Chapter Text
"Oh, don't leave me here alone
Don't tell me that we've grown
For having loved a little while
Oh, I don't wanna be alone, I wanna find a home
And I wanna share it with you."
–Hello My Old Heart by The Oh Hellos
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ ﾟ. ───
Early morning sun broke through the solace of the master bedroom.
The bedroom’s window was crafted at the perfect angle to allow the rays to gently envelop the bed’s inhabitants, stirring them better than any charmed clock. Tav had no doubt it was by Gale’s own genius design; trust that man to plan down to the minutiae of every detail when it came to comfort and the finer pleasures.
The tiefling arched her back in a stretch, bones and joints popping satisfactorily. She groaned lowly at the sensation of lazy movement after a deep sleep – Gods, was this bed was lovely.
She’d never encountered such pure indulgence such as these sheets. Selûne never demanded abstinence from the little pleasures in life the way other deities might, but there was also never the gold laying around to have high thread count sheets for the training dorms of Tav’s home temple.
She sunk further back into the mattress and the feathery softness seemed to rise up to meet her, perfectly molding to her curves.
The day would be lovely, she could already tell even without opening her eyes just yet. A sharp salty scent from the breeze was filtering in from the balcony, the low buzz of activity just beyond at the docks would start up soon when the rest of Waterdeep emerged to enjoy the dawn. Personally, Tav would prefer to say sod the morning entirely and stay comfortable snuggled right where she was.
Fingers ghosted up her spine, following the ridges of her infernal-kissed skin.
Oh yes, she thought, definitely a day to lie in.
She was on her side, facing away from the other body, but Goddess, if she couldn’t identify him from touch alone.
The slide of his fingers on her was always so reverent, worshipful. It made her feel blasphemous at times. That she was something to be praised in his eyes brought her up short, but his devotion was intoxicating.
“I don’t believe the novelty will ever wear off, the gift of your radiance being the first thing I see in the mornings.”
Gale’s voice was low, sleep drenched and indulgent. It made her heart pick up its rhythm as it always did. She laughed, less for humor and more because the joy was leaping from her lungs at just getting to have this. This lazy intimacy.
“You say that now,” she said. “Just wait until we’ve been together years and years. One day I might snore terribly and you’ll be tired of my ugly morning face.”
Gale scoffed, playfully indignant.
“Are you questioning my affections? Surely you wouldn’t think so little of me. There is no amount of time that will rob me of my appreciation of you. And I’ll thank you not to call my beloved ‘ugly’ even in jest, if you would.”
Tav shifted, pressing her body back into him and Gale met her halfway, wrapping his arms around her. They were both unclothed under the blanket, miles and miles of skin meeting. She could feel his morning interest pressing against her lower back. It made longing pulse through her so strongly the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet tingled. That was another thing that felt intoxicating, that the fire of want never seemed to diminish, even when they had spent all the night before indulging.
“I notice you didn’t refute my snoring comment,” she teased, wiggling back into him, feeling him respond in kind, one of his hands dropping to grab her hip and teasingly brush his fingers at the crease where her thigh met.
He was silent for a beat.
“Well, I find honesty important for any strong relationship.” His lips were at the pinnacle of her ear, hot breath a teasing caress. “And you do snore already, my love.”
“You–!”
With a horridly endearing snicker, he caught her before Tav could swing around to hit him for his impudence.
“Mercy!” Gale laughed, “Mercy! I’m only teasing. Peace, before you dig those claws in, Madam Taverai.”
He used his hold on her and his body pressed to her back to withstand her attempted wriggling before Tav relented, huffing and settling back into their embrace.
“I hate it when you call me that. No one calls me that.”
“Would you prefer a new surname? It would be my absolute pleasure to assist…” Gale trailed off, leaving kisses along the line of her throat, being an absolutely unfair bastard and biting at the spots he knew made her see stars.
They joked this way–in a way that it wasn’t a joke at all to them. They’d certainly had the conversation about the future and how they planned to spend their small fraction of eternity together if fate allowed. The full marriage conversation had yet to be had, but it hung heavy between them all the same, exciting and new.
Here, in bed, on the precipice of a future where thousands and thousands of mornings such as this waited to greet her – Tav couldn’t for the life of her remember why they hadn’t just eloped already.
“Trying to make an honest woman of me?”
“Seems only fair,” he said, shifting, moving his hands around to her stomach to plaster his palms there, reverent. “You’ve already given me such a wonderful gift. A name is a paltry sum in comparison, but if you’d like it then it is yours.”
Gale hooked his chin over Tav’s shoulder, looking down to where his hands rested.
Where they rested over the pronounced swell of her abdomen.
Tav’s entire body went cold.
No.
No, it didn’t happen like this.
Gale continued speaking, unaware of her growing panic. “Do you think they will have your eyes? Oh, I do hope so. And, of course, I will support them on any path they’d wish, but…Well, a propensity for magic does run in my family.”
