Archive of Our Own

Shane barely ever took a day off, let alone missed a whole game, so when he woke up in the hotel room the morning before the game, and realized he was in full blown heat, his chest started to tighten. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. None of this made any sense; he's been on suppressants for years. The NHL knew he was an omega, they didn’t care. He just wasn’t allowed to go into heat, and if he did, it was an instant bench until it was over. This hadn’t been a problem, ever. The suppressants usually do exactly what they need to do. 

So when Shane felt his heat coming on yesterday he panicked. His reaction was out of pure fear, not of Ilya, never that, but of what could happen. What the outcome could’ve been. They were always so careful, Ilya knew Shane was an omega. The first time they met Ilya knew he could smell Shane, even though he had his scent patch on. And Shane knew he would be fine regardless, the scent patches and suppressants block everything out. That didn’t mean they weren’t super careful, and it had been years of them hooking up and nothing like this had ever happened. 

Ilya had asked him to stay, and he wanted to, he really wanted to. So even when Shane tried to give some push back, he knew ultimately what the answer was going to be. A simple yes. That’s how they ended up where they are now, sitting on the couch side by side, Shane’s head resting on Ilya’s chest.

Shane had heard him just get off the phone with his father, he couldn’t tell what was being said but by the tone of Ilya’s voice he knew it couldn’t have been good. He was worried about him, that might’ve been the omega coming out though. Shane always worried extra than a lot of people, especially if it was an alpha—especially an alpha he was developing feelings for. He knew it was unlikely that Ilya felt the same, that Ilya just had other plans for them tonight— more sex, it was nothing else but that. 

But Shane threw himself on top of Ilya regardless, pulling Ilya’s shirt that he was wearing off his body. Even though everything in this brain was telling him not too, that he needed to smell like his alp— Ilya. He was blissed out as he kissed Ilya, his brain was all foggy, it was a weird feeling. He’s never quite had a feeling like this, like he was there in the moment but wasn’t fully present. And he had a strange fire burning in his belly to ask Ilya to scent him. Which for most omegas is something normal, most of the time they do feel it. But Shane— Shane knew he couldn’t have that. People would smell Ilya on him and know. That would ruin their relationship, it would have everything crumbling down. So he never had that feeling, it was pushed away. He didn’t want to risk losing Ilya, which meant not thinking about scenting. 

There was just something about the way Ilya smelt today, it was stronger than usual. And Shane had looked, Ilya was wearing his scent patch, which they were all required to due to NHL regulations.  Shane just could smell so much. It was this outdoor woodsy smell, like birchwood, it was driving Shane insane. He knew that bad choices would be made tonight, that saying yes to staying the night was a risk. There was already a commitment though, Shane had already said yes, he couldn’t take it back. 

That was until he heard “Shane” being moaned out of Ilya’s mouth. The fire in his belly became stronger and at this point, Shane knew. He knew exactly what this was, or was going to be. It was a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time, he was going into heat. Which made no sense, Shane was on top of everything he had to do to make sure this didn’t happen. He was safe. They were safe. That only left one thing, Ilya was his true mate. What. The. Fuck. 

“Ilya,” Shane whispered to him, that was his omega taking over, the heat that was bubbling at the surface. 

Shane needed to get out of there. He needed to be out of there fast. He was going into heat and there was no way he’d be able to control himself around Ilya. Without warning he jumped out of Ilya’s lap, grabbing the black shirt that Ilya had provided for him. He felt weak in the knees putting it back on, smelling the now even stronger smell of the alpha’s scent. His vision was starting to get blurry, but he needed to get back to the hotel. He was so thankful that for this game he was in a room alone and not sharing one with his team mates. They would be able to smell him instantly. 

“I- fuck. I have to go.” Shane rushed to say, he was stumbling over his words, he needed to get out before Ilya could start smelling him. 

“What?” Ilya asked, he raised an eyebrow at Shane, it was clear he was confused on what was happening in that moment.

“I’m sorry. Fuck. I just have to leave.” Shane didn’t give anymore of an explanation, he was stumbling to the front door and swinging the door open. Once he was safe in his car he let out a shaky breath, his hands coming up to cover his eyes. He rubbed his eyelids more aggressively than he normally would to try and restore some of the vision he had lost. All he wanted to do was nest, that was such a silly thought to have, but it’s all his brain could think about. How it would feel to be snuggled up against all of the things that are typically apart of his nest. He didn’t have a true nest, it was impossible to have one with how much he traveled. But he brought stuff with him. More things than he would like to ever admit. That was all he needed to give him the push to get back to the hotel. 

Shane wanted to play, he wanted to get on the ice. He even debated lying— well not really lying, just not disclosing that he was in heat. Skipping games wasn’t something he did, it wasn’t something he was allowed to do. He had to be perfect, he wanted to be perfect. That’s what his mom engraved in him at an early age. Hockey was the one thing he was really good at, and that he loved. There were people relying on him, his team mates, the fans, the kids who looked up to him. What would they all say if they found out Shane Hollander, the man they look up to, was an omega and needed to skip a game because his heat was triggered?

He wasn’t allowed to be just okay. It wasn’t good enough, Shane was capable of more. He could hear his mom in his head, telling him to be better, that he needed to be the best he could be. That you couldn’t just quit when things got hard. He needed to remind himself, this wasn’t things getting hard, he physically wasn’t able to play. 

Growing up was hard, his mom was a tough parent to please. He loves his parents, he loves his mom, but it's hard being perfect all the time. Days like this— moments like this, he’s back in middle school and his mom yelling at him to do better since he got an A- instead of a A+. He’s back in sophomore year of high school having a cold and definitely should not be playing hockey but she refuses to let him stay home. He’s back to his old self, his old headspace where he’d do anything to please his parents. He never wanted to disappoint them. 

His hands were shaking as he picked up the phone to call his coach, he could hear his mom saying “Push through this, you can’t skip a game. You won’t skip a game,” in his head. He needed to get those thoughts out. That wasn’t any option, that wasn’t a thought. 

This is how his anxiety started as a young boy, though it's never been confirmed, Shane was pretty certain that’s what it is. He did bring it up to his parents, he should’ve known the way it was going to go, but he was hoping maybe they’d hear him out. It resulted in nothing but a huge argument. His mom told him that therapy wasn’t real and it didn’t work and why would someone like him need that. He tried to reason with his dad, he cried to him. Shane cried a lot as a kid. But his dad stuck by Yuna’s answer. 

That’s how Shane found himself down a rabbit hole of mental health on reddit. He was determined to figure out what was wrong with him, even if it meant without his parents. He knew he wasn’t depressed, he wasn't sad, maybe he was lonely sometimes but he didn’t want to cause any harm to himself. OCD and anxiety were the two things that stuck out to him. He couldn’t stop reading about them, everything was starting to make sense and add up. 

The people on the reddit thread had many tips and tricks, Shane made sure to keep note of all the important ones. He was willing to try anything. That’s how he landed on journaling. People said writing how you feel helps release the feeling and transferring it onto paper. Shane was  skeptical at first, he didn’t think that was true or could even help. But 10 notebooks later, Shane would be damned. It truly did work. Though, he had to hide them well enough that nobody would ever find them. 

His coach was understanding when he picked up the phone, they sent the team doctor to his room with no questions asked. The doctor confirmed that Shane in fact was in heat and it was triggered, though he could not seem to understand why it was when Shane was on top of taking all his medications. Shane knew the answer as to why though, he knew what happened. There was just no way for him to tell him the reasoning without outing him and Ilya. Instead he just went along with pretending to have no clue why it happened, that was easier. Safer. 

He should’ve called his mom, he knows that. But he didn’t want a lecture. He also didn’t want to talk to his mom when he wanted Ilya Rozanov to fuck him into the mattress. But he quickly realized he fucked up when his phone kept going odd. There were 10 missed calls. He wasn’t ignoring her on purpose, he just wasn’t fully present. He was still trapped mentally at Ilya’s house. 

“Hi mom.” Shane picked up the phone.

“So the funniest thing happened. I turned on the TV to watch my son play hockey and he’s not even there, isn’t that so funny?” Yuna laughed into the phone. 

“I’m having a medical emergency that is why I’m not playing, mom.” Shane snapped. He needed to be out of this conversation. He did not want to be talking to his mother right now. 

“A medical emergency? But I’m your emergency contact, why didn’t they call me?” Yuna replied.

“Becausee I told them not to mom! My heat got triggered. That’s all,” Shane answered.

“Your heat? But how?” Yuna asked.

“I don’t know, okay?” I’m hanging up,” Shane clicked the end button on the phone and shoved his face into the pillow. 

He didn’t want to hear anymore of what she was going to say, not when he was in this headspace, not when he could barely think correctly. He’d call her back once his heat was over and have a real conversation with her. 

Right now he didn’t want to be Shane Hollander, the perfect hockey player. He wanted to be the needy omega his body was telling him to be. He wanted to lay in his nest— fuck his nest. He needed to still set up his nest. He just needed to survive this heat, even though the one person he wanted to share it with wasn’t here. 

He had prepared his makeshift nest. Nesting in a hotel room sucked, if Shane had to be honest, there were so many different smells passing by, and the only person he had wanted to smell, he had left alone. Shane was angry at himself, he knew Ilya would’ve understood, he just reacted out of fear. And now he’s hauled up in this hotel room for the next week, or until his heat decides to pass. He whined into the collar of the shirt he had on, trying to catch a whiff of the left over smell of Ilya on the black t-shirt. 

This was weird, he knows it's weird. That a majority of his nest, if not everything, was a piece of clothing from Ilya. Something that he stole or even if Ilya had just innocently left behind. Shane was too far gone to even be embarrassed, he just needed something, anything to help him past this. If that meant cuddling up with a bunch of random clothing articles that didn’t even belong to him, he’d do it in a heartbeat. 

Shane knew he was crazy for this, nesting in Ilya’s clothes. But it started off more innocent, it wasn’t something that he ever thought would turn into something like this. At first it was just Ilya’s smell, the first time they met, the summer before their rookie year. Ilya smelt of cigarettes, as he smoked in the alleyway. But that didn’t fully mask his actual scent. It was subtle, a faint smell lingering in the air. Shane couldn’t fully make out what it was. He just knew it was intoxicating. 

His brain kept on thinking about it, anytime he ran into Ilya, or they made any kind of contact, that faint smell would come back into his space. So really, it started off that he just wanted more. He wanted to smell more of Ilya. What he decided to do next was between him, and whoever is up there in the sky. 

A black pair of underwear

July 2010. That’s where this all started. In that moment if you would’ve asked him, he would’ve told you it was a hook up, nothing more than that. It would be a lie. It would be the start of something much more dangerous. And not just them hooking up, not just the late night kisses they would soon steal from each other. Shane knew he was going to become addicted to Ilya’s scent, that there was nothing scent patches or suppressants could do at that moment. He could smell him the second he walked into the shower. It wasn’t the same as that night in the gym, it was stronger. If Shane knew any better he would’ve thought it was the smell of want, of need, of desire. But Ilya Rozanov was just another hockey player, who happened to be his rival. Who also happened to be insanely beautiful. 

Shane didn’t realize how bad he was going to want this, that he was going to crave Ilya’s smell, that wasn’t a part of the plan when he decided to let Ilya come up to his room. But now he’s standing there alone in his hotel room, his first time being with a man and he already felt like this. What is wrong with him? They barely even did anything, yet Shane couldn’t shake this feeling. That was when he noticed them, black boxer briefs that laid on the floor, that definitely were not his. He shuttered looking at them for a moment. How did Ilya manage to leave without his underwear? How did he not realize that his underwear were on the floor of Shane’s room? Did he not care? Was walking the halls in nothing but a pair of jeans a turn on for him? Did he do this on purpose? A million thoughts crowded Shane’s mind. 

One side was telling him to get rid of them, that leaving underwear in someone's hotel room is strange and dirty. That the underwear belonged in the trash. The other side was screaming at him to grab the underwear and keep them safe, that they needed a new home. Shane’s home. That’s how his nest started. The single black pair of underwear made it home to Shane’s apartment. Sat directly on top of the bean bag in the corner of his room. Shane hated to admit how safe it made him feel. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

A white tank top. 

Shane snatched this up from Ilya’s hotel room at the All Stars Game in 2011. When Scott Hunter was next door and they decided against fucking. So they just messed around, a lot of kissing and blow jobs. And slight cuddling, which Shane hates to admit he really enjoyed. The problem was that this wasn’t going to last forever, or even long at all. Shane knew that, he just wished it would’ve been longer. But without warning Ilya was pressing a kiss to Shane’s lips and getting up to get into the shower. 

He was left alone and soaked up the leftover smell that was in the room. Once Ilya would return from his shower the smell would be mostly gone, the soft smell of woodsy bourbon would be less than it already was. And Shane had an awful thought floating in the back of his brain, which logically he knew was probably not a good idea. Against better judgment, he did it anyway. There was a white tank top laying on the chair on the side of the room, it was stretched out, like it has been worn multiple times. He was holding it in his hands and he knew he seemed insane, that stealing Ilya’s tank top is not normal behavior. 

That didn’t stop him though. He neatly folded up the tank top and shoved it into his hoodie pocket, he was thankful he wore something baggy that would hide that there was a piece of clothing shoved in there. It was Ilya’s fault he acted like this, maybe if the Alpha didn’t smell so good Shane could be calm about this. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

Two socks and a bed sheet.

Shane had found them the night after their first time, they had ended up tangled in between the bed sheets. He had found them when shaking out the bed to change the sheets after the mess they made. If Shane wasn’t such a stickler for keeping things clean he would’ve slept in the sweat filled sheets for weeks. But that would’ve defeated the purpose. That would’ve made them smell less like Ilya and more like Shane. When he first went to take the sheets off, the plan was to stick them in the laundry basket. Instead he brought the sheets to his nose, the alpha’s scent still clung to the sheets. This was irrational, but irrational thinking had gone out the window at this point. Shane brought it over to his bean bag that sat in the corner of his room. He threw the bed sheet over the bean bag so it covered it in it’s entirety. 

And now the socks. Any other person would’ve texted and let them know he had his socks and would keep them safe until they could get them back. Shane was not a normal person, clearly not after stripping the dirty bed sheets from his bed and throwing them onto his nest. Which is exactly where the socks went as well, sat nicely on top of the sheet that was laying over the bean bag. There was a decently sized dresser in the corner of his room, he opened it up and there were 2 items sitting nicely folded inside. A white tank top and a pair of black underwear. Both Ilya’s. He needed to hide them though, there was no way he’d let Ilya into his home and see that he’s nesting with all his items. That is just insane. 

He didn’t make his bed that night, he grabbed his favorite pillow and went over to his nest. There was enough sheet that he could lay on top of it while also covering his body with it. The socks sat promptly next to his pillow. He fell asleep that night curled up in a ball, soaking up the leftover smell Ilya had left behind. 

That morning he woke up to a text, from no one other than Ilya. 

Lily

I left socks there, did you find them?

Shane sighed, still curled up in a ball and wrapped in the bed sheets, he typed out a response and deleted it. Ilya didn’t need to know that he was using his socks to nest, even though everything in body told him to tell the Alpha that. Instead he just went the easier route. 

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t find anything.” 

