Chapter Text
3:07 PM
Ben created a group chat.
Ben added Viktor, Five, Luther, Allison, Klaus, Diego to the group chat.
Ben named the group chat I Don’t Have A Name For This.
Diego named the group chat Daddy Issues.
Klaus named the group chat the family of horrors 💅✨.
Klaus: @Ben get it
Ben: haha that's hilarious
Klaus: thanks I know 🐙😀
Allison named the group chat The Fam.
Luther: What is this?
Diego: Of course
Luther: What's that supposed to mean?
Diego: Boomer
Luther: We’re the same age
Klaus: Boomer
Diego: Boomer
Luther: Okay???
Allison: @Luther It’s very obviously a group chat!! 😌✊✨
Luther: Woah what are those
Luther: Also what’s a group chat?
Five: What the hell is this?
Allison: ITS A GROUP CHAT
Diego: Five acts like he’s better than us but then he can’t even read up
Klaus: We think Five is so smart but then he pulls this
Viktor: harsh you two
Ben: But fair
Five: Oh, you’re one to talk, Klaus.
Klaus: #offended
Five: The fuck does that mean?
Luther: What’s a group chat?
Klaus: Allison is painting my nails while she texts yall and she just sighed thought you should know
Diego: So basically a group chat is like texting individually (which you should understand by now, I know Lila helped you all set up your phones) but you can contact multiple people at once, i.e. what I’m doing right now
Klaus: damn just writes a full on essay then
Luther: okay thanks Diego
Diego: no prob
Luther: Hey Allison what were those little yellow things though?
Klaus: She just sighed again
Five: I still don’t see the meaning of this.
Viktor: Maybe you need glasses
Ben: 😳
Klaus: Viktor woke up and chose sassy
Five: You know what? I’m too old for this.
Five: Leave chat.
Five: Leave chat.
Viktor: Wait don’t leave
Five: Leave chat.
Viktor: I need to send some pictures before you leave
Allison: Ooh of what
Five: Leave chat.
Klaus: Don’t worry Viktor
Diego: Yup I don’t think you have anything to fear Vik
Five: Leave chat.
Luther: I don’t understand what’s going on but this is pretty funny
Luther: WOAH LOOK WHAT I FOUND
Luther: 😁
Diego: took you long enough
Klaus: The sigh count is currently at three!
Allison: Great job, Luther
Ben: Five do you know how to leave?
Five: Yes.
Five: Leave chat.
Allison: sigh
Klaus: 4!
Diego: Nope I don’t think he does Ben!
Ben: Oh this is comedy gold!
Viktor: Hang on Five stop
Viktor: Please?
Five: Fine.
Klaus: Favoritism!
Five: Favouritism*
Klaus: Okay you know what Five you can shut the fuk up
Five: Fuck*
Allison: SIGH
Klaus: sigh count five
Allison: Klaus I need to do your left hand now
Klaus: Can you do this one dark pink and pastel purple?
Allison: sure
Diego: Woah check it out
Diego: 🔪
Luther: Check THIS out
Luther: 💪
Allison: wait I wanna try
Allison: 🗣
Ben: 🐙
Klaus: 👻
Viktor: 🎻
Ben: ok Five your turn
Diego: ben he probably can’t even do it
Klaus: Be nice to old people Ben
Luther: Five want me to help you with the emoji things?
Five: I got it.
Five: 🖕
Allison: 💀
Klaus: That’s not very nice
Viktor: Guys! I have to send pictures!
Viktor: I don’t know how though actually
Diego: Got to your photos, press upload, and then send it to this group chat
Ben: How do you know so much?
Diego: Magic 🪄
Allison: Lila’s been teaching him
Klaus: 😏 p r i v a t e l y
Diego: Stfu
Ben: Language
Klaus: yeah Diego watch your fucking language
Luther: Oh my god
Allison: ANYWAYS
Ben: Anyways what?
Luther: what were you gonna say
Diego: you can’t just say “ANYWAYS” and then not write anything
Allison: It’s been ten seconds be patient
Allison: But there was no anyways I just wanted to change the subject bc it was boring
Five: Viktor, what did you want to show us?
Klaus: PICTURES
Viktor: Actually
Viktor: Yes
Viktor sent two photos.
