Chapter Text
Why don’t you come over for dinner? My brother’s in town and he asked if you were coming over for dinner.
He asked if you were coming over.
Taehyung stared at his lit cellphone with the text from Jimin, his best friend since elementary school, a familiar rush of nerves bursting through his belly as he read it over and over.
He asked.
How long had it been since he had seen Jeongguk? His schedule with his work was always so busy, it was rare that he got to see him at Jimin’s parent’s house for dinner.
Not that Taehyung didn’t get to see him other times when he was in town. Even then, it had to have been two months since he saw him last. In-person at least. Jeongguk’s face was everywhere due to his fame.
The knock-on at his door at 2 am pulled him away from the movie he had been immersed in. One looked through his peephole and he was thrust back onto it. Into him. Jeongguk was in town and he was knocking at his door at 2 am, which could only mean one thing.
“Oh good, you’re up.” Jeongguk always tried too hard to sound casual when he knocked at the older man’s door at 2 am, but the look in his eyes was never convincing enough. He was horny and Taehyung was always willing to give in to him.
His fingers typed away in response to the from Jimin.
Yeah, sure. I loved to see everybody. I will stop by.
“I’m not exactly in a position for a relationship… you understand that, right?”
Taehyung heard those words from his lips immediately after he slept with Jeongguk the first time and the sting was real. He had given in to him so easily that first time. The truth was Taehyung had dreamed about it happening for such a long time that when it finally happened, he felt the very short-lived hope inside his chest that maybe… just maybe—
“No, I get it. Don’t worry about me, I’m… also not looking for anything serious.”
“So, you don’t mind if I… come to see you again sometime? Just when I’m in town?”
Now Taehyung had promised to make an appearance tonight at dinner. Dinner at their big table where he practically had his spot in between Jimin and the empty seat of Jeongguk’s that was filled only a handful of times a year. His bed had been occupied by him at least three times the rate of that dinner seat, since that first time. After they both caved and finally gave in to each other, gave into what had been building for years and years.
The first family dinner after that first new and exciting step in his relationship with Jeongguk had been tense. Much more tense than when the flirting had been enough.
Much more tense after the stolen glances had turned into outright staring and small touches turned to a stolen kiss inside the walk-in pantry that sat off the kitchen; with his mother making gravy at the stove, shouting for him to bring her the bag of flour. Taehyung could still remember the feels of Jeongguk’s hands on his jaw. His fingers slipping into his hair slowly as his lips pushed up against his stunning ones— before he slipped out of the door with the bag of flour and left him alone in that pantry with a racing heart and a mind full of questions.
Jimin didn’t know. Jimin’s parents didn’t know either. It was a complete secret to everyone and Jeongguk was an excellent actor when their eyes were watching. He was calm and composed and used nearly every opportunity to torture Taehyung in secret while simultaneously reminding him how important it was to keep this a secret from his family. His hand would slip up his pants, too warm and too high on his thigh, hidden below a long draping tablecloth and would look at him in genuine surprise if he reacted, asking if he was okay when his fingertips reached Taehyung’s undergarments and began trailing slow circles over the moistening fabric.
If it were not so much fun, Taehyung would have put a stop to it months ago. As it was now, he was weak to him.
And Jeongguk knew it.
Jeongguk was a good fuck and Taehyung was lonely. His job demanded a lot of his time, not nearly as much as Jeongguk’s of course, but after trying and failing to keep a steady relationship with a man, he’d given up, again and again, complaining on the phone to him how needy most of the men he dated were. Jeongguk would laugh knowingly and add that maybe the older was not the relationship type. Part of Taehyung wondered how much of that was his wishful thinking, and how much was a genuine assessment of his datability. But the other part of him knew that he was right. Taehyung was too busy for a relationship. Jeongguk was too busy for a relationship. And the two of them had an understanding now that simply worked for them both. If there was anyone who understood his plight, it was him.
But something felt different this time. Taehyung told himself it had to just be the long absence, but that made little sense. Jeongguk had been gone for long periods before. Maybe it was the last phone call Taehyung had with him, when Jeongguk called him somewhat drunk and needy and Taehyung helped him through it while he was on tour.
“Goodnight, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, love you.”
