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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.” 

    Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”

    “I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.” 

    “Rozanov–” 

    “Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”

    OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic. 

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    19 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “They both want to fuck you. That entire family is trying to fuck you. I think we should call the police. Put restraining order for your hole.”

    “Ilya, are you drunk?”

    “Hollander, this is a serious problem!”

    “Just because he is gay, it doesn’t mean he wants to fuck me.” Shane scoffs. “Maybe he’s a bottom too.”

    “So, that’s your problem? Not that he wants your hole?”

    “Ilya, I swear, if you don’t stop saying that word—”

    “It’s wrong, you know,” Ilya informs seriously. “You fucked Rose Landry. Now Peter Landry is trying to fuck you. All the holes are connecting. This is basically incest.”

    “Didn’t you sleep with those Swedish twins in Cabo?”

    “They were not identical. It does not count!”

    OR: Ilya's life gets plagued by a different Landry this time, AKA an interpretation of the 'let's sleep with other people' fight mentioned in TLG, AKA, an ode to Jealous Ilya.

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    19 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    For a moment, nothing happens. Then, about thirty seconds later, Ilya blinks once, then again, his expression tightening as confusion slowly takes over, trying to make sense of something that’s supposed to be impossible. Shane immediately knows that he’s freaking out.

    You’re freaking out right now, aren’t you? Please don’t freak out. Because if you freak out, then I’m going to freak out.

    “What the fuck?” Ilya yells, as he jerks back like he’s been burned, his hand ripping away from Shane’s ankle. His irises dart left to right crazily, locked in on Shane’s face as he searches for something. Shane stays silent. “What the fuck was that?”

    OR: Shane and Ilya develop telepathy while being in a situationship. It goes as well as you’d expect.

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    18 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane calls a phone sex hotline and gets Ilya crooning unspeakable filth in his ear. It kind of devolves from there.

    ———

    Ilya is a college student in Boston working on the side as a phone sex operator, Shane is still a hockey player. They have toe-curling, back-cracking dirty phone sex and end up catching feelings along the way.

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    Words:
    131,252
    Chapters:
    10/10
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    18 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Hey,” Hollander’s voice changes to something low and soft. He moves quickly, and Ilya realizes suddenly that Hollander is sitting right fucking next to him on the ground.

    “Rozanov, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

    ___

    Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov met at the Prospect Cup when they were seventeen. Ilya doesn't play in North America, he plays in Moscow. Five years later, Shane and Ilya reunite at the Sochi Olympics. Ilya is not doing well.

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    18 Jun 2026