Allison: Ooh looking good
Luther: 👍 nice haircut
Diego: 🔥
Ben: run Vik Diego is going to light your hair on fire
Ben: And that would be bad because that haircut is AWESOME
Klaus: VIKTOR
Viktor: Yeah
Klaus: YOU LOOK AMAZING
Viktor: thanks!
Klaus: I would give up my first born child to whoever gave you that haircut
Viktor: It’s just the same one I got in Obsidian so you can keep your child
Klaus: NO Oo but i hate kids
Luther: legally you are one
Klaus: THE Y ARE STILL GrosS
Diego: 🙄
Ben: Drama queen much??
Klaus: thx 👑✨
Viktor: @Klaus I don’t think the hairdresser would want your first child seeing as that would basically be giving her one of her grandchildren
Viktor sent a photo.
Diego: Mom!
Klaus: Omg can I take a selfie with mom too
Allison: I didn’t take mom as one to do the peace sign with Viktor but I love it ✌️
Luther: tell mom she did a good job on the haircut!
Viktor: she says “thanks sweetie”!
Viktor: also I say thanks as well (for the compliment)!
Luther: ❤️
Viktor: ❤️
Klaus: eW
Diego: stop acting like healthy siblings you two it’s disgusting
Ben: Viktor and Luther are too pure even for me 🤢
Viktor: hey where do Five go?
Five: I’m here.
Five: I don’t know how to leave so I’m just trying to ignore you guys until I get kicked from the group.
Luther: that’s kinda sad
Klaus: poor baby Five thinks people will leave him 😔
Five: Shut up.
Ben: guys be nice he has i s s u e s
Allison: lol
Five: Leave chat.
Diego: a t t a c h m e n t i s s u e s
Five: LEAVE CHAT.
Viktor: Five do you actually want to leave?
Allison: Viktor here asking the deep questions 🎤
Five: Yes.
Viktor kicked Five from The Fam.
Luther: Oh I didn’t expect you to actually do that
Ben: It seems mean and it would be if anyone else did it
Klaus: Because none of us would do it unless we were actually mad at Five
Ben: But Viktor’s just doing it to be nice!
Allison: smh you two 🤦♀️
Klaus: sigh count 6
Diego: I’m actually pretty invested in this sigh game now
Ben: @Allison Why are you shaking your head at me and Klaus?
Allison: Because
Luther: you literally finish each other’s sentences
Viktor: Like what you just did with Allison?
Klaus: 💀
Ben: 💀
Diego: 💀
Luther: I-
Allison: Well-
Viktor: Hang on
Viktor: Five wants me to add him back
Luther: That was fast
Diego: I expected him to last longer than four minutes at least
Ben: Yeah it’s been like two
Viktor: Oh wait I wasn’t supposed to tell y’all that
Klaus: Y’ALL??
Allison: Me and Viktor have been listening to too much Chappell Roan I think
Ben: Aww that’s sweet
Luther: So I take it you’re both feeling better towards each other
Allison: We talked it out
Viktor: We’ve come a long way
Allison: We’ve evolved
Ben: What are you? Pokémon?
Allison: Yes
Viktor: Yes
Ben: damn okay then
Luther: Add Five back he needs to see this
Diego: He’ll get jealous
Ben: why??
Klaus: Viktor’s his favorite everyone knows that
Viktor: I wouldn’t say that…
Diego: don’t worry no one needs to say it
Luther: it's just there
Allison: He won’t be able to deal with our bond
Viktor: Our awesome bond*
Viktor added Five to The Fam.
Five: I said I wanted to leave.
Viktor: That’s not what you told me in our texts
Five: You have no proof.
Viktor: 🤨
Viktor sent a screenshot.
Diego: Viktor is the best detective 🧐
Klaus: dam Five really was just like “add me back”
Viktor: He doesn’t need to explain things to me
Five: Klaus, I think you meant "damn".
Klaus: yknow what butch maybe I meant dam alright 🦫
Allison: Butch?? 💅
Viktor: Five is a butch lesbian confirmed
Diego: That put the funniest image in my head
Klaus: @Five get a buzz cut
Allison: @Five how many carabiners do you own?
Luther: Five what's your favourite sport?
Ben: @Five do you have any tank tops?