His slurred parting echoed in Taehyung’s memory now just as it had again and again long after the call was disconnected, and his phone had gone black.
…love you…love you…love you…
It was a slip. He didn’t mean it.
Jeongguk had always been so careful. He had never done that before. And he didn’t call Taehyung for three weeks after that phone call. Texting him an excuse about being too busy for missing his calls and never once mentioning about the slip.
The words he must have said out of habit.
The words he could never mean because they were against the rules.
Taehyung stood in front of his open closet, eyeing the skinny jeans he had picked out to go with the long flowing top. Next to the jeans sat a pair of shorts, equally as cute and he stared at the two items as if the shorts ever stood a chance.
The cool breeze hit his bare legs, causing a ripple of goosebumps to flare across his skin as he stood at the end of the driveway that led up to the upscale home in the nice part of town. The home that was so familiar to him that he knew every crack in the cobblestone and every groove of wood of the banister that lined the steps up to the front door. Taehyung winced and rubbed away at the goosebumps. Annoyed at the thought that his freshly shaven legs might feel a little prickly under roaming hands, should those hands make their way along flesh he had so painstakingly shaved mere hours before.
Taehyung lifted a hand to ring the doorbell. The gesture felt foreign in itself at this door that he was so accustomed to opening and just walking through, but tonight’s dinner felt different somehow. Jeongguk was back and Taehyung’s stomach was in his throat as he waited for someone to answer the door, feeling like a fake for all this effort.
The sound of someone’s voice drew near and the door was pulled open as a smiling Jimin peered around the wood at his best friend.
“You weirdo, why didn’t you just come in?” Jimin turned quickly and retreated through his home, laughing at his best friend’s sudden awkwardness and Taehyung quickly followed behind him as he led him into the large kitchen. His eyes scanned the room, glancing down the hallway that he knew led to Jeongguk’s room before he quickly looked forward, keeping the guilt from his expression.
“Long time no see.” A familiar soft voice spoke up behind him and Taehyung whirled around with his passive yet friendly smile in place. Jeongguk had emerged from the living room and intercepted him and Jimin as he entered the kitchen.
“Jeongguk, it’s so nice to see you again,” Taehyung said through his wide friendly smile that he had practiced in front of his mirror as he got dressed for tonight and as he watched Jeongguk’s eyes dance around his face as he leaned in to wrap him in a tight hug.
Taehyung tried his best not to linger. He felt the rush in his arms as well and he quickly returned the embrace with a few taps on his back, between Jeongguk’s shoulder blades and Taehyung felt his fingers slip a bit slower down his own back before Jeongguk took a step back and the contact was broken.
The damage from his hug had been substantial. Taehyung’s heart raged against his rib cage and he lifted his hand to touch his face as he looked away from him and away from Jimin, trying to quell the heat Taehyung felt in his cheeks. Jeongguk smelled different than he had before. More expensive, cleaner, and more like someone so unattainable he wondered how he had ever managed to get Jeongguk to spend even a few seconds of his very exclusive attention on him.
Taehyung felt, very suddenly, smaller than he had before. Very… less than before and he sniffled into himself as he quietly excused himself for the bathroom.
Taehyung’s feet carried him down the hallway to the private bathroom from Jimin’s room where Taehyung knew he would find a few moments to think.
It was the reunion. It would pass and Taehyung would open and find comfort in his friends again if he just had a damn minute.
The faucet ran freely into the porcelain sink and the sound calmed his nerves a bit.
Taehyung hated this part. Knowing the strong effect, Jeongguk always had on him. Knowing that Jeongguk knew it as well. Why had he ever given him so much power over him?
That didn’t matter. Taehyung just needed a few minutes to put his carefully constructed walls back up and he would get through this dinner in one piece. He would play his part well and he would eat with a smile, make small talk with Mr. and Mrs. Park while he shook off Jeongguk’s hands roaming under the tablecloth and he would leave this place alive.
With the well-guarded secret of two years still very much intact and protected.
And Taehyung would go home and hug his dog, Yeontan, as his leg shook on his sofa and he waited for the soft knock on his door that would come at 2 am.
Because Jeongguk was back in town. The temptation would be too great for him to resist. Just as it was too great of a temptation for Taehyung to turn him away.
