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He was greeted by outstretched fingers and before he knew it he was being pulled upwards. Letting go of his grip on sticks and straws, he put his life into the other man’s hands. The only thing keeping him from falling to his death was a strong, calloused palm; securing him in midair—his back leaning towards the earth below.
Sapphire clashed with amber and before he could utter a word, his lifeline chuckled, “I was starting to think you forgot.”
Killua grimaced; a small bead of sweat sweeping across his brow as the wind picked up, “Shut up. I’m here, aren’t I?”
Gon smiled as he drank in the image of his longtime partner silhouetted by the setting sun. “How long has it been?”
“You haven’t been keeping track?”
“I don’t like to.”
Silver tresses danced on the breeze. “7 months.”
The adjacent man winced, “Too long.”
Before Killua could complain over the amount of time it was taking Gon to pull him up off the ledge, he was yanked forward—colliding with tanned skin as he fell into safety.
He took a deep breath as he glanced around them. They were in what appeared to be the empty nest of a large bird. Gon’s stories of giant fledglings and their mother feeding them whales as if they were worms must not have been an understatement.
“So this is it?”
“Yeah.”
Killua grinned. Gon had wanted him to see the top of the World Tree for years now. When he received a letter from the island-bred asking him to meet him there that summer, he decided to finally make the journey up. The tree was nothing short of impressive; the climb itself proving its grandeur. When they both turned to face the western sky, the colors of the evening dyed the atmosphere in vibrant hues that could philosophically cure the blind and nurture the ill back to health.
“You almost missed it. I wanted you to see the sunset from up here, there’s nothing else like it.”
Killua swung his feet over the edge of the nest, “It’s not like I haven’t seen it before. You’ve shown me tons of photos.”
“But it’s better in person.”
The silvery youth peeked over at him with an earnest expression, “Can’t argue with that.”
Their eyes met briefly, casting a beam across Gon’s face. Taking a seat next to Killua, his back muscles flexed beneath the seams of his sleeveless shirt. “Remind me again, why haven’t I seen you in 7 months?”
Killua raised his brow, “I vaguely remember you saying something about going on a mission of self-discovery? …Or some whimsical bullshit like that. Woke up one morning and you were gone.”
“And you didn’t come when I asked you to meet me in January?”
“Because I had things to do. I can’t just drop everything whenever you feel like seeing me.”
Gon scratched his nose, “You’re right, I guess I wasn’t thinking... Were you mad when I left?”
Killua’s fists remained lax in his lap, “I guess I owe you a good punch in the chin. Maybe later.”
“Alright, I’ll hold you to that.”
Killua sighed calmly, staring off at the orange and pink tint of the clouds dotting the horizon. There was a significant peace that fell over him when he and Gon were together. He had learned to savor this feeling over the years—it wasn’t common for them to be in the same place for very long. One solo mission led to another. They used to spend their days side by side, but before either of them knew it they were spending months apart. It was something that bothered Killua, although he didn’t outwardly admit it. To ease his own quells, he came to the conclusion that it was a natural part of growing up. The older he and Gon became, the more independence they acquired. This was why on the rare occasions they reunited, he tried his best not to hold any grudges and make the most of it: To memorize the sensations; the tastes, the miens, the touches.
“So did you find yourself yet?”
Gon returned his gaze to the sky, “I think so. But there’s still something I need to do before I really figure myself out.”
The adjacent Hunter made a short snicker, “I take it you have another mission planned?”
“Something like that.” Gon remained still as the breeze picked up some loose stands of dark hair falling from his usual upright tuft. “The next journey I take will be the most important. I think I’ll finally get things right.”
“Oh yeah?” Killua leaned back, letting his hands support him at his sides.
Gon made an affirmative sound.
They sat quietly for several minutes, admiring the last bit of light touching the vista.
“Mind if I ask what this groundbreaking new mission is?” Killua tried not to seem too curious.
When the sun finally dipped behind the curve of the earth, Gon turned to his best friend with a satisfied hue in his eyes. Killua had to do a double-take; it wasn’t an expression he was used to seeing on Gon Freecss.
“Are you hungry?”
~~~
Killua was hungry.
As the first few stars stepped out from dusk’s veil, the two longtime partners built a fire in a make-shift pit and shared a meal of dried fruits and two trout filets Gon had caught before his climb up the tree the day prior. He had thought ahead; providing a quilt for them to rest on. Killua was impressed with how thorough he’d been. Ordinarily, they spent their nights away from civilization with little to no creature-comforts. Killua had grown accustomed to Gon’s rustic habits; content with dirt as their bed beneath a ceiling of cosmos. Admittedly, having an actual meal and a warm blanket was nice for a change.
