Chapter Text
“A witch, you say?” Steve asks incredulously, playing with the card Natasha gave him, not looking directly at it yet. “And they could find my soulmate?”
“Yes, they still exist,” Nat says, leaning back into the couch and grins like she just told him a secret he should already know.
Witches have been known to exist for a long time, yet there have always been attempts to wipe them out. The last had been in World War II when Hydra and the demon Red Skull tried to directly attack the Web of Fate and the witches. This web connects all living people, sometimes tying knots of red strings between true soulmates and witches could feel them out, manipulating the strands and accomplishing astonishing things.
It’s said that not everyone could feel the Web of Fate, so Steve isn’t so sure anymore. In his youth, he was convinced that there had to be his soulmate out there, somewhere in the world. Everyone searches for their mate, some even find them. But not all are lucky.
After the serum, Steve couldn’t feel it anymore. It was like his connection snapped. Howard and Peggy apologized over and over again but Steve felt then that it would be okay. That it was more important to wipe out Hydra and their insidious plans for a world without the strings of Fate. A world where no one would feel what their soulmate feels. A world where Hydra would rule. No, he couldn’t let them do that. The fight against the Red Skull was the hardest of his life but in the end and with the Tesseract he banished him. But it was at the cost of his own life, he knew and couldn’t know that it would be seventy years in the ice instead.
Cold and dark. Those were his only memories. After he crashed the plane into the Arctic, there was nothing more. And then he felt it, could see it before his inner eye as he lay in the ice, frozen to the bone, unable to see, to hear, to feel. There was a red string, gently folding itself around his heart like he dreamed of so many times before the serum. He then fell into darkness again but the dream came back once more. And finally, there was warmth again when SHIELD finally found him and thawed him out. There were the Avengers, new friends, a new world, so different but still so deeply connected to Fate like it once was. A good world, he could decide after a while, after getting to know this new world better. But was it really the time to search for his soulmate?
Steve could sometimes feel a light tug around his heart, like his soulmate might be out there but he felt it in the past too. Maybe the connection can heal? But maybe it’s just a wishful dream or his overactive imagination?
“Speak with the witch, they know their stuff around these things,” Natasha had said before giving him the card and now he looks closer at it. The word Moonlight is printed on it in neat letters, an address and a hotline. The card is decorated with a few hand-drawn scribbles that look like sigils of magic. It’s not exactly informative and Steve tells Natasha so. She laughs. “That’s what Google is for.”
Natasha might be right, Steve thinks, but still, he’s skeptical. And maybe it’s also a little bit of fear that this witch might tell him that there really isn’t someone out there in the world to whom he’s tied to. Many people have soulmates but not everyone it seems. Witches have always claimed otherwise but Steve is not sure.
“I don’t think you should google this stuff. It’s all wishy-washy, a few hand waves and then you lose a bunch of dollars.” Tony is strolling into the living room and lets himself drop onto the couch beside Natasha. She scrunches her nose at him.
“Don’t listen to him,” she says and gives Tony’s outstretched knee a light shove which he takes with a huff. “Just try it out. Besides, the witch is nice.”
If Natasha says that, it has to be true. She wouldn’t lead him to someone who would get his hopes up and then let him down, right?
“I’ll think about it,” Steve says, pocketing the card to Tony’s huffs of annoyance. The mechanic seems ill-tempered today but wouldn’t say the reason for it. Steve has learned that it wouldn’t do anything good if he keeps prodding Tony to state the reason for his annoyance. The mechanic would only keep to himself or make quips to distract them.
“Don’t do that, Steve. You’ll be disappointed when it turns out that there’s no one out there.”
“Tony,” Natasha growls, a clear warning.
“What? It’s better this way. Imagine your soulmate is an asshole and you can’t tie the knot with them.” Tony snickers but there is no joy behind it. His brown eyes look at Steve coolly. “What happened to old school dating? Getting to know each other without that magic stuff?”
“You just don’t believe in it and that’s fine too,” Natasha sighs and presses her lips together into a tight line.
“Don’t tell me you believe in this stuff.” Tony groans.
“I do.”
“And next you’ll tell me you have a soulmate too.”
“In fact I do.” Natasha now grins at Tony’s bewildered expression and Steve can’t help thinking what a lucky woman she must be. She never told them about a mate. The second thought that crosses his mind is how much fun she must have at this moment. She really likes to keep her secrets, just a tiny bit out of reach. Which must frustrate someone like Tony so much, given that he always seeks explanations.
