Archive of Our Own

He almost made it this time. It’s Monday-- the third Monday of the month-- and Dazai had almost managed to sneak out of his apartment without being accosted. Every Monday that he tries to leave, Kunikida is there at the door, arms crossed expectantly. Today, though, when Dazai peeled open his front door, the landing was blessedly clear. He’d internally cheered and tiptoed across the floor as silently as possible. 

But peace wasn’t in the cards today. Kunikida lives on the ground floor, while Dazai rents out the top. And today, Kuikida is waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs, frowning. 

Dazai’s shoulders sag. He really thought Kunikida was going to let him off the hook today, but alas. The tease. 

“Ah, Kunikida-kun… fancy seeing you here, huh?”

One side of Kunikida’s face twitches. “Dazai. We’re already halfway through the month.”

Dazai hums. “Ah, you’re right. What about it?”

“What about it-” Kunikida repeats in disbelief. “ What about it is that you still haven’t paid this months rent, last month’s rent,” He seethes, “ Or the deposit! ”

Dazai taps his chin. “Hmm, that doesn’t sound like me…”

“I’m not letting you live here without paying rent like a freeloader!”

“Aw, why not?” Dazai squints down the stairs at the man. He’s got broad shoulders, broad enough that he’s blocking the whole exit. Maybe Dazai could vault over the railing or something… 

“Because you signed a lease!” 

Dazai descends a few steps, peering over the railing at the entryway. It’s a little high… 

“And I’m paying the electricity to keep your lights on!”

Could he dangle himself off the railing enough that it wouldn’t be such a sharp drop down? Or maybe he could slide down the banister, that’s an option. Dazai takes a few more steps down.

“If you don’t start paying, I’m going to have to find another tenant.”

Dazai whines. “Kunikida-kun, you wouldn’t really kick me out, would you?”

“I would.”

“How awful… Ah, but, I really need to get to work now, Kunikida-kun.” Lie. He doesn’t even have a job. He was on his way out to buy manga. “Or my boss will yell at me. I have a lot of responsibilities to take care of today.” Another lie. Today’s to-do list reads: buy manga. drink sake. pass out .

Kunikida grunts. “Pay up.”
“But- I don’t have it.”

“Then what the hell are you doing with your salary?! You’re lucky I even let you move in here with such short notice, and now you’re wasting your entire salary instead of paying me?” Kunikida lifts his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. “That’s it. If you can’t pay at least the deposit by the end of the week, you’re out. And I’m serious this time.”

Dazai flings himself down the rest of the stairs. “Kunikida-kun, don’t say that!”

“I mean it, Dazai.”

“I’ll pay the deposit! I’ll have it by Friday!”

Kunikida eyes him like he stinks. Dazai withers. 

“I will,” He says defensively. 

“You said that last week.”

“And yet you still didn’t kick me out…”

Kunikida frowns. “I really will this time.” 

“I have to go to work…”

Grunting again, Kunikida steps aside, clearing the way for Dazqi to make it the rest of the way down the stairs. He books it, jumping the last few and bolting for the door. 

“I mean it, Dazai!” Kunikida calls after him. 

----

Friday rolls around, and Dazai is awoken from his mid-afternoon nap by a banging on his door. 

“I’m asleep!” He calls, rolling over and pulling the blankets over his head. His apartment is small, relatively, but still big enough that he can manage. He’s pretty sure it was just a big bedroom before Kunikida converted it into an apartment. But he has a bathroom and a kitchenette, and he has so few belongings that he doesn’t really need any extra space. 

It means, though, that the front door is only a few feet from his head. There’s more banging, and Dazai whines high in his throat, “Fuck offfff, Kunikida-kun!”

More banging. Dazai groans and throws the covers off, getting up from the bed and storming towards the door. It opens on Kunikida’s furrowed brow. 

“What do you want? I was asleep.”

“I want your deposit.”

Dazai frowns. “You were serious about that?”

Kunikida sputters, face quickly turning red. “I-! I’m always serious about that! You’re seven weeks overdue!”

“Ah, oops. I must have forgotten…” Dazai inches back, intending to close the door, but Kunikida lays a palm flat on the wood and shoves it open, advancing into the apartment. 

This is bad-- Dazai’s cornered. He titters nervously, “Kunikida-kun-”

“Here, I’ll help you pack,” Kunikida says, and Dazai all but stamps his foot. 

