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Three pirates and a baby walk into a bar

Chapter 5

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It takes nearly a day before Dream’s ship shows up.

The sun has barely crested the horizon and Tommy is leaned up against Technoblade’s similarly awake form. The boy is blinking sleepily and every other second is spent interrupted by a loud yawn and grunt as he readjusts himself until he is further tucked into Technoblade’s side. 

Technoblade lets out a chuff from their spot sitting on the deck, running his hand through Tommy’s hair, using his claws to untangle the few knots. 

“Theseus,” His voice is gruff when he says the boy's name, the constant underlying affection as clear as day however.

Tommy only whines, shoving his face into the man's neck for a half second before pushing back with a huff, looking up to make eye contact.

“You can go to sleep, I’ll wake you up when he comes.”

Tommy shakes his head, Technoblade’s attempts to tame the boy's locks into something manageable immediately destroyed. 

“This is Dream, he’s the coolest ,” Tommy stresses the importance, unknowing of Technoblade’s furrowed eyebrows and confused face above him “I’m definitely not going to miss him coming-” 

A loud splash.

And it’s here. 

The ship used to be a beautiful, dark oak color, now it’s aged and water damaged yet still floating by otherworldly effects. Barnacles encrusted all up the sides of the ship, cannon holes decorate the sides from now historical battles on the sea, some repurposed into window holes or openings for their own cannons to shoot out of. 

The sails are drawn up and there's dozens of figures decorating the netting hung from the wooden sail supports, all staring towards The Crows Nest hungrily before their gaze snaps towards the wrecked ships nearby, hundreds of bodies floating in the water around them.

Tommy is scrambling out of Technoblade’s embrace immediately, any trace of sleepiness gone as he pulls himself to lean over the edge of the ship's railing. Not even noticing as Technoblade groans and heaves himself off the deck and towards the railing as well.

The man smiles as he sees the boy’s mouth drop open in awe.

Dream is stood at the helm when the ship breaks out of the ocean's surface, his clothes are soaked but he doesn’t flinch as the waves crash across the deck of his ship.

He’s got a heavy, tattered cloak thrown over on top of his clothes. A dark green when it’s soaked but everyone on the seas can account for it’s hideous usual bright green color. The hood is pulled forward to cover his hair and his face is covered by a circular, porcelain disk, decorated only with a crude black smiley face.

He looks nearly ethereal as the water splashes around behind him, “It’s just us, Dream! No need to put up the act!” Technoblade calls out, hand raised above his head to wave the other man's attention over towards where The Crows Nest is gently rocking with the waves.

Even from...however many hundreds of feet away he is, Technoblade can still see the way Dream’s shoulders slouch down in response.

The masked man turns away from his position at the front of the helm, calling out orders to his crew mates who go swinging off The Howling Damned and towards the shipwrecks. Loud whoops of glee follow them as they scramble across the decks, poking amongst the scattered corpses, hands dashing across soldiers necks and pockets, grabbing at anything of value. 

There’s a rumor that sailors and pirates who join Dream’s crew always search for personal belongings off the corpses of those killed at sea. It’s true. Some say it's because the crew have been forgotten by their families or have forgotten who they used to be altogether. Desperate for some grasp of a possible lost love or forgotten child. 

Instead there’s a hoard chest filled with lockets of lovers and family heirloomed rings on Dream’s ship, it serves no value, no need for riches on their ship beyond admiring the gleam, but it’s fiercely protected. Carried in hopes one day a crew member will find their lost family.

Technoblade wears a locket around his neck with a photo of the four of them placed inside, a small emerald encrusted in the clasp. 

Back to Dream however...he looks like shit up close.

He practically has to stumble onto the deck of their ship, leaning heavily against Technoblade’s side as he gives a wave to Wilbur and Phil. 

Changing tactics to drop the same hand down to card through Tommy’s hair, “Oh hello little one,”

Tommy sputters as he stares up at the man, eyes widening in awe as he raises his hands to grab at Dream’s hand, originally to bat it away, but instead holding it as he focuses his attention on the rings decorating the man's hands. 

There’s a golden band stacked on his left ring finger. Encrusted with two gemstones, one blue and the other purple.

“You’re married, big man?” Tommy’s voice is nearly a whisper, looking up in a gaping sort of wonder.

“Not mine,” the man says with a gentle smile, despite the three captains of the Crows Nest who all try and fail to hold back their winces, “Just holding onto it for a friend who passed, I’m heading over to return it to his lovers after this meeting.”

