be the price to pay, he’d come out understanding whatever he needed help with.

Plus… he was barely passing the course. One more slip up and he’d have to repeat hell again next year…

…Nah. He definitely didn’t want to do that.

His hovering thumb finally pressed down on the link, and he was redirected to his phone’s map, where a strange address popped up.

…Meilin Hotel?

[5:22PM] cheng.xiaoshi: i think u sent the wrong address

[5:22PM] cheng.xiaoshi: this is a hotel

 

Lu Guang is online.

 

[5:22PM] Lu Guang: no, it’s the right one.

 

[5:23PM] cheng.xiaoshi: ???

>> lu guang…

>> don’t tell me…

>> ur staying at a HOTEL?

He was confused, to say the least. 

What about the dorms on campus? Hell, even renting an apartment would be cheaper.

Even if Lu Guang only recently moved from Yulin and didn’t have any relatives to live with in Guidu… wow.

The guy was really this clueless about saving money, huh.

Three jumping dots appeared on the bottom left corner of his screen. They disappeared for a second, then returned—not long later, three bubbles of text popped up.

>> Lu Guang: all of the dorms at the university were taken by the time i moved here.

>> Lu Guang: i’ve landed a part time job. i can cover it, don’t worry.

>> Lu Guang: anyway, i’ve got my thesis to write. if you’re not coming, then so be it.

He had to avoid face-palming on the spot. His thumbs flew across his phone’s keyboard, his reply shooting into their chat.

>> holy hell dude. 

>> wait

>> i’ll be riiiiiight back

His finger clicked off their chat and navigated to WeChat’s main screen, his list of contacts now visible.

He scrolled through them before pressing on one.

>> U WONT BELIEVE THIS

All it took was two text messages and a phone call for Lu Guang to arrive at the studio, backpack and suitcase in hand. 

Not even a minute after learning of his living situation, Cheng Xiaoshi had gone and run his mouth about it to Qiao Ling. From then on, both were quite open to the idea of having him move into the studio with Xiaoshi—insistent, even. 

Qiao Ling, because she took pity on him. Meanwhile, Cheng Xiaoshi, because he said it’d be ‘fun.’ Well, by the sound of it, he just wanted someone to annoy in the middle of the night.

He hesitated at first, but… 

He had to stick around. For his sake. His own, too, probably.

As long as he didn’t let himself step past the boundaries that he needed to. As long as the three of them remained friends. Not best friends. Not family.

Just people he hung around at university. People who offered him a place to stay, out of mutual convenience.

And this arrangement would allow him to watch over Cheng Xiaoshi. Prevent him from being careless and getting himself into stupid situations. 

The timeline may have branched, sure, but that branch will grow as the way he needs it to. 

He’ll make sure of it.

The three of them talked the night before, sorting out logistics, rent, the bunk bed…

He was already done moving his things in. Now, he just had to wait. The other two were out, and so he’d settled on the couch with a novel.

Reviews always said it had an exceptional plot. He’d never bothered to get it before, but this time, he’d given in, borrowed it from the library.

A mystery novel, it was.

About a detective who found his colleague dead, with a rope around his neck.

The page flipped to the second chapter, and the door of the studio creaked open.

’A customer has arrived!’

“Uh… hello?”

The voice was distinct from Cheng Xiaoshi’s and Qiao Ling’s. 

Something about the pronunciation signalled an accent, though it was impossible to pinpoint exactly what. Foreigner, probably… even still, she seemed quite proficient in it.

He was the only one here… it looks like he’d have to take over and help.

“Yes?” he responded, getting up from the couch.

“Ah, hi,” she greeted him as he settled behind the counter, “I heard you fix cameras here?”

She handed him the device. 

“I knocked it off my table at home… I’m not sure what’s broken, it’s not working anymore. I need it ready as soon as possible, though,” she explained. “How bad is it? Will it take a while?”

He took it in his hands and inspected it, fiddling with it. No damage, the lens mount had only been misaligned. It wouldn’t take long to get it back in place.

“It’s not damaged, but I’ll have to make some readjustments to the lens mount. It should be ready within the next hour. Would you prefer to wait or pick it up later?”

“Oh—that’s fine. I’ll stay until you’re done.”

~~~

After her little outing with Xu Shanshan—half of which the other spent daydreaming about Dong Yi, gosh, when was eiither of them ever gonna make the first move?—Qiao Ling returned to the familiar, lush green of the door that guarded her second home.

She opened it.

The first thing she noticed was that a customer sat on the couch in front of the counter, her legs crossed. She had a tall frame and wore a long, brown trench coat with a beige sweater underneath. She really liked her style of clothing; she kept it in mind for inspiration later on. 

The second thing she noticed was that Lu Guang was behind the counter, holding a camera. He seemed to have disassembled at least part of it, because now, he was putting it back together. 

The last piece clicked back into place, and on cue, Lu Guang called the customer over to the counter. 

Like a swan, she gracefully strode over, pinching her credit card between her fingers. 

“Thank you so much,” she said, turning on the camera and taking a photo of the floor. 

She pressed the delete button once her eyes scanned through it, flashing him a friendly, professional smile. “I’ll make sure to come again.”

After tapping her card on the reader, she waltzed past Qiao Ling and out the door, which closed behind her with a soft click. 

Qiao Ling made her way to the counter. She leaned over it, her elbows resting on it.

”So, Lu Guang… when were you gonna tell us?”

~~~

Cheng Xiaoshi returned to the studio, lugging a heavy shopping bag. Inside were the staples — vegetables, eggs, milk, cheese, dumplings, rice, and noodles. He dropped the bag—more like sack—onto the floor. His aching muscles breathed a sigh of relief.

While he was definitely strong, even he would be tired from lugging a 15-kilo bag around. Twenty minutes to the train station, twenty minutes back. All because they ran out of rice last week and had to restock on one of those 10kg bags. So heavy.

Well, at least he had some of his strength training done for the week...

…Wait, hold on. 

Shit. The eggs. 

He  tossed the light items to the side and dug through the bag, searching for the carton. It was near the bottom, which wasn’t exactly very reassuring. 

When he did find it, he opened it to see that all of them had cracked from the drop, golden yolks seeping into the cardboard—except for one. It was miraculous it even survived. 

He shamefully brought the carton to throw it out in the kitchen bin. Before he could, though, he passed by Qiao Ling and Lu Guang, standing at the workbench together, doing something. He couldn’t see what. Their backs hid it from view. 

Weird. 

Stopping, he went up on his tiptoes to try and peer over their shoulders from across the room. 

“Oh,” Qiao Ling said, after noticing his presence. She waved a hand, gesturing for him to join them. “Over here.”

He strolled over, steps landing just short of the other duo, the workbench now in sight.

Oh?

“A certain someone turned out to have worked with cameras before. Definitely would’ve appreciated it if he told us earlier, y’know.” Qiao Ling gave a light, playful elbow to Lu Guang’s side.

“Well, anyway, I’ve checked…” Her eyes flicked back to the table in front of them, where one of their old cameras lay, now disassembled. “And he sure knows his stuff. He knows more than I do, even.”

“Wait, really?” He glanced at the white haired man, his thumb grazing his lip in thought. 

In the past, he’d run Qiao Ling through basic camera repairs, photo development, camera models, features, and settings. Just in case she needed to run the shop while he was gone. If Lu Guang knew more than she did…

Wait?

“Hold on, why did you come to the photo studio to get your camera fixed?” he blurted, “You could’ve just done it yourself?”

Lu Guang crossed his arms, before lightly resting his back against the wall. “I didn’t have the equipment or the replacement parts for that,” he explained, “You said your services were affordable, and I figured buying what I needed was too expensive for a one-time fix.”

“Ohhhhhh.”

Qiao Ling continued, gesturing toward both of them. “What do you guys think about getting him hired and helping out?” Just what he was thinking about earlier! Well, of course, that depended on whether Lu Guang wanted to. But it’d just make sense for him to.

“We’d get through work in half the time, so we’d get our services out to customers faster,” Qiao Ling continued, “And when there’s no rush, Cheng Xiaoshi wouldn’t have to worry about needing to rush to the grocery store and back, since you could take over.” 

She turned toward Lu Guang. “Since you’re already gonna be living here from now on, you wouldn’t have to worry about transport. I’ll pay you a good wage too. Interested?”

“Mm.” Lu Guang paused to think for a moment. “I’ll… consider it.”

“Ooh, now I get to hang out with someone,” Cheng Xiaoshi said, resting an arm over Lu Guang’s shoulder and pulling him in a little. “You better not slack off when I’m not watching.”

“I think I should be saying that to you.” Lu Guang tutted, prying his grasp off of him, though not fully. He didn’t bother with the rest.

