Chapter Text
Chapter 1- reassurances and reoccurrences
“I remember the first night that she said
‘Oh maybe I can do this on my own’
And despite all the reassurances and reoccurrences
You will not be alone”
It was horrible. After the incident.
The nightmares that plagued everyone’s consciousness. Mostly, Jeremy and Rich dreaded sleep, due to hearing the haunting sounds of the squip’s voice and remembering all the horrid things that they had done to themselves or other people.
Rich’s head was filled with terrors of destroying his sexuality, terrorizing Jeremy and Michael, his squip’s praise for how manly he was being, his father’s screeches, the broken beer bottles scattered across the floor, the squib instructing him to burn it, burn them all with your personality, the fire at Jake’s, Jake’s crumpled body, Michael’s firm yet quivering voice telling him what to do, the maddening sound of the squib, just there, screaming at him to be better, be more chill, be more chill.
It haunted him every night.
Jeremy’s head projected terror vastly different from Rich. Mostly, his prolonged desire for Christine being multiplied, his downward spiral of corruption, the squip’s flashes of lightning racing down his spine, the orders in the robotic tone that the squip had adopted, Michael’s face morphing into one of disgust and pain, Brooke’s sobbing face, being paralyzed while Chloe moved slowly up towards him and her appearance was peeled away slowly becoming the squip, and be more chill, Jeremy, be more chill .
Jeremy would wake up in a cold sweat with his blankets cascading over the sides of the bed. He would be freezing and burning at the same times. And all he could do was sob into his sweat covered pillow in attempts to try and smother the chorus of voices and memories in his mind.
The whole group of them took off a half a week after the incident.
Everyone but Rich, Jeremy, and Michael could come back from it.
Rich needed to heal in the hospital, as well as attend a huge amount of therapy to work out the whole turmoil in his mind as well as his body.
Jeremy needed rest and to heal up his internal wounds as well. He would attend therapy for a little because he promised Michael he would.
Michael put himself in charge of Jeremy and Rich, constantly visiting the both of them so that they didn’t feel alone. They needed a link to the outside world, and Michael would kindly be that link.
So, he attended very few classes, getting the notes from colleagues and his newly acquired friends . He made sure to stop by 7/11 every morning and then make his way to the hospital. He didn’t neglect his part-time job, due to needing to gas his car for all this new travel, but he didn’t clog up his schedule so that he could relax and enjoy his time with his best friend and former bully.
“Good morning, you two,” Michael hummed, walking into the bright, sterile hospital room. He had always hated the smell and feel of hospitals; it clung to your bones, pulling you slowly to the ground as you thought about all the new life being born while others rotted away to diseases or old age. But, he was slowly getting used to it, because every day he saw Jeremy’s soft smile and heard Rich’s gruff but gentle ‘Morning, Michael.’
“Morning, Michael,” Rich replied, looking over to the door. They had cut off his body cast after a couple of weeks and gave him smaller casts so that he was mobile. His loud and constant complaints had driven the whole staff crazy, so when they knew he was good enough to move, they went through with the procedure. It went off without a hitch, and even though Rich still complained, he was a lot more polite and kind towards the staff and visitors.
“Hey, Michael,” Jeremy stated from the bed closest to the door. The bags under his eyes were pretty deep and he looked a little ghastly at this point. Michael knew Jeremy wasn’t sleeping well, but he couldn’t do anything about it except nag Jeremy about it. “Did you bring the stuff?”
“Of course, my dude,” Michael smiled, putting a front to cheer up the two bedridden patients. Michael pulled up his usual stool between the two beds and set his backpack on his lap. He tugged out a laptop, a charging cord, three controllers, two Slurpees in unmarked styrofoam cups, a pair of magazines, a thick book, and Jeremy’s favorite cardigan. He set both the laptop and charger on the foot of Jeremy’s bed, as well as the large book and controllers. He tossed the two magazines to Rich, and after looking through the top of the cups into the Slurpees, he gave one to each of them.
When he pulled out Jeremy’s cardigan, Jeremy’s eyes lit up in the best way that Michael wondered if the room had gotten brighter just from the intense blue orbs. “You got it!” Jeremy’s exclamation was childlike and caused Michael to laugh slightly.
“Of course I got it,” Michael shrugged, handing off the soft sweater-like material to Jeremy. “Even though your dad’s gone all the time, I still know your garage code.”
“Oh my God,” Jeremy quickly slipped it on, juggling his Slurpee in his hands as he did. “Michael, you are the best person ever. I owe you one.”
“So do I,” Rich chimed, browsing a magazine as he sipped on his drink. “God, I never knew sugar water could taste this good. I keep forgetting since you don’t bring us one every day.”
“Hey, I’m not made of money,” Michael shrugged, zipping up his empty bag and shoving it under Jeremy’s bed. “I can only afford two larges for you two every week.”
“Thank you so much, Michael,” Jeremy said. He made eye contact with Michael, giving him a genuine tender look. Michael’s insides melted and he almost felt dizzy by such a caring stare.
“Dude, it really isn’t a problem,” Michael replied. He cracked open the laptop and started looking for the application he needed. “I’m missing school to play video games with my two buddies. You would do the same thing.”
“I wouldn’t,” Rich retorted. “I’m jealous that Jeremy got to have you as a friend for what, 12 years? The coolest thing is that you’re also bringing me stuff. Like, if I were in your position, I would be only getting shit to Jeremy.”
“I feel like that’s a little shitty,” Michael shrugged, once again.
“Hey, when did I ever say I wasn’t anything but a little shit?” Rich pointed out.
Jeremy and Michael chuckled at that.
“Don’t laugh at that, you two,” Rich stated, jokingly. “You’re both tall as fuck.”
“Eh,” Jeremy argued with mumble and shake of his head.
“I’d like to agree with Jeremy, but he’s half an inch taller than me, which drives me insane,” Michael’s soft tapping on the keyboard filled the room under his voice.
