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“So…this is just our life here, eh?”
Gummigoo’s asked this question a few times over the course of the past month, be it in bewilderment or intrigue, and every time Pomni has given him the same answer. But as they sit atop the train car, wind humming against their rubbery bodies as the locomotive continues its steady travel down the mountainside, it’s the first time Gummigoo’s words have sounded more like a statement and less like an inquiry. Dare Pomni say, a resignation. Maybe that’s why Gummigoo opted to ride on top instead of inside the vehicle like everyone else, besides the ‘fresh air’ he claimed he needed. (Also probably so he’d also have an easier escape if the train crashed, Jax had called dibs on the driver spot since the train had built-in cannons, a feature which he of course heavily abused in their battle with their rival ghost train.)
“Pretty much,” she responds, wanting to look his way but unable to tear her eyes from the scene before them. A deciduous forest, sprawling and twisting in all directions below them like glass shattered into thousands of tiny shards, crawling up the surrounding mountain range until its vibrant yellows and oranges and lush greens are overtaken by the snowy tops, leaving nothing but dry, decrepit wood in its wake. The sun is setting, tucking itself behind the mountains for slumber, and with the last hour or so it still has to be seen, it’s illuminating the mountainscape with an array of warm colors. For once there’s no whimsical element to the environment Caine’s created; it’s not built like spotless, cheap plastic or made with some screwball theme in mind. It is agonizingly real, recreating some foggy memory buried in the recesses of Pomni’s mind that she can’t put her finger on but she knows it exists and it’s just taunting her with its refusal to show itself.
Somehow, this setting feels worse than if it were just Caine’s typical cartoony nonsense, yet Pomni still finds herself grateful she and Gummigoo tagged along. It is, after all, the closest Gummigoo will ever come to seeing a real forest.
And the closest she’ll ever come to laying eyes on one again.
“Do you regret it?” Pomni asks, finally managing to rip herself out of her trance and face Gummigoo. Though he, similarly, doesn’t seem to have his attention on her. His eyes are distant and clouded, focused dead set on something that only he can see. It’s not dissimilar to how she first found him in the out-of-bounds, claws holding his hat so tightly it could rip.
Foggy though his mind may be, Gummigoo still seems to register her words - and without an ounce of hesitation, he shakes his head. “No. Not at all.” His tone is soft and his voice uneven, but Pomni knows he means it. “It’s better than if I just stayed behind and faced…whatever the ringmaster does to us whenever we’ve fulfilled our purpose.” He pauses, sighing deeply. “Sometimes I think I should’ve brought the lads along with me, but…I know I couldn’t have done that to ‘em. The last thing I would want to do is put someone else through what I went through. I don’t think they would’ve acclimated here that well, either.” A quiet, fond chuckle trills from his throat. “Laziest chaps I’ve ever met. Loved ‘em like my own blood, but they couldn’t get jack done without me babysittin’ ‘em. Max grew up in a fancy household gettin’ everything handed to him on a silver platter, and only joined the likes of us street urchins after his old man went bankrupt, and Chad, well, he just liked goofin’ off. Not sure how well they’d adjust to all this hustle and bustle.”
The smile playing across Gummigoo’s jaw is sincere, but somber. He’s most certainly aware of the futility of recounting his memories. On how they’re just that - memories. Scenes that only exist in his head, to drive his actions in the now. He, Max and Chad didn’t grow up together. All the hijinks they found themselves in are little more than recreations of a life stitched together by Caine. Max’s wealthy family never existed. Gummigoo’s sickly mother never existed.
Gummigoo lifts his head to face the sky, his maw tugging back into a rigid frown. “…I just hope there’s a lot of syrup wherever they are.”