“Sorry,” Tommy looks up at him, letting go of his hand with one last rub of his thumb over the gemstones.

“It’ll be alright, now I’ve heard plenty of rumors about you, little one. Pirates are getting excited hearing about you. They’re hoping to see you at the next Golden Cove gathering-”

“Absolutely not.

“Oh come oooon, Technoblade.” Dream shifts from his spot against the taller man to squat down to Tommy’s height, still leaning against Technoblade’s legs, and looks him in the eyes. “Poor boy should be introduced to the other pirate leaders, should get him started on learning what he’ll be joining soon enough. Nepotism at it’s finest with you lot.”

Tommy looks up to Technoblade, eyebrows furrowed in a way that already has the man groaning internally, furrowed in a way that means he won’t be getting any sleep tonight without hundreds of questions from his son. 

“What’s ne-nepa-nepotism?” Tommy’s eyes flash to Technoblade, who gives him a nod of confirmation, before Tommy’s face hardens back into what the older man knows is his best attempt at a glare, evening out looking like any basic annoyed teenager instead.

“Not now. Dream, you’re gonna sit down and then we’re going to have a talk; after that you can go finish up with the souls out there.”

---

The shared cabin had already been crowded before Technoblade brought home baby Theseus, Wilbur complaining often about the lack of room when Technoblade forced a crib into the corner to put Theseus during long nights spent mapping out courses. Now trying to fit four grown men and a hyperactive 10 year old into that room seemed like hell itself.

Dream ended up settled in Wilbur’s chair, Wilbur in Phil’s, Phil sat on the edge of the map desk, and Technoblade sat on his own chair with Tommy on his lap, the boy shifting every few minutes to try and lean closer to stare at Dream, a firm arm around the boys waist being all that keeps him from tumbling to the floor.

Dream unclasped his mask, passing it over to Tommy, the boy content then to lean back against his dad's chest as he turned the porcelain over in his hands, fingers tracing the smooth grooves.

“So...the reason you summoned me?”

Technoblade shifts, the arm around his waist moving up to wrap around his chest, allowing the hand to be close enough to cover one of the boy's ears, while his free hand covers the other.

His protectiveness of Tommy not allowing the boy out of his sight, but also knowing better than to talk about dead mothers in front of the boy. Whether he knows why or not.

“It’s about Puffy, the Navy didn’t kill her. We went out looking for her after hearing the news, the treasure she’d been after was guarded by a sea dragon and her necklace was in the hoard. The Navy is just claiming her death as their own win.”

Dream is sat back up straight in his chair, and now that his mask is off they can all see the stoney slate that passes over his face. 

“That’s not it, I would’ve known if she was killed in the sea. He leans forward in the chair, elbows braced against his knees. “The ship might’ve been struck down by the dragon, but she was found washed ashore and apprehended by the Navy soon after. She was brought to that prison, the Broken Fjord Institute.”

Technoblade’s shoulders stiffen, his grip around Tommy growing tighter as the boy lets out an indignant squawk as he’s abruptly pulled back tightly against the man's chest. 

Dream gives him a side eye and a nod, “You know firsthand what goes on in that prison, Blade. She’s gone. Rumors say Schlatt was the one stationed when they had to dispose of the body, he took a leave the next day, presumably with her corpse in tow for a proper burial. The navy wasn’t lying when they said they killed her.”

He stands up, going to stand next to the map table in the center of the room, gazing down for a moment before his hands trace the shore of some port town, “No doubt you know George and Sapnap passed.”

“Did they join your ship?“

“They died on land.”

“Oh,”

“It was just supposed to be a short supply run, none of us needed to eat besides them…we’d always teased them, our mortal crew mates . They ran on shore to grab food and some extra ammunition. Some navy men stationed there apparently recognized them and gave chase. I saw them as they were running across the dock, yelled to my crew to come help…some of the crew jumped down to help them but it was too late.

I’m cursed to only walk on land once every ten years, I had a year left when they died. I could have saved them if it weren’t for the curse, but instead I had to watch as they tried to drag themselves to the edge of the dock, to drop themselves into the sea, so I would be able to take their souls and bring them back on board. They died mere feet away… their souls weren’t mine

The goddess of death is kind but the gods demand equality. My friends, my mother, everyone I’ve loved besides my god of a brother, is dead. And I can’t join them.”