“ Michael ,” Jeremy groaned, rolling his eyes. The reaction caused Rich to snort and Michael to shrug again.
“What can I say, I’m like Miley Cyrus,” Michael hummed.
“Elaborate,” Jeremy replied, while Rich and he both had faces of confusion.
“ I can’t be tamed ,” Michael stated, grabbing a controller.
Rich and Jeremy both groaned in response to Michael’s one-liner. And then, the conversation lapsed into silence for a moment, the only sound in the room being the crinkling of paper, tapping, and sipping.
“Hey, Michael,” Jeremy’s voice was small, barely threatening to break the silence between them.
“Hm?” Michael acknowledged Jeremy with a simple noise, as he set up another controller.
“I really do owe you a lot,” Jeremy stated.
“No, you don’t. It’s just what friends do.”
“Michael, I’m serious. I treated you like you were nothing, and yet you still saved me despite how bad of a friend I was. And here you are, pampering us and I can’t do anything. So, what do I owe you?”
“I don’t like repeating myself, J. You don’t owe me anythin-”
“I don’t either. So, what do I owe you?”
Michael sighed, hating how persistent Jeremy could be when he wanted something. “How about you owe me a round of Rainbow Road on Mario Kart?” Michael said, handing a controller to Jeremy with a weary look in his eyes.
Jeremy looked up at Michael, slightly peeved, but after a long pause of the two staring at each other, he took the controller from the other’s hands. “Okay, but you’re getting creamed.”
Michael smiled as Rich chuckled from the other bed. “Rich, you joining?” Michael inquired, holding out a controller for him as well. Even though Rich had casts on his arms, limiting his finger/hand movements, he could play video games surprisingly well.
Rich had said it was because he was used to playing with casts. Neither Jeremy nor Michael asked why due to Rich’s somber tone fused within his answer.
“Aw hell yeah,” Rich’s face broke out into a huge grin. He set his magazines aside and practically ripped the controller out of Michael’s hands.
Michael smiled at Rich’s enthusiasm and pulled up another chair to the foot of the beds. He gripped the last controller, moved the laptop onto the new chair and settled down on his stool. Being player 1, he was able to control the race and what they were doing.
“You’re picking Toad?” Jeremy asked while they were in character selection.
“What? You’re picking Luigi,” Rich retorted.
“You just don’t seem like a Toad guy,” Jeremy replied.
“You seem like a total Luigi guy,” Rich said. “But, I would’ve thought Michael would be Mario.”
“Oh, hell no,” Michael responded. “Waluigi is my boyfriend and I would choose no one else.”
“He’s also in it for the memes,” Jeremy added.
“Okay, shut it, J,” Michael grumbled as Rich chuckled.
He selected Rainbow Road and felt his thumbs twiddle with anticipation. There was suddenly a tiny murmur of adrenaline coursing through the veins of the the three boys.
“Get ready to eat my dust, losers,” Michael stated as the countdown started.
3…
“You’ll be getting a taste of your own medicine,” Jeremy retorted, his thumb hovering over the gas button.
2…
There was a chorus of buttons being pushed and Rich said, “I definitely got the boost!”
1..
“Yeah, right!” Jeremy and Michael replied, secretly jealous of Rich’s luck.
Go!
“Damn it!” Rich yelled, slapping his controller down on the bed. “How are you so good?!”
“Um, I’m player one,” Michael stated, still focused on the game. “I don’t fuck around, man.”
“Oh, yay, I fell again, ” Jeremy muttered snarkily. “Can we change the course for the last game? I literally hate Rainbow Road even more now.”
“FIRST!” Michael yelped, jumping up in glee. “WAH! Suck my dick!”
“How the fuck-?” Rich grumbled. He had to pick back up his controller
“I’m just so close to the finish line!” Jeremy complained with a whining tone. “Please, please, please! Oh my God . Come on, Luigi. Go faster!”
“I’m contemplating just jumping off the side in different ways for the rest of the race,” Rich growled.
“You want me to try and get you something better than twelfth?” Michael inquired, holding out his hand for the controller.
Rich looked at Michael, then looked at his controller. He debated it for a second while Jeremy screamed, “Come on!” after getting hit by a green shell.
“Why not?” Rich shrugged, “I gave up anyway.” He set the controller in Michael's hands and then immediately Michael was off.
“Rich, why would you do that?” Jeremy groaned. “He now has another way to beat me!”
“But, you’re in like, seventh?” Rich asked. “And he’s in twelfth.”
“Not for long,” Michael muttered, acquiring a Bullet Bill. “And yeah, I’m still gonna beat you, J.”
“I swear, Michael Mell,” Jeremy threatened. “If you bea- shit! ”
Michael snorted.
“Okay, what the hell,” Rich commented. “You were in last place five seconds ago, how are you already in tenth?!?”
“Like I said,” Michael hummed. “ I’m player one .”
Jeremy just gritted his teeth and sped up.
“Oh my God !” Rich yelped. “Ninth!”
Jeremy stole a quick glance over to Michael on his left. Michael was in deep concentration mode, with his lips secure in his teeth and eyes glued to the small computer screen. His glasses had slipped downwards, yet he didn’t seem to notice. It was adorable, in a sense.
“Eighth!”
“I’m on your tail, Heere,” Michael jabbed at Jeremy.
“I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with,” Jeremy replied, hitting an item box. He smirked when he got exactly what he needed, a golden toad. He jetted forward, almost falling off the edge a multitude of times, but he passed a CPU.
“Oh shit! ” Rich exclaimed. “Jeremy retaliates!”
Michael went quiet as Jeremy grinned in victory. What could he say, he was graceful under pressure. When it came to video games.
“But, Michael’s catching up!” Rich informed, causing the slight victory in Jeremy’s chest to disintegrate. “Aaaaaaaand he’s in seventh!”
The finish line was in sight. Jeremy just had to finish and leave Michael in the dust. It was that simple. “Come on, come on, come on-”
“Michael’s gaining on him!” Rich had suddenly adopted an announcer's voice.