Natasha is smiling wistfully and remains silent at Tony’s prodding who her mate has to be and why she never told them.
“Buuuut… you didn’t form a bond, did you?” Tony finally asks and looks confident. Because marriage can break, but soulbonds are forever.
Natasha shakes her head and that’s also all that she gives them as an answer. Then she excuses herself.
“Call the witch, Steve,” she tells him as she walks off and Steve thinks that yes, he will.
“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you, Steve,” Tony said after Natasha left the room. The mechanic is still sitting on the couch with his legs leisurely spread. He only wears sweatpants and a tight shirt, smeared with oil stains with the light of his arc reactor shining through the thin cotton. There is a scowl on his face.
Steve decides it would be best to be just forward. “Why don’t you like them? Witches, soulmates…”
“I don’t believe in them,” the answer comes just as straight forward.
“Why?”
Tony sighs deeply and crosses his legs. “That’s another story to tell,” he just says. “I just … not everybody has a soulmate and some can’t ever afford to meet them. And what does fate have to do with it? I’ve never felt that magical stuff. Dreamed of it, sure… when I was young, just like everybody else. Because everybody tells us that there is stuff out there we can’t explain with science. And that’s stupid.”
It’s the first time Steve has heard Tony say so much about soulmates and magic. So the mechanic doesn’t believe in it and he’s probably not the only one. “When Hydra attacked…”
“... it was with the Tesseract and that is … well…” Tony makes a hand waving gesture. “We don’t understand that thing yet and now it’s with Thor, so we won’t have a chance to really examine it. It’s a shame…”
“Well, it’s a powerful thing,” Steve shrugs. It’s good that the Tesseract is in Asgard for safekeeping. After Loki almost destroyed New York with the channeled power of this artifact, it was only reasonable that Thor would take it with him to his realm. “So, you don’t believe in fate.”
“I believe in making my own fate,” Tony says and doesn't sound very honest with that, but he gets up to walk to the bar. “Want a drink?”
****
Steve thinks for a long moment about what Tony said about believing in his own fate. They didn’t talk much afterward with Tony avoiding the subject again like a plague. At least he reminded him to please use an untraceable credit card (“ We won’t want the witch to tell right away that they’re working on finding Captain America’s soulmate, right? ”). But he already made up his own mind. He would find the One. Money wouldn’t be a matter, he has everything he needs and twice more. But what if Tony was right and his mate was an asshole? No, he couldn’t believe that fate would be so cruel to tease him with the strings. He will call this witch and hear what they have to say about it.
It still took him several attempts to just type the number on his phone but then he gathers all his willpower and taps the green button. A happy little melody tunes in as he waits for the call to be accepted and then finally there is a click in the line.
“Welcome to the Moonlight Wishes Hotline. This is James Barnes speaking. What can I do for you?” It’s a pleasant voice that greets him, clear and quiet. Steve likes it.
“Uhm … this is … Roger Grant,” he stammers. Natasha told him once to be careful with his identity around the internet and he figures that calling some witches’ hotline could be counted too.
“Hello, Roger. I can call you Roger, can I?”
“Yes. Perfect.” Perfect. Steve presses his phone against his ear, rumbling through his thoughts about what to say next. But the witch, James, is faster.
“And you want to find your mate, right?”
Steve swallows hard. “How did you know?” He had some experience with witches in the past but no one could read him that fast. Maybe the witch was clairvoyant? That makes something in his stomach fall heavy and his breath goes faster.
“Just a lucky guess. Most of my clients want that, so I figured you wanted it too.” James’ words calm Steve a bit down but still, the ice-cold rush doesn’t want to subside. “ So, if you want to find your soulmate, then you should tell me about yourself. The process can be long but I’m sure I can help you to push things a little faster. ”
A smile tucks on the right corner of his mouth. “Shouldn’t you be able to tell me about myself?”
The laugh on the other side of the line is more of an amused chuckle. “I’m not that kind of witch. I can read the cards just fine and I will be working with them, just so you know. They can show me some directions. But it will go faster if you just tell me a bit about yourself, so I know where to search.”
That makes some sense to Steve who is silently nodding along. But where can he start? He doesn’t want to tell James yet that he is Captain America, the man with a plan, an Avenger. He sure can’t tell him that he works for SHIELD as Natasha, if not Fury himself, would kill him. And the ice, the cold darkness … no, he can’t.
