Chapter Text
Chapter 1
“Why don’t you find yourself a girlfriend and get laid!” Was not something I wanted to hear form my dad the moment I walked down the stairs. Ever since I turned sixteen about half a year ago, he has been prying more about my sex life than ever. He started annoying me about becoming ‘a man’ when I started high school. Apparently the moment you start puberty is the moment you become a man and in order to become one, you need sex. This is how my dad thinks. Great.
“Fuck off!” Is what I yell back from the kitchen where I get myself some water since the only beverages in this forsaken house is beer and whisky. Not even some soda. I spy some loose change on the counter and snatch those. He won’t miss the money and otherwise it will just result in the usual yelling and occasional punch in the gut. I can take it.
I hear his disgusting laughter emerge from the living room where he watches his dumb sports. He used to beat me up way more, enough to leave my torso covered in bruises and scars. Making me into a man was always his excuse. Beating the weak out of me. If it did one thing, it wasn’t necessarily making me stronger. More afraid, so I started working out excessively in hope to intimidate him. Not sure if it’s doing anything, but he does like the fact I started working out years ago, making me more of a man.
Our kitchen is tiny, just like the rest of the house, but it doesn’t matter to me at all. Everything here is dirty, sticky and I don’t even know what kind of green thing is growing in the corner. How we don’t get sick is a miracle in my opinion, because even my dumb brain can comprehend this is not a healthy environment.
When my mother was still alive, the kitchen was beautiful in a way. The wallpaper was a nice soft green with lilac flowers imprinted on it. Now there is barely any of her trace left as dad purposely bleached out the wallpaper, since it’s too feminine. It’s bleak and yellow as there is constant smoking in the house now.
When she died he started to get rid of many things which reminded him of her. Smashing stuff, burning her clothes and getting rid of anything he deemed not fit for a house with men. No, mold is a great decoration. Unfortunately I’m also one of the things that remind him of her, since my face is an exact copy of hers.
Dad is sneaky, which is always a surprise to me as he is mostly drunk or tipsy all the time. He grabs my chin the moment I walk out of the kitchen almost making me drop my glass of water; my breakfast. His fingers dig hard into my cheeks and it hurts, but I pretend to not notice. I grab his wrist and squeeze hard in the hope he lets go. He huffs and unfortunately my youthful strength is still not enough to outdo him as he forces me easily against the wall, hitting my head in the process. I grunt in annoyance as my head throbs.
“The fuck was that for!?” I yell, but my voice comes out higher pitched.
He ignores me for a bit to grab a beer and only after he opened it and taken a sip he answers me. “Your face annoyed me. Your hair is too long, you should cut it. Or do you aspire to become a woman? Is that why you haven’t had sex yet?”
“The hair stays.” I grit my teeth as I run a hand through my locks. I had started to grow it out a bit and now it’s a nice length, reaching the base of my neck with a good undercut.
“Too feminine. You’ll end up a faggot.” He spats out the slur.
“I’m not fucking gay! It’s just hair.” I yell back.
I sigh and drink my breakfast, the pathetic glass of water to fill my empty stomach. He believes anything makes a man gay these days. Certain types of shows, drinks, clothes, you name it. Anything a woman enjoys cannot be enjoyed by a man, because that is gay. Fuck all those rules. I don’t fucking care.
My dad shakes his head in disbelief. “Make sure you get a girlfriend.” He growls at me, the threat obvious. I want to say I’m unaffected, but my body sends a shiver down my spine. If I don’t find myself a girlfriend soon he will beat the gay out of me despite my protests of not being gay in the first place. Also, not how it fucking works, even I know that.
I slam the door when I go outside and kick the bushes which have done nothing wrong, but fuck them; ripping some flowers off. I sling my backpack over my shoulder. Time for another shitty school day, but this the only place I can kind of go to that isn’t home, besides hanging out with my friends, or Charlotte’s place.
My head is fucking throbbing, just great. I rub the back and feel a small bump. Did he really have to slam me so hard against the wall, because he can’t stand my hair?
I guess my goal today is getting a girlfriend and making sure my father at least sees her once, so he knows she exists. Then he’ll probably play the ‘dad of the year’ and give his son some condoms. Getting the girlfriend part is not that difficult for me. I’m popular, dreadfully so, for multiple reasons. Girls find me hot, boys find me a threat and mostly stay clear from me and teachers fucking hate me.
Do I care though? No. I hate those girls who want me. They are annoying to me, loud, clingy, talk too much. I might be able to get one of them for a hook-up and then ditch her. Could fool my dad for a while. If I get the sex out of the way, he will be pleased for at least a month or so.
