Chapter Text
It was very dark.
Wylan was nestled between a pair of tree roots, curled in on himself like a shell. He kept his eyes shut, drifting in and out of sleep, or something like forced unconsciousness. His body was an alloy of different types of pain. Parched throat, wretchedly empty stomach. The dull discomfort of his bruised ribs. The sharper ache of his ankle, broken or sprained. Whatever it was, it hurt like hell, and Wylan couldn’t walk on it.
His thoughts turned in slow, hazy circles. He ought to move. He ought to crawl. Dig his hands into the dirt and pull himself out of the darkness.
But he’d already tried crawling. His hands were covered in scrapes and mud.
He just wanted to stay there, leaning against his tree. Maybe if he stayed still long enough the roots would grow over him and pull him inside. He felt like it would be warm and soft inside a tree, if he were a part of it. If his bones were replaced with wood.
Even to himself, he knew that he wasn’t making any sense.
A cold raindrop landed right on the top of Wylan’s head, startling him out of his thoughts. It was enough to rouse him but not enough to make him move. He kept his eyes shut.
Not safe, his mind whispered. You’re not safe here. He pushed the thoughts away. He tried to think about the castle instead. Moving staircases. And moving portraits. Everything moved, really; Wylan always felt like the corridors were playing an elaborate joke on him and shifting their order every time he was late to class. Yes, everything moved. Teachers and students. Fast and slow. Wylan was a slow sort. He liked to linger. Everyone else seemed faster. Jesper was faster. A faster walker, talker, flyer. Quick to draw his wand. Awfully clever. If he were here he might tease Wylan, for being so tired. Wylan could feel himself being drawn gently back and forth over the threshold of sleep.
He kept thinking about Jesper– or perhaps he was dreaming about him now. There was no way to tell. In the dream, Jesper was making sparks fly out of his fingertips. His smile was so wide that Wylan felt like he had to return it. No one smiled as wide as Jesper. It was a lovely thing. Wylan always wondered if Jesper had picked out his smile for himself, to make it as warm as possible. No one else ever asked or noticed or cared, though, so Wylan had to pretend like he didn’t either.
Because hey, they all went to a school of magic. No one else thought much of it when Jesper showed up with blue eyes instead of brown one day, and no one was close enough to notice the phase he’d gone through in his third year where he’d splashed dark freckles across his own skin like stars. He was taller than almost everyone by several centimeters– who was going to notice if it changed a bit, day by day?
Wylan had noticed.
When he’d arrived at the school as a first year, shivering with fright and excitement, he’d thought Jesper was the nicest-looking boy he’d ever seen. That had never gone away, even though Wylan was a year younger, even though Jesper was a Hufflepuff and Wylan was a Ravenclaw. They didn’t share classes, or friends. They hardly ever spoke. But Wylan had nursed a foolish infatuation nonetheless, one that allowed him to notice Jesper’s strange, fickle appearance.
He’d never asked Jesper about it. He wished he had. He should have said how much he had liked Jesper’s dark freckles. He should have said how startling Jesper looked with blue eyes.
In the dream, Wylan reached through the sparks to put his hand on Jesper’s jaw. He was close enough to kiss. Maybe it wasn’t a dream, but a memory. There was no way to know the difference. It seemed familiar. Maybe Wylan had done this before. Or maybe he had dreamt it so many times that it felt like a memory, like a stone worn smooth in someone’s hand.
“Wylan,” someone said. Wylan didn’t open his eyes. He was dreaming. Jesper wouldn’t be here.
But then there were hands on his shoulders, his chest, one circling his wrist. “Wylan,” the voice said again, more urgently. “Wy, come on. Rennervate.”
Warmth spread over his chest. Wylan felt like he’d been lowered into a pool of hot water. He cracked open his eyes. Jesper was crouched over him, looking terrified. Both of his soft hands came up to frame Wylan’s face.
“That’s it,” Jesper murmured. “Hello, sunshine.”
“Jesper,” he tried to say. His throat was like a cracked stone.
“Is he okay?” another voice whispered.
“He looks alive,” a third voice said, colder.
“Kaz?” Wylan tried to say. His voice broke again and he started to cough.
“Shh, shh,” Jesper whispered. He pulled Wylan forward into a gentle embrace and rubbed a hand down his spine. He was so warm Wylan could have cried. He buried his face in the crook of Jesper’s neck. “We’ve got you, Wy,” Jesper was saying. “You’re okay.”