”Hey,” Cheng Xiaoshi retorted, backing off. He brought his hands back to his hips, an offended expression spreading across his face. “I’ve been the one running the services the whole time! You’re not blind, I’m sure you can see how well I’ve been doing—”

His knowing gaze tore through his soul. He knew what he did, what he offered to do just days prior. 

‘How well he’s been doing’, his ass, he genuinely would’ve left the studio unmanned to meet up with him, if he hadn’t found out the guy hadn’t been going broke to stay at a hotel.

Well, anyway, it didn’t count if he didn’t really do it, right?

It was funny, though. How Lu Guang was keeping quiet about it. He totally seemed like the kind of guy to dob people in.

Lu Guang offered a light shrug. “...If you say so.”

Well, while he was distracted, eyes had laid on something he’d forgotten to keep hidden.

“By the way,” Qiao Ling questioned, inspecting it closer. “That egg carton you’re holding there… Why’s it soaking wet?”

Oh. 

He’d already been caught red–handed. Nothing to do left now, but—

“Run!”

“Cheng Xiaoshi! Get back here! This is the third time this month, dammit!”

“Fine, you can take the last egg, okay—”

“How the hell is one egg supposed to last a week?!”

Lu Guang.

He knew his cologne, the fragrance that danced around him every time he walked past. And he also knew that at some point, it had changed.

Well, he’d only really identified the switch recently, but he could tell. The reason? When he’d (literally) run into Lu Guang that day on the basketball court, he’d gotten close enough to get a hint of the scent. And there was a distinct difference between his old one and the one he was using then.

Lu Guang wasn’t one to change things up, sticking to the same routine, the same bubble tea order, the same everything. In that case, there must’ve been some sort of secret reason as to why he’d changed his cologne, right?

Really, the more he thought about it, the more it piqued his interest.

“By the way, what’s with your new cologne?”

Lu Guang looked away from the laptop perched on their desk and swivelled his chair for a quick glance at him. He lay lazily  on his bottom bunk, his hands cradling the back of his head.

“I’ve always used the same cologne, though?” he replied, the pitch of his voice creeping up towards the end.

It’d started as a statement, ended as a question.

He shook his head. “Nah, like, your old one smelled more minty and refreshing, y’know? But this one smells really sweet, sorta like fruit. It’s mountains away from the one you were using before.”

Lu Guang opened his mouth. Then, he closed it. 

He began looking at him with that scrutinising expression of his. Like a detective doing a double take, inspecting, closing in on a piece of evidence once overlooked.

“So you noticed?”

“I mean, yeah, duh?” He shrugged. “We literally live, eat, and sleep around each other. Daily. Of course I could tell.”

“Mm.” Lu Guang briefly acknowledged him with a hum, before directing his attention back towards his laptop.

He stared at him with bored eyes. His response was so dry—what was this, the Sahara desert?

Anyway, he didn’t answer his original question at all, had he? He only acknowledged him, not given him any information as to why he’d done it.

“Okay, wait, so why’d you change it, again?” he asked, trying to fish an answer out of the other. 

He didn’t receive a response. Lu Guang continued typing away at his keyboard.

In that case, he’ll just let his mouth run off until it annoyed him enough to give into him.

“Guangguanggg… You know, if you don’t tell me, I’m gonna tell Qiao Ling you changed it to impress some girlfriend of yours or something—”

Lu Guang choked at the last words. 

His eyes widened as he connected the dots. His back was torn off the mattress as he sat up straight.

“No way… Did you actually—”

Why was he surprised? Lu Guang was attractive, he couldn’t deny that. And they’d started their second year of university, for god's sake, it was completely normal for people to date at their age.

He was surprised he’d never mentioned this before, though. Was he keeping this a secret affair? Wait. Since when? 

He swallowed, before gasping in offence.

“Dude, you should’ve told me! I could’ve helped set you up sooner—”

Sooner, huh? Yeah, probably, actually.

Honestly, while Lu Guang has his looks, he couldn’t possibly imagine him being all romantic and lovey-dovey and bringing someone out on dates— 

Oh god, he really had to imagine that all with that classic, anime sparkle in his eyes, long eyelashes, roses everywhere kind of shit.

He almost burst out laughing.

Before he could further sink into his daydream, Lu Guang interrupted him.

“I don’t have a… You idiot. You’re… helpless.”

He barely managed to get his clarification out. His voice grew tighter, almost breathless, on the crisp of something. “It’s shampoo, not cologne.”

There it was. Lu Guang raised his elbow and lightly coughed into it.

He brought his fist to his lips and cleared his throat.

“Qiao Ling stocked up on a couple bottles when they were on sale. She had a lot, so she gave me one for free, and I figured I might as well use it.”

“Oh, okay.”

Wait. 

“Hold on. She only gave it to you and not me?”

Did he really care about the shampoo? No, not really. 

Did he care about the fact she only gave it to one of them, when with the way Lu Guang talked about it, she obviously had a whole load of them?

Absolutely.

“This is favouritism, Guang! How could she only give shampoo to you and not me? She’s only known you for a year, and I’ve known her for over a decade!” He sulked. “You should’ve told her to give some to me, tooooooo…”

Lu Guang scoffed.

“Each time you take a shower, you drown your hair in five days’ worth of it. You would’ve gone through the entire bottle in two weeks.”

He was left speechless at that comment. He wasn’t wrong.

Wait, hold on, how did he know about that—

Whatever. His priority was defending himself.

“Of course I need more shampoo! How else would I care for this—” He dramatically flicked his short, stubby ponytail to the side with the back of his hand. “Luscious hair of mine?”

Lu Guang rolled his eyes.

Cheng Xiaoshi. What a drama queen.

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m not sure where you heard about this ‘witch’, but we don’t offer services like that here.” Lu Guang bowed. “I’m afraid you’ve come to the wrong address.”

He raised his head, looking at the client, Jing You, with a blank face. 

This was a request that he just couldn’t accept. Not with Cheng Xiaoshi’s past experiences in dives like this one, and especially not considering where it took place. 

If he uncovered that investigation once more and reopened old wounds… who knows how much he’d be affected.

“Look, I spent the last of my savings for a flight back here, chasing the last lead I had. I’ve been searching for years,” Jing You emphasised, “Years, and I finally found a way. And now you’re telling me this bullshit?”

Jing You was persistent, stubborn. He refused to accept Lu Guang’s statement, instead pulling up an advertisement poster on his phone.

They’d taken down the original post and moved to a new account after Li Tianchen disappeared and Qian Jin was arrested… But looking at the date, Jing You had taken a screenshot of it before the deletion. And the location outlined on the poster? Time Photo Studio, located at XXX, XXXX, Guidu.

Jing You pointed an explicit finger at that very line.

“Don’t lie to me.”

It wasn’t a request; it was a threat. A threat to him, a threat to the studio, and a threat to his family.

He was momentarily left stunned at the action. 

This man hadn’t shown up in any of the past timelines before. Further interaction, taking his request, it would only throw the current one into disarray.

He didn’t know what to say. He’d tried everything. Told him this was likely to be a scam, that powers don’t exist, that they’re but a humble photo studio. Nothing worked.

He should keep this interaction in mind for the next timeline. Maybe he can figure out what to say by then.

But here, all he could do now was reject.

“I’m sorry, sir,” he apologised, bowing his head again. “We really can’t do anything about your situation—”

Jing You slammed his fist down on the counter. The action was just barely restrained, his hand clenching, the force not enough to break the piece of furniture. It was detrimental nonetheless. That bang—

Even if he was a deep sleeper, he’d surely have woken up by now.

“Sir,” he warned, “If your behaviour becomes physically aggressive, I’ll have no choice but to call the police.”

Jing You scrunched his eyebrows and withdrew his hand, picking it off the counter and slotting it away as he crossed his arms. “...Fine.

“But I’m not an idiot. I know you have her here, I know about those she’s helped, those she’s killed. Lend her to me, just this once. I don’t care what you want in return.” 

The words rolled off his tongue as his voice was stolen, taken over by desperation. “Money? Fame? I’ll sacrifice everything, I’ll go into debt, I’ll even break the law. I just want her.”

He knew this. He could see himself in him.

But in the end, he knew what must be done. This man’s regrets weren’t important. 

He didn’t want to get any more involved in this than he already has.

Steps echoed from the staircase. The creaking grew ever stronger.

Shoot, he’d taken too long.