“You think those birds will be mad if we spend the night in their nest?” Killua’s mouth was full.
Gon chuckled, “I think they’ve migrated. I took a look around earlier and there weren’t any recent signs of residents.”
“I hope you’re right. Doesn’t seem like an animal I’d want to piss off.”
“We’ll be fine. Besides, I’m sure they’d appreciate that we’re keeping the place up for them.”
“Kind of like tenants.”
“Or house-sitters.”
“Nest-sitters.”
The two laughed, despite their dull comedic efforts.
Gon glanced at him, “Hey, you’ve got a little something…” He reached over to wipe a speck of food from the other’s cheek.
Killua rejected Gon’s hand before trying to wipe the food away himself, “There. Is it gone?”
“No. Here, let me.” Gon crawled over, grabbing both of Killua’s wrists.
“Oi, stop it.”
“I’m getting it for you.”
“It’s probably gone now!”
Gon laughed as he weighed himself on top of him. Killua blinked in annoyance, “Get off, you’re heavy.”
“Wait.” Gon placed both of his hands on either side of Killua’s face, staring down at him with an honest grin, “Yeah, okay. It’s gone.”
The Zoldyck finally found his strength and shoved Gon off, “Nice try.”
“Nice try at what?”
Killua raised his brow, “At what?”
Like a child, Gon stuck his tongue out before sitting up straight again. “I missed you.”
“Really?”
“I always do.”
The air around them felt cooler as the wind picked up, threatening the small flame of their campfire before it flickered back to full strength again. Killua watched it intently, “There’s a simple solution to that, you know.”
Gon’s shoulders lowered.
The ex-assassin glanced back at his comrade, studying the way the light caught his eyes. “How was your 20th birthday, by the way? I forgot to ask.”
Gon always envied the way Killua could change the subject so effortlessly. “It was great. I did a tour through the largest rainforest in Kukanyu.”
“Sounds fun.”
“I wish I’d had a camera with me. The countryside was greener than I’ve ever seen before. There were a lot of weird plants and animals. Too many species to count. I did a lot of thinking while I was out there.”
Killua nodded, “Yeah? What did you think about?”
“Everything. I thought about Ging and wondered if he had ever been down the same trails I was walking. I worried about Mito-san and hoped she and Abe were doing alright back home. Sometimes I wished I could call up Leorio and ask for advice on which herbs could be used to cure stomachaches when I accidentally ate the wrong thing. I thought about how much has happened since I became a Hunter: How many people I’ve met and how many more I’ll meet in the future. I stopped counting the number of times I thought about a home-cooked meal.” Gon paused to laugh at himself. He eyed a pair of embers that had strayed away from the fire, pirouetting into the dark sky. “But mostly, I thought about you.”
Killua raised his eyes as the focus of Gon’s words was brought to him.
“I thought about my life and how you’ve become such a natural part of it. It’s difficult to imagine how things would be without you. I don’t know how I’ve been able to go on all these missions alone. I don’t really like it. I never wanted to travel by myself, it just sort of happened.”
“You mean getting up and leaving while I was asleep just sort of happened?”
Gon frowned, “I knew you wouldn’t be happy about that…but I couldn’t face you and say goodbye again. It was hard enough all the other times I had to do it.”
The silvery Hunter’s brow furrowed, “But you didn’t have to say goodbye. You could’ve just asked me to go with you. I would have said yes.”
Gon gazed at him with golden irises, “I know you would have. But that’s the thing; it’s not fair to ask you to come with me every time I get an itch to travel.”
“But isn’t that how this is supposed to work? Making sacrifices for each other?”
“How what’s supposed to work?”
Killua stared blankly at him before motioning between them, “Us. Whatever we are. Partners, friends…”
“Lovers?” Gon chimed in.
The Zoldyck pursed his lips, “Yeah.” Despite being together romantically for several years now, it was still difficult for him to stomach the idealized term for two people in a relationship.
“Killua, there will always be an open invitation for you to travel with me. But I don’t want to directly ask you to go with me anymore. I know you’ll say yes, regardless if it’s what you really want or not. You shouldn’t have to make sacrifices for anyone, especially me. I’d rather you decide on your own, when it’s something you want to do.” Gon lifted his head to look towards his comrade. “I act on my own whims. I always have. And I know you understand and accept that, but I don’t want my decisions to interfere with your life.”
Killua sighed, glancing up at the stars, “Sorry, but I don’t really get what you’re saying.”
