Work Text:
The- presumably the governing body- of the miniature city under lane five of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex had dispersed their soldiers all throughout Night Vale. Those tiny warriors, making slow progress in the vast and alien landscape of the world above, spread their small campaign of terror- slowly, but with unwavering tenacity- all around town.
They had set up a soldier's encampment on the stairwell that led up to Carlos's laboratory and the rented rooms above it- and Cecil went up the stairs as quickly as he could- avoiding eye contact with the soldiers- and stomping vigorously with every step he took; as all citizens had been directed to do by the City Council, as a precautionary measure.
At the door Cecil checked his texts, a trifle nervously, and knocked- not so softly as to be inaudible and not so loudly as to be rude. He could hear his own voice drifting out from behind the closed door:
"A famous Friedrich Nietzsche quote goes, '...And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.' The simple truth of the matter is, listeners, that the abyss is returning your stare because it thinks you're being insufferably rude. Regardless of what the abyss is or is not wearing, you have been looking into it for an overly long time now, and you are making the abyss uncomfortable. Please remember that personal boundaries extend to prolonged and unsolicited eye contact, regardless of whether or not the thing you are looking at actually has eyes-"
The door swung open and there was Carlos- looking slightly rumpled, and distracted- and glorious. Awe-inspiringly glorious. Cecil brought one hand involuntarily up to his heart. His phone clattered to the ground- and he bent quickly to scoop it up, lest it be sucked in to a pocket universe between the floorboards.
"I thought you were doing your show right now," Carlos said- and then he looked anxiously behind Cecil- probably for approaching denizens of the underground city- and waved him in, closing the door firmly.
"Oh, Carlos, you look- like really nice in that wrinkled laboratory coat," Cecil said- he hadn't thought the compliment out beforehand- or even meant to say it, really- he didn't want to be so consistently obvious, or anything- but Carlos smiled, and ducked his head, before gesturing between the radio and Cecil himself. "How are you doing that?" Carlos asked- his eyes alight with what Cecil could only imagine was scientific curiosity.
"I'm not," Cecil said. "I mean- I was- but I'm not now. Intern Calvin is doing it. By which I mean to say that Intern Calvin put the tape in- it's a repeat." Cecil always felt largely ineloquent around Carlos- which, thankfully, passed unremarked upon. If you called me ineloquent I would sink through the floorboards, like an errant cellphone, and exist for the rest of eternity in some lonely pocket universe, Cecil thought. Carlos nodded- not at the thought, Cecil reminded himself, with some relief. Carlos wasn't any sort of telepath, or anything, as far as Cecil knew. "A repeat," Carlos echoed, nodding. "I wondered why you kept wishing everybody a happy Yuletide. By my estimation-" here Carlos- endearingly- bit his lip, and did what seemed to be some kind of odd calculations on his fingers- "It's only August. I think." Carlos nodded again, tilting his head up. "I didn't know you were coming over," Carlos added- and Cecil frowned, chagrined. "I'm so sorry," Cecil answered, tucking his phone away in the pocket of his nicest poncho, and clasping his hands in front of himself."I- I didn't mean to show up unannounced. I- but when I asked you if we could spend my birthday together I-"
"Oh. Your birthday is today," Carlos said- and Cecil realized that he had not been clear on that point when he had texted Carlos about it, twenty minutes previously. "I'm using my one complimentary sick day, courtesy of Station Management- to be repaid in full at some unknowable future time of Station Management's choosing, of course," Cecil elaborated, apologetically. "I'm sorry. If you're in the middle of- of some experiment or some important thing-"
"No- no, Cecil, please stay. Happy Birthday," Carlos added- and he leaned in, and kissed Cecil, very nicely, on the cheek. Carlos had kissed Cecil six times, now- always gently, each time on the mouth or the face- and Carlos always leaned away, afterwards, with a look of concern that he could not quite hide. Cecil couldn't really imagine what the look was for- and he didn't feel right asking. Relationships were such tricky things, what with one person having feelings on one side and another person having entirely different feelings on the other side. Cecil wondered if that wasn't something Carlos might like to study, and opened his mouth to say so- but then shut it again, feeling silly and tongue-tied as he often did with Carlos. From the radio came Cecil's own voice:
"A friendly reminder that Yuletide Caroling is both dangerous and compulsory, this year," Radio-Cecil said. "The Sheriff's secret police are covertly distributing pamphlets with safety tips for surviving this obligatory holiday activity-"
"What do you want to do?" Carlos asked- he had filled two clean looking glass beakers with water- and he offered one to Cecil now, which Cecil took, and sipped at politely. "I can't invite you upstairs," Carlos said- and Cecil felt his heart sink under the weight of his own presumption- of course he really shouldn't have barged in on Carlos, who was undoubtedly busy.
"I have... lizards," Carlos said.