“Lu Guang? You alright?” Cheng Xiaoshi called out, his voice dripping in a tired yawn, though still alert. “I thought I heard…”

~~~

His voice died down as an unfamiliar man, a customer, came into view. What was someone doing here at 1am? The studio had closed four hours ago. 

There was something about him that unsettled him. A look without even a hint of friendliness. An all-consuming desire clawing from his eyes, a fire that could wreak disaster. 

“The old, time-travelling witch,” the man questioned, his tone lined with tattered edges, like a criminal to a hostage. “You know something about her, don’t you?”

He was still asking about ‘her’. That meant Lu Guang hadn’t yet accepted his request.

And yet, he was still here.

He must be unwelcome.

His gaze flickered past the man and toward Lu guang, seeking confirmation. Lu Guang shook his head. Play along, he signalled.

That was the course of action that felt the safest.

“I’m sorry,” he apologised, “We’re a photo studio. We don’t offer, uh… divination services, if that’s what you’re looking for…?”

The fuse had been lit.

“You…”

But the light was put out soon enough. The customer sighed in deep frustration.

He must’ve realised, he was only ramming into a brick wall that wouldn’t back down.

With a glare, he stomped toward the exit, slamming the door behind him. Cheng Xiaoshi flinched at the sound.

And then, silence. The studio was frozen in time.

“What was that all about?”

The client should be well away from earshot by now, it should be safe to speak.

And it wasn’t difficult to see. There was something much deeper at play.

“It’s nothing,” Lu Guang told him. “Go back to sleep. It’s late.”

“Heyy!! No fair!”

Cheng Xiaoshi whined as Lu Guang pulled up another embarrassing video of him on his phone. This one, their last trip to the ice skating rink.

He waddled across the rink before slipping and falling backward. “I’m fine, give me a sec—” he said. He managed to get on his feet. He wobbled, slipped again. Got up. Fell. Had to inch his way back to the entrance on his ass.

Really, on ice, he was comparable to a baby deer learning to stand. His poor buttocks hit the ground seventeen times that day. The soreness, the bruises that appeared the following morning... Dammit, why did Lu Guang always have the perfect blackmail?

He tried to snatch the phone out of his hand. Meanwhile, Lu Guang held his arm up in the air, somehow succeeding in avoiding his attempts to grab it despite being two inches shorter than him. 

“How do you always happen to have your camera out at the worst times? I swear, if I like, seriously embarrassed myself in public, you wouldn’t even help me, you’d just take out your phone and film—”

“You look dumb.” Lu Guang looked at him, arms crossed, looking all nonchalant as always. “It’s funny.”

Oh, but he wasn’t blind. He could see it. That annoyingly amused glint dancing within muted eyes.

“You—”

The right corner of Lu Guang’s mouth twitched, ever so slightly. He knew he’d already won.

Cheng Xiaoshi pouted.

“I can’t believe this,” he spat, exasperated. “Qiao Ling keeps telling me to be like you—” He brought his hands up and made quotation marks with his fingers. “More ‘responsible’. And here you are, just—”

Then, the studio was plunged into a dark abyss. 

The lights all turned off simultaneously, as if they had a mind of their own, all conspiring to wreak havoc on them. There was no sunlight to offset it; sundown was half an hour ago. The same black had also engulfed the buildings across the street.

Lu Guang swiped upward on his phone and turned its flashlight on, shining it towards their feet.

“A power outage,” his steady voice noted, “I don’t think it was planned. I didn't get a text about it. Did you?”

Cheng Xiaoshi reached into the back pocket of his jeans and flicked his phone on. It strained his eyes. Bright. His eyes quickly scanned through his never-ending list of notifications, just to find… nothing. Nothing from their electricity provider, at least.

“I don't think so?”

He squinted. The bar in the upper right corner of his screen was at 14%. Shit, he should’ve charged earlier, when he had the chance. They didn’t even have a power bank…

Cheng Xiaoshi followed suit and turned on his phone’s flashlight, too. 

”I’ll go get the spare flashlights,” Lu Guang told him, behind the other source of light. “You stay here.”

Cheng Xiaoshi shone the flashlight at Lu Guang’s ankles, watching him walk over to the staircase. He slowly jogged over, joining him from behind. 

“Wait, no, I’m coming.”

Lu Guang paused at the bottom of the staircase until the other caught up. Then, they moved.

The steps creaked as the men placed their weight onto them. It was hard to trust they were stable enough to hold them up, like it’d crumble underneath their feet at any moment. It wasn’t like the creaking was anything new, but… the darkness. It made it feel unfamiliar, unsafe. 

In what felt like an eternity later, they finally made it to their room. Lu Guang squatted and reached into the corner of their dresser, his hand disappearing into the line of shirts, and pulling out a container. Their flashlights.

Lu Guang took one for himself while handing out the second to Cheng Xiaoshi. They switched the old for the new, their phones once again resting in their pockets.

“Oh, by the way~”

”Hm?”

Steps drew closer. Fingers intertwined around Lu Guang’s, in a firm, steady grip. 

“Now neither of us are gonna get lost,” Cheng Xiaoshi explained with a light voice, “Wouldn’t want you to stray off, would I?”

Lu Guang’s gaze flicked toward him, a knowing gaze in his eyes. He didn’t push his hand away, instead reciprocating and grasping his hand with just as much force.

Ah.

“...Mm.”

He could tell, couldn't he?

But for once, there was no need to hide it, to shield it. Lu Guang had already unravelled the layers, looked into the depths of his soul—and for once, he was okay with that.

Because in his eyes, laid not pity, not disgust; but an embrace. Someone who kept his promise.

Someone who understood, and despite it all, decided to stay.

Silence had nestled in the studio, its presence only momentarily disturbed by the rustling of a book’s pages flipped.

Cheng Xiaoshi had gone out for the day. A regular had come to them for a request—to be their photographer for a lavish, surprise party they were throwing for their 98-year-old grandma’s birthday. They wanted to document as much as they could before her age finally caught up to her… of course, Cheng Xiaoshi volunteered.

Lu Guang remained at the counter, picking up a mug that sat just to the side of his hand, tilting it to sip as the rim touched his lips. It was refreshing, the way the warm liquid cascaded down his throat, soothing it, calming it. 

He tried to read through a novel as he waited for the first few customers to roll in. 

Keyword: tried. 

Because he couldn’t focus on the letters on the page. The words were a blur. His eyes traced the lines, but his brain just couldn’t process them—

It was all because of that damn lightheadedness.

And then, he felt it bubbling up from his stomach.

It'd been getting worse lately, but at this rate…

The door opened. A familiar figure walked in.

“Qiao Ling,” Lu Guang greeted with a hoarse voice. Steam rose from his mug and bloomed over his eyes.

“Lu—” 

She cut herself off at the sight of his face. The white complexity that was only further highlighted by the light streaming in from the window. 

“You’re sick, aren’t you?” She furrowed her brows. “You’re looking pale…”

She sighed.

“Lu Guang, I already told you, you need to tell us when you’re not feeling well. If it’s just a little cough or something, then that’s okay, but god, you look like you really might faint any second now.” 

Her feet glided over to the cupboard in the kitchen, opening it and grabbing a couple bottles, before heading back. The tablets rattled in their respective containers as she took each step, ending as she set them down on the counter.

“Take some medicine and go rest. I’ll help out until Xiaoshi comes back, so don’t worry about the work.

“Now, how’re you feeling… headache, stomachache… hm, sore throat, maybe?”

Silence followed. Ever since she’d laid hands on the medicine, Lu Guang hadn’t moved, hadn’t even blinked. Was he sicker than she thought it was?

“Lu Guang?”

His eyes remained in a daze as he wobbled, his fingers clasping at the edge of the counter for stability, before slowly correcting his figure.

“Lu Guang.” This time, her voice was stern. “You need to take care of yourself. Rest. Now.”

“I’m… fine—”

~~~

Cheng Xiaoshi returned to the studio, taste of icing still sweet upon his tongue. The client’s family was generous enough to let him join the feast, where he helped himself to a bite of everything in sight—roasted duck, hotpot, beef… 

Well, he came out with a stomach of luxury, that was for sure.

Not to say he was a freeloader, of course. He paid back for it with five hours’ worth of content that the clients more than approved of.

What a shame, though. Now he had to return to his regular diet. Half of which consisted of instant noodles.

When he opened the door, he was greeted with a different face at the counter. Huh. Qiao Ling?

Oh, was Lu Guang actually taking a break for once?

After greeting her, he sluggishly threw himself onto the couch in the sunroom.

Cold gusts swept the outside, swaying the trees. Fog crept up the windows. When he was a kid, his fingers would dance upon those panels, tracing drawings of his childish fantasies… Now, he only watched as the translucence faded in and out.

He reached for the thick winter blanket that lay on the couch’s edge and pulled it over him. With the fabric not having warmed up yet, he only felt colder. If only they had a working heater…

Heater.

Heat.

Hot.

Hot shower?

Actually, a hot shower would be great! Off you go, numbness in his limbs!

Shivering (brrrr…), he left his warm haven and hurried to the dresser in his room, grabbing the first set of warm clothes he saw and making a beeline for the bathroom downstairs. The door, locked, the heater, turned on, the shower, on, and on the toilet seat he’s about to sit, doomscrolling until the water heated up.

But something was off.

His intuition only registered it when his clothed buttocks made contact with the seat. He could’ve sworn he saw a flash of something that didn’t belong.