Pomni’s mouth presses into a thin line, and she inches her way closer to Gummigoo’s side, stopping just before their arms can brush against each other. For a second she contemplates placing her hand on his shoulder or atop his claws, perhaps to anchor him in the moment, but she decides against it. That might not be what he wants right now and, besides, it’s not like she’s all there either. She is far too focused on Gummigoo’s last words - she can only hope that Caine never closed down the candy kingdom, that the simulation is just playing in the background and all the NPCs they left behind are carrying on life as usual, but that’s just wishful thinking. If Caine let every world he made for an adventure keep running then the computer would probably break. Wherever Max and Chad are - best case scenario probably being that they’re just stored in the game files somewhere, dormant but not dead - Gummigoo escaped the same fate by a hair’s breadth. Maybe even worse if Caine was to ‘take care’ of him directly like he intended.
Reminiscing on the moment is still enough to get Pomni’s head pounding and her metaphorical heart skipping frantic beats - Gummigoo was just mere milliseconds away from being subjected to God knows what when Pomni managed to interrupt Caine, on the cusp of snapping his fingers and bending reality to his will again. It took an excruciating few moments to convince Caine to let the intruder stay - he wasn’t swayed when Pomni explained how Gummigoo’s entire world view was shattered and he just couldn’t in good conscience stay back home, nor when she told him how attached she had become to Gummigoo over the course of the past few hours. If he let every NPC the players befriended stay at the Circus, Caine had said, the place would be overrun with them within a week. It was Ragatha, thank God for her, who finally persuaded Caine, with the reasoning that if Gummigoo stuck around he’d be able to study his more advanced AI and therefore be able to make even better creations in the future.
Caine, ever dedicated to his craft, jumped at the opportunity, and the name tag that now hangs above Gummigoo’s head at all times serves as a constant reminder of Caine’s approval.
And, of course, that Gummigoo isn’t like them.
And never will be.
“But I like it here,” Gummigoo breaks his silence to assure Pomni, as if he had read her mind. “It isn’t perfect, but I wasn’t expectin’ it to be. The adventures are fun. The folks are kinda odd, but I like most of ‘em. And, besides, you’re here.” He turns, a subtle but bright smile on his face. “If we really are stuck here for eternity, spending that time with you doesn’t sound half bad.”
Pomni’s eyes widen to what feels double their size - she’s honestly surprised she doesn’t do another wild take in response to Gummigoo’s words. Instead, equally shocking, she feels her face grow burning hot. Caine seriously programmed their avatars with blushing but they still can’t taste things normally? She is gonna kill that man when they get back to the Circus. All she can hope is that she at least doesn’t look as ridiculous as when she holds her breath.
“Well, uh - spending eternity with you doesn’t sound half bad, either.”
Gummigoo’s grin becomes more noticeable, the corners of his mouth tugging up in his amusement. “I never did get to properly thank you, Pomni. Seriously, I owe you one. I wouldn’t be here without you.”
Pomni averts her eyes away from Gummigoo, waving her hand in dismissal. “H-hey, don’t say that. Ragatha’s the reason you’re here, not me. I just invited you, which, I mean…I feel like anyone else would do the same.”
“Eh,” Gummigoo responds with an impartial shrug. “Not sure with this lot. They’re nice, but I’m not sure if any of them would extend that type of charity my way.” He pauses, giving a short exhale, and sends a weak smile Pomni’s way. “Glad you were the one who ended up out-of-bounds with me.”
Pomni reciprocates to the best of her ability, the rare expression of genuine happiness still feeling like it doesn’t belong on her face. She’s awkward and stiff, but sincere, and Gummigoo seems to know it.
“Yeah, I - I am, too,” Pomni chokes out, face still terribly warm. It’s a foreign sensation, at least in this body, but one she doesn’t entirely hate. “I, um…I probably already told you this, but I’m really glad I met you.”
In the evening sun making Gummigoo’s gelatinous body appear almost luminescent, his face softens further. Pomni takes it as him urging her to continue.
“Just - when I first met you, I…I had been the loneliest I had ever been in my entire life,” Pomni stutters out, fidgeting with the dangling chunk of plastic that’s supposed to be her hair. “I had just arrived at the Circus, and I was lost, and confused, and scared, and…in retrospect it was awful for me to think, but I felt like nobody cared. Everyone was just so - I dunno, casual about the whole thing and I felt like I was the only one who wasn’t either crazy or stupid . Which was just…really shallow of me, looking back, thinking that nobody else here had struggled the same way I did. I’m sure they all felt the way I did on their first day. So with the way I thought back then, when I first met you in the out-of-bounds, I finally found someone feeling as lost and afraid as I was, and for the first time I…finally felt like I wasn’t alone.”
