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[Night]
Warmth. Safety. Connection. Nestled against his side, against his shoulder, was a comfortable weight, as if a home knit blanket had been draped across his body.
Jayce was at ease, drowsy, his senses blissfully blurred, caught on that threshold between dream and waking. The tender hands of sleep pulling him into one direction, alluring whispers calling him back into unconsciousness, a slow-rising awareness to his surroundings pulling him into the other, towards a nebulous sense of midnight wakefulness.
Just once, just to get a glimpse of his surroundings, Jayce blinked uncooperative eyelids open. The lab was bathed in the otherworldly glow of the deepest of nightly hours. Heavy eyes fell shut again, almost causing Jayce to relent and let himself be lulled back into sleep by the comfort of that steady warmth beside him. Fighting that push and pull in an effort to regain control over at least some of his faculties, Jayce blinked once more. Unreality was blinking back at him.
Ah.
Viktor had fallen asleep against him. Cheek resting on Jayce's shoulder, one arm flung over Jayce's chest, faintly clinging onto him.
This made sense. This was a dream after all.
The hazy rays of the dark blue hour had dyed Viktor in their gentle hues.
Illusive and fragile.
It was as if the night itself had decided to let Jayce in on a precious, little secret which it had thus far harboured and kept to itself, as if it had only woken him from his slumber to show him this.
Midnight gloom suited Viktor.
Deep shadows were pooling in the hollows of his sharp cheek-bones, accentuating delicately crafted features. Tiny specks of moonlight had caught in his long eyelashes, while others were imprudently dancing along his cheeks, and over the bridge of his nose, skipping up the tip, shifting with the whims of the night clouds outside the high laboratory windows. A vague rush of shame came washing over Jayce at the ostensive impropriety of it all, at bearing witness to something that so clearly was not meant for any other person's eyes.
Something about this luminous, mid-nightly spectacle of lights took the breath right out of him - and where Viktor's fingers were lazily sprawled against him, his skin felt all warm and tingly, and only seemed to grow warmer yet whenever Viktor moved them slightly in his sleep, the faint, unconscious motion sending ripples through Jayce's body that manifested as pleasant shivers right beneath the surface of his skin.
Feeling the irresistible urge to brush a strand of unruly curls from Viktor's forehead, Jayce had given in before he had even processed the notion, much less the action. Too short to be tucked behind Viktor's ear, the insolent hairs fell right back in and out of place.
His heart skipped a stuttering beat, beating louder, faster inside of Jayce's chest, who in turn kept as still as he could as not to rouse Viktor. Viktor so rarely found rest. For once, he looked at peace.
The night truly had only bestowed the kindest of its touches upon him.
A precious gift, indeed. For both of them.
And yet, as he observed Viktor's face in the dim, desaturated lights the night had wrapped him in, Jayce's sleep-addled mind couldn't help but wander, wonder…
Did the night itself feel these self-same peculiar pangs of something sublime as Jayce did?
Could the rapid hammering of the night's aching heartbeat wake him?
Jayce was sure, if a nightmare dared to disturb Viktor in his sleep, if he sighed, and stirred in distress - the whole world outside would simply stop spinning. Piltover's busy night would come to a standstill, stopped in its tracks, as it could not help but watch in awe and reverence, in worry and concern - like Jayce did. Somehow his throat felt dry and tight, in contrast to his hands that were sweaty and shaking, overcome by the urge to pull Viktor closer, to fight and ward off any bad dreams, to keep away all that pain that plagued Viktor under the much harsher lights of their waking hours. If only for the short while that he was enveloped in the night's ethereal embrace, he could keep Viktor at rest, at peace…just for once.
Somehow, Jayce found himself restless with Viktor resting against him, vulnerable and beautiful, calm breath tickling Jayce's neck, and soft fingertips occasionally brushing his chest.
Somehow, at some point, and without Jayce realising it, something had changed. Jayce had fallen and landed somewhere else, somewhere that lay beyond a veil, somewhere that was hazy and that was now, and that did not belong into the daylight.
He moved carefully, shifting oh so cautiously, holding his already faltering breath as he wrapped an arm around Viktor's shoulder, pulling him closer against his chest, which was an empty cave that was overfilled with something that was dangerously close of bursting forth.