"Oh?" Cecil asked, doing his best to affect a neutral expression at this non sequitir. Carlos was gesturing for Cecil to follow him- and they walked down one of the long aisles formed by the countertops, to stand before a terrarium. In it, two lizards, like- frolicked, or something- whatever it was that lizards did- and Carlos peered at them. When Carlos bent forward, a few stands of hair fell over his left eye, obscuring it- and Cecil longed to touch that hair- to tuck the errant pieces behind the shell of Carlos's lovely ear- but then Carlos stepped away, and rummaged around on his cluttered worktable, coming back with a tiny piece of parchment. "There are hundreds more upstairs," Carlos said, facing him. "And they all have these tied on to their legs. Eventually I was able to determine that the lizards seem to be coming from the fireplace- which is bizarre to say the least- I never had a fireplace in my apartment before today-"
Cecil took the parchment when Carlos offered it, and examined it curiously- and then with dawning comprehension. It was a license for permanent town residency- inscribed in a rust colored, flaking ink- with a spot underneath, for a signature. "Oh, but this is great!" Cecil said, unable, for a moment, to contain his enthusiasm. "This is from the City Council!"
"That was my hypothesis, as well," Carlos said. His forehead creased, slightly, as if he were concerned- but, Cecil figured, that was probably just one of the myriad ways that Carlos expressed joy.
"I find the whole permanent resident thing a little ominous," Carlos elaborated, and Cecil nodded, happily. "Of course," Cecil answered, turning the paper around in his hands. "Ominous and wonderful. I told you- I know I've told you- how much everybody here values you- and- ah- and like, thinks of you as part of the community- and now the City Council, too!"
"Do you think I... have to sign it?" Carlos asked- and Cecil's heart sank, a little, in his chest. "Oh. Probably not?" Cecil said, in a small voice. "I- I guess we'll find out either way," he added, aiming to sound cheery and probably sounding merely dejected.
"Cecil," Carlos asked- setting one of the papers aside. "I'm sorry. What do you want to do for your birthday?"
"Why- spend it with you," Cecil answered, trying to forget his previous unhappiness. "Other than that I don't care."
"I'd get you a cake from that gluten free bakery-"
"Right, right. Roman's."
"-but I tried their- uh- their food- and everything they make tastes kind of like- like sawdust-"
"Sawdust, yes, that's on the list of approved wheat substitutes," Cecil agreed. Outside the door came a series of taps- like tiny spears hitting wood- and Carlos frowned- and grabbed a rolled up towel that had worked its way onto the cluttered surface of the countertop, striding with it to the door. "Ow," Carlos muttered- and he stuffed the towel into the gap underneath the door. "That keeps them busy," he told Cecil, over his shoulder. "They'll go back to their camp now. I tried to ask them if I could do an evaluation of one of their soldiers, but they seem- really aggressive- and I can't make out what they're saying." Carlos came back, to stand in front of Cecil again. Cecil loved- oh god, he could have written reams of government-mandated poetry on it- he loved that Carlos would stand near him, now- and touch him, and take his arm. That kind of thing. Physical contact. When they'd met, more than a year ago- Carlos had almost seemed- wary- of Cecil. During their first several encounters Carlos had stayed back- several feet. In fact on their first meeting Carlos had stood across the room entirely from Cecil, and given him strange looks- but later, when they had gotten to know each other better, Carlos had begun to get nearer- and gradually nearer, always with some look of caution on his handsome face.
Cecil couldn't imagine why. Except that it was Carlos- mysterious Carlos- and now, in light of how Carlos felt about him, Cecil had determined that it was probably some Scientist courtship-thing. Maybe some specific set of dating rules that you learned at Scientist School.
"I don't care what we do," Cecil said, again, because Carlos was looking at him expectantly. "I want to do whatever you were going to do already. Or what you want to do now. Or what you might want to do in the future, but think you should really get out of the way presently so that it doesn't come up again- at some possibly nonexistent, possibly predetermined eventual time or date-"
"I'd love to get a look at your teeth, actually," Carlos said, interrupting him- and Cecil- well, blushed- at hearing Carlos say the word love in any context.
"You mentioned that on our last date," Cecil said, smiling, and trying to ignore the heat that had risen to his face. He could deny Carlos nothing, certainly not these strange analytical bouts of whimsy- though it was kind of... a weird request. Inwardly Cecil was relieved that his mouth was clean and his hygiene impeccable. He had brushed his teeth quite thoroughly on the drive over, and thrown his toothbrush and toothpaste out of the car window and onto the street- to do his part and contribute to the ongoing, PTA-backed Community Trash and Litter Stockpile. "If that's what you want to do, Carlos, I think that would be great," Cecil added- and Carlos gave him an answering smile- and opened his laptop- and pulled on a pair of latex gloves. "Here, give me that," Carlos said- and he took the beaker-waterglass away from Cecil, putting it in one of the myriad wooden racks that adorned the space.
"I'm going to record this, for posterity," Carlos said, putting his hands upon a little recorder. Cecil longed to have Carlos's hands on him similarly. Oh, to be a digital recorder, resting in Carlos's clever fingers, Cecil thought, happily- and he sat back on a stool when Carlos indicated he should, leaning against the counter. "Someone keeps replacing all my voice recordings with sound clips of guttural howling," Carlos said. "And- if I film anything for documentation- my video clips get erased, and instead there're these shots on a loop of Julia Roberts fixing hand towels-"
"That's Sleeping With the Enemy," Cecil said, eager to offer up his knowledge. "The town acquired the rights to that and several other unmentionably terrible movies a few years ago. It's just the Sheriff's Secret Police censoring you- just like- regular procedural stuff."
"I figured," Carlos said, nodding. "But it always takes them at least three days to get around to erasing it- so if I record it first, and then transcribe it later-" Carlos balked, probably at Cecil's expression, and said, reassuringly: "I transcribe it with a brush. And acrylics. That's a painting implement, not a writing implement, Cecil, don't worry, I'm not violating the ban."