I missed the bus and the next one isn’t for an hour, so walking to school it is. With the money I snatched I can at least buy myself a fucking meal before school. Don’t have to steal it this time. Of course in the store I realise I don’t have enough money, so I buy a small bar of candy and put some cigarettes and snacks into my bag. How I get away with it so easily I don’t know. Maybe because I’m not acting suspicious. Doesn’t mean I never got caught. Had the police call my house plenty of times which resulted in my dad beating me up and telling me to get a job. I’ll find one, along with a girlfriend.
At school it appears to be lunch time already; it’s quite a walk when you miss the bus. But when your mind is occupied it goes faster than you think and before you know it, the stupidly huge building comes in few. I would love to call it a prison, but it’s more freeing for me than my own house.
A guy bumps into me, but since I’m a rather tall brick wall they bounce a bit backwards. I turn around and glare at the unfortunate soul who dares to not use his eyes. The guy realises his mistake and apologizes. I’m already in a bad mood and I don’t need this today, so I grab his collar and shove him harshly to the ground.
“Well, aren’t you in a good mood?” I hear a soft voice. I sigh, forgetting the boy entirely and turn my attention to the source of the sound; my friend, Luna.
I roll my eyes. “It’s just my dad. Ruining my morning with his usual lectures.”
My friends know the gist of my home situation, but they don’t know all of it. I never told them about some serious injuries he gave me when I was younger. And they believe most of my scars are just from me being a stupid kid doing stupid shit. Trying to skateboard from the roof out of my window being one of the things I made up and somehow they believe it. Broke my foot and got a giant scar on my back from it. In reality, my dad smashed one of mom’s plates from her collection onto my back, a piece cutting into my flesh. And I broke my foot when he tossed me down the stairs.
“People should know better than to bump into you.” Luna says, chewing her gum loudly.
It annoys me. I grab her chin, not too harshly and lean down, planting my lips onto hers. In shock she stopped chewing which made it easy for me to take the piece of gum with my tongue. When I lean back her eyes are wide and when realisation hit, her cheeks flare up.
“What was that for!?” She asks as she bumps my chest.
I shrug my shoulders and walk away, leaving her there until she runs after me again.
“That’s not an answer, and if you wanted gum you can just ask.” She huffs.
“It’s just a kiss and don’t tell me you didn’t like it.” I chew the not so tasteful gum. How long has she been chewing on this?
“You’re an ass.” She bumps my arm playfully. “Give me the gum though.”
It’s awful anyway, so I place the more chewed piece of gum into her hand. She smirks as she tiptoes to the boy who bumped into me before and neatly places it into his hair. My friends sure like to do pranks like these. I don’t care much about it. I just want people to fuck off and leave me alone. It’s their fault for not standing up for themselves. They are just weak. Luna laughs at the misfortune when the boy discovers the gum in his hair. He turns around and our eyes meet and then he swiftly walks away.
Luna comes back with a cheerful grin and I can’t help but smile at her.
“Glad that made you smile.” She says.
“Yeah, his face was hilarious.”
Luna is a good girl and I definitely don’t want to make her into a target for my dad. I ruffle her hair and decided she isn’t going to be the one to become my girlfriend. Or rather, my sex friend. I have no interest in being all romantic with someone.
“You missed like half the day already.” Luna says as she fixes her hair.
As if I could give a shit about that, so I shrug it off.
“Char was already worried, so she took some notes for you.” Luna adds.
Charlotte is another good friend of mine. More sporty than Luna. She likes to wear sweatpants more and jackets while Luna often wears short skirts and dresses, making her thighs stand out more.
“Thanks.” I mutter.
“Shouldn’t thank me.” She chuckles.
We walk until we reach the back entrance, which leads us to a giant grass field and in the far left corner, close to the gym is our favourite spot. The spot designated to the misfits, the outcasts, the children teachers hate the most. In other words, me and my friends.
“Look who decided to show up. Not dead yet?” Moz asks.
I kick his leg and throw my backpack on the ground. I drop on the grass and dig through it for the snacks I stole. I throw a candy bar at Charlotte who catches it.
“For the notes.” I mumble.
She grins as she opens her price and devours it. Moz, as usual digs through my snacks as if they are his. Doesn’t matter really. I grab the sandwich I stole among the snacks and please my stomach with some real food.
“Oh, there is my favourite nerd. How should I torture him today?” Moz asks.