Viktor: No he’s still just wearing the uniforms all day and the Academy PJ’s at night
Klaus: tsk
Allison: tsk
Ben: tsk
Diego: teak
Viktor: tEAK??
Diego: I meant tsk
Diego: go play your violin or smth 😤
Allison: ooh burn wow 🙄
Viktor: you're just jealous because the only instrument you can play is a beat-up guitar (and you're not even very good at that)
Luther: why do you know this?
Diego: um
Viktor: um
Diego: I need a saviour
Klaus: so anyway about Five being in need of the fashion police
Diego: thank you
Ben: very sketchy you two... @Viktor @Diego
Ben: but yes Five please get new clothes
Five: I’ll wear what I want.
Diego: Do you really want to wear those uniforms though?
Five is typing…
Five is typing…
Luther: he stopped typing
Diego: That’s what I thought
Five: Shut up.
Klaus: Even Viktor got new clothes
Ben: Yeah he’s been back for what?? A week?
Viktor: yup new clothes (and some binders!!) and my room design is currently being thought through
Allison: keep us updated!
Klaus: Stil so angry you won't let me help with the design
Diego: your room looks like a crime scene, I understand why he didn't want your help
Klaus: okay chump so actually my room looks great
Diego: uh huh is that so
Ben: WOW VIKTOR you sure did get a lot done in a short time!
Five: Nice subject change.
Viktor: Yup only been back a week
Viktor: and yet I’ve still gotten more therapy than all of you combined
Five: You only went because the hospital said you had to. You’re still just as bad at this as the rest of us are.
Klaus: Fives version of a burn is just the facts
Five: Five’s*
Klaus: bitch-
Ben: Don’t you mean butch? 😂
Luther: Wait so Five do you want new clothes?
Allison: Yeah I’ll take you shopping
Klaus: Can I come?
Viktor: I’ll come as emotional support for Five
Five: I didn’t agree to this
Ben: You seemed to have a good time redecorating your room though
Viktor: That’s true
Viktor: I loved the bedspread you chose
Luther: …?
Five: I didn’t “redecorate” my room. And I’m not going to.
Allison: 🙄 They know they were being sarcastic Five
Ben: Yeah Five don’t worry your room still looks like a musty prison cell
Five: Oh.
Diego: Omg guys I just almost hit Luther with my knife I’m so goofy 😝
Luther: I KNOW
Luther: I AM TRAUMATIZE
Diego: chill out I just wanted to practice on a moving target and you were walking down the hall outside my room so it was perfect
Five: Luther, it's actually "traumatized".
Luther: SHU TUP BOTH OF YOU
Viktor: Oh my God Luther are you okay??
Allison: Diego that’s mean
Ben: You’re grounded young man
Diego: THATS NOT FAIR I DIDNT HIT HIM AND I COULd HAVE IF I WANTED TO
Klaus: haha you’re grounded
Luther: haha
Viktor: I feel like I heal inside a little bit every time we act like siblings
Allison: ❤️
Ben: That’s..
Ben: really sweet actually
Diego: Yeah I was gonna say 🤢 but i’ll let this one slide
Five: Every time you all act like siblings, it makes me feel like I’m sticking my middle finger up at Reginald.
Klaus: riiiiiiiiiight and that’s the only reason you like it when we do
Five: Yes.
Luther: Aw
Diego: Sure buddy
Allison: suuuuuuure
Klaus: makes sense
Five: I feel like you’re all being condescending.
Ben: No we’re not! ✨
Viktor: Did y’all seriously just text in your number order
Five: Did you seriously just complete the pattern?
Diego: Did you seriously say “y’all” again?
Viktor: I feel attacked
Klaus: @Diego @Five stop bullying Viktor
Allison: ✋
Ben: Allison Klaus Luther we have to protect Vik
Klaus: kidnap him
Allison: that doesn’t sound like protection but okay
Klaus: hehehehehehhehehhe
Viktor: I don’t consent to that
Allison: I’m afraid you don’t get a choice in this Vik 😔
Luther: Can we build a pillow fort?
Diego: Y E S
Five: No, thank you.
Ben: Who?? said you two were invited??