"Oh, okay, great," Cecil said- and Carlos turned the recorder on, and approached him. "Alright. My subject is- is my- is Cecil- and, uh, he's male, and a lifelong resident of Night Vale. Today is his birthday, and he's- how old are you today, Cecil?"
"I- oh-" Cecil squinted, thinking- and then shrugged, looking up at Carlos. "I can't remember. I suppose as you go through life, little things- like age- just get less and less important, don't you think?"
Carlos raised his eyebrows- the look of incredulity was so appealing on his countenance, really- and continued speaking into his recorder. "Cecil is... his age is- roughly- in his- late twenties to... hmmm. To mid-late-thirties- as far as I can tell. Somewhere in there. Oh, and the date is... August- uh-"
"Eighth!" Cecil interjected, pleased that he had, at least, answered one question, and didn't look like a complete idiot. "That's my birthday, August eighth," Cecil added, proudly- and then he grimaced, at the childish way his words sounded in his own ears.
"August 8th," Carlos said, saying the date numerically, instead of in the awkward, clunky way that Cecil had been saying it. "Alright. I'm gonna concentrate on some of the subject's... notable characteristics- starting with the first thing I ever observed about him- which I would deem unusual- his teeth."
Cecil felt a bit stung- he didn't think his teeth were unusual at all, really- and he gazed up at Carlos forlornly, as Carlos approached him, with a cotton swab. "I'm bucktoothed, is that it? Or do I- do I have a really pronounced overbite, or something?" Cecil asked- and Carlos shook his head no. "Of course not," Carlos said, as if it were obvious- and he pulled up another stool- and sat, facing Cecil.
"The subject- this is based on more than a year of personal observation- has what appears to be a mouth full of- of canines- each tooth is pointed at the end. From our interactions I can say this is not for purposes of some special diet- subject is not carnivorous, but from all evidence an omnivore and casual vegetarian. Subject has also denied ever having filed down his teeth- and- I think I can confirm-" here Carlos set down the cotton swab neatly on the counter- and brought one hand up, to Cecil's face. Cecil held very still, trying to play it cool- and Carlos traced one latex-covered finger along the corner of Cecil's mouth- and then pulled his lip to the side, leaning in, presumably to get a good look at his teeth. "Yes. I can confirm from the enamel that the subject has never filed his teeth. This- this is the other odd part, though-" and here Carlos ran one finger against Cecil's upper gumline, which tickled unbearably- "the teeth are all standard width- I see perfectly developed centrals, laterals, cuspids, bicuspids- there seem to be at least two extra teeth in the top row- extra- bicuspids, I think- but every single one terminates in what appears to be a very sharp point. Same for the bottom set- I- I want to get a saliva sample, and-" here Carlos removed his hand, grasping for his cotton swab, and Cecil was afforded the opportunity to speak. "I told you I've never filed down my teeth," Cecil said. "Why would anybody file down their teeth?"
"If I touch them, do you think I'll get cut?" Carlos asked, his eyebrows drawing together- and Cecil tried to keep it together, even though Carlos was gorgeous when he got that concentrated look. "Touch what?" Cecil asked, blankly- and Carlos leaned close to him again. Their faces were very close together- and Carlos's hair brushed against Cecil's cheek- and Cecil blinked, rapidly, at the protracted proximity. "Your teeth," Carlos said- and he handed Cecil the digital recorder. "Hold this? Thank you."
"Uh- why would my teeth cut you?" Cecil inquired, now feeling as if he had utterly lost the thread of Carlos's questioning. "Do you cut yourself on your own teeth when you touch them?" Cecil asked. It could be some kind of horrible affliction- a family curse, passed down, or vengeance from a wronged dentist or an evil tooth fairy or something. That seemed plausible. Cecil tried to see if he could recall any instance of Carlos ever-
"No," Carlos said, absently- his eyes were intent upon Cecil's lips. "Okay, open your mouth."
"Mmph," Cecil said- and Carlos ran the cotton swab against the inside of his cheek- and then leaned away, to put the swab in a vial. "Yeah. So, I've taken a sample..." Carlos said, vaguely- and he met Cecil's eyes again. "Are you sure you won't- hurt me?" Carlos asked- and Cecil nodded, vigorously. "I would never hurt you, Carlos, and I would never betray you," Cecil said, immediately. He wasn't certain what had provoked Carlos into this sudden- and highly emotional- line of inquiry- but Cecil was going to seize the opportunity. "And I'm really really glad you asked, because- I have a lot to say- mostly about how you're my- you're my favorite person- and I value you- and- and I love you- I know I love you as truly as I know that ancient, pitiless Gods watch our every movement from the dark places between the stars- and I really wish you would consider, like, signing that form and officially committing to Night Vale, so that I would know you weren't going to pick up and leave someday- because I want a- a really long-term thing with you-"
"I just meant- hey, Cecil- I just meant, do you think your teeth are going to hurt me?" Carlos said- and Cecil halted his flow of words. Oh no, how embarrassing, Cecil thought, in horror- but Carlos looked unfazed- actually- he was smiling, that near-grin that was Cecil's favorite smile in all the world. "No, my teeth are not going to hurt you," Cecil said, trying to sound nonchalant, even though he'd just made pretty much a complete idiot out of himself. "I don't know why you're so hung up on that idea," Cecil added, lightly- but Carlos was moving towards him, and putting both his hands, this time, to Cecil's face. "Open your mouth," Carlos said- and Cecil, trying not to blush again- complied. This time Carlos lightly traced Cecil's lips- with one glove-clad index finger- and then, with a look of determination, he ran the same finger against the bottoms of Cecil's teeth.