“I guess what I’m saying is…—I want you to make your own decisions from now on. I don’t want to ask you to go traveling with me because in the past all I ever had to do was ask and you’d say yes. I took advantage of that and I made a vow that I’d never let my choices affect your life again. I’d rather have you approach me and say I’m going with you. But every time I told you I was leaving, you never said anything to me. I just assumed you didn’t want to go.”
When the raven-haired Hunter blinked, he was met with staggered blue eyes. “Gon, I was letting you do what you wanted. When you didn’t ask me to go with you, I thought you wanted to travel alone without me. It was a little disappointing, but I dealt with it.”
It took Gon a minute before the words sank in, “Wait. You’re saying that—?”
“You actually thought that I wanted to stay behind and wait for you?”
The island-bred lowered his head, “Well, like I said, I wanted you to make the decision for yourself. I figured you must have something else better to do than follow me around. I didn’t want you to come with me out of obligation.”
Killua let out an exasperated sigh, “Obligation? Being with you isn’t an obligation. I wouldn’t be sitting here right now if I didn’t want to.”
Gon cursed into the wind, “So all this time…? I can’t believe what an idiot I am.”
“I can.” Killua sneered.
“Geez.” The adjacent Hunter scratched at his head, “Why didn’t you say something?”
“I was doing the same thing you were: Being considerate of your needs.”
Gon made a few incomprehensible grumbles before speaking, “Then Killua, can I ask—? What do you want?”
For some reason, the question seemed arbitrary. The ex-assassin was sure that he wanted a lot of things, although he’d never put much thought into it before.
Gon picked up a rogue stick and stoked the fire, “You spent the first half of your life doing what your family wanted you to do. When you finally got away from them, you followed me and did what I wanted to do. And then when we went our separate ways, you took care of Alluka and Nanika and did what they wanted to do. Now that you’re on your own, what is it that you want?”
Killua sat still, digging through his mind. He could argue with Gon all night about how foolish it was of him, taking off on adventures and claiming not to ask for any company out of courtesy. But then again, Gon assumed things on his own terms and traveled because that’s what he desired. Maybe there was some logic in reserving some right to be selfish. Gon of all people understood that philosophy. Perhaps it was time for Killua to do the same?
“I don’t know.” The blue-eyed youth stared intently into the fire. “I guess I’ve always…” There was a long string of silence as he gathered his considerations.
Gon leaned in eagerly, “You’ve always…?”
A leg stretched out to kick him lightly, “I’ve always wanted to swim in the southern ocean. It’s supposed to be as warm as bath water.”
Gon’s eyes lit up, “Really?”
The Zoldyck rubbed his nose, feeling embarrassed as he continued, “And the active volcanoes that make up the islands off the coast of Ochima. I want to hike up and see what they look like on the inside. I want to go back to Greed Island and win at the slots in Dorias. And I want to spit off the tallest building in the world and see if it lands on someone.” Killua smiled when he gained a laugh from his companion. “There are a lot of things I want. More things than I can list off the top of my head. But there’s a condition...”
“A condition?” Gon tilted his head.
Killua felt his face warm up and he couldn’t tell whether it was the heat from the campfire or if he was anxious, “It’s dumb.”
“Come on, you have to tell me. You can’t just mention something and then not say it.”
Killua turned his cheek, “Maybe it’s a little unrealistic…but I don’t think I’d have very much fun doing all those things unless you were there doing them with me.”
Gon lifted his chin, “You mean… you want to do all of that stuff together?”
The Zoldyck suddenly realized how outward he had been and stammered for recovery, “S-so what? You asked me what I wanted, didn’t you? I’m just being honest.”
Gon stared with a dumbfounded look on his face, “It’s funny… We could have been traveling together this whole time.”
Killua huffed, “Gon Freecss, you say that now, but you’re more like Ging than you realize. You function well on your own. I’ll bet the next journey you take will be a solo one. That’s how it works with you. Besides, you’re still searching for yourself, aren’t you? You can’t really do that with me tagging along.”
Gon felt his stomach flip at the mention of his ensuing journey. There was a mixture of excitement and regret building in him. He realized now that Killua wanted the same things that he did; it had just taken both of them different durations of time to figure that out— Time alone with thoughts purely of each other to understand the intense feeling of isolation they experienced when they were apart. With this in mind, Gon inched a little closer to his best friend. The fire was burning low, allowing the starlight to silhouette messy locks and shadow dark lashes. “Killua?”
“Hm?”
Both young men leaned in cautiously until their shoulders touched.