Diego: N O
Allison: That’s what you get
Luther: I’ll stand guard while you all make the fort
Diego: NONONO
Viktor: sorry Diego I don’t seem to have a choice in this
Viktor: OMG klauShhsbdk
Viktor: This is Ben, me and Klaus just kidnapped Viktor and we’re taking him to Klaus’ room to build a fort because they have the most stuffies
Viktor: Diego and Five aren’t invited -Ben
Viktor: Viktor wants me to tell you all he still doesn’t consent to this -Still Ben
Diego: THATS NOT FAIR
Luther: Life isn’t fair, get over it
Allison: Luther stole my Barbie sunglasses and he’s standing in front of Klaus’ room with his arms crossed
Viktor: Im back currently sitting on the floor while a fort is built around me
Viktor: Allison Klaus and Ben are the constructors
Klaus: we get the job done 💪 -Chappell our queen
Ben: yes ma'am yes I do
Allison: ur welcome
Viktor: Allison just placed a plastic crown in my head
Diego: Can I come?
Klaus: lemme think about thatNO
Allison: well now we can be reasonable but.
Allison: First you have to beg.
Diego: PLEASE PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING 🙏
Five: Pull yourself together, Diego.
Ben: after careful consideration we have decided:
Allison: no
Klaus: NO WAY BITCH
Diego: I’m gonna come!! I asked politely
Klaus: IF YOU TRY TO COME-
Ben: WE HAVE A BODYGUard
Luther: 💪👁️ 👄 👁️💪
Allison: BETTER WATCH OUT YOU TWO
Five: I don’t want to come, anyways.
Allison: Sure you don’t
Diego: I WANA COME
Klaus: TOO BAD WE HAVE A BODYGUARD
Viktor: Our bodyguard doesn’t look very menacing though
Luther: Hey!
Diego: @ViktorYour majesty can I come
Diego: To the pillow fort
Diego: please
Viktor: Sure??
Klaus: NO YOUR MAJESTY
Allison: BAD MOVE
Ben: AS YOUR ADVISORS WE STRONGLY DISAGREE
Viktor: WhAT??
Diego: HE SAID I COULD COME IM COMING
Ben: LUTHER11!
Allison: LUTH STAY ALERT
Klaus: DONT LET ANYONE IN
Luther: 🚨 OKAY OKAY
Viktor: Guys it’s okay!!
Allison: NO
Klaus: ITS
Ben: NOT
Diego: very in sync you three
Luther: 👏
Diego: BUT IM STILL COMING
Five: You all are acting like two year olds.
Viktor: okay buzzkill then you’re acting like
Diego: Like what?
Allison: Take a wild guess Diego 🙄
Viktor: oops I sent that too early
Viktor: Yknow what nevermind
Viktor: Sorry Five
Five: Ouch.
Luther: Technically you didn’t say anything
Ben: technically
Ben: But I think we got the gist
Viktor: I TAKE IT BACK
Luther: Take back what you didn’t say??
Luther: AH DIEGO IS HERE
Allison: SO DO YOUR JOB
Ben: NO LUTHER
Klaus: LUTHER GO BACK OUTSIDE
Diego: MWAHAHAHA
Viktor: 🤦♂️
Five: Oh my God. What happened now?
Viktor: Luther just got scared and ditched his post as my bodyguard
Viktor: Hes hiding inside the fort with me while Allison and Ben attempt to barricade the door
Luther: Klaus is building a wall of stuffed animals around us as we speak
Klaus: LUTHER YOU TRAITOR
Luther: IM SORRY BUT DIEGO SCARED ME
Viktor: honestly valid I'm pretty sure he has a knife
Diego: 🔪
Five: Where did you all go?
Klaus: aww u worried Five??
Five: Not really.
Allison: WE'RE HERE
Allison: RIP king Viktor
Ben: We tried to save him
Luther: But we were too weak
Ben: we??
Klaus: technically YOU weren’t Luther
Ben: where is the “we”?
Allison: Yeah Luther you were just too SCARED
Ben: me looking for the “we”
Luther: HE HAD A K N I F E
Diego: 🔪
Viktor: Ive been kidnapped
Viktor: again.
Five: On my way.
Diego: hOLY SHARTjn
Klaus: hooray for five!!
Luther: I’m still hiding in the fort what happened
Allison: FIVE wasn’t scared and he rescued Viktor
Ben: Meanwhile YOU were hiding in a pile of pillows and teddy bears 😤
Luther: 😔 Sorry
Klau: you SHOULD be
Viktor: Ive been saved!