What would a little white lie do to anyone, Ilya made loads of money, one pair of socks isn’t going to ruin the bank for Ilya. He could live without them, Shane just wasn’t sure he could. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

Las Vegas 2014

Shane should’ve felt better after seeing Ilya for the first time in months, but something was off. It was his scent. Shane could smell Ilya but he smelt different, the woodsy scent that typically filled Shane’s nose was being masked by something more bitter. It didn’t smell like anger, Shane knew that. Just like a disconnection, like Shane was the last person Ilya wanted to see. Shane didn’t understand why he was invited into the room anyways then. If Ilya had this new found feeling towards him. He didn’t want to remind Ilya like this, his scent turning cold towards Shane. He wanted to keep his memories of their nights together locked in his brain. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go or end. 

They did fuck that night, Shane was out of it. His omega was yelling so many different things at him. He wanted it but didn’t want it, that Ilya didn’t want him anymore and he needed to leave. It was just sex, Shane was simply just there so Ilya could pleasure himself. But Shane wanted so much more, he’d never tell the Alpha that, he’d rather save himself the embarrassment. So he let it happen, which now as he stood alone in the elevator, his brain all foggy and messed up, didn’t seem like a smart idea.

Ilya didn’t even kiss him, he barely touched him. He didn’t want the omega anymore, Shane was too needy, too dramatic. There were a million other omegas in the world that would benefit Ilya more than Shane would. It was over. This was over. Shane hated this. He wanted to take back whatever he did to make Ilya feel this way. 

His fingers hoovered over the keyboard of his phone. He knew he shouldn’t text Ilya, he had just left not even 5 minutes ago, there was no reason for him to. But Shane wanted something so bad, something he wished he didn’t. He wanted Ilya to scent him, even further, he would’ve let Ilya bond him right then and there. The consequences didn’t matter, not at this moment. 

When he typed out on his phone, “You didn’t even bond me,” that was all it was going to be, a text typed but never sent. He deleted every single letter, slowly. The text was finally off his phone for good, but the feeling still burned deep inside of him.

There was nothing collected for his nest this time around. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

The grey adidas long sleeve.

This was Shane’s favorite one. He couldn’t get over how good Ilya looked in it, let alone how good he smelled. When Ilya had came into his apartment, there was a black jacket over it and underneath that black jacket was a tan hoodie. Shane hadn’t even noticed the slither of grey peaking out from the bottom of the hoodie. It wasn’t till Ilya was ripping his own hoodie off, the grey long sleeve shirt was revealed. He didn’t know if he wanted to see Ilya with it on or off more. 

It was a cold night in Montreal, Shane wasn’t shocked at how many layers Ilya had been wearing but he wasn’t expecting Ilya to also look so damn snuggly. The layers didn’t last on either of their bodies very long though, Shane was ripping off the long sleeve and throwing it somewhere at the bottom of the stairs. 

Up in his room his nest was tucked nicely away, out of sight of Ilya. Shane wasn’t risking him finding out about any of this. That he’d been keeping items of clothes of Ilya’s so he can smell him when Ilya wasn’t around, or when they’d have big gaps in between seeing each other. 

There was something strange about this time though, Ilya left and the grey long sleeve shirt was neatly placed on the bottom step of the stairs. Shane assumed he forgot it, that since there were so many layers Ilya just forgot to put the long sleeve shirt on. He expected a text from Ilya asking him if he found it or to give it back the next time they’d see each other. But nothing ever came through. Ilya did text him, it just had nothing to do with the shirt. 

When Shane picked it up, the scent was strong, like Ilya had dumped himself onto it. Shane wasn’t complaining, he just didn’t seem to fully understand the full thing that was happening here. The long sleeve became something Shane slept with on the nights he missed Ilya a little extra. He hated to admit that it ended up being more times than he wanted. 

Shane picked up his phone, he knew exactly what would be on it though— nothing. Well not completely nothing, his teammates were checking on him, they knew the basis of what happened. His phone had been lit up with what felt like a million texts, but the one person he wanted to talk to wasn’t there. He fucked up, he knew he did. Running out of Ilya’s house was mean and cruel. He whimpered into the grey long sleeved shirt that he had wrapped in his hands. He was just so afraid, he reacted before he could even talk himself out of it. 

Now he was here all alone, in this gross hotel room, in fucking heat. His body ached for touch— for Ilya. He fucked it all up, Ilya would never talk to him again. They were over. Shane knew it. He had tears welling up in his eyes, his first heat in years and he was crying and pining over Ilya Rozanov. 

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Ilya could sense something was wrong, everyone was acting strange, but no one seemed to want to tell him what was going on. He knew everything would be fine once he could see Shane on the ice, even though Shane left in a hurry. Ilya needed to see him. He needed to know he was okay. 

That reality was taken away from him once the game started, Shane was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t on the ice, he wasn’t on the bench, Ilya couldn’t even smell his scent. Something was wrong. Ilya asked his coach if he knew what happened, but he couldn't give him any answers. He was forced to play the game of knowing if Shane was okay, or even alive. Well Ilya knew he was alive, his Alpha was just sneaking up on him and he was going into protective mode. 

He played a really aggressive game that night, he didn’t mean too, truly. For once this was something out of his control, even with the suppressants, he couldn’t stop the Alpha coming out. His omega needed him— Shane needed him. He didn’t know why, or what for, he just knew. They won the game that night, as team captain he should be going out, celebrating the win, but the only thing he could think of was getting to Shane. Though he didn’t even know where Shane even was.

It’s not like he could just walk the hallways of the hotel and pray he could scent out Shane, his teammates were staying at this hotel, someone would notice what was going on. He decided on the easier way of things, bribery. 

“Hi.” Ilya said walking up to the front desk in the hotel. 

“Hi sir! How can we help you?” The lady behind the desk asked, the name on her tag read Julie. 

“I am looking for someone’s room, Julie,” Ilya said in his most charming voice. 

“I’m not sure if I can give you that information sir, if you aren’t on the room list,” Julie replied.

Ilya knew she was just doing her job, that didn’t mean he liked or agreed with it. This just got 10 times more complicated.

“Not even if it Shane Hollander?” Ilya asked, attempting one more time, reaching into his pocket to make sure his wallet was snug in there.

“You and Mr. Hollander are cozy with each other, Mr. Rozanov?” Julie squinted at him. 

So Julie knew who they both were, she knew they were both hockey players, that they were also rivals. Ilya was risking so much doing this, risking exposing them— exposing their secret. This was so wreckless, he should turn around and walk out of the hotel and go home. Then Julie said something that shocked him. 

“He’s yours isn’t he?” She leaned over the desk, her voice was barely above a whisper, there weren't many people in the lobby, but Ilya appreciated the quietness in her voice. 

“How could you know?” Ilya responded, his face was burning, he knew his cheeks were flushed a bright red. 

“The softness in your face gave it away to me,” She typed something on the computer and slid the keycard over to him discreetly. “Your secret is safe with me, no one deserves to be outed before they are ready,” Ilya knew he shouldn't believe her, that she could run to the news directly right after this. But there was something in her voice that made him believe her. 

“Thank you,” he mouthed to her and nodded, grabbing the key card off the desk. 1411. That was the room number that was written in Julie’s handwriting. 

Getting up to the 14th floor, when the doors opened he was hit with a strong smell of citrus and candy. Like he walked into a candy shop, and it hit him like a ton of bricks. He could feel the speed of his heart starting to pick up as he stood there briefly, frozen in place. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

Shane’s eyes fluttered open, he was woken up by the sound of buzzing from the door scanner. He figured that he was just hearing things since no one had access to his room but him, and he shut his eyes again. His face was smashed into his pillow and he had Ilya’s shirt laying across his head. When he was younger and would go through heat, he usually preferred being in the dark, which was hard with being in a hotel room. His head snapped up when he heard the door opening and shutting, that definitely was not in his imagination.

“Hollander?” A voice called out, it sounded like Ilya, the same husky Russian accent he has. Ilya was playing a game tonight, there was no way he was in Shane’s room. Maybe it was his imagination. 

“Hollander, you stink.” He spoke again, the voice getting closer. 

“Ilya?” Shane whimpered out, turning so he could face the door and have some line of sight of whoever just entered his room. 

“Is me,” Ilya chuckled, walking over to the bed, “What is all this?” He asked.

Shane could see the confusion on his face, he hadn’t fully registered what was happening yet, or what Ilya was talking about, till he remembered. He’s in his nest. His nest that consists of items that he stole from Ilya. Items that he swore he had no clue where they had gone. 

“Rozanov— fuck. I can explain.” Shane blurted out in a panic, it came out mostly as a whimper though. 

“You are in heat?” Ilya asked, he was looming over the edge of the bed, standing at the foot of it. 

“Yeah— I—” Shane started, before he was cut off. 

“My clothes, you are nesting?” Ilya asked, he was moving from his spot at the foot of the bed, over to the side where Shane was laying. 

“I’m— Fuck! I’m sorry.” Shane sat up, grabbing the articles of clothes around him, folding them up neatly, just like he did whenever he was starting to panic. “You can—you can have them back. I’m sorry—fuck. I’m sorry. Here. Take them. I—” Shane’s heart was racing, he was panicking. He was caught, he was nesting in Ilya’s clothes, he was stealing his clothes. And he was busted. Oh god. He was still wearing his shirt. That stupid black shirt that he left Ilya’s house in. He was ripping the shirt off his body, you would think it was causing pain to his skin with how fast he was pulling it off. 

“I—I didn’t mean to, I swear. Ilya— Rozanov. Fuck, it was an accident. I’m sorry—” Ilya cut him off this time, he didn’t grab any of the items laid out around them, not even the shirt Shane was shakingly holding towards him. He sat down on the bed with Shane, grabbing his hands that were shaking while holding the t-shirt. 

“Sweetheart,” Ilya cooed, his hands wrapping completely around Shane’s. “You are okay. I am not mad, moya lyubov'. You are shaking.” Ilya held onto his hands tightly. 

“You’re not mad?” Shane asked, his eyes glistening with tears, his voice still trembling. 

“For nesting? No. Never. How do you say leaving stuff? Matter of fact?” Ilya asked. 

“Purposefully?” Shane questioned, his heart was still beating extremely fast, he wanted to make sure he was understanding Ilya correctly.

“Da. That is word. Leave stuff purposefully,” Ilya was pulling Shane closer into his chest. “This is why you left?” Ilya asked. 

“I’m sorry.” Shane whined, nuzzling his face deeper into Ilya’s chest. This was better than any piece of clothing Shane had stolen from him. He could smell Ilya, the musky bourbon smell that he desired every time. He could feel himself getting wet for Ilya, from the mix of his heat and the softness in Ilya’s voice. 

“You will come back to my house,” Ilya said matter of factly, while combing his fingers through Shane’s hair. “We will bring your nest back there. Where it belongs, yes?” 

“You still want me?” Shane looked up from Ilya’s chest to meet his eyes. 

“Hollander— Shane. Of course I still want. You are in heat, were not thinking straight. My sweet boy. My sweet omega.” 

Shane’s breath hitched, he tugged at the bottom hem of Ilya’s shirt, wanting to feel closer to him. All his brain kept playing on repeat was myomega myomega myomega. 

“Yours,” Shane responded before crashing his lips into Ilya’s. He knew by doing this he was breaking the 5th wall, he just didn’t care. He wanted Ilya so badly, he wanted him to take care of him, to knot him. 

“I can smell how badly you want me, Shane. It’s intoxicating,” Ilya spoke before pushing Shane down onto the bed, leaving him under Ilya’s body. He could feel Ilya’s eyes staring at his neck, exactly where his scent patch was. Shane could smell the shift in the air, it was desperate, want— need. Ilya’s eyes met his neck, then back to Shane’s face, his pupils completely dilated. 

Shane wanted Ilya to scent him, he yearned for times like this. For him to smell like Ilya, to be marked by him. It was always dangerous when they had games upcoming, or when they’d be out in public places where others could scent them out. But Shane was going to be trapped in this hotel room, or Ilya’s house, whichever place he’ll end up til his heat was over. Ilya could scent him, and no one would know. He could be marked by Ilya’s, the one thing he craved more than anything. 

Without thinking Shane pushed his neck out slightly, turning it towards the left, making it more prominent what his intentions were. Words would’ve been helpful in this moment, but his mouth was shockingly dry and there was a lump forming in his throat. He was nervous, what if Ilya didn’t want to scent him? What if he didn’t want to mark him? What if he really wasn’t his omega and was just trying to calm him down in the moment. The anxiety that filled Shane’s brain earlier slowly started creeping its way back up. 

“Hm? You want me to scent you?” Ilya maintained eye contact with him. 

Shane could hear the cockiness in his voice— the small smirk that shined across his face. All Shane mustered up was a nod, he was so overwhelmed with how good this could feel words couldn’t have served him well right now. 

Ilya didn’t hesitate one moment, he was pulling off his own scent patch, and then Shane’s. He would have to figure out where he tossed them too in the room before they left, that was not one of his concerns at this moment. He was pressing his scent gland up to Shane’s, nuzzling his neck into the crook of Shane’s neck. He peppered kisses along the side of his neck, his tongue tracing where each individual kiss was left. 

“Your turn now.” Ilya pressed a kiss to Shane’s lips.

“You want me to scent you? But you have games? You’ll have to leave— people will know— people will smell someone on you.” Shane stumbled over his words. He more than anything would love to scent Ilya, the rush of people being able to smell him on Ilya gave Shane a rush he’s never felt. But they are a secret, people can’t know. Ilya’s team would smell him and figure it out. 

“Shane,” Ilya whispered, before grabbing his waist and flipping them over. Now Shane was laid on top of Ilya’s chest. “Sit up for one second.” Ilya nudged at him. Shane sheepishly lifted his body up, it didn’t last long though. Ilya wasted no time lifting his own shirt over his head, and placing his hands on Shane’s lower back. “Scent me.” Ilya didn’t ask. It wasn’t a question. It was a command. Shane knew it wasn’t an option anymore. 

Ilya had pulled out his Alpha voice, it was ever so slightly, it wasn’t enough to startle Shane, but enough for him to know he was being serious. Shane knew not to ask anymore questions, not about that at least. He dragged his neck across the scent gland on Ilya’s neck, he nuzzled his face into his shoulder, nipping at the bare skin there. 

“Now it smells like the both of us,” Shane giggled. He didn’t notice at first, but he was rocking his hips back and forth against Ilya’s. Trying to get any type of friction against his now hardened cock. “Ilya,” Shane whined. 

“You want my knot? You will have to ask for it.” Ilya smirked. 

“Ilya, please. I want your knot so bad. Ilya— Alpha. Please,” Shane begged, letting out a breathy moan at the end. 

Shane felt himself being flipped back over, back onto his back, with Ilya ushering him to lift his hips and tugging his sweats and underwear off. Ilya’s clothes were discarded right after that. Shane’s cock was laid on top of his stomach, it was leaking from the top. 

“You’re so wet for me,” He ran his fingers across the head of Shane’s cock. “Here,” He continued speaking, his hand moving from Shane’s tip to the rim of his ass. “And here,” He gently pushed one finger in, Shane was so soaked with slick, he was sure Ilya wasn’t going to even need to use any lube. 