“What would you say if I told you I feel the same?”
“The same about what?”
“I want to be with you and see the world together. Remember when we used to talk about it years ago?”
Killua rolled his shoulder to slide inwards towards Gon’s chest, bumping their foreheads together with a soft thud, “But we’re not kids anymore, Gon. Aren’t you trying to figure your life out right now?”
Gon could feel Killua’s words dance across his skin. “I think I may have already figured it out.”
Their lips were brushing now. “Oh? You said that your next journey is going to be the most important. Are you going to tell me what you’re planning?”
Gon was the one to smile now as he reached up to rub the back of his comrade’s neck; playing with the hair there between his fingers. He pulled Killua towards him until their mouths finally pressed together in a short kiss.
“Gon?”
The dark-haired Hunter leaned back, speaking quietly to match the night air, “I want to ask you something.”
Killua leaned forward after him to kiss his tanned lips once more; non-threatening and quiet. He led their mouths together again and again—a third time and a fourth time, before exhaling, “Spit it out then.”
Gon’s chest rumbled in a laugh, “I will, it’s just—you’re…”
Smirking, Killua spread his lips wider, running his tongue along the outside of his partner’s mouth, silencing him. Gon opened wide, allowing their hot breaths to mingle for the first time in months. Despite how difficult it was being apart for so long, the payoff was their physical reunions. The lack of intimacy for so long created a hunger for each other that they never quite recognized until they were already tongue-tied and tangled.
Sighing, Gon reached between them to cup Killua’s face—padding his angled jawline softly as their kiss deepened; quarrying for something in each other that had been buried over separated distances. When they came up for air with light gasps, the ex-assassin curled his arms around the other’s shoulders, bringing him closer, “I’m still waiting.”
With glazed pools, Gon steered Killua backwards until his shoulder blades met the spread quilt beneath them. Hovering above, he traced the way Killua’s hair fell into his face and curled across the fabric. The sky was turning overhead and he swore he could see galaxies in his best friend’s eyes. Leaning down, he fought back a breath of awe, “Soon. I’ll ask you soon.”
The silver-tress Hunter nodded indolently before guiding Gon towards him. Chests pressed together as their lips reconvened; tongues meeting and tasting before a peck broke them off.
Gon made sure to keep hold of his partner’s chin as he drove his free hand downwards—across Killua’s stomach, to the inside of his thigh and back to his baying hipbone, protruding from his clothing.
“It’s been awhile.”
Gon chuckled, “Like I said earlier, too long.” They grinned at each other before Gon’s voice resurfaced, “Is this okay?” His thumb had stretched to notice the obvious swell pressing against the other’s crotch.
“Yeah.” Killua’s hips rolled towards Gon’s open hand.
“We can wait if you want.”
The ex-assassin lazily blinked up at him, “I waited for 7 months. Hell with waiting another second.” He took his turn in reaching below; full-handedly grabbing between his partner’s legs.
Gon’s breath hitched.
“Do you want to wait?” Killua’s grip wasn’t painful, but strong enough to get his point across as he palmed the pulsing flesh there, concealed by cloth.
The gilded-eyed Hunter let out a short groan before tilting the chin he’d been holding between his thumb and index finger and engulfed the porcelain lips there, lapping up damp warmth in desperation. “No.” He managed to speak as he gripped both of his hands now around agile hips and yanked them towards his own. “I want you right now.”
Gon’s sudden change in demeanor and force sent a wave of excitement through Killua. His eyes were now clouded with fervor and as the last of their small campfire extinguished, their fraught ache for each other caught blaze.
Their tongues met again as they labored in a new strain. Killua grinded his waist against Gon’s as he clamored at his sleeveless shirt, pulling it off to expose sun-kissed skin to the chilled air. Gon swiftly did the same, nearly ripping Killua’s long-sleeve before it lay in a heap at their side. Vulnerable now to the occasional lashing wind, Gon gripped at the other’s skin—traveling his calloused hands up and down the curvature of Killua’s back, creating friction.
The Zoldyck made a soft whimper when Gon’s warm touches were accented by wet kisses to his neck. He passed his fingers through dark hair as Gon bit lightly at the area right above his left collarbone. It was a cheap move, really. The island-bred already knew full well that this particular spot was sensitive. Killua whirred into the love bite, shivering when Gon continued to trail his lips across the map of his flesh, insisting gentle pecks down Killua’s abdomen to arrive at the swelling mass between his legs.
The ex-assassin glanced down, feeling his face flush red. Gon placed a kiss atop his crotch before removing the pants and eyeing the thin material of undergarments left in his way. He caught his partner’s ocean blues, dilating when the boxer-briefs were pulled off.