"Though they appear almost- razorlike- I can confirm that the subject's teeth are just- just like regular teeth, to the touch," Carlos said- and Cecil rolled his eyes, because, yeah, his teeth were regular- but then Carlos- he pushed his finger carefully into Cecil's mouth- and Cecil forgot every thought in his own head. "Mm. Not sharp to the touch," Carlos reiterated- and he pulled his finger back, leaving Cecil to take a shuddering breath.
"Uh..." Cecil said, helplessly- and Carlos leaned forward- and pressed his mouth to Cecil's lips this time- not a chaste kiss, not like the six previous kisses they had shared- but a deep kiss. Cecil could feel Carlos's tongue against his own- and he moaned, wordlessly, vibrating the shared air between them. "Oh, Carlos," Cecil said, breathlessly, when Carlos pulled back- and Carlos cleared his throat, and tugged at the collar of his appealingly rumpled shirt. Cecil was still clutching the voice recorder- his fingers were curled so tightly around it that he did not know if he could unclench them. "I was worried about that," Carlos said, when he pulled back- his voice was a little strained- and he peeled off his gloves- and looked Cecil up and down intensively. Cecil rocked in place on his stool, trying to gather his composure. "Wh-what were you worried about?" Cecil asked, falteringly- and Carlos, unbidden, pressed his bare hands to Cecil's temples- and stroked his fingers backwards, threading his hands through Cecil's hair.
It felt incredibly great- and Cecil closed his eyes against the onslaught of pleasing sensation. On the radio he heard his own voice, doing the horoscopes.
"Leo: Tomorrow the fish in your expensive saltwater aquarium will all perish in an unfortunate electrical incident. If you do not have a saltwater aquarium, one can be purchased downtown, at Jojo Erin's Aquatic Emporium, which is located across from the Subway, on Main Street. Ownership of a saltwater aquarium is now mandatory. Oh, listeners, I think this means that I, as a Leo myself, have to buy an aquarium! Now, normally I'm more of a dog person, but-"
Carlos withdrew his fingertips from Cecil's scalp, and Cecil opened his eyes slowly, bemoaning the loss of contact. Carlos was looking at him- his face full of some emotion that Cecil could not quite read- and then Carlos said, in a low tone: "I'd like to, um, do a full-body examination. And- check for... other points of interest. If that would be okay with you."
It was a euphemism, or something- Cecil was sure it was- and he nodded his assent, blushing intensely. "I'd like that," Cecil said, looking bashfully towards the floor.
"Oh, great," Carlos said, with relief audible in his bewitching voice- and he pried the recorder from Cecil's still-clenched fist. "You should take off your sweater. I can't believe you're wearing that. You must be so hot," Carlos said, indicating Cecil's poncho.
"You like it?" Cecil asked, looking down at the fabric. "It's mostly synthetic- a little alpaca wool. And some mammoth..." Cecil trailed off, as Carlos tugged on the hem of the garment with one hand. "Right," Cecil said- and he bent half-over on the stool, pulling the sweater over his head, and laying it carefully on the closest countertop. "Your shirt, too," Carlos said- and he rose to his feet- and hunched slightly over Cecil, one-handedly undoing the button at Cecil's throat. Cecil's heart started to hammer away frantically in his ears- and he fumbled with the remainder of the buttons, until he had pulled the shirt off, and sat, half-naked, on the precarious stool.
Carlos walked behind him- and Cecil shivered, at the abrupt sensation of Carlos's fingers trailing down his spine. "Subject has normal spine- by all appearances- normal curvature- the typical amount of vertebrae- hey, Cecil, hold your arms out-"
Carlos's touch raised goosebumps on his skin- and Cecil raised his arms, obligingly- and felt Carlos's fingers skate down his right shoulder. "Extreme hyperextension of the elbows," Carlos said- and he ran his fingers down the length of Cecil's arm, to wrap around his wrist. "Possible extra joint in the right wrist. Let me see if that repeats on the other side-"
Carlos came around to Cecil's front- probably to get to his other arm- but he paused, distractedly staring at Cecil's chest. "This is very interesting," Carlos said, into his recorder. "The subject appears to have two sets of collarbones- one about an inch under the other?"