“I could make a birth chart for you,” James suggests finally and Steve is beginning to nod. But then he remembers that telling the witch of his birthday would also uncover his lie.
“Uh… no… no birth chart. I… I don’t exactly remember…” he tries and the witch seems to listen closely.
“Okay, it’s fine. So no birth chart. Then just tell me what you like to do, your hobbies.”
It strikes Steve as strange that the witch doesn’t ask further. Maybe he just assumes that Steve is adopted and doesn’t want to pry yet. Nevertheless, he answers him. “Uhm… I like to draw and paint.” He did in the past and even if Steve doesn’t have time for it now, he figures that with time he would like to take out his brushes again.
“So, you’re creative and have an eye for the greater things and also their details.” It sounds more like a question from the witch but he’s right.
“I like to paint landscapes but also people. I did some work for ads and some cartoons in the past. I was in art school, but it was really hard to afford. And I was sick the whole time.” With the phone on his ear, Steve begins to walk around his living room. The words come easier now. “Actually I was sick a long time; I would get a cold even in summer. Had asthma.” He huffs with a smile on his face. “It wasn’t until I was twenty-six when my health finally turned better. And I have friends. Some of them are a bit frightening and one of them doesn’t believe in mates. Oh, in fact one of them recommended you.”
“Oh? That’s nice to hear. I mean, not your bad health, but… you know, everything else. Who recommended me?”
“Oh… uh…” Steve doesn’t know how to answer that as Natasha hadn’t said how she acquired that card or how she came to know James. If she even does. “Her name’s Nat,” he tries and hopes to be as neutral as possible.
“Natalia? Ah, that’s a joy. I would ask you how she’s doing but this is about you.” Does the witch really know Natasha or does he just guess? Steve decides that it doesn’t matter. “So, I think that could take a bit longer. May I read the cards for you, so we can delve a bit further?”
“Ok,” Steve says. “I guess, it’s fine.”
“Wonderful. Just let me get my cards. Do you have a preference? I can read you the Tarot or the Lenormand.” Atthe end of the line something is shuffling.
“Is there a difference?”
“Well, the Tarot can be a bit more in-depth but the Lenormand cards are just as fine. I just want to tell you that this can go a long time if I make a spread to delve into the Deep Fate.”
Steve has no clue what the witch is speaking about. “Uh, I think it’s fine.”
“What about your phone bill?”
Oh. Steve has forgotten that calling a hotline isn’t exactly cheap. It’s nice that James wants to warn him about that but not necessary and he tells him so.
“Okay, I think, I’ll go with the Lenormand for the moment. But I would highly recommend you to come to my store so we can do this face to face.” James chuckles quietly and Steve smiles. He finds that he would like to meet the witch in person instead of just doing this over the phone. It seems too impersonal to him. But if he showed up at James’ workplace, he would know instantly who Steve actually is. Would he then tell him everything Captain America would like to hear?
Again there is shuffling heard through the phone as James gets ready with his cards.
“By the way, you can call me Bucky,” he says with a smile in his voice and then is silent for a moment. Steve hears and imagines how the cards are flowing between his hands. He can see it so clearly before his eyes how the cards flip and shuffle and James - no, Bucky - is humming quietly some melodic tune. “Okay, we have here the Mice and the Fishes. You lived in poverty. I guess, art school was expensive and with your bad health, it must have been difficult to afford it.”
“Yeah, that’s one way to put it.” Okay, the witch put two and two together, Natasha could have done that too. Steve is not yet impressed but he likes to hear Bucky talking.
“Now it gets interesting, ” Bucky says and is silent for a few seconds. “There is the Coffin, the Scythe, and the Tower. Something severed your connection to the Web of Fate. It happens sometimes, you know? It must have been a big change deep in yourself. You were called for a higher purpose, for an organization. But there is also the Ring and the Anchor. You’re healing, the connection always finds the way back to you and you’ll find your peace.”
“This sounds a bit too good to be true,” Steve eventually tells him after a few more seconds of silence from his side. But Bucky is right. He can feel the pull of the strings of Fate even if he wasn’t too sure about it.
“I guess it is. But Fate always finds its way back to you, ” Bucky repeats softly. “ The strings can be broken by big changes even if it’s difficult and very painful. But once the soulbond takes hold, nothing can sever the connection between two mates.”
“Do you think my mate was out there before this … uh, big change?” What if he had one and then lost them with the connection? That thought hurts. Steve can feel his fingers trembling and he quickly changes the phone between his hands, now grasping it with his left.
