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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione should’ve been paying better attention, really. Busy at work, fielding messages from different friends…

    She should’ve known she’d send the wrong (very embarrassing, very explicit) message to Draco Malfoy.

    [A one-shot with a few text messages embedded. About 5k word count total]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,468
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    164
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    832
  2. Tags
    Summary

    It’s normal to have a little panic about your baby sister’s wedding, get shitfaced at the reception, and fall into bed with one of the guests. Even if the guest is Cormac McLaggen. Right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,561
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    438
  3. Tags
    Summary

    It’s meant to be a quick welfare check—pop round to the Parkinson manor and make sure Pansy is doing okay with cursebreaking her ancestoral home.

    What Harry doesn’t expect is the house taking great interest in that Potter magic, and not wanting to let him leave without encouraging him into the family line.

    Or; Pansy’s sentient house really likes the look of Harry Potter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,000
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    192
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    3,385
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “Can I be so kind as to suggest you stay away from Gregor Collins, over there. Bone structure of an underwear model, I know, but word in the changing room is he will be talking your ear off about making things official by breakfast.”

    Charlie raises an eyebrow. “Who said breakfast would be on the cards?”

    “Ah, yes. You’re more of a kick-em-out-before-dawn kind of bloke.”

    “Wouldn’t like to get anyone’s hopes up.”

    “Mm,” Oliver nods. “A slice of toast in the morning. A bit of sustenance. Always said it screams, ‘I want a long-term relationship.’”

    Charlie’s spent the last few weddings nursing a very inconvenient crush on Oliver Wood. It’s probably time to do something about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,206
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    298
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “Great. Get it over with quickly. Because it’s just that easy.”

    “You know, it’s not like you've never done this before,” Hermione says primly. “Just think of it like a one night stand, Lord knows you’ve had plenty of them.”

    “Alright, alright. Enough with the slut shaming.”

    “I’m not shaming you. You know I think it’s great you’ve got a healthy sex life and everything. I applaud you, honestly. I’m merely pointing out that it’s just sex, Harry.”

    “It’s sex with Malfoy, Hermione.”

    “Sounds a better option than death, don’t you think?”

    Harry and Draco are stuck in a cursed cave and there’s only one way out. Isn’t there?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    283
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    2,556
  6. Tags
    Summary

    A freshly divorced Harry Potter is looking for someone to have a casual relationship with. Nothing serious, just a bit of fun.

    Draco Malfoy considers himself up for the task.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    66
    Kudos:
    362
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    3,452
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It’s not exactly how Ron thought his shift would go—getting stuck in a greenhouse with Draco Malfoy and a load of lust pollen.

    He’s on fire from the inside, blood a lava stream of want coursing through his veins. It’s only worse when he looks in Draco’s direction, at that rosy bud of an exposed nipple and the bump in the heft of his trousers where he already knows Draco’s hard. He desperately needs some air.

    Fingers quick at his waistband, Ron pulls the hem of his shirt from where it’s tucked into his trousers. He wafts the material, encouraging any sort of circulation to his over-heated skin, but it’s no use. It’s just pushing more sultry air up over his sweat-slicked stomach. He drops the hem, and starts on the buttons instead.

    Draco’s eyes flare as the top few buttons are unthreaded. “Weasley—”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    171
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1,423
  8. Tags
    Summary

    It’s a busy weekend at the Burrow, and Ron would quite like some alone time with his girlfriend. Is that really too much to ask?

    Or: The five times Harry cockblocks Ron, and the one time he doesn’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1,158
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Dean knows he’s staring, taking in the entirety of the man standing in front of him. Worn jeans, small rucksack tossed over one shoulder, easy grin, always bloody grinning, and—wait—

    “What the fuck is that?”

    Seamus rubs the scruff decorating his chin. “Aye, thought you’d have sommat to say about it.”

    Dean narrows his eyes, reaching out to splay a thumb across the rough of Seamus’ jaw. He turns his face slightly. “Is that—is that some ginger I see in there?”

    “Fuck off,” Seamus snorts, smacking Dean’s hand away. “It’s distinguished, I’ll tell you that for free.”

    “Distinguished, eh? Big word for you, that.” Dean knows he’s smiling broadly, the hand falling from Seamus’ face still feeling the pin-prick echo of stubble on his finger tips. “Turning up here looking like a long-lost Weasley.”

    ****
    Or: Seamus is back in town

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,826
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    124
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    729
  10. Tags
    Summary

    It was by complete accident, how Harry ended up taking a restraining order out against Malfoy. A distraction, a mix up with some paper work, and before they know it they have to stay ten feet apart from each other at all times—which makes it very difficult to keep up the rivals-with-benefits thing they’ve currently got going on.