And when he stood up once more, all was confirmed.

For his eyes looked down, and his pupils came face to face with a dazzling, vibrant red.

It painted the toilet bowl. Dripping into the centre, where scrunched-up balls of toilet paper were thrown in, drowning in the colour, taking it as its own.

And then, in his nostrils, bloomed the scent of rust.

Blood. It was blood.

And he didn’t like blood.

His vision flashed.

Lu Guang. Couch. Stained. Knife.

Dead?

The memory hadn’t lasted longer than a millisecond. It hadn’t even been long enough for him to make out any details past the silhouettes.

And yet, the feeling from back then lingered.

His nerves tingled on end. His eyes were brought to a daze. His breathing heightened, his heart beat out of his chest.

And oh, how he needed to run.

How he needed to protect.

Them.

The doorknob refused his sweaty, trembling hands. His fingers slipped off like it was oiled. He tried again. And again.

Success.

The door swung open with a boom, the knob crashing into the wall. 

His eyes darted to the counter. Qiao Ling. No knife.

Cool.

Where’s Lu Guang—

“Xiaoshi?” Qiao Ling asks, “What are you—”

Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood blood blood blood—

“There’s—"

He couldn’t hear his mutters over the ringing that pierced through his ears. 

Louder, he had to shout louder—

“‘...blood—”

Qiao Ling ran to him and took his shaking wrists into her hands. She tapped her fingers upon his skin, stimming in thought, the action somehow having an unintended therapeutic effect on him.

“Don’t worry. It’s okay. It’s… mine.”

“...Huh?”

“I’m on my period,” Qiao Ling averted her gaze and brought a hand to the back of her head. “….I forgot to flush it earlier. Sorry.”

“...Oh. Uh.” His breathing began to calm, his pulse taking its foot off the accelerator. The panic was stripped from him. Now it was replaced with an entirely different feeling. “...Darn?”

An awkward silence followed. He’d intruded on a topic that felt quite… private.

“Keep it down, by the way. Don’t wake Lu Guang up.”

Lu Guang? But he avoids sleeping like, like it’s the plague?

“...He’s sleeping already?”

“Yeah. He caught gastro from somewhere. Got so dizzy he could barely even walk,” she explained. “It took ages to convince him to go and rest.”

A sigh.

“Could you go easy on him for a while?” Her expression turned stern, but it reverted to gentleness after looking eyes with him, remembering the state he was in just a minute prior. “...No annoying him, you know.”

He gave her a nod.

“Good.”

Lu Guang worked so hard it was taking a toll on him… Maybe he should bring him out for a trip sometime. Give him a break. He needs it.

“By the way…” his quiet voice mentioned.

Was Qiao Ling gonna be in a bad mood now that she was on her you-know-what? He’d heard horror stories from friends about their girlfriends having intense mood swings or something…

If it made her a ticking timebomb…

“Do you wanna go out for bubble tea?”

“...Oh?” she leaned closer, a satisfied expression blooming across her face. “Maybe…”

Then he had no choice but to bribe her with her favourite drink.

“Oh wait. I can’t. If I let myself have it now, I’m gonna start craving it more…”

“Aren’t you on your… you know. You don’t have to be so strict with yourself on today of all days, you know?”

She sighed. A small smile crept onto her face. 

“...Huh. Alright.” 

She walked past him and pat him on the shoulder. 

“But you’re paying~”

“Prrr?”

Cheng Xiaoshi gasped in adoration.

“Prrr!”

The kitten trilled as it passed through the gap in the door and began snuggling its face into the side of his ankle.

He bent down on one knee and ran a finger along the brown stripes that lined the top of its head. The kitten closed its eyes, purring as his hand moved down the back of its neck.

“Awww,” he cooed, the pitch of his voice now high, “What are you doing here, little guy?”

He shifted his position and sat on the floor cross legged, his back a stopper keeping the door open, just in case the orange tabby changed its mind and wanted to leave. Though that didn’t seem to be the case, as the kitten laid on the floor in front and bared its underside to him, stretching its paws outward.

“Oh, nevermind, you’re a girl?”

He moved his palm to stroke its pale-coloured belly. Vibrations echoed from its underside as it continued purring.

“Where’d you come from? Don’t you have a home to go back to?”

Then again, it wasn't all that uncommon for owners to let their cats just wander around…

The kitten looked up at him with its bright, big eyes. Pleading to stick around, for some reason. 

Wait, since when could kittens have puppy eyes?

“Huh, you don’t have a collar,” he mumbled, as his finger tickled the side of its bare neck. “Are you a stray, then?”

The kitten chirped.

~~~

“Lu Guang, look!” he announced, holding the kitten triumphantly in the air. “Isn’t it just adorable?”

The white-haired man raised his back from the couch and raised an eyebrow. The kitten yawned, baring its small teeth and pink tongue.

The other sighed. “You want to keep it?”

“Mhm!” he hummed in delight. “Look, I know you’re not feeling that well, so I can handle everyt—”

“No.”

“...Huh?”

“We can’t keep it.

“Where did you get it?” Lu Guang’s eyes traced the kitten’s features.  “You didn’t pick it up from someone’s yard, did you?” He rested his head on his hand, pausing to breathe in and out. “It could be someone else’s—”

“What? Nahh.” He tickled its chin with a finger. “It doesn’t even have a collar. It came to the studio all on its own.”

The kitten nodded. “Mew.”

“It’s a big responsibility. Neither of us have taken care of a pet before, we don’t have the—”

“Aw, but just look at it!” He held it right in front of Lu Guang’s face, forcing him to look as it activated those puppy eyes once more, “Can’t you see how much it wants to stay with us? Guangguang??””

Lu Guang guided the kitten away from his face and shook his head. The kitten gave an angry hiss at him, swiping a paw at the white-haired man’s cheek (Don’t do that! You want him to like you!). 

Lu Guang leaned back onto the couch, his fingers rubbing circles into his temples, an annoyed expression creeping up on his face.

He took the kitten’s paw into his hand with a nervous chuckle.

“Can we at least keep it until we find someone who wants it, then? It’s late, we can’t just leave it out… Oh!

“How about this, we’ll keep it inside for tonight. I’ll ask the neighbours tomorrow morning and see if any of them want to take it in. That’s okay, right?”

Lu Guang turned away. Cheng Xiaoshi’s mouth twisted into a small frown as he fiddled with the kitten’s paw, waving it around.

“...Just one night. As long as you keep it downstairs.”

“Okay! Just one night, then!”

~~~

Okay.

Would someone care to explain—

What the hell was going on?

Because what do you mean Lu Guang was here, fawning over the kitten more than even he did?

By the time morning came, the guy had bought a litter box for it (“I found it on the side of the road,” he’d said), a box of cat toys (Okay, to be fair, the previous two were a given), and heck, he’d even gotten a cat tree (“The neighbours were giving one out for free,” he’d said).

The neighbours didn’t even have a cat!

Wasn’t he the one who said it could only stay for one night? Like, it wasn't like he was mad at him for having a soft spot for it, but what??

He’d even started calling it Elizabeth. Where’d he even get that name from… (Is all this why he heard him typing on his phone all night? He was looking up names and ordering stuff the whole time?)

Sigh…

Whatever. It was fine.

This side of him was kind of adorable, anyway. He was usually so serious. 

He squatted.

“Hi, little one~”

His finger reached out, aiming to scratch the kitten’s chin, the same spot it enjoyed before—

…Huh?

—Except it left him, instead walking off to snuggle against Lu Guang’s shoe. It opened up its belly to him, the white-haired man then slowly bending down and  giving it a rub.

Huh?!

~~~

“—g house?”

“Hm?” he asked her, a hand petting the kitten, who was all snuggled up in Lu Guang’s lap. “Qiao Ling, you say something?”

Lu Guang glared (Eh?) at her. She sighed and crossed her arms, shaking her head, looking disappointed (Wha??).

What was up with them? 

“Nevermind, it’s nothing. Have you two come up with a name for it yet?”

He looked back down at the kitten. It’d drifted into a soundless sleep..

“I find the name a little weird, but… Elizabeth.” He chuckled. “Kinda corny, isn’t it?”

~~~

“I really found it at the door of the studio…!”

Damn, he didn’t mean to— He really thought it was a stray!

「 “A family nearby lost their cat,” Qiao Ling announced, “They want us to look for clues using this…” 

And then, on that very photo.

“...Elizabeth?” 」

Lu Guang was lying on the couch, crossing his arms, facing away from him.

He couldn’t tell. Was he mad at him? Or…?

“Lu Guanggg, say something—”

Lu Guang remained still.

“...Let’s still call it Elizabeth, shall we?”

Oh. So he’d gotten attached. Aw, he was just sulking over it.

His eyes softened. The kitten stirred from its sleep and peeped from his cradling arms.