Taehyung’s mind dwelled on that soft knock as he watched the water flow down the sink. The environmental impact of the gallons of water wasted be damned, he needed this.
That soft knock. Always twice. Always at 2 am. A sound so significant Taehyung practically felt his wetness growing as he thought about the sound of it. Having been so conditioned to Jeongguk by now, it hardly even took any effort on his part to get him in the mood when he heard that sound.
And when Taehyung finally straightened up his fitted jeans, fixing his top, which hadn’t even fallen out of place one bit, he cut off the water and he stared at his reflection in the mirror.
And he heard it.
Two soft knocks on the bathroom door.
Taehyung knew who it was.
His hand moved on its own and he turned the lock. Jeongguk would hear the click and in a few minutes, the door would open as he slipped inside.
Taehyung didn’t even need to look by now to know what was happening and he smelled him again.
That fancy new smell of his. Different. More than before. He always came back more.
“You okay? Why’d you run away like that?” Jeongguk was not touching him with his hands, but his voice was cradling Taehyung’s face with warm fingertips and inching along his jaw toward the sensitive skin just below his ear.
“I’m fine Gukkie, I just needed a moment.” Taehyung breathed in a deep calming breath and turned to look at him. Jeongguk watched him with slightly amused eyes that lingered too long everywhere they looked.
Maybe that was just the power of his eyes.
Jimin had the same eyes as Jeongguk. Why were his such powerful weapons against Taehyung, when Jimin was simply comfort and love? His eyes were disarming. His eyes were debilitating. And Jeongguk was watching Taehyung as he raised a single eyebrow on his pretty face and smirked.
“Jeongguk. You call me Jeongguk here, remember?” His voice was suddenly snarky, and Taehyung puffed out a small laugh as he rolled his eyes and shook his head.
Taehyung couldn’t remember when it was that this little game lost so much of its appeal, but he suddenly didn’t want to play anymore. Not with Jeongguk looking at him like that and not with Jimin and his parents under the same roof. So, Taehyung turned and made his way to exit the bathroom so he could greet his parents, sit down, and eat and get the hell home before he lost his ability to think straight around him again.
“Don’t worry Jeongguk, I remember all of the rules.” Taehyung slipped past him, aiming for the exit behind where Jeongguk stood and he felt warm fingers grip lightly around his wrist as he moved into his reach.
Taehyung’s stupid feet stopped moving.
“I missed you.”
Taehyung closed his eyes at the sound of his words. So well played and well calculated and Taehyung could feel himself falling back into it. Into the game. He had been such a willing player for so long it felt like second nature. He no longer needed to keep score or even be reminded of the rules.
When Taehyung opened his eyes again Jeongguk was watching him with a strange look of vulnerability he rarely saw from him. That look. Taehyung never saw it during the sex. The sex with Jeongguk was passionate and raw. Needy and demanding. Taehyung only glimpsed this look in the wee hours of the morning as he pulled his pants up and buckled his belt, grabbed his coat and hat and pulled them on and turned to look once back at him as Taehyung laid on his bed, not caring to cover his nakedness from the man he had just fucked. Jeongguk always left after that look. That look was a signal that he was about to run.
Taehyung cocked his head, curious now as to why he would see a look like that in his eyes now.
When Jeongguk leaned in, he didn’t even pull away. Taehyung accepted what would happen. When his lips touched him, it was familiar–
–and he was home. Taehyung could feel it so completely in his bones with Jeongguk’s soft lips pressed up against him in the quiet private space of the bathroom at his parents house as they waited in the dining room sipping on seltzer water with lime wedges, waiting for the caterers to serve the soup.
Although the smell of him had changed, the taste of his mouth was familiar. Clean, warm, wet, and wanting, his head angled, and Taehyung felt a surge inside Jeongguk as he took a step into the older. His hands lifted into Taehyung and he felt fingers against the nape of his neck and a warm hand around his waist, pulling Taehyung into him. Hidden just below the passion and the want he tasted what Taehyung was sure was a hint of alcohol. It was faint, but there. A pre-family dinner shot no doubt, to settle his busy mind. Jeongguk’s mind was always too busy and his legs too jumpy to sit still and he often turned to alcohol to settle himself.