    So… how many ways can they break a restraining order?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,685
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    146
    Kudos:
    417
    Bookmarks:
    103
    Hits:
    4,862
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Draco’s the first to admit he’s ridden a considerable wave of post-war luck these last few years, but even he’d be hard pressed to explain the exact route to ending up with Hermione Granger’s hand down his trousers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,268
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    603
    Bookmarks:
    86
    Hits:
    6,458
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione and Draco’s surprise partnership in the Auror department has been a roaring success. More specifically, their undercover work as a married couple. They’ve carved a niche for themselves, and every few weeks it’s a new name, a new face, a new fake relationship to uphold.

    What if the play acting is becoming too much?

    What if Draco finds he’d quite actually like to kiss Hermione for real?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    168
    Kudos:
    1,164
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    8,719
  13. Tags
    Summary

    She yanked him inside with fingers curled around his wrist. “You don’t need to be such a gentleman.”

    He snorted as she pressed him against the wall of her hallway. “Believe me. The thoughts I have about you are not very gentlemanly.”

    “That makes the two of us then,” she replied, and dropped to her knees on the carpet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1,132
  14. Tags
    Summary

    It’s possible that Ilya has lost his mind. Maybe he hit his head during the game. Maybe just the sight of Shane Hollander walking down a corridor is enough to send him spiralling and making stupid decisions like hauling him into a side room inside a stadium full of people.

    ***

    “You never fuck anyone at ice rink before?”

    “No!” says Hollander, and he looks like he really wishes he didn’t have to know the answer, but the words tumble out instantly—“Have you?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,057
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    873
    Bookmarks:
    141
    Hits:
    9,629
  15. Tags
    Summary

    What people don’t realise—largely because he’s devoted an impressive amount of effort to pretending it never happens—is that Cormac occasionally experiences… sensations. Strange little twinges. A faint tightening in his chest when he thinks he might have pushed a flirty quip a shade too far. A peculiar, prickling itch under his skin when someone expects something of him. A low, uncomfortable swoop in his stomach when he imagines letting someone down.

    He dismisses them, of course. Probably just the strain from maintaining such magnificent muscle definition, or perhaps an unfortunate allergic reaction to his latest paramour’s perfume. Nothing serious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,657
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    73
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    750
  16. Tags
    Summary

    It’s not gay if you keep your socks on…

    ****

    “Do you—fuck—want to watch?” Cormac asked. He shifted on the cushions, glancing over at Ron.

    “No!” Ron cried, horrorstruck, although he wasn’t altogether sure whether Cormac meant to watch the film or just him tossing himself off. Either way, the firm no still stood. “I’m not—”

    He paused. How should he put this?

    “Not what?” Cormac asked, eyes back on the telly. The slick sound of his hand moving over himself filled the air.

    “I’m not—I’m not gay.”

    “Oh.” Cormac rolled his head against the back of the sofa, hand pumping quicker. “Me neither.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    167
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1,525
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Remus is having a tough time—he’s in a dead-end job, there’s a war looming, and Sirius Being Sirius is fucking with his head.

    Oh, and now James wants help with wedding planning.

    Can Remus make it through the week with his emotions intact? Or is sorting the Potter-Evans wedding while trying to avoid the flirtations of one Sirius Black going to finally push him over the edge? Five days of unresolved sexual tension will surely tell…

    ****

    “Fuck you.” Remus sped up his steps.

    “Dare you,” Sirius said casually, and Remus rolled his eyes.

    “Joke’s old.”

    The oldest in the book, repeated time after time since they were fifteen and the thought of that actually happening was just too hilarious to contemplate. It wasn’t even a little bit funny now, not when it danced on the periphery of a truth neither of them was brave enough to speak out loud.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    230
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    2,210
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Grimmauld sleeps, but Hermione can’t. It’s not something that comes easily to her anymore, not with the shouts and cries of the injured, or the whispered reports that arrive in the dead of the night. Weariness presses at the corners of her mind, thick and heavy.

    Behind her, the floorboard creaks.

    She doesn’t need to turn. She knows it’s him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,423
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    177
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    2,748
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Post-war, Pansy just wants one thing—the chance to travel, to get away from the monotony of everyday life. A job in the Portkey Office seems the perfect answer. There’s just the fact that she has to share an office with Ron Weasley, of all people.

    There’s also the fact that she’s starting to really like him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,055
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    186
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    3,061
  20. Tags
    Summary

    It’s summer, it’s hot, and Draco will do anything to find out how Hermione manages to conjure ultra strong cooling charms.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,467
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    699
    Bookmarks:
    88
    Hits:
    6,649

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