Stars, faint in the sky, soon fated to fade away into the morning dusk.
The silence and the sleeping city outside.
And somewhere in between, it was just Jayce and Viktor, caught in the in-between, hidden away under a blanket of misty blue starlight, that the night had carefully thrown around them both.
The whole world had been reduced to only the two of them.
Here was Jayce's entire world.
Asleep.
Still and silent.
Safe, in his arms.
Oh.
Pain, for one heart beat.
Fear, for another.
Before both melted away.
The brief surrender to a truth such as this never hurts for long. Not a truth such as this one. Painful, maybe, frightening, but simple - and undeniable.
Jayce hugged Viktor tighter, as if afraid he could vanish right out of his grasp, fingers tenderly stroking his shoulder. He held him close and safe, for as long as the night would grant him.
Viktor, who was so beloved by the night. Jayce couldn't blame it. He'd keep its precious secret. He'd lock it away, forever, this single moment, where it would stay secure in his memory, never to be shared with a single other soul. Jayce understood. He was just the same, after all.
"…Jayce?"
Simple.
Just like that, the spell had been broken.
Outside the windows, the yawning and stretching of the waking city of Piltover was progressively chasing the nightly quiet away. The passage of time had already begun to soften the dark midnight hues into far lighter blues, and soon they would break and become pink and peach, and it would be the dawning of another bustling day.
"Good morning, Viktor," Jayce said. "Did you have a good night?"
Viktor's mind was partially somewhere else, as he was slowly readjusting to the state of being awake, still in the process of rejoining Jayce in the here and now.
"I think I did."
And in some way, Jayce was still in a somewhere-else as well.
Still caught up in the night, in that in-between, and unsure what to do, now that the morning had come.
-
[Day]
Crowds. Clamorous. Constricting. Strangers' bodies shoving into each other - into him. Someone's careless elbow almost knocked Viktor off balance, who had to grab the handle of his cane tight as not to topple over. Ouch. And oof.
Vikto wished he had remained backstage - or hadn't shown up at all. Alas, as unpleasant as these specific circumstances were, Viktor would never miss any of Jayce's big moments, not willingly, not if he all he had to do was simply to be a presence and offer his support in some small way. Even if Jayce never actually saw him among the masses of people, among anyone who'd shown up to hear Jayce talk, to hear him speak about their project and what discoveries they had made thus far, their ambitions for the betterment and future of Piltover - or who had come just to catch a glimpse of the man himself. The man of the hour. Viktor liked to imagine Jayce appreciated the thought of Viktor simply also being there, somewhere, in silent support. Invisible. A ghost in a sea of strangers.
When Jayce stepped out into the daylight and onto the stage, the crowd erupted. Viktor winced at the noise. Viktor wouldn't cheer along. briefly, he had felt the urge rise up in his chest, excitement spilling over from the people surrounding him. It would have felt odd to do so. He wouldn't have known what to shout at Jayce anyway. If only he could think of something funny. Maybe Jayce would have heard him and laughed. Balancing his cane in the crack of his arm, he politely clapped for him, though. That was just polite. And Jayce deserved it.
Jayce had moved up to the podium, the sunlight hitting his face, illuminating him as much as his slightly twitching smile illuminated his audience. Jayce had to adjust the microphone to accommodate his height. It hadn't been set up properly. The high-pitched sound from the feedback, as Jayce fidgeted with it made Viktor wince a second time - and it made Jayce chuckle in an attempt to downplay obvious embarrassment. No one really seemed to care. Watching Jayce turn himself into a bit of fool, Viktor couldn't keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, as he stifled a chuckle of his own. It was endearing if anything, and it made Viktor's chest fill with unbearable fondness.
After the technical issue had been resolved, Jayce had begun speaking, gripping the sides of the podium in tight fists, leaning in as close as he dared to the microphone -which could only be called a cautious distance at best.
