Work Text:
Lan Zhan lies on the rock ledge watching a small maned wolf tussle with a jaguarundi.
The two are not in his territory—though barely—and they are not especially bothering him, so he does not consider interference.
Technically, the maned wolf should have the size advantage. But it doesn’t look as if they’re fighting to win. It looks like they might possibly be…playing.
Lan Zhan finds this disconcerting.
He’s never played with any other puma, much less an animal of another species. What is playing, anyway?
Life is busy enough, with hunting for shelter, defending one’s own territory, and hunting for food. There is never a lack of things to do that must be done, and the use of finite time for something as pointless as playing is not one that he can understand, unless the aim of the play is to learn how to fight.
He watches the maned wolf and jaguarundi and cannot see how either of them is learning anything. None of the moves they are using could be adapted to kill, not effectively. In a true fight, the maned wolf would have too much of a size advantage, and the way that they throw themselves at each other is meant more to irritate than kill.
And yet somehow, Lan Zhan’s eyes keep being drawn back to them.
To the maned wolf, specifically, who does not move like a wolf.
He lowers himself into a crouch, ready to pounce; his movements are sleek and graceful, and remind Lan Zhan of a jaguar more than a wolf.
It is…disconcerting.
He tells himself that it is this, the dissonance between the wolf’s species and movements, that is to blame for his fascination.
Perhaps he is aware of a tug somewhere in the back of his mind that says that this is not true. But if he is, he dismisses it, because what would one do with such information?
Lan Zhan is, largely, content with his life.
He’s never particularly entertained the thought of what he would change if he could, because life is what it is, and it’s always seemed that wisdom means accepting things as they are.
He remembers the day that he and xiongzhang had been old enough to leave the den; the way that shufu had chased them out into the world. He remembers the way it had made his chest ache, the way it had felt like being torn apart—and he has borne this all in stride.
He remembers parting with xiongzhang after they had fended on their own together for a week, because it had been time.
“It’s okay to stay together a little longer, if that’s what you need,” xiongzhang had said.
But Lan Zhan had demurred; had taken his leave, because that is what full-grown pumas do. They go out into the world and live alone.
Or so Lan Zhan has always believed.
He still sees xiongzhang once a week, and this is how he came to be surprised a few days ago, when xiongzhang had shown up with a margay curled up on his back, between his shoulder blades, glaring at Lan Zhan like he was daring him to object to…whatever this was.
“This is A-Yao,” xiongzhang had said, and he’d looked at the smaller cat with a light in his eyes that Lan Zhan had never seen there before. “We belong to each other, now.”
Lan Zhan has never thought of the relationship between mates that way before: we belong to each other.
He has his doubts whether xiongzhang can even call the margay his mate, given…all sorts of things that do not bear thinking about.
But there was a light in xiongzhang’s eyes when he looked at the margay, and for all that the margay was a small, weak, pointless creature, its eyes had seemed to reflect that same light when looking back at xiongzhang, and Lan Zhan couldn’t possibly say anything to break the joy he had felt emanating from his brother.
A growl jerks Lan Zhan’s attention back to the presence.
He blinks down from his rock ledge. The jaguarundi and the wolf are closer now, their play having apparently been vigorous enough to have moved them a considerable distance closer to Lan Zhan, and the jaguarundi has noticed him.
Is growling at him.
“Ah,” says the maned wolf, bumping the smaller, darker creature in the side with his rump. “I’m really sorry about him. Is this your territory? We didn’t notice, we’re so sorry—we’ll be on our way now.”
The maned wolf’s reddish fur catches the light, and he looks like the dawn incarnate.
Lan Zhan’s heart is twisting, racing, stealing his breath straight out of his lungs, and he’s never experienced any of this before; he doesn’t know what he wants; he doesn’t know what to do.
“We,” Lan Zhan repeats, and his voice comes out low and ominous. “What is your relationship with the jaguarundi?”