He shakes his head a bit before standing back up straight, his fingers have gone from tracing the map to instead go back to brushing over the golden band on his finger, “I need to find someone to take my place and it needs to be one of the pirate lords”

Technoblade opens his mouth to retort, but Dream beats him back to it.

“One last thing, Schlatt sent out a warning. They’re looking for what actually took Puffy’s ship down. They want a weapon. You’d better keep that boy hidden. I’ve been setting off the attacks on the port to try and keep them distracted from hunting for him”

There’s a low growl that emits to fill the room, Technoblade’s fully tucked Tommy against his chest at this point, arms wrapped around him and his shoulders hunched, but still stiff, ready to lunge if need be. Tommy’s lightly humming back up at him, trying to calm him down while doing nothing to leave the embrace. 

Dream stops to scoop the mask back from Tommy, reaching out to ruffle the boy's hair again, but stopping when he meets eyes with Technoblade’s sharp glare.

There’s a low hum that shudders through the ship, like a collection of whale calls, muffled slightly by the sea.

“They’re calling, you three-” a glance is thrown down at Tommy, “...four better answer. I’ll see you on the new moon, at the cove.”

Without another glance, he walks out of the room, silence settling in his place as the three men stare at each other.

They don’t speak, even as Dream’s shouts to his crew ring out and there’s the sound of the plank getting dropped back down to connect The Howling Damned and the Crow’s Nest before Dream’s heavy steps fade as he crosses it.

Wilbur breaks it first, “To the cove then?”

That snaps Tommy back to attention, tugging at Technoblade’s sleeve, “What was he talkin’ about? What's the cove? Is Dream leaving right now?” 

There’s no response from the man though. His eyes remain staring out the window, but his mind is obviously further away. 

Finally Tommy just huffs, squirming out of Technoblade’s lap and running over to Wilbur instead, “Fuck is the cove? Fuck is a pirate lord?”

Wilbur glances nervously over to Technoblade first, a question on his lips that's cut off by an absent minded nod from Technoblade. His thousand yard stare shifting to look at the map along the far wall.

Wilbur gives his own nod that goes unnoticed, standing from Phil’s chair, putting his hands on Tommy’s shoulders, and steering him out of the room and up to the top of the deck.

“When piracy first started across the seas, it was untameable and chaos spread from ship to ship, every pirate ship against each other while they plundered every shore city and sunken ship. And so a group of prominent pirates had a secret gathering in a cove, where they agreed to work together to control the seas. Where they instilled the pirate code and decreed to work together against the royals who sought to wipe out piracy, instead of fighting against one another.” 

Wilbur begins, Tommy leans the slightest bit more towards him, the words honeyed and wrapping around him, weaving in the mental image as he goes.

“But we still fight other pirates?”

“While the pirates code is widely accepted, not all pirates strictly accept to not target other ships. Sometimes it’s needed when other pirates are doing...less legal or moral deeds than piracy typically accepts.”

“So how are the meetings still happening? Aren’t they all like super old by now?”

“Oh they’ve been dead for a long time now, all except Dream. So they pass down their rank upon their death, usually placing some sort of claim to indicate who's next. So Phil, Technoblade, and I are all pirate lords technically, but in order to avoid us banding together to push a certain vote, we all have one collective vote, so we three count as one pirate lord overall. And when we three eventually pass it’ll be you who takes our place.” He pauses to snort, “Dream wasn’t wrong when he called it nepotism.”

“When you pass?”

The older man flinches, a barely concealed wince as he tries to cover it up with an awkward smile, “It won’t happen for a loooong time, don’t worry. You’ll be super old by the time it comes around”

“...I grow up fast, I’ll also be old in no time”

“That's different Toms. You’ll even out at like 20 and hang out there for a while, we might even end up the same age for a little bit.” He tugs the boy into a half hug, “We can piss off your dad together. Now c’mon there’s another dragon hybrid on Dream’s ship who's gonna love you.”

---

Tommy does not think that Bad likes him. 

Well...he just keeps telling Tommy off each time he swears and he can’t help that, he was raised by pirates for Primes sake. But the older man just shakes his head and says he’ll push back the transforming lesson further each time it happens. 

So far it's been pushed back for at least 4 years. 

Tommy doesn’t even know if the mans telling the truth about transforming even being possible, but it gets the boy to snap his mouth shut after the umpteenth warning.

Bad only gives him a soft smile before continuing to point out parts of his wings, the leathery skin stretched across the different bones. There’s a few differences between the two’s bodies. While Tommy is a water dragon hybrid, Bad’s from a place called the nether, a place he describes as void of water, scattered rocky surfaces being the only reprieve from the lava lakes, bastions, and strongholds littered with other dangerous mobs.