“Need you, need you, need you,” Shane whined out, arching his back against the bed. He could feel his brain starting to go fuzzy, the desire was taking over his body. He could feel that he’d be incoherent in the next couple of seconds if Ilya didn’t do something. 

“Such a good boy, begging for his Alpha’s knot. So polite,” Ilya growled, Shane heard the growl leave his lips. “You smell like me. Like mine,” Ilya kissed at the skin between Shane’s thighs, nipping at it. Shane knew there would be a mark left there, he just didn’t care. All he wanted was IlyaIlyaIlya. His brain couldn’t think of anything else. “Only one finger and you think you're open and ready for me?” Ilya pressed his finger deeper. 

Shane tipped his head back against the pillow, his eyes shut, mouth open, and he gripped the bedsheets with his hands. A breathy moan escaping his lips, he could feel the fire burning in his belly. “Alpha— Please,” Shane begged again. 

Ilya crawled back up towards Shane, he used all the extra slick Shane was producing to coat his dick. Shane knew Ilya would never hurt him, he trusted him completely. He could feel Ilya line his cock up at his rim, at first just pushing the tip in. Then he felt Ilya thrust all the way in, Shane’s hands flew up to Ilya’s face, cupping his cheeks. He pulled him into a passionate kiss, as Shane gasped and groaned into Ilya’s mouth. 

“This okay?” Ilya asked. 

“Fuck— Ilya— Alpha. Yes. Okay. More. Please,” Shane word vomited a bunch of words. Not even sure if any of them made sense. His eyes rolling to the back of his head, his nails scratching lines into Ilya’s back. Ilya didn’t seem to notice or care, he didn’t even so much as flinch. 

“Alpha— I need to—Ilya,” Shane bucked his hips forward, causing Ilya to go deeper into him, which earned a loud groan from Ilya’s lips. 

“You need to come?” Ilya thrusted harder with each time, his mouth moving to where his scent gland is. He nipped slightly at the spot, then bit down harder. If he moved his mouth over ever so slightly it would be exactly where a bonding mark would be. Shane wanted that. He wanted to be bonded to Ilya, for the world to know who he belonged to. 

“Mark me,” Shane breathed out, his words a slurry mess.

“Shane, you are in heat. You’re not thinking straight. After heat is done, if you still want, I will. Yes?” Ilya kissed the same spot again, his tongue lapping the bruise that was created on Shane’s neck. 

“Mmpf,” Shane moaned, he knew there was no way he was forming a coherent sentence right now. Especially not when he was on the verge of coming, untouched. 

“You can come, sweetheart,” Ilya coaxed him. Shane was also sure he could feel the base of Ilya’s cock swelling up as well too. With a small squeal, and a loud gasp, Shane felt his dick twitch and could feel the wetness between them— the stickiness on his stomach. 

“Fuck. Shane. You feel so good. Can feel you clenching around my cock,” Ilya hummed, his forehead scrunching up. He thrust one last time, and his knot pushed past Shane’s rim. Shane felt Ilya fall flat on his chest for a moment, before Ilya was flipping them again, leaving Shane tucked into Ilya’s chest. 

“Want you to be comfortable. Might be here awhile. Have not knotted someone in a long time.” Ilya pet Shane’s head, his arms wrapped tightly around his body. 

“M’kay,” Shane snuggled his head deeper into Ilya’s neck, he was trying to breathe as much of his scent in as he could. 

“We will go back to my house after this.” Ilya whispered into Shane’s hair. Truthfully, Shane didn’t care where he was, as long as he was with Ilya. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

March 2017 

“Have you heard about Rozanov?” J.J asked, not directing his question towards anyone, just speaking out loud. 

Shane flinched at that, hearing the way J.J said his name, the way it rolled off his tongue, but also, why was J.J talking about him like he knew him. He didn’t. Why would J.J know about Rozanov, or what was going on with him. 

“Earth to Shane,” That was Hayden. It smacked Shane out of his own thoughts. 

“Sorry. Uh— what about Rozanov?” Shane asked, trying hard to push down any concern he had.

“He didn’t fly to Nashville with the rest of the team. ESPN isn’t saying anything else.” J.J spoke. 

Shane could feel his vision going blurry. He was just on the phone with Ilya that night prior. They did that now, talked. Something shifted in the nature of their relationship after Boston. It wasn’t nearly as casual as it used to be, it wasn’t just meaningless hookups— though it was never meaningless to Shane, he just wouldn’t admit that out loud yet. 

“Maybe he’s hurt,” Hayden shrugged his shoulders, closing his locker. The loud sound made Shane’s head hurt, he already felt like his body was on fire and that amplified it. 

“He’s not.” Shane spoke. He knew he sounded way to matter of fact, but his brain couldn't process the full extent of this conversation. He was everywhere and nowhere all at once. 

“Maybe he’s sick,” Hayden tried again. Shane knew he was trying to help, that it was harmless. But Ilya wasn’t hurt. Ilya wasn’t sick. He knew that for sure. Something was terribly wrong, and he needed to be out of this locker room right now. 

“He’s not.” Shane spoke again. This time it was a lot more breathy and slow, he was trying to calm his breathing down. 

Shane doesn’t remember getting home that night, he doesn’t remember opening the front door, let alone getting into the car. Everything became a blur. He called Ilya twelve times. 

Hi, this is Ilya. I will not listen to your voice mail 

He was hit with that line twelve times. Shane paced in the kitchen, he opened up the fridge, and closed it multiple times. He wasn’t even looking for anything in the fridge, he’d already opened up a ginger ale. He needed to breathe, he needed to relax. He needed air. His mind was going to the worst places. Ilya was dead. He was dead and that’s why he wasn’t with his team. 

Oh my god. 

Shane crashed into his couch, buried his face into the pillow, he could feel the tears flowing down his cheeks. He could smell Ilya everywhere, all over his apartment. Every crevice— every nook and cranny. It was all Ilya. This would be the last of Ilya he’d ever have, that he could ever remember. He never wanted to forget his smell, he thought they had more time— his thoughts were ended by his phone ringing next to him. He didn’t even look at the caller ID, he just clicked the answer button.

“Hello,” Shane spoke into the phone, trying to steady his voice as much as possible. 

“Hollander,” Ilya responded. 

“Ilya— oh my god. Where are you? Are you okay?” Shane sniffled, and wiped the tears that stained his cheeks away. 

“Am home. What is wrong? You are crying?” Ilya asked. 

“In Boston?" Shane ignored the question by asking Ilya another question. 

“No. Moscow.” Ilya started. “Shane. You were crying. What is wrong?” He tried again. 

“Oh god. Is your dad—“ Shane was cut off by Ilya this time. 

“Dead.” Ilya hummed into the phone. 

“Oh Ilya. Are you okay?” Shane whispered into the phone. 

“Am okay now that I’m with you. Can I switch to facetime? I want to see you?” Ilya questioned. 

Shane’s hands fumbled with the phone for a second, he clicked the switch to facetime button, his face lighting up the screen. He looked awful. Ilya would be able to tell he was crying instantly. He placed the phone down for a millisecond to rub both of his eyes, hoping that maybe it would help. 

“Oh sweetheart,” Ilya spoke into the phone the second Shane appeared back onto the screen. 

“No. No. This isn’t about me. I’m okay,” Shane knew he wasn’t okay, his brain still wasn’t fully there. But Ilya didn’t need to be burdened with that when his father just did. Shane wouldn’t do that to him. 

“I scared you,” Ilya didn’t ask, it was a statement. 

“I’m okay now. I promise.” It wasn’t a full lie, he was better. His brain wasn’t where it was 10 minutes ago. 

There was yelling on Ilya’s side of the phone, Shane had no idea what was being said, it sounded like people screaming in Russian. “I have to go. I just wanted to see you.” Ilya whispered into the phone. 

“Call if you need anything,” Shane said, he saw Ilya nod, and he swears he saw Ilya blow a kiss. And that nearly caused his heart to stop. The call was disconnected and Shane was sitting alone on his couch. He needed to sleep. 

Two Days Later

Lily

Are you alone?

Can I call?

Shane quickly texted back, “I’m alone,” And his phone was lit up and he saw his name flashing across the screen.

He was leaving the hotel room and heading to the stairwell as fast as he could, praying that nobody would be using the stairs at this time. 

“How are you?” Shane asked the second he picked up the phone. 

“Okay. Not good. Probably bad.” Ilya sighed into the phone. 

“How’s your uh— family?” Shane questioned. 

“At their worst. Uh— I don’t know. My brother is scared. Fuck. Sorry. English is hard today.” Ilya confessed. 

“I have an idea,” Shane tried. He didn’t know if this would work, or if Ilya would ever be up for this, but he wanted to try, he needed to try.  “How about you tell me everything you need to say but in Russian? I won’t understand but it would help?” 

“Okay.” Ilya said. 

Shane sat there and listened, he listened to every single word he said. Shane couldn’t understand what he was saying, but he could tell it was passionate and angry, and sad all at once, just by the tone of voice Ilya was using. 

“Chert. Ne tak kakya lyublyu tebya. I vot v chom vsya khren'. ya khochu tol'ko tebya. I vsegda tol'ko tebya. ya tak sil'no tebya lyublyu i ne znayu chto s etim delat'.” Ilya spoke, cutting Shane off from his thoughts. Ilya sounded beautiful. Shane could listen to him talk all day. 

“Okay. Am done.” Ilya breathed. 

“Do you feel better?” Shane asked. 

“Yes. Thank you.” Ilya spoke. 

“I wish you were here,” Shane sighed, he wanted to hold Ilya. Tell him everything was going to be okay, his Alpha was in distress and he couldn’t be there to make it better. Shane felt useless. 

“I wish I was there too,” Ilya mumbled in Russian. They sat there on the phone in the quiet for a couple of minutes before Ilya hung up. Shane leaned his head against the railing. There had to be something he could do. 

Boston — Two Days Later

This was insane. Shane was being insane. This was fucking insane. He had another three days off before he was needed back in Montreal. Ilya as well. They both were going to be in Montreal at the same time, they were playing against each other. He spoke to Ilya the night prior, he had asked him what time he was getting back into Boston. Ilya didn’t think much of it, at least that’s what Shane thought. 

But Shane— Shane was in Boston right now. Ilya had shared his door code with Shane the last time they spent the night with each other. He just had to scroll back up in the text thread to find it. He was in Boston, inside of Ilya’s house, without Ilya knowing. This was such a bad idea. What if he was bringing someone else home? What if he didn’t want to see Shane? 

No. Shane had to stop those thoughts. This wasn’t what he was here for. He wanted to make Ilya feel better. He wanted to help him feel better. That’s how his whole nest ended up inside Ilya’s house on his bed. Shane lugged every piece of item he used in his nest, adding some extra things that smelt like him the most, from Montreal to Boston. 

He’s a nester, Shane loved to nest. His nest made him feel better— feel safe. Not all omegas always use nests like that. Some will only use the while in heat, not Shane though. Shane craved comfort in his nest, he felt less anxious in his nest. He wanted to do the same for Ilya. He hoped to do the same for Ilya. 

Shane was sitting on the edge of Ilya’s bed when he heard the front door open, then he heard, “Hello? Who is in here?” 

The kitchen light. He forgot he clicked them and never clicked them back off, Ilya was probably confused on why they were on. He walked out of the bedroom, and his eyes directly met Ilya’s. 

Shane? You are here?” Ilya asked, dropping the duffle bag of his luggage on the floor, rushing to Shane’s side. He was engulfed into a huge hug, Ilya’s arms wrapped tightly around his body. 

“Hi,” Shane giggled into Ilya’s neck, leaving a kiss there. 

“What are you doing here? We have a game?” Ilya asked, then pressed a kiss to Shane’s lips. It’s been 3 months since they were able to be with each other. They’d been so busy with games, their schedules didn’t line up together. The game at the end of the week in Montreal would’ve been the first time they saw each other. 

“I needed to see you. To make sure you're okay,” Shane responded. “I brought you something,” 

“Me? Hollander, what did you bring me? Your cock?” Ilya smirked, his hands gripping Shane’s ass tightly.

“You asshole. No! Not that,” Shane swatted his chest lightly. He grabbed Ilya’s hand and led him into the bedroom. To the average person, it wouldn’t look like anything was done. Just a bed with extra pillows and items covered on it. Ilya knew right away though. He would’ve recognized those items anywhere. 

“You are in heat?” Ilya asked, Shane could see him sniffing the air harder than normal. 

“No?” Shane asked, he was mostly confused why Ilya would assume he was in heat, especially with knowing Ilya could scent his heat from a distance. 

“Your nest? Is at my house?” Ilya said, but it came off more of a question. 

Shane’s cheeks turned bright red, his ears flushing a shade of red. “Yeah. For— Uh— For you.” The last two words were muttered a lot softer, if Ilya wasn’t standing so close to him he would’ve missed the last two words that Shane spoke. 

“For me?” Ilya raised his eyebrows. 

Shane fucked up. This was stupid. He should’ve never done it. Ilya didn’t want this, he didn’t want Shane’s stupid nest. He was embarrassed. This was embarrassing. Fuck. He wished this was an idea he never came up with. That he stayed in Montreal and never did this. Now he was going to have to clean up his nest while Ilya sat there and watched. While he probably texted his teammates and laughed at him. Shane tugged at the bottom of his shirt, taking a step back to create some distance between him and Ilya. 

“Sorry— I— I’ll get rid of it. You just got home. You— You probably want to rest. I’ll get rid of it.” Shane’s breath hitched, he went to go turn towards the bed to grab everything. He’d get a hotel, hell, he’d sleep on the side of the road if that meant he was anywhere but here. 

“Shane” Ilya softly spoke, pulling Shane back into his arms. “You are having panic attack,” One of Ilya’s hands came up to caress his cheek. 

“Sorry,” Shane tried to slow his breathing down to lessen his heart rate. 

“You did this for me?” Ilya asked, his eyes looking over to the bed. 

“Yeah.” Shane responded, he needed to say as little words as possible. 

“All for me?” Ilya’s eyes went so soft. 

“You were sad. My nest makes me feel better. I wanted it to make you feel better.” Because I love you. Shane responded. He so badly wanted to say those 3 words. He wanted to tell Ilya how much he meant to him. That he was in love with him. But he didn’t, he couldn’t. Not yet. 

“Come here.” Ilya pulled Shane into a soul shattering hug. His arms wrapped tightly around his body. “My sweet boy,” Ilya mumbled in Russian. 

Ilya was dragging them both to the bed, they were both fully dressed. This wasn’t an “I want to fuck you” pull to the bed, but something softer, something more quiet. They laid there together in the quiet, neither of them said any words to each other. They just laid there and held each other. Ilya’s head was buried into Shane’s chest, and Shane just held him. He could feel the shirt he was wearing getting wet against his chest. Ilya was crying. Shane didn’t say anything though, he just let Ilya lay there, as he pet his hair. 

I love you so much.

Shane was so fucked. 

Montreal — Four Days Later 

Hayden tapped Shane on the back in the locker room, “You ready for tonight?” 

Shane was in fact ready for tonight, he was ready to beat Boston and get fucked. He wouldn’t admit that to Hayden though, that was something he would keep to himself. 