Tav just laid there, muscles locked, happiness from the morning crumbling like ash. It was all perfect–so fucking perfect. But it never happened like this.
The scene blurred out around the edges, her brain smoothing the transition as she hissed and raged internally, wishing she could grab ahold of the precious dream and keep it to herself.
Regardless, Tav woke.
Despite the late summer morning, she felt practically iced over between the plain cloth sheets of her rented bed. Breathing through these first few moments of the day were the best way she’d learned to get by when her dreams left her so shaken.
She stayed there, silent, taking slow and measured breaths. Adjusting to the severe contrast between dream and reality.
A healer had told her months before that vivid dreams may come as a side effect of her condition, to let them pass as they would. Harmless was the word he’d used.
They certainly did feel harmless in the light of day. More torturous, scrambling her senses more than a mind flayer parasite ever did.
It was a clever little bastard of a dream this time, dredging up a memory of a slow, syrupy morning they’d indulged in long ago. It was right as they’d come into the city, outside Rivington. Gale had expended much of himself and his illusionary talents to conjure them another night in Waterdeep. They’d talked for hours and made love until their bodies had nearly seemed to sink permanently into one another without the need for astral interference.
It was her grief sick mind that had twisted such a lovely memory and pulled in other details that weren’t there before.
Of course, her brain conjured up a Gale that was incandescently happy over their child. Nevermind that she didn’t actually know his feelings on things such as eye colors and familial traits.
There was a world where she would never truly get to experience his hands petting so gently at her stomach, feeling the bundle protected inside.
A vicious, dark voice inside her vowed that it would never be this world.
Thanks to a well placed kick from her stomach, brooding for this particular morning was cut short.
Tav smoothed a hand over her sleep tunic, feeling her rapidly growing belly.
“Good morning, love,” she murmured, her routine since she realized that the babe was probably getting along enough to have ears. Probably. She was a cleric, but not a healer extremely specialized in these things. Sue her.
It took more effort to roll herself up and out of bed than she particularly liked, but Tav got the momentum to swing herself up and away from the lingering memories of her dream.
Better to focus on her current goals than lay there and let the darkness have her. Namely, dressing for the day and completing her duties to earn her keep–all the while keeping her true mission close to her heart, locked away, ever searching.
Tav’s stomach gave a fearsome growl.
Right after finding some breakfast for herself and the little owlbear doing somersaults in her.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ ﾟ. ───
The House of the Moon was lovely.
Nestled in the Sea Ward between alleys teaming vendors and every shoppe imaginable. The domed fortress of the Selûne temple stretched up high enough to nearly brush against the moon Goddess herself.
Quite a far cry from the small village community Tav had grown up in, but similar enough to comfort the cleric through the route day-in and day-out duties.
Waterdeep itself had earned its nickname as the City of Splendors in every capacity. A metropolis of shining architecture adjacent to shimmering waters.
Leaving Baldur’s Gate had been a difficult choice. It felt like leaving a piece of herself, leaving a vision of a life that she would never get back if she proceeded with the plans that constantly recited over and over in her head, more piercing than any psionic attack.
When Tav had imagined stepping foot in this city before, it was with a bright smile and a gentle, guiding hand at her back. Instead, four months ago she had crossed the threshold of the town with a grim determination.
She had allowed herself the luxury of falling apart that night after saving the Gate. She’d wept and prayed and cursed when no answers came.
And then she’d picked herself up, and continued on regardless.
Despite final words that echoed in her ears, she did not go back to Gale’s tower.
“Everything there is yours, anyway. Much like my heart, everything I own has been yours for some time now.”
She couldn’t stomach it, living within a constant reminder of her failure. It felt like exploiting his memory and using him for what he could provide for her.
Even just the idea of letting her eyes linger too long on the skyline made her itch, afraid that one of the lovely spires reaching up to the stars was his home. Stuck in stasis, still waiting for his return.
Still, she couldn’t very well have her baby when the time came in a rented room at the Elfsong Tavern. And her plans would have brought her to the Crown of the North eventually.
So, Waterdeep it was.
She wasn’t a Hero of the Sword Coast here–simply another worshiper carrying out the will of Selûne by assisting the less fortunate. The dormitory had taken her in when Tav had shown up those months ago.
Her stomach had not been as pronounced then, but maybe they had still seen the hollowness in her eyes and took pity on her.
Or perhaps they were just grateful for another pair of hands. Despite being a home of solace and prayer, chaos had its chance to be found anywhere.
“Watch out!”
Tav barely slid to the side in time to miss colliding with a knee-high streak of color dodging out of the first floor kitchen doorway.
