Misery31



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    It was a zoomed-in image of what was unmistakably Shane’s hand, gripping white sheets in ecstasy.
    His wedding band was on his finger.
    Ilya began to, quite reasonably in his opinion, choke on his own spit.
    “There’s more where that came from,” Rose said simply, grinning at walking away.
    Mouth wide, eyes popping from his head, Ilya scanned the crowd for his husband. When he spotted him, he saw Shane having a conversation with his dad, his face completely blank even as his eyes flickered to Ilya for just a millisecond.
    “Roz! My man, how are you?” Cliff Marleau asked as he walked over to Ilya, beaming.
    “I am…I am going to die, I think,” he answered hollowly, wondering what ‘more’ meant.

    ___

    In which Shane Hollander does a boudoir shoot and gives 5 photos to Ilya during their wedding reception.
    Obviously, they end up fucking about it.

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    23 Jun 2026

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    Ilya Rozanov has been drafted by Boston, the number one pick overall, but his father doesn't want him moving to America and so takes steps to block his visa. He's going to have to go back to Russia and stay there forever and that, thinks Shane Hollander, is wrong.

    It's so wrong that Shane can't stop himself from doing something about it. Even though that something is the most reckless, the only reckless thing he's ever done in his life. He marries Rozanov in secret, to keep him out of Russia and put him on a path to Canadian citizenship.

    Shane's got a five-year plan to get him there and when you have a plan nothing can go wrong. Right? Right. When you have a solid plan and a marriage that's on paper only there's no risk of feelings getting involved. Not on Rozanov's part and certainly not on Shane's.

    Right???

    (or, the story of how Shane Hollander fell in love with his own husband)

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    21/21
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    18 Jun 2026

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    “This is very romantic,” Shane said, taking it all in again.

    Ilya shrugged, “We’ve never been in the same city on this day before,” he said it like he would have planned something the previous years if they had been.

    “I can’t imagine twenty-three-year-old Rozanov doing this for me."

    “No. Definitely not. I might have made you come twice though, as a treat,” Ilya’s lips tipped into that roguish, crooked grin of his.

    *

    Or: On-ice fights, candlelit surprises, midnight confessions, Shane is treated to a night he won’t forget.

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    19 May 2026

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    It's Shane Hollander's first season in Ottawa, and the whole Centaurs roster is playing better than they ever have. So why won't the press focus on that? Why do he and Ilya keep having to answer questions about their marriage, and not get to talk about the incredible start to the season that their team is having? Maybe if they do one podcast, with hosts who are normal people, they can just tell their whole story and focus on bringing the Stanley Cup to Ottawa.

    ---

    or, Shane and Ilya do a sports podcast run by lesbians for members of the LGBTQ+ community, and the internet reacts.

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    2/2
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    14 May 2026

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    “You liked that didn’t you?” Shane said with a smug little expression on his face.

    Really too many people called Ilya an asshole when Shane was just as bad, or worse. Shane just hid it better, because Canada’s perfect golden boy could do no wrong.

    Ilya moved to cross his arms over his chest and lean back against the headboard, hating how it put even more space between them, but not being able to let Shane think he was right.

    “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

    “Sure you don't, baby.”

    Ilya was definitely not starting to turn the slightest shade of red.
    -------
    Or: Ilya Rozanov learns he is in fact, Shane Hollander's baby.
    Chapter 2: Everyone else in their lives learns he is too.

    Language:
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    25 Apr 2026