The family lived nearby, after all. They can visit it every once in a while, can't they?

“...Yeah. Let’s do that.”

Cheng Xiaoshi stared down at the water from over the ledge. Waves calmly lapped in the ocean below, sparkles of light reflecting off the top. 

The sky was clear, a warm gradient of yellows, oranges, and reds spreading across as the sun began to fall into its slumber. A gust pushed past him, a strand of hair pestering his face. He tucked it behind an ear with his hand.

Walking. He was a fan of it.

Of the way the cold breeze blew past his hair and rustled his clothes. Of the chatter of couples and families as they passed on by. Of the birds that chirped as they perched on tree branches hanging overhead.

Of how he could forget about his stress, his worries, and just lose himself in the environment around him.

This time, the streets led him to the local jetty. Instead of going near the end, where fishers gathered, he stopped by the railing near the start, leaning forward and admiring the view. The sunset that graced the skyline was captured in the click of a shutter.

He often kept his eye open for views like these. They were aesthetic. Did he ever use them? No. Were they just taking up storage on his phone? Probably.

But he liked doing it nonetheless. Just for the sake of it.

A woman shouted from a distance. He couldn’t make out her words over the background noise.

And then, it hit him.

He stumbled forward. His phone loosened itself from his grip, but he managed to catch it, just barely.

There it hung, the corner resting in between his index finger and thumb. Relief washed over him…

That was, until a strong gust of wind blew past him.

The device swung past his fingertips, knocked away and into that endless sea.

Stupid wind, he cursed in his mind, What did I ever do to deserve this?

Giving up on the device with a sigh, he looked behind at the culprit. A small bob of hair, a young boy that was barely half his height. The kid's hands rubbed his face, eyes squinting up at him.

Another second passed, and a woman in her late twenties came running after him.

“Ah, I’m so, so sorry about him! Are you okay, sir?” 

She bowed her head down to him, ushering to her son, a hand shifting him to bow along with her. “Xiao Ming, say sorry…”

The kid looked up at him. Seeing him tower over him, he shrank back a little. He bowed, his hands rigidly sticking to his side.

“I… I’m really sorry, mister.”

He looked pretty nervous, and he didn’t want to scare him more than he already has. Kids were like that, anyway. They made mistakes. Even expensive ones… He sighed.

“Hey, it’s alright, don’t worry.”

He bent down to pat him softly on the head. “Just make sure you keep your head up, mhm? You wanna be able to see where you’re going.”

The kid nodded, hair rubbing against his palm, strands fluffing up. He looked like a newborn duckling. How cute.

His mother watched from a distance with a thankful expression, and after exchanging a wave, they continued on their way.

Meanwhile, Cheng Xiaoshi pinpointed the point where his phone had dropped. A wooden pillar stood next to it—the sixth-furthest from the beginning of the jetty, he noted.

He made it onto the beach, his shoes meeting sand. He took them off. His socks, too. Then, he rolled up his jeans and sleeves and strided into the sea.

At least it was only in shallow water. It shouldn’t be hard to find it…

One, two minutes of digging in the waves, and fingertips brushed over something smooth. Not another rock, this time.

He pulled it out, and… thank god.

He turned on the power button, just to check whether it was still working. It was… well, kind of?

The screen flickered, showing neon pink, blue, and yellow lines before blacking out. He pressed the power button once more. Nothing.

He mashed the button like it were one on a game console… and still, nothing. The gods hadn’t answered his wishes.

What could’ve gone wrong…? 

He thought back to his knowledge on digital cameras. They were similar enough to phones, right?

Oh.

Oh, dammit.

Maybe Lu Guang wasn’t wrong when he’d call him an idiot.

Turning it on while it was still wet. He’d shorted it.

He’d taken it home, spent all night trying to get it to do something. In the end, his efforts couldn’t be exchanged for even a dime.

He sighed. Well, it was about time he got himself a new one, anyway.

That was why he was now here, at the mall. Riding down what he swore was the slowest escalator he’d ever ridden in his life.

Usually, he would’ve just skipped down the escalator, treating the steps like normal stairs but using their movement to boost his speed. Similar to the moving walkways at the airport that help you get to your terminal faster.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t do that. Why, might you ask? 

Well, he didn’t come here alone. And now, he’d have to wait for the person he’d come with (or, rather, came with him), because unfortunately, he was still in a frail state, and Qiao Ling would go snapping on and on at him if she found out he made him run up and down escalators just because he wanted to get around a little faster.

Look, he’d originally planned to go alone. But the moment he stepped out the front door, he’d found a certain someone already waiting there, arms crossed, sneakers on.

He'd first gotten his gastro on the 7th, and today was the 12th, so that was... five days ago? (is it supposed to last this long? He searched it up… well, apparently, it wasn't rare) and he still hadn’t fully recovered. He still gets tired, dizzy and out of breath easily… He’d just slow him down. And they weren’t stopping anywhere else but the phone store, so it wasn’t like he had anything to get out of it.

Or at least, that was what he tried to tell him.

“I haven’t been outside in a while,” he’d told him, “I need the vitamin D.”

It was a weak excuse, but for some reason, he just refused to budge. He couldn’t help but give into him in the end. Maybe his sickness was the culprit behind his sudden clinginess.

With the new, boxed phone hanging in a paper bag, they were well on their way back to the bus stop.

And then, he saw something that piqued his interest.

What was that? A commotion?

…No, he couldn’t call it that. Commotions were loud. The crowd down there was different, instead murmuring and whispering among each other.

It was weird. The people arranged themselves in a thick ring around the store’s entrance, a barrier unbroken. He couldn’t hear any buskers, any performances. The further down he rode, the more the inside of the shop came into view—no front display, either.

What were they all looking at?

A man with a navy blue cap walked out from the inside, turning left to right, pointing an object at different members of the crowd. He almost spontaneously settled on a single person.

His eyes widened. No—

Bang!

“I told you,” the dark-clothed man barked, “No calling security. You didn’t listen.”

A painful scream. The injured civilian crumpled to the floor, dropping their ringing phone to the floor and clutching their abdomen. Blood leaked out. The crowd abandoned them, the wall immediately parting like oil to water.

The man took long, confident strides to the phone and pressed a finger on the red button, ending the call.

Cheng Xiaoshi widened his stance and bent his knees, lowering his weight. He pushed off of his back leg, propelling his body forward, before a force tugged at his wrist. He looked back.

“I need to—”

”No,” Lu Guang interrupted him, in a stern, hushed whisper. “You don’t.”

He grasped at his wrist with both hands, leaning his weight as far back as he could. 

Unfortunately for him, he was already much weaker than usual. It wouldn’t have mattered even if he had been at full strength. He’d always been the stronger of them two.

He swiftly pried away from the other’s grasp using his free hand, succeeding relatively quickly and running off from his reach before he had a chance to cling onto him again.

“Ch— X–sh—!” 

An attempt to yell. He could only make out the consonants; the rest was inaudible. Lu Guang’s throat was still scratchy. The moment he raised it, strained it, it was all lost to the depths.

In all honesty, it made him feel bad. 

He promised he’d listen, that he’d follow his instructions. He wouldn’t get into trouble, he wouldn’t play hero again, he swore.

But those people? He couldn’t just leave them alone. Someone had to protect them, and if not him, then who?

He touched foot on the bottom stair of the escalator. With quiet steps, he swiftly, stealthily made it to the back of the crowd, weaving through it until he met the back of a woman in the frontmost line. Further inside the store, there were two retail assistants with their hands up, and another shot dead on the floor.

The terrorist continued to rotate, his eyes sweeping the crowd. At one point, he was looking in the opposite direction of Cheng Xiaoshi. His back was exposed. It gave him the perfect opportunity to strike.

And before long, he leapt onto his target, tackling him from behind.

But, shoot.

His figure was too well-built. He couldn’t get him off his feet.

He switched tactics.

His arms wrapped around the terrorist’s body, trapping his firing arm under his grasp and preventing him from waving the pistol around. 

The two of them fought tie to tie in a battle of strength. The terrorist wriggled around, elbows flinging backward to hit him in the ribs, trying to loosen the hold around him. 

He struggled his tight hold on him.

He was not letting him go free.

Eventually, the gun fell out of his grasp and onto the floor. He maneuvered the two of them so that he was the closest to the gun, and kicked it about a metre and a half away from them. The weapon skidded across the glossy, grey tiles of the floor.

With his eyes locked on the man’s nape, he called out to the crowd.

“Someone, call the police. Now.”

Beep, beep, beep. Three numbers were dialled, and the call began. The unsure voice of a middle-aged woman recounted their situation to the responder on the line. 

And then, all of a sudden, he was being steered into the shop. 

Shit, he'd still gotten distracted.

He placed a foot down in the way to stop the movement, but it was no use. He’d already given him an opening.