“Under the threat of expulsion, but okay,” someone said. It sounded like Nina. Wylan wanted to laugh. What an absurd group had come to find him! He had to be dreaming. Or maybe he was dead.
“We need to get back,” a new voice said. Inej? Wylan wasn’t sure. “It’s almost dawn.”
“Are you okay to move?” Jesper murmured in Wylan’s ear.
“He doesn’t have a choice,” Kaz said.
Wylan looked up and met Kaz’s dark eyes with his own. “I can move,” he said. His voice was faint and raspy. “Not walk. My ankle…”
Kaz’s expression darkened.
“I can make you a splint,” Nina said. She knelt next to Jesper and Wylan. In her red Gryffindor robes, she was the brightest thing Wylan had seen in days. “Which ankle, Wylan?”
Jesper moved away to let Nina work, but he didn’t go far, and he didn’t take his hand off Wylan’s shoulder. Wylan was grateful. He felt like he would fly to pieces without something to ground him. He still couldn’t believe they were here.
He looked up and found Kaz staring at him still. “How?” he whispered. He couldn’t manage any other words, but Kaz seemed to understand. How did you find me?
Kaz knelt too, so their eyes were level with each other. “I found Gerrigan and Shay,” he said softly. His voice radiated anger. “I got them to talk. We came as soon as we could.”
“He also put them in St. Mungo’s,” Inej said dryly. She was standing behind Kaz with her arms crossed. “They shouldn’t bother you again.”
“They won’t,” Wylan said. “Poisoned them both. Bastards.” He started to cough again.
“How did you manage to poison them while being captured?” Nina asked. She had done something to Wylan’s ankle that had numbed it before she conjured ropes for the splint.
Wylan tried to shrug. “I always carry something,” he muttered. At his side, Jesper laughed softly. Wylan felt Jesper’s hand move into his hair and tangle itself in the dirty curls. He tried to turn away, embarrassed.
“That’s all I can do here,” Nina said. The splint around his ankle looked as neat as could be, but he was numb nearly to his knee. “Can you stand?”
“Yeah.” Wylan tried to pull himself to his feet. Jesper dragged him most of the way up, and kept an arm around him once he was standing. Wylan was too grateful for the support to try and shrug him off. His vision spun and darkened for a moment, but he gritted his teeth and ignored it.
“We should go,” Kaz said. He had his head turned away from the rest of the group. “It won’t be long before the sun starts to rise.”
“Here, Wylan,” Inej said quietly. She was holding out his wand.
Wylan did almost start to cry then. He reached out for it desperately. Gerrigan and Shay had hit him and tied him up and abandoned him, but none of it compared to the moment when they had ripped his wand from his fingers. He had felt thoroughly powerless.
He never wanted to feel like that again. He wrapped his hand around the handle of his wand and took a deep breath.
“How did you get that off Radmakker?” Nina asked, impressed.
Inej just shrugged. “Kaz and I stole it.”
“I barely had a hand in the operation,” Kaz said. “Your thanks should go to Inej, not to me.”
“Thank you, Inej,” Wylan said. “And you, Kaz. And Nina. And Jesper, god.” He swiped angrily at his eyes again.
“Make sure you thank Matthias, too,” Nina chimed in.
“Matthias?”
“He would have been here,” Jesper said. “He got detention. But he’s been helping us.”
“And he’s waiting for us,” Kaz broke in. He pushed forward until he was directly in front of Wylan. “Ready?”
Wylan steeled himself. “Yes.”
“Then let’s go.”
“Someone should send a Patronus to Matthias,” Inej said.
“I’ll do it,” Nina offered. “He’ll recognize mine.” She pulled out her wand and made a face of intense concentration. Whatever memory she was focusing on brought the tilt of a smile to her mouth. “Expecto Patronum.”
Her silver cardinal Patronus burst from the end of her wand and took off through the trees. Within moments its bright glow was impossible to see through the gloom and dark branches.
Jesper kept one arm around Wylan, bearing most of the shorter boy’s weight and they moved slowly thought the trees. Wylan’s head hung down. The lingering effects of Jesper’s spell were leaving him, and he felt more exhausted and hurt than ever.
He felt a light brush on one of his shoulders. “We should have brought him something to eat,” Nina fretted. “He’s been out here since Thursday night.”
