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Summary
Soul Society politics sucked.
Invited to the first Christmas party since Seireitei almost fell to the quincies, Ichigo quickly discovers he's also about to walk straight into Central 46's first opportunity to lay claim to him as the saviour of the three worlds.
Determined to make himself the least palatable kind of hero and throw off the plans of a few dusty old fossils, Ichigo decides to bring a date so awful nobody will want anything to do with him.
He just has to convince Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez to play along, first.
Bookmarked by PaprikaPepper
08 Jul 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
Not only an amazing get together fic, but an amazing ensemble cast fic too! Everyone is so on brand & hilarious, including the OC central 46 character.
Just love how transparently possessive Grimmjow is from minute 1 of Ichigo suggesting this scheme like- I know what you are my guy… HAHAH In general just all the casual touching & the stuff he says “You should be the one crowned in gold and silk, not them.” is so deliciously revealing of his actual feelings whether he consciously knows it or not. And Ichigo realizing this in real time while the fake dating is happening and just GOING FOR IT is so true to character! He didn’t even back down when he thought he got rejected like that’s why he’s the GOAT!!!
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In which Kurosaki Ichigo moves into his very first flat, is tracked down by an irate Arrancar whom he neglected to give his new address to, and finds out exactly what color underwear the man wears underneath those wide-legged hakama of his.
His new neighbors are going to fucking hate him.
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Bookmarked by PaprikaPepper
08 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Crying at Grimmjow literally repeatedly asking Ichigo to come & get him naked, trying to goad him into asking to see his dick & Ichigo STILL not getting the hint 😭
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In which Kisuke is given two shovel talks and delivers a roundabout one himself.
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- English
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- 2,436
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by PaprikaPepper
07 Jul 2026
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“You can’t just climb in through my window and ask to ride my cock,” Ichigo protests, more out of a sense of obligation than anything else, like this is only as complicated as Grimmjow pestering him for a fight without an ounce of regard for college, sleep, or god. “I’m not even in rut.”
“The fuck else should I do? Take you on a date? Buy you flowers? Dismember a hollow and spell ‘Fuck me, Kurosaki’ with the parts?”
“One of those is not like the others,” Ichigo says weakly.
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- English
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- 3/3
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Bookmarked by PaprikaPepper
06 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Holy. Fuck. Just inject this dynamic straight into my bloodstream. RIP Grimmjow’s ass
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Grimmjow was minding his own fucking business.
He’ll defend that until his dying day. He was asleep. Happily ensconced in his rooms (doors barred) in Las Noches, right in the middle of his monthly catnap. Nobody knew he was there, or otherwise should know to leave him the fuck alone.
Kurosaki of course is always the goddamn fucking exception.
- Language:
- English
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- 4,053
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by PaprikaPepper
06 Jul 2026
