Chapter Text
Tav supposed it shouldn’t have surprised her that they were here. Again. With Gale’s grim determination to blow himself off the face of Toril, and her insistence that he was being an idiot.
Unfortunately, he was her idiot and she wouldn’t entertain the thought now, surrounded by the Absolute’s carnage, anymore than she did back in Moonrise.
“We’re not having this argument,” She growled. Her tail swung in a wide arch behind her, a tiefling’s dead giveaway that they were at abouttomurderyou levels of annoyed. “I thought we were over this nonsense. We need you. End of.”
They had just fought their way past countless cultists and intellect devourers to get where they are now. Hells, they had fought their way up half the Sword Coast to get here, to this very moment. Their allies were scattered nearby and ready for commands, their morale bolstered by a rallying pep talk that she had put a lot of effort into, damn it. There was no way that they walk away from this final battle anything other than victorious against the Grand Design.
They had a plan. And Gale sacrificing himself before the battle even started properly was not in their plan.
“I’m simply asking you to consider all the options, Tav! Please hear me,” Gale had placed himself between her and the undulating stalk of the Netherbrain, grabbing her shoulders as if he could shake reason into her. “Perhaps it wasn’t the correct moment before, I should have been throttled even considering putting you and our friends at risk in the detonation zone before, I will wholeheartedly agree to that. However, this is the moment, no one needs to get hurt if we go up there –”
“No one needs to get hurt except for you, you mean?” She snarled. The rest of their companions conveniently had stepped out of the crumbled doorway leading to the brainstem. Tav can sense them, doing their best to give her and Gale this moment at the end of the world. She barely registered Astarion slamming his dagger into the neck of an approaching mindflayer with a sickening crunch. They're carving out precious few seconds for this damned conversation to happen and, were she focussing on anything beyond her ire and encompassing fear, Tav would be grateful to her friends.
“Because I’m no studied wizard, but I’m fairly sure that bomb going off in your chest will hurt you pretty badly. Not even my Goddess could give me enough power to heal that, Gale, don’t think Cure Wounds would cut it.”
“Darling,”
“No.”
Though the temptation was great, she was resolutely not going to tell him. Tav had already decided that it was information that would wait until the dust had settled, their victory secured without an extra added complication. Spilling her closely guarded secret now as extra leverage to stop him from insisting on this ridiculous plan was awful. It was a low blow at best, and full out emotional manipulation at worst. She wouldn’t stoop so low.
“Tav, I love you –”
"You cannot say you love me in the same breath you say you intend to leave me!" She shrieked.
She could see Gale's heartbreak written plainly across his features and knew it reflected her own. Good , she thought viciously, a terrified animal lashing out. Let him hurt, if only to make him see why the idea of waking up tomorrow with him gone leaves me with a hollowness in my stomach that cannot be borne. The idea of carrying this weight alone…
She was not going to tell him. He would only fret that much harder and the poor man already wished to treat her as if she would break at a whisper's notice. She would have to threaten–lovingly–to break his hands off if he tried to coddle her too much in what was ultimately a battle for their lives. Hers was a declaration for happier times, gentler times.
"I can’t risk the alternative, decimation I could have prevented had I not been so selfish. Please , let my folly be worth –”
She was absolutely not planning on telling him.
The words, however, shot out all the same.
"I'm pregnant!"
Despite the surrounding squeal of burning intellect devourers and the roar of dragons, the world around them seemed to snap quiet.
All thoughts of urgency and their friends fighting battles beyond them were lost. As it is, she could hardly think at all past the thunder of her own pulse in her skull. Taking in Gale's struck expression, you would have thought she had hit him with chain lightning. Her tail twitches nervously. Hells, this is not how this was supposed to come out.
The blood-slicked stones beneath their feet rumbled and lurched with movement, reminding them of where they stood. Hardening her resolve.