Viktor barely registered the words Jayce was saying, having heard Jayce practice them countless times over, and over, over the past days back in their lab. Jayce had been murmuring the phrases over and over again, to himself, and to Viktor if he cared to listen - he always did - until he got them just right, until they sounded natural. They did now. Somewhat. Jayce might fool a stranger's ears but he couldn't fool Viktor.
There was still a visible tension in Jayce's broad shoulders, a shifting of his eyes, of pupils struggling to find focus, the way Jayce clutched the podium just the tiniest bit tighter at times. Yet, the more Jayce spoke, the more confident he got. Losing himself in the moment, the cheers, the applause, the mass of people.
Piltover was enamoured by Jayce. His charm, his passion. Speaking about his ambitions, of progress and splendour, science and magic - of his dream. Of their dream.
The wind was busy messing up what had so far been Jayce's perfectly styled hair which he had probably spent a large portion of the morning fussing with in front of his bathroom mirror in order to get it just right. Now the wind, playful and with a cheeky wink, had ruined all that effort, and Viktor, for a jealous second, wished he could do the same. A few strands had come loose and it did something for Jayce's looks that was, by all accounts, simply not fair. None of this was. And it should have bothered Viktor more, if the entire all of it hadn't been exactly what Jayce deserved.
This was where Jayce belonged: standing in the brightest day, shining like the brightest sun. Jayce's dream was one not dreamt at night. Jayce himself was everything that belonged to the daylight hours. He was exuberance, and laughter, and fun, and wonder and enthusiasm.
That Jayce so willingly spent most of his days hidden away in their laboratory with Viktor. Now here was something that was unfair - to the entire rest of the world. Viktor shifted nervously on his feet - but the motion had him readjust his posture right away from the immediate strain it put on his bad leg, leaning on his cane for any support he could get, needing it in more ways than one.
Everyone who had come out today was enraptured by Jayce, including Viktor. Viktor couldn't fault any of them. Not, when Jayce wore esteem so well. It was woven into the fabric of his being.
And Jayce was humble enough to think he didn't deserve any of this. Wouldn't mind sharing that spotlight with Viktor if only he'd say as much. Viktor never would. He'd rather remain unnoticed by these people, by all of Piltover society, if he extended the notion. The success of their work itself was enough, had ever been enough. All Viktor had ever wanted was to help. He didn't need to be known, didn't need to be seen. Viktor himself belonged in the shadows. Unrecognised and unperceived.
Except -
Please see me. Notice me.
It was an altogether silly thought.
Me, the apparition come to haunt you in the daylight, at the hour of your brightest glory.
Watching this theatrical display might have begun to rub off on Viktor.
He shook his head.
A silly thought, indeed.
And yet.
If Jayce were to see him now, Viktor wouldn't mind.
It might quell the sudden surge of something sharp and seething that threatened to split his chest open, to leave it hollow and gaping.
And while Viktor was still wondering what that would that would do to him, Jayce's eyes found his among the crowd. His deep, honey-coloured eyes glinted in the sunlight, outshining the sun itself. A smile spread across his face, tugging playfully at the corner of his mouth, tinting dimpled, pinchable cheeks with surprised elation.
And Viktor no longer had to wonder.
Jayce raised one hand just barely off the podium - halting mid-sentence - and waved at Viktor, almost coy in his greeting.
Oh.
Viktor, hesitant and shaky, as if he had forgotten how to perform the motion, raised a hand to wave back.
Oh no.
The smile on Jayce's face only brightened, dripping syrupy sweet over Viktor's arrhythmically beating heart, who did his best to smile back, while the ground under his feet was losing its structural integrity. It took him a second to realise it were his legs that were shaking. Viktor let his hand which he had forgotten, awkwardly up in the air, sink back down to brace himself on his cane against the buckling of his thighs.
Viktor had a problem. One with no easy solution. None of his usually did. Somehow, this was worse. A sense of dread settled gnawing and churning somewhere in his lower belly.
He should have known.
He should have seen the signs.
He should -
He should have stayed home.
He couldn't have.
He couldn't have left Jayce unsupported on his grand day.
He couldn't have missed seeing that expression on Jayce's face.