Five: You’re welcome.
Ben: Jeez Five
Klaus: you really are a hero Five
Allison: 🦸♂️
Klaus: omg that looks just like him!
Diego: THIS MF LITERALLY JUST BLINKED IN FRONT OF ME AND THE KIDNAPPED KING
Viktor: I wasn’t very kidnapped
Viktor: you just came into Klaus’ bedroom with a knife, dug a hole in the fort, grabbed my hand and pulled me out of it, and then we ran down the hall
Viktor: Klaus Allison Ben and Luth were just screaming and panicking the whole time
Klaus: I feel called out
Ben: Why would you do us dirty like that Vik
Allison: after everything we’ve done for you
Diego: me and Viktor were just hanging out in my room playing darts while y’all screamed in here and then Five blinked in and stole Viktor
Viktor: 😀
Five: Just doing my job.
Diego: Screw you
Klaus: OUR HERO
Diego: I'll be back
Allison: THANK YOU THANK YOU
Ben: YOU SAVED THE KING
Ben: AFTER L U T H E R COULDNT DO IT 😤
Luther: LEAVE ME AL ONE
Five: Ben, Allison, Luther, and Klaus are back to acting like two year olds.
Klaus: Did we ever stop?? 🤨
Luther: Viktor has been returned to the fort and they’re fixing the hole
Diego: You haven’t seen the last of me 🔪
Luther: please no
Viktor: It’s so dark in here
Luther: Wanna tell scary stories?
Viktor: YES
Diego: I feel excluded
Ben: Omg the walls are almost soundproof in that fort
Allison: You can just hear them muttering and giggling sometimes
Klaus: 👻
Five: Are there ghosts in your room?
Klaus: actually no
Klaus: it’s because they’re telling sCaRY stORieS
Five: Okay. Let me know if there’s ghosts, though.
Klaus: You won’t be able to do much i’m afraid
Five: I can distract you?
Klaus: thx
Five: Don’t know what the fuck that means.
Diego: Aw cute
Diego: @Luther @Viktor can I come join your scary stories?
Luther: sure!
Viktor: yesssssss
Diego: yay!
Ben: NO
Allison: HISSSSSS
Klaus: BACK OFF BITCH
Five: I'm actually done with this.
Klaus: that's what u always say x
Diego: H EY
Viktor: Can we just invite EVERYONE?
Klaus: nAUR 💅
Allison: i’m really feeling the sibling love rn
Ben: Okay so now everyone is invited to the pillow fort + scary stories
Diego: Yay!!!
Ben: Everyone except Diego
Diego: wHAT- b-but-
Luther: he’s even stuttering in texts 😔✊
Allison: the struggle is real 😔✊
Diego: SHUT uP
Diego: But why does Five get to go but not me?
Five: Because I’m better than you. We know this already.
Klaus: it’s true we do
Diego: Five I am going to carve your brain out of your skull
Klaus: oop
Ben: 🧠
Allison: 💀
Luther: Awww
Viktor: Oh my god why are we like this
Klaus: daddy issues
Viktor: oh makes sense!
Ben: We are broken
Luther: We’re getting better though
Viktor: You could say that
Allison: HEM HEM
Allison: @Diego Five gets to come because he saved the king
Five: Again, you’re welcome.
Viktor: 👑
Ben: And might I remind you, Diego, that YOU were the kidnapper in the first place!!
Viktor: actually it was a pretty fun kidnapping
Diego: see!? I’m fun!!!
Five: Viktor, don’t feed his ego.
Five: His evil ego.
Luther: my favourite part is Five slowly turning from a sceptic of our game to becoming invested and even a part of it
Ben: Hear hear
Allison: ✊
Five: I’m not doing that. I’m just pointing some things out in your idiotic “game” and moving the plot along.
Ben: suuuuuure
Klaus: SUUUUUUUURE
Allison: 🙄 sure.
Klaus: Guys!! problem!!
Five: What's wrong?!
Ben: omg Five its fine
Diego: why is he like this like istg?
Viktor: I'll give you a hint: it starts with t, ends with a
Five: I'm stumped.