I glance over and see indeed his favourite target, walking not too far from us. He has been haunting that boy since day one. I can see why. Typical nerd, wears way too fancy clothes to a school, and he stands out with his ridiculous hairstyle. He always has his nose in a book and seems to be more unaware of his surroundings than me.
“I’m out of gum.” Luna complains.
“Don’t you get tired of it though? It seems boring to pick on the same guy over and over again.” Charlotte makes a good point. Moz has been torturing this guy since he noticed him.
Moz laughs. “No, this guy is different. He actually gets angry and throws a fit. It’s so fucking funny.”
I have witnessed this before. This boy, Xeno as he is called, doesn’t seem to be scared of us. No, it’s worse. He thinks he is better than anyone, making not only us hate him, but basically the whole school. We’re definitely not the only ones who want to prank him a little. But since he became Moz’s target, others leave him alone.
“I feel the need to run in a perfect straight line and he so happens to be in the way.” Moz and his ridiculous ideas.
Before anyone can stop him he does exactly that. He bulldozes his way through Xeno, pushing him roughly to the side, before announcing loudly how he made it. Made what exactly? Guy thinks he won the marathon or something.
Xeno looks disorientated for a moment as he had fallen backwards onto his butt. His book has landed somewhere next to him. I can’t help but snicker at the comical expression of utter shock on his face. He stands up, now showing more annoyance and pats his pants. It will obviously have some green smudges on it and the guy is neat freak, so this will ruin his day.
Moz isn’t done yet and decided to run back, pushing him again, now making him fall face plant into the grass, before he could even pick up his book. Oh, that might have hurt. Charlotte shakes her head as Luna snickers and I roll my eyes. Moz is so stupid sometimes. He makes it back and sits down, with a big grin on his face.
Xeno on the other hand glares at us intensely and somehow I find myself glaring back. His eyes are rather dark, an unusual colour. I can’t seem to look away. Xeno mutters something, grabs his book and storms off. His reaction pisses me off. I want to scare him. Make him piss his pants. I’m curious how he would look when terrified. I eat the remainder of my sandwich in silence as Luna talks about something. I don’t pay attention.
“Where have you been dude, you missed some good shit.” Moz asks Hyoga when he finally decided to show up.
“You bullied Xeno again, saw him in the hallway.” The guy looks unimpressed as usual and his habit of wearing a mask makes him all the more mysterious. “And I have a girlfriend remember?” He sits down and digs through my backpack noticing the amount of snacks in there. Just snacks, I forgot most of my school stuff.
“How did he look?” Moz asks.
He has an weird obsession with making Xeno upset, but I can get it a little bit. Most people we bully just cry, complain to teachers or avoid us like the plague. Xeno however, doesn’t care one bit, no matter how much we torture him. He doesn’t cry, whine to teachers or avoids us. He is stubborn like that which is why Moz is so obsessed with him. He wants to make him cry as much as I do. What would break Xeno?
“Angry as always.” Hyoga says
“If looks could kill, we would be dead.” I smirk. There was something with that glare. Those intense dark eyes. My gaze was glued to them for some reason.
“He doesn’t even go to the teachers.” Charlotte says.
Xeno is a peculiar person who for some reason never even dared to tell on us. He is an asshole who somehow made it possible to make an enemy out of almost everyone at school. He is a loner with no friends. A teacher’s pet who can do whatever he wants since he gets perfect grades and never fails to turn in homework.
“Maybe he is secretly scared? Most people don’t dare tell on us if they don’t want Stanley after their asses.” Moz grins maliciously.
“I barely have to do shit.” I say, which isn’t a lie. People move out of my way, don’t dare look at me and make sure to fuck off when I’m occupying the restroom on the second floor. It’s a calm restroom were not a lot of people go to in the first place, or since I claimed it, people stayed clear of it. I can smoke there because of the window and not a lot of teachers pass by. Also I use the last stall for some good jerk off session whenever I feel pent up. Maybe people heard that and decided to get the fuck out of there to never return. I honestly don’t care if people know about me jerking off in there.
Reluctantly I go to class which doesn’t go unnoticed by the teacher.
“You decided to finally join class?” The teacher asks. She is a strict woman with a knot and old fashioned clothes. The perfect example of a stereotypical teacher. She expects us to ace the tests and do our homework and be on time of course. And she fucking hates me, like most teachers. I’m their nightmare as I barely show up, definitely not on time, never do my homework or study for tests. And yet they are fucking easy and I can get a good grade without much effort. I can do whatever the fuck I want and they can’t tell me to do better since my grades don’t suck.
