sarcastical
Fandoms
Recent works
-
The void stared into Hawkins, and Hawkins stared back by sarcastical
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
25 Sep 2023
Tags
Summary
In which the Demogorgon mistakenly opens a portal to a capitalist hell-scape, a McDonald's regional manager spots an opportunity, and Henry Creel discovers that maybe he underestimated the power of a few severely overworked and underpaid fast food servers.
-
Tags
Summary
Hopper knew it was a bad sign when the asshole standing over him with a fistful of paperwork had to leave the room to take a message on his radio. Between all the bodies Sal had reported being pulled out of the middle school and the helicopters he could hear flying overhead Hopper had figured there were even odds that the girl was still alive and free, but the satisfied expression on the agent’s face as he came back into the room suggested maybe that wasn’t the case anymore.
He’d made his choice. Traded a live kid for one that he’d only had a slim chance of bringing home alive. Gambled on the probability of that Wheeler kid and his little friends ignoring him again and leaving the place he’d ordered them to stay and on a little girl winning a fight with a bunch of trained adults with guns.
William Byers was alive.
-
Tags
Summary
There are numerous alternate dimensions in which Obi Wan Kenobi or Anakin Skywalker run into some anomaly in the force that allows them to travel back and attempt to fix their timeline. Unfortunately in this dimension the artefact in question was designed to send slightly more than one person back.
-
Tags
Summary
After a long (or at least it felt long) difficult life (and a suprisingly long death) Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master and sometimes mad desert hermit is pleased to wake up somewhere sunny, warm and sand-free. Honestly, waking up in the AgriCorp is just another example of the force's slightly unexpected sense of humour, and after so many years fighting it is a somewhat welcome change in a world where he can still feel his loved ones, rich in the force across the stars.
Unfortunately, one day it suddenly becomes clear that this is not, strictly speaking, the after life he was looking for. -
Tags
Summary
The famous mercenary Hawkeye has a secret - a reason for staying at a distance - but if experience has taught him anything it's not to show it.
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Dudley Dursley's life was perfectly normal - until his younger daughter's eleventh birthday, when a letter arrived which forced him to recall buried memories about wizards and magic. Now he has to navigate raising a witch, a complicated relationship with his famous cousin, and his mother's loathing of magic, all while coming to terms with his childhood. And he's still afraid of dementors.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,753
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 112
- Kudos:
- 1,314
- Bookmarks:
- 307
- Hits:
- 13,423
Bookmarked by sarcastical
12 Jun 2026
-
To Die a Hero (and Live Much Longer) by HallsofStone2941
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
17 Mar 2015
Tags
Summary
Bilbo cannot be found after the battle, and after doing their best to deny it, the Company finally acknowledges his death.
Imagine their surprise when Bilbo returns to Erebor upon hearing of his untimely demise.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,370
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 44
- Kudos:
- 1,972
- Bookmarks:
- 390
- Hits:
- 26,512
Bookmarked by sarcastical
09 Jun 2026
-
Dead Until Proven Alive by chrystal896
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
19 Jan 2015
Tags
Summary
Bilbo is hungry, dirty and very confused. Why will no one tell him what happened to Thorin Oakenshield.
Series
- Part 1 of The Grace of Yavanna
Bookmarked by sarcastical
08 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
As a fauntling, not even double digits, Bilbo Baggins falls from a tree and splits his skull neatly in two. He had been exploring alone, and so is left unbothered as he lays dead in the grass. He is still unbothered half an hour later when he sits up, stares curiously at the bloodstained earth, and scampers back home. He stands in the kitchen, happily munching a cranberry-orange scone and oblivious to Belladonna’s tears as she runs her fingers frantically through his blood matted hair.
or
Bilbo can't die, and the company finds out much sooner than he had planned (implying he had been meaning to tell them at all, but, well, Bilbo would be a fool to believe anything would go as planned on this confounded journey).
Bookmarked by sarcastical
08 Jun 2026
-
A Nose For Conkers by DisasterDungeonMaster
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
07 Nov 2016
Tags
Summary
"Halfling" is considered an insult in the Shire. Of course, Big Folk (and dwarves) know far less than they think they do, so this fact eludes them. It especially eludes Thorin Oakenshield, so if Bilbo decides to use a Hobbit means of communicating his irritation, who can blame him?
Series
- Part 2 of ShadowKissed
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,529
- Chapters:
- 5/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 221
- Kudos:
- 2,510
- Bookmarks:
- 687
- Hits:
- 33,545
Bookmarked by sarcastical
08 Jun 2026