She grabbed at her middle on instinct, but there was no danger to be had, just a small human girl that raced at full tilt down the hall. Being a safe haven at the center of the city, they saw their fair share of orphans. If any one deserved to be given grace in their hard lives, it was those children. And, judging by the brief look Tav got, the girl had more than a few sweet rolls stuffed in her cheeks. Swiped from the pantries, no doubt.
A swiftly executed heist, then.
“Lady of Silver preserve us!” A voice inside tutted most indignantly. “That child will be knocking someone right over one of these days. Honestly…”
Tav laughed, moving over to the large wall of stove tops where great vats of sweet smelling porridge waited for the acolytes morning meal. It made her stomach rumble again viciously.
“Let her play. No harm done, Caedence. Besides, you were her age–what, ten or so years ago? Surely you remember the penchant for mischief..”
“Oh, hush you,” Caedence, one of the ladies in charge of the kitchens with whom Tav had instantly bonded, shook a spoon at the tiefling. “Your flattery won’t get you out of the dishes later. ‘Tis your day, no matter how right plump you’re looking.”
Deciding to ignore that comment, Tav started towards the water basins. Might as well get a head start. It wasn’t fighting a great red dragon outside a Githyanki Creche, but some duties just had to be done.
She was cut off by the spoon again before she could cross the room.
“Ah, ah! Later, I said. First you grab yourself a bowl and feed that young thing in ‘ya. There’s some fresh cream in the ice chest, and some extra sugar besides.”
“I don’t mind–”
“I wasn’t asking. Once you’ve got a good bite in hand, head down out to the garden.” Caedence nodded her head towards the window overlooking a small sitting area just outside. “You’ve got a guest this morning.”
Tav’s heart leapt into her throat.
A guest?
Very few people knew where she stayed. Shadowheart wasn’t due for another visit for at least a month. She would be coming around again to report her findings after Tav had asked her–
Unless something went wrong?
Anxiety rolled in her gut, the enticing scents of the kitchen turning sour, much like her mood.
She considered going straight outside to sate her curiosity, her worry, but the look the older woman shot over her shoulder had the tiefling dutifully making her breakfast first.
Sustenance secured and a ‘thank you!’ called out behind her, Tav dashed out much the same way the young girl had, to Caedence’s irritation.
She flew through the halls of the temple with all of the grace due to a woman two thirds through her pregnancy and carrying a precarious bowl of porridge.
She might have startled a young cleric in his prayers, busting through the doorway into the garden, but it hardly registered past the flurry in her mind.
If Shadowheart’s cover was compromised, it was going to be much more difficult to retain the element of surprise. The mission–Tav’s purpose –was dependent upon staying hidden from certain…divine eyes. It was the entire reason she had pleaded with her friend to take on the task of reconnaissance.
The immediate area was empty when the tiefling skidded onto the cobblestone. The hedged walls surrounded the perimeter and enclosed the space right up against the temple. It was a serene, peaceful spot intended for prayers and contemplation. Asiatic lilies bloomed around a singular stone bench, enveloping the space with dynamic colors. A pop of vibrancy in the middle of solemn reflection.
It was normally Tav’s favorite place to take her meals, beautiful and quiet. Despite the scenery remaining the same, it gave her no peace this morning as she twirled about, looking for a figure amongst the foliage–and finding none.
“Hello?” she called, already scaling up her worry to the next level, because surely Caedence would have seen Shadowheart leave, what if she had to escape in a hurry, what if–
“My, you are a sight. Is that what they do at these temples, work you up into such a tizzy?”
The voice was very much not Shadowheart’s, too regal and wisened. And coming from entirely too low of a statue.
Tav whipped herself around to be met with the judging stare of a very put out looking tressym.
Tav swallowed, suddenly a lot of saliva in her mouth accompanied with her heart in her throat.
It’s not that she had been avoiding Tara, per say.
It’s just that the non-detection spells she had been casting upon herself the last few months had the extra perk of possibly sidestepping certain uncomfortable interactions.
…Alright, so she had completely been avoiding Tara.
Gale’s words had echoed in her ears about the tressym finding her and Tav had been unable to stomach the imagined meeting. They’d barely gotten along when the wizard himself had been there as a buffer. Without him, when it was her fault he was gone? She couldn’t live with the anger to be seen in the eyes of Gale’s closest friend. Or the pity.
It was not lost on the tielfing that she’d managed to go against both of her love’s dying wishes. He was bound to be so cross with her. Thankfully, that was an issue to deal with when he was successfully corporeal once more to yell at her. And to withstand some yelling back, to be sure.
In this moment, facing the gaze of this magical creature that no doubt mourned as much as she did, Tav only felt like crying.
“You are certainly not an easy person to find, Ms. Taverai,” Tara said, sniffing in the way that signaled she was most displeased, feathers ruffled.
Tav winced, “Just Tav is fine, ple–”
“Though, after all that illithid business I certainly understand precaution. To an extent.”