“Kunikida-kuuuun, nooooo.”

“I’ve had it! If you’re not gonna pay rent, you’re not going to live here.”

Dazai whines and throws himself on the bed, kicking his feet in the air. 

“Don’t be a child about it. You’re twenty-two.”

“Oh, come on, Kunikida-kun! Give me another chance!” Dazai rolls over a little so he can grab at Kunikida’s hand from the bed. He latches onto it and tugs needily. “Isn’t there anything I can do to change your mind?”

Kunikida wrinkles his nose. “What could you do for me? You can’t even pay rent.”

Dazai angles his face up and the man and wiggles his eyebrows. “I can do lots of things.”

Shaking his head, Kunikida huffs. “Now’s not the time for riddles, Dazai. Get up.”

Instead of answer, Dazai just tugs harder on Kunikida’s hand, grinning wider. The blonde’s shoulders are tensed inwards, his whole body rigid. Dazai figures-- well, he figures this could be an easy out. He loves those. 

“Dazai, what are you doing? Let go.”

“Ah, come on, Kunikida-kun, lay down with me. We can pack later.”

The look Kunikida gives him is of disbelief, as if he’s dealing with a child. “I just said you can’t live here anymore. I’m not taking a nap with you.”

“Who said anything about napping? Just lay down.” Dazai gives a hard yank on Kunikida’s hand, throwing him off balance. He catches himself with his other hand on the edge of the mattress, but Dazai is quick to get his arms around the man’s neck, pulling him down into the bed beside him.

“Get off! Let me up! Who knows the last time you washed these sheets?!”

Dazai snorts. “Oh, Kunikida-kun, you’re so funny. You don’t wash sheets.”

Kunikida jerks so hard Dazai thinks he’s hurt himself. How whole body is nearly shaking with horror in Dazai’s hold. “You- what ?”

“I’m kidding!” Dazai lies, “I totally wash my sheets. Here, lay down and see.” He sits up and rolls them so Kunikida is flat on the bed, laying stiffly as if he thinks even breathing will contaminate him. Dazai leans over him, humming thoughtfully. “Kunikida-kun, has anyone ever told you that you’re very pretty?”

Kunikida frowns. “I don’t see how that’s relevant to you moving out-”

“Because you kinda are. I mean, you really are. If you had a better haircut, you’d be even prettier.”

Flushing, Kunikida gives him an indignant look. “My haircut is fine. Stop trying to distract me. Let me up, Dazai.”

Instead of letting him up, Dazai instead wriggles around so he’s now straddling Kunikida. He’s a little thinner than Dazai thought he’d be, now that he’s feeling him out. Dazai lets his hands land on Kunikida’s stomach, pretending to be thinking. Flattery is probably the quickest way to get Kunikida to let his guard down-- he doesn’t seem like one who indulges in compliments often. “Ooh,” Dazai says dramatically, faux-swooning, “Kunikida-kun, I can feel your abs through your shirt…”

It seems to work, because Kunikida averts his eyes and grunts. “Stop groping my stomach and get off me.” 

Despite his protests, though, he’s not pushing Dazai off. It isn’t a surprise to the brunet-- on their first meeting, Dazai had accidentally bumped Kunikida’s shoulder and he’d seized up like he’d been shot, so Dazai assumed he was the touch-starved kind. Even now, as Dazai rubs his hands innocently over Kunikida’s front, he seems to tremble under the light sensation. 

“I’ve always thought you were handsome,” Dazai says, batting his lashes. It’s not a lie-- Dazai does think Kunikida is handsome. It also just so happens that Dazai thinks getting into Kunikida’s pants will get him off the hook. “Say, what do you say we fuck?”

Kunikida gapes. 

“You know, just for old times sake before you kick me out.”

If possible, Kunikida’s jaw unhinges into further shock. “ Old times sake?   I’ve known you two months! And we’ve never- we’ve never slept together before!”

Dazai giggles and slides Kunikida’s shirt up his stomach. “There’s a first time for everything, huh?”

“Dazai-”

“Shush,” Dazai says, folding the hem of the shirt up past Kunikida’s pecs. He pauses for a moment, eyes flickering over two matching scars, right along the top of Kunikida’s ribcage. Kunikida flinches a little, and Dazai folds the shirt back down, just enough that his stomach is still exposed. It only takes a second for Dazai to recalibrate, and he’s already continuing to yap before he can even let Kunikida dwell on it, now prodding at his sides to see if he’s ticklish. “Live a little, Kunikida-kun.”