Bad lingers on the bastion mention for a moment, explaining some of Technoblade’s origins, protective sounder and their hordes of gold, Brutes who patrol the hallways making sure everything stays secure from enemies, the humans who try to raid the bastions and end up with their insides draped covering the outside walls to serve as a warning. 

The man zones out for a moment after his explanation, fog over his eyes until he finally seems to blink it away, “Sorry about that Tommy,” a gentle smile, “Where was I?”

While Bad’s wings are fully leathery with sharp claws at the end of each ‘finger’ bone, Tommy’s have patches of scales mixed in and no claws at their ends. His ‘bones’ are also slightly softer, made of cartilage Bad says. Weaker than the actual bones that Bad has, but they’re more adapt for quick healing and quicker movements, specifically through water, but Bad says the lighter weight will help with his speed on land too. 

And when the older man sneaks Tommy off towards the back of the ship, away from where Wilbur and Dream are talking near the front, Tommy feels the respect finally setting in.

“Wings spread as far as you can,” Tommy closes his eyes as he stretches them out, letting them be guided this way and that as Bad walks around him to shift them down slightly and push the wing tips away from curling in on themselves.

When he deems them properly arranged he does the same with his own wings, moving to stand on the railing of the ship, smiling widely as the wind catches on them and then he jumps.

Tommy lets out a gasp and stumbles to the railing himself, pressing his weight down on his arms so he can lean over the rail just in time to see Bad gliding across the winds, a loud whoop of glee when a fish splashes in the water nearby him. 

As he gets closer to the surface he gives a few flaps of his wings, slowing his descent before the wind tosses him backwards, dropping him down into the ocean as he curls his wings in on himself. 

He turns back to where Tommy still has his mouth dropped open in awe, lifting an arm to beckon the boy towards where he’s staying in the water. 

Tommy stares down at the railing, eyes wide in fear but he still climbs up onto the edge.

There’s a stutter when he begins to open his wings the first time, where the wind catches and he nearly falls off the rail, arms flailing wildly for balance until he can right himself. 

He can’t help the gasp that leaves his mouth. 

Tommy’s no stranger to the beauty of the sea, growing up on it with a pirate as a father? He doesn’t think he could ever not see it. But from here on this railing, seeing the still early morning sun illuminating the Crows Nest from where it rests a bit away from Dream’s ship.

Seeing the way the sky is still slightly red, knowing he’ll only be allowed above deck during the storm if he gets tied to the stair railing “to stay safe while you practice,” Technoblade always says. Phil always snickers and pulls up photos of young Tommy in his little baby carrier through the storms of his life when he tries to protest, “You’ve got ages before he thinks you’re old enough to stand on the deck during a storm untied.”

He laughs at the memory, taking a last stuttered breath before he snaps his wings out, adjusting them out like Bad had, imagining hands trailing over his wings and moving them into place. 

And with one last nervous look to Bad, he jumps.

His eyes are snapped closed when he feels himself free falling,

1.

2.

3.

And then the wind catches under his wings.

He can hear Bad’s loud whoop of glee and that’s what pushes Tommy to open his eyes, his own startled laughter pushing out of his throat as he glides across the air.

By the time his wings had spread, he’d fallen nearly half the height between the railing and the sea. He tilts down slightly as he goes, grinning madly as he stretches his hand out to skim over the top of the water. The droplets spattering back into his face as he goes. 

His landing is nowhere near as graceful as Bad’s had been.

He doesn’t even get a chance to copy Bad’s flapping that eased him into the ocean, instead slamming straight down against the water in possibly the worst belly flop ever. 

Bad is still quick to praise though, hands reaching out to grasp Tommy’s face as they both let out matching screams of excitement, rocking back and forth with each other as they tread the water.

“THESEUS CRAFT”

And oh fuck there it is. 

Both dragons freeze, twin looks of fear replacing the previous glee, before they turn with sheepish grins towards the ship. 

His dad is stood on the deck of the Crow’s Nest, hands resting on his hips with an angry glower on his face, Phil stood to his left with his wings spread, ready to take flight.

“Fuck” Tommy mutters. Bad’s whispered “Language,” is met with a long groan from Tommy in response. 

Which is made longer when he sees Phil take off from the side of the Crow’s Nest, arms outreached to easily scoop Tommy up out of the water, nose wrinkling up as the front of his clothes are soaked through by Tommy’s own.

