Chapter Text
Twisting in front of the mirror, Bea felt her cheeks heat. Why had she made this? Yes, the girls at the shop hadn’t stopped talking about a new trend in underthings but she shouldn’t have given in. This garment was more lace than cloth and left very little to the imagination. While she could see why someone might want to wear this for a lover, the confidence to do so was beyond her.
She huffed softly as she dropped down on her heels and started at the outfit. She didn’t know what had possessed her to make it out of these dark colours but when the shipment had arrived last week she’d given in. They’d been a bit of an impulse purchase anyways and hadn’t been attached to a client’s order. She hadn’t wanted them to just gather dust in the shop so she had done this…and perhaps she shouldn’t have.
Sighing, she wrapped herself in a dressing gown. Well, she had tried it so she knew she could make them. Hopefully that would be enough for the girls to stop asking for it. Now to just-
The bedroom door opened behind her.
Heart leaping into her throat, she glanced over her shoulder even though she knew it was him. No one else would come into his room without knocking. “You’re back early,” she said, hoping her voice sounded even.
Jude gave her an odd look that told her she had most likely failed. “Ya gotta problem with that?”
“Of course not.” If he’d wrapped up early, things had likely gone smoothly which seemed to be a rare occurrence these days. But she’d expected him later which was why she’d tried this damn thing on. She wasn’t ready for him to see her in it nor hear his opinion on it. She wasn’t sure she ever wanted either of those things to happen. “I’m going to take a bath,” Bea said.
He grunted quietly, shrugging off his overcoat. But she could feel his eyes on her as she moved to the bathroom.
It was hard to breathe until she closed the door behind her. Sagging against it, she quietly cursed herself. There was no way he didn’t know something was up. Hiding things from him on a good day was almost impossible but how would she do it when she was already on edge? There was no way she could have known he’d wrap up early but why on the one night she’d worked up the courage to try wearing it?
Crossing to the tub, she let the dressing gown drop to the floor and turned on the taps. She just needed to get into the bath and forget all about it. Her nose wrinkled as she realised she hadn’t grabbed a nightgown before coming in. Well, she’d have to deal with that later. She wasn’t going back out there while she was still in this.
She twisted her hair up as the tub filled and reached for the ribbon between her breasts.
“Whatcha wearin’?”
Bea gasped and spun around. She hadn’t even heard the door open! How long had he been standing there?! “What are you doing?” she squeaked.
“Me? You’re the one bein’ suspicious,” he said, lazily blowing out smoke. “Ya ain’t even said hello.”
She hadn’t? Of course she hadn’t because she had been worried about him seeing her in- Her eyes widened. “Get out!” she cried, spinning away from him.
Another exhale before she heard the clicking of shoes on tile. Coming closer, not leaving.
“Jude, please, go-” Her voice gave out as a cold finger touched the back of her neck and trailed down her spine until it hit lace.
“Don’t like repeatin’ myself, princess,” he said lowly, his voice making her shiver. “So answer my question.”
Bea bit her lip, trembling as he traced along the edges of the lace. “The girls asked me to make it,” she whispered.
Smoke and sandalwood filled her senses as he moved closer. “And you hid it?”
“I didn’t want you to see,” she said in a small voice.
He seemed to pause before he reached past her to turn off the faucets. “Who else ya gonna wear it for?” he growled.
“No one! I didn’t want to wear it at all!” She made a noise when he hauled her around, immediately crossing her arms over her chest. The bodice had too much lace and her breasts were straining against the lacing. Why wouldn’t he just leave?!
“Why ya fuckin’ hiding from me? Ain’t like I haven’t seen ya before.”
Heat flooded her face as she kept her gaze focused on one of his buttons. Before was different. She was usually so awash in pleasure from whatever he was doing to even care what he saw. But this was putting herself on display and she didn’t want that.
Long fingers gripped her chin and jerked her up to look at him. “What’s goin’ on here, princess?”