His hands find the button on Kunikida’s stiflingly-formal slacks. Kunikida’s still sputtering below him, but he doesn’t push Dazai off. Instead, he puts his hands tentatively on Dazai’s thighs, touch light like he’s scared of getting diseases from Dazai’s skin. 

“This changes nothing about the situation,” Kunikida says severely. 

Dazai tugs Kunikida’s pants down his hips. “Sure, sure.” 

“I mean it.”

“Kunikida-kun wears tighty-whiteys… I definitely could have guessed that… Ah, what’s this?”

Kunikida rolls his eyes. 

“Kunikida’s dick…” Dazai picks the packer up and tosses it over his shoulder.

“Don’t throw that!”

“I’ll pick it up later.” Dazai shifts so he can get Kunikida’s pants and underwear off his legs fully, then tosses those over his shoulder too. They land with a sad thump on the floor. 

“The way you live makes my skin crawl,” Kunikida informs him. His face is still red, and he’s shifting anxiously. 

Dazai crawls over him a little further, until he can brace his arms to either side of Kunikida’s head. “Is that a good thing?”

“Is- no , it’s not.”

“Are you nervous? You look nervous. Would it help if I kissed you?”

Looking at the ceiling, Kunikida grunts. “No. Why would that help?”

It’s a little cute, Dazai can admit. even if he still thinks the man has a stick up his ass. He laughs and leans forward, pressing a kiss first to the corner of Kunikida’s mouth, and then, when Kunikida doesn’t have an allergic reaction to that, to his bottom lip. 

Kunikida kisses exactly the way Dazai would guess he does: stiff, scared, and a little defensive. Dazai keeps muffling laughs into his mouth, licking at his tongue and giggling when Kunikida accidentally bites him. He pets Kunikida's hair, trying to relax him more, but he remains steadfast and tense. 

When he pulls back, though, Kunikida follows his mouth, so it must have been good for him at least. Dazai smiles and sits back up, moving down towards Kunikida’s groin. Kneeling at the end of the bed, he puts a hand on each of Kunikida’s thighs, marvelling a little at the strong muscle underneath. When he pries them apart, Kunikida squirms again and inhales sharply through his nose.

Dazai takes a second to look, still grinning. He probably looks like a total creep, he thinks, but he usually looks like a creep anyway. Kunikida’s hair is trimmed and neat, as predicted, and frames his clit nicely, pink and proud and about the size of Dazai’s thumb. Dazai wants to put it in his mouth. He moves forward to do so, but Kunikida snaps his legs shut, nearly catching Dazai’s head between them. 

Dazai frowns up at him. Carefully, he puts his hands on Kunikida’s thighs, high up next to his groin, thumbs just barely touching his cunt. 

“No- don’t-” Kunikida sets his mouth into a line and then says stiltedly, “I’ll do that part.”

Dazai pulls back a little, hands sliding back down Kunikida’s thighs, closer to his knees, which he pulls apart once again. He keeps his hands on Kunikida’s knees. “Alright. Are you okay?”

“Yes.” It’s clipped, no room for further question. Kunikida pats Dazai’s hands aside and instead gets to work sliding two fingers inside himself. It’s quick, one hard press and then his knuckles are sinking in, little dribbles of slick seeping out around his fingers. 

Sitting back on his haunches, Dazai watches unabashedly, hand working slowly over his sweatpants. He’s still in the pajamas he’s been wearing all day. When he presses his hand over his dick, half-hard, he groans, watching Kunikida move his fingers. The blonde’s expression is pinched, like he’s concentrating really hard. It makes Dazai think that even here, in bed, he’s not the kind to waste time. A pity. 

“Could you- not stare ?” Kunikida grunts. He’s moving pretty fast, Dazai thinks, watching him scissor his fingers. 

“Nope! No can do, Kunikida-kun, sorry, I just gotta stare- Hey, don’t you think you should slow down?”

Kunikida only glares at him, face flushed and sweaty. 

Dazai puts his free hand up in surrender, other hand sliding under the waistband of his sweatpants. He gets a hand around his dick and grins at Kunikida as he rubs his thumb over the head, the fabric of his sweatpants shifting with the movement. He watches Kunikida glance at it and then flush further. 