“What day is it?” Wylan whispered in Jesper’s ear.
“Monday night,” Jesper murmured back. “Or Tuesday now, really. It’s way past midnight.”
“We need to keep moving,” Kaz said. His pale face was almost shining in the gloom on the Forest. He was surprisingly dexterous with his cane, using it to help him navigate around rocks and tree roots and uneven patches of ground.
Wylan supposed they had left some trail for themselves, to help them navigate back. He wished he had thought to do so when he was being bundled through the trees. Leave a trail of breadcrumbs. Or stones. Wasn’t that what people did? He couldn’t remember.
“Stay with me,” Jesper said in his ear. “Wylan? Wy?”
Wylan slipped sideways into unconsciousness again.
When he woke up, Specht was staring at him.
It took Wylan several long moments to orient himself. He was lying on a clean white bed, not curled in between tree roots. Most of the aches and pains on his body were duller now, as were the sensations of hunger and thirst. And the light had changed. Instead of the pervasive gloom of the Forest, the air was filled with the burnt orange color of sunset.
The light cut across Specht’s face in impressive stripes where he was sitting, slouched in a chair with his eyes fixed on Wylan. Wylan turned his head and saw a long row of identical white beds. Hospital wing, then. That’s where he was. Rotty was sitting on his other side, dozing in a chair.
Wylan looked back at Specht and asked, “Jesper?” His voice was low and rough.
Specht wrinkled his nose, looking horrified. “Merlin, no.”
“No, I meant– where is he?”
“Oh.” Specht relaxed. “They’re all in Brum’s office, getting expelled.”
The sunlight was shining directly on his face, setting his eyes alight with a brilliant orange color. Rotty’s hair looked like it was on fire, but he still appeared to be sleeping.
“They can’t,” Wylan said. He tried to sit up. “They can’t get expelled, they saved me.”
Specht didn’t even get out of his chair; he leaned over, put one hand flat on Wylan’s chest, and pushed him back down onto the bed. “You’re not supposed to be moving,” he said primly. “Genya’s orders. Ordinarily I wouldn’t give a damn what her orders are, but Kaz also suggested it would be prudent for you to stay put.” He shrugged. “I trust his judgement.”
“Even though he’s about to get expelled?”
“You know, you’re right. I don’t trust his judgement at all.” Specht looked down the hospital wing like he was expecting someone to come bursting through the doors. “Cryptic bastard. You’re still not allowed to get up, though,” he added, seeing Wylan move out of the corner of his eye.
“I can’t let them get expelled,” Wylan argued.
“They’re not going to,” Rotty muttered, opening his eyes. He yawned widely and stretched.
“It was actually quite noble of them to go find you, of course,” Specht said with distaste. “Also, Brum doesn’t want to offend the Helvar or Brekker families, though why he would care about the Helvars is beyond me, they’re a nasty lot. I would know. I’m related to most of them.” He sighed theatrically.
“They’re all in trouble for sneaking out into the Forest,” Rotty said quietly. “Except for Helvar, he’s in trouble for being a co-conspirator or something. But they’ve made it very clear that it was out of concern for you, so.” He cleared his throat. “Very unlikely that they’ll actually be expelled.”
“You could help, of course,” Specht said. He was paging absently through a magazine he’d found somewhere. “Make sure Brum knows you would have died without their help. You could even cry a little.”
“That’s how Specht passes all his exams,” Rotty said, straight-faced. “He’s giving you his best insider’s tips.”
“Kindly fuck off, Rotty, dear.”
Wylan pushed his pillows up against the headboard of the white bed and sat up, ignoring Specht’s frown. “What day is it?” he asked.
“Still Tuesday,” Rotty said. “You’ve been out the entire day, and your merry band of misfits have been in interrogation since you all got back.”
“They should be here soon,” Specht added. “You woke up just in time.”
Wylan pulled the covers up over his chest a little more firmly. “Why are you two here?” he asked. He wished he could have woken up with someone else watching over him. Someone whose snide conversation didn’t give him a headache.
“Kaz wanted someone to sit with you. Also Fahey was raising a fuss, saying you shouldn’t be left alone.” Rotty rolled his eyes. “As if you were in danger in the hospital wing. Honestly I’d love to see someone try and go against Genya. They’d be annihilated.”
