17 Works by ReturnsNull
Listing Works
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Summary
Opening the door is an evidentiary doctrine allowing a party to introduce otherwise inadmissible, prejudicial evidence into court to correct a misleading impression created by the opposing party. Essentially, if one party tries to lie by omission, the other party has the full rights to show the court what they omitted.
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“Hello? Do you live here?”
Ranboo looks up to see a- guy? Ranboo guesses, tall and painfully thin, only slightly less of both than Ranboo, with bouncy curly hair and big brown eyes behind round, wire frame glasses.
“Um,” Ranboo says, glancing at where he’s clearly unlocked the door with their keycard, “did you lose your keycard?”
“Oh! No, no, definitely not, I was just wondering if- one second, Here!” the guy says, pulling a slip of laminated paper from a pocket, “I’m- my son goes here and I’m just trying to find his dorm? I think it’s this one but uh-”
He shows Ranboo the picture.
The kid is blonde, lanky and almost painfully thin looking, with bouncy curls and round blue eyes, he’s in a car, looking at the person holding the camera like he’s far beyond the point of tired of them.
“Oh, that’s Tommy, yeah, he lives here, he’s my roommate!”
Series
- Part 3 of this house is a fucking nightmare
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Summary
The police are going to come to the house, again, they’re going to interview Tubbo, again, they’re going to assure them that it looks like Tommy’s foster family left and took him with them of their own accord, again, they’re going to say they’re doing everything they can and they take kidnappings very seriously, again.
They’re going to take the letter and sweater, probably.
It doesn’t really matter though, to Tubbo the most important thing is that he just got confirmation of something he knew was true.
Tommy is alive
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or
Tubbo's been busy in the time since Tommy's kidnapping. He knows his friend is alive, and he knows that with his experience with true crime and Ranboo... having a driver's license they can track down and save him.
At least that's what makes sense in Tubbo's head.
Maybe tracking down serial killers isn't the smartest plan.
Title from Sodikken's People Eater
Series
- Part 2 of Misery Meat
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Quackity gets home from a shitty day at work and then has a shitty day at home
Series
- Part 1 of this house is a fucking nightmare
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“Can we stop at a motel or something? I’m tired,” tired is an understatement, it’s three in the fucking morning and Tommy hasn’t slept in a bed since Wilbur picked him up.
“You can sleep in the back! I want to get us into a different state before the morning, so the bed is all yours,” Wilbur tells him.
“I can’t sleep in the back of a van, it makes me sick,” also he just knows that the moment he’s laying down Wilbur will turn up his stupid podcast and it will be too loud for Tommy to sleep. It’s the same thing that’s been happening for the last four fucking days. Tommy is at a point where he wants to cry with how little sleep he’s been getting, but that would make his dehydration headache worse and Wilbur isn’t planning to stop for more water until they hit the east coast.
“What? You used to love sleeping in the car! It was the only way that I could get you to sleep when you were little.”
“Well I’m not little anymore,” Tommy grumbles, burying his face in his knees.
“Awe, but you’ll always be my little boy,” Wilbur says, reaching over to ruffle Tommy’s hair.
It’s almost like the blue and red lights washing through the back window were cued by Wilbur trying to touch him.
Series
- Part 4 of Discord Made Me Do It
- Part 2 of this house is a fucking nightmare
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Underscore
sorry didnt want us to get of topic in the server
your dad sounds like he sucsIWishIKnew
it's cool! we were getting pretty off topic, better for dms!/nm/gen
he's actually ok though, he's just really busy!Underscore
too bysu to even humor you for a min?IWishIKnew
it's not like he wouldn't try to listen if I talked to him about it, he'd be bored and I don't want to bother him with that
it's totally a me thingUnderscore
oh shit im just the dickhead who making asumptions about internet strangers families, aren't iIWishIKnew
yeah, you are
/j
it's totally fine though! I did kind of make my dad sound bad, I'm just excited to be in a server where everyone is excited over the same stuff I am!Underscore
i get that
its cool to talk to someone who gets itIWishIKnew
I try! I have to admit I'm not good at the game thoughUnderscore
im sure your better than my brother
send me your tag ill by you a crate and we can play-
Ranboo meets a friend online, kicking off a friendship that will change their life foreverSeries
- Part 3 of The Godson
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3 AM by ReturnsNull for YasminTheSpiritSinger
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Lost Tapes (Karl Jacobs)
31 Aug 2024
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Summary
a few of the contestants on Karl's sick murder gameshow survive, but not unscathed.
Tommy and Tubbo have a moment in the hospital
Series
- Part 3 of Discord Made Me Do It
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Ranboo knew he was there with Tommy when they set George's home alight, they knew it was an accident, they knew it wasn't fair for Tommy to take the fall for it. Maybe in another world he managed to keep his nerve and slip by under the radar, let Tommy take the blame and be exiled alone.
This is not that world.
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Not long after Tommy's revival Ranboo finds him sick and unconscious in his dirt home, and well, Ranboo can't just leave him there so he and Tubbo have been caring for a very very sick Tommy for weeks now, no closer to understanding what has their friend so ill. Until Tubbo makes a discovery.