“He’s my brother,” says the maned wolf, entirely too cheerfully. Lan Zhan doesn’t know why it makes his vision blur a little around the edges, like his brain is categorically rejecting all sights that are not the wolf, removing him from his surroundings to admire alone. “I’m Wei Ying, by the way. Could you tell me your name?”
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” glares the jaguarundi.
“You could introduce yourself,” suggests the wolf.
“To a puma?” The jaguarundi’s incredulity is, Lan Zhan must admit, entirely sensible.
And yet something about it rubs him the wrong way—perhaps it is the familiarity that the jaguarundi displays with Wei Ying, who is clearly his better in every way—more powerful, more beautiful, a better conversationalist.
Lan Zhan is unaccountably angry at the jaguarundi, and hisses.
The tiny jaguarundi hisses back.
“Hey,” says the wolf, stepping between them. “No need for this. We just were distracted, okay? We’ll leave now.”
“We don’t have to,” sulks the jaguarundi. “A-jie could take him.”
Implying that their sister is even bigger than the maned wolf. Lan Zhan has so many questions about this family, but none of them seem all that important.
Because he wants the maned wolf—Wei Ying—to go far away, where he never has to see him again.
Because he wants Wei Ying to stay near, to never leave—but why?
“Jiang Cheng,” says Wei Ying, and in the exasperated body language, in the way his voice is petulant and yet subtly commanding in a warm sort of way, there is something…endearing?
It makes no sense. Lan Zhan has no idea what to do with himself.
He growls, and the maned wolf gives a little startled, hurt sort of noise that stabs and twists at Lan Zhan’s heart.
He turns tail and runs, urging the jaguarundi ahead of him.
Lan Zhan stares after him until he is gone, and then even longer.
Though by all rights that should be the end of the maned wolf’s presence in his life, Wei Ying becomes a fixture of Lan Zhan’s days.
Somehow, every morning when Lan Zhan is prowling the boundaries of his territory, he invariably comes across Wei Ying, just at the edge of Lan Zhan’s territory, and sometimes inside it.
Wei Ying becomes bolder day by day, until Lan Zhan does not even need to go anywhere—Wei Ying will be inside his territory, searching for him.
It’s oddly comforting.
Lan Zhan continues to meet xiongzhang and the margay, who apparently is his saozi, for all intents and purposes.
And over the weeks, it get easier.
Xiongzhang still has affection, time, and attention aplenty for Lan Zhan; the margay doesn’t try to insert himself between Lan Zhan and his brother. Over time, Lan Zhan begins to realize that the margay’s glare, perhaps, indicates that the margay, too, is frightened of the threat that Lan Zhan poses to the place that he holds in xiongzhang’s heart.
And while he cannot quite like the margay, he can respect it. He can accept it.
He begins to notice the way that his heart sings whenever Wei Ying is near. He begins to notice the way that his eyes follow Wei Ying.
He wonders if this is how xiongzhang feels when he is watching the margay.
And then he wonders, how?
How did xiongzhang tell the margay? How did they arrive, between one week and the next, at we belong to each other?
Lan Zhan cannot bring himself to ask.
The seasons turn, and it has been almost a full year since he first met Wei Ying that, as he is prowling the edge of his territory, he freezes in place at the sight of a jaguar, seated comfortably just outside his boundaries.
“Hello,” says the jaguar, and she sounds pleasant, but her very presence is a threat. Lan Zhan feels his hackles rise, a growl grow in the back of his throat. “I come in peace,” she says, amusement in her voice. “I’m Yanli—Wei Ying’s sister?”
And Lan Zhan blinks, the growl petering out.
“I just came to talk to you about him. He spends an awful lot of time with you, doesn’t he?”
“Yes,” says Lan Zhan. “I am—of course, I would never harm him, or let harm come to him while he is in my care.”
“Yes, of course,” says the jaguar pleasantly. “I never doubted that. A-Cheng can be a touch hyperbolic, in the way he expresses himself, but I can adjust my understanding of events for the way he speaks.”
Lan Zhan blinks.
“I understand that you like my brother?”
Lan Zhan can only nod.