“Snyder, I’ll see you in detention.” She says as I ignore her and make my way to the back of the class.
Xeno is in my class and when I pass him he is completely emerged in a book. Why does he get special treatment? He is always reading or writing something and never has to pay attention to class; sometimes, he’s not even class. I want to rip the book out of his hands, but the teacher, miss Penelope or miss Pony for short, is still saying shit to me.
“Are you listening?” She calls out again and in frustration I kick the table, making some students gasp, before I sit down.
“Yes I heard you!” I yell at her.
She taps her foot in annoyance and shakes her head. “That is another day of detention for you.”
She turns her back to me ending the discussion and starting the class. I roll my eyes as I barely show up for detention anyway. And what do they do when you don’t show up? They give you more detention which is ironic to me.
“You get in trouble so easily.” Luna whispers, having acquired new gum from somewhere. I swear she is always chewing gum, now more quietly as miss Pony also doesn’t like eating in class. If I could get away with it I would smoke in class, but the smell gives it away too quickly and the fact that the lighter makes noise.
“She just hates my guts.” I whisper back.
Miss Pony turns around and narrows her eyes on us for a moment before continuing. Luna sighs and places her gum on the underside of the table, for some other idiot to scrape off later.
My eyes glance towards Xeno who is in the front of the class, reading his book. I have no idea how much time he spends in the bathroom every morning to get such a hairstyle. I know we messed it up plenty of times by throwing water on him. The one time we threw water balloons was great. It was spring and pretty warm for the time of the year, so I don’t get why we got in trouble for that.
I’m so bored, so I bonk my head on the table, a bit too loudly as Miss Pony stopped talking.
“Snyder, is my class too boring for you?” She asks, annoyance clear in her voice.
I groan loudly. “Yes!” I sit up again and put my legs onto the table. Some people snicker at my response. I don’t care about those when I expected Xeno to be irritated, but the guy doesn’t even notice me. Oh, he wants to play that game?
“I guess we’ll be spending more time together. I want to see you after class for the next three days.” Miss Pony says and goes back to teaching. She has most likely lost her patience with me already and if I continue she will just tell me to get out. Happened plenty of times, so who knows. It doesn’t take me long after I started kicking the chair in front of me a few times. The idiot in front of me actually dares to complain about it and maybe I’ll beat him up for it later.
I find myself outside the classroom and make my way immediately to the restroom on the second floor. I kick open the door and stomp over towards the window and open it. Then I check the stalls to make sure no fucker is in here who can screw me over even more. I don’t need another call to my dad about smoking at school. He doesn’t care, but of course the asshole plays the good parent role when it comes to school. He loves to talk about punishing me of course, but people don’t know that it implies him beating me up or at least pushing my head against a wall or something.
Now that I think about it, my head isn’t throbbing anymore. I lit up a cigarette and let it rest between my lips as the familiar fumes enter my nose. This definitely calms me down. Outside I can have a look on the entrance of the school, not many students around right now. I wish I could somehow sneak a chair in here and sit down. Might have to try that out, but the only place I can think of stealing a chair and getting away with it, might be the library or I have to steal some keys and sneak into a classroom.
Classes are mostly boring because they decided to be smart and split most of my friend group since last year we were too much of a menace. Moz is alone somewhere and Charlotte is together with Hyoga in another class and I still have Luna at my side. But her pranks are mostly surrounded by gum or throwing crumbled paper balls at people. It’s quite innocent and doesn’t really get her in trouble. She actually wants to study sometimes, since she wants to become a nurse. Charlotte wants to be a fitness instructor or a swim instructor. Something sport related. Moz wants to becomes rich and have a lot of bitches at his side. Stupid Moz. And Hyoga probably becomes a successful businessman or whatever.
I have no dreams. Teachers have asked me before but I have no idea what I want to do in the future. I barely know if I survive today to see the next. If my dad bashes my head in too much I might just die. Who cares about the future when I possibly don’t have one? And what could I possibly do? I have almost zero interest in anything. The only thing on my mind is to get away from my dad and just join the army so I can fuck off somewhere and shoot people. Sounds simple which is good enough for me.
I throw away the bud and light up another one when the door opens behind me and my eyes meet up with dark intense ones. I believe we can mutually agree we don’t want to see each other. Xeno ignores my presence and goes into a stall. I’m left flabbergasted as he didn’t seem to be intimidated by me. I bite a little on my cigarette out of annoyance.