Jeremy frowned when he saw Toad slowly slide up the screen to be beside him.
“They are neck and neck, folks! And only just a few moments from the finish line!”
Michael bumped into Jeremy, which caused Jeremy to curse under his breath and bump Michael back.
“Michael’s starting to edge forward! No, now it’s Jeremy! No, now Michael! Jeremy! Michael! Aaaand-”
They flashed through the line. Jeremy looked towards the numbers at the bottom of each screen.
“Swiss fucking cheese! God damn it!” Jeremy groaned, causing Michael to chuckle.
“MICHAEL WON!!” Rich boomed, cheering with his arms in the air.
“Here’s your controller back, bud,” Michael handed the controller over the Rich, who grabbed it enthusiastically.
“I’m literally so happy that I didn’t come in last place again,” Rich stated with his smile beaming.
“Hey, J,” Michael hummed. “GG.” He held out a fist towards Jeremy.
Jeremy sighed and fist-bumped Michael back. “GG, player one. GG.”
They played one last race after that, surprisingly not in Rainbow Road, but instead in Moo Moo Meadows. The three of them lined up perfectly at the end with Michael getting first, Jeremy getting second and Rich getting third.
The final totals had Michael in first, Jeremy ended in sixth, and Rich finished in tenth. Rich had shouted in joy at not being in last place, which caused Michael and Jeremy to laugh and cheer along. They ended the game and started “quiet time”.
Jeremy had started the whole thing due to Michael coming in and slightly complaining about how much school work he was missing, which caused Jeremy to panic. He didn’t want to hold Michael back from academics and never wanted to harm Michael’s grades. So, Jeremy forced Michael to work on his homework for at least an hour while Rich and Jeremy would either read or take naps. If anyone talked about some issue that wasn’t an emergency, “quiet time” would receive an additional thirty minutes.
Michael set aside the controllers, placing them back into his bag. He closed out of the gaming application on his computer and pulled up some document that held notes from a lecture in a class that he had. Jeremy leaned for his book, his fingers missing the book at first and then finally latching onto the thick object. Rich opened up his magazines, the noise of crinkling paper indicating the action.
Jeremy opened his book to the first page with the sounds of a tapping keyboard and occasional rumpling of papers as his background noise.
He got through the first chapter before he started to feel a little tired. His eyes started to shut slightly, but he blinked himself awake. He tried to read, but suddenly the words were really blurry and borin-
Jeremy yawned, interrupting his thoughts. He blinked to get the tears out of his eyes before he started to read again. But, now he knew he was nodding off. His head was starting to fall
and his eyes felt so
heavy and
sleep
sounded
really
nice
He was out in a second.
Michael looked up for a brief second to check on the others in the room and almost burst out into laughter. Jeremy, the geek of the century, had passed out while reading a book .
He set his computer on the side of the bed, slightly shutting it, and stood up. He slowly moved the book out of Jeremy’s lifeless hands and then rearranged the pillows behind him. Michael tilted the bed back a little before moving Jeremy’s head back into the sea of pillows behind him. Once Jeremy’s neck didn’t look like it was at an awkward angle, Michael left him alone, knowing full well that the boy needed sleep.
“Hey, Michael,” Rich stated in a soft voice.
Michael turned to look at Rich. “What’s up?”
“Um, how do I say this?”
Michael cocked an eyebrow. Rich looked nervous like he was about to confess his love or something. Wait, was he confessing his love? They didn’t even know each other and how could Michael let him down easy and not get beat up?
“I know you’re, like, only here for Jeremy and shit. Which I guess is why I’m so thankful for you including me in all your video games and whatnot, but, I, um,-”
Shit, shit, shit, shit. Um, sorry Rich, I’m straight? But, I’m not straight. I’m very gay. Does he know that? I don’t think so…..unless-
“I know Jeremy doesn’t owe you anything since he’s, like, your best friend. But, I bullied you guys for a year and yet, you’ve helped me so much, even though I’ve been a complete asshole. So, I wanted to ask-”
I don’t date guys? But, I do. Just not you. No, that’s way too harsh. Maybe I could accept a date and then tell him that he’s not my type while on it.
“What do I owe you?”
Michael felt his insides relax instantly with relief.
“Because I really feel like I owe you a bunch and I don’t know how to pay you back for all the helpful shit you’ve done. And, I really hate feeling like I owe people shit.”
“It’s fine, Rich,” Michael shrugged, sitting back down, but keeping himself turned towards the other boy.
“No, it’s not.” Rich looked conflicted, almost sad.
It hurt Michael’s heart. “Please, you don’t need to worry about it.”
“I do! You’ve done so much for me, and I didn’t even need to, like, beg you or anything. You just did things and invited me into your friendship thing with Jeremy without thinking, and honestly, I wouldn’t do that shit for someone who insulted me and treated me like trash for, like, a year of my life. You’re just being so nice to me and you don’t have any reason to.”
“I do, though.”
“And what could that be?”
“We’re all just humans, Rich. And we should treat each other with respect and kindness. Because if we don’t, it will only get worse.”
Rich fell silent and stared down at the bed.
“You’ve went through a lot and I don’t mind helping people out. Besides, to quote High School Musical, ‘We’re all in this together’.” Michael paused, biting his lip. “You don’t have to go through all of this on your own.”
Rich stayed quiet for a moment before tears started to fall.
“Oh, shit !” Michael exclaimed standing and moving to be beside Rich’s bed. “I’m sorry! Did I say something wrong or-”
“No,” Rich sniffed, looking up at Michael with large tears in his eyes. “That’s just the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
Michael was taken aback and lapsed into a small silence. The nicest thing?
“Sorry,” Rich apologized, trying to wipe tears away. “It’s just-I don’t know. While I had a squip, people didn’t look at me like I was another person. They looked up to me, I guess. And I felt like I was better than them, yet so much worse because I had a hack that no one else had. I just didn’t feel human after a while and to hear that from you-” Rich paused to sniff and blink. “I just-it makes me feel normal. Even though nothing about this is normal.”
