disfunction_surrender



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    @IlyaRozanovOfficial✅ Happy to announce that I WILL be pounding Shane Hollander tonight! That ass is MINE!

    @CliffMarleau✅Brother, please ask me before you post shit like this.

    @BostonWAGOneDay pounding him into… the boards… right? RIGHT?

    @HollanderBabe24 in my dreams 🙏🙏🙏

    @HockeyFan81 PLEASE have someone proof-read this man’s Tweets.

    @IllyaRozanovOfficial✅ what is ‘proof-read’? Internet tells me this mean
    fix errors. What error? I said what I said.

    @HockeyFan81 I’M SCREAMING

    OR: Instead of just hooking up at the CCM shoot, Shane and Ilya start a serious relationship the summer before their rookie season. They are not public about their relationship, but Ilya sees no reason to lie when people ask him what he thinks of his biggest rival. Maybe it’s the Russian accent, though, because for some reason, everyone thinks he's joking.

    Language:
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    5/6
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    26 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”

    “Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”

    Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.

     

    In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.

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    02 Apr 2026

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    To say that Shane isn't a little bit afraid of having to share his house with another boy is an understatement. Shane is very afraid.

    The Hollanders open up their home to host a foreign exchange student in Shane's eighth year of school, unaware of the fact that they've just given their son his first best friend, Ilya Rozanov.

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    02 Apr 2026

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    "Hi, solnyshko.”
    The Russian pet name set a firework off inside Shane's mind as he heard it cooed from behind him. The intonation was just as he remembered, but the voice was much deeper.

    He turned and felt himself short circuit. It took every ounce of willpower to not let his jaw drop cartoonishly to the floor. Shane would recognize his individual features anywhere, even after 5 years. But it was as if someone had snapped their fingers and the smug, silly Russian boy who had been attached to Shane's hip for 3 summers was transformed into some sort of fucking Adonis right before his eyes.

    “Ilya-” was all Shane managed before strong arms were wrapped around his waist and lifting him off the ground in a greeting all too familiar from years ago.

     

    OR
    When Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov spent their summers as teens in an elite hockey camp, they quickly became inseparable friends. But they lose touch when Shane moves on as a prospect for the NHL and Ilya for the KHL.

    Years later, Montreal makes a bold move to take the hottest player in the KHL. After hearing of the Russian's reputation, the Montreal Captain is tasked with keeping his old best friend and new teammate out of trouble.

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    01 Apr 2026

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    After coming back from David and Yuna Hollander’s home, Shane and Ilya wake up confused, no longer in the cottage they had confessed their love in.

    They weren’t the only ones confused and out of their homes.

    So many people joined them. Friends, ex-girlfriends, teammates, and even the MLH commissioner.

    All to watch the truth between the two so-called rivals right before their eyes.

    ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

    The people in this theatre would be getting a whole show full of intimate feelings and everything Shane and Ilya kept closely guarded inside their hearts, even from each other.

    Shane’s eyes crossed Ilya’s and he could instantly tell what Ilya was thinking.

    We are so fucked.

    AKA…the characters of Heated Rivalry react to the show.

    Language:
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    31 Mar 2026