Were they two different people, this would be a joyous moment. Were the world different for them, she could see herself surprising him with this news over a hot meal, giggling at the shock and dumbfounded expression on his face. He would gape and she would tease, before he would scoop her up in a swinging hug. Like the books where everything had a neat tying of loose ends and everyone ended up happy.
If only they were different people.
But they were not anything other than themselves, tied up in a conflict for good and evil that they never asked to participate in. Chaos reigned at their door and no happy ending was given without sweat and viscera.
"I-I'm certain, before you even ask. Had a right uncomfortable conversation about it with Halsin and everything. It wasn't your cooking leaving me ill, if that brings you any comfort now. I know your pride was damaged that I couldn't keep your breakfasts down. And, I don't want to hear anymore comments about you 'not being father material' or whatever, either. Just shove it because I also didn't plan this –" But I want it more than I want to breathe. "–and you truly must think me a fool, Gale Dekarios, if you think I'm going to let you just stroll up to that brain and leave –"
Her rambling gave out, the words crumbling in her throat and coming out in sharp, slicing pieces.
The wizard still stood there, face slack. Arms to his sides. Terror and...awe in his eyes. Tav would honestly be more offended by the terror if they hadn't been surrounded by gore and about to face the very real possibility of their own mortalities.
A step towards him jolted breath back into his lungs, brilliant mind coming back online, only to be silenced of thought once more when Tav grasped his hand and placed it firmly on her stomach.
It was still inconspicuous, too soon to show much. Just overheated, sweaty skin under her robes, innocuous. But the secret slumbering there was now apparent. A firmness, barely there at two months along in Halsin's estimation. Tav didn't have to estimate. She knew exactly. A gorgeous sunset and sparkling constellations shone behind her eyes whenever she thought of it.
Gale's hand shook over the slight curve of her, more concept than a person at this point.
"...and leave me alone in this," She finished weakly, the ice of fear replacing the hot anger in her blood.
Gale's forehead dropped to hers and they stood there for a span of too-quick heartbeats. She wished she could see his face more clearly from her angle, her horns an obstacle as always when he was tipped against her like this, nestled in that perfect little spot between the two keratinous growths. She wished she could read all of the thoughts in his mind and assuage every doubt that they could do this, they would survive this. They had to. She wished a lot of things, honestly.
When he spoke again, it was so hushed that the screams and din below nearly drowned him out.
"You have given me more than I will ever deserve, in any lifetime. I fear I say it too often in our short time together, that the sentiment might come to lose meaning in your eyes, however I," Gale cut himself short with a wet sounding hmm , struggling with his words and emotions both.
"However, I cannot help saying it every moment I can," Fingers of his free hand threaded in Tav's hair, parting silver locks crusted with flecked blood. His hand pressed to her abdomen remained, palm never leaving. The fingers curled and released. Tender, petting caresses. "I love you."
It sounded as if it took a vital part of him for the words to escape, scraped raw against his throat. Devotion and devastation both.
To Tav's frayed-end nerves, they soothed better than any blessing from her Goddess. It wasn’t jumping for joy like in the stories, but it was acceptance. The best she could expect in less than ideal circumstances. She felt her shoulders descending from their tensed position.
Thank Selûne, another ledge safely walked back from.
"I love you, too, that's how I know we can do this. Together." Her hands cupped Gale's face, tilting him slightly away from her so she could look at him with a shaky smile. Careful of her nails, she swept her fingers gently across the dark circles under his eyes, his gaze still so fraught. Her sweet wizard, how she couldn’t wait to get him the rest and peace he deserved after this journey of nightmares. On that balcony over the water that they would share now.
The adrenaline had begun to crash perhaps a tad too quickly. Tav had to shake herself, not letting her body succumb to the overwhelming want of curling up on the floor and just breathing until her limbs stopped feeling like lead.
"Now! That's settled. We have a brain to squish," She said, intending on gathering her party once more. Surely they would be teased to Avernus and back for having an uncomfortable couple’s spat in the middle of the battle of their lives. Astarion would never let her live it down that she nearly got weepy with Mind Flayer grey matter on her robes. How embarrassing.