“Oh, that is wonderful to hear! Perhaps, if it’s not too much trouble, you might try telling him one of these days?”
Lan Zhan blinks at her. His mind is completely blank, and no responses come to mind.
“Hm,” says Yanli, as if she can tell the catastrophe that is silencing Lan Zhan’s mind. “I’ll talk to him as well. But do you know that he thinks that you barely tolerate him?”
Lan Zhan’s heart breaks.
That must be what this is. Breathing is suddenly impossible, and he is grateful for how long it’s been since he last ate. And yet there is a pain that radiates from the center of his chest, numbing and aching him from ear to tail to paw.
“But I…”
He doesn’t know how to continue.
He doesn’t know what he is supposed to say.
There are words for this sort of thing, he knows there are, but they are not with him.
Yanli’s eyes soften. “Oh, A-Zhan,” she says, as if he is hers to care for, and he doesn’t even mind. “I’m not here to threaten you, or hurt you. I only want you both to be happy. I’ll talk to him, too. But…do consider that if you want something to change, it’s in your power to make that change happen?”
She stands, turns and walks away.
Lan Zhan knows that he ought to feel threatened, no matter what she says. But he does not.
He thinks of Wei Ying, and he aches.
Wei Ying’s head is hanging low when he arrives the next day, just as Lan Zhan has caught a hare in one calculated pounce-and-bite.
It hurts Lan Zhan right in the chest again, seeing Wei Ying this way. It makes Lan Zhan want to groom him; to let him sleep and curl up around him; to keep him and feed him and protect him and never let go.
He picks up the hare, and places it before Wei Ying, who blinks up at him.
“Wha—but didn’t you catch this for yourself?” says Wei Ying.
“For you,” says Lan Zhan.
“You already knew I was here?” says Wei Ying, missing the point entirely in his usual fashion. He leans down and takes a bite of hare. “Ah, Lan Zhan is so amazing, as usual.”
And Lan Zhan—cannot muster the bravery to say what he needs to say.
He watches Wei Ying eat the prey he has offered—an offering he often makes, an offering that is as clear an indication of his feelings as he knows how to make—and wonders, once again, what he is supposed to say that is not already, painfully clear through his actions.
Time slips away, and Wei Wuxian finishes the hare.
The delight of the feast begins to drain away, and his shoulders slump again.
Lan Zhan just wants to take that sorrow away; shoulder it himself, if he could.
“A-jie said to me…” Wei Ying begins, and Lan Zhan’s heart leaps. “She said I should ask you something. But…I already know the answer, and you’ll think…”
Lan Zhan’s heart is in his throat.
“Ask me,” he says—and the hope is so tangible in the air that he can taste it. It is seeping right out of him, from every follicle and into the very air.
“But don’t get the wrong idea, okay?” says Wei Ying, peering up at him, anxiousness written in his eyes. “Just—it’s just a question.”
“Ask,” Lan Zhan repeats.
“Do you…” Wei Ying looks down. “Do you like me, at all?”
“Yes,” says Lan Zhan, fiercely, ferociously, and Wei Ying’s face jerks up in surprise. It isn’t enough, he knows—it’s not nearly enough. “Very much.”
His voice is soft, now. Tender.
The surprise melts into hope, then joy, and Wei Ying leaps over the remains of the hare to Lan Zhan’s side.
Buries his face in Lan Zhan’s shoulder and steps forward, rubbing their sides against each other—scenting me, Lan Zhan realizes.
And when Wei Ying turns around to do it again, Lan Zhan turns too, and they scent each other again.
“Stay?” asks Lan Zhan after they have repeated this several times, and turn to do it yet again.
Wei Ying stops, then. Tucks himself under Lan Zhan’s head, so that he can nuzzle into the soft fur of his neck.
“You have to be careful,” says Wei Ying, and he sounds breathless. “If you let me, I’ll stay forever.”
“Stay forever,” says Lan Zhan, and licks a stripe over Wei Ying’s head.
The joy in Wei Ying’s eyes is breathtaking.
Lan Zhan leans down and licks him again.