“Tara–”
The tressym had jumped up onto the stone bench, pacing its length. She twitched her tail rapidly, short irritated movements.
“Mrs. Dekarios and I received the letter explaining everything, of course. Delivered by that rather large elf companion of yours. Quite a surprise, as it was not from you, of all people, being the person Mr. Dekarios cared for most–” Tara cut off, her already curt tone sharpening over the name, painful, exhibiting the still raw edges of that wound.
The accusation burned, but it was no less than Tav expected. It should have been her carrying the message of his passing to the people Gale loved most. They deserved to know directly from her what a hero he was to the continent, the world. But Halsin had offered and, in her cowardice, she had accepted. It was on the exceptionally long list of things she intended to make amends for once all was said and done.
Tav shuffled her feet. It would be just her just desserts should the people inside the temple overhear and be witness to her getting soundly shamed by a hissing tressym.
“I expect you must have an exceedingly important reason to have been so very busy as to not have the time to send even a letter, a sending spell even, to assure us…”
Tav’s hand not holding the trembling bowl, came up to rest over her stomach. It was a self soothing habit she’d acquired. Absent minded, instinctual…and completely at the inopportune time.
Tara’s eyes followed her movement, widening. She’d either overlooked the bump under Tav’s robes or was too set on her lecture to notice before, but now the snap of her realization was nearly audible.
Pacing halted, Tara dropped into a seated position on the stone bench and let out a stunned: “Ah. Yes, well, that is a very good reason.”
The breeze blew gently, rustling the flowers, carrying their pleasant scent past where the two bodies waited out the awkward moment. Tav felt her eyes beginning to well up, overcome. Damn fucking hormones.
The sight of the saltwater had the one perk of breaking the tension. Tara let out a sigh, heavy and sad. “Oh, my dear. None of that,” she beckoned with a paw. “Come sit.”
Thoroughly at her limit of emotional toil this early morning, Tav listened. She all but collapsed onto the bench beside the creature, breakfast cast aside and forgotten.
“I will make the assumption that the babe is of a certain wizardly lineage, yes?”
Tav let out a watery laugh. “Yes, of course.”
“I see.” The tressym’s tail swooped behind her, just barely tickling against Tav’s hip at its furthest swing. It felt like a tentative peace offering. “Well, tell me everything, I suppose. Sparing some details, of course. There are some things even one’s oldest and dearest friend should not hear.”
Tav was grateful for the levity; it made it easier to choke up the grim story of that moment below the Netherbrain and beyond. Tara was a silent presence at her side through it, wings tucked up close to her body, solemn and attentive. The tiefling’s tail was much in the same state, curled around one of her legs tightly.
“I know I should have sought you out after, at least to have the decency to tell you and his mother what happened myself, but I was–” ashamed, terrified, wholly fixated on how to fix things “–overwhelmed.”
An immaculately groomed paw settled on Tav’s leg, startling her from her spiral.
“Far be it from me to judge you, dear. It’s been…a hard time on all of us. I can’t even imagine,” Tara eyes were cast on Tav’s stomach. A deep sadness resonated through them both, not easy to carry in the slightest, but the burden shared between them in that moment was a comfort.
Tav did not know if tressyms could cry, but when the tawny feline pulled away and started fussing at her fur for a distraction, her eyes looked distinctly wet. “No. Indeed, it was best that you kept yourself on your own two feet however you could. Why it is that you chose a barebones temple over the warm comfort of a tower all to yourself, however, is beyond me. Mrs. Dekarios will be right beside herself with…all of this news. And we will get you the highest care imaginable, even if it means carting in a healer from Amn!”
“I…I don’t know if I’m ready for that, Tara.” Facing Gale’s mother, the formidable Morena Dekarios, knocked up with her dead son’s child. Moving into a place whose walls knew a version of her wizard that she’ll never know, one who was at peace before the chaos of orbs and nautiloids.
Tav prepared herself for demands of an explanation, for condemnation for this choice. But the serious gaze that met her when she lifted her head from its position of slumped despair was just one of understanding.
“You will tell me when you are ready, yes?”
The cleric’s breath shuddered out of her. She very much could see why Gale loved his friend so deeply. “Yes, I will.”
“That’s settled. Now! For the sake of this old heart, no more big surprises from this point on, if you please.” Tara chirped at her, hopping primly down to the cobblestone and striding towards the temple doors. “Let us see these lodgings of yours. It’s certainly no home for such a remarkable child as our little one will be, but if we must make do at present…”
Tav rose and followed dutifully, but her ears were full of a persistent, staticy buzz.
“No more surprises.” she mumbled, trying diligently to not think of the rucksack nestled beneath a plank of wood under her bed, held securely by an arcane lock.
A rucksack that was also firmly under a strong non-detection spell.
Where the salvaged pieces of Karsus’ crown radiated malicious Netherese energy.
Waiting.