“You’re doing all the work.” Killua’s voice was calm, although his cheeks were noticeably stained red.
Gon smiled at him as he grasped his perked member, “I want to make you feel good. Is that alright?” Despite whether he was teasing him or not, he ran his tongue from the base of his erection up the shaft, causing Killua to bend his neck in a sharp sigh.
“Are you asking me if that’s what I want?” He gouged at their earlier conversation.
Gon’s response was to part his lips around the tip of his flushed member—wearing an evident smirk.
“BE—cause I want it, I really do.” Killua’s voice carried on the air when he felt Gon’s hot breath. He clutched tightly at the quilt beneath them as Gon took him in fully, the sensation of which threatened to tip Killua over the edge far too soon. Quivering, he reached for Gon’s hair and guided his head as he bobbed up and down devotedly. Although he’d attempted to stay quiet, a low groan escaped Killua’s throat, encouraging Gon to continue; wasting no time in reaching to caress his soft testis below. Killua trembled at the cold touch, gaining a devilish grin from the other. “Jerk,” Killua let out a chuckle, which blended well with another gasp when his orally-skilled companion brought him to the back of his throat once more.
Gon looked up; enjoying the view of pale cheeks reddening in the dim light. The overwhelming scene sent a pang of desire through him, and while he preferred to revel in the sight a while longer, he felt his partner’s hand yank him backwards.
“Wait.” The Zoldyck panted, “I don’t want to—I’ll be done too soon.”
“That’s okay.”
“No, let’s—…Come here.” Killua grabbed Gon’s arm and pulled him forward until he was straddling him again.
“I don’t mind.” Gon brushed some bangs out of Killua’s eyes.
“I know, but I want us both—together, you know?” He reached down to unbutton Gon’s pants.
“Alright.” The tanned youth grinned, leaning down to steal polished lips once more. He wasn’t about to argue.
Killua could taste himself on the other’s tongue. Their mouths operated as Gon’s residual clothes were removed. The ex-assassin pondered aloud, “I wonder if we’re the first ones to do this up here?”
“Maybe.” Gon laughed as he lowered himself down until their bodies were compelled together. “Are you warm enough?”
“Tch, don’t treat me like a kid.” Killua brushed his thumb across Gon’s face before pinching his cheek.
“Ouch.” Gon turned towards Killua’s hand and bit at his fingers. “You looked cold, I was just checking on you.”
Their lips met again as their groins rolled with each other; erections a noticeably higher temperature than the rest of their body’s. Killua settled into their rhythmic motion before batting his eyes, “I’m always warm when I’m with you.”
Despite the obvious sarcasm, Gon breathed a smile, “Is that so?”
“Yeah...” Killua lightly whimpered when Gon reached between them to run his fingers across both their lengths; touching perceptibly. The slick remainder of Gon’s saliva along the other’s shaft served as temporary lubricant as he gathered them both in his fist and rubbed firmly. He sighed in relief; tending to his throbbing arousal at last.
Killua’s mouth fell agape at the new contact.
“Hold on.” Gon paused mid-stroke to reach for his nearby bag.
Killua sighed, impatiently waiting as his partner struggled to dig through his belongings until he pulled out a small bottle. With a sheepish look on his face, he held it between them, “I brought this along just in case.”
Killua couldn’t help but entertain Gon’s modest behavior with a glare, “Oh, do you always travel with lube just in case?”
The other blinked, “I bought it last week for us. Why would I have a need for lubricant unless I was planning on seeing you?”
“Hmm? So when we make plans to meet up after being apart for months, you automatically prepare for all the sex we’ll be having? Is that what’s important to you?”
“Killuuuaaa, you know that’s not what I meant. All I care about is spending time with you! We don’t have to do any of this if you don’t want—”
Killua slapped his hand over Gon’s lips, grinning from ear to ear. “I’m kidding.”
Gon licked the inside of Killua’s palm for revenge, gaining his mouth’s freedom, “Why are you teasing me at a time like this?”
The pastel youth chuckled, “I saw the opportunity and I took it.”
“You’re mean.” Gon kissed his cheek, flipping the cap off the lube bottle.
“I’m only mean to you.”
“Should I feel honored then?”
Killua smirked, “Uh huh.”
Their lips touched as Gon poured a glob of cool liquid into his hand and applied it to their groins. The effect was instant; adding a smoother glide to his strokes.