“I don’t think so. There is nothing in the cards that indicate that. A lot of people dream about the Red String. It just means that you’re a bit sensitive to the magic. But Fate decides when it’s time to find your soulmate. Does this help a bit?”
It does, Steve finds. And it makes him think of Tony of all people. The mechanic always speaks of how he doesn’t believe in fate and soulmates. But what if there is someone out there for him and he just can’t feel it? There was the incident with the arc reactor in his chest, something Tony seldom wants to speak about with good reason. It may have been one of these big changes Bucky spoke about. He suddenly feels so sorry for Tony. But if the connection can heal just as Bucky said, then Tony could find a mate of his own. That thought makes Steve smile.
“Roger? You’re hiding something.” The voice of the witch pulls Steve out of his thoughts and back to reality.
“Huh?”
“Mh-hmm.” Steve can see before his inner eye how Bucky nods knowingly. “You’re hiding behind a mask and I bet, Roger Grant isn’t your real name.”
A cold shiver runs down Steve’s spine. He did use the untraceable credit card as Tony asked him to. But still, he feels like he was caught trapped in a lie which is exactly how it is. Not knowing what to say, he remains silent, the phone pressed to his ear. He can hear Bucky’s gentle breathing.
“It’s okay,” Bucky says softly. “We all wear masks but yours is … I don’t know how to describe it. It’s a really difficult matter. I’d like you to be honest with me, so we can work on your goal to find your soulmate. Okay?”
He should have known better than to lie to a witch, it seems. Steve sighs. “There is something that I can’t tell you about at the moment, Bucky. But I’ll try.”
“That’s fine,” Bucky seems to want to say more but Steve interrupts him.
“I have to go now. I’ll call you some other time.”
“Huh? Okay then…” The witch sounds startled and Steve grimaces. He doesn’t exactly want to end the call but he wants to find out more about Bucky before telling him who Roger Grant actually is. Although he expected the call to be more personal he wasn’t prepared for actually answering questions about himself. Now he feels a bit silly about it. He wants to find his soulmate with the help of a witch, of course, it would get personal. How else should he find them?
He wishes Bucky a good night and then ends the call as soon as the witch responds with a farewell. Time to google James Barnes and his Moonlight shop.
****
The kitchen he saw in the video was spotless but cluttered with all kinds of herbs and utensils. Bucky Barnes’ hands are kneading dough as he talks in his quiet, relaxing voice of the grounding properties of yeast, the purification of salt and the happiness honey brings. Soft music is playing in the background, leading Steve to recline in his chair, closing his eyes and just letting Bucky’s voice and the music flow. He doesn’t really understand what the witch is talking about, but seeing and hearing him touches something in Steve that makes him at ease. He can see before his inner eye how Bucky’s hands are now cleaning his kitchen, watering his herbs as he speaks sweet nothings to them. A smile creeps on Steve’s lips, tugging at the corners of his mouth and he hears Bucky murmuring: “You had a good day, did you? Here, have a little drink.”
Suddenly Steve sits up. That didn’t come from the video. That had stopped by now.
Did he dream of it? His fingers hover above the mouse, ready to close the video. It’s almost 8 pm now, the sun is going down, bathing the city in warm light. The same light he saw through Bucky’s kitchen window. But the video had a different light. He must have been dreaming, Steve decides. But it was a nice dream. He still has no idea how the witch looks, as in the video only his hands are shown and in his dream, it was like looking through the witch’s eyes. But he has beautiful hands, long and slender fingers, they seemed warm and gentle, a bit like Tony’s hands which are more calloused and almost always with a smudge of motor oil if he didn’t get ready and immaculate for some charity work or an appearance at some university that Pepper arranged for him. Sometimes Steve catches himself wanting to wipe the smudges away.
Okay, enough for today, Steve decides. He had looked through Bucky’s videos on YouTube the whole afternoon and learned some recipes but nothing more. Except that he wants to meet the witch in person. The Moonlight store is not far from his old home in Brooklyn. Maybe he really should visit him?
“Captain Rogers. I would like to inform you that Mister Stark is on his way to you,” Jarvis’ sonorous voice tells him and Steve looks up. Isn’t Tony normally in his workshop at this time? He stands and crosses the room to open the door before the mechanic could knock.
“Tony, what a pleasant surprise”, he says smiling.