“I get it,” Michael nodded, slightly understanding what Rich was explaining.
“Sorry, I’m just emotional, I guess. Jesus, I must look so pathetic to you right now.”
“No, believe me, I’ve done my fair share of crying and I think it’s better for you to let it out now.”
“Aha,” Rich gave Michael a small smile, even though tears were streaming from his eyes still. “You’re such a good person.”
“I’m inclined to disagree with you there,” Michael replied.
Rich gave Michael a look of disbelief.
“I was a really, really shitty person when I was young,” Michael stated. “Like, I was a brat . And no one wanted to be around me. One time, I hit my mom and called her a bitch after she got me a really expensive controller, just because I didn’t like the color.”
Rich shook his head. “You’re lying.”
“I’m not! I swear! My mom sat me down and grounded me. She told me that I was privileged to be able to receive such a gift and that I should be thankful. She, also, banned me from video games and TV for two weeks. I was forced to read books and talk with my family, and then I think that’s when I realized that I really shouldn’t be such a piece of shit.”
“Thanks, Michael’s mom.”
“Yeah, she’s pretty sweet.”
Rich sniffed again, his tears starting to clear up. “Thanks, dude. Sorry for that whole breakdown thing. I normally do that shit alone.”
“Me too. I’ve gotten plenty of panic attacks in public settings, so, I understand that you just kinda gotta let it out.” Michael internally punched himself. He just confessed to his high school bully that he has anxiety. Michael hopes karma will swing his way and hopefully, he doesn’t end up mortified in front of the whole school.
“Yeah,” Rich replied. “I’m, um, gonna take a page out of Jeremy’s book and nap, I guess.”
Michael’s eyes lit up. “Was that intentional?”
“Uh, what?”
“That pun. A page out of Jeremy’s book. Jeremy was reading a book when he fell asleep.”
“Oh my God.” Rich facepalmed while Michael burst out into giggles.
“That is the best unintentional thing I have ever heard,” Michael struggled to say in between his laughing fit.
“You guys are rubbing off on me,” Rich groaned as he moved down in his bed. “I hate everything.”
“You didn’t even mean to make the pun and you did!” Michael stated, still laughing. “That’s insane! You’re a pun genius and you didn’t even mean to be!”
“Night, Michael.” Rich threw the covers over him and turned his head away from Michael’s shaking form.
“Your puns are really…. rich .”
“Fuck you, Mell.”
“Well, I don’t know you that well, but if you do give me a good price-”
“I swear to anything that holy, I will smite you, Michael Mell, if you continue that sentence.”
“Alright, alright,” Michael was still beaming when he sat back down on his stool and pulled his computer back up.
It was quiet for a beat before Michael shattered it by asking, “Hey, Rich, do you really want to pay me back?”
“Yeah,” Rich responded, turning his head to look at Michael.
“Pay Jeremy two hundred dollars,” Michael demanded. “I know you ran a cost of six hundred for a squip, but Jeremy paid four hundred. So, I’m asking for half of the price.” Michael stopped, hoping his reasoning was suitable. “If you hadn’t introduced him to all to squip shit, this wouldn’t have happened, so you owe him more than you owe me.” Michael paused again, his eyes fixating on the keys of his computer. “You don’t have to pay him all at once or in one big sum, just make sure he gets two hundred dollars at some point.”
“Okay,” Rich nodded.
“Are you sure?” Michael looked up. “Because I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or like it’s impossible. I could lower the money-”
“Michael,” Rich interrupted. “It’s fine. Two hundred is completely doable. I’ll make sure Jeremy is paid.” Rich smirked, causing Michael to feel a small amount of tension release. “Thanks again. Now, night.”
“Night,” Michael replied, focusing back down on his computer.
Rich was snoring after a few minutes, not being loud enough to stop Michael’s work.
Michael closed his laptop, propped his glasses atop his head, and rubbed his eyes. He grumbled a little, trying to wake himself up. He had gotten a lot done and most likely wouldn’t have a huge amount of homework to do, as if he would actually do it.
“You alive?” Jeremy’s soft voice called out.
“J!” Michael exclaimed, blinking rapidly and looking towards the bed. “You’re awake.”
“I’ve been awake,” Jeremy hummed with a small smirk. His book was in his hands as he looked towards Michael.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I wasn’t doing anything really important.”
Jeremy retaliated Michael’s statement with a stern look. “You were doing schoolwork.”
“Eh,” Michael shrugged.
“ Michael .” Jeremy’s tone made Michael have a devious smile.
“You sound just like a dad,” Michael stated, putting his laptop away.
Jeremy folded his arms and gave Michael another disappointed look.
“Alright, dad ,” Michael shrugged while he out pulled out his phone and a bundle of earbuds. Michael abruptly halted, looking up and at Jeremy. “Make a daddy joke, please.”
“Michael, no ,” Jeremy groaned, shaking his head.
“Michael, yes . And Jeremy, yes! ”
Jeremy just sighed and opened his book back up.
“Dude, I set you up perfectly for it, come on.”
“I’m not entertaining your daddy kink, Michael.”
“Alright. Shut your dickhole, Jeremy. You are actually a furry, so don’t start.”
“I AM NOT A FURRY.” Jeremy slammed his book beside him, glaring at Michael as his skin turned into a soft red.
“Cool your jets,” Michael managed to gasp out in between quiet laughter. “Rich is trying to sleep.”
“I’m not a furry,” Jeremy repeated, a lot calmer than the last time.
“You’re still blushing and I’m always right, so we both know where the truth lies.”
Jeremy huffed and folded his arms once again, his eyes darting away from Michael’s form.
Michael started untangling the wires of earbuds and hummed to himself. He was about halfway through the song when Jeremy asked, “Why do you need earbuds? You have headphones right on your person.”