“We’re gonna kick Boston’s ass.” Shane chuckled, grabbing the rest of the gear he needed before heading out onto the ice. Ilya and his team were already out there, he could see him doing his warmups. Don’t look or you’re going to get hard. 

“Hollander,” Ilya called over to him, using his hand to direct him over. 

“Rozanov,” Shane spoke, as he skated over to where Ilya was on the ice. 

“We are still on for tonight?” Ilya looked around while whispering, he was making sure no one was close enough to hear them. 

“Of course.” Shane laughed. “You remember the code?” He lowered his voice. 

“1919.” Ilya responded, as the whistle that meant the game was starting went off. Both of them made their way over to the side of the rink they belonged on. 

They were the staring faceoff, Ilya hit Shane with his crooked smile, the one that usually made Shane blush 5 different shades of red. Shane giggled, he was already thrown off from the look on Ilya’s face, and when Ilya tapped his hockey stick over Shane’s, it made him blush an even deeper shade of red. This was his favorite form of foreplay. 

The game had barely started, it must’ve been only 30 seconds, Shane had turned for a split second to look at Ilya who had just skated past him. And without even giving Shane a second go record, he was getting slammed into, landing directly on the ice. 

“Hollander?” Ilya called out, Shane could hear him, but he couldn’t respond.

“Shane?” Ilya tried again. No response. 

“Is he breathing? Is he fucking breathing?” That was strange, that was Ilya’s voice but it really didn’t sound like him. Holy shit. He was using his Alpha voice in the middle of the rink. 

“Tell him. Someone tell him I’m okay,” Shane squeaked out, as he felt himself getting lifted into the air. “My parents, they are here,” 

“We called your parents Shane. They are gonna meet you at the hospital," A voice he didn’t recognize spoke.

“Tell him I’m okay. He’s gonna worry.” Shane spoke again, a single tear running down his eye.

“We told your dad, he knows.” The voice responded. 

Shane was starting to get frustrated, he was hurt, he couldn’t see or keep his eyes open, and they weren’t listening to him. “No, not him. Ilya.” 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

Ilya stank. He could smell himself more than typical. It wasn’t his normal smell, his scent patches and suppressants barely working. By the way he reeked, you would think he has never taken a suppressant in his life, and didn’t have scent patches on. He used his Alpha voice on the ice. In front of an arena of people, in front of his teammates. Who definitely knew what just happened. They gave him a bunch of questioning looks— looks that screamed “Why did you just whip out your Alpha voice when Hollander was hurt?” He knew there were going to be a lot of questions he’d be forced to answer in the locker room. He didn’t fucking care about that. He needed to get to Shane. 

It didn’t help that he had to play a whole game directly right after that happened, he had to play mister team captain. He was fuming by the end of the game. Everyone knew it, the crowd knew it, his team knew it. And fucking Cliff Marlow. He had the smuggest look on his face. A face like he enjoyed watching Shane go down. Ilya wanted to punch it. He wanted to punch that smirk right off his face. 

The locker room smelt sour. Everybody was looking at him, there wasn’t one set of eyes in the locker room that weren’t directed at Ilya. Well. That wasn’t true. Cliff refused to make eye contact with Ilya, instead he pretended Ilya didn’t exist. That pissed Ilya off more than he already was. 

“He’s a fucking pussy. I didn’t even hit him that hard.” Cliff spoke, using too much of a mocking voice for Ilya’s liking. 

“Ilya.” Zadonsky warned, he could already see where this was going. 

“What the fuck did you just say?” Ilya’s jaw locked. He was directly facing Marlow now. 

Marlow just laughed. “Who are you going all Alpha on Roz? And for Hollander?” 

Ilya knew he shouldn’t punch Cliff Marlow. He knew it was wrong, that the coach would bench him and he’d be in trouble. Logical thinking was out the window though. That surpassed since he saw Shane laying out on the ice not moving. 

“You hit him hard Marlow! Sorry I care for others!” Ilya was using every sense in his body not to punch him square in the face. 

“We won the fucking game! Who fucking cares!” Marlow spat out. “That faggot deserved it.” That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Ilya didn’t realize he had Marlow cornered against the locker, and his hand collided with his face till three of his team mates were pulling him away from Cliff, holding him back. 

Ilya didn’t shower. He ripped off the hockey gear and put outside clothes on and left. Not saying one word to anyone. Despite multiple people calling out his name. His hand was killing him, it was going to leave a nasty bruise on his knuckles. He pulled out his phone to call a Taxi, he didn’t even know what hospital Shane was at. He didn’t ask anyone, or even know if anyone would know. But the league usually sticks to the same stuff, so he hoped that Shane would be at the hospital and that one of his teammates had to be rushed to the last game.  

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

Hospitals were cold. Shane could feel himself shivering, he just wanted to be balled up in his nest. His head hurt so fucking bad. He didn’t remember much of what happened, only that Cliff had slammed right into him at the perfect timing and that Ilya used his Alpha voice. Everything else gets kind of dicey. 

The first time his parents left the room, he grabbed his phone and typed “Come” into the text thread with Lily, sending a Find My Phone location next. He threw his phone down on the side of the bed, his free hand that wasn’t in the sling covering his eyes. He was concussed pretty badly. The doctor lady— he was having trouble remembering her name, told him he was lucky it wasn’t worse. He had a Grade III concussion, and a broken collarbone. 

He was out of hockey for the rest of the season, there was no doubt about that. And he’d probably be staying with his parents up until summer time, especially in the beginning when he’d need extra help. He just wanted Ilya. There was nothing even in this hotel room that even reminded him of him. His scent was nowhere. He sighed and sunk deeper into the hospital bed. His parents had told him they were going back to the hotel for the night and he needed rest. Yeah. Rest. 

Time didn’t make sense while he was here. He felt like he had his eyes closed for hours, but glancing at the wall clock, it had only been 15 minutes. The door swung open gently, he assumed it was one of the nurses coming to check up on him. It was dark in his room, they made sure to get the lights extra dimmed to help with his concussion. His eyes needed a minute to adjust, but his brain didn’t. Ilya. He smelt him instantly. He smelt, mad? Angry? That wasn’t his usual scent.

Was he angry at Shane? Mad that he got hurt? That he ruined their plans for the night? He was coming to end things with him. Shane was going to be broken and out of the game and alone. He wouldn’t even have Ilya anymore. 

“My sweet boy,” Ilya cooed, walking up to the hospital bed, the back of his fingers rubbing along where Shane’s freckles were. 

“Ilya,” Shane mumbled out, his head tipping into Shane’s fingers. “How’d you get in? It’s past visiting hours,” Shane asked. He really didn’t care, he was just glad that Ilya was here. 

“Think the nurse on call saw the way I reacted on the television. Just let me in.” Ilya said, pulling the chair that was placed in the corner of the room up to his bed. 

“You used your Alpha voice,” Shane responded. 

“You remember that?” Ilya asked, sitting on the chair, his hand going back to trace the bruises on Shane’s face. 

Shane nodded. 

“You scared me,” Ilya truthfully spoke. 

“You’re angry at me?” Shane’s eyes opened up, he could feel tears forming in the corner of his eyes. 

“What?” Ilya asked, his fingers cupping Shane’s cheek. “Why do you think?” 

“Smell it. You smell mad. Lots of rage smelling stuff,” Shane slurred out, he was so high from the pain meds they had given him. His brain was trying to jumble words together as best he could. 

“Oh sweetheart,” Ilya sighed, “I am sorry. I did not shower. Just came here.” 

“Why do you smell mad though?” Shane was scrunching his nose, his eyes were open and he was looking straight at Ilya. 

“Punched Cliff Marlow.” Ilya deadpanned.

“What?” Shane gasped, his eyes widening. “You punched someone? Ilya!” Shane was trying so hard to sound mad, that he was upset with Ilya for punching out one of his team mates. But at that moment he was so thankful. So thankful that he had a blanket covering the bottom part of his legs to hide the fact that his dick was way too hard in his pants. That Ilya went out of his way to protect him, he risked getting in trouble for him. 

“You sound mad,” Ilya smirked. 

“I am mad! You can just go around punching people!” Shane exclaimed, it wasn’t super loud, but loud enough to get the point across. It was late and he was in a hospital, Shane was still respectful.

“Interesting.” Ilya smirked again, his fingers rubbing over Shane’s jawline. 

Shane could see Ilya moving closer to him, his face was practically hovering over Shane’s. Ilya pressed a kiss to Shane’s lips, which caused a quiet gasp from Shane’s mouth. 

“You say you’re angry,” Ilya pressed a kiss to his jaw, “But your scent tells me you aren’t, sweetheart.” 

“Ilya—“ Shane starts, but is quickly cut off by Ilya pressing another kiss to his lips. 

“Bet you could take your Alpha right here. You’re so hot over him protecting you?” Ilya growled. 

“Ilya— hospital— fuck.” Shane moaned, as Ilya nipped at his jawline again, not enough to leave a mark, but enough to have shivers run down his spine. “We’re in a hospital— Ilya.” Shane whined. 

“Do not worry. I will not fuck you in hospital bed. I want to hear you scream my name. Can not do that here,” He kissed Shane again, before moving back into the chair comfortably. 

“It’s late.” Shane sighed. “They’ll kick you out soon.” 

“Am already here past visiting hours, Shane. They let me in. Am sleeping here with you.” Ilya laughed. 

“Ilya, that chair can’t be comfy,” Shane spoke against better judgment. He wanted Ilya to stay, he wanted to be able to feel him, to smell him. But Ilya had games to play still, he couldn’t risk his back getting fucked up from sleeping in a crap hospital chair. “Don’t you leave tomorrow?” The dreaded words came out of Shane’s mouth. Ilya was leaving. Ilya had games to play. 

“Tomorrow afternoon, da,” Ilya moved his hand from Shane’s face, to his hand, placing his hand directly over his. “What difference I sleep here or hotel.” Ilya shrugged.

“Mmkay.” Shane yawned, the drugs the nurse had given him before really kicking in now. His eyes started to flutter close, but he fought to keep them open. 

“Sleep. Will be here when you wake up,” 

Shane nodded, letting his eyes actually flutter close this time. His head still felt funny, and his collarbone was still killing him. But the space felt a lot lighter now, safer. Like he could finally relax for the first time tonight. He felt Ilya lay his head next to his hand, he fell asleep to that thought and feeling. 

Ilya didn’t stay long when he woke up, he was already playing it too close staying here, Shane knew that, Shane knew he was being needy. But Ilya didn’t care, Ilya appeased him, he slept on a hospital chair that was definitely not comfortable for him.

“I’m sorry I have to leave sweetheart,” Ilya whispered into Shane’s hair. 

“You have a game, I can’t be mad,” Shane sighed. 

“Of course you’re allowed to be sad, your feelings matter,” Ilya said before pressing a kiss to Shane’s hairline. 

“Text me when you get there? Okay?” Shane asked. 

“You can’t be on your phone,” Ilya tried. 

“I don’t care,” Shane groaned.

Ilya chuckled, kissing Shane, and then making his way over to the door. “Bye,” His voice was soft. 

His mom showed up in his room not even five minutes later, Shane was just thankful she hadn’t walked in and ran into Ilya. He was not ready to explain any of that to her yet. 

“You know what is so funny?” Yuna started.

Oh no.

“Yeah mom?” Shane asked.

“I saw Ilya Rozanov leaving when I was coming up, and he was leaving the same floor number you’re on,” Yuna raised an eyebrow at Shane.

“Uh— Yeah. He— Uh. Came to check on me, you know captain of the other team doing the right thing?” Shane said, probably rather too quickly.

“Huh. Okay. Good to know. I like him a little more now then,” Yuna shrugged and then change the conversation topic

Shane just prayed his mom didn’t smell him when she walked in here, because Shane knew he could still smell it lingering in the air. She didn’t bring it up, so he didn’t either. Maybe that was the safer way to go.

♡ ‪💛🏒 💙♡

Two Months Later — Ottawa

Shane was going insane. His parents were driving him absolutely up the wall. He loves his parents— so much, he really does. But god he forgot how annoying and overbearing they can be, especially his mother. His concussion was pretty much recovered at this point. He was still following limited screen time, not even due to his doctors orders. But to his mothers orders. That meant limited time with Ilya, since they mostly had to communicate through phone right now. 

They were sitting on the couch, Shane had spoken to Ilya on the phone earlier in the day, Ilya called him before practice to check in on him. It was a pretty important game tonight so Shane didn’t keep him long. 

“He’s hurt,” Yuna spoke, her hands pointing at the screen. 

“What?” Shane whispered, he was trying to avoid the concern that was radiating through his voice. 

“His ribs, look at the way he’s playing,” Yuna said before getting up to meet David in the kitchen. 

Shane knew there was nothing he could do right now, Ilya was in the middle of a game, he was playing. It’s not like he could text him and Ilya could whip out his phone and tell him he’s okay. He just knew how Ilya was, he could be dying and hurt yet he’d still be playing hockey. He was a fucking idiot. Shane can’t even blame him, he does the same thing. 

The game ended and Boston lost, which meant Ilya was officially out of the playoffs. Shane felt sad for Ilya, if he couldn’t make it to the playoffs, at least Ilya could’ve made it to the cup. He was hanging around in the living room, pacing up and down the floor. This was typical for him— the pacing. It was a nervous and anxious tendency. He didn’t realize how nervous he was, he hadn't heard from Ilya yet, and normally it wasn’t a huge deal. Ilya would go out with his team after a game, Shane knew that. But he couldn’t get his mothers words out of his head.

His ribs, he’s hurt.

His ribs, he’s hurt.

His ribs, he’s hurt. 

And then his phone lit up, he’s never snatched his phone from the couch so fast. He didn’t even look at who was calling. It could’ve been Hayden for fucksake.

It wasn’t until he heard the husky voice on the other end he knew it was Ilya. “Hi,” 

“Ilya,” Shane answered. He wanted to scream and yell into the phone— he wanted to yell at Ilya for playing while hurt but he couldn’t. He knew he couldn’t. 

“Come here. I miss you,” Ilya breathed into the phone, it sounded like he was crying? But why would Ilya be crying, he did just lose the game, but he’s lost games before and hasn’t cried because of it. Could it be because he’s hurt? He’s hurting too much and the crying is from the pain? That has to be it. Shane completely disregarded the part saying, “I miss you,” and that could easily be why Ilya is so upset right now. But no. Never that.

“Ilya, you’re crying? You’re in pain? You’re hurt?” Shane frantically asked. 

“Da, but not why I am sad. I want you here. With me. Come here. Before cottage.” Ilya tried again.

“Okay— Okay. Yeah. Let me get ready. I just got cleared by my doctor to drive the other day too. If I leave now I’ll get there by like 2,” Shane quickly walked over to his room and started going through things he needed to bring. There was a bunch of stuff he left at Ilya’s house that he wouldn’t need to bring, but he still needed to make sure he had clothes. 

“Leave tonight? Shane you don’t have to come tonight,” Ilya started but Shane quickly cut him off. 

“You need me. I’m coming. No questions asked. I’m hanging up. Let me get ready.” Shane had put his phone down on the bed so he could focus on getting ready.

“Sweetheart.” 

Shane knew Ilya was going to try and talk him out of it, but he was not having that. There was no talking him out. Once he had his mind set on something, he was going to do it no matter what. 

