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“I am a failure and I hate myself”, Määnin let himself fall backwards onto the couch, his palm at his forehead, sighing dramatically.
Suddenly there were no problems with his voice anymore, it had just the right vibration and tone to annoy everyone in the room.
“How did earth even allow something like me being born?”
“You know, I sometimes ask myself that too”, Freppa muttered under his breath, earning a grin from Thåossin.
“Hey!”, Määnin shot up too quickly, his sunglasses taking off and flying through the entire garage. “What did you just say.” Määnin didn’t even turn around to look after them.
“Nothing”, Freppa said innocently and picked Määnin’s bass back up to tune it. “Did I say anything?”
“You bastard”, Määnin exclaimed and fell back again with the loudest groan. He was acting like some little damsel in distress, straight out of a morally questionable fairy tale with personality so flat that not even English literature students with coloured hair and pronouns would be able to interpret something into his behaviour other than needing to get validation from a man.
It would be pretty funny if they weren’t wasting precious rehearsal time. Tommy kicked the couch, even he couldn’t make sense out of Määnin today and he had pronouns and had had coloured hair in the past, making Määnin scream. “Get your ass back to the mic.”
“We should just cut the song from the setlist!”
“We should cut you out of our band”, Tommy added. He hated it when Määnin was acting like this for no other reason than to annoy him. He kicked the couch again.
“That’s true”, Määnin was speaking with far too many sighs. “Just leave me to die here.” He had eye rings, usually well hidden behind his sunglasses. But his cheeks were rosy, and he was definitely overplaying any and all of his emotions.
“Ok.” Tommy turned back around. “Freppa, you want to put Vörå back on the list?”
But Freppa wasn’t listening. He had only been pretending to do something important with the bass and had been secretly staring at Määnin’s ass the entire time. The pathetic mess of “the man” had curled into the back of the sofa, definitely sticking out his ass properly for Freppa to see.
What band had Tommy even chosen here. He threw a helpless look to first Thåossin, who was carefully following the whole scene although clearly without the intention of intervening, then at Gambämäänin who was still sitting behind the drums, just finishing his first beer of the night and apparently just waiting until his stupid son would calm down.
Tommy snipped his fingers and then pointed at Määnin, gesturing widely. No wonders they weren’t booking any gigs.
“Jean”, Gambämäänin said and it made Määnin immediately stop whining. “You are here because your beautiful mother birthed you.”
Oh no. Tommy had just started an unskippable cut scene. Never. And that was the first rule of Vörjeans rehearsals, absolutely never ask Gambämäänin about Määnin’s mother. He was speaking more words each time than Tommy had ever heard him say combined, with emotions and drama that got Tommy thinking that there finally was the evidence for the Mannerheim relation. So Gambämäänin did this too now. Talking about her like his wife had gone to war when she was really just at home, probably enjoying some time without those idiots (Tommy envied her).
No one was really listening, Freppa was staring at Määnin’s ass again while Määnin looked at the ceiling and Thåossin was looking everywhere but at Gambämäänin, but the band didn’t want to be rude and interrupt so they just let him talk. Even if they had tried, Gambämäänin wouldn’t even let himself be interrupted (Tommy had tried once when drunk) he was just talking and talking and talking. Absolutely not benefiting Tommy’s idea of still going through the rest of the songs. Or at least finish Marlene.
Honestly, it was a mystery to Tommy why everyone and their mother, okay maybe those but only those, wanted to see Määnin perform that song.
“Want a trip?”, Thåossin asked conciliating.
The Vörjeans was divided into two. The beer and the trip. Freppa and Thåossin fighting as defenders of the trip and everyone going into battle for the beer. Although Määnin had started to show weakness since getting with Freppa.
Määnin turned on his back, put his head in his neck to hang half way of the couch and looked at Freppa and Thåossin even though he would be seeing them standing on their heads.
“Only if Freppa is feeding me.”
“Määnin”, Freppa was trying his best to not give in. “Not here.”
Not the answer Tommy wanted to hear. Not the answer, no. Too much information.
Thåossin laughed about Tommy’s face expression and Tommy rolled his eyes. While keeping the eye contact to Tommy, Thåossin added, “would you want to suck hard on Freppa’s straw?”
“Oh yes.”
“Until you are getting the juice?”
“Damn yes. I need that sweet juice.”
“Ew!”, Tommy screamed, tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling. But it was running down his spine like someone had just emptied a bucket of ice water above his head.
No, that was… Thåossin’s grin was wide. He took a sip from his own trip juice and Tommy tried to ban the image out of his head of Määnin’s lips su—
Meanwhile Freppa and Määnin were still staring at each other like love struck puppies. An innocent deer and the big bad wolf in love. Bravo. Tommy wanted to go throw up and then fly away.
“Never talk to me again”, Tommy said, now pointing at Thåossin. This about erased his last hope at getting to a productive rehearsal today. And all that just because Määnin had a bad day and used this as an excuse to be insufferable and make it everyone else’s problem.
Tommy would have to go and find himself a new band. He thought about the possible options.
Nope. Not happening. He would absolutely have to stay in this band.
“Tommy”, Thåossin said slowly.
Tommy looked at him again. Scared now what his supposedly friend would tell him next.
“Aren’t you wondering why Määnin’s voice is so hoarse?”
“No…?”, Tommy answered truthfully. “Why would I?”
“You might need to extend your cast of people you won’t talk to again.” Thåossin gave Freppa a nudge. Whose gaze drifted from Määnin right to Tommy. He was looking pretty guilty once the words seemed to be processed in his mind.
No.
“To be fair I didn’t know we would be rehearsing Marlene today?”
“Fredrik”, Tommy said as calmly as he could. “Our current setlist contains three songs. One of which is Marlene. Which song did you think we were going to rehearse?” Tommy put Freppa’s guitar down, all chances of another note getting played gone. “What do you even have to do with Määnin’s hoarse voice?” After Fredrik was unable to answer Tommy walked to the mini fridge and got out two beer, one which he handed out to Gambämäänin and the other which he almost finished in one go.
Aren’t you wondering why Määnin’s voice is so hoarse. Tommy blinked. Replayed Freppa’s guilty expression. He spit his beer out, right down on the sofa across Määnin’s jeans. “Freppa, you disgusting—”
Thåossin giggled.
“Sorry?”, Freppa said.
“Papp, can you carry me inside? I think I need ice cream.”
Gambämäänin groaned in surprise but got up. In the same moment Freppa did. Freppa’s face immediately turned fierce red.
It took Tommy’s head multiple moments to work this one out. Then he lost it all, his entire face dropping.
“Oh my god Määns, I hate you so much.”