grumpyclaws
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When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter.
Features fuzzy cartoon slippers, devious house elves, 90s music, and lots—LOTS—of memories. Ron is annoyingly hot, Hermione sees right through you, Harry is a powerful idiot, and Draco is a reclusive masochist that would buy an entire city if it would make a kid happy. (And Pansy is "5'2, I wanna dance with you, and I'm sophisticated fun.")
Series
- Part 1 of The Ordeal of Being Known
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 146,637
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 2,594
- Kudos:
- 28,251
- Bookmarks:
- 10,204
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- 943,018
Bookmarked by grumpyclaws
28 Jun 2026
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“Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”
“Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”
Hayden stops, so Shane does too.
“You don’t know who that was?”
Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer.
“Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious.
Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”
“At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke.
“He’s a porn star, man.”
“A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?”
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Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,214
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 1,140
- Kudos:
- 38,074
- Bookmarks:
- 8,576
- Hits:
- 452,853
Bookmarked by grumpyclaws
22 Feb 2026
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Sieun knows that his parents just want him to move past it, to get over it, even if they won’t say it out loud. But there’s no moving past it—not as long as Suho stays like this. There’s nothing to propel him forward, nothing to knock him out of this equilibrium.
In physics, terminal velocity is the maximum constant speed attainable by an object falling through a fluid. It occurs when the sum of the drag force and the buoyancy is equal to the downward force of gravity acting on the object. Once it has been reached, the object has zero acceleration.
Sieun has been falling for a long, long time.
Ahn Suho wakes up. They pick it up from there. (Or: Ahn Suho's cram school for one.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,250
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 559
- Kudos:
- 7,166
- Bookmarks:
- 1,598
- Hits:
- 102,968
Bookmarked by grumpyclaws
10 May 2025
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you know it all (you're my best friend) by yeonsiieunn
Fandoms: 약한영웅 Class 1 | Weak Hero Class 1 (TV)
17 Mar 2024
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“Are you really crying over that kid again?” A resigned voice rumbles from the bunk bed above him. “It's the third time this week.”
“Shut the fuck up, Jang,” Suho retorts, kicking the top mattress with his socked foot, “He's my best friend. I'll cry if I wanna cry.”
Or, Suho misses Sieun during his compulsory military service.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,300
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 1,152
- Kudos:
- 8,490
- Bookmarks:
- 1,925
- Hits:
- 100,376
Bookmarked by grumpyclaws
03 May 2025
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Clark struggles with something his Ma might call jealousy after walking in on Bruce and Hal together after a mission. Instead of letting Clark's feelings ruin the Justice League's hard-won team cohesion, Bruce suggests an alternative arrangement: sleep together once, work the tension between them out of their systems, and then go back to normal afterward.
The problem with that plan? It's not just casual, and neither of them can ever go back to normal once it's all said and done.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,875
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 556
- Kudos:
- 7,241
- Bookmarks:
- 1,452
- Hits:
- 83,836
Bookmarked by grumpyclaws
19 Mar 2025