"You know, if there was anything very weird about me I'm sure the Mystic who was present at my birth would have said something," Cecil interjected. He felt rather self-conscious, suddenly- but then Carlos's hands- warm, of course Carlos would be warm- were on his chest- and Cecil checked himself, so that he did not fall backwards off of his seat. "Gosh, that feels nice," Cecil said aloud- and Carlos smiled, without taking his eyes away from Cecil's body. "Uhm...let's see- double collarbones mean- and I'm going mostly on assumption here, as I don't have the equipment necessary to do an X-Ray- but it presumably means an elongated sternum- and scapula- hmm." Carlos was silent for a moment. "The heart seems to be... I don't know how to put this- it seems to be kind of to the right of where it should be, by a few inches-"
Carlos was running his hands up and down Cecil's abdomen, pressing with all the caution of scientific inquiry against his muscles- and Cecil's breath hitched. That was fine, because all breathing was voluntary, now, by town ordinance- but Carlos was so-
"I think you should get on the floor," Carlos said- and Cecil nodded. "I-I was about to fall on the floor anyways," Cecil stammered- and then Carlos- Carlos was shrugging off his attractively rumpled labcoat- Carlos was taking off his shirt-
Cecil sat on the floor, timing his breaths, and marveling at his rapidly beating heart. Cecil didn't take much stock in Carlos's talk of extra joints and doubled collarbones- but Carlos's body was unusual only in the fact that it was breathtaking.
"Oh," Cecil said, when Carlos knelt down on the floor, in front of him- and he pressed his palms to the skin of Carlos's chest, sighing in abject reverence. "You have a body like a fortress. No- like- like a citadel, you have a body like a spire, like a pinnacle to the top of the earth, like a ladder, like a miniature city underneath bowling lane five-"
Carlos leaned into Cecil's touch- breathing rather rapidly himself- and involuntarily, Cecil thought dizzily, feeling the rise and fall of Carlos's lungs beneath his fingers. Not that Cecil was going to report him, or anything- in fact there was something kind of daringly illicit about it-
Carlos was pushing him backwards- and Cecil complied with the wordless directive, feeling the floor come up solidly underneath his back. "Subject..." Carlos said, breathlessly- he was looking down, kneeling over Cecil- "Subject has some- unusual abdominal musculature-"
"I know, I never exercise," Cecil said, apologetically- and Carlos kissed his mouth again. There was no trepidation in this kiss. "Mmm, oh," Cecil said, when Carlos leaned away- and then Carlos moved, to kneel between his legs- he actually took Cecil's knees and pushed them apart, and if that wasn't the most- the most erotic thing that had just about ever happened in Cecil's life-
"Huh. I didn't note this, but I should mention the subject's skin," Carlos said- and he brought his dark head down- and kissed Cecil's lower abdomen, until Cecil gasped at the sensation."What color would you say your skin was, Cecil?" Carlos asked, almost conversationally, placing his mouth on the other side of Cecil's navel. Oh, my god, he's kissing me in symmetrical patterns, isn't that so organized, so- so scientific-
"I- ah- this isn't some kind of racial thing- ah- is it?" Cecil asked, trying to sound stern and missing by a mile. His own voice- humiliatingly- had crawled up into the lofty realms of 'high-pitched' and 'cracking'.
"Of course not," Carlos said, quite seriously. "I was just wondering what color- it's so hard to describe-"
"Well- if y-you're talking ancestry," Cecil said, "My maternal grandmother was supposedly from Luftknarp-" Cecil stopped speaking, watching as Carlos tugged at his belt.
"Is it all right," Carlos asked, lowly, "-if I-" He rubbed his hand suggestively down the front of Cecil's checkered slacks- and Cecil moaned, involuntarily, and arched into the touch. "Do a more thorough examination," Carlos finished, his voice husky, and Cecil nodded. Carlos was pulling Cecil's pants down- and Cecil helped him, shifting his body.
"Okay. S-subject is- Cecil?"
"Yes, I am the subject," Cecil said, affirmatively, and Carlos's face cracked into a wide smile. "No, I was asking you," Carlos elaborated- "Cecil. Do I need to be... emotionally prepared for anything- uh-" Carlos put his hands to the edge of Cecil's briefs- and Cecil's eyes fluttered shut, for a moment- but he forced them open. He wanted to look at Carlos, Carlos who he'd somehow won the affections of-
"There's no way to emotionally prepare yourself for- for falling in love with someone," Cecil said, honestly- and Carlos chuckled. "Yeah, not what I was asking-"
"I don't- hn- I don't get what you mean-" Cecil said- but Carlos, setting his jaw in an expression of beautiful determination- reached out- and peeled Cecil's boxers off of him.
"Listeners, I want to remind you that- even at this confusing and hectic time of year, when you may or may not be tragically drowned in a flash flood at the shopping mall-" Cecil heard his own voice, very distantly, crawling out of the radio. Carlos had finished undressing him- and he sat back on his heels, studying Cecil with a look of unrivaled intensity.
"Or if you are one of the brave souls who never makes it home from an evening of caroling-"
"You're- the subject has almost typical reproductive organs," Carlos said- and with one hand he ran his thumb along the underside of Cecil's erection.
"Oohh," Cecil moaned, at the sensation- "Oh- n-n-neat-"
"There's- hmm- uh- like an extra ridge on the shaft- three testicles- hard to say for certain, but I think it might-"
"What are you saying about me?" Cecil asked, trying to sound indignant- but his voice came out totally garbled.
Somewhere a few universes away- in some reality where Cecil was not pinned to the floor by Carlos, getting a thorough examination- he could hear his own voice, pitched low for dramatic effect, as he did his sign off.
"Goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight." Music started playing- it was an eleven-hour-long mambo composed by local vagrant Tucker Ashby. On Wednesday evenings he would do the piece in full, using garbage cans lids in lieu of instruments, in the alleyway to the left of the convention center-
"Ah," Cecil hissed- he was dragged from his irrelevant chain of thoughts back to the blissful, all-consuming Now, by the sensation of Carlos's hand wrapping around his penis.