“You’d be cute if you weren’t a pain in the ass,” Dazai tells him cheerfully. 

Kunikida grunts, spreading his fingers wide inside himself. It makes Dazai’s mouth go dry. He barely catches it when Kunikida says,“I feel the same about you.”

“Ah!”

Kunikida jerks, eyes widening. His fingers still. “What? What’s wrong?”

“ Wrong ? Nothing’s wrong!” Dazai chirps. “I’m so happy! Kunikida-kun admitted he thinks I’m cute…”

The look Kunikida gives him makes even Dazai briefly twitch with fear, before the blonde shakes his head and pulls his fingers out of himself. A string of slick follows his fingers, and Dazai watches it greedily until it snaps. He shivers a little, squeezing his dick. He’s fully hard now, and though he’s not sweating like Kunikida, he’s starting to feel a little warm himself. 

Kunikida’s snippy voice gets his attention. “I don’t want to do this on my back.”

“Fine by me. Roll over, lover.”

“Don’t ever call me that.”

“Roll over, landlord.”

Kunikida grunts. “Stop talking.” He presses up onto his arms and rolls himself over, wrinkling his nose when he touches a stained part of the bedsheets. “You’re disgusting,” He says, putting himself on his hands and knees. 

“Thanks!” Dazai puts his hands on Kunikida’s hips, making a thoughtful noise. He pauses. “Kunikida-kun,” He says seriously, voice tight. 

Kunikida stiffens visibly. “...What is it?”

“You have a really nice ass.”

Turning to look over his shoulder, Kunikida gives him a withering look. 

Dazai gives him a wide, cheeky grin. “It’s true!” 

The look Kunikida is giving him is scary, so Dazai hurries along at pulling his sweatpants down. He gets a hand around himself, giving his dick a few perfunctory pumps. He watches Kunikida glance down, then grunt and turn back the other way so Dazai can’t see his face. The tips of his ears are red, though. 

“It pisses me off that you have a nice dick,” He informs Dazai. 

“Yeah, my bad,” Dazai agrees easily, lining up the head with Kunikida’s entrance. “Ready?”

Kunikida grunts affirmatively. Dazai wonders what he’s like when he’s relaxed, of it this is it-- is grunting and glaring the most relaxed Kunikida can get? 

The first push is a little tense, and Dazai pauses, rubbing the blonde’s hip. He shushes him like he would an agitated horse, and it kind of works. He files that information away for later. 

When his hips meet Kunikida’s ass, Dazai breathes out heavily. It feels good, of course-- Kunikida is unimaginably tight, probably because he’s a stuck up type A weirdo, Dazai thinks. He’s wet, too, and Dazai has to wonder if it’s the bickering that turns him on. Otherwise why else would he be such a nag? 

He folds forward to put his chin on Kunikida’s shoulder, digging it in hard to be a brat. “How’s it feel?”
Kunikida makes a wobbly noise. 

“I’m not fluent in angry grunts yet,” Dazai admits. “Please translate.”

“Feels-” Kunikida says, clipped, “-Good. Fine.”

“Good or fine? Pick one.”

“Good,” Kunikida says, like it’s being dragged out of him. His walls flex around Dazai’s dick, maddening and warm. “Just give me a minute.”

“Yessir,” Dazai chirps, turning his head so he’s laying his cheek against Kunikida’s back. He can hear his heartbeat, fast and hard. He presses a little kiss to the side of his neck. 

After a few moments, Kunikida breathes out hard through his nose and coughs, like he’s feeling awkward. “Okay. Go.”

Dazai snorts. “Go? Am I a car?”

“Don’t make me tell you twice, or we can wrap this up and move on to the part where I throw you out on the street.”

Dazai snaps upwards as fast as he can, putting his hands back on Kunikida’s hips firmly. “Going!” 

He pulls back carefully, watching Kunikida’s back move with his breathing. He’s got a nice back, Dazai can admit. Even with the shirt in the way. When he pushes back in, he does so with as much energy as he can muster. If he’s going to fuck his way out of paying rent, he’s gotta do a good job, he tells himself. 

Kunikida jerks and then sighs, the most outwardly pleased sound he’s made yet. It’s soft and reluctant, but it’s a start. Dazai takes it as a good sign and repeats the action, holding back a groan of his own. His fingers flex on Kunikida’s hips, pulling him back into the next thrust. This time Kunikida actually moans, and Dazai lights up in victory. The sound is hot, too-- something about seeing stuck-up Kunikida moaning around his dick. 