“For once, I agree with you,” Specht said pensively. Before he could say anything else, the door to the hospital wing opened.
Jesper stood frozen in the doorway for one moment, staring. Then someone shoved him from behind and the whole crew came spilling into the hall. “Wylan!” Nina called, as soon as she saw him sitting up.
She and Jesper ran along the rows of beds to get to him, followed closely by Matthias. Kaz followed at a slower pace, grimacing as he set his weight against his cane. Inej stayed at his side, but her eyes were dancing with delight when she looked at Wylan.
“I think this is my cue to leave,” Specht said calmly, standing up. “I hate reunions.”
Wylan barely heard him. Jesper was there, he was there and he was fine, sitting right on the edge of Wylan’s bed and ruffling Wylan’s hair. “Hello, sunshine,” Jesper said, wiggling his eyebrows. “Miss me?”
Wylan reached out and hugged him. Then he held out an arm to Nina too, who gladly joined in from the other side. Their embrace was warm and gentle and Wylan wished he could stay in that moment forever, wished he could trap it in glass and keep it for as long as he lived.
When he finally looked up he saw that Matthias and Inej had taken the chairs abandoned by Specht and Rotty. Kaz was standing at the end of the bed like a sentinel, with his hands folded neatly atop his cane. “Good job on not dying,” he said dryly, when Wylan met his eyes. “I would have hated to go through all that trouble for nothing.”
Matthias buried his head in his hands. Wylan just smiled. “You would have missed me,” he said.
“I would have missed your potion brewing,” Kaz corrected.
“Kaz is determined to be unsentimental,” Inej said. She had her legs curled up beneath her in her chair. “Welcome back, Wylan.”
She looked exhausted. They all did. Wylan glanced around at them all, smile fading. “And are you all okay?” he asked worriedly. “Specht said Brum wanted to expel you.”
“He wanted to, but he didn’t,” Nina said. “We’re basically heroes right now.”
“We have detention for the next two months, though,” Jesper added. “But we each got fifty points for our houses!”
“Which is categorically unfair, if you ask me,” Kaz said. “There are two Gryffindors and two Hufflepuffs, but only one of me.”
“Don’t be too upset, Kaz,” Wylan said. “It’s not like I earned anything for Ravenclaw by letting myself get fucking kidnapped.”
Their smiles dropped, or became strained. Jesper carefully but gracelessly shoved Wylan over a bit so he could sit next to him on the bed.
“Do you know why they went after you?” Nina asked softly.
Wylan ducked his head. “I caught them terrorizing a first year,” he muttered. “They had him hung upside down by his ankle and were taking turns hexing him. I intervened. It didn’t go well.” He rubbed absentmindedly at a bruise on his arm, feeling foolish.
“Was he okay?” Matthias asked. “The first year?”
“Yeah, he got away.” Wylan swallowed. “I figured it would be better if they went after me. I’m useless in a duel, though, and the only poison I had on me was slow-acting.”
Jesper and Matthias both looked murderous. So did Kaz, but he usually did anyway. Nina looked ready to kill a man. Inej had fallen asleep in her chair. Seeing her reminded Wylan how exhausted he was. Someone had tended to all his cuts and scrapes, but he still felt worn-out and ragged. The edges of his mind were raw. He felt that if he thought too hard about what had happened he would fly into a panic attack.
“We should let you sleep,” Matthias said, breaking the momentary silence. “Genya said you should stay here overnight.”
“Where is Genya?” Nina asked, looking around.
“She was called up to report on Wylan’s injuries,” Kaz said. “She’ll be back soon.”
“How do you even know that?” Matthias complained.
Kaz shrugged. “I just listen. Most people do, you know.”
“Yes, but none of them are Kaz fucking Brekker,” Matthias said.
Kaz raised both dark eyebrows. “That sounds like a compliment.”
Matthias just shook his head, but there was a ghost of a smile on his face. Wylan felt like something monumental had happened while he was missing.
“Well, I’m too tired to move,” Jesper said grandly. He wiggled around until he was lying flat on the hospital bed, curled against Wylan’s side. “Guess I’ll just have to stay here.”
“You’re a disgrace, Fahey,” Matthias said, standing up. He stopped talking when he saw Wylan gently run his fingers through Jesper’s hair.