Pomni pauses, a small shudder ringing through her rig as a wave of shame hits her. Yet, she continues. “If I could go back, I would change how I acted. I’d try to understand them right off the bat, maybe then I wouldn’t have been so selfish - I-I regret how I acted those first couple days, but…” She turns to Gummigoo, trying to force a smile, but failing. Her words are dead serious, but kind. “I don’t regret meeting you. D-Does that make sense?”
“Ay,” Gummigoo responds with a nod of his head. He grins, a gentle but teasing thing, and places his hat atop Pomni’s head with a playful smack. She yelps and shoots him a glare, but it’s an obvious overdramatization, and Gummigoo knows so. “And stop talkin’ about yourself like that, for the record. As you said, I’m sure everyone else was feelin’ the exact same thing you were when they first arrived here. If you’re right with how different your world is from this one and how sudden you bein’ sucked in here all was, I wouldn’t exactly blame you for being a mess on your first day. Doubt the others do, either.”
“Y-Yeah. I hope so…” Pomni says meekly, before regaining her confidence and putting Gummigoo’s hat back on his head with a shove and a lighthearted smile. He snorts, amused, grabbing the hat and holding it close to his chest once again.
“I’d like to see the place you and the others came from one day,” Gummigoo continues, a wistful echo in his voice. “Sounds like a nice place.”
Pomni frowns and offers him a shrug. “I…don’t really think that’d be possible. Even if we did find a way out…and it’s better than this place for sure, but it’s not like it’s all that great, either. It’s pretty boring, and a lot of people aren’t that nice, either…not sure how much you’d like it.”
Gummigoo hums. “Eh. If nothing else, I at least want to see what you really look like. You’re already dang pretty like this, the real you would probably knock my socks off.”
Pomni feels like her hypothetical brain practically short-circuits at Gummigoo’s words. Floored, her mouth hangs agape, threatening to literally drop thanks to her avatar’s dumb cartoony physics. Maybe Caine was onto something with digital hallucinations, she’s having a hard time believing Gummigoo actually said that to her. The burning sensation on her face returns.
“…I’m sorry?”
Gummigoo raises an absent eyebrow, seeming genuinely concerned by her response. “Sorry, did - did I say somethin’ wrong?”
Pomni narrows her eyes quizzically, finally able to scramble together enough words to form a full sentence. Almost against her will, she feels the corners of her mouth quirk up into an incredulous smile. “Are you hitting on me?”
“If that’s what you folks call it, then I guess I am, yeah.”
Pomni blinks, regaining her composure after a long internal struggle. She’s torn between giving Gummigoo a timid smile or hiding her face behind her hand, so she ends up doing some awkward gesture that does both halfway. It is humiliating, really, how the best responses she’s coming up with would sound much more fitting coming from a flustered high schooler than a grown woman, though it also probably tracks with the last time she properly dated someone. And it’s not like she can really blame herself for being so taken aback, either; the last thing she expected anyone to describe her stupid jester avatar as was attractive.
“Well, you’re not a bad sight for sore eyes, either,” Pomni stumbles out her answer. And he really isn’t, at least, as appealing as an anthropomorphic digital alligator made out of gummy candy could be. Which is surprisingly a lot. (Oh God, did Gummigoo awaken something in her?) “So, uh, is this just an observation on your end or do you - ”
“I like you, jester,” Gummigoo confirms before Pomni can even finish her question. His voice, gruff though it may be, carries a softness to it that Pomni doesn’t think she’s heard from him before. “I really do like you.”
When Pomni’s only response is a wide-eyed stare, Gummigoo’s expression morphs, and he fumbles out a reassurance. “I-I mean - not to say you need to feel the same way about me, just - shoot, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable - ”
Gummigoo’s apology jumps Pomni back to attention, and she shakes her head quickly. “N-No, no, you didn’t - ” She stops, eyes trailing down from Gummigoo’s face to his claws, now resting idly in his lap. Hesitantly, she reaches out, taking his hands in her own when he offers her the smallest nod of approval. “I think you’re pretty nice, too.”
