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    Summary

    Her headache is easing a bit, even without the Willow Bark, and she lifts her hands to rub her temples.

    As she does so, a flash of red passes through her field of vision, which is curious, because she’s certain there is no red on any part of her wardrobe.

    She lets go of her head and inspects her hands for any possible blood.

    What she finds is far, far worse.

    A single, fragile piece of thread is looped around her left ring finger. The thread is about a foot long, and she stares at it in horror as it flutters in the breeze from the window.

    This has to be a joke.
    ~
    Maomao wakes up after her kidnapping to find that she's been sold of to the Palace as a servant girl.

    That she can handle.

    What she can't handle is the much, MUCH worse issue of the little red string she finds around her finger.

    (JinMao Soulmate AU!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,007
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    540
    Kudos:
    1,976
    Bookmarks:
    446
    Hits:
    37,652
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “I’d like an iced vanilla cappuccino please. But with far more milk than coffee.”

    Maomao blinks at him.

    “So you want a latte.”

    “What?”

    “A cappuccino is equal parts espresso and steamed milk. A latte is a little bit of coffee with a bunch of milk. You want a latte.”

    For the first time in this interaction, the customer frowns.

    “No,” he says, “I want a cappuccino. With extra milk.”

    Maomao’s eye begins to twitch.

    “No, you don’t.”

    “Yes I do!” The customer insists, pouting his lips.

    The man is attractive, no doubt, and this look would probably have most people of any gender swooning over him. But Maomao has been immune to such things for a long time now, and so she just looks at him again.

    For a moment, he seems surprised, like he really thought the pouting would work. He’s quick to change tactics though. “How about this,” he says, “You give me my cappuccino with extra milk, and I give you my number.”

    He says this triumphantly, like he’s certain he’s finally gotten through to her. Maomao is sure he expects her to blush, but instead, she laughs. Loudly.
    ~
    Maomao hates being a barista. A charming new customer makes her hate it even more.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,586
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    416
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    3,322
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “The day we met,” he says, “I scratched up my palm so bad I needed eight stitches.”

    “Oh. But it…wasn’t my fault….right…?”

    Jinshi’s impish smile tells her otherwise.

    “Oh my god. What did I do?”
    ~
    Jinshi reminds Maomao about the day they met. Maomao is horrified.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,598
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    123
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    881
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “Oh my god, you’re Maomao!”

    “Yes, I did just say that.”

    “No, no,” Angel Man is tripping over his words, he’s so excited now, “Maomao, it’s me, Jinshi.”

    Maomao just blinks at him.

    “Who?”

    He scoffs. “What do you mean, who? How could you have forgotten your favorite neighbor?”

    Favorite neighbor?

    Why does that phrase sound familiar? She scans his face, taking in the regal nose, the purple hair, the sharp chin.

    Suddenly, unbittingly, the image of a smiling little boy peeking out from between a bunch of sunflowers comes to her mind.

    Favorite neighbor….

    “Oh!”

    She remembers now. Of course she remembers. She remembers everyone who leaves.
    ~
    Maomao saves a man from getting hit by a truck. It just so happens that this man is an important figure from her past. One she'd tried to forget, but never could. She hates her fucking life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,259
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1,491
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Luz takes a deep breath and continues to search for a pen. “Hi,” she says, voice muffled by the car interior, “Sorry, I wasn’t driving away, I was just getting paper so I could write you a note! See?”

    Luz backs out of the car, brandishing her pen and paper, and then turns to the stranger.

    “I didn’t do any damage, but I was still gonna write something because-” She stops mid-sentence, because it’s then that she gets a good look at the other woman, and all the words in her mouth turn to mush.
    ~
    Luz bumps into an angry but beautiful stranger's car.

    Good thing they'll never see each other again.

    Right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,760
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    161
    Kudos:
    211
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    4,336
  6. Tags
    Summary

    She allows it, allows him to push her back down onto the bed, but when she looks up at him, her expression is still neutral. It drives him crazy.

    “You can’t possibly be as unaffected as you seem,” he growls at her, and she just arches an eyebrow.

    “Why not?”

    “Because that’s not fair,” he says. She just shrugs, which frustrates him even more.

    “Alright,” he says, “I am going to make you feel something.”

    “By all means, do your best,” she says, but he can’t listen to her talk anymore. He can’t stand how badly she pretends that she doesn’t care, and he can’t stand that he finds even that attractive.
    ~
    Maomao comes back to check up on Jinshi after a very frustrating night before.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,273
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    466
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    6,348
  7. Tags
    Summary

    SPOILERS FOR LIGHT NOVELS THROUGH VOLUME TEN
    ~
    “What exactly is it that you want from me, Master Jinshi?”

    He laughs bitterly and shakes his head. “Unbelievable. It’s been years, and you’re still pretending you have no idea.”