“Um, because I thought we could kick back and watch some killer youtube videos together,” Michael replied, focusing back on the never-ending problem at hand. Jesus, would these things ever just fucking untangle?
“Oh,” Jeremy’s interest looked peaked as his eyebrows shot up with his statement.
“You’ve been missing out on some really good Achievement Hunter shit.” Michael tugged on an earbud and all he did was tighten some knot. “The new GTA stuff and Shenanigans are hilarious. We should watch a compilation or something, even though those are like hours long.”
“You’re all caught up?”
“Um, of course?” Michael frowned when he pulled on a wire and it ended up snagging onto another knot. “I’m going to watch the boring videos and inform you of the quality content.”
“But, what if I want to watch the boring videos?”
“Um, go do it on your own time? Do it later? I am not having another Uno the Movie night with you.”
Jeremy chuckled at that. “Uno the Movie was amazing and you loved it.”
“The ending was hilarious, but God it was long.”
“That’s why it’s a movie.”
Michael yanked on a different wire, and he ended up with the same conclusion. “I am done. I give up. These headphones have bested me.”
“Give them here,” Jeremy offered his hand. “Maybe I can untangle them.”
Michael handed over the twisted mess in his hands, that he most likely only made worse, and watched Jeremy inspect it. Jeremy then plucked cautiously at the wires, slowly drawing each one that he chose out. After a few moments of silence and careful movements, the headphones unfolded perfectly.
“How?” Michael asked in awe of Jeremy’s ability.
“I’m headphone untangle man,” Jeremy remarked, smiling as he handed Michael the earbuds.
“I mean, you are exactly like a noodle, so you should be in sync with all things like them.” Michael plugged in the newly unraveled headphones and opened up his youtube app. “So, what do you want to watch? Off Topic, Schooled season 2, Shenanigans, Jeremy kicking Gavin’s desk in half-?”
“Jeremy did what ?!” Jeremy’s bewildered tone instantly notified Michael of the video they were watching.
“He ax kicked Gavin’s desk and wooo boy.” Michael scooted his stool to Jeremy’s side. Leaning over the bed’s bars, he offered an earbud to Jeremy. “You wanna see what happened?”
“ Yes .” Jeremy quickly swiped the earbud and set it in his ear. He leaned over slightly to watch with hungry eyes what was on Michael’s phone.
( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edvpnfvmEYU )
They watched the video for a few seconds before Jeremy interrupted, “Wait, pause it.”
Michael complied and looked over at Jeremy. “What’s up?”
“This is such an uncomfortable position,” Jeremy stated, slipping the earphone out of his ear and shuffling away from Michael. After a few slow scoots, he patted the empty space and looked at Michael. “Get on up here.”
“Jeremy,” Michael started, his stomach suddenly becoming uneasy.
“Get up here,” Jeremy’s tone became more demanding. “I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“That’s really gay, J.” Michael was still hesitant, Jeremy still didn't know .
“No homo, but get your ass into my hospital bed so we can watch youtube videos together.”
“Now, I can’t argue against no homo.” Michael hopped into the bed, being careful and making sure that he didn't crush Jeremy by accidentally sitting on him. He lowered himself into the space, staying close the bars around the bed. Once Michael was situated to a position, Jeremy moved closer and put back in the earphone.
“Alright, you can start it again,” Jeremy hummed. He ended up leaning into Michael, his head resting softly on Michael’s shoulder. Michael’s stomach fluttered and he tried to calm his erratic breathing.
This was not expected. Never in a million years would Michael ever picture Jeremy, a very Straight™, curled into his shoulder in a hospital bed while Rich Goranski, their past bully, was napping only a few steps away.
“That desk is going to get hammered ,” Jeremy’s small comment pulled Michael out of his overactive mind and back to the video at hand. “If Gavin can barely stand on it….”
“ If you go through, I’ll catch this.”
“He’s not gonna catch it, will he?” Jeremy’s voice sounded less like a question and more like a statement.
“No spoilers,” Michael replied, wanting to shrug but he didn’t want to disrupt Jeremy’s position.
“ It won’t go through. It’s not gonna go through.”
“This is a blanket-”
Little J’s foot connected to the desk and everything crashed to the ground.
“He didn’t catch it!” Jeremy groaned, visibly frustrated.
Michael just chuckled and slid down to make Jeremy a little more comfortable. Jeremy curled into Michael’s side, his head ending up on Michael’s chest. Michael’s right arm had been officially restricted and all he could was prop up his phone an insignificant amount. And though his view was obstructed by Jeremy’s soft brown curls, Michael didn’t want to move or mess up the position that they had created.
“Here, gimme that,” Jeremy’s hand brushed against Michael’s right hand.
Michael almost dropped the phone.
“Dude, your arm is going to fall asleep if you keep it like this.”
Michael can’t help but agree. He let Jeremy take his phone, handing it off with cautious hands. He then snaked his arm out from between them and hesitated on where to put it next. Around Jeremy? No, that would be way too gay. Um, maybe fold it and rest it under his neck? That would probably make it fall asleep faster. Michael just ended up setting it straight out across the pillows.
“Oh my God, ” Jeremy laughed. “Michael sounds like a dad. He’s so calm and then- aha !”
“You aren’t wrong,” Michael smirked.
The video finished with Jeremy and Michael snickering together at the end.
“Also, Jeremy is amazing and I love him,” Jeremy stated, clicking on another video.
“Only because he has your name,” Michael jokingly argued.
“Well, you like Michael.”
“Yeah, but you know who my favorite is.”
“I never said Jeremy was my favorite.”
“Oo, you got me there.”
Jeremy chuckled and then continued watching the new video. “We’re watching all the Shenanigans and you can’t tell me no.”
Michael exhaled, rolling his eyes. “Just make sure we’re starting at number one.”
They fell silent due to them being drawn into the video.
( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euwwOobEgRE )
“Oh God,” Jeremy groaned, burying his face into Michael’s side. Michael only laughed.
“Man, I miss Ray,” he remarked with a grin plastered on his face.
“Me too.” Jeremy continued to stay bunched in Michael’s form, only turning his head slightly. “But, I’m glad that he’s doing what he loves.”
“He’s bringing in bank, so fucking live your life, Narvaez.”
Michael felt Jeremy smirk through his sweatshirt.
Michael’s heart and stomach were filled with fluttering butterflies.
Damn it, Jeremy Heere. You are going to kill me if you keep this up.
“Michael, wake up.”
Jeremy shook Michael’s arm, trying to get him awake.
“Mmmm?” Michael moaned, curling in on himself and rubbing his eyes.
“You fell asleep,” Jeremy stated. He had already wrapped Michael’s earphones up and his phone was at a mediocre 41%, but it was better than being dead. Jeremy grabbed Michael’s glasses which he had taken off after he realized Michael was out cold. “And you have to get to work.”
“Work..work...work…” Michael hummed, over and over, blinking his eyes to try and get used to the light. “Work…..WORK!” Michael sprung up, leaping over the side of the bed.
The noise woke up Rich, who mumbled something before starting to stretch.
“What time is it? Am I gonna be late? Where are my glasses?” Michael spouted, suddenly awake. “Probably answer the latter first.”
“Well, here’s your glasses,” Jeremy replied, holding them out. “It’s 4:53 pm and it takes you about 20 minutes to get to work from here, so you’ll be early if you leave now for your 5:30 shift.”
Michael ripped his glasses away from Jeremy and slid them on. “Oh my God , can I marry you?” Jeremy held out Michael’s phone and earbuds, Michael grabbing them and shoving them into his bag. “You are literally an angel and you are the best.”
“It’s no big deal.” Jeremy felt his insides lift. “Now, go bring in that paper.”
“Gotta do it since I’m your sugar daddy,” Michael commented, checking his bag for everything. “I’ll be back tomorrow! Maybe I’ll have a special someone for a sleepy boy.”
“Hnn?” Rich’s audible mutter displayed his interest. “Who?”
“Well, that’s a secret. Bye, guys!” Michael zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He quickly hugged Jeremy, and in a flash, he was out of the room.
“He’s awesome,” Rich said.
“Yeah,” Jeremy smiled, looking at the closed door that Michael exited from.
“You’re so lucky,” Rich muttered, turning in his bed.
“Yeah.”
“You really care about him, don’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Dude, thank you so much,” Jake’s voice was filled with excitement.
“It’s no big deal, man,” Michael responded, a hand on the wheel of his car. He gave a quick glance in the rear-view mirror and saw Jake looking out the window enthusiastically. Since it was the weekend, Michael had volunteered to bring people up to see Jeremy and Rich. Jake had practically thrown himself at Michael to go see Rich, especially since he couldn’t drive due to his legs. Michael didn’t mind taking Jake up one bit; Jake had never actually bullied him or Jeremy or anyone for that matter. He had gotten popular due to him just having a nice smile, soft personality and a killer jawline (also, maybe he was a little infamous due to a number of girls he’d had sex with). And though he wasn’t the sharpest knife if the cupboard, he had a good head on his shoulders.
Michael actually liked Jake; when they worked together on a reading project, Jake helped in any way that he could and didn’t mind talking to him outside of class. Michael had to admit, he had a small crush on Jake freshman year, but he quickly got over it seeing how unattainable it was.
“So, how much should I pay you for gas money?” Jake asked.
“Jake, my man,” Michael replied. “You seriously don’t have to pay me anything. I was going up to the hospital anyway.”
“But, you’ve been taking care of Rich for me. And that’s, like, my job as best friend.”
“Really, it isn’t that big of a deal. It’s nice getting to know Rich and all. He’s cool. And besides, you’re still healing. You should be resting and trying to get schoolwork done.”
“You’re way too nice, dude. Like, I still remember you doing a bunch of work for our reading project back in the day. I felt like I didn’t do anything compared to you, but I was so grateful for how much effort you put into it.”
“You still remember that?!?”
“Of course!” Jake’s laugh was small and contained. “We were studying Of Mice and Men and you were the only one who knew the ending! How could I forget the day everyone was screaming when George killed Lennie and you just sat there shrugging.”
Michael chuckled, remembering. “Didn’t Madeline cry?”
“Yeah! And I was pissed ! It was so uncalled for!”
“Well, no it wasn’t. The whole reason behind him dying was because he was getting a humane and peaceful death instead of being beaten and killed by Curley and the farmhands or getting taken to a mental hospital due to his obvious mental illness. Letting him die was something that had to happen within the novel, and it provided a good conclusion for the end.”
Jake was quiet until he said, “You actually remembered all that shit?”
“I had to memorize every single presentation I was given, even if I could hold a script,” Michael explained. Due to my crippling social anxiety .
“Holy shit !” Jake yelled, surprising Michael. Michael was happy that he didn’t knock the steering wheel and send them to a spinning grave. “I knew you were a nerd but like, you’re an awesome...nerd.”
“Should I take that as a compliment?”
“Yes! Dude, are you good at, like, physics? Because that class is kicking my ass and I need help.”
“I mean, I can probably help you a little. I took it last year.”
“You’re amazing , man.”
“I guess.”
“Seriously. I’m sorry I never got to know you and I regret that. You’ve been nothing but cool. I guess Jeremy’s pretty lucky to have you.”
“Not really.” Michael’s stomach flipped a little at the latter statement. “He’s done a lot for me, so I’m just paying him back.”
“Still. You’re pretty tight, dude.” Jake paused, his eye was caught by something out of the window. “And I guess we all owe you for saving us from the….things.”
“You don’t, really. I….It was more selfish of me than anything. I really only wanted to save Jeremy, I guess.”
“But, you saved us all , which is so awesome .”
“Yeah,” Michael whispered, smiling to himself. “I guess it is.”