She didn’t want to look at him. And she didn’t want him to look at her. Making this damned thing had been a mistake and she was never doing it again.
Jude watched her with narrowed eyes that made her quail. He would see right through her, see what she didn’t want him to know. Couldn’t he just let her have this and go away?
“It doesn’t suit me!” she blurted, nerves getting the better of her as he remained silent.
“Says who? Someone see ya in it before me?”
Why did he sound angry? “No! Of course not! No one’s seen me in it. No one was supposed to see me in it!”
He was giving her a look she recognised but it had never been directed at her. It was the one he got when he was going over a contract, making sure he analyzed every single inch of it from every angle. “Why make it if ya ain’t gonna wear it?”
“The girls want to sell it.” If he hadn’t caught her in it, she would have never admitted to anyone that she had made the prototype for herself. No one at the shop would question her about it; if anything they would assume she’d made it for one of her sisters.
A low hum of consideration. “Show me.”
Bea gaped at him as he let go of her chin to grab her wrist. “W-What?” she stammered as he pulled her back into the room.
“If you’re gonna sell it, ya gotta test it on the intended market,” he said over his shoulder.
She continued to sputter even after he let her go. She stood in the middle of the room as he moved to settle in his chair and lit another cigarette. He could not be serious. He couldn’t be! Shaking her head, she took a step backwards.
“Ya’ll regret it if ya run.”
She already regretted all of this! Bea stared at him, feeling sick. “Jude, I can’t,” she whispered.
“Why not? You’re already wearin’ it so show me.”
But all of her flaws were on display in this outfit! It was cut low over her breasts, the legs barely reached midthigh, and the lace was transparent enough that it may as well not be there.
“Beatrice.”
Her gut clenched. No. No, no, no. He knew exactly what he was doing saying her name like that. He knew that it always made her melt! How could he use it now?! She stared at him, feeling helpless when he made a twirling motion with one finger. He wasn’t going to let her leave, not unless she did what he wanted. But…could she actually do this?
He didn’t move as she struggled, slowly working on his cigarette. His eyes never left her for a moment and kept her pinned to the spot.
What was she even supposed to do? She didn’t handle the front of house; she simply made the clothes. How was she supposed to show him?
“Ya gonna show me or just stand there?”
“What do you want from me?”
“What do I want?” Jude repeated. “I wanna know what the hell is goin’ on with my girl that she hides from me.”
She blinked at him. What?
He exhaled hard and gave her a scathing look. “Ya ain’t been actin’ right since I got here. I don’t get why that-“ He waved at her outfit. “-is makin’ ya act like this.”
“It doesn’t look good on me.”
“Says. Who.” He said the words shortly, nearly spitting them out. “I’m the only one who’s seen ya in it and I ain’t said that shit.”
There was that anger again. It didn’t seem like it was directed at her but what was he mad about?
Jude stubbed out his smoke and leaned back in his chair. “Show me, princess. Show me what you made.”
Why was he mad? Because she said it didn’t look good on her? It didn’t! But she took a small step toward him. “They’re modified combinations,” she said softly.
“I’ve seen yer combinations. They don’t look like that.”
“They’re not for everyday wear. They….” They were meant to be exciting, playful, sexual. They weren’t meant to be worn for very long and were designed to come off easily.
“That much lace ain’t gonna be comfortable for long.”
“You’re supposed to take it off,” she whispered, blushing.
He hummed low in his throat. “An invitation to play with ya? Pretty wrappin’ for a pretty present?”
Bea shrugged. It wasn’t how she would describe it but he wasn’t wrong. It was meant to entice a partner into wanting the wearer, into wanting to get it off of them.
He sucked on his cheek, considering her with narrowed eyes. “But ya think it doesn’t look good on ya.”
“It doesn’t.”
“Why?”
Did he really want her to admit it? Did he want her to say it out loud? Her eyes dropped from his, staring at his shoes as misery washed over her. “Because I’m fat,” she said in a small voice.