Series
- Part 2 of Discord Made Me Do It
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Jack literally just wanted to go hiking, he didn't mean to stumble upon a kid who's been living in the woods for almost half a decade
Series
- Part 1 of Discord Made Me Do It
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Oh fuck. He’s coming back. Tommy curls up so none of his important organs are accessible, the guy has only strangled him up till now, but there was blood on the tarp, so maybe he likes to stab too. Tommy doesn’t want to be stabbed anywhere important.
Techno just sits on the other end of the couch and bounces his leg, mostly just looking at the fire, but occasionally glancing at Tommy.
“So, uh, you do anything interesting in school today?” he asks, Tommy would laugh at his awkwardness if he wasn’t so confused.
“I failed a math test,” he says. God he wishes he could go back to that being his biggest problem.
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or
Tommy walks in on a murder and gets kidnapped by the worlds most awkward serial killer.
Title from Sodikken's Misery Meat
Series
- Part 1 of Misery Meat
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TFW You Didn't Know Your Husband and His Best Friend Were Twins by ReturnsNull for GhostzAlt
Fandoms: Dream SMP
24 Aug 2023
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Ranboo has never seen Tommy and Tubbo matching, so he simply did not know they were twins, Tommy and Tubbo do the only reasonable thing and use this to fuck with them.
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Tommy has this annoying problem where he can’t seem to sleep in. It’s always been a thing, he’s the only early riser in his family, Tubbo and Schlatt consistently sleeping in whenever they could while Tommy was up wandering their big house and causing problems.
Well, ok, there was that phase after Schlatt was killed but before Tommy ran away where he was up all fucking night and couldn’t stay awake during the day. Tubbo said it was a sign of “declining mental health and paranoia”. Tommy is pretty sure it was just the stress of living with a murderer, since he went back to sleeping normally at Dream’s.
Regardless, no one in the family ever minded Tommy’s morning person tendencies.
Techno also doesn’t mind Tommy being up at eight am for no reason, but that’s because Techno was already awake at six am.
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After the death of his adoptive father and falling out with the one reporter willing to hear him out Tommy went to the worst people for help: his father's old business rivals. Fortunately for him they've been willing to shelter him, but when his brother calls with an offer they can't refuse Tommy's luck starts to run out.
Series
- Part 2 of The Godson
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Summary
Tommy is probably the smartest fox he knows! Yes, he is also the only fox he knows, but that doesn't feel particularly relevant. So when some local humans start setting up a funny little wire box with food inside, well, Tommy obviously doesn't fall for their simple traps, but if he can con some food out of them... well, he's never been the type to pass up on free food.
obviously, something has to go wrong.
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The warehouse has a shipping crate in it.
Many warehouses have shipping crates in them, but this one only has one, and Phil finds that incredibly suspicious. The large, sturdy lock and convex dents on it also help to catch his attention.
Luckily they brought bolt cutters.
The whole warehouse is dim, not enough to be comfortable for a vampire, but enough to make it somewhat difficult for a human to maneuver. The storage container is much darker, plunging into near total darkness in the back, but that’s fine for someone like Phil, especially since, with the container open, he can smell his fledgling.
“Tommy?” he calls into the dark as his eyes adjust, he’s met with a sharp hiss, not from Tommy. Techno creeps up next to him, his feet crunching over the plastic garbage littered all over the floor.
There’s a figure in the back of the crate, too tall and lean to be Tommy, maybe even taller than Wilbur, curled into the corner like it’s protecting a wound. It hisses again.
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Phil and Techno go to rescue the newest member of their coven after he's been kidnapped, they get more than they bargained for.
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Tubbo has one of those doorbells with the camera that notifies your phone. It’s small fancy things like that that make Dream jealous. Despite what the glamorous tv shows like to say, being a reporter is not a particularly well paying job, and it’s really only his inheritance that’s holding Dream over in terms of funds, so little luxuries like fancy doorbells are out of his price range.
Hopeful this story will be the one that changes things for him. If not financially then at least in influence. After all, he's about to have the biggest scoop on one of the biggest organized crime factions in the city.
Dream rings the doorbell again.
“Coming!” the muffled shout reaches Dream through the door just a moment before it opens, revealing a boy, barely breaking five feet tall, wearing well worn overalls over a dirty thermal shirt. He brushes dirt off the front of his overalls, carefully avoiding the embroidered bee just under the top hem. He certainly doesn’t look like a mob leader.
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Dream got a lead from a distressed teen who recently lost his adoptive father, and he's gonna follow it where ever it leads. Unfortunately he's not always the best at gauging danger.
Series
- Part 1 of The Godson
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Ranboo finds out that Techno kidnapped Tommy after the disc confrontation. He also finds out that he's actually kind of fine with that.
aka
I had a weird dream last night that inspired a brainrot and here I am getting it out of my head -
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Summary
Technoblade does not have a migraine, thank you very much, because Techno doesn't get migraines. He just has a kind of bad headache that gets worse from any kind of light or sound and just so happens to be exhausted and nauseous at the same time. Totally different.
Tommy disagrees.
Or
Techno gets a migraine post execution and Tommy, lifelong migraine haver, takes care of him.