"Pre-ejaculate fluid seems- entirely typical," Carlos said, weightily. "Yeah. Typical."
"Nnnphh. Oh my-" Cecil said- he wanted desperately to watch- looking at Carlos, hearing him speak, made everything a thousand- a hundred thousand- times more pleasurable- and yet the sensation was so overwhelmingly intense that he was forced to rest his head back on the floor.
Carlos was speaking above him, and still moving his fingers very deliberately, in that maddening rhythm. "Honestly I think I was expecting- tentacles, or more teeth, or something. I had prepared myself for-"
"If you- ah- want to see- hnn- t-tentacles and teeth I'm sure we could find some," Cecil offered, as coherently as he could manage with Carlos's hand on him. "If- if you ah- have any really darkly shadowed r-rooms- we could look in those-"
Carlos's hand disappeared abruptly- and Cecil hardly had time to bemoan the loss of contact before Carlos was laying over him, his body half-atop Cecil's. Carlos's weight pressed Cecil into the floor- and his thigh pushed between Cecil's legs, making him shift with pleasure. There was a small sound- Carlos setting down the voice recorder- and then Carlos kissed his mouth again- and Cecil willed himself not to go still and useless at the feeling- but to kiss back, instead. Then Carlos pulled away, and shimmied down Cecil's body, putting his nose to Cecil's skin.
"Subject's skin perpetually smells of ash- or charcoal?" Carlos said, into Cecil's neck. "Campfire?"
"Maybe it's my cologne," Cecil answered, nonsensically- he didn't even own cologne- and he hissed, when Carlos kissed his neck. Carlos moved further down his body- just a little further- and ran his tongue over Cecil's perfectly normal collarbones. "I- uh-"
"Do you remember what- what I said to you?" Carlos asked, lifting up his head, and looking Cecil squarely in the eyes.
"I remember everything you've ever said to me," Cecil said, emphatically- and Carlos raised an eyebrow, looking a bit incredulous- but no less handsome for it. "Do you remember- what I said to you a few weeks ago? On the day... on Jeremy Godfrey's birthday? About how sometimes you could- you could think something was- monstrous- only to find out, later-"
" 'Sometimes things seem so strange or malevolent- and then you find that, underneath, it was something else altogether. Something- pure, and innocent.' " Cecil quoted, in immediate reply- and Carlos's face softened, into the picture of sweetness.
"Yeah, that," Carlos said- and he pressed his mouth to Cecil's skin, again, tracing his tongue in a rough circle around Cecil's right nipple. "Ahh- ooh, that feels s-so good," Cecil said- and he pushed up against Carlos's body with his own, groaning at the friction between them.
"Mm. Yes," Carlos said- and when he looked back at Cecil his eyes were wide, and a little- misty? Not like literally misty, not like they were oozing clouds of thick cloying vapor, or anything- but more like Carlos had gotten pretty emotional. Cecil's throat felt tight, as if he were being compressed and constricted by love- and for a long moment they maintained eye contact, rocking together. "I used to feel so- uh, you made me- nervous- because-"
"Oh, you made me nervous too," Cecil assured him- and he let out a little gasping sound, when Carlos pushed his thigh really firmly against him. "I- honestly you still do, I feel absolutely tongue-tied around you."
"Yeah but- you're good- you know?" Carlos asked- and Cecil had no idea, really, what Carlos meant- but he acted like he did, nodding as sagely as he could, given that his body was shaking with desire. "Thank you. You're- ah- you're good, too," Cecil said- and he brought his hands up, to thread his fingers through Carlos's exquisitely soft hair. "Ugh, I love your hair," Cecil informed him, pausing to trace the premature streaks of grey at the temples- Carlos's hair was a bit more wiry there- and Cecil's fingertips moved forward, to stroke the curve of Carlos's ears and the lines of his square jaw.
"I want to make love to you," Carlos said- and before Cecil could reply Carlos was shaking his head, and grimacing. "That sounds so corny. I want to- I want us to sleep together. Have sex. Engage in intercourse. If you want-"
"I would love to make love with you," Cecil said, immediately- his heart was beating wildly again, like it wanted to claw through his chest and escape, off to wherever hearts go when they've abandoned the bodies that house them. I think they go to the bottomless chasm behind Dark Owl Records, Cecil thought. Over him Carlos was nodding, quite seriously. "I... do you think it's safe?" Carlos asked- and he propped himself up on one elbow- and traced his index finger across Cecil's lower lip.
"Safe?" Cecil echoed, confused. "Oh! Oh- there should be- the City Council should have put a... forgive my bluntness- a condom in your wallet at some point. You know they believe very strongly in using protection- they provide them for- for everybody over the age of consent- citizens, hooded figures-"
"Hah. I didn't mean it like that. But yeah, that's a good idea- oh. Uh- my wallet- I lost it in the grease fire at the Arby's," Carlos said- and he leaned up. Cecil's body cried out- not literally- at the loss of contact- but Carlos was only pulling Cecil's wallet out of the pocket of his discarded pants- he handed the wallet to Cecil- Carlos had such good manners, really- and Cecil, with shaking hands, pulled his out his own emergency condom- the foil of it stamped with both the Trojan logo and the City Council's seal- and handed it to Carlos.