He was taken to the side of the store, where the perpetrator rammed him into the wall, crushing him like he was a bug. He stubbornly held on nonetheless.

What if letting go meant losing this opportunity? What if he couldn’t get this close in again?

But the pain. Oh, the pain. It blinded him.

His head hurt the worst. His skull ricocheted against the hard surface, he couldn’t think straight. 

The world turned blurry, foggy, dreamlike. His legs buckled, the dizziness swirling around him like a raging vortex.

Bang!

Through his hazed vision, red spilled down the side of the perpetrator’s thigh. Both their heads turned to the source of the bullet.

And then he saw him.

White hair. Light gray jacket. Sneakers.

…Lu Guang?

“Oh… you.”

The grip on him loosened somewhat as the terrorist’s attention shifted toward his partner.

The arm holding the gun moved upward, now aiming towards the terrorist’s head. 

And yet, instead of backing away, he only laughed.

Wiping a stray tear that escaped from his eye, the terrorist cackled. “...Lu Guang, was it?”

Who was this guy? How’d he know—

The grip returned. But this time, stronger. And this time, it was around his neck.

The terrorist’s cap fell off. And as his face was revealed—

~~~

Lu Guang’s eyes widened, his breath hitching. He fired another shot—he had to protect him, he had to—

And it missed.

A trembling wrist. Copper clashed with the shelves further behind.

The other man had an arm locked around Cheng Xiaoshi’s neck. Even though he had the gun, even though he would surely win in the end—

He didn’t care, did he. 

“Kill me if you want, send me to hell.”

He wasn’t going down without taking his partner with him.

He took another shot. Another miss.

The perpetrator looked down, tracing a devilish finger upon a jaw hung slightly open.

“But this guy… I see how you look at him.”

He took another step forward.

The man tightened his hold, and Cheng Xiaoshi started coughing.

“You should’ve done it when I gave you the chance.”

Coughs turned into gags. Cheng Xiaoshi struggled to free himself. 

He strained, he wheezed, and yet he sprinted with everything he had. He stumbled, almost falling forward. 

Not now—

The world spun around him, a blur of shapes fogging his view, a siren's song calling to him from the depths of his mind...

No. He shook it away. He had to stay awake.

Just five more steps—

Nowhere, yet everywhere, a single voice echoed.

“You took her away from me. Why can’t I do the same to you?”

His figure passed the checkout of the store, coming within five metres of his partner. Whose head dropped forward. Whose black bangs were now curtains shielding his eyes, his face.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He couldn’t— 

Fucking breathe.

Who was this guy?

Where did things go wrong?

Why was he still choking him?

He was already gone.

No.

He can’t do this.

He has to get rid of him.

He’ll live through this all again.

But next time, he’ll make sure it was just the two of them. 

And he’ll end it just like this—

The back of the terrorist’s head met gunpoint. 

And then, he shot.

The head dropped to the floor. His back followed. 

Warm blood gushed out of his head, staining his deep brown hair. Pooling below.

This metallic scent…

Maybe it’d never leave his side.

Bile rose from his stomach. Spilled from his mouth. Onto the ground.

He needed— A photo.

Where was his phone.

He had to go.

Now.

—Cough.

…What?

Cough, cough.

Oh god. 

He—

Steps stumbled to his side.

He fell to the ground. Sirens blazed in the distance.

He’s alive?

His forehead pressed against his knees. He curled inward.

He’s alive.

They were taken to the police station for questioning.

Cheng Xiaoshi was checked at the hospital first. Diagnosed with a concussion and discharged after being told to recover at home and avoid overexerting himself. 

Meanwhile, Lu Guang was held at the police station for nearly seven hours. He’d been released with only a warning; he was lucky there were multiple witnesses to testify for him and surveillance footage that painted his actions as nothing but self-defence.

Was he happy about that?

…He couldn’t tell.

Of course he didn’t want his best friend locked up. That was stupid, spiteful.

It was just. The way he was allowed to walk free, with no consequences, after stealing away something so invaluable—

He‘d taken someone’s life.

He peeked from behind the front seat, where the white-haired man sat, his hands resting gracefully in his lap. In his eyes and his actions, an absence of remorse. Like life was worth nothing to him, like he could trample upon it as if it were but an ant.

How could he be this cold-hearted?

How?

The taxi drew to a stop, parking at the studio’s front. He took his phone out and reached out toward the payment terminal, but Lu Guang beat him to it. A second of staring, before he took his hand back and pocketed the device.

He didn’t linger. He exited first, touching foot on the pathway, before meeting the door. The sign hanging from behind the window was flipped to closed.

Huh. Qiao Ling never did that.

His dulled hands hovered over the knob of the door and he made contact, the cold metal burning into his skin.

He opened the door to Qiao Ling sitting on the customer’s lounge, her arms crossed, her eyebrows furrowed in thought.

When they locked eyes, she walked over to him without a word, and used a hand to guide his head from side to side. 

“God.” She sighed in relief. “Captain Xiao told me about everything. You two… are you okay?”

“Well… yeah?”

Qiao Ling’s hand wandered to the back of his head. His nerves cried out in suspense. That spot—

“Wait, hey, not there—!”

It was still sensitive.

Qiao Ling flinched and withdrew at the snapping voice. This gentleness, this lack of an edge—this wasn’t familiar at all.

It wasn’t a look that suited the her that he knew. 

Before he could clarify that in fact, he was fine, and it was just some stupid injury he’d gotten from being rammed into the wall (Wait… wouldn’t that make it sound worse?), the door opened.

His figure shot up straight. He had to go.

“Actually, you know what, I’m feeling really, really tired, ehehe…” He gave her an overly tired chuckle—which wasn't entirely fake, mind you, he was genuinely exhausted... “The hospital was just… tiring. And then the police put me through this long questioning process… Yeah.”

He excused himself, feet already retreating. “I think I’m just gonna go to bed early. Goodnight!”

His figure dipped away and skipped up the staircase. Lu Guang, who’d only just joined from behind, watched with Qiao Ling as the other ducked away. No words immediately acknowledged the void that Cheng Xiaoshi’s absence left behind.

Qiao Ling broke their temporary silence, seeing as Lu Guang wasn’t going to.

“He’s avoiding you again.”

“...I know.”

He sounded okay with it. That was the most concerning part of it all.

He wasn’t. And he obviously hadn’t been for a long, long time.

If only he’d just open up for once. If only she wouldn’t have to read between the lines and pry the information out of him each and every time.

Well. His sea of secrets was probably much deeper than she could ever imagine.

“Look, I can’t say what you did was right. Back there.” 

Lu Guang hummed in response.

“But.” 

Qiao Ling turned to face him.

“You saved him. That…”

The words were lost in her throat before she could finish.

“...Ah.”

~~~

The next morning dawned with silence. Not a word was shared between him and Lu Guang.

He wasn’t planning on starting a conversation with him. And Lu Guang didn’t seem inclined enough to be the one to take initiative, so…

It looked like they were back to doing this again, huh.

How long would it last? How long would he have to wait under the covers to get up until he knew he’d gone, to duck out of every room they shared?

Not forever, he knew that. He’d have to accept this eventually. Just… not yet.

Because every time he thought back to the day before, even if he wasn’t there to see it. He couldn’t help but see Lu Guang as a murderer.

A cold-blooded murderer.

This time, he ordered takeout for breakfast instead of cooking. No one complained. And yet, somehow, even Qiao Ling’s worst wrath was incomparable to the silence that engulfed the dining table.

They’d finished up, left their dishes in the sink for another time. And then, they continued working the roles they always did: Qiao Ling handling the advertising on social media, Lu Guang dealing with customers at the counter, and him, developing photos in the darkroom.

He went through the pile that built up from over the past couple days. Loaded the photos into the light-proof tank, poured in the developing chemicals, put them in a stop bath. Added in the fixer. Rinse and repeat.

His muscle memory was good, too good. It was efficient, sure. The problem: it was nowhere near a good enough distraction.

The more he tried to push his thoughts away, the less it worked, and the longer each second stretched. Each one growing longer, until each second was as long as eternity; as time itself.

And then, time snapped.

The pile had vanished. The whiplash of their disappearance brought him back into reality, put the seconds back in their place.

His eyes flicked to the other end of the bench. The unprocessed photos had migrated to join the collection of developed ones without him even realising.

So time can move fast and slow at the same time, huh.

He opened past the door, peeking past that man’s figure and toward the counter. It was clear. No more cameras to fix, no more photos to develop, and no more to do.

With his eyes trained on the path in front, he stalked over to the sunroom and lounged on the couch. 