Allison: tea
Viktor: what the hell no
Klaus: tesla
Viktor: what :/ no no that's not it
Luther: trauma?
Viktor: ding ding ding we have a winner!
Five: Ha, ha.
Five: Actually, Klaus, what's wrong?
Klaus: My nails weren’t completely dry and I chipped half of the paint on my thumb off 😔💅
Five: I-
Ben: that’s not a very big problem
Five: Seriously, Klaus?
Diego: Yeah I agree we’ve been through worse
Luther: technically you could just say that for any issue though
Ben: shush
Diego: Luth if you don’t think we’re gonna utilize our trauma like that you’re crazy
Allison: @Klaus I’ll do another coat once we’re done
Ben: once we’re done having an awesome pillow fort you mean?
Diego: 😞
Luther: with scary stories?
Diego: 😔
Klaus: and most importantly
Allison: no Diego
Diego: 😭
Viktor: my kingdom is so mean
Five: I’m going to pass on that one. Diego can take my spot.
Diego: 😀
Luther: Aw Five
Klaus: FIVE YOU HAVE TO COME
Ben: Diego can come too if that will change your mind
Allison: Pleeeeeeeease
Luther: 🙏
Five: No thanks.
Diego: Five don’t be boring
Five: I’m not boring.
Viktor: Five cmon it’ll be fun
Five is typing…
Five: Fine.
Diego: Wow doesn’t even try to hide it
Luther: that’s pretty obvious Five
Klaus: FAVOROTUSM
Five: Favouritism*
Klaus:
Klaus: 😀🔪
Allison: Klaus woke up and chose violence
Ben: Klaus! Violence is not the answer
Five: To tell you the truth, I don’t feel very threatened.
Klaus: am i not threatening??!
Five: Not at all.
Klaus: oh…
Ben: Five you hurt their feelings
Five: Sorry not sorry.
Viktor: As king I hereby decree that everyone has to come to the pillow fort
Diego: HA in your faces everyone
Viktor: But Diego has to go get ice cream and spoons for everyone
Klaus: HA
Diego: Fiiiiiiiiiiiine
Allison: No bowls?
Viktor: No bowls
Luther: That sounds unsanitary
Klaus: We’re siblings so it doesn’t actually infect our genes because they’re the same
Luther: Aren’t we adopted?
Allison: 🤷♀️
Viktor: I forget sometimes
Klaus: that’s not the pooooint!
Ben: I’m not sure where you learned that reasoning but it makes no sense
Five: As the smartest one here, I can confirm Klaus is an idiot.
Klaus: yeah well at least i’m having fun in a cool pillow fort while you stand outside alone in my room like a LOSER
Viktor: hey now we can all be friends
Luther: can we???
Diego: I’m here and I brought ice cream!!
Viktor: yay!!
Allison: Come
Luther: Come in the fort
Ben: Coke in the fort
Ben: OOPS
Five: What the hell are you all doing in there?
Klaus: dRUGs
Allison: Theres no coke in the fort!
Luther: Yeah i’m allergic
Diego: Luther being allergic to cocaine is the funniest thing I’ve heard all day
Luther: ? I thought we were talking about coca cola?
Five: Of course you thought that.
Diego: IM ACTUALY FUCK ING WHEEZING
Luther: He actually fucking is
Ben: 🤦
Allison: 🤦
Viktor:🤦
Klaus: 🤦
Diego: THSI IS COMEDY GOLD
Allison: DIEGO CAME IN THE FORT!!!
Viktor: Ice cream!
Klaus: chillin chillin
Ben: ice cream
Diego: CHILLIN!
Luther: 🍦
Allison: Five come in the fort
Diego: Come in the fort
Klaus: Cum in the fort
Ben: Hjsjdjsjsjs
Viktor: there is no way that was an accident
Klaus: oh no it wasn't I want going to say it was
Diego: W T F
Allison: 💔💔💔 Klaus what in the actual hell
Klaus: 😊
Luther: I understood that one but I wish I didn’t
Five: This isn’t making me want to come in the fort.
Diego: but Five we have ice cream in here
Five: What flavour?
Klaus: MINT CHOC O CHIP
Five: Joke’s on you, I don’t actually care.