"I have lotion somewhere," Carlos muttered- his inhumanly attractive voice was husky, even more attractive than it usually was- and Cecil grabbed his hand, perturbed. "Carlos," Cecil said, warningly, "You can't! You know about the ongoing ban on moisturizers!"
"Yeah, but we are going to use it as a lubricant, not as a moisturizer," Carlos said, seriously- and Cecil smiled, at Carlos's cleverness. Problem solved.
The lotion was by the sink- scientists who did all kinds of fascinating laboratory experiments probably had to wash their hands, like, a thousand times a day- and when Carlos returned he took a deep breath, standing over Cecil, who lay on the floor. From Cecil's vantage point, perspective made Carlos look as if he were a hundred feet tall- a monolith. Carlos set down the lotion- er, the lubricant- and pulled down his pants- and then his boxers- and Cecil saw him completely nude, and sucked in a ragged breath, at the sight. Carlos was- so much- and Carlos wanted him, clearly wanted him-
And then Carlos knelt down- between Cecil's legs, again- and chuckled, a touch hoarsely. "You are the best-looking naked person I have ever seen," Cecil informed him, unevenly. "You are also the best-looking clothed person I have ever seen. But naked is even better- not that you don't look excellent in your lab coats-"
"Thanks," Carlos said- and kissed Cecil's stomach. Carlos's bare chest brushed against Cecil's erection as he did it- and Cecil moaned, and rocked his hips upward, holding on tightly to Carlos's shoulders. "Yes, please," Cecil muttered- and Carlos met his eyes, again. "Do you want to do it to me- or should I do it to you?" Carlos asked- Cecil thought perhaps Carlos was blushing- and, to spare him any embarrassment, Cecil answered, off the cuff: "Me. You do it to me. Please. Carlos- I love you so much-"
"Okay, okay. Please bear with me if I don't know what I'm doing," Carlos said- and he rubbed a hand along Cecil's body- over his erection- and further down. "I don't think I've done this since college," Carlos added- and he rubbed some lotion- uh, lubricant- onto his fingers.
"I haven't done it in eons, I think I've been waiting for you for a thousand years," Cecil babbled- he was being superfluous, really, because he was so turned on and so nervous- but Carlos nodded, as if what he'd said were of direst importance- and he pressed one index finger into Cecil's body. Cecil's muscles contracted around Carlos's hand- and he groaned, seeing sparks behind his eyelids- which had fallen shut of their own accord. "Oh," Cecil said- he moved against Carlos, wanting to escape the intensity of the sensation but also wanting more of it, more of it forever- and he babbled something to that effect when Carlos slid a second finger into him. "God Cecil, you're really- I like you so much, you know," Carlos was saying- basically a love confession- but Cecil could not adequately express his joy, because he could concentrate on nothing but Carlos's fingers, moving in and out of his body. He knew, distantly, that he was shuddering- probably pretty violently- and he could hear the stupid sounds that he himself was making- and he clutched for Carlos's arm, to still his hand. "What's wong?" Carlos asked, immediately- his face perfectly illustrating concern. "Am I hurting you? Do you want to stop?"
"N-no. I- ah-" Cecil rocked his body, slightly, against Carlos's now-still fingers. "I'm going to- oh, Carlos- let's do that before I- uh-"
"Before you come?" Carlos asked. "Or is it something else? Are you going to- turn into a werewolf, or something?"
"I've never been bitten by a werewolf," Cecil said. "Please, though. I would like it very much if you-"
"Yes. You're really something," Carlos said- and the way he said it suggested to Cecil that 'something' actually meant a large number of things- but one of those things was sexy. Carlos finds me attractive, Cecil thought, feeling a touch of self-satisfaction through the intense arousal that pressed down all around his body. Carlos wants to make love with me.
Carlos was withdrawing his fingers- and he leaned forward, and kissed Cecil again on the lips- and Cecil kissed him back, eagerly, rolling their hips together when their bodies lined up.
"Nngh. You feel amazing," Carlos said- and Cecil forced his eyes open- and saw a lizard scuttle across the floor, near their heads. They must've found a way down here from the apartment, Cecil thought. Carlos did not see the lizard- his eyes had momentarily closed- and it scuttled away against the baseboard. Some footnote- something about residency forms- occurred to Cecil, then- some kind of addendum. Oh, yes. Typically a permanent change-of-address form had to be signed by the intended recipient in blood- but- but there was another way. If the intended recipient engages in sexual congress with a permanent resident- while a change-of-residency form is present in the room- then the form shall consider itself signed and sealed.
It was a way to sign the form without pain- a courtesy, really, since a decent number of people seemed to prefer sex to bloodletting- and Cecil wondered if he shouldn't say something. He opened his mouth to warn Carlos- honestly, he really intended to warn him- but what came out of Cecil's mouth was - "Please. Carlos. I want to f-feel you inside me-"
"Yes," Carlos said, in a strained tone- and he leaned back, and picked up the condom, tearing at the foil with shaking fingers. Cecil watched Carlos roll the condom on to his hardon- and then Carlos smeared- uh- lubricant- all over the length of it, gritting his teeth. "Put your legs on my shoulders," Carlos said. "Y-yeah. You ready?"