“You can’t talk me out of it. I’m coming. I’m literally leaving right now.” There was rustling on Shane’s end of the phone. He was grabbing his back and slipping his shoes on. 

“Shane.” Ilya tried again. “Please drive safely,” Ilya sighed. 

“I will. I will. I promise,” Shane spoke before hanging up the phone. 

He walked past his parents room, his mom was still up, he could hear her tapping on her laptop keyboard, he knocked on the door and pushed open the door before she could even answer. Quickly he realized there was no way that he could tell his mom that Ilya Rozanov asked him to come to Boston to be with him. Shane wasn’t even out to his mom, let allow being able to tell her whatever his relationship with Ilya was. 

“Shane? You have a bag? Where are you going?” Yuna asked, setting her laptop to the side.

“I think I’m going to head to the cottage early this year,” Shane lied. That was the only thing he could think of that quickly.

Yuna raised her eyebrows, the same look she would give when she wasn’t buying something he was saying. Shane prayed that wasn’t the case here and that she just was concerned since he was already hurt.

“You’re going to see him aren’t you?” Yuna softly spoke, it wasn’t in her typical hardcore momager voice, but just her regular mom voice. 

“What?” Shane choked out. He couldn’t believe the words he was hearing out of his mothers mouth, that she had asked if he was going to see him. That him having to be Ilya. 

“Shane, honey,” Yuna chuckled. “You think you’re being slick, and maybe you are with some people. But I’m your mother, I could smell it from a mile away. I figured something was happening when he stayed with you at the hospital, but seeing and sensing your reaction tonight. Honey I figured it out,”

“But—but, you aren’t mad? That it’s Ilya? That it’s a man?” Shane questioned.

“A man? No, definitely not. I already kind of figured you were gay, I just hoped you’d come to it on your own terms. And Ilya? Maybe at first, sure I wish it wouldn’t of been a Boston player, let alone your rival. But he loves you, I can see that. So no, I don’t care it’s him,” Yuna reached out her hand, signaling Shane to come closer. He followed, and his mom embraced him in a huge hug.

“We haven’t said that yet,” Shane started, “Saying I love you,” 

“And that’s okay. I can still see it though,” Yuna tightened her grip around him for a second before releasing and letting Shane go. 

“I was scared to tell you,” Shane confessed. He didn’t know how she would react. They never came off as homophobic, or said anything that could be painted that way but he knows how Asian families can be when it comes to being gay. He saw the way his grandmother acted when one of his cousins came out as gay. She was a lesbian, so it was a little different but it was still something that stuck with him. 

He just didn’t know if his mom was better at hiding it, that even if they were homophobic, maybe they hid it enough Shane would’ve never seen it growing up. 

“Oh, Shane,” Yuna replied. There were tears welling up in her eyes. “Hey. Hey. Look at me,” 

Shane looked at her, his own eyelashes were wet with tears, some spilling over onto his cheeks. “I really tried to be, normal mom, I need you to know I really tried,” 

“Hey. Stop it. I’m so sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t tell me Shane. That you wouldn’t be safe. I’m your mom, I’ll love you no matter what,” Yuna gave him a hug again. The both sat there in silence before Yuna was shoving him out the door.

“Now go see your man, get out of here. I love you. Be safe,” Yuna said, and blew him a kiss. 

Shane nodded before heading out the door, he felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off his chest. He’d been harboring this very secret for years, hiding his feelings for Ilya, from the world, from his family. And sure, maybe his mom isn’t everyone, but it was someone— it was something. That was better than nothing, it wasn’t something he was holding dear to his chest anymore. Or that he would be afraid to slip up to his parents, and they still loved him, regardless. 

The whole drive to Boston he had the biggest cheesiest grin on his face, he was definitely thankful he remembered to pack his pain killers with him, just regular tylenol doing the trick now. He did need to pull over once a little bit past the halfway point, his shoulder started bothering him. Only an hour and half left. He could do this. It was half past 12 now, he’d be at Ilya’s house exactly at 2, just as he predicted. He couldn’t wait to just breathe Ilya in, it had been a long two months. It was pathetic. He was pathetic. But Ilya didn’t seem to care so why should Shane?

Shane didn’t even text Ilya he was there, he just buzzed himself in, he wasn’t even sure if Ilya was still awake. He did play a game today, and it was currently 2 in the morning, Shane was hoping Ilya at least slept some. He gently closed the door behind him, not wanting to wake Ilya if he was asleep. He walked past the living room, the typical way to get to the bedroom and Ilya was lying on the couch. He did not look comfortable in the slightest, his feet were perched in a weird position, the remote controller laid on top of his chest, and a low hum came from the tv. 

First he grabbed the remote, clicking off the tv, he then dropped his bag to the ground— he could get that tomorrow. He tapped Ilya’s shoulder, not wanting to freak him out but the bed had to be more comfortable than this. 

“Ilya,” Shane whispered, brushing his fingers against Ilya’s hair. 

“Mmh?” Ilya groaned in his sleep, shifting under Shane’s touch. 

“Come on. Lets get you to bed,” Shane let the back of his hand run along Ilya’s hairline and cheekbone, finding it’s home against his jawline.

“You are here?” Ilya mumbled, his eyes fluttering open, before shutting again. 

“I’m here. Come on, this can’t be comfortable,” Shane tried again. 

“Mmm, nope,” Ilya spoke, his eyes still shut. He grabbed the hand that was against his cheek and pulled Shane down onto the couch. Which caused Shane to go toppling over the edge of the couch, directly landing on Ilya. 

Shane let out a quick squeal, he barely had any time to think as two arms wrapped around his waist. Shane found himself putting his head in the crook of Ilya’s neck, he was dangerously close to his scent gland. Ilya wasn’t wearing a patch, he could smell it as he walked through the door, and now he has confirmation with his own eyes. 

Ilya beat Shane to it though, he pulled Shane’s body closer to his, he used his hand to push Shane’s neck closer to his and rubbed his scent gland against Shane’s neck, scent marking Shane.

“Did you just scent mark me?” Shane asked, while not moving from his space in his neck. 

“Mhm, now we sleep,” Ilya yawned while making sure Shane couldn’t free himself from Ilya’s embrace. 

It didn’t take Shane long to fall asleep. And if you asked him, he would tell you it was probably one of the best sleeps he’s had in a long time. 

♡ ‪💛🏒 💙♡

It was weird being in Boston like this, with no obligations, no pressure to have to do anything. It was just him and Ilya, they were in their own little world. Of course Shane left the house, but for right now while they navigated this newish thing. Never together, it was too risky. 

Ilya did most of the shopping, the press wouldn’t question why he was shopping around Boston— his home. Shane did smaller errands, like running to Walgreens in the middle of the night or picking up Ilya’s favorite wine from a very specific store. Ilya had an acquired taste.

Shane found himself having more free time, he finally felt safe enough to start being on his phone more. Though, when the doctors even were telling him to stay off the phone he wasn’t the best patient.  He did find a silly app on his phone, and at first it started as something to pass time. Quickly he realized this was something he was very passionate about. 

Learning someone's native tongue was one of the most intimate things you could do. It was like you were studying that person inside out. That you truly wanted to know them on a deeper level, that learning their native tongue and knowing where they came from was important to you. That's how Shane found himself on this ridiculously beautiful app. He had thought about this while being with his parents. But his concussion was worse then, and even English was hard. Shane couldn’t imagine trying to teach himself another language when he could barely understand his own at that moment. 

So Russian was put on the back burner, it was just a thought that had slipped into his mind while being bored with his parents. He never thought he’d actually follow through on it. But as he laid there in Ilya’s bed, his sweatshirt, surrounded by sheets that smelled of the night before, the app being the first thing he wanted to open. Ilya had run to the store real fast, they had run out of food and Ilya had no issue running to pick stuff up. He’d usually be gone for at least an hour, so Shane knew he had the next hour to play around on the app and take one of the lessons. 

He loved this— he loved him. He just didn’t fully know how to say it yet, not without ruining everything they’ve built. Part of Shane knew though— he knew that Ilya loved him back, it was just unspoken words right now. A mutual silence. Both of their actions spoke so much louder than words. 

Shane had ended up lost in his own thoughts, the phone had already clicked off and the black screen was face down on his chest. The front door opening and closing had snapped him out of it. He hadn’t even realized it had been an hour already. His mind was too busy racing with thoughts that didn’t need to be there. 

“Hi,” Ilya spoke as he strolled into the bedroom, he didn’t have any bags in his hand so he assumed Ilya must’ve dropped them off in the kitchen on the way to the bedroom. 

“How was the store?” Shane asked, before pressing a quick kiss to Ilya’s lips. 

“Quiet, was not many people. You should’ve came,” Ilya responded. This wasn't the first time Ilya had brought this up, though he knew it was never meant to pressure Shane and it was what he was comfortable with. 

A lot of this was new to Shane though too, if you would’ve told him he was hauled up in Ilya Rozanov's bed a few years ago, he would’ve never believed you. Just like if you told the world that Ilya is one of the softest and clingest people Shane has ever met they wouldn’t believe you. Shane was still processing all of this. That never meant he didn’t want it though, because he did, so badly. 

“I have an idea,” Shane whispered. It was something he’s been thinking about for awhile, since the day he had arrived to Boston actually. Ilya could say no, but there was also a chance he’d say yes. 

“Yes?” Ilya raised his eyebrows in response, giving his “I’m not sure where this is going” face. 

“Do you think people will think it’s weird if we go to the Stanley cup together?” Shane asked, he was looking for Ilya’s honest answer. 

“Maybe. Probably not. I don't know. We are two hockey players, not to wow to be there,” Ilya shrugged. 

Shane sighed. It was a bad idea. People would be so confused, they are rivals, they are literal hockey players. People would know who they were and spot them instantly. “Never mind. It was a stupid idea.” 

“You want to go to the Stanley Cup?” Ilya started, “To see Scott Hunter play?” He winked at Shane.

“Yes— fuck. Yes to the Stanley Cup— not fucking— fucking Scott Hunter.” Shane sniffled, wiping the leftover tears on his cheeks. 

He hated how sensitive he was— how easily he was to cry. But Ilya never made him feel bad about it, he’d just hold him and let him feel whatever emotions he needed to feel. 

“Lyubov moya. Why are you crying?” Ilya asked, plopping himself down on the bed next to Shane. 

“Just— I don’t know. I hate this,” Shane started, “Not this like us— never that. But just. I want to be able to go out with you, be seen in public. I’m just so scared. I hate it.” Shane sighed. 

“We will go.” Ilya spoke.

“What?” Shane asked, making sure he was understanding what Ilya was saying correctly.

“The Stanley Cup, we will go,” Ilya kissed him again. “Two hockey players at the Stanley Cup, will not be huge deal. We will go,” Ilya placed his hands on Shane’s cheeks. 

“Are you sure?” Shane always second guessed everything. 

“I am sure of everything with you,” Ilya spoke, rubbing his finger tips over Shane’s cheeks.

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

June 2017– New York City

New York was oddly warm, that was the first thing Shane noticed as he stepped outside. He’s been to New York before, obviously, but a lot of the time he’s just playing hockey. He’s never really got to experience the full “New York” experience. He didn’t realize New York gets this hot this early in the year. But he was hit with a tidal wave of heat the second he stepped out the hotel

Ilya had called them a cab, their hotel wasn’t super far from MSG but that would mean taking the subway, and that was something Shane did not want to do. There was something about being in such close contact with strangers and trapped in a moving car that panicked him. So a cab would have to do it for them, and it did. 

A black van pulled up into the pickup area that was right in front of the hotel, Ilya knew it was for them. After much research on discreteness, he ended up finding a company that was known to make sure celebrities and likewise got around safely. And Ilya knew they weren’t that famous, they weren’t on the level that most people who used services like this were. But it was the day of the Stanley Cup, in New York City, where the event was happening. The city was bound to be  crawling with people who could easily recognize them, and Ilya needed to make sure they were able to get there safely. 

They decided that sitting in the actual stands of the game would be way too dangerous, especially not having any security detail. Which prompted Ilya to reach out to the Boston Raiders team manager and ask if any suites were still available. Usually in the beginning of the year players have a chance to reserve a suite for the Stanley Cup if they wanted, but most players never took that offer up. Luckily there were quite a few suites left, Ilya requested if he could have a private one. Surprisingly they said yes. Now explaining why Shane Hollander was going to  be there with him was the tricky part. Ilya opted with telling them that he and Shane were friends, they played against each other for years, of course they developed a friendship in some sense. 

Shockingly, they bought it, and didn’t ask many questions, not that they could even if they wanted to. There weren't questions to even ask, no one saw it for the way that it actually was. Shane had a white t-shirt on that was way too big for him, he’d stolen it from Ilya’s closet, he had lived in Ilya’s clothes these days.  They did have their scent blockers on though, they’d both taken the pill this morning and put the patches on for extra protection. Ilya had been scenting Shane like crazy, there wasn’t a day that passed that Ilya didn’t do it. So blockers were the way to go in a space that could clock it instantly. 

“Today is the first day in weeks that I don't smell like you,” Shane whispered, low enough so the man driving the car wouldn’t hear him. 

“I know. Which is why you’re wearing my shirt, yes?” Ilya whispered back. 

“Yeah,” Shane’s cheeks slowly turned red, his golden freckles darkening up under his blush infused cheeks. 

The rest of the drive was fairly quiet, they both sat on their respected sides of the car, there was a low hum coming from the speakers. Shane couldn’t tell what it was, it was just a tune that the driver had clicked on, probably just the radio. The urges to touch each other were there, Shane wanted to move closer to Ilya, preferably in his lap. Ilya’s hand inched towards his, they didn’t touch though, they just let the hands linger there. Their pinkies were grazing ever so slightly. 

Shane saw it first, the view of the entrance, they were going in the special entrance that regular people weren’t allowed in. The car was stopped and Shane could feel it switch to the park gear, that was their cue to get out and they had arrived. Shane thanked the driver before stepping out and following Ilya. Neither of them had any clue where they were going. This entrance was new to them, they were used to coming through the entrance the hockey players went in at, not where the family and friends got dropped off. With following a few signs that were plastered on the walls, they were able to make it to where they were supposed to be. 

Ilya said both of their names to the man guarding the door, he gave them both the respected passes they needed to enter into certain areas and let them through. Though, they wouldn’t be leaving the suite much. They had a bathroom in there if needed and Ilya made sure to have food ordered there in case they needed it. The point was to be there but to try and not be seen as much as possible. 

The suite was decently sized, it wasn’t small but it also wasn’t huge, it was somewhere in the middle of the two. There was a lot of privacy, Shane will give it that. The room was further back, and there was a door leading down to a set of 8 seats. It was covered with TV screens, assuming that if there weren't enough seats the people inside still could watch what was going on. You could see the rink from inside the suite though, there was a window with chairs and what seemed to be a small table to keep your drinks at. They would spend most of the time there, so they could still enjoy the game.

“I want a kiss,” Shane said, his arms resting on the table that was in the center of the room. 

Ilya wasted no time leaving his spot at the front of the suite to give Shane exactly what he wanted. 

“You ordered so much food,” Shane giggled into Ilya’s mouth. They were barely kissing anymore, they both had huge grins on their faces. 