Well, if he had nothing else to do, it was about time he finished setting up his new phone.

~~~

“I can do it myself.”

He was at the kitchen counter, slicing carrots with a knife. 

The sun had already set, so he figured it was about time he started cooking dinner. Lu Guang had spoken to him for the first time today, offering to help with the fish. Usually, he’d appreciate it, since he wasn’t a fan of the smell or slimy texture.

This time was different. He didn’t want it. He didn’t want anything to do with him at all.

Despite not accepting his help, the white-haired man remained behind him, distantly observing as he continued julienning the carrots. He stopped and put the knife side down on the chopping board, his head turning to the side to respond, yet not turning quite far enough to hold eye contact with him.

“What do you want?”

His voice was sharp, pointed at him like a dagger. It was threatening, yet somewhat controlled—the swipe of the blade just enough to graze him without serious injury.

Still no response.

“Look, if you’re just going to stand there—”

“...I just thought I’d help.”

"—then you should…”

His voice trailed off, a sigh of frustration overtaking his voice. He turned to face the man head-on

“I don’t want your help.”

“...”

“Look, you, you tried to ‘help’ me yesterday.” 

Something flickered in his eyes. “And then you killed someone.”

Silence was the only response he received.

His voice might not have been raised, but the tone he carried said it all for him.

Originally, he didn’t mean to spark anything. He meant to put it all aside, to ignore everything until he stopped feeling so damn shitty. 

Instead, it only bubbled until it burst out.

There was no going back.

“If it were anything else, I would’ve understood.”

He could feel his eyes becoming glossy. He closed them to stop them from watering further.

His voice broke.

“But out of everything you could’ve done… You chose to shoot him in the head.”

In turn, Lu Guang’s heart was shattered, ripped out of his chest and strewn onto the floor. 

“I’m sorry.”

He opened his eyes and looked at him in bewilderment. Tears of frustration, hurt, confusion; it all threatened to drop past his eyelashes and stain his sunkissed, rosy cheeks.

“But I didn’t have a choice,” Lu Guang told him, “He had his arms around your neck. He was hurting you. You could’ve died—”

He bound his hand around his right wrist, just above his watch. The tone of his voice, a surrender; one that attempted to mask the screams of desperation lurking in the background.

“I couldn’t wait. It was either him or you.”

He was at a loss for words. The self-conflict had come back for a second round, and this time, it was worse. He couldn’t bring himself to respond, couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge.

That Lu Guang wasn’t wrong.

That if he hadn’t gone and done the wrong thing, he wouldn’t know if he’d come out of yesterday with just a couple bruise marks lining his head and throat.

“I don’t even know anymore,” he muttered, under his breath. He wiped his sleeve over his eyes and walked to the studio’s front door, briefly stopping as his fingers grasped the handle. 

He didn’t look back.

“I’m… going on a walk.”

A single step, and he was gone.

It was peaceful, quiet.

The city lights fought the pitch black of the sky, illuminating the night for the wanderers who strayed from home.

Crickets chirped from the bushes. It was mating season for them, September. They were going out, finding love, having children. Not getting into arguments.

His steps traced the sidewalk. 

A destination? He didn’t have one.

He didn’t know where he wanted to go. Only where he didn’t want to be.

It was okay. It wasn't like he could get lost, anyway. He knew the neighbourhood like the back of his hand. And he had his phone with him. He’d be fine.

He turned on his phone’s lockscreen. 7:56pm.

Hunger gnawed at him from within, a growl rumbling his empty stomach. And then, there was the cold.

It bit into his skin. He’d forgotten to grab a coat before walking out.

He pushed through, ignored it all.

He’d left in the middle of making dinner. He was on cooking duty tonight, and even if he didn’t particularly have the urge to get something for himself at the moment, their food was still his responsibility.

Ah. He could just grab takeout again and leave it out on the table. Dinner sorted, no need to worry.

Who cared if he emptied his wallet doing this, anyway.

His steps paused at the curbside of the road, his gaze sweeping upwards.

Wait, was that…?

He crossed the street. Bark chips met the soles of his sneakers. The old playground that his parents would bring him to as a kid, it was here.

Ah.

He strolled over to the swing, sitting down on it. His hands lightly grasped the metal chains on either side of him, his legs rocking him back and forth. The chains clinked, the hinge cried.

His parents.

The bitterness had consumed his adolescent years. Not of them, no. But rather, the bitter loneliness, the self-isolation. The half of him who wanted to wait, to continue hoping; and the other half of him that whispered, it was time to move on.

Ten years spent in limbo. A childhood friend that remained through the messiness, through the rebellion that was his teenage years. Whose family welcomed him with open arms, who supported him and guided him until he was strong enough to walk on his own.

And then, another. Someone who slipped into his life; a bond that reached past just that of classmates, or friends of friends.

Someone who cared.

For once, he didn’t have to long for a family he never had, because… he already had one.

Yeah. He already had them—

So why was he here?

Shattering it all, for something that was his fault.

The terrorist was in a coma now. Scheduled to get his organs taken out and donated. Maybe if Lu Guang hadn’t made that decision, he’d be the one in that position.

Unless, maybe, there was another way?

You see, he and the terrorist… they’ve met before.

When he first saw him, he could’ve sworn something about him was familiar. Later on, it turned out his hunch was right.

His name: Jing You.

He’d come to the studio before. Left quite the impression, with his shouting and his fist slamming.

…How did that turn into this?

He heard the story from the police officer on duty yesterday evening. He’d lost a fiancée to a fire a decade ago. He’d come to them, wanting them to change the past back then, get her…

Oh.

He must’ve wanted to save her.

If he went back and got Lu Guang to accept that request, would things have been different?

Would Jing You still have shot people? Would he still be brain dead? Would Lu Guang have needed to get his hands dirty?

…Who was he kidding?

Lu Guang would know.

And knowing him, he wouldn’t budge. No, hell, he’d get mad at him for tempering with the timeline, even if it was for a good reason. Even if he saved lives in the process.

Either he does this alone, or he doesn’t at all.

But he doesn’t want to do this alone. Each time he’s dived back without Lu Guang to tell him what to do, something’s gone wrong. Emma’s death. Lu Guang’s kidnapping.

It was like things would only work out when Lu Guang was there to guide him.

It was like he could only go back when Lu Guang was there to guide him.

…He definitely needed Lu Guang to guide him.

God, at this point, he should just go back and apologise…

Grumble.

…And get some dinner, too.

~~~

A thin, plastic bag hung from his hand, three rectangular containers weighing it down.

The restaurant he’d stopped by was kind of nice, it was near the studio, and the prices were affordable. And for those who came on their birthday, you could have unlimited free cake? What a deal!

He snapped a photo for later. Lu Guang’s birthday was next month, it was perfect. Why would he say no to saving more money? (He really needs to find ways to make room in his budget after spending so much on takeaway nowadays…)

Yeah. Lu Guang’s birthday. It was a month and a half away. That was more than enough time to make up with him.

Walk down the street until he meets the intersection. Press the button on the traffic light, and cross to his right…

There it was. Time Photo Studio

The lush green door confronted him before he could Lu Guang. When had it become so big, so menacing?

He slipped a hand onto the knob, stood there for a while. Maybe he should go back and keep lingering. You know, what if he’d made Lu Guang upset, or mad, or something? Maybe he should just wait until things settle, sneak in when Lu Guang falls asleep or something…

…Stupid brain, stupid excuses. The easy way out was rarely ever the best way out. Besides, what was he gonna do with the food he bought if everyone was sleeping?

He took a breath and turned the knob. Peeked through the little gap in the door, just to see if Lu Guang was there. Part of him hoped he wasn’t.

It turned out, he was. Just not in the way he’d expected.

He knew that figure, the clothes he wore, how his back looked. There was no way he’d mistake it for someone else, even from a distance.

Then why was he on the ground like that?

A panicked voice came from further back. Qiao Ling.

“I don’t know, there’s a lot of blood—”

Blood?

He threw the door open. Qiao Ling paused midway through her sentence, her head whipping toward him, her phone harshly pressed against her ear.

Pure silence.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and continued to the person on the other end, this time communicating in a more contained manner.

“Is there anything I can do?” she asked, with the steadiest voice she could manage.

A male voice replied over the phone. He couldn’t make out the words. He could only watch in horror at the sight before him.

Lu Guang, on his knees, lurching forward. And from his mouth, spilled blood.

The red liquid escaped his mouth, leaking out from between his fingers and trailing down his forearm. His grey sleeve, forever stained. His eyes were squeezed shut, his neck was draped with sweat, his arm clutching the ground to keep him upright.

His back heaved up and down in between painful coughs. In one of his rare moments of respite, his eyes moved up to meet his, before deflecting towards the ground.

“What the hell.”

The words came out without conscious thought. The plastic bag, left forgotten by the door of the studio.

“Oh, god,” he muttered, “Lu Guang—”

He kneeled down in front of his best friend and tugged at his shoulders. He flinched when his inspection was interrupted by a coughing fit. One that looked like it hurt.

More of that sickly red liquid spilled out warm, dropping onto the floor.

Blood everywhere, blood.

Blood, blood, blood.