Viktor: Five please
Klaus: yeah Five we someone to come in here and be super sarcastic and aggressive
Luther: Pretty accurate description
Ben: I give that one 8.5/10
Klaus: thank you 🙏
Five: Fine.
Diego: woah you sighed really loudly
Viktor: I was just gonna say that
Diego: I said it first
Allison: because Viktor wears the crown his "you sighed really loud" counts more
Allison: so technically that was Viktor's win
Viktor: hehehe 👑
Diego: Dang
Luther: I mean how can you argue with that face
Luther sent a photo.
Diego: that's the little smile that five makes when he thinks were being REALLY stupid
Five: I have to make that face a lot.
Five: Also
Five: It's actually "we're".
Diego: NERD
Klaus: NEEEEEERD
Allison: so I guess Five is a neerd now
Luther: that's a fun word to say
Allison: Luther says the purest things sometimes
Klaius: of course he does he's Luther!
Ben: Vik you look like a goblin child in that photo
Viktor: that’s because I am
Klaus: omg yall I found candy in my pocket!!
Viktor: I decree we eat it
Luther: where did you get candy?
Klaus: idk it was just in my pocket
Allison: didn’t you get those pants from a thrift store?
Diego: Rando candy I like it
Ben: I do not like it
Klaus: shush Benny
Five: What candy is it?
Klaus: Reeses Pieces
Viktor: Ooh yummsbxmbjs
Five: So I heard there was candy.
Luther: JESUS FIVE
Viktor: Ah
Allison: DIEGO YOUA LMOST JUST STABBED ME WITH UR STUPID KNIFE
Diego: IT WAS REFELXES
Klaus: WE ARE BR O K E N 😁
Ben: YOU CANT JUST JUMP IN HERE RANDOMLY AND SCARE US LIKE THAT FIVE
Klaus: technically he can
Five: Technically I can.
Ben: technically the both of you can shut up
Five: I’m good.
Klaus: ooh someones pissy
Viktor: Why are you guys still texting we’re all in here
Klaus:
Ben:
Five: Good point.
(From Five’s phone’s POV)
1:09 AM
Five and Unnamed Contact
Five: Hey, is this the right number?
Unnamed Contact: Were you trying to talk to your brother?
Five: Yes. Which one are you?
Unnamed Contact: Guess
Five: I was trying to talk to Viktor.
Unnamed Contact: Ooh sorry this is actually Luther
Five: Viktor, I know it’s you.
Five: I’m changing your contact information.
Viktor: Am I that obvious?
Five: Pretty much. Also, you're the only one in the fort with your phone on.
Viktor: 🫤
Viktor: So….what was it you wanted??
Five: Everyone’s asleep.
Viktor: I can see that
Viktor: kinda
Viktor: it’s really dark in here
Five: I wanted to talk to someone but I don’t want to wake the others up.
Viktor: aww
Viktor: so you’d decided to wake me up instead? 🥰
Five: You were humming "Pink Pony Club" by Chappell Roan (quite loudly) and very obviously not sleeping, don’t pretend I woke you up.
Viktor: i
Viktor: waaaaaaait you know Chappell Roan??
Five: Um. Only because you and Allison play her dongs sometimes.
Viktor: ok sure but we're gonna have a dance party to Midwest Princess later
Viktor: ANYWAYS did you see Diego sleeping on Luther’s shoulder?
Five: I did.
Viktor: And you think it’s adorable right
Five: Yeah. (deleted)
Five: Yeah. I’m glad they can actually be siblings without having to fight with each other for dad’s attention now. (deleted)
Five: Yeah. I’m glad they can be like that now. (delete “they”)
I’m glad we can be like that now. (deleted)
Five: So how was it yesterday?
Viktor: very subtle subject change Five 😌
Five: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Viktor: It went fine.
Viktor: I don’t know, therapy is supposed to get better, right? Like, it'll start to help more and feel more comfortable the more you do it?
Five: I know absolutely nothing about therapy, but sure.
Viktor: I mean, the only problem is I can’t tell them ALL my problems…Which is kinda the point of therapy.
Five: Yeah, I doubt “I accidentally caused an apocalypse, and now I feel guilty” would go over well.