Somehow, Viktor found that despite the sinking feeling in his stomach, he was smiling, blinking at Jayce with a short nod, and Jayce - who was still firmly meeting his gaze as if he, also, didn't dare lose Viktor in the mass of other people, other faces, other smiles - was smiling right back.
Viktor wouldn't have missed it for the world.
The resounding cheering that broke out around Viktor, and that signalled the end of Jayce's speech, tore Viktor violently out of his thoughts and back into present reality, back into full awareness of his body which was still situated within a larger mass of other bodies, who were now in the process of clapping and shouting, the noise drowning out most of Viktor's more panicked thoughts, replacing them with a vague sense of apprehension just from being surrounded by an increasingly excited crowd.
Viktor knew he should be clapping as well. He couldn't. His knees would give way under him if he dared to lift the grasp on his cane. Maybe he should shout after all. He didn't. His throat was dry and wouldn't cooperate - and he would feel silly. He already did. He could congratulate Jayce later - in private, when he could catch Jayce in a quiet moment when it was just the two of them. Or he would do so tomorrow, back in the safety and quiet of their work space, when it would definitely be only the two of them. Faintly, in the back of his mind, Viktor was wondering if he could even dare to look Jayce in his eyes, now that Viktor knew.
As Jayce spoke the last of his 'thank yous' into the microphone and waved his 'goodbyes', the crowd was eagerly shuffling forwards, breaking the contact between them. Somewhere in the ensuing commotion, he had lost Jayce's eyes and he couldn't find them again. As much as he tried, the sun had climbed so high up in the sky right above the stage,the light was blinding as he searched for them. People were now either dispersing, having lost interest or wanting to go home, or, and those were much worse, were shoving and scrambling further towards the front to possibly be among the lucky few who could make it all the way up to the stage, to meet, greet, and possibly even get a touch of Piltover's golden boy.
Viktor did not move. Viktor stood his shaky ground as best as he could with varying levels of success and defiance, as various elbows were once again shoved into his side, his back, his arms.
He would see Jayce later. He would talk to him later tonight, privately, when it would be just the two of them.
Viktor did not look forward to the lengthy celebration, the congratulations, and hand-shaking, the ritualistic, practised - preformative - clinking together of champagne glasses that would take up most of what remained of the day.
Viktor couldn't wait till nightfall.
-
[Sunset]
The day had been strenuous at best.
Viktor sat at the edge of a large outcropping overlooking the waters of Zaun, his cane carefully propped up against the wall next to him. A gentle breeze was ruffling even gentler through his hair, what had been unruly curls in the beginning of the day, were now even more unruly nearing its end.
From behind him came the tell-tale sounds of someone approaching, the clinking of a metal pipe as it was hit by a rock kicked aside by stumbling footsteps, the crunching of clumsy boots on debris littered ground.
"You are about to say, 'I knew, I would find you here'."
"I knew, I wou-"
Off guard, was how Jayce rather found himself.
"You got me there."
Viktor gave an amused chuckle without turning around, he had his eyes closed - a shield against the sun that was shining directly on them - letting the dying light paint his cheeks the fading colours of farewell.
"I'd like to think, I know you quite well by now."
Jayce sat down next to him, making a pointless attempt at brushing some of the dirt and dust away before he did. It would end up staining the back of his pants anyway.
"I was looking for you."
"And you found me."
Viktor blinked his eyes open, his vision a bit painfully adjusting back to normal from prolonged exposure of the sun through closed eyelids. Quickly, a vision of Jayce unblurred in front of him, who sheepishly rubbed at the back of his neck, his face the faintest bit flushed. If from the deep, reddish light of the sunset or from embarrassment, or something else, Viktor couldn't tell.
"Come here to think, I presume?"
"Mhh."
Viktor had come here to think, and had done so for a good, long while. About anything really, and nothing in particular. Not being inside of Piltover proper helped reorganising his thoughts, centre him, bring a clarity and peace that could rarely be found in the bustling, overcrowded city that never fully came to rest. Sometimes, he needed some ease for his mind that was prone to equally constantly work over time. After a while, however, Viktor's body and thoughts had become comfortably sluggish from the relaxing effects of the afternoon sun, as he watched it wander across the horizon, further and further, and further, as afternoon turned into evening. All the while, it had spread a soothing warmth through his ever-aching limbs. Now it had almost vanished completely behind the sharp cityscape of Piltover up high in the distance. The night promised to become a chilly one.