“What.”
Her throat grew tight. She’d already said it once. Was he really going to be so cruel as to make her say it again? No. She couldn’t do this. She didn’t care what he did to her for running, she needed to get away from him and out of this thing.
She spun on her heel, moving toward the bathroom. She barely took a step before hands clamped onto her hips, digging in and holding her in place. “Jude!”
“Shut it,” he growled, hauling her to the chair. He spun her to face him before pulling her down to straddle his lap. He held her in place when she tried to squirm away, snapping, “What did ya just say?”
Bea stared at him before shaking her head.
He gripped her chin and gave her a small shake. “What did ya fuckin’ say about my girl?” he demanded.
She blinked at him. What? “I’m…fat.”
“So?”
Frowning at him, she wasn’t sure he understood what she was trying to say.
He gave her another shake. “Tch, is that what all that shit is ‘bout?” he muttered.
What was he talking about?
He gave her a look that would have had her moving away from him if he’d let her. “Ya think I don’t notice how ya barely let me see ya naked? Or how fast ya get dressed in the mornin? Or that ya prefer the lights bein’ off when I fuck ya?”
Her eyes slid away from him, a flush settling on her cheeks. She’d never thought about it before because he’d never commented on it but she should have known better. Reading people was what kept him alive. Of course he had noticed her behaviour.
“Thought I was the damn problem,” he muttered.
She turned back to him. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
He snorted. “There’s plenty wrong with me, princess,” he said dryly.
“Jude-”
“No. Whatever you’re gonna say, no.”
“You don’t-” She huffed when his grip on her chin changed to force her mouth shut.
“I don’t wanna hear that bullshit,” Jude said lowly, holding her gaze. “I told ya no one ever gets to hurt ya. That includes you if you’re gonna fuckin’ cut yerself down.”
He hadn’t let go so there was nothing she could say to that. A shiver ran through her as his other hand trailed down her side.
“Fat,” he muttered. “Ya say it like it’s a bad fuckin’ thing. You’re fuckin’ healthy.”
She frowned at him. What was he on about? She jerked upward when he pinched her belly, whining softly. What was he doing?!
Jude stroked his fingers lower, trailing them along the edge of lace around her thigh. “Fat,” he repeated, sounding even more annoyed than before. “Fat. Ya hid from me for somethin’ that stupid?”
A gasp left her when he gripped her ass, fingers digging into her. She made a protesting noise as he didn’t let go, pain zinging through her.
“Who made ya think that dumb shit, princess? Who put that in yer little head?”
His hand finally moved, sliding down to loosely grip her throat. She swallowed reflexively as his thumb slowly rubbed along her neck. “No one,” she said softly.
“Bullshit. Ya don’t just think that on yer own.” He paused, pale eyes considering her. “Yer sisters love ya so it ain’t them. Who was it?”
“Just…people,” she admitted. “They think they’re being kind but their words are poison. They compare me to my sisters, my mother, like it’s supposed to make me happy. I’m the only one that looks like this and they want me to look like them. They think I’d look better if I was blonde, thinner, smiled more, gave more.”
No comment from him, just those slow strokes of his thumb.
“Are you sure you should eat that? Haven’t you had enough? That isn’t very ladylike. Oh that would look better on Maggie. You could look like her if you tried.” The words wouldn’t stop coming and she felt bile clog in her throat. But she pushed them out. “Good for a fuck and not much else.”
His hand tightened on her briefly even as his expression froze. She saw the shift in his eyes however, saw the anger bordering on rage, before they narrowed. “Who?” he demanded.
I don’t remember. The lie hovered on her tongue but she couldn’t say it. She couldn’t lie to him right now even though she had a damn good idea what would happen to whomever she named.
Jude made a low noise as she whispered the names, his thumb rubbing over her throat again. “Good girl,” he said quietly. “Now sit still for me.”