Why. Wouldn't. He. Stop?

Qiao Ling rushed behind him and bent down, the heel of her palm hitting his upper back. Back blows. Good for choking.

“The ambulance,” she said, as she continued her firm strikes. “It’s on its way.”

Her gaze flicked away from Lu Guang’s back and towards him. Her face, her eyes, sunken deep in an expression that he couldn’t understand.

With a final retch, Lu Guang coughed something—no, several things—up and spat them out into his hand. His eyes narrowed at them, his fingers curling around them. They were dropped, discarded to the ground, adding to an ever growing mound. 

Whatever it was, it looked like crumpled blue confetti. Confetti that drowned in saliva and blood. 

Then, from the distance, blared sirens. And for the first time in a while, these sirens brought relief.

Help. They could help.

Red, blue.

Flashing lights poured in through the windows. A vehicle parked in front. Qiao Ling moved to open the door and direct the personnel inside.

The two paramedics walked through the doorframe, donning blue, latex gloves. Their eyes scanned the scene, and the exchanged a sharp look.

They separated; one of them stepped forward to help Lu Guang while the other greeted Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi.

“I’m Zhang Jinhua, and this is Wang Jing,” Zhang Jinhua gestured to his partner as the other began his work.

Wang Jing got Lu Guang sitting up, his torso leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. A suction whirred, an oxygen mask placed over his mouth. The tense crease in between his eyebrows softened just a little.

“We were briefed on the way here, so we’ve got a rough idea of what’s going on. I just need to ask a couple questions to confirm things,” Zhang Jinhua said, with his straightforward, steady voice. 

Qiao Ling nodded.

“Do you know how long he’s had the hanahaki?”

Cheng Xiaoshi sent an unsure glance toward Qiao Ling. He’d never even heard of it before.

“At least two, three years… it’s only gotten this bad recently, though,” Qiao Ling responded.

He didn’t know, but she did?

Zhang Jinhua focused his questions on Qiao Ling after noticing she was the one with the answers.

“How long’s it been since he started coughing full flowers?”

“A couple days, I think.”

“Has he fainted before?”

“Yeah, twice.”

“What about surgery? Has he looked at getting it?”

His initial questions ended, and the two paramedics worked together to get Lu Guang onto the stretcher. The straps buckled over him with a soft click, and wheels rushed out the door, loaded into the back of the ambulance.

Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling were welcomed onboard, and soon enough, the vehicle sped up and away from the studio.

On the outside, sirens boomed. And yet, the inside was engulfed in a painful silence. 

It wasn’t long before it was interrupted.

“Qiao Ling.”

She knew about the illness long before he did. And she chose not to tell him.

He didn’t hate her for it, he could never. But even if she had her reasons, helping keep a secret that could lead to a situation as serious as this?

Maybe she should’ve.

Maybe he could’ve done something. To help. To take care of him sooner.

“Yeah?”

“Hanahaki,” he asked, “What is it?”

Could he search it up? Yes. But he wanted to hear the answer come from her lips.

Why was Lu Guang coughing blood? And… whatever that thing is? 

Because there was simply no way Lu Guang ate confetti in the thirty minutes he was gone from the studio.

She stalled. Her expression was unsure, contemplative. 

“...A disease.”

Her words, carefully chosen, mulled over. Vague.

“So it’s a disease,” he repeated, “What else?”

She sighed, not in annoyance, but a surrender. She looked uncomfortable, jumpy, guilty about not telling him sooner.

In the end, the dam spilled over. The water won.

“He loves someone, and he doesn’t believe that person should love him back. And it’s killing him.”

Qiao Ling told him everything.

Abou hanahaki, a fatal disease caused by unrequited love. The surgery that could save him from the flowers. Her attempts to get him to undergo the operation. His stubborn refusal.

Well, she’d spilled almost everything. There was just one more thing missing.

And he didn’t need her to say it. He didn’t want her to. Because if she did, then it meant it was true.

The feeling bound him to his chair, it turned his legs to lead. The waiting room consumed him whole. 

His back slumped forward, his elbows stood against his thighs. His fingers dug into his skull, the grip a leash trying to keep his mind tied to the ground.

It wasn’t exactly working all that well.

New steps echoed down the white, sterile hallway. A man in blue scrubs revealed himself, travelling across the room and calling out toward him and Qiao Ling.

“You two are friends of Mr. Guang, correct?”

His head shot up at the mention of Lu Guang’s name. But his body betrayed any further intentions to move.

Silence.

Qiao Ling covered for him from her chair.

“Yeah. Is… is he alright?”

Her voice was unsure. Hopeful, but not certain.

“Here, follow me. Let’s talk when we get there.” 

As instructed, he and Qiao Ling tagged behind the doctor’s long strides. They passed by each ward. The first one was open, its mattress empty. The next three were shielded by white blinds.

The physician’s footsteps paused.

“Right this way.”

He pushed the curtain of one ward to the side and guided them both in.

That was when he saw him.

Laid out on the hospital bed, his dull face shined by the LED light hanging overhead. His eyes dusted shut, his face covered by the oxygen mask. A beeping heart monitor to the side of his bed. A tube stemming in between his ribs, leading to a collection chamber, where a small but growing mass of petals, saliva and blood accumulated. 

“Oh, by the way,” he mentioned, “I have a student doctor with me. Would it be okay if she supervises?”

The doctor’s gaze swept across the ward. After receiving a nod from each of the trio, he opened the blinds and welcomed the second doctor in with him.

Wait. What?

“Hold on, Lu Guang, you’re awake?” he blurted out.

He wasn’t asleep, or knocked out, or on sedatives or something?

Lu Guang gave him a wordless, slow nod. The lower half of his face was covered by the oxygen mask, leaving nothing in sight but his muted, gray eyes.

He was okay.

“Thank god.”

Lu Guang’s hands caught his sheets in a light grasp.

“Dammit, you actually scared me…” He ran a hand through his hair, something, anything to distract him. “I really thought you…”

He was interrupted by the sounds of metal scraping against metal. His eyes flicked back toward the blind. When he wasn’t looking, Qiao Ling had moved back toward the curtain, a hand curling against the fabric.

“I think I’ll give you two some privacy,” she told him, “You guys, you should sort this out.”

“Wait, what—”

Too late. She stepped back, pulling the curtain back over. Her receding steps grew ever quieter in the distance.

A hushed conversation, and the two doctors followed suit and bowed themselves out, assuring them they’d linger nearby and that they’d check up on them later.

The two that remained were enveloped in an awkward silence. 

The only things interrupting it were the beeping of the monitor and the sound of each breath taken as it passed in and out the mask.

It felt like the equivalent of crickets chirping and mocking the two of them.

“So, uh…” 

The words lingered on Cheng Xiaoshi’s lips. Lu Guang’s gaze was called toward his feet, avoiding his face, before his head flicked away. His eyes grazed the box of face masks attached to the wall.

Deep breath in. Breathe out.

The line that had echoed in his mind since the ambulance was finally given a voice, the fact falling out his mouth just like the petals from Lu Guang’s lips.

“You love someone.”

Lu Guang’s gaze drifted toward the vomit bags that hung against the wall’s plaster.

“Who?” 

Truth be told, he already knew. But he just wanted to hope, he just wanted to believe.

That maybe, he’d gotten it all wrong. Maybe this wasn’t his fault. Maybe he wasn’t the one who’d been digging that knife into him this whole time, the one that’s been chipping away at Lu Guang until he was here.

In the hospital. On life support.

“Lu Guang, look at me,” he begged. “Please?”

Lu Guang’s pupils slowly inched in his direction. From the vomit bags, to the fire extinguisher, to the corner of the bedframe. To him. 

Their eyes met. 

Only then did he notice just how war torn his gaze was. The dark circles that weighed it down—how they weren’t from just staying up too late, but from pure exhaustion. The endless sea of sorrow that lurked behind closed doors, that never met the light until those very doors fell into ruin.

Only then, did he understand the emotion behind that gaze of his. A hidden letter held in his eyes since the very beginning, one that had taken years for him to finally decipher—

It had been yearning, all along.

Though his feet were bound to the ground, he pushed forward. Dragged his weary feet across the cold floor.

“Move over.”

Lu Guang weakly shuffled to one side of the bed. He crawled under the sheets into the space that he’d given him, curling up next to him, snuggling next to his chest. 

This was their normal routine after a nightmare. His way of seeking comfort.

And now, he just wanted to hope this was all just a nightmare.

That he’d wake up in the morning, Lu Guang still at his side, holding him until the scenes that haunted his dreams became but a wisp of thought once held by his mind, soon to be forgotten in time for another day.

His eyes drifted shut. The exhaustion from the past two days finally crept up on him, his consciousness leaving him in exchange for sleep.

And then, black.

~~~

When he woke up, the first sound that his ears registered was a beep.

A single, continuous—