Not long after he comes out again and washes his hands, paying me no mind. Oh, fuck no. Before he can walk away I stomp over and grab his collar by the back and toss him in the opposite direction. He slams into the wall, his elbow hitting the window and I hear a hiss of pain.
“What is your problem!?” Xeno asks.
“I don’t like being ignored. And don’t you know better than to come here? This is my spot.” I get closer to him until we meet eye to eye. He isn’t as tiny as he looks sometimes. He is almost my height, his hair does help a little, but that’s beside the point. He is slender, I would say scrawny, all brain no muscle. His dark intense eyes are focused on mine, no fear at all. It pisses me off. I blow some smoke in his face which makes his expression go to disgust and he waves at it with his hand.
“Can you not blow these toxic fumes in my face? And I don’t know about this being your spot nor do I care.” Xeno huffs, still waving at the air.
This fucking guy. I put my hand besides his head on the window being close enough I could spit the cigarette in his face.
“Well, it is your fucking problem now. I have to make sure you don’t snitch on me.” I say blowing some more smoke in his face.
His expression turns sour and he coughs. Hmm, that’s already a better look on his face. “You are disgusting. I don’t care one bit about your unhealthy life-style.” Xeno frowns deeply.
He has quite thick eyebrows, thin lips and a tiny nose, which I kind of want to poke. His hair is longer than it looks, reaching his shoulders in the back and in the front of course he has that ridiculous pompadour. Why he does this is beyond me, since it only makes his forehead stand out even more and it was already noticeable.
I flick away the cigarette to somewhere in the restroom and grab his collar, blowing the last fumes in his face. He in return coughs in my face. He has some courage, I’ll give him that.
“You do know who I am, right? Never learned to not mess with me?” I ask.
Xeno grabs at my wrists but notices rather quickly he doesn’t outmatch me in strength and can’t get my hand off of him that easily. He settles at trying to push at my chest to no avail.
“I am aware of your existence, yes, but I don’t care. Your delinquent life doesn’t matter to me.” Xeno says.
“I could beat you up.” I say. I’m highly interesting to see if I can make him cry. Most people would have stammered by now, afraid of being beaten up.
Xeno narrows his eyes, looking unfazed. “And what is stopping you? I’m clearly no match for you, so get it over with.”
Now I understand even more what Moz means. I never really had interactions with this guy. He isn’t afraid, intimidated, just annoyed, angry at me wasting his time.
“I can dump your head into the toilet, or steal your clothes.” I say, contemplating some better ideas than simply beating him up. I need to make him cry after all. I drag him off into the toilet stall and I swear I saw a mild change into his expression that could have resembled fear. Xeno grits his teeth, but remains silent. Even he doesn’t want to have his head dipped into toilet water.
“Are you finally aware of your position?” I ask with a smirk. I have a tight grip on his collar, but if I let go he might fall backwards, landing straight onto the toilet. If anyone would walk in right now, there might be some rumours, but I don’t care about those. Maybe it would ruin Xeno’s perfect reputation.
“Let go of me.” Xeno’s voice is like venom, his dark eyes piercing so intensely into mine. For a second I think they’re beautiful, like the night itself. I shake it off quickly and push him so he stumbles and is forced to sit on the toilet. He looks appalled.
“That’s a good look on you.” I comment.
Xeno sighs. “You had your fun, now let me go.”
“Or what? Am I going to ruin your perfect attendance?” I smile wickedly, thoroughly enjoying this.
“Yes, you actually are going to ruin my attendance and I won’t stay quiet about why I am late to class, so you better let me go.” He dares to threaten me? Is he aware of the position he is in? Sitting on a toilet bowl, on a nice dick sucking level as I could totally put my crotch in his face.
“I’m the one making demands, not you.” I hiss.
What I didn’t expect was him suddenly grabbing my face, just the way my dad did this morning and I flinch, my eyes wide. He stands up and comes closer.
“You are the one dragging this out, didn’t I tell you to get it over with?” Xeno’s voice makes me shiver.
I get my composure back rather quickly and push hard at him so he falls back with his butt landing on the toilet seat again. A small sound of pain leaves his mouth.
What the fuck was that? Why was I slightly intimated by this noodle? He can’t do shit to me, but for some reason his voice made me shiver. Nobody in school has ever dared to stand up to me. I burst out in laughter, surprising Xeno as his eyebrows raise and he gives me a confused look. I’m honestly just as confused.
“I didn’t think you had it in you. That was rather surprising.” I say highly amused.
“Are you done?” Xeno asks instead, not caring one bit.