“Ah, I’m sure, J already told you. What’s up, Capsicle?” Tony looks a bit disheveled. His short dark hair is tussled, his goatee unkempt. There are indeed oil smudges on his hands and underarms, the light of the arc reactor is shining through the thin cotton of his shirt. He was working, Steve guesses.
“I could ask you that too,” Steve tells him and opens the door a bit wider to let Tony in. Tony strolls into the room like he owns it and he technically does. Steve had offered him rent for the apartment in the Tower that Tony didn’t want to take. “ You’re my friend and we’re the Avengers. It’s good for us to be all in one place and I have enough money, ” Tony said then.
“Just wanted to check in on you,” Tony admits and lets himself slump into the couch in the living room. “Could you make me a drink?”
“So it’s not movie night,” Steve takes from that and moves to the kitchen. He doesn’t know how to make cocktails and has no alcohol stocked in there. He can’t get drunk except from the stuff Thor sometimes brings them. So he just brings Tony an orange juice which the mechanic accepts with a slight scowl on his face.
“I know you can’t get drunk but don’t you just miss the taste of a good whiskey?” He asks and puts the glass with the juice down the coffee table.
“Well, now that you mention it…?” Tony is right. Sometimes he misses a good beer or a whiskey. So what if he can’t get drunk when he can get the taste? He hadn’t thought of it.
“Next time I bring the whiskey,” Tony promises and puts his feet on the coffee table. “So you called the witch, hm?” He doesn’t look happy about it. “And you searched for him.”
“ How did you know the witch is a him? Did… did you hack my computer?” Steve’s eyes go wide.
“No, I just guessed and you fell for it.” Tony has a wide grin on his face like the cat got the cream. Natasha must have taught him well, Steve thinks. He would have expected such a move from her but not from Tony. “Sit down, Rogers. It’s storytime,” Tony says, patting the seat to his left and with his brow creased Steve indulges. “Okay, once upon a time…” he begins and his grin slowly fades. “There was a mechanic. They called him the Merchant of Death, because of all the weapons that killed people, you know? He was captured and tortured and got a battery linked to his heart…”
“I know that, Tony. I’m sorry for what happened,” Steve offers but can’t think of what Tony wants to say with his story.
“Nonono, listen and don’t interrupt me,” Tony says and leans back into the couch, folding his hands above his belly. “I dreamt of the strings too, you know? All that magic stuff, everyone talks about. I was a kid and hoped that there was someone out there who would’ve understood and accepted me completely. But that’s all wishful thinking. I got my shining bright light here…” he taps with his forefinger on his chest. “This wasn’t fate. If there was the one out there, they would have felt that. All that pain… when it was over and I was Iron Man… if there was someone out there and felt that? I don’t know, I wouldn’t wish that on them.”
“I don’t think it works that way, Tony,” Steve carefully says. “And… if I may?” He gets a wave of Tony’s right hand that he may continue. “It sounds that you at least still believe in soulmates. A little bit.”
Tony huffs in annoyance and remains silent for a few moments. “Maybe,” he finally admits and adds quickly: “But don’t tell the others.”
“I won’t,” Steve promises and knows that he would never hear the end of it if he would break this promise. “Do you think that soulmates can really feel each other? See through their eyes?”
“God, I hope not. That must be awful all the time. I can’t really imagine how that works. This magic stuff is so bogus.”
“Maybe you should talk to Bucky,” Steve suggests and winces as Tony gives him a glare.
“You mean the witch Nat gave you the card from?” He huffs again. “As I said, if he’s not a fraud and all those self-proclaimed witches I met were frauds… if there is my soulmate out there, they don’t want anything to do with me.”
“I don’t believe that.” Steve doesn’t want to believe it. Tony might be abrasive and rude sometimes, but he is a good friend. A great talker too. And handsome, he thinks. A hard shell with a soft core, that’s what Tony is, the Iron Man armor just proof of it.
Tony groans. “I want a whiskey now,” he pleads and sits up. “Come on, Rogers. You’re coming with me to my bar. Get you a taste for the real good stuff.”
Steve can feel his warm hand on his back as he claps him on the shoulder and gets up too. In his mind, he makes a note to ask Bucky about the things Tony said. Can soulmates really feel each other? The known cases say yes, but can they feel it, even if they don’t know each other yet? How does one notice it? Questions upon questions. There will be time for that later. Now he walks with Tony to the elevator that will bring them to Tony’s bar and he looks forward to enjoying a good drink with the mechanic at his side, who seems to need this badly.