Gummigoo’s eyes brighten, his expression warm and almost in disbelief. They’re nearing the base of the mountain now, the train starting to be at level with the taller trees, casting moving shadows and dots of evening sun across Gummigoo’s form.
“I hope you wouldn’t mind if I kissed you, jester.”
“I don’t think so,” Pomni says, her mouth forming a tiny pout. “I’m…just not entirely sure how’d that work with these bodies…”
“No better time to experiment than now, if that’s alright with you.”
Her hands still clasped in Gummigoo’s, Pomni nods and squeezes her eyes shut.
She can’t really pucker her lips - well, she doesn’t really have lips to pucker in the first place - so she just resorts to pressing her mouth into a tight ‘O’ and leaning in. Pomni’s head is practically a textureless sphere, all her facial features painted on more so than being carved into her. She can’t particularly remember the last time she kissed someone - and definitely not the last time she enjoyed kissing someone - but no matter how hard they try Pomni knows they won’t be able to perfectly replicate what a real kiss feels like.
Gummigoo’s breath is hot on her face as he meets her halfway. He, similarly, doesn’t have much flexibility with his mouth, so Pomni feels like she’s kissing him on the nose more so than his mouth. It’s not a bad feeling, per say, and it’s sweet how Pomni can feel Gummigoo trying to adjust his jaw to properly kiss her, but it’s undeniably awkward.
Pomni pulls back, opening her eyes back up, to which Gummigoo does the same. His eyes are wide and Pomni can see the yellow jelly on his cheeks begin to shift into a light red hue as he blushes. It’s a foreign expression on him, and it’s really quite cute.
“Uh - let’s try that again, alright?” Pomni suggests, and Gummigoo responds with an awkward nod. She pries her hands out of his claws and goes to cup his face, fiddling with his jaw as she tries to figure out what the best position for his mouth would be. Her prodding earns her an awkward chuckle from Gummigoo, to which she just responds with a poor imitation of a flirtatious smirk.
Pomni finishes messing with Gummigoo’s face, settling on having his upper jaw jut out slightly more than his lower jaw, and she gestures for him to keep that position.
“Let’s try it again this way,” Pomni says, barely above a murmur. Her hands still cradling Gummigoo’s face, she leans in once again, eyes fluttering close just as the train passes a clearing and the sun spreads across them once again.
Straining, Pomni manages to jut out the bottom half of her mouth, and Gummigoo meets her halfway once again. Their mouths press into one another, the bottom half of Pomni’s locking with Gummigoo’s upper half, and finally, they’ve met in something that resembles a proper kiss. The tension in Pomni’s body dissolves as she presses further against Gummigoo’s mouth, her hands traveling from his cheeks to the underside of his jaw.
Pomni feels her mind begin to cloud up - it’s quite contradictory, really, the contact should be grounding her, but be it the sun or her malleable digital form or the fact an alligator’s snout and a painted-on mouth somehow fit together, Pomni almost feels like she’s floating. At some point their mouths open slightly, initiated by Gummigoo, his breath hot against her face as his hand finds itself entangled in a strand of her makeshift hair. It’s a sweet kiss, and a meaningful one, albeit chaste - with these bodies it’d be a struggle to deepen it, though Pomni doesn’t particularly mind that at the moment. Her chest feels light and her head even lighter and it isn’t until Gummigoo pulls away that she realizes the fogginess in her head was a byproduct of her being truly, genuinely happy for once.
“Can’t say I’ve kissed a jester before,” Gummigoo comments, the redness still prominent on his cheeks betraying his attempt at a confident demeanor.
Pomni fights the urge to snicker. “Have you kissed anyone before?”
“Nah. You got me there,” he replies, taking Pomni’s hand in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze.
“And you don’t mind that I’m your first?”
“Not one bit,” Gummigoo answers, pulling Pomni into his lap, and their mouths meet again.