    “I’m not pretending anything, I-”

    He stands up suddenly, and before she can complete her train of thought, he’s advancing on her.

    He stalks her across the room as she stumbles blindly backwards, until she finally feels her back hit a wall.

    He positively towers over her, but she refuses to lose face. She stands up tall, keeping her expression as impassive as possible, even as he slams his hand against the wall.

    “You ask me what I want, like I haven’t told you explicitly. Like I didn’t do this.” He gestures to the brand on his side, the stupid brand, which should never have even been there in the first place.

    He’s such an idiot.
    ~
    Jinshi and Maomao finally communicate. Sort of.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,570
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    396
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    4,503
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Ozzie rolls his eyes. “Haven’t you ever heard of having fun, Stolas?”

    Stolas crosses his arms. “I have fun!” he insists, and Ozzie sighs again.

    “Stolas, when was the last time you were laid?”

    “That’s none of your-”

    “Yeah, yeah, I know,” Asmodeus interrupts, heading for the door, “I’m just saying, instead of pining after a man who wants nothing to do with you, maybe you should pine after someone who will pine back?” He pauses in the doorway, tapping a finger to his chin. “Or, like, at least get on Grindr,” he says, and Stolas almost throws a stapler at him.

    “Get out, Ozzie!” he says, but Asmodeus is already gone, his laughter trailing down the hallway.
    ~
    Stolas is the Dean of Wrath University, a prestigious scholar and librarian, and a monumental fucking failure. In his opinion, at least.

    Blitzo is the best History Professor at the school. In his opinion, at least.

    They haven't had a real conversation in years. But after an accidental one night stand, that changes.

    Sort of.
    ~
    Stolitz Professor AU because literally why not.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,870
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1,459
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “You don’t remember me, do you?” The woman asks, and Charlie finally manages to look away from her eyes for long enough to react.

    “Do…I know you?” she asks uncertainly, but the answer comes to her before the sentence is even fully out of her mouth.

    The deep brown eyes. The pert mouth that Charlie is ashamed to admit she used to look at a little too much. Even the glare is familiar.

    “Oh my gosh, Vaggie????”
    ~
    Sixteen years after giving up fame, former child actor Charlie Morningstar now spends her time enjoying the low stakes world of community theater.

    But then someone from her past appears, and suddenly, the stakes have never been higher.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,811
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    89
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1,257
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “You know this is a two way street, right? This isn’t me asking you for something, or…god, paying you for something, this is something for both of us. Did you..did I not make that clear? Maomao, I-”

    Hearing her name from his lips seems to be too much for her, and she withdraws her hand fully. He nearly whimpers at the loss of contact, but instead sits up fully so they’re on the same level.

    It’s difficult, trying to retain any sense of dignity as he sits there naked, but he does his best, because she needs to understand.

    “Do you…not want to?” He asks quietly, when she doesn’t look at him for a while.

    She sighs, but still keeps her eyes averted. “I didn’t say that.”

    ~
    Jinmao's first time. A little bit of sex, a little bit of a Maomao character study, in a way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,534
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    668
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    7,066
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Hello,

    I’m your downstairs neighbor.

    Fun fact: throwing marbles on the floor or walking across your wooden floor in heels or whatever it is you do every day isn’t really a great thing to do right before midnight!

    I haven’t slept in days, and if I have to hear you make those noises one more time I actually might lose my mind. So I’m asking you, so incredibly nicely, to please stop doing this. I don’t care what it is. Just don’t do it at eleven PM.

    If you don’t stop, I may be forced to take legal action.

    Have a great night,
    4R
    : )
    ~
    Amity moves to a new city, excited to start over in her very own apartment. But when her upstairs neighbor starts making loud noise every single night, she decides that whoever it is is her new mortal enemy.

    Then she meets Luz, a cute drummer with a silly smile, who DEFINITELY has nothing to do with the annoying tapping noises Amity hears coming from above her ceiling.

    Chaos ensues. As it always does.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,867
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1,431
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “Earl Gray tea, and a chocolate cupcake,” Vi announces, presenting the spread for the customer.

    “I didn’t order a-”

    “It’s on the house.”

    Vi studies the woman’s face as she thinks about this. Her features can only be described as chiseled, and, though this really is just for fun, Vi can’t help but be mesmerized by stupid details, like the sharpness of her nose.

    At last, the customer huffs in annoyance. “I don’t like chocolate,” she says. She picks up her cup, leaving the pastry on the counter.

    “Thanks for the tea,” she says, and walks away to sit by the window.

    “What kind of freak of nature doesn’t like chocolate?” Vi calls after her, but she isn’t surprised when she’s ignored.