“You know you aren’t supposed to be flying yet, mate,”

“It wasn’t even flying, I was gliding. And anyways, Bad said-”

“Do you think Techno is going to care what Bad said?”

Tommy huffs, turning his head to look down at the sea instead of the impending doom known as his dad’s pissed off face. 

He waves to Bad as the other man takes off towards his own ship, landing next to Dream, where both men raise arms to wave back, not stopping even as their ship begins to dunk back down into the ocean.

---

“It’s not going to be useful to storm off to your room when you share a room with the person you’re avoiding.” Technoblade’s voice is all snark, but the underlying anger still leaks in when Tommy tries to duck past him towards the stairs leading below deck. 

Tommy stops where he is, slowly turning back to Technoblade, big smile already placatingly on his face as he holds up his hands, “I wasn’t sneaking! Just…avoiding you until you calmed down,”

Technoblade’s never been impressed by his sass, always having something to mutter under his breath about letting Wilbur babysit him too often while Technoblade was doing captain duties, and he hasn’t changed his mind since the last time something like this happened.

“I’m furious Tommy, I doubt this’ll be done by dinner.”

“…Then I’ll see you tomorrow morning and sleep in the office?”

Clara must be watching because Wilbur calls out an alert for a storm on the horizon in the moment, Tommy can’t even hide his smile of glee as he takes off towards the barrels near the mast to scoop up a length of rope, running back to shove it in Technoblade’s arms and taking his place next to the stairwell. Sat on the floor of the deck, back against the support pole, and hands folded in his lap as he leans his head down in prayer.

There’s a moment. A beat that passes. Before Technoblade lets out a huff and his hoof steps sound closer as he takes up his spot behind Tommy to loop the rope around his chest and through the bars of the stairs. 

The man presses a kiss to the top of the boys head, unseeing of the small smile that interrupts Tommy’s usual straight face he has during prayer, before Technoblade is off, shouting orders and shifting sails with the remnant feeling of his hand ruffling through Tommy’s hair guiding Tommy into a deeper state. 

—-

Prayer with Clara is interesting.

One moment he’s on the ship he’s known his whole life and next he’s floating above it, settled near the clouds as the storm rolls in and a woman’s voice comes with it. 

He can’t understand her voice, instead relying on the tones and volume of her voice and the graphic visions she pushes into his brain to figure out what she wants him to do, what she needs him to do. 

And today it’s just to observe as she pushes around in his brain.

A flash and then a brick room with bars against the only opening.

A flash and a heavily scarred face.

A flash and a small knife being pressed against his side, slipping underneath a scale. 

Another flash.

It’s a glimpse of his fathers face before blood splatters and Tommy can feel the way it splashes against his face, blinding him as it gets in his eyes.

A wounded tone takes on Clara’s voice and he feels her hands press against his forehead, pulling him from the vision and shoving him back into his own body. 

He comes to gasping for air and struggling against the bonds of rope, screaming out nonsense until his dad is back, untying the knot and gathering the boy into his arms, shushing him gently as he carries him below deck and back into their cabin.

It takes well into mid-day before the storm ceases and Tommy can begin to calm his shaky sobs, pressed tightly against the older man's chest as his own chest physically aches from the desperate heaving, trying to pull air back into his lungs while he shivers.

Technoblade holds him through the entire thing, rocking him gently and running his free hand through the boy's hair. At one point both hands are in his hair, gently unweaving and retying up the braid that permanently stays in the boy's hair. 

He feels more than hears the moment Technoblade slips a ring off his fingers to tie into the braid as well, no doubt golden with an emerald to contrast. 

And when his sobs finally cease he’ll stay pressed against his father, curling up to feel smaller, trying to ignore the implications of what Clara has shown him.

Notes:

FINALLY SOME FUCKIN PLOT HELL YEAH

Okay so heads up n all, Technoblade, Wilbur, n Philza all obvi see each other as family, and due to cough cough plot reasons, only Phil had a last name so the rest of them just decided Craft was the family name, hence why Tommy’s last name is Craft.

Hope y’all enjoyed it!! Thank you for all the patience with my upload schedule :)

Self promo! Add me on twitter @/ karxuss bc i want friends (heads up I’m 18 so please don’t message me if you’re young)

Notes:

Hello!

Add me on twitter @/karxuss or discord @/scoops#8782!
I want more mcyt friends to talk to :)