It was silent after that, only the soft sounds of music from the radio could be heard. Michael continued to drive as his mind stirred with huge thoughts, mostly thinking about what Jake had made clear. He had “saved” them from the whole squip thing with him bringing his Mountain Dew Red and all. He had done it to save Jeremy and indirectly helped the whole lot of them. Which was weird.
Michael wasn’t a hero or protagonist. He had often viewed himself as a sidekick. He was the hero’s best friend that psyched him up when they went to the final battle. He was the guy that would help the hero get home after they were drunk or high and help when the hero was on his last leg by throwing them a healing item. He was the one who played comic relief by making shitty jokes or questioning the villain. He was the goofy-faced one that looked like he came straight out of an old Disney cartoon.
He wasn’t the crazy built hero that had a jawline like a blade or chest hair that burst from his clothes. He didn’t have the butt chin or the meaty voice to exclaim, “I shall save the princess!”. He wasn’t suave or perfect or handsome.
He was nerdy, pudgy, and anxious. With glasses thicker than textbooks.
He wasn’t Superman or Batman or Ironman or even Deadpool.
He was Michael Mell. A teenaged bag of anxiety, poor eyesight, drugs, and gaming. He had a pac-man tattoo and a sweatshirt full of patches that he thought was cool.
But, in a sense, maybe he had actually saved the day.
“We’re here!” Jake exclaimed when Michael pulled into a parking spot. “I can’t wait to see Rich and tell him all about what’s going on at school.”
Michael locked the car behind them as they walked in, Jake still spouting stuff about what he was going to tell Rich as he moved along on his crutches. They entered the hospital and headed to the front desk.
“Hey, Michael,” a receptionist greeted when the two were close to the desk. “The two are still in their room.”
“I have a keycard I gotta deliver as well,” Michael stated, holding up a card.
“I can take it to her office for you.” Michael handed over the rectangular keycard over to her.
“Thank you, Mrs. Wendelken,” Michael replied. “Have a good day!”
“You too, Michael.” The woman smiled as Michael and Jake walked to the elevator.
“Dude, do you know her?” Jake asked, surprise in his tone.
“Of course, I know the whole staff,” Michael responded. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Michael let Jake hop in first before stepping in and clicking their floor number.
“How? Are you here that often?”
Michael chuckled. “Well, yes and no. I knew most of the staff before.”
“Dude, you are a mystery.”
“I like to keep it that way.”
The elevator dinged again as they stopped moving and the doors opened up. They passed by nurse station, which was bustling with different people. Michael and Jake hobbled on by, moving down the hallway past a lot of doors. Jake looked all around them taking in the place, while Michael walked on by.
They stopped at an open door. “I’ll go in first and prep Rich,” Michael said. “You can hang back here until I introduce you.”
Jake nodded, a large grin breaking out on his face.
Michael headed through the door. “Good morning, you two.”
“Michael!” Jeremy proclaimed.
“Morning, Michael,” Rich huffed from his bed. “You’re late.”
“I was picking up the surprise guest,” Michael shrugged, looking over towards Jeremy’s bed.
And there beside Jeremy was Christine Canigula.
“Good morning, Michael,” she beamed, her voice way too perky for a weekend morning.
“Hey, Christine,” Michael replied. “I didn’t see you there.” He didn’t like how his stomach fell and his heart ached. Christine Canigula. Jeremy’s uber crush that he had obtained during the second semester of freshman year.
The girl he could never compete with.
“I was just checking in on everyone,” she informed. “And I wanted to make sure Jeremy and Rich were doing okay after all of the stuff that happened. Today was really the only day I could do it because my mom’s not working so I have her car.”
“You can always ride up with me if you don’t have a car or anything,” Michael offered. “Besides, I’m up here every day.” If he could get Christine up here more often, that means Jeremy might be securing a date to their winter formal or as Jeremy’s dad called it ‘Sadie Hawkins Dance’. Then, Jeremy wouldn’t have to worry about asking her out, due to her having to ask him.
Jeremy Heere goes to a dance with the girl that he’s always wanted.
And sure, Michael will be at home all alone probably getting high, but he wouldn’t be going to the stupid dance anyway.
Michael almost missed Jeremy’s startled look.
“Really? I might have to take you up on that offer,” Christine replied, scratching her neck.
“Yeah, I’m offering it to anyone who needs it,” Michael stated. “Which reminds me, Rich-”
“Huh?” Rich made a noise, looking interested.
“There’s someone who came specifically for you,” Michael smiled. “May the special guest make themselves known.” Michael motioned to the door.
“JAKEY D?!” Rich yelled as Jake hopped in the room.
“Richy Rich!” Jake responded.
“Oh my GOD! Michael!” Rich was absolutely beaming, his smile brightening the whole room with the intensity.
Jake moved over to Rich’s bed and Michael moved a chair over with him. “Don’t thank me,” Michael stated. “He was the one who forced me to drive him here to see you.”
“I’d hug you,” Rich informed. “But, I can’t move that well and you’re on crutches, so I don’t think it’d work out.”
“True,” Jake agreed, sitting down and letting Michael take his crutches. “It’s been, like, weeks since I’ve seen you. I have to tell you all the shit that happened, man.”
“Real quick, I’m so glad you’re here,” Rich said. “And since I haven’t talked to you before the whole play thing that removed the computer, I’m bi .”
“Dude, I know,” Jake chuckled. “You looked straight at me and said it while you were high on painkillers. Then, you kept chanting it when I stopped back in to check on you and show you my sweet leg casts.”
“Well, not straight at you,” Rich remarked.
“Michael, what did you do to him?” Jeremy groaned.
“Nice one, Rich,” Michael shrugged with a satisfied expression.
“Thanks, man,” Rich responded. “Wait, you’re cool with that?”
“Be whoever you wanna be,” Jake stated. “I don’t care. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“You’re awesome, Jake,” Rich breathed.