“Yeah, you’re lucky you made me laugh. Now get out of my face.” I say as I kick open the stall door. It’s nice they swing both ways, so I can kick them twice as often. Xeno glares at me one last time before hurrying out of the restroom. He will make it to class in time.
I lit up another cigarette as I need to process this for a moment. Xeno was not afraid of me, not even in the slightest. Those eyes of his, dark and mysterious. They have a way of glaring into my soul. I will make him cry someday and it will be beautiful. I can break Xeno. There must be something, but it has to be more creative than simply bullying or beating him up. I smirk. This guy might be interesting.
I wanted to skip detention, but the teacher was expecting me to leave, so one of them was waiting for me at the entrance. I should have climbed out of a window somewhere. Shit. So now I find myself sitting in the front of a classroom, bored out of my mind, with miss Pony, Moz and a few others. Not surprising as Moz always gets in trouble.
“No talking, and do some homework.” Miss Pony says as if I brought any.
“What homework!?” Moz yells and laughs.
Miss Pony shakes her head and sighs. Then she grabs some papers out of a drawer and places one on my desk and Moz’s. I look unimpressed by the blank paper. Whatever she wants me to write on it, I won’t.
“Write down what was wrong with your behaviour today.” She says.
“You mean when I answered you honestly about how boring your class is?” I ask with a smirk. Moz gives me a high-five.
“Stanley, this way you will never achieve anything in the future, do you wish for that to happen?” miss Pony asks.
“I don’t care. I live in the now, not in the future.” I say.
She sighs again and presses a hand on the paper. “Write.” She orders.
And I write, but not what she wants. Next to some random doodles I write down that everyone can go fuck themselves. In the end I make an airplane out of it and throw it around. Moz laughs loudly. Eventually miss Pony had enough of us so we get dismissed. I wonder when she is going to learn detention does absolutely nothing. Punishments don’t do much to me as going home is punishment enough.
“She better not call my fucking dad.” I tell Moz on the way to the bus
“So what? Does it matter?” He asks.
They don’t really know and I think Moz would just make fun of me if I tell him about the old man beating me up. Moz wouldn’t understand. Nobody would. So all they knew about my dad is that he is an asshole and they can figure out what I mean with this.
“Not much, I suppose.” I say.
Moz bumps my shoulder and of course I bump him back pretty hard. He laughs and pushes me again. I kick his leg, hard.
“Fuck you man!” He yells running forward. I run after him of course and we end up sprinting all the way to the bus stop. And of course we have to wait quite a while for the next bus. Fuck miss Pony. My stomach rumbles as I didn’t eat much today besides some chocolate and a sandwich. And my friends stole most of my stolen snacks. Ironic.
“And do you have a girlfriend yet?” My dad asks me the moment I walk in. Fuck, that’s another thing I forgot about.
“Yeah.” I say absentmindedly. Lying to him is nothing new.
“Good, introduce her to me sometime. I’ll buy you some condoms.” He laughs.
I really don’t want my dad doing that for me, but whatever. I’ll have to make sure those disappear so it seems I have used them. My stomach rumbles again.
“What’s for dinner?” I ask.
“Help yourself to some pizza, order some for me as well.” He says and goes back to the television.
When he suddenly yells at the television my whole body freezes. A stupid reflex. I shake my head. I’m just hungry. I grab my phone and call the place for pizza. He better has the money. My question gets answered immediately after I was done ordering.
“Money is one the table somewhere, should be enough.” He says.
“Cool.” I say as I take the money and wait for my precious pizza to arrive. Won’t ever get tired of pizza. Although I do eat junk food way too many times, there are also plenty of days were I don’t have food at all, so it cancels each other out. And I work out to make sure I don’t get fat otherwise I’ll get beat into shape and I already have enough things he wants to beat me up about.
The smell of pizza is good when you’re hungry and I take mine upstairs excitedly and sit down on my bed. Sometimes I eat with my dad, but I hate when he gets so vocal with the television as if the people in it are going to hear him. I prefer to eat alone when I have food to begin with. Sometimes I go days on whatever I manage to steal from the store. I do change stores every time to make it less suspicious, but I’m unsure as to why I haven’t been caught often.
I chew on pizza while staring absentmindedly outside of the window. This is mostly how I spend my evenings unless one of my friends wants to hang out. Or I go out alone and walk for miles. Often I sit at the playground, smoking in silence, looking at the dark skies and the stars. I love looking at the stars. Before I know it I had devoured my pizza. I sigh.