"I'm so ready," Cecil rasped back, meeting Carlos's eyes- and Carlos nodded, and took himself in hand. Cecil sucked in a deep breath when he felt Carlos pushing into him- and Carlos made a noise of pleasure. "Hmm. Cecil," Carlos said- he was holding very still- and Cecil took a series of deep breaths, getting used to the burn of having Carlos within him. "Does- that feel okay?" Carlos asked, his voice trembling.
"Very okay," Cecil murmured- and, feeling bold and terribly exposed all at once, he moved his body against the overwhelming pressure inside him. "Ah, yes," Cecil said- and Carlos let out a wordless groan. On the radio the eleven-hour-mambo went on, as it would do for a long time to come- and Cecil carefully moved his hips up and down, to the cadence of it. Carlos leaned slowly forward, so that his face was close to Cecil's body- and moved forward and backwards, in agonizing slowness.
"Ah, oh my goodness, ah," Cecil said- and he gripped Carlos's back, pulling them more closely together. "Carlos- ah- I love you- oh that feels so good-"
"Cecil, you feel really, yeah- it's-"
Carlos's voice was too much to listen to, Cecil thought, when it was coupled with the sensations in his body- his erection leaked- his stomach burned- and Carlos hit the painfully pleasurable spot within him, making him cry out- It's too much, Cecil thought, I can't last-
"Cecil I- ah - I love how you look," Carlos said, raggedly- "I love how you feel and I love being with you- I- I just love you-"
"I- ah, th-thank you," Cecil said- though he was too overwrought for politeness- "Ah, thank you, oh, thank you- Ca- Carlos- I'm p-pretty sure- ah! Oh... I think I'm going to- f-finish-"
"Yeah, you do that," Carlos said, thickly- and he balanced himself, bringing one hand around- and touched his palm to Cecil's erection. Cecil cried out- he was lost, coherency was lost, the flow of time was lost- if it had ever existed to begin with- and there was only Carlos- and his love for Carlos- and Carlos's love for him- and Carlos inside him- and Carlos's hand on him- and Carlos's noises of pleasure, which divided the seconds like heartbeats-
"That's right, yes, yes-" Carlos said- and Cecil hissed- and wrapped his arms more firmly around Carlos's shoulders. "Ah- Carlos," Cecil moaned- and he bucked forward, feeling Carlos hit that spot inside of him again, sending crackling electrical sparks throughout his body- and Cecil came, his body tensing- with no words- and he hugged Carlos even closer to him, as if they were together at sea- and rocked his body against Carlos, through the aftershocks.
"Oh god, Cecil," Carlos said, very quietly- and he shuddered, thrusting into Cecil- the heady feeling of it went on for a few moments- and then Carlos tensed- and whispered something- something that Cecil could not quite hear- and came himself, slumping forward, and pressing his forehead to Cecil's shoulder.
"That was perfect," Cecil said- and Carlos laughed- and kissed his shoulder. "Mmhmm. I think you're actually using that word correctly, for once," Carlos said- his tones were rich and warm with affection, Cecil could hear it. "Everything pertaining to you could be correctly described as perfect," Cecil protested, weakly- and then he felt Carlos stiffen, against him.
"Cecil, don't panic," Carlos said- "But we are completely surrounded by tarantulas."
"Hmm? Oh? Oh, yeah," Cecil said. "Those are the City Council's welcoming spiders. They should have a gift basket."
"Okay, I'm going to get up really slowly," Carlos said. "First lizards and now tarantulas, I- I don't know why-"
"The lizards brought you the form, and the spiders came because you signed it," Cecil offered, too dazed by post-coital bliss to think about what he was saying- and then he snapped his mouth shut.
"I didn't sign that residency form," Carlos said- he tossed the condom aside and got his feet, offering Cecil his hand- and Cecil rose, on legs that still trembled- and followed Carlos, stepping carefully over the large-sized ring of spiders. "Cecil," Carlos said, firmly, pulling him over to a less-uh- infested part of the lab- "I didn't sign that form."
"Uh..." Cecil looked up into Carlos's face, praying that he wouldn't get really mad- and tapped his index fingers together. "This is the thing, though. Uh- making love to a resident in the presence of a form is considered..." Cecil hesitated, lowering his voice. "...Is considered tantamount to signing it."
"What?! Cecil-" Carlos said, narrowing his eyes. "Did you just-"
"It's such a happy occasion, let's not waste time with meaningless accusations," Cecil said, quickly- and he kissed Carlos on the cheek. "We should get dressed, you know, in case somebody, like, wants to throw you an impromptu party- oh- and I can organize a parade in honor of your citizenship- for Non-optional Parade Day-"
"You must be joking," Carlos said- he was massaging the spots on his skull next to his lovely, grey-streaked temples. For a moment Carlos kept his eyes shut- and Cecil bounced on the balls of his feet, certain that Carlos was really mad. But then- Carlos opened his eyes, and really he didn't look upset at all- just a little bit resigned- and a little bit like he thought something was funny. And his eyes twinkled. Carlos's eyes often twinkled- like perfect jewels. "I should probably be committed, for this," Carlos said- and Cecil kissed him, delightedly, on his mouth.
"We already are committed to each other, I think," Cecil said, happily. He put his arms around Carlos's neck- holding him- and felt Carlos laugh, into his hair.
"Yeah, not what I meant," Carlos said- and he embraced Cecil in return, holding him tightly. "But that works, too."