“They just gave this much. I did not ask for it all,” Ilya laughed, pushing Shane up against the table. His back was digging into the table, it would definitely leave a mark later, but Shane didn’t care. 

The game started off pretty slow, there wasn’t much happening. It almost felt like they weren’t in a Stanley Cup game, there was no fight, no drive. Shane was slightly bored watching the game. But something flipped halfway through the game, it was like both teams woke up and were fighting for it. 

Shane was shocked though, his mom was shockingly right, The Admirals were in the lead, and they were playing decently well. 

“Scott Hunter is playing a damn good game today,” Shane said, his head leaning on Ilya’s shoulder. 

“Uhck” Ilya responded.

“You hate him so much,” Shane laughed.

“Yes. He is 100 years old.” Ilya responded. 

“My moms been right so far, it’s looking like they are gonna win,” Shane kissed Ilya’s shoulder. 

Neither of them said anything more, they just kept on watching the game. Ilya had gotten up at one point to grab some food from the table, they ordered it, might as well eat it. He didn’t want to let perfectly good food go to waste. Shane opted for the salad, verse Ilya eating the pasta and what seemed to be a juicy piece of chicken

The end of the game neared, New York was still in the lead, by a lot . It was going to be their night if everything went right and they kept on playing the way they were. The place erupted with screams, everyone was cheering. It was so loud. Shane doesn’t really hear too much of the screaming when he’s on the ice, it’s always there but his adrenaline usually blocks it out. 

“Good game. Can’t believe they won,” Shane said to Ilya, whose eyes were hyper focused on the ice. “What?” Shane asked once he noticed.

“What is he doing?” Ilya asked, in confusion.

“Who?” Shane responded, looking down towards the ice. Scott Hunter was in the middle of the ice looking towards the crowd— not looking, waving? He was waving towards the crowd. Shane couldn’t tell who he was even waving till the screen panned to a man dressed in regular people's clothes. A denim jacket and New York beanie. 

Shane was interrupted by Ilya leaving the spot he was standing and pushing open the door to where the seats were. No words were even spoken between them, Shane just followed quickly after. 

On the screen Shane could see what was happening, the announcer was saying something too but he couldn’t make out what it was over the roar of the crowd. And then the mystery man was hopping the boards and Scott Hunter was helping him onto the ice. 

“Ilya?” Shane asked, taking his eyes off the ice to look at him.

Ilya didn’t say anything, he didn’t even move, it was like he was frozen in his spot. 

And then it happened, Scott Hunter bent down and he was kissing him, they were standing in the middle of an ice rink, they had just won the Stanley Cup and all eyes were on them and Scott Hunter was kissing a man. He was kissing a man.  

“What the— Is he kissing—” Shane was cut off by Ilya grabbing him by the hand and dragging him back up the steps. 

“We’re leaving for the cottage.  Now.” Ilya pushed him against the wall in the suite and kissed him like it was his last day on earth and he needed Shane to survive. 

“If you keep kissing me like that we are not making it out of this suite room,” Shane moaned into the kiss. 

Ilya pulled away, “I know if you didn’t have your scent blockers on now, you’d smell so sweet for me.” 

Shane shivered at that statement, he knew it was true, that if they both didn’t have scent blockers on right now they would have the room smelling so sweet. He knows that when Ilya is around he starts smelling more, but the second he starts getting turned on, it gets amplified. 

“Hotel? Please?” Shane whined, he was being so needy, but he wanted Ilya now. 

“Let me text the cab,” Ilya spoke, pulling out his phone. He must've exchanged phone numbers with the driver before leaving the car, Shane assumed that’s what he was doing when he was talking to the driver earlier. “Will be here soon, lets start walking down,” 

Ilya grabbed Shane’s hand, leading him towards the exit, before opening up the door to leave, he pulled out his wallet and left a very generous tip on the table for the staff who would end up cleaning the room.The holding hands didn’t last very long, Shane knew it was because they weren’t in the comfort of privacy anymore. It was fine. Shane was fine. 

Ilya turned for a quick second, it was barely even a full turn, Shane tried to look normal. It didn’t seem to go over well, because now Ilya was staring at him with wide eyes. 

Shane was not fine.

Shane wanted to hold Ilya’s hand. In public. Very much in public. 

“Shane?” Ilya asked, stopping in his tracks. 

“My hand— you— you let go?” Shane spoke, but it came out more of a question than anything. And he could smell himself. He could smell himself. His blockers were wearing off. That shouldn’t be happening. 

“People can see, sweetheart. You know you didn’t want people to see,” Ilya tried to reason with him. 

Shane was sure Ilya didn’t realize what exactly was happening yet. It even took Shane a second to realize his omega was coming out, that the blockers suddenly stopped working. That Shane was needy and needed his Alpha. 

“Shane,” Ilya tried again. 

“Mhm?” Shane muttered out, it was all he could muster up in the moment. His head started getting fuzzy, Ilya’s smell was intoxicating. Did Ilya even realize how good he smelt? It hit Shane like a ton of bricks, all the other smells in the arena didn’t matter. He was hyper focused on the smell of bourbon and birch wood. It was always amplified when Ilya was turned on. 

Ilya’s face twisted, his pupils started to dilate, his eyes wandered as he looked Shane up and down. 

Shane whimpered nearly at that alone. 

“I can smell you,” Ilya let out a growl.

“Alpha— Please,” Shane pleaded with Ilya. 

With one swift motion, Shane could feel himself getting pulled out of the arena towards the exit. Ilya’s hand was on his, gripping and holding tightly. Shane could feel the area Ilya was holding burn. Well. Not literally. But he was burning with the feeling of wanting more. He wanted Ilya to touch him more. To push him up against the wall and kiss him with so much passion. 

He had to be good though, he was a good omega. He was Ilya’s good omega. Well behaved. His mind was racing with so many thoughts— too many thoughts. There was something about being in public with Ilya, being out in the open where anyone could see them— anyone could scent them out— that excited Shane. More than he liked to admit. 

The car was already waiting there when they stepped outside, Ilya ushered Shane towards the car first, getting in right after him. 

“Can you be good?” Ilya leaned over and whispered in Shane's ear once he got into the car. “The hotel is not far,” 

Shane nodded. 

He knew he needed to keep his hands to himself in the car, that the second the flood gates opened he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. As much as he wanted to, he knew he couldn’t. There was no way he would subject the driver to seeing that, he was just doing his job. 

Instead, he sat there, his hands underneath his thighs. It was ridiculous, he knew it. He knew for damn sure Ilya thought it was ridiculous, even if his face didn’t show it. 

“Shane. You are sitting on your hands?” Ilya chuckled, pointing at Shane’s hands underneath his thighs.

“Yes,” Shane squeaked out. He needed to die. He couldn’t even speak proper sentences right now. 

“Oh.” Ilya almost growled. Shane knew it was instinctive and that Ilya wasn’t trying to make whatever he has going on harder. Thought it did. Hearing Ilya like that, the possessiveness in his voice, made Shane want more. 

Instead he sat harder on his hands, pushing his thighs deeper into the seat, if he had gone any further his hands would probably go numb. Shane didn’t even look at Ilya, he couldn’t. The second eye contact was made Shane knew it would be over. He sat there staring at the black seat in front of him, trying to focus his mind on anything but what was really going on in his head. 

A 15 minute ride ended up feeling like a 2 hour long ride. Which absolutely sounded dramatic, but trying to focus on anything but your Alpha sitting right next to you and not being able to even touch him. Yeah. That was definitely something that made the time feel like it was moving slower. 

“Sweetheart, we are here,” Ilya spoke, gently coaxing Shane out of the car. 

Shane’s body was moving before his brain could even process what Ilya was saying, he was on autopilot. Ilya smelt stronger now, that was the first thing he noticed. His head whipped around, fast enough that he could’ve caused whiplash. There was no reason for Ilya to smell even stronger than he did a couple minutes ago. They did everything right, they had the blockers and the patches, so even if one of them failed, which clearly they did. There would be some protection against the smell being so strong. There wasn’t anymore. Shane could completely smell everything on Ilya, and it was loud.

“You—” Shane started, his speech coming off slurred, though he didn’t take one drink of anything tonight besides ginger ale. 

“Took the patch off,” Ilya smirked, grabbing Shane’s hand and leading him into the doors of the hotel. 

It was quiet, there weren't many people in the lobby, the only person Shane spotted was the lady standing behind the desk. She smiled softly at them, unphased by their close proximity and both of their smells. Which Shane knew there was no way she didn’t smell. 

Ilya dragged them into the elevator, the ding came fast, and the doors shut closed behind them. He wasted no time hurling Shane up against the wall, his hands fisted in his shirt, his lips pressing feverish kisses down his neck. Ones that will definitely leave a mark that you’ll be able to see tomorrow. 

Shane moaned, his head tipping back against the wall of the elevator. He hoped that no one needed to get on at this moment, or they’d be seeing him blissed out. 

“Ilya,” Shane whined, his voice sounding so needy. He wanted to be touched, to be thrown around. He loved when Ilya got more aggressive with him. 

The door clicked open, he hadn’t even heard the ding, but it snapped Shane out of the feeling he was having temporarily. Luckily there was no one there, the hall was empty, and Shane quickly looked up and they were at their floor. Shane was the one doing the dragging now, he pulled Ilya out of the elevator and into the hallway. 

What he did next was something they made sure never to do. Don’t touch or kiss in the hallways, where there are cameras. Shane always made sure to follow this rule, it’s why their relationship has been so well kept hidden for so long. But tonight, Shane— he didn’t care about what was happening in the hallway tonight. Ilya was being shoved against the door of their hotel room before he could even pull the key for the door out. Shane’s mouth found Ilya’s, kissing him in a way that if anyone saw it they would know it wasn’t just a silly friendly kiss. 

He could feel Ilya gasp into his mouth, his hands snaking around his waist to pull him in closer. Shane never did things like this, to take control of what he wanted. He usually just let Ilya give him what he felt like he deserved. But not tonight, Shane knew exactly what he wanted, and he was going to take it. 

“Mm, Shane. Shane. Let’s get inside— Shane.” Ilya spoke as Shane moved his attention from his lips to Ilya’s neck, kissing and biting. He was airing very closely to the spot where the bonding mark would go. They’ve talked about it before, Shane knew that Ilya wanted it, but they wanted to wait till they could both share their next heat and rut together. 

“Shane.” Ilya demanded this time, his Alpha voice slipping out slightly. 

That was enough to stop Shane almost immediately, the change in Ilya’s voice caused Shane to shutter. His eyes flickering shut. The last Shane was a demand, Shane knew that. There wasn’t a way to ignore that anymore. 

“Sorry,” Shane muttered out, burying his face in Ilya’s neck. 

Ilya reached into his pocket, putting out the key card, and turned his body just enough so he could tap it against the door. He pulled Shane into the hotel room, the door closing lightly behind them. Ilya used his other free hand to make sure the door was locked. 

Shane was starting to come down from his rush of adrenaline he was having, everything was coming crumbling down towards him. The embarrassment from the way he was acting. He was being needy, too needy. Panic started to form in his body, he needed to get away. There needed to be space between them, so Shane could control himself. Ilya stopped them. Ilya didn’t want him. Ilya used his Alpha voice to stop him. 

“Hey— stop. Shane?” Ilya spoke, as soon as he noticed Shane was trying to free himself from his grip. Fuck. 

“Maybe— maybe we should get separate rooms,” Shane gulped, he refused to make eye contact with Ilya. 

“Why would we need that?” Ilya asked. 

“ ‘m not gonna be able to control myself,” Shane answered honestly.

“Who said I want that?” Ilya questioned him, only tightening his grip on him so Shane couldn’t escape.

“I— You— Fuck. You told me to stop? You didn’t— You don’t want this,” Shane’s words came out messy, the words not completely making sense as he said them. 

“Lyubov’ moya,I ask you to stop because I would fuck you right in hallway,” Ilya’s hand kneaded the spot on Shane’s back that he held. 

“Oh,” Shane responded.

“You give yourself panic attack for no reason,” Ilya said, before pressing a kiss to Shane’s lips and pushing him down onto the bed. “We will fuck, yes?” Ilya asked. 

“Yes— yeah. I want you to fuck me,” Shane grabbed the back of Ilya’s neck and pulled him down into a kiss. 

Shane decided to be brave, when he dragged Ilya down he also flipped them over so he was on top. Both of his legs on either side of Ilya’s waist. 

“Ah, you want to be in charge tonight?” Ilya winked at him, he could feel the pressure from Ilya’s fingers digging into his hips. 

“I’m gonna ride the fuck out of you,” Shane purred into Ilya’s ear. 

Ilya growled. Shane could see his eyes completely dilated, they were almost fully black. 

In one swift motion, Shane felt his pants and underwear being pulled down and off his body. He lifted his hips up so Ilya could pull off his own too. Shane’s shirt was next, and it was being flung across the room and he didn’t waste any time making grabby hands at Ilya's shirt next. 

Ilya took this time to reach over to the night stand, he grabbed the packet of lube and condom that he had put there before they had left for the game. 

“No. Leave that. Don’t want it,” Shane whined, his hand grabbing the condom and putting it back on the table. 

“You want me to knot you?” Ilya asked, they always used a condom. The last time they didn’t use one was the first time Shane was in heat while they were together. It was just easier for cleanup, Ilya knew Shane hated feeling messy. 

“Please,” Shane whimpered, pressing his hips closer to Ilya’s. Their cocks were practically touching now. Shane was leaking already, he always got so wet when it came to Ilya. It was embarrassing at first, but Ilya loved it, which made Shane learn to love it. 

“Need to prep you before anything,” Ilya grabbed Shane’s hips, going to flip them over, before Shane stopped him. He shook his head, stopping Ilya before he could. 

“Already did— fuck. Before we left for the game,” Shane’s cheeks were bright red. 

Shane had snuck into the bathroom before they left for the game to prep himself, he knew he would be inpatient tonight and wanted to make sure he was ready for Ilya. 

Ilya pulled Shane into a feverish kiss, he slipped his tongue right into Shane’s mouth. “Such a good boy,” Ilya groaned. 

He could feel his slick dripping down his leg, it wasn’t so much like how it gets during heat, but it was enough to be leaving a mess. Shane reached backwards, lining up Ilya’s cock with his hole, he slowly pushed himself down. Stopping himself as he got past the tip, he could feel himself stretching around Ilya.

“You okay?” Ilya asked, careful not to move. That one another thing Shane loved about Ilya. He was so gentle with him, so careful with him. He asked Shane how he was every step of the way. 

“ ‘m okay— fuck— you’re just— oh god,” Shane could feel himself starting to get worked up, it felt so fucking good. Being able to feel Ilya against him with no barrier. He lowered himself more on Ilya’s length. This time he pushed himself all the way down. 

Once he got adjusted to the feeling, he carefully started moving his hips up and down. They collided softly with Ilya’s hips at first and then started picking up the pace. 

“Fuck, Shane” Ilya moaned out, his hands helping guide Shane up and down on his cock. 

“Ilya—ohmygod,” Shane moaned, using one of his hands on the headboard to keep himself up right. 

He felt Ilya thrusting upwards now, meeting his hips with every movement he made.  They both met each other's pace until Ilya took a handful of Shane’s ass and flipped him over. Shane’s back collided with the mattress and he could feel his cock leaking against his stomach. 