Gale caught her before she went too far, deftly swinging her back into his orbit. Their mouths met harshly, momentum from the pull and passion meeting in equal measure.
He was always so gentle with her, to a fault. Their brief trysts had remained fairly tame since the first night outside Moonrise. Gale would insist on her comfort and grumble about her dignity when she dared to suggest they fuck in a barn mere feet away from their companions. He was a gentleman, giving and sweet. Perhaps a bit of a prude, too, but you wouldn't hear her saying that out loud. She found it unfairly charming.
Besides, Tav always prided herself on the times she could get him so wound up and drunk with lust that he forgot to be so gentle.
Their kiss at this moment was eons away from gentleness.
It consumed and claimed. Taking her mouth and wringing every drop of passion he could from their stolen moment, possible audience be damned.
Tav's heart thundered, a call going out to Gale's own, his chest pressed tightly to hers as if they could simply will the two organs into melding if they got close enough.
His tongue licked sinuously along hers, drawing a gasp that was more of an open mouthed release of breath. He kissed her like she was a feast in front of starving masses. Like his very soul rested below her breast and he was tasked at retrieving it.
He kissed her like a dying man.
"Gale –" Tav pulled away, apprehension once more bleeding in. She wanted to push his shoulders away, get distance, see the reasoning for why –
Purple flashed before her vision, leaving her unable to move.
The fear only increased hearing the shocked shouts of her friends. They had given the couple a wide berth in a gesture of privacy, and now that decision only gave time for the spell to set in.
Hold Person.
Modified, of course. Less damaging, with more care to not knock her into an uncomfortable position before it sent her muscles into rigor. The only thing she could move was her eyes, jolting frantically across Gale's face, betrayed. Another spell was already building in one hand, the glow illuminating his expression of gutted determination.
A man decided. Unknowingly, she’d practically gift wrapped the decision for him.
"I would never ask so much of you to ask you to forgive me, I know I am unforgivable," He took another step back towards the undulating brainstem, distancing them. "I only ask that you try to see why I'll fight to have you not step foot into this hopeless endeavor even more viciously, now. Your condition," The word condition choked out as if it pained him to even consider the thought.
Tav railed against the spell, the screaming inside her head so loud that surely it must be heard by every psychic creature on the Sword Coast. With a flick of his free hand, the approaching Astarion, Shadowheart, and Karlach all seized up into Holds as well.
In that moment, a glimpse of the awe-inspiring power held by the previous Archwizard of Waterdeep was apparent. Resolve and heartbreak was a terribly effective motivator, after all.
"Find Tara for me, will you? Or, rather, perhaps she will find you. She always was good at that, showing up exactly when needed most. Have her take you to my tower,"
The teleportation spell was already swelling around their party, however the zing of Weave surrounding her did not surprise Tav at all.
She screamed and cursed at him with silent, still lips, not wanting to hear this heinous speech when none of this was right, it shouldn't be happening . They were supposed to go there together .
"...Have her take you home. Everything there is yours, anyway. Much like my heart, everything I own has been yours for some time now." He smiled at her softy, eyes bleeding misery and love, brimming with wetness.
Tav wanted to rip at them with her claws. She wanted to break from the spell and strike him down for his audacity to do this. She wanted to hold him and never let him free from her arms again.
Before being completely enveloped by the spell's bright light, the tears rolled past those dark circles that she wished she could kiss softly one more time.
His voice echoed still, after all vision was lost to her.
"We need not say goodbye, my love. There are endless wonders out there, infinite possibilities. Perhaps fate will bring us back together, before the universe dims."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ ﾟ. ───
The next several hours passed in a blur of movement and blood.
They won, yes. Whatever their cursed victory cost, there was still an air of desperate celebration down every street.
Blazes were calmed. Civilians pulled from rubble. Remaining goblins and illithid swiftly dispatched with manic glee.