Jeongguk was an adult and he could do as he pleased, but the bitter taste brought Taehyung back to his senses. This was against the rules. No funny business at his parents’ house. A rule Jeongguk rarely enforced when it suited him, but liked to remind Taehyung of when he found himself too affected by his touches and teasing during dinner or under the big shared blanket as he sat on the couch next to him during family movie nights. How long had it been since he had time for that?
Jeongguk felt Taehyung stiffen and pulled back from the kiss and with a quick turn of his head away from him he dropped his hold on Taehyung’s neck and his waist and Taehyung felt the cold absence of him as Jeongguk retreated from him.
The silence of the bathroom was peppered with heavy breaths from both of them and after ten seconds Taehyung cleared his throat and wiped the wetness from his lips with the back of his hand.
This time, his path to the exit remained unobstructed by warm fingertips, roaming hands, and passionate stolen kisses and Taehyung made his swift escape, leaving Jeongguk to deal with his own rule violation and the aftereffects of such unacceptable behavior alone.
In the dining room, Taehyung was greeted by the warmth of Mrs. Park’s smiles and the disinterested nod of Mr. Park, who scrolled through something on a tablet at the table.
“Honey put the technology away, dinner’s about to start.” Mrs. Park lightly nagged her husband who waved a hand to silence his wife. She didn’t mean it though and she was soon busy talking with Taehyung about her son’s latest successes in the music industry.
“I wanted to discuss something with you honey–” Taehyung half paid attention as he listened for the sounds of Jeongguk’s footsteps in the dining room that would indicate his arrival and Taehyung needed to guard his heart again. He could ever let his guard down when Jeon Jeongguk was in town.
“– so, what do you think? Will you meet him?” Mrs. Park was asking something to him, and Taehyung smiled as he half-listened to her words. Taehyung was sure he heard the bathroom door closing and Jimin was shifting in his seat next to Taehyung now, turning to look back at his entering brother.
“Mm-hmm” Taehyung’s response to Mrs. Park made her face light up like the Fourth of July and she excitedly clapped her hands together in glee and Taehyung’s eyes widened in a sudden panic as he realized that he had no idea what he’d just agreed to do.
–meet him–meet him–
Who was he meeting?
“What’s all this excitement about?” The amused expression on Jeongguk’s face as he took in his mother’s jovial attitude and outright celebration was beautiful and Taehyung forced his eyes down to examine the water glass that bubbled in front of his empty dinner plate.
“He said he’d meet him for a blind date. You know, Minjee’s nephew–” Taehyung’s eyes shot open wide as he watched the woman across the table from him explain what he had so foolishly agreed to.
“–He’s a successful lawyer with his firm and he’s just as busy as he is, but he’s looking to settle down with the right man–” Taehyung felt warmth beside him as Jeongguk sat down into the empty seat and rested his warm thigh against his knee.
“–you remember I told you about him.” Jeongguk was silent besides the older and after a pause that told Taehyung, he didn’t remember anything about the conversation he supposedly had with his mother he inhaled a quick breath and lied through his teeth.
“Oh yeah, right. Minjee’s nephew, right? The big shot lawyer–” Jeongguk quickly grabbed the lime from the edge of his glass of water and squeezed before dropping it inside with a plop. He shifted in his seat and he pulled his thigh away from Taehyung’s knee as he sat up straighter in his seat and took a deep drink of water.
“He’s super-hot, and he’s loaded. You’re lucky.” Taehyung heard Jimin whisper into his ear on the other side of him and he smiled a small nervous smile, laughing away the awkwardness building in the pit of his stomach of what he had just agreed to.
Mrs. Park loved blind dates and after trying unsuccessfully to set Taehyung up with many of her friends and relatives eligible bachelor sons, she would finally trick Taehyung into accepting a date due to his negligence. She was beaming and his stomach was churning. There was no way he could get out of this now. There had been too many witnesses when he agreed.
The doorbell rang and the sound echoed around the home, causing heads to look up in surprise.
The only one at the table who didn’t look confused at the sudden guest was Mrs. Park who looked suspiciously calm and quite pleased with herself.