“Good?” He goads smugly. His own voice wobbles a little with a repressed moan, but he refuses to acknowledge that. 

“Shut up,” Kunikida growls, then lets out another low groan. 

Gleefully, Dazai obeys, focusing instead on angling his hips. Kunikida’s walls seem to suck him in, and Dazai almost wants to tease him about it, to call him a slut just to see the way he gets mad, but he doesn’t want to risk ruining it, so he just works his hips harder, faster, dragging Kunikida’s hips down on every thrust. 

He’s built a pretty good rhythm by the time he finds the spot he was looking for. Kunikida jumps in his hold, and Dazai grins, panting a little from the effort and the boiling pit of arousal in his stomach. “There?” He punctuates the question with a hard thrust. Kunikida gargles a little moan. It’s a little bit cute, but mostly funny. Dazai rubs his hip and folds himself forward again. His mouth finds first the back of Kunikida’s neck, and then his earlobe, which he bites. 

Kunikida makes a pissed off noise. “Don’t do that.”

“Lame.” Dazai moves his hips faster, but it’s difficult in this positon. His hand slides instinctively around to hold Kunikida’s front, pulling their bodies flush. His fingers twitch. He swallows and groans, “Still not allowed to touch?”

Kunikida moans at another thrust, then shakes his head. “Don’t.”

“Okay, you do it then.”

Shakily, Kunikida presses down to his elbows so he can get one hand under himself. Dazai doesn’t stop his movements, muffling his heavy breathing into Kunikida’s bad haircut. He can tell when Kunikida starts touching himself, because he clenches around Dazai’s dick and moans again, louder this time. Dazai speeds his hips up. 

“Are you less stuck up after you come?” He teases, breathless. He’s close, he can feel it, but he thinks Kunikida likes it when he’s awful, so he keeps talking, trying to get Kunikida to come first. “I mean, you definitely can’t be more stuck up, because that’s not possible.”

Kunikida grunts and starts moving his hips more frantically, trying to meet Dazai’s thrusts. Dazai laughs and continues, “Is that what you need? To be fucked so you stop making everyone else miserable?” Kunikida clenches around him, moving more frantically. Dazai hisses around another moan and jerks his own hips faster, messier. “You feel really good, Kunikida-kun,” He says, then bites his earlobe again just to piss him off.

“Shut up,” Kunikida grunts, and comes. 

Dazai can feel it, the way he’s clenching around him rhythmically, the way the rest of him stills. He seems to stop breathing for a moment, too, and Dazai almost worries for a second before Kunikida finally exhales, hard and loud and a little whimpery. It’s a little pathetic.

It’s hot, though, and Dazai groans in response, hips speeding up. He pants, “Close.”

Eloquently, Kunikida grunts, sagging further into the bed. 

“I didn’t wear a condom. Hold on-” Dazai braces his hands on Kunikida’s hips and makes to pull out, but Kunikida lifts a lazy arm and waves him off. Dazai slows down, despite the way his whole body protests, still trying to rush towards orgasm. “Really? Inside? Ah, Kunikida-kun, I knew you were a slut! Didn’t I say it?”

“Hurry up before I change my mind,” Kunikida says, turning his head on the pillow to look at Dazai, who picks up the pace again. And, oh- Kunikida is pretty from this angle, eyes still hazy, face flushed. Dazai much prefers when Kunikida looks at him like this than the usual glare. 

Dazai curses and groans, squeezing Kunikida’s hips tight. 

He comes with a low, long groan, eyes shut tight. Kunikida clenches around him obligingly, wringing out the pleasure from him lazily. He even makes a pleased noise, which Dazai files away for later-- he really is a slut, no joke. Dazai revels in it. 

Dazai shudders a little as he comes down, opening his eyes and panting. Kunikida’s looking at him, eyes narrowed. 

“What.”

“You make an awful face when you come.”

Dazai laughs breathlessly. “Thank you, Kunikida-kun.” He hisses as he pulls out, the cool air meeting his softening cock. “Do you feel like less of a nag now?”

“No. Do you feel like paying your deposit now?”

Dazai snickers. 

“What?”

Dazai reaches out with one finger and prods at where his come is leaking out of Kunikida’s cunt. “How’s that for a deposit?”