"Looks as if you know me quite well, too," Viktor added, teasing lightly, although the sentiment was honest.
Jayce regarded him curiously, pupils darting over Viktor's face as if unsure where to put his focus.
"I would like to think so," Jayce said finally, his hand finding Viktor's which
had been resting at his side with his index finger drawing shallow circles into the rubble. It stopped abruptly, as Viktor's heart jumped. He regarded Jayce's hand covering his own in quiet contemplation. Simultaneously looking out of place and exactly where it belonged, it did more to warm Viktor than the twilight on his skin.
"About this, I have absolutely no doubt."
Viktor leaned in to press a chaste kiss to the corner of Jayce's mouth, brazen only in the act itself, the touch barely more than a tender brush of his lips. When Viktor was about to pull away, Jayce moved his head slightly to kiss him back, with just as much tenderness, with just as much caution. It was wonderful and it ached and it filled Viktor with longing and he did not quite know what for. And somehow that made it both marvellous and unbearable and Viktor broke away from the kiss when he felt a familiar, stinging pressure rise behind his eyes.
For a second, Viktor feared Jayce would say something, so Viktor simply looked at him and lightly shook his head. There wasn't anything worthwhile that could come from filling this space with needless words, this space in between that belonged to the both of them - and only to the both of them.
Jayce understood and kept silent.
The setting sun slowly flickered out, their contemplative faces in the embers, as they both looked out and across the deep waters of Zaun which lay dangerously still and dark below, and out and towards the high towers of Piltover looming ever imposing up above, simply watching and letting the dim rays fade away in silence and into solitude. Soon they would be gone and it would be night, and they would still be sitting here, at least for a while.
A single kiss shared at sunset didn't need to mean anything, held no further demands.
Neither of them had to stay through the night.
-
[Dawn]
The night had been a blast.
Jayce still couldn't believe he had managed to convince Viktor to go out drinking with him in the first place. Not that Viktor had ever expressed open opposition to the idea. Quite on the contrary, there had always been a curious, almost mischievous, glint in his eyes whenever Jayce had brought up the notion that the two of them should take an evening off and hang out, preferably at a bar, have a couple of beers ("Or whatever you prefer."), and sit, and talk, and adequately celebrate some of their recent, if smallish, accomplishments. Yet, Viktor had somehow continuously found reasons to decline Jayce's invitations. At a certain point, Jayce had begun to wonder whether Viktor had been making excuses.
Tonight had been different. Tonight had been fun. Viktor had not attempted to find a solid, or even a flimsy, excuse to not go out. Instead, Viktor had shrugged, smirked, and let himself be dragged out of the lab and into the city without a fuss after they had finished their work for the day. Miraculously, they had even called it early. Jayce had been thrumming with anticipation the whole day.
Now, approaching the early hours of dawn, with the sun beginning to creep up over the rooftops of Piltover's high buildings and pillars, they had made it back, slightly stumbling, still laughing and chatting, to the front steps leading up to Jayce's apartment.
Jayce would vehemently deny that either of them were drunk per se, however, what he couldn't deny was the comfortable buzz that had settled deep inside his body, that made his head swim pleasantly, and his voice rang with a little more fervour and volume than intended when he laughed, or spoke.
This morning, they were those people who couldn't keep it down outside of someone's bedroom window while that someone was trying to enjoy the final hours of rest before the coming day. Jayce found it hard to feel sorry about any of that. Not when he was excitedly talking to Viktor the entire way back, having turned around every few sentences if only to make extra sure he hadn't lost the man he had been in continuous, idle conversation with.
Viktor was never too far behind. Jayce tried to his best to allow him to keep up. Sometimes, he just got overexcited in his step. So, now he waited for Viktor to catch up the final few paces that separated them from Jayce's apartment door.
"So, this is me. I mean, this is my place, where I live," Jayce said, his words slightly slurred, albeit not to his own ears, and with all the gravitas of someone revealing some profound, new information, which it wasn't. Viktor knew. He had been here multiple times before. Maybe the alcohol had gotten to Jayce a bit more than he would care to admit after all.