Viktor: sorry sorry I shouldn’t laugh
Viktor: I don’t want to wake anyone up
Viktor: But…yeah. It’s hard when you can’t really talk about the things that are really bothering you. I can explain how I feel dangerous, but Jane (my therapist) doesn’t really get what “dangerous” means when I say it.
Five: Hm.
Viktor: you don't need to text that you just said it aloud 😂
Five: Okay, okay.
Five: Even still, do you think it’s helping? I mean, do you feel any better?
Viktor: By “better” do you mean not actively trying to kill myself?
Five: Well.
Five: You could say that.
Five: So do you?
Viktor: I don’t know. I don’t know that I wouldn’t do it if I had the chance
Viktor: but I don’t know if I would.
Five: That sounds better to hear than you’d think.
Viktor: You guys have been very protective around me. I've barely been in a room by myself since I got back.
Five: We really don’t want you to hurt yourself again. I know you’ve probably heard this a million times since you got back, but you’re really important to us.
Five: I don’t know what we would do if you’d (deleted)
Five: Stop “aww”-ing so loudly!
Viktor: You act so grumpy all the time but you’re really just a big softie
Five: Once I figure out how to use this weird device, I’m going to block you.
Viktor: sure you are 😌
Viktor is typing…
Viktor is typing…
Viktor is typing…
Viktor: Anyways. Yeah. Therapy helped a bit, just talking about how I felt…and you guys have made it easier to talk to about… stuff as well.
Viktor: Texting is good too because I don’t have to actually look at anyone.
Five: I guess that purpose is ruined in here when we’re sitting right next to each other, though.
Five: And you just looked up at me.
Five: Stop laughing, you’ll wake them up!
Viktor: sorry 😂
Viktor: Yeah, I’m getting better, anyways
Viktor: We all are.
Five: Well. I’m not very good at this stuff, and I don’t think even the right people or the right words could help too much, so just…I’m here for you. Anytime you need to talk or anything.
Viktor: Oh sorry I didn’t mean to make you flinch I was just moving closer
Five: That’s okay.
Five: Hey, tomorrow, would you maybe want to help me with something?
Viktor: ?
Viktor: did you fall asleep? you’ve been typing for a while
Five: Could you maybe help me redecorate my room maybe? If you don’t want to that’s fine I was just thinking about it I might not even do it but I just thought…
Five: You know what. Nevermind.
Viktor: Nope too late I’ve already started thinking about what you could do
Viktor: And I know you’ve also started thinking about that so we’re doing it!
Five: Seriously, it’s fine the way it is.
Viktor: Five
Viktor: this is your BEDROOM, the place where you’re supposed to sleep every night; it shouldn’t be “fine”
Five: I guess not.
Viktor: Let’s brainstorm ideas! the night is young and so are we!
Five: We’re not actually fourteen, though.
Viktor: And the night isn’t actually young, it’s 1 in the morning and do i look like i care? 😀
Five: I can’t really see you, the light emitting from these weird devices isn’t quite enough to illuminate your facial features completely…
Viktor: :/
Viktor: so I was thinking you could do neon green for the walls
Five: I am regretting my decisions already.
(time skip because no one wants to hear them talk about room design!!! and also idk how to write that but we don't talk about that part 😀)
2:23 AM
Five: Should we put our phones away and get some sleep?
Viktor: Sleep is for the weak
Five: It’s 2:24 AM.
Five: Go to bed or I'll knock you out so you do.
Viktor: I doubt you could do that
Five: I definitely could.
Viktor: Try me 😌 Last time you underestimated me it didn’t go so well
Viktor: 💥😀🎻
Five: Touché.
Viktor: Okayyyyy fine I guess I’ll go to bed
Viktor: night, Five
Five: Goodnight.
Thanks for talking with me. Actually talking to me, not saying you’re fine when you’re not, I mean. And helping me with trying to fix another part of this terrible house. (deleted)
Viktor is typing…
Viktor: Thanks for talking with me
Viktor: You’re a good brother, Five
(delivered)
1:14 AM
Viktor: damm Five leave me on read then alright
Viktor: don’t sigh that loud you’ll wake them up!!
Five: I doubt a sigh will wake anyone up.
Five: Goodnight, Viktor.
Five: I guess you’re a good brother too.
Five: Even if you don’t think you are. (deleted)
Viktor: Thanks, Five.
Viktor: Goodnight
(delivered)