“I just remembered I have urgent business to attend to in the dining hall,” Nina said, sliding off the bed. “Though I should get this one back to Gryffindor Tower first,” she added, looking at Inej.
Inej was still curled in the chair, gently sleeping. Kaz stepped over to look at her. For a moment it seemed like he was going to pick her up and carry her himself, but he didn’t do anything of the sort. He just shook his head and stepped away again. “She might fight you if you try to pick her up,” he warned Matthias.
“We shouldn’t wake her, though,” Nina said.
Matthias just shrugged and very carefully leaned down to lift Inej out of the chair. Kaz watched the entire exchange with a flat, impassive expression, but Wylan didn’t miss the way his fingers tightened on his cane. Inej didn’t stir. She looked smaller than usual, bundled in Matthias’s arms.
Matthias looked at Nina. “I’ll walk you back to Gryffindor Tower,” he said quietly. Nina nodded. After she gave Wylan another brief hug, the three of them left the hospital wing. All Wylan could see, past Matthias’s broad shoulders, were Inej’s slender feet and the dark curtain of her hair.
“You’re just going to let Matthias steal your girl like that, Kaz?” Jesper asked, grinning.
“I will hex you,” Kaz said flatly. “Inej doesn’t belong to me.”
He was still standing at the foot of the bed, staring towards the doors. The sunset was in its full glory by then, and it lit his white shirt up a brilliant gold against his black robes. Wylan blinked at him sleepily.
“It’s not like you can’t brew a damn potion, Kaz,” he said. “You don’t need me just for that.”
Kaz turned to look at him. His face was like warm amber in the light.
“Thank you for coming to find me,” Wylan added. “I would have literally died.”
He felt Jesper’s hand curl around one of his wrists protectively. When Wylan glanced down, Jesper had moved his head to kiss Wylan’s knuckles.
“You should both get some sleep,” Kaz said. “Jesper, don’t forget that you have a detention to serve in the morning.”
“Yes, mother,” Jesper said. Then he yelped as Kaz shot a stinging hex right at his knee.
“I did warn you,” Kaz said. He slipped his wand up his sleeve and began to limp towards the doors without another word. Wylan listened to the familiar cadence of his soft footsteps and the sharp tap of his cane against the stone floor until it faded away.
“Bastard,” Jesper was muttering, rubbing at his knee. “Kicking a man when he’s down. I’ve been through a lot today.”
Wylan scooted down until he could lay properly on the bed and pressed his face to Jesper’s shoulder. “It’s how he shows affection,” he said drowsily. “Through mild physical violence.”
Jesper snorted. “You think he’d do something like this to Inej?”
“Of course not,” Wylan said. He could feel sleep crashing into him like a wave against the shore. “I said affection, not love. He does that differently.”
“Are you saying Kaz doesn’t love me?”
“I’m saying Kaz’s love isn’t the one you should be worrying about right now,” Wylan said. He reached out blindly and caught Jesper’s hand in his own. Jesper kissed his knuckles again, and Wylan hummed, pleased. “Sorry you got detention,” he whispered.
“No worries, sunshine,” Jesper murmured back.
The bed was very warm. Wylan blinked. He could feel a sort of low heaviness in his chest, a casual reminder of the horrific experience of being lost in the Forest, alone. He was going to have to deal with that. He was going to have to confront the aftereffects and trauma. He’d had nightmares mixed in with his crazed imaginings while he was in the dark, and he wouldn’t be surprised if they still clung to him now that he was free.
But he didn’t want to face any of that yet. He was tired of crying, or paranoia. He was tired of everything. He wanted something gentle to keep for himself.
Wylan tugged on the collar of Jesper’s shirt with his free hand. He didn’t want to fall asleep yet, but he was powerless against his own drowsiness. “Jesper,” he whispered. “Will you kiss me?”
And Jesper did. His mouth was very soft. Wylan moved his hand from Jesper’s collar to the back of his neck and held him there. He was too shy to anything with his tongue or teeth; he’d hate it if Jesper thought he was bad at this. Because Wylan thought it was brilliant. It was the nicest thing to ever happen to him. He felt like he could kiss Jesper forever.
Jesper moved back a bit, so their noses were brushing. “You’re a marvel,” he said, and he ran one hand comfortingly down Wylan’s spine. “Go to sleep, yeah? I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Wylan slept. His last impression was of a brand-new kiss pressed to the center of his forehead.