    She can’t help but chuckle. She loves this part of her job.
    ~
    CaitVi coffee shop AU bc nobody can stop me.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,676
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    2,183
  13. Tags
    Summary

    “Anyway, now it’s your turn,” he says, “What are you afraid of?”

    Powder’s giggles cut off immediately, and she doesn’t answer right away. Ekko gives her a few moments of silence and holds his breath, hoping she can trust him too.

    And apparently, she does.

    “I’m scared,” Powder says, “Of being left behind.”
    ~
    Seven years after the battle in Piltover, Ekko stands on a bridge and waits for a promise to be fulfilled.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,693
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    141
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    988
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Lucia blinks at her, and it’s the same “are you fucking stupid” look she frequently gives to Galo. “Aina,” she says slowly, “Galo is, like, super gay.”
    ~
    Aina has a huge crush on Galo. Lucia has some unfortunate news.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,580
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    151
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Witchchick128: but youre so pretty?
    Witchchick128: oh my god im sorry thats so weird to say
    Witchchick128: im sorry i swear im not some weird old guy im just a teenage lesbian
    Witchchick128: sorry wait that makes it more weird. Oh my god oh my god
    ~
    Lumity Week 2024! I'm starting a little late, my bad! One short one shot for every day!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,474
    Chapters:
    3/7
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    142
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1,418
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “What did you do?” He asks, more curious than accusatory.

    “Check your watch.”

    Ekko does.

    The hands have stopped completely.

    He feels like his heart is stopped too.

    “You-”

    “Stopped time, yes,” Jinx says, like she does this every day. She walks back to the ledge and sits down, dangling her legs over the edge.

    Ekko shakes her head. This makes no sense. But then again, not much does with Jinx.

    “For how long?” He asks.

    Jinx shrugs. “No clue.”

    “What????”

    “I said, NO CLUE,” Jinx yells the last part, like she’s worried he didn’t hear. “Now are you coming over here or not?”
    ~
    What I think happened when Ekko stopped Jinx from killing herself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,122
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    438
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    3,125
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The story of how Vaggie and Charlie met, and beyond.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,205
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    142
    Kudos:
    349
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    6,707
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Dipper stares at her, and then peeks around the corner at Pacifica, and then back at Mabel. Understanding blooms across his face, and Mabel winces when he knowingly says “Mabel, no!”

    “I don’t know what you-”

    “Mabel, you promised you wouldn’t have a rebound this summer. Plus, it’s Pacifica! I know she’s nicer now, but she’s still….”

    “Still what, Dipper?” Mabel asks, voice hard.

    “She’s still Pacifica, Mabel!”

    Well. He has a point there.
    ~
    Dipper and Mabel return to Gravity Falls for Soos and Melody's wedding three years after Weirdmaggedon to find that nothing has changed. (Except also everything has)

    Reeling from a recent breakup, Mabel is determined to spend the summer focusing on anything but romance. But when Pacifica begs Mabel to pretend to date her to piss off her parents, who is Mabel to say no? She's just that good a friend.

    It doesn't matter that Pacifica is gorgeous now. Obviously. She's just a REALLY good friend, okay?

    Classic fake dating AU!!!! Because I love those!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,498
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    766
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "...The grumpy guy you met up front today also used to be a bartender. He used to say the biggest difference is that the clientele here are less likely to jump you, but now that he’s been here a few years he knows that’s simply not true.”

    Vaggie raises an eyebrow. “He’s been jumped? Behind the counter?”

    “Haven’t we all?” Charlie says breezily, and moves right along, ignoring the slightly perplexed look Vaggie is giving her.

    She’ll learn.
    ~
    The new hire at the coffee shop Charlie manages seems to have a troubled past and her fair share of trauma.

    She's also, like, really hot.

    Not that Charlie noticed or anything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,728
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    179
    Kudos:
    388
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    5,519
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Stolas looks like he’s about to say something, but then Asmodeus says “And Stolas, buddy. Come on. Could you be any more obvious?”

    Blitzo is still lost, but apparently Stolas gets it, because he buries his face in his hands.

    “So anyway, you two are stuck in there for as long as it takes to work out whatever it is you need to work out. And absolutely no having sex to replace having to talk about your feelings.”

    “Trust me,” Asmodeus adds, “I’ll know. Okay, bye!”

    Their footsteps recede down the hallway, so Blitzo guides his attention towards Stolas, who is still hiding his face.

    “Stolas, what the fuck are they talking about?”

    Stolas sighs, and it sounds like it’s something that’s been building up for awhile.
    ~
    Fizzaroli and Asmodeus are tired of Stolas and Blitzo's bullshit, so naturally, their first instinct is to lock them in a closet and force them to talk about their feelings.

    Had to get this out before the Full Moon ep because after that this will be completely non canon compliant.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,528
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    239
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    1,467

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