“I know, right?” Jake smiled. “Also, your lisp is so cool man.” Rich’s cheeks reddened and Michael’s eyebrows raised.
Something told him that Rich had realized he was bi for a reason. And that reason was right in front of them.
“Now, we gotta talk about the shit that’s going on,” Jake started. The two became deep in conversation about coaches and sports and all the other stuff that Jake had already rambled about to Michael.
“Michael,” Jeremy called Michael over.
“What’s up, dude?” Michael stepped over to Jeremy’s bed, hoping he wasn’t being too much of a bother.
“The doctor came in earlier and told me I’ll be out in, like, a day or two,” Jeremy said with elation and a large grin.
“Really?” Michael asked, breaking out into a smile as well.
Jeremy nodded furiously.
“Dude,” Michael started. “A night full of video games and 90’s soft drinks?”
“Don’t forget the best part,” Jeremy responded.
“Super greasy pizza that will probably make me even more unhealthy than I already am,” Michael finished.
They fist bumped and Christine giggled, looking between the two.
“I’ll probably head out for a little,” Michael stated. “Jaslene left her badge at home, again. Guess who’s being the best and bringing it up here for her.”
“Jaslene!” Jeremy huffed, jokingly. “She really needs to get more organized.”
“I know,” Michael rolled his eyes. “And I should just stop by her office and leave her a note or something because she’s still worried that I have so many STD’s from my vast amount of girlfriends.”
“So many, man,” Jeremy hummed.
“You guys are such good friends,” Christine commented. “How do you do it?”
“Copious amounts of-” Michael paused, trying to replace the usual joke, ‘sex’, for something more appropriate. “ Friendship. ”
“And time,” Jeremy added with a small amount of awkwardness. “We’ve been friends for, like, twelve years?”
“I don’t remember,” Michael shrugged. “All I can remember is seeing you outside one day wearing a Mario T-shirt, going up to you and saying ‘I like your shirt.’ And then we became the bestest of friends.”
Christine smiled at that. “Wow, you guys are so cute. I wish I had a friend like you, Michael.”
“People keep saying that to me and I have no idea why,” Michael replied. “I’m such a terrible friend. For example, I almost let Jeremy drown in a swimming pool when we were twelve.”
“What?” Christine chuckled at the absurd statement. “I feel like there’s a huge story behind this.” There was a small buzz and Christine quickly pulled out her phone. “Aw, dang it. It’s going to have to wait. My dad wants me home now.” She stood up and glanced at the door, her eyes slightly nervous. “I gotta go. Um, maybe I can come up again and talk to you more, Jeremy?”
“That would be, um, fine,” Jeremy replied. “Have a safe trip home.”
“Hey, I can walk you out,” Michael offered. “I gotta go to the first floor and I know how easy it is to get lost here.”
“Thank you so much,” Christine responded. “It’s my first time here and I needed a nurse to get here.”
“Um, real quick,” Michael tossed down his bag and shuffled through. “Uh, Jeremy, I know you haven’t been sleeping. So, I broke into your house again-there it is.” Michael pulled out a small tattered brown bear stuffed animal. “And I got you this old thing.”
Jeremy’s eyes brightened. “ Where did you find this ?” He squealed in joy, grabbing the animal from Michael. “He’s so old and smells just like….How? Michael, you’re awesome.”
“Sorry, to embarrass you in front of Christine and Rich,” Michael shrugged while his cheeks darkened slightly.
“I still sleep with a stuffed animal, so please,” Christine remarked with a small grin.
“ Michael ,” Jeremy whispered. “Thank you.” Jeremy’s long arms were suddenly wrapped around Michael, pulling him down to the bed.
“I know he’s a remedy for sleep,” Michael mumbled in Jeremy’s ear. “And also, girls love sappy stuff so I decided to bring him out and-”
“Dude,” Jeremy muttered. “I owe you so much and I can’t believe you thought of me that much. Thank you .”
“It’s no problem,” Michael replied, his stomach flipping while his heart had palpitations. Jeremy let go of their slightly awkward hug, due to Michael having to bend down while Jeremy was stretching up with all his might. “Let’s go, Christine!”
“Alright!” Christine responded while Michael marched to the open door.
And Michael’s heart felt so good, for some reason.
Jeremy’s smile was the best thing in the world.
“Night, guys,” Michael hummed, standing to leave the room.
“Night, Michael!” Jeremy replied. “Thanks for bringing my bear!”
“Thanks for bringing Jakey D this afternoon,” Rich responded. “That was honestly the best thing ever.”
“I’ll see you all tomorrow,” Michael smiled. “And honestly, you two, it’s no big deal.” Michael slung his backpack over his shoulder and headed out. “See ya!”
“Bye,” Rich said.
“Later!” Jeremy stated.
A thick silence built up in the room before Rich said, “Hey, goodnight, Jeremy.”
“Goodnight to you too, Rich,” Jeremy responded.
He gripped the old artifact he had once called “Beary” and laid down to sleep.
With the soft smell of weed and small visions of his friends in his head, Jeremy’s head hit the pillow in record time.
And his nightmares weren’t nightmares.
They were dreams .
Dreams of Christine dancing with him in a large ballroom as she sang on about Shakespeare. Dreams of Rich tugging him through the halls of a castle talking about Japan. Dreams of his dad driving him to some place that he’ll never remember.
And then Michael was there.
Steady and perfect .
Holding his bear.
And then sitting next to him with a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder as Jeremy lay sleeping.
Michael was holding him to the ground, protecting him from the incoherent yelling that sounded like the squip. Michael was there, dressed in an armor of red, defending him from the thoughts that weren’t his or that hurt too much. Michael was there holding him through all the harm that he had caused to himself and others.
Michael smelled softly like weed, but also like the detergent that his mom used. Flowery and bright and warm and like a soft spring day.
Michael was all of those things and more.
And with the knowledge of that,
Jeremy slept for the whole night.
Soundly.
Steadily.
Perfectly .