Selûne's blessed cleric pushed through it all, mutely. Healing injuries where she could, blocking out the guttural cries of the deceased’s loved ones when she couldn't.
It was pure instinct that kept Tav's body moving after their party had miraculously apparated on a hill outside of Rivington. Even once the Hold loosened, she still felt the heavy hang in the air of the teleportation spell dissipating. It tingled on her skin, like a caress. A distracting effect, she wondered if her companions felt it as well or if they were too distracted by their arguments around her. They scattered and yelled, confused and angry. She could relate. Tav didn’t attempt to participate in their discussion on what to do next, how to get back quickly.
She knew it was too late.
The tingle of Weave stayed for a span of minutes, surrounding, comforting. It did not last, however. She knew it wouldn't. Only until right before she felt the explosion light up the sky did the last of Gale's magic leave her properly.
An aurora of deep purples and greens had greeted her eyes when she looked up.
That was the last purposeful thought she had had for a long while.
After, battles truly finished and the remaining standing buildings full to the brim with toasting revelers, she found herself stepping into the Elfsong.
They returned to their rented rooms jostled and filled with settled dust.
Looking back, Tav might think it was the site of the worn tome beside her bed that did it. A well-loved book carelessly left there after a rare lie in for the two of them, maybe a week back. It took a while to convince Gale that it wouldn't be scandalous for the two of them to innocently share a bed in the same room as their friends. She just liked sleeping tucked up against his chest. More and more of his things had started to combine with hers, their lives comfortably melding as much as two people on the road could.
She thought she perhaps had a button to his spare sleeping trousers in her pocket at that very moment, in fact, waiting to be mended. How funny, the things grief brought to your mind when it came to call.
Arms caught Tav's shoulders before she hit the floor, the last of her body's strength finally succumbing.
The sound of cheers and relieved elation from the bar downstairs was the soundtrack to the worst day of her life. The poetic irony wasn't lost on her despite her lapse of control.
She spent the night sobbing against Karlach's shoulder, laid in bed with Astarion's cool hand against the back of her neck and Wyll's solemn vigil.
Her friends surrounded her like she was a grieving widow, falling to pieces. While processing their own losses, they still protected and empathized with hers. She almost felt bad to take this time of well deserved celebration from them, if she could get a hold of the swirling emotion threatening to rend her voice from her permanently, she would tell them to leave her be.
Of course she was heartbroken. Irreparably damaged. Weeping for the life that she would never have.
But more than that, the sobs that wracked her were wrought by fury. She was angry . The tears that streaked her face were fueled by ire and betrayal. Because how could he?
She wanted to be so fucking angry at him that she cursed his name, how dare he stand there and make a choice to be taken away from her. Especially after learning about their future growing inside of her. Had he no faith in her–in any of them–at all to believe they could not survive another way? Did he truly want to die and be reunited with his Goddess that badly?
The thoughts burned and lashed at her insides.
What’s worse, she was angry at herself for being rational enough still to understand exactly why he did it.
She should have known that telling him she was pregnant at that moment would only fuel his protective instincts. Of course he would choose to sacrifice himself to keep his love and their child out of harm's way.
The knowledge did not soften the blow.
The night stretched out and her tears dried, leaving dark trails down her scarlet cheeks that felt like they might burn into her skin that way forever. Around her, her friends spoke softly. They planned and worried for her. Unaware of the solidifying resolve growing in her stomach and curling up next to the precious passenger there.
Dawn would break, and she would be needed again. As a healer, as a leader, as a Hero of Baldur's Gate. Tav curled tighter, arms wrapped around her middle.
As a protector.
She carried the last piece left of Gale's legacy. She intended to protect it with her life, as he wanted.
And she also intended on razing the heavens themselves to get him back, as he would have expressively would not have wanted. Tav's eyes shut, finally succumbing to the beckoning darkness of rest.
Too bad she didn't give a good godsdamn about his opinion on that specific matter.
She would be doing both.