The ex-assassin droned. He felt his heart pulsate when a warm set of lips met the skin of his collarbone again—Gon’s free hand grazing across his bare chest before pinning him down to gain better leverage on the handwork between them. With each strong impel, a louder sigh was gained until Killua’s rewarding moans carried on the breeze.
The sloppy sounds that filled the air were obnoxious, but neither of them paid any mind. Gon was lost in his companion’s mien; raw in a flawless sort of way—sapphire orbs lidded, lips gaped; breathing rapidly.
When pre-come fled onto his stomach, Killua lifted an arm to grasp tanned skin. “Gon?”
“Mm?”
Burying his face into the crick of the other’s neck, he continued, “Since we have the lube, you—ah—Can we—maybe try something?”
Gon slowed his fist, sweat beginning to gleam on his forehead, “Like what?”
The Zoldyck pressed further into him, “Could we—Could you…try, um…putting it in?”
Gon paused. They had only tried anal once before and it hadn’t quite worked out the way they’d wanted. Despite their best efforts, it wasn’t an easy task to perform without some sort of lubricant, which they had lacked at the time. Now that a full bottle lay beside them, it was an entirely possible feat to attempt—although the thought of it made Gon nervous. “You want to?”
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot... We’ve been together for a long time.”
“I know, but when we tried before—”
“We’re older than we were before. We know what we’re doing now. So…”
The island-bred bit at his own lip, occasionally catching a glimpse of Killua’s breath on the cold air, “You’re sure?”
Swallowing back a wad of tension, Killua reached for the lubricant and put it in Gon’s hand. The blue in his eyes spun in luminous shades—urging the request onward, “I really want to.”
Gon finally complied, repeating his earlier action and draining a pool of messy fluid into his palm. He kept his focus on the young man beneath him as he reached down, this time bypassing their gorged erections and further delving below until he felt the pads of his fingers meet tight skin.
Killua arched his back; letting a quick exhale escape his nose. He gripped at Gon’s upper back when he felt strong fingers probe and caress the delicate area. Although the same rough hands had touched him there previous times, he couldn’t help but critique Gon’s rusty foreplay skills. He let out a whine to address his eager digits.
“A-are you alright?”
“Mm, not so fast.”
Gon took a deep breath, leaning in towards Killua’s wild tresses and planting a kiss there as he slacked his fingers. It wasn’t long before his improvement was acknowledged with low moans. He pecked at moonlit skin as he worked his other hand back to Killua’s derelict member; zealous for further stimulation. A pleasured sigh met Gon’s ears as he began to rub up and down the swollen shaft while simultaneously urging at the taut opening below—gradually loosening the muscle to fit one finger. He waited, slowing his strokes until Killua caught his breath and brought his other arm around him. “Keep going,” He reassured and soon Gon’s lone digit was joined by another.
“M-more lube?” The raven-haired Hunter stumbled over his words. The other nodded and more fluid was worked in. Curving his fingers at his joints, Gon brushed against a bulb of inner tissue, causing Killua’s breath to snag. Feeling more confident, he began massaging the spot rhythmically, receiving further noises of inclination and surprise.
“How—did you—?”
“You’re not the only one who’s been thinking about this a lot.” Gon’s voice was low as he continued to scour generously at the elusive prostate. “How does it feel?”
“Good.” Killua managed through a satisfied hum, rolling his hips fervently for added incentive.
Gon could feel his heart racing as the Zoldyck dug his nails into his back; panting melodically. When a third finger was added, his own waist began moving with Killua’s drives, yearning for contact. Killua took notice and reached for him—inching along his warm length before gathering it firmly and caressing along a familiar vein.
Their mouths collided in a hungry kiss; tongues tussling between hard teeth.
“Gon?” Killua’s voice was a tremble between kisses, “Gon, I want more. I need—aah—you. In me now.”
Gon flushed at his partner’s words, although he could surely listen to that particular phrase on repeat several more times. He made a comprehensive sound before reuniting with Killua’s mouth; a mild distraction as he pulled his digits away from the relaxed muscle and positioned himself at his entrance.
Killua stared up at his best friend with a combination of credulous lust and apprehension.
“You sure you’re ready? We can mess around a little more…? I want it to feel good for you.” Gon looked concerned.
“I don’t think it’s supposed to feel amazing the first time, anyway. Don’t worry about it.”
“But I don’t want it to be painful either... You think we’re doing it too soon?”
Killua’s eyes darted down and then back up, “It’ll be fine. I’ll be okay.”
“Really? You can just say the word and I’ll—”
“Gon, please. I want to do this…I have to do this.”