"I know," Viktor grinned and nodded, leaning casually on his cane as he came to stand next to Jayce. "Well observed."
Jayce nodded back.
"Thank you."
More nodding.
"I shall take my leave then." It almost sounded like a question.
"You want to go home? Now?"
Viktor shrugged.
"It's not that far."
"That's not the point. It's late." Jayce halted for a second, then corrected himself. "Or early."
"This is Piltover," Viktor stated matter of factly. 'Not Zaun' remained unspoken.
"That's also not the point." At least, it was not the point Jayce had attempted to make, nor a discussion he would want to have. Not right now. The night had been fun so far.
"Eh, I'll be fine," Viktor insisted but a subtle shifting of his eyes spoke of concealed hesitancy which made Jayce wonder why they were having this argument in the first place when Viktor was apparently reluctant to leave and make his way back to his own place.
"Come on," Jayce nodded towards the front entrance. "Stay the night, leave in the morning."
Viktor looked up at Jayce, as if seeing him for the first time. When had he moved this close to Jayce? For a man reliant on the use of a cane, Viktor could be incredibly nimble and quiet in his movements.
"Technically, it's already morning," he said, somewhat absentmindedly, worrying his lower lip between jagged front teeth, clearly debating some form of inner conflict that Jayce wasn't privy to - and knew better than to ask about.
The artificial light of the streetlamps and the early morning sunlight that was already breaking through the thick layer of mists over the sharp-ridges of Piltover's horizon was tinting Viktor's lips a plush pink. They were inviting. Kissab-
Jayce felt a heat in his cheeks turn them a very similar colour.
"Then it doesn't matter anyway," he said. "You're not getting much sleep tonight either way."
Jayce hadn't meant it like that. Yet it had stunned Viktor into silence, cheeks flushed, kissable lips now slightly agape, pale yellow eyes widened into perplexity, staring up at him.
And that was enough.
A sudden imperative had come over Jayce. Something pressing, and primal, and immediate, and born from the moment and that expression on Viktor's face. Jayce had to know. He had to do it. He had to get at least a taste of what it would be like.
He needed to kiss that expression right off of Viktor's face or he would implode.
If he needed to put the blame on something else later, he always had the alcohol to fall back on.
Jayce stepped up, and Viktor gave him a quizzical look, assessing attentitively what Jayce was about to do but at the same time, much more importantly, Viktor was defiantly not backing away. Jayce took it as a dare.
To bridge their height difference, Jayce had to lean down. It didn't matter. It made it better. He felt outright giddy.
Viktor drew in a sharp breath as Jayce laid his lips upon his. They had no right to feel this soft beneath his. Viktor had no right to sound so lovely in his gasp of surprise. It only made Jayce want to kiss him harder, and he had to hold himself back - barely managing - as he moved his lips against Viktor's, mouth slightly open, inviting - pleading - him to return the kiss. After a moment of hesitation, Viktor did, shy and with a gentle sigh against Jayce's mouth, and it was as if something grander and holier had finally granted Jayce relief - yet it wasn't some nebulous other, something else that was grand and holy - it was Viktor, who really was not anything much different.
The kiss was over too soon, and when he felt Viktor pull away from him, Jayce couldn't help but chase after him to prolong any touch between them - even when he eventually conceded and let him go.
Viktor turned around too quickly, taking the stairs that lead up to Jayce's front door with as much of a rush in his step as he could, the clanking of his cane on the stone harsh against the stillness of the waning night. He looked over his shoulder at Jayce, a coy smile on his freshly kissed lips.
"Well, aren't you going to let me in?"
Stunned at first, it took Jayce a second to process before he, too, broke out into a lopsided grin.
Searching for and grabbing at his keys in his pockets, Jayce hurried after Viktor, skipping over several steps, unaware he narrowly avoided what would have been a rather embarrassing trip and fall. No time to waste.
Although the early morning may be all but over, there always lay more day ahead.
A single kiss shared at dawn didn't need to mean anything, held no further demands.
Neither of them had to be there come morning.