“Oh good, she’s here–” she was pushing back from the table, an exciting aura waving around about her and she was leaving the dining room now as she headed quickly for the front door of the home.
“Jeongguk-ah, your date is here–” she said as she made her way past him and the bubbly water he was chugging must have hit the wrong pipe because he coughed, choked, and quickly put the glass down as he tried to clear his airway as noiselessly as possible.
“M-My what– Mom–” he was pushing back from the table and standing as he chased after his mom who was quickly making her way toward the door.
“Oh, you remember, I told you about her last night.”
“You mentioned a girl, but you never said anything about a date–”
“I didn’t? Oh well, she is here. Be nice.”
Jeongguk’s date was called Sana and she was young, gorgeous, wealthy, and intelligent. Everything one would expect from Mrs. Park’s matchmaking stills and after a bit of rearranging, Taehyung found himself seated on one side of the table beside Jeongguk who sat beside Sana, and Jimin grumbled from the other side of the table where he sat between both of his parents. The move put a frown on Jimin’s face since he couldn’t whisper all of the funny observations he had about the new girl into Taehyung’s ear during dinner.
Taehyung noticed as he sat, Jeongguk scooted his seat closer to him and just a bit further from Sana and Taehyung tried not to read into it. He just felt more comfortable with him than with the stranger beside him.
Dinner was awkward. Mrs. Park asked Sana questions and she answered them as best as she could, but anyone could see that she was nervous. Jeongguk didn’t exactly help much as he clammed up at the sudden new addition and answered every question in short phrases, many of which were a single word answer. By the end of the dinner, even Taehyung was frustrated by his lack of participation.
“So Jeongguk, what’s next on the schedule for your singing career?”
Jeongguk’s thigh that had been rested against the older’s leg was shaking up and down as he fidgeted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable now for most of the dinner and ready to go, Taehyung looked down at his half-eaten steak and wished he would stop shaking his leg like that. From the looks around the table, he was the only one who could feel it and it was beginning to make him seasick.
When Taehyung lowered his hand beneath the table to rest over his thigh Jeongguk flinched at the sudden touch and immediately stopped the shaking.
“Umm…I don’t remember. I just go where they tell me.” He picked up his wine glass and took a sip before he sat it down and his leg bobbed once more under Taehyung’s hand.
Taehyung squeezed down and he stilled his leg again as he bit down on his lip. Taehyung felt a shaking again and from the distance, he could tell that he was shaking the other leg now.
So, Taehyung moved his hand up higher, just a bit up Jeongguk’s thigh and the older felt the stillness in his body as he moved. Taehyung kept his eyes trained forward staring at Jimin who was glaring at the girl who had interrupted his sweet family dinner and caused all this awkwardness.
“Jeongguk–” Taehyung suddenly spoke up with his hand up higher on his thigh and he caught the side glance Jeongguk shot at him, refusing to turn and look at Taehyung directly now.
“I read something about a subunit? A rumor that you were going to be in it.” Taehyung looked at Jeongguk more directly, enjoying the look on his face now. There was a widening of his eyes and he turned to face him now.
“Oh! How exciting!” Mrs. Park perked up at this news, all smiles and hope in her face.
The truth was Taehyung hadn’t read it. Jeongguk had told him that a subunit was being discussed in which he would be a part of it, and they had been preparing for their performance. The younger told him this three weeks ago, the night before his last drunken phone call with Taehyung. The night he said those words that the older dwelled on for so long that they lost all meaning and he had convinced himself that he had simply said them by accident because Jeongguk was drunk.
“I’m not supposed to talk about rumors like that.” There was a glare in his eyes as they narrowed at him and Taehyung felt Jeongguk scolding him with those eyes that he would dare bring up something Jeongguk told him in confidence.
“Oh, come on, we’re family, aren’t we?” Mrs. Park said with a smile, hoping for the details about the collab.
“We aren’t all family,” Jimin spoke up from the other side of the table and Taehyung felt the shift as the attention of the room landed on Sana who sat silently on the other side of Jeongguk, awkward now at being called out. Taehyung moved his hand off of his thigh and ignored the shaking that started immediately when his hand was lifted.
