irrationalforecast

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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is still learning that he doesn't have to be perfect in his own relationship. Ilya is still learning the rules of Shane's bad days. So when Shane tries to push him away after a crushing loss, it leads to a tense argument. But ten years of rivalry are no match for Shane’s tears; the second he starts to cry, Ilya folds like a house of cards.

    Or: Shane tries to starve himself as punishment for losing, Ilya tries to feed him, and it turns into a very soft night of pampering because Ilya is legally incapable of staying angry at a crying Shane.

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    18 Jun 2026

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    “Ilya,” Shane gasped out, like it hurt to form the word. With it came a small smattering of blood on his lip. A few extra hands were working alongside Ilya and Pike, but Ilya would not move. He had to stay, and listen, and be with Shane.

     

    “Yes. Shaneya, I am here. What do you need to tell me?” More and more blood burbled up past Shane’s lips, which couldn’t be a good sign. How could more blood be trying to escape him? There were already two exit points, wasn’t that enough? Now he had to drown in it?

     

    “Tell Ilya I’m sorry… I- I love him… So much. I’m sorry I left. Please. Please, I can’t die without him knowing…” Ilya couldn’t breathe behind the sob that tore out of him. He collapsed inward with the force of it. Shane was below him, begging to live so that he could tell Ilya he loved him. If anyone reacted to the two boys, Ilya didn’t notice. This whole thing could still be being live-streamed to ESPN, and Ilya wouldn’t care.

    Or, Shane gets shot on the ice right after the Tuna Melt Gate. Ilya is there to save him.

    Language:
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    07 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    It all happens so quickly. One moment, Hayden is moving towards his wife so he can fall apart in her arms, and the next, there’s six feet of oddly nervous Russian hockey player separating Jackie from him.

    “Is ok,” Rozanov says, hands in the air as though Hayden’s holding a gun. “Pike, whatever you are upset about. Is not Jackie’s fault.”

    Or: Hayden, Ilya, and the mortifying ordeal of being known.

    Language:
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    07 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    04 Jun 2026

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    He’s just about ready to doze off—his ritualistic pre-dinner, thirty-minute nap—when, suddenly, Ilya says, “Huh. Interesting.”

    Shane cracks one eye open. “Hmm?”

    “Oh, nothing, малыш,” he replies, though his brows are furrowed when he says it. Shane’s even more curious now.

    “No, really, what is it?”

    Ilya must lose some internal debate; a deep sigh leaves his body before, wordlessly, he turns his phone to Shane.

    The bright light makes him squint, still not used to Ilya and his affinity for both using the light-mode feature and turning the brightness in his phone to a maximum. He forgoes scolding him when, after his eyes have adjusted, he reads: Metros acquires Fil-Canadian Rivera; second Asian player in franchise history after Hollander.

    At first he thinks, oh, that’s my name. Shane hasn’t seen his name mentioned remotely near the words ‘Montreal Metros’ ever since he transferred to Ottawa three years ago. Then, and this is when it finally dawns on him, Shane thinks: second?

    Series
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    31 May 2026