The raven-haired youth placed both his hands over the other’s knees, “Okay, okay… But just so we’re clear, you don’t have to do this. There’s no rush.”
“There isn’t, but…” the ex-assassin searched the starry heavens swirling above Gon’s head, “There’s—there’s that possibility that you’ll take off again and we might not get another chance for a long time. This next mission of yours…you could be gone for months, maybe longer. And I—”
“—Killua.” Gon pursed his lips as he inched his way into his partner slowly, “I said I wanted to be with you, didn’t I?”
A sweet gasp blossomed from Killua’s throat as Gon pushed in, “I know you said that, but—who’s to say you won’t leave again? I mean, all things considered.”
Gon continued to move forward, taking in the heat surrounding him. He leaned down; grabbing Killua’s wrists, woven with faint purple veins; running his hands across the soft skin there before moving up to lace through angular fingers. The Zoldyck’s blue eyes were watering now as Gon’s girth stretched him.
He breathed against Killua’s ear, “Do you trust me?”
The adjacent Hunter swallowed back the pressure taking over his senses before nodding.
Gon smiled, “I’m not going anywhere without you again. As long as you’re willing, as long as you’re okay with it, we’re staying together.”
The Zoldyck inhaled and exhaled; familiarizing himself with the foreign sensations building in him. The penetration was painful in a compressed sort of way, but not as bad as he’d anticipated. Their earlier foreplay aided in that. He soon came to realize that he and Gon were connected physically for the first time. As trite as it was, the concept sent chills across his skin.
“I always want to be with you like this.” Gon hummed into his neck, osculating his pastel flesh. “Killua…” He rocked into him gently, gaining a whir.
The silver-tress youth turned his head to catch Gon’s mouth with his own, squeezing their hands together.
The pangs to move were getting tougher for Gon to handle. Killua unveiled a wince, causing the other’s brow to furrow in alarm, “You okay?”
Their noses bumped into each other before Killua closed his eyes—reopening them seconds later with a calm expression, “Yeah…I’m good.”
Gon let out a breath, “Are you sure?”
“You worry too much. I know you want to fuck me, so get on with it.” The Zoldyck smirked.
“H-Hey. That’s not—”
Before another word could slip out of Gon’s mouth, Killua revolved his waist. Gon hummed, pulling their hands apart as he sat up, moving out and back in again with an off-kilter thrust.
The first few impacts were bearable, although Killua made it a point to focus on anything and everything besides the alien feeling inside him. Gon noted the displeasure on his companion’s face and repositioned himself several times to get a better angle at the prostate. After an undistinguishable number of tries, Killua’s body jolted at the sudden stimulation. Proud of his efforts, Gon continued to aim for that spot, drawing in and out in a steadfast motion.
Killua squirmed beneath him, clutching at the quilt in desperation. The feeling was incredibly confusing. He was uncomfortable, but in a bizarre, almost pleasurable sort of way. Frustration built along with his arousal, dribbling clear fluid down his abdomen.
“Gon. It’s weird—it’s…”
The other’s eyes were locked on him in determination, “Killua. Killua…You feel so good. Ah…I can’t—control myself. Is this—I mean, are you—okay?”
Hearing Gon’s broken sentences sent flutters through Killua’s stomach. Despite the discomfort, despite the gracelessness, he loved that Gon’s attention was solely on him. “—I’m okay. Do it h-harder—Don’t hold back.”
“I don’t want—to hurt you.”
“You won’t…Gon, you won’t. Harder, I want you to do it harder.”
The longer their intimacy drew out, the better Gon’s thrusts began to feel; rapid and out of synch as they were. Killua was crying out now—the taste of sweat on his lips, “Don’t stop. Don’t stop!”
In his blind haze, Gon reached for Killua’s neglected erection, pumping at it in steady jerks in rhythm to his own drives. “…I won’t, I can’t—Killua…!” Though time seemed to drag on, Gon was sure that it hadn’t taken him long before he felt his climax building. He leaned down to steal his partner’s mouth one last time before a shout leaked from his throat and his hips lurched in strong gestations, “C-can I…? Inside?”
Killua’s body felt limp compared to the other’s resilient motions. He gazed upward, tracing Gon’s image—the perspiration rolling down his neck and the gleam of his damp chest. “Fuck, Gon. Yeah—inside. Finish inside…!”
“Y-you sure? You haven’t—”
The ex-assassin yanked him down, baring his teeth. The tips of Gon’s ears flushed red as Killua hissed, “I want you to come in me as hard as you can.”