Taehyung suddenly felt a wave of guilt. The poor girl had no reason to be scolded for being here. She was no doubt being forced into this by some parents of hers who couldn’t pass up the idea of having a wealthy successful idol as their son-in-law. From what Taehyung had heard of her she seemed to be quite a decent person.
So, he did the only thing he could think to do. Taehyung shifted the focus of the room away from Sana and brought it on himself.
“So, Mrs. Park…tell me more about this hot-shot lawyer I’m going to be dating–”
Heads turned at his sudden outburst and Taehyung heard what sounded like a relieved sigh from the other side of Jeongguk and the shaking leg next to him went completely still.
The reminder brought Mrs. Park to life and she dropped her knife and fork as she slapped her hands together in anticipation.
“OH! He’s very handsome dear, but how many times have to told you to call me Mom–” her nagging was comfortable and it made Taehyung smile and Jeongguk shook his head next to him and picked up his fork to roughly stab at a piece of steak and popped it into his mouth.
“–humanitarian works for the firm, awards, and achievements. Really handsome too, did I say that? And very successful. Anyway, his name is Park too! But we are from a different line of Park’s, not to worry. Park Seojoon – what a strong name–”
Taehyung felt a warm hand on his bare thigh that pulled his attention away from Mrs. Park’s rambling praises of his date and to Taehyung’s surprise, he didn’t even flinch.
Why he didn’t immediately swat his hand away Taehyung didn’t know, but his hand was moving over his skin slowly as he nodded and smiled across the table at the rivers of praises that flowed out about this man Taehyung didn’t yet know.
The more she talked, the higher Jeongguk’s hand went until his fingers grazed against the lace of his undergarments between his legs.
Taehyung instinctively closed his legs, clenching his thighs together and he felt his hand get trapped between his strong thighs for a moment before Jeongguk gripped the older’s inner thigh roughly and pulled against Taehyung’s muscles.
Taehyung was having trouble following the flow of the conversation, but his mind registered that Mrs. Park was still talking mostly by herself about the man who, if Taehyung was being completely honest with himself, sounded perfect for him. Much more than the man who sat beside him at this table slipping his fingers below the lace of his undergarments to tease against his core.
Taehyung breathing felt too fast for discretion as his desire for him to go deeper grew and when Taehyung’s legs parted for him, his hand disappeared suddenly. Taehyung heard him clear his throat next to him and Jeongguk was downing his wine with a concealed grin behind the glass. He had given in to him. Jeongguk was satisfied for now.
“Yes, dear?” Mrs. Park was looking at him and Taehyung’s face heated up when he realized he must have made a sound. He quickly recovered as best he could and smiled wide as his brain scrambled for words.
“H-He sounds…amazing. I’m looking forward to meeting him, Mom.”
“I think I’m done,” Jeongguk announced immediately after the older spoke and he was pushing away from the table. Taehyung watched as he turned to Sana, giving his back to him and he slowly extended his hand out to her.
The same hand that he had just been teasing him with, he now held out to her without a hint of trembling or uncertainty and she looked up at him from her seat in question, a small smile now on her face.
“Would you care to join me in the library for a drink Sana?”
Taehyung heard a noisy scoff from Jimin on the other side of the table and he tried to keep the burning off his cheeks as they both exited the dining room together, hands clasped as pulled her away into the room on the far end of the home where they weren’t likely to be disturbed as they got to know each other better.
Dinner was done and so was Taehyung by this point. He stood on shaking legs and made up an excuse as to why he had to go home. Work always fit the bill and when he stepped back into his apartment, he tried to ignore the weird tension that was building in his chest.
Would Jeongguk and Sana still be together? Sharing drinks and stories and pleasant conversation?
Would there be a kiss on the cheek? A sweet parting pat on the back or lingering hands brushed against her skin?
Would he take her home? Would he go inside with her and get to know her even better?
As the evening wore on and the dramas on TV failed to entertain him much, he felt himself drifting on the sofa to the sound of some home shopping program.
A soft sound broke Taehyung out of the daze of near sleep and he noticed his dog sat up at the sudden sound.
A knock at his door. No, two soft knocks.
The time on the clock read at 2 am.
It was 2 am and his feet were moving, carrying him to his front door to answer it.
–because Jeongguk was home and Taehyung was weak to him.
And Jeongguk knew it.