Shane tipped his head backwards letting out a throaty moan, his hands and fingers tangling deep in Ilya’s curls. He tugged on them, pulling Ilya closer to him and crashing their lips together in a kiss. 

“Ilya— Ilya. Fuck. Oh my god,” Shane thrusted his hips upward, meeting Ilya’s. He was going to come, he hadn’t even touched his cock and he was about to come untouched. 

He groaned, and one hand trailed down Ilya’s back, his finger nails scraping at the skin on his back. There would definitely be scratch marks forming down Ilya’s back tomorrow.

“You want to come, sweetheart?” Ilya asked, his eyes darting downward to look at Shane’s cock in between them. 

“Yeah— Ilya. Please. Can I come?” Shane whimpered, his eyes starting to become glossy. 

“Think you can come untouched?” Ilya smirked. 

Shane moaned at that, words not being able to come out anymore. He was so far gone, he could feel himself slipping into that fuzzy place he goes too sometimes. His head was buzzing, his body didn’t feel like it was his anymore. He couldn’t control what was happening next, a puddle of come covering his stomach and chest.  

He could feel Ilya let go inside of him, though this time there was no knot. That happened sometimes, Shane knew that, it wasn’t a horrible thing. It was probably better for him right now. He was so spaced out, his head wasn’t fully there anymore. 

“Sweetheart,” Ilya cooed, his fingers brushing Shane’s jaw line.

There was no response, Shane’s eyes were still shut, he barely even moved at Ilya’s voice.

“Can you open your eyes for me?” Ilya asked gently, he didn’t sound annoyed or angry. That was the first thing Shane noticed. He was soft and gentle, his scent even smelled more soothing. Shane’s eyes flickered open, there were tears welling up in his eyes, his cheeks were flushed a bright pink. “There are those pretty brown eyes,”

Shane let out a small sound, that was supposed to be a giggle but his voice cracked and it sounded more just like a sound trying to escape. 

“Sorry— was just a lot. My brains fuzzy,” Shane quietly spoke, he was taking his time saying each word so it came out correctly. This happened sometimes after sex, especially if Shane was feeling extra submissive. Ilya usually would just gently coax him back to reality, making sure he felt safe throughout.  

“I know. But you were so good. Moy khoroshiy malchik.” Ilya praised Shane. That was another thing when Shane got into these head spaces he needed. Reassurance. Praise. It all helped bring him back down to earth. 

“I made us all messy,” Shane sighed, their chests sticking together. 

“That’s okay. Let me clean you up? Da?” Ilya pulled himself out of Shane, he kissed him gently on the lips before getting up to the bathroom. He knew that leaving Shane alone in this state could be a dangerous game to play, but he knew he’d only be gone for a minute at most. Shane didn’t do well with being alone when his head wasn’t fully there. 

Shane saw Ilya walk out of the bathroom with a wet wash cloth, he knew Ilya didn’t mind taking care of him, that Ilya actually enjoyed it. He just wondered if one day Ilya would get tired of it, that Ilya would get tired of how needy Shane can be. Especially in times like this, when he needed more than usual. The tears started welling up in Shane’s eyes again, he could feel himself starting to fall deeper into the headspace he was. 

“Hey— hey. Shane. Look at me. Eyes open,” Ilya was back on the bed, the warm wash cloth was covering spots of Shane’s body. He could feel the stickiness starting to disappear as Ilya wiped away the leftover stains that covered Shane’s skin. 

“That’s warm,” Shane giggled, his words came out slurred, but not as bad as it was at first. 

“Da. You like warm things after, I take care of you.” Ilya responded, making sure to get the last bit of now drying come off Shane’s body. 

“You take good care of me,” Shane thought in his head. Ilya always took such good care of him, even if they weren’t doing something sex related Ilya always made sure Shane was taken care of. He made sure his ginger ale was cold enough, that he used the laundry detergent that Shane liked the smell of and didn’t overwhelm him. To be loved is to be seen.  

“I will always take care of you,” Ilya responded. Shane didn’t realize he said that out loud, but it didn’t seem to matter, Ilya wanted to take care of him. 

Shane could feel the fogginess from his brain starting to lift, his eyes started to get less glassy and he felt like he could think again. He sighed in relief, he was worried that there was going to be another incident like Vegas again. It took him hours to coax himself out of the dangerous headspace he was in. 

“Hi. Welcome back,” Ilya said, throwing the washcloth on the floor next to them, laying next to Shane, still facing him. 

“Hi. I didn’t realize I was feeling that submissive tonight,” Shane blushed, he turned his body so he could hide his face in Ilya’s neck. 

“Is okay. Am glad you came out of it quickly,” Ilya wrapped his arms around Shane’s bare body and pulled him in closer. Their legs tangled together, Ilya wrapping his foot around Shane’s lower calf. 

“It’s all you. It’s always you,” Shane pressed a kiss to Ilya’s neck, before snuggling his face deeper into him. He was taking his scent in, all of Ilya. It was safe. It was home. 

Both of them were quick to fall asleep, though Shane was the first to fall first. Ilya could feel his heart rate start to slow and his chest rising and falling softly. Shane’s body became more limp, more relaxed, though he kept himself tangled up in Ilya. When Shane heard the words, “Ya tebya lyublyu” he figured it was his dream, he didn’t even know what it meant. He just allowed himself to drift deeper into sleep. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

Shane had them fly to Montreal first, then he drove them to the cottage. That was the easiest way if you asked Shane. It was only a two hour drive to the cottage from where he lived so it wasn’t an intense ride. He had a delivery service set up to make sure the house was stocked so they wouldn’t have to leave much. They were going to be spending the whole summer together, originally it was supposed to be two weeks. Shane had asked Ilya to spend two weeks with him, but Ilya told him he wanted to spend the whole summer with him. Of course if that was okay with Shane, and that was very much okay with Shane. 

But that meant they’d need more food so they didn’t have to leave or be seen together. This summer was supposed to be about relaxing and just being able to spend time with each other. They also talked about something else, about sharing their heat and rut together. It was a long conversation and something they both spoke long and hard about. Shane was the one who brought it up, so that maybe while at the cottage this summer he could get off his suppressants so they could share it together. Though that is something Ilya would love, he can imagine Shane walking around full of his pups and being at home safe. They ended up coming to the conclusion that right now that’s not what they needed.

After a lot of conversation and breaking down the logistics of what that would mean for them as a couple, they decided that they didn’t want to risk Shane getting pregnant yet. Shane wasn’t ready to put the hockey skates on the shelf yet, he felt like his career was just getting started, and getting pregnant would end his career completely. They want to one day, Ilya made sure Shane knew that. And Shane did know that, he knew Ilya had good intentions here and was being the logical one. 

There was one other thing though they talked about, this one came easier and it wasn’t as hard of a discussion. Shane wanted them to be bonded, he already felt bonded and connected to Ilya, he already knew that he was Ilya’s. But he wanted it officially, he wanted them to bond mark each other. He wanted Ilya to claim him as his. They wore scent patches to work everyday, that was required, and the patches were skin colored so hiding the bond mark would be easy. And with all the scent patches and suppressants no one would be able to smell them on each other. 

Ilya had said yes without even hearing any part of the plan, instantly he knew exactly what he wanted. Shane Hollander would be claimed as his and that was it. There didn’t need to be any further discussion. (Though yes, they did discuss further, Ilya just didn’t think it was necessary.) 

It was their first day at the cottage, it was a quiet day, they both laid on the couch, holding each other, stealing a kiss occasionally. Shane had a ginger ale opened up on the table in front of them, Ilya had a coke. The TV was pressed on, though it was super low. They just had it on as background noise. Shane was snuggled into Ilya’s side, his face buried in his chest. The sun was setting and through the glass in the windows you could see the golden light reflecting on the walls. 

Shane looked up, his eyes meeting Ilya’s, his eyes looked even more blue in this lighting. The orange and pink from the sky reflected into Ilya’s golden blonde hair, showing how truly golden it already was. Ilya looked beautiful in this lighting. Shane couldn’t believe that Ilya Rozanov was here, at this cottage, while looking like this. Ilya could have anyone on the planet, the girls yearn for Ilya Rozanov, everyone sees it, but Ilya chose him. The other girls didn’t matter, because Ilya made his choice, and that was Shane Hollander. 

“What is going on in your head, Shane,” Ilya asked, a hand petting through Shane’s hair. 

“Just thinking about you being here,” Shane started, pressing a kiss to Ilya’s lips. “How lucky I am that you’re here,” Shane finished speaking, and Ilya’s lips were already on his. Nothing more needed to be said at that moment. Just the two of them sitting together with their bodies intertwined. 

The sun setting though meant it was time for them to eat dinner, it was rather late for dinner but the both of them just got lost in the moment. Shane was the first to get up, he didn’t get very far though without Ilya trailing behind him. “I just sit here and watch you cook, pretty boy cooking dinner,” Ilya winked, sitting at one of the chairs against the kitchen table. 

“What am I your housewife? Cooking and cleaning?” Shane joked back, leaning down to grab a pot from under the sink. He was keeping it easy tonight, he was just going to boil hot dogs in the pot. Usually he’d fire up the grill, but it was getting late and this was just easier. Less clean up in the end too, he’d just have to put the pot in the dishwasher along with the rest of the items they’d use.

“You’d make a pretty one,” Ilya teased back, blowing Shane a kiss from across the table.

“Ilya.” Shane whined, “You’re such an asshole,” Shane threw a paper towel ball at him. 

“I am asshole? While you are one throwing things at me?” Ilya got up and made his way to the other side of the kitchen counter. Right as Shane was throwing the hot dogs in the water, Ilya scooped Shane up, throwing him over his shoulder and giving a quick twirl. 

“Ilya!” Shane squealed as he was lifted into the air, his feet dangling down below. Ilya ran around the counter with Shane over his shoulder, Shane was a giggling and squealing mess by the end. When Ilya went to put him down, he didn’t put his feet down to the floor, but he flipped Shane around so he was sitting on the table top. Ilya inserted himself in between Shane’s thighs, and almost like it was instinct, Shane wrapped his legs around Ilya’s waist. 

“You have fun?” Ilya asked, his hands wrapping around Shane’s neck, his fingers tangling in the bottom of Shane’s hair. 

“I like having fun with you,” Shane’s face was a light pink, he had a slight blush spread across his face. 

“We have whole summer to have fun,” Ilya responded before kissing him. “How long do we have till the hot dogs are done?” Ilya asked. 

“Like 10 minutes,” Shane answered. 

“Well, I’m going to kiss you for 10 minutes then,” Ilya said before going and kissing Shane again.

And Shane’s heart just melted, he loved Ilya. His heart was so full of it, he couldn’t believe it. He loved Ilya Rozanov and he was pretty damn sure he loved him back. Shane was exactly where he wanted to be. 

They were in bed together that night when Shane felt the urge to say it. He was scared, it was only their first day at the cottage together, he didn’t want to say it and then ruin everything and cause Ilya to run or leave. But there was a burning sensation in the back of his head telling him to just do it, that everything has worked out in his favor in the past few months. Ilya wanted to bond him, Shane needed to remind himself. Why would he want to do that if he wasn’t in love with him?  He practiced for this moment, over and over again. Once he got up to that lesson on his phone he replayed it over and over again for weeks, he would say it in the mirror constantly. There was no way he’d mess it up, he knew what the words were, he just needed to say them.

“You are doing a thing,” Ilya said, looking up at Shane. He was up, his back resting against the headboard while Ilya laid on the bed, scrolling through his phone.

“What?” Shane asked, not sure what Ilya meant by he was doing a thing.

“Shane thing. When you think too much, get in your head,” Ilya pointed at his head. Shane knew that he was talking about being trapped inside his thoughts. “Tell me what you are thinking,” Ilya said.

He wishes it was that easy, he wishes that he could just say what he wanted to say, that his mind didn’t trick him into thinking this wasn’t real and it was never going to be real.

“I want this with you, for real. Us. A future,” Shane picked the easy way out, he could say things like that with no consequences. 

“Yes. Me too. We will figure it out,” Ilya responded. His voice was calm and steady, like he wasn’t worried about how they would even make it work, being so far and all.

“We’d have to change the narrative,” Shane said, and it was true, they were arch rivals. They were so careful with not being seen so far in public, but what if they wanted too? What if they wanted to go to the coffee shop to get coffee together, or the pizza place to grab a slice? The narrative would have to change, because two arch rivals being seen together would definitely cause people to talk.

“Narrative?” Ilya asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, like the story. You know how we’re rivals, we’d have to figure out a way to make it more acceptable being seen in public,” Shane answered Ilya’s question, he knew that Ilya just didn’t understand what that word meant. 

“Ah,” Ilya hummed in response.

They both sat there quietly for a couple minutes, neither of them looking at each other. Shane was the first one to speak again, “We could start a charity, something we both really believe in. I could say I came to you with this idea and we loved it,” 

“Or I could come to you,” Ilya retorts back. 

Shane rolls his eyes, “Ilya! I’m being serious. I’m serious about this, about us.” 

“Is that what you want?” Ilya asked, his eyes meeting Shane’s for the first time tonight.

“So much. It’s all I keep thinking about,” Shane confessed. 

Ilya moved to Shane’s side of the bed, he used his hands to push him up so he was hovering over Shane’s body. He peppered kisses along Shane’s neck, and up his jawline before placing one on his lips.

Shane broke away from the kiss, he just looked at Ilya and took a deep breath, there was no turning back now, “Ya tebya lyublyu.”

“What?” Ilya asked, his eyes making direct eye contact with Shane.

“I— I mean—” Shane started, he needed to back track, he needed to come up with an excuse. That he was trying to teach himself Russian and he thought that meant something else. Anything but what was happening at this moment. He screwed everything up, Ilya was going to leave and Shane was going to be alone again. 

“Ya tak sil'no tebya lyublyu,” Ilya repeated back to him. Shane could see the tears starting to well up in Ilya’s eyes. He lifted his hand to wipe a tear that was running down his cheek. 

“In Russian?” Ilya choked out, his words were shaky. “You learned Russian?” 

Shane nodded, tears started falling from his own eyes onto his cheeks. 

“Moy mal'chik. Ya lyublyu tebya. Bozhe.Ya lyublyu tebya” Ilya said in Russian, his hands cupping Shane’s cheeks, wiping the tears that fell. 

“I know you said you love me. I— I’m just having trouble translating the other stuff,” Shane let out a nervous laugh. Though he was pretty deep into his lessons, he still was having trouble translating on the app, and hearing Ilya speak Russian in his own native tongue, he couldn’t figure out what was said. 

“My boy. I called you my boy,” Ilya repeated in English, lowering his body so he was covering all of Shane.

Ilya laid there, his whole weight on top of Shane, his head nuzzled into Shane’s neck. Shane usually was the one who wanted to be held, but he knew that Ilya was feeling a lot of things. It was like Shane had his own personal weighted blanket and he loved it. He got to hold Ilya and feel safe at the same time. There wasn’t anything more he could’ve asked for. Shane loved Ilya, and Ilya loved him back. 

“I want you to bond me,” Shane whispered into Ilya’s hair.

“Tomorrow. I am tired. I want to give you my full attention,” Ilya responded with a yawn. Shane could deal with that answer, as that was something that would be a defining moment of their relationship. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

Shane’s eyes were still closed, he was awake but wasn’t ready to be fully present yet. He could feel Ilya staring at him without even opening his eyes. The room was bright, they hadn’t closed the shades when they fell asleep the night prior. Hues of pink and purple filled the room as Shane opened his eyes. It must’ve been early enough that the sun was still rising. 

“Hi,” Ilya said softly, burying his face in Shane’s neck. Shane still smelt like him, Ilya had just marked him the night prior but still he was scenting him again. “You smell pretty,” Ilya smiled into Shane’s neck. He couldn’t see it, but he could feel the stretch of his lips on his skin. 

“I smell like you,” Shane chuckled. It was true, the room smelt like a mixture of huskiness and sweetness, both Shane and Ilya’s scents combining. Ilya’s scent was stronger than Shane’s but you could sense the faint smell of sweetness in the air.

“That is why you smell good.” Ilya lifted his head to press a kiss to Shane’s lips. 

Shane felt giddy, he had this feeling bubbling up inside of him, it was happiness. Shane Hollander was happy, truly happy. He could feel himself bursting at the seams. Ilya wanted to bond him, he wanted this as much as Shane did. He felt like he was dreaming, that this wasn’t real life, even though he knew it was. He was laid next to Ilya in his bed, at his cottage, a place Shane hoped one day he would call their home together. A conversation needed to be had, they needed to talk about the logistics of bonding with each other. What would it mean for their careers, for hockey and all?

Emotions had been high last night, it could’ve been Ilya was saying it in the heat of the moment but didn’t truly mean the words he was saying. Maybe with a fresh mind Ilya wouldn’t want to bond with Shane anymore.

Shane shifted slightly, it wasn’t enough that he was trying to break out of Ilya’s hold, but it was enough to make Ilya’s grip on him tighter. Shane sighed, accepting defeat, this was a game he knew he wouldn’t win, there was no reason for him to even try. He moved his head over to Ilya’s chest and laid his head smack in the middle of it. His hands that were laying there with him now were the motive of trying to keep his anxiety in check. He started picking at the skin of his nails, using the tip of his nail to dig into the skin of the cuticle. It hurt, it always did whenever Shane did his, but if he rewired his brain from his thoughts he could get himself out of this headspace.

Most of the time he would do this till his fingers were bleeding, not always because he wanted to do that, but sometimes because he couldn’t stop himself from letting it get that far. It became a dangerous game, especially when it was during the season and his anxiety about being good were at an all time high. That’s why he always carried bandaids with him, or had band aids on his fingers. 

“Hey. What’s going on?” Ilya spoke, his larger hand covering Shane’s, his fingers pressing down on where Shane’s were to stop them from being able to move.

Shane didn’t answer. He didn’t even look up to meet Ilya’s eyes, he just laid there, he was too embarrassed to admit what was happening. He didn’t want to face Ilya yet, so he laid there in silence hoping that Ilya would drop it. He knew Ilya wouldn’t. But a boy can dream, right?

“Sweetheart,” Ilya tried again. The pet name always made Shane fold easily, he knew Ilya knew that and most definitely used it on purpose. 

“Sorry— I’m sorry. I ruin everything,” Shane’s voice was shaky, he could feel himself holding back tears. He didn’t want to cry, he hated being perceived as a cry baby, that he was less of anything because of his omega instincts. 

“Malysh, you didn’t ruin anything. We will talk about what’s bothering you, yes?” Ilya’s hands were still covering Shane’s. “You are hurting yourself? That is why you always have band aids?” 

Shane’s eyes shot up this time, he looked at Ilya, he didn’t care that his eyes were still glassy from the tears threatening to spill out. The first thing Shane noticed was how soft Ilya’s eyes were. He didn’t look angry, or embarrassed of Shane, but he looked sad— concerned. Ilya’s hazel eyes were beaming in the sunlight of the room, they looked more green than usual in this lighting. 

“You noticed that?” Shane mumbled out, he never realized people might have realized he was wearing bandaids all the time, no one else ever questioned him about it. 

“Da. I look at nice hands. What can I say?” Ilya smiled while saying that with the most serious face.

Shane let out a small chuckle, he knew exactly what Ilya was doing, and it was working. Ilya knew the way to his heart and his mind so well. They were two puzzle pieces that needed to be put together and once they found the right spot, they fit perfectly. 

“I do it when I get anxious, to distract myself,” Shane confessed, he’s actually never told anyone about this, not even his parents. 

“You won't hurt yourself anymore? Ever again, you hear me?” Ilya’s voice was on the cusp of using his Alpha voice, Shane could hear it slipping out faintly.

“Ilya,” Shane whined.

“Shane.” Ilya fought back at him.

There was a long pause for a moment, Shane looked away from Ilya briefly. Ilya growled, that was a noise that Shane didn’t hear Ilya do often, but whenever he did Shane knew he needed to take Ilya seriously. 

“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you,” Ilya barked out at him, it wasn’t aggressive though, it was soft, but still commanding. Shane knew Ilya wasn’t being mean, it wasn’t like he was asking Shane to jump off a bridge or anything. He just wanted Shane not to hurt himself anymore. 

“It’s just hard,” Shane confessed. He struggled with anxiety his whole life, he knew that he was different, that his brain worked differently. It wasn’t like he could tell his parents growing up either, he had to be perfect, or as perfect as he could be for being an omega. It was up to him to manage all these feelings himself, and it was hard. Wanting to be the perfect hockey player while struggling with these feelings that made him feel less normal. Pain seemed to be the only option, or at least the only one that worked. 

“We will figure something else out. You can’t keep hurting yourself, Shane,” Ilya responded. He let go of Shane’s wrist, but not before moving it so Shane’s hand was resting on Ilya’s face. 

“Okay,” Shane sighed, taking a deep breath in, his anxiety was still high, he still didn’t get his answer if Ilya wanted to bond with him still and his brain was screaming at him that Ilya didn’t want it. 

“Why are you so shaken up, malysh,” Ilya asked. That was the one question Shane didn’t want Ilya to ask him, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide how he was feeling or why he felt that way. 

He sucked in a deep breath, trying to be brave, but the words weren't coming out, he was still frozen, the words getting choked up inside his throat. He could feel his mouth getting dry, his hands starting to get shaky. His eyes met Ilya’s for a split second, before turning away from his gaze. 

“Shane. You’re doing it again,” Ilya sighed, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

There wasn’t anything said at first, they both just sat there, Ilya’s words echoing throughout the silent room.

“I’m not doing anything,” Shane huffed out, he hated that Ilya could read him so easily.

“Then tell me why you’re so upset. We love each other. Why are you sad?” Ilya asked, he sounded so sad. Shane hadn’t realized that his reactions could be hurting Ilya as well. 

“What if you don't want this forever? You might’ve not meant it.” Shane whispered. It was barely audible, Shane could barely hear the words coming out of his mouth. 

“Is that why you’re this upset? You think I don’t want you forever?” Ilya asked, there was a crack in his voice on the last word. He could tell Ilya was trying to keep it together for Shane, but the sadness was clear from Ilya’s eyes. 

Shane nodded. It was so silly, Ilya had never said he didn’t want to bond with Shane or didn’t mean it, he was just believing the thoughts his mind was feeding him.

“It was late Shane, I wanted to do it when I could really appreciate you,” Ilya gently pushed Shane off his chest so he was flat on his back and positioned himself so he was over Shane. He lowered his head and pressed a kiss to Shane’s lips.

“You want this?” Shane asked again, mumbling against Ilya’s lips this time. Ilya was still kissing him. 

“Navsegda, I’ll bond you right now. We do not need to do anything special. Just me and you.” Ilya responded back to Shane.

“Forever?” Shane asked. He knew what the word meant from the Russian lessons he was teaching himself. 

Ilya didn’t reply, he just kissed Shane again. It wasn’t a fast kiss, this was one that lingered, that would keep Shane on his toes. But it wasn’t in a sexual way, like Ilya was trying to get Shane naked, (even though Shane was very much already naked from the night before,) it was in a way that felt like Ilya wanted to taste him. Shane could feel that Ilya was craving the intimacy in that moment too. 

“How are we going to hide the bond marks?” Shane asked, he wasn’t concerned about the scents, with the suppressants and the patches it would be extremely unlikely for anyone to realize he smelt like Ilya. He did worry about people seeing the bond mark, they wouldn’t know who gave him it, but it could be extremely suspicious that both of them were walking into next season with marks. All it would take is one person being smart enough to put the pieces together and outing them. 

“You wear scent patch, yes?” Ilya spoke.

Shane knew that Ilya knew the answer to that question, it wasn’t really a question that Ilya was looking for a real answer for. 

“Obviously,” Shane answered, rolling his eyes, if Ilya could be bratty, Shane could play that game too. 

“Scent patch is color of your skin, no one sees underneath it. Mark will be there.” Ilya responded, a lot quicker than Shane expected. He thought there would be some hesitation in where it would be, that Ilya would need to think more about how this would work for them. It was almost like Ilya already had been thinking about this, and this was a plan he formulated inside his head already. 

“Oh,” Shane breathed, he didn’t think about that, or that was an option. “You’ve thought about this before?” Shane then asked, he wanted to confirm his suspicions that this was something Ilya had already been thinking about. 

“Of course, I want this with you, Shane,” Ilya reassured Shane again. 

Without thinking twice, Ilya was nudging the side of Shane’s neck, His nose rubbed against his scent gland first, he peppered a few small kisses around the area, leaving the spot where he would place his mark untouched. He kissed the spot right next to Shane’s scent gland, Shane could feel his heart rate starting to pick up. 

“I love you Shane,” Ilya mumbled into his neck, as he kissed in the same spot repeatedly. 

“I love you Ilya,” Shane responded back, he could feel his heart flutter as he said it. He still wasn’t used to being able to say that out in the open. 

Ilya pressed a kiss directly on Shane’s scent gland, his lips stayed attached there for longer than any of the other kisses. He pulled away from his neck to make eye contact with Shane, both of their eyes completely dilated. Another kiss was pressed to Shane’s lips before Ilya leaned back down and attached his teeth directly onto Shane’s scent gland. As he bit down further he could taste Shane’s blood entering his mouth. He tasted sweet, a mix between candy and honey. 

A quiet moan escaped Shane’s lips, his head was thrown back against the pillow, Ilya could feel his own cock getting hard just from this alone. He unattached his teeth from Shane’s neck, his tongue lapping over the freshly made mark, gathering any of the blood that was left over on Shane’s skin. 

“Okay, my turn,” Ilya grabbed Shane’s waist, flipping them over so Shane was on top of them again. He tilted his head to the side so Shane had better access to his scent gland.

“You want me to bite you too?” Shane asked. It was common for Alphas to bite their Omegas, but it wasn’t always common for them to be bit back. It depended on the Alpha, some of them didn’t want to feel like they were “owned” by an Omega.

“Shane.” That was all Ilya needed to say, Shane got his answer. 

He repeated what Ilya did on his neck, peppering it with kisses before placing one kiss directly over his scent gland. He attached his lips down on Ilya’s neck, his teeth breaking the surface of the skin. The rush he felt when his teeth buried themselves into Ilya’s neck, that Ilya was now his and he was Ilya’s. Ilya tasted almost exactly as he smelt— expensive bourbon you’d find at a rich man's party. Shane didn’t even like the taste of bourbon, but this, he felt drunk on this. A feeling he has not quite ever felt before. His cock was already hard prior to this, he felt it the second Ilya bit into his neck. This was just furthering it, he wanted to feel Ilya all over him. 

Shane pulled away, his teeth releasing Ilya’s neck from his grip. He followed exactly what Ilya had done, making sure to clean the blood stains from the mark. Shane wanted to make sure he got every last taste of this, since this would be the only time he’d be able to. 

“I want you to fuck me,” Shane slurred out. He knew that just because Ilya tasted like bourbon he wouldn’t get drunk on it, he just felt so love drunk. Ilya made him feel like that.

Ilya flipped them again so Shane was on the bottom, “I already planned on that sweetheart. Let me take care of you, my Omega,” 

Shane nearly lost it at those words, if didn’t have years of practice of being able to control himself he would’ve nearly come at those words. But Shane was trying so hard to be good, he wanted to make sure he could give Ilya what he wanted, himself. 

“Malysh, are you okay?” Ilya asked, furrowing his eyebrows. Shane figured he must’ve saw how twisted up his face had gotten.

“Uh huh,” Shane responded, it came out more as a squeak rather than words. He closed his eyes for a quick moment, and then opened them, blinking rapidly. Then squeezed his eyes shut again. He was hoping to stop himself from coming merely at Ilya’s touch. 

“I will touch you here?” Ilya smirked, his hand brushing past Shane’s already leaking cock.

Shanw let out a gasp— a breathy moan. If Ilya touched him any further than that he wouldn’t be able to control himself. 

“Ilya— baby, I’m not going to last if you touch me,” Shane whispered. He didn’t use pet names for Ilya all the time, but when he got into these headspace’s or felt extra soft sometimes they slipped out. He also loved to make sure Ilya felt as praised and cared for as he did. 

Shane could see the look on Ilya’s face change once he said the word baby. He was going to lose this game, he was always going to lose. 

“Good thing you will come more than once today then, yes?” Ilya stated, his hand now touching Shane’s cock, his hand pressing softly on his leaking slit. 

“Ilya,” Shane whined, his hips bucking up to the slight touch Ilya was giving him. He was going to be a wreck at the end of all this. The last time they did something like this, Ilya made Shane come three times before he was deep in subspace. It took their aftercare hours longer than it usually did, Shane laid there cuddled into his chest for an hour before he could even talk. Once he was able to talk though he made sure Ilya knew he enjoyed every second of it. He just felt floaty. 

“You will come four times today, yes? One more time than last time,” Ilya smirked, his full hand now around Shane’s cock. “Do you want to come like this first?”

Shane gasped at the contact, he sucked a breath in and held it for a second before breathing out to respond to Ilya’s question. “I don’t really think I have a choice,” 

Ilya chuckled, “Go ahead and come sweetheart. You’ve been good, you deserve it,” 

That was enough to send Shane over the edge, Ilya hadn’t even moved his hand from where it already was and Shane was coming all over his stomach. Painting it with sloppy streaks of white, Ilya’s hand being covered with splotches of white as well. 

“I’m so proud of you. You listen so well,” Ilya praised Shane before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. He also brought his hand to his lips, slowly licking all the come off his fingers and hand.

“You’re being a menace,” Shane groaned, rolling his eyes at Ilya. “Are you going to fuck me?” 

“If that’s what you want, then yes, I will fuck you,” Ilya responded back. “Get on your stomach, let me grab the lube so I can prep you,” 

Shane followed Ilya’s orders, flipping himself over so he was flat on his stomach, while doing that he must’ve strained his neck in a way he hadn’t before and he felt the pulse in his need speeding up. Pain radiated from the bite mark, it wasn’t unbearable pain, but it was enough that a slight yelp came from his lips. His hand reached up to the bite mark, he could feel his heart beat when his finger tips brushed the mark. When he removed his hand there was crimson red on his finger tips. 