A strange exhilaration burned inside Gon as he gripped tightly at Killua’s shoulders, slamming into him five more times before at last reaching orgasm. A broken cry splintered from Gon’s vocals; panting wildly as he leaned against pastel skin.
The warmth of Gon’s climax inside him combined with persistent strokes at his own member quickly tipped Killua over the edge too; holding his breath as he came in hot spurts that settled across both their stomachs.
Nirvana lingered briefly—both young men holding onto their fading orgasms before all that remained was the pressed feeling of salty skin.
Gon gently pulled himself out of Killua, laying his weight atop him shortly after.
The Zoldyck raised his head until their brows bumped together. He could feel their hearts pounding violently.
Gon smiled, “Killua…amazing. That was amazing. We should do that more often.”
The other half-nodded, trying to catch his breath, “Agreed…”
“You’re sure I didn’t hurt you?”
Despite the sentimental atmosphere, Killua coughed out a laugh, “Don’t flatter yourself. I can handle you.”
“I’m just making sure you’re okay.”
“Would you quit doting on me?” Their eyes met and focused on each other before Killua blinked away, “And stop staring.”
“I can’t...I missed seeing your face.”
Killua rolled his eyes, attempting to escape. Gon kept him pinned to the ground.
“Would you let me clean up at least?”
“You’re fine like this.”
“Fine? Covered in…?”
“Us?”
Killua scowled, reaching between them to run his fingernails lightly across Gon’s rib cage, causing the raven-haired Hunter to loosen up enough for him to push up onto his hands.
Gon swiftly managed to grab Killua’s arms and push him backwards again; reuniting his shoulder blades with the quilt below.
The ex-assassin blinked in surprise at the sudden force Gon used. He was on the verge of voicing a complaint when he noticed the seriousness in his companion’s eyes, catching him off guard. He flushed when a bronzed hand combed through his hair, “I still need to ask you something…”
Killua lay quiet and still. He had almost forgotten the unsought question Gon had mentioned prior. He studied the way the remaining glint of sweat on his brow shined against the illuminate night; lost in the perplexing gold of his eyes until something small and polished appeared in Gon’s hand. “Killua… Can I say some embarrassing things?”
“When have you ever needed my permission?” The Zoldyck’s eyes were wide. Although confusion etched across his face, he could take a solid guess at what Gon was about to say. The ring held between them spoke a million words.
“When I was traveling alone, I started thinking that maybe I really am better off leading a solitary life. Like you said, I work well when I’m on my own. I can make my own decisions and go where I want to go. I don’t have to worry about bothering anyone. That kind of life suits me. But…would it make me happy? The more I thought about it—the more I tried to envision a life by myself—the more I thought about you. And I realized how much I need you… How much I want you by my side, on my next journey and all the rest.” The hushed night blanketed them as Gon reached for his companion’s hand and placed the small ring in his palm. Closing pale fingers around it, he pushed it towards Killua’s chest. “I know I’m an idiot sometimes. I’ve made mistakes that I’m not proud of… and I’ve been trying really hard to become a better person; to be more patient and less selfish. But there’s one thing that I’ll never be able to change… I selfishly want you for myself. It has to be you, Killua.”
The Zoldyck squeezed his hand around the silver ring Gon had given him. He hated that his sapphire eyes were becoming watery oceans, spilling over. How stupid, he thought. The fact that he hadn’t seen this coming was equally vexing. “So…this next journey of yours?”
Gon smiled, although the magnitude in his eyes lingered, “Marry me?”
There was an oddly placid feeling that came with the question. It was tremendously ordinary, they both knew. When had normalcy ever been their style? But digressively, it was the most fitting way to ask such a thing without sounding vague—and Gon wanted to be as clear as possible. The serious mien that began morphing on his face caused Killua to break out in laughter; several tears trailing in retort down his cheeks. “Don’t look so nervous. The answer’s been obvious for years, hasn’t it?”
Gon broke his somber façade, golden eyes brimming now too, “I’d like to hear it though.”
“Do I have to say it?”
“You do.”
Killua snickered before taking the silver band and sliding it onto his ring finger. He gazed up with a playful expression, “Does that answer your question?”
Gon lowered his head with a chuckle; defeated, “Geez, Killua.”
The Zoldyck smirked affectionately, reaching up to pull him close. In an act of endorsement, he pressed his lips near the other’s ear, “It has to be you too, Gon.”
Incredibly exposed to the stars, they breathed soppy laughs—shivering before enough thought-process inspired them to wrap up together in the generous quilt.
The ardent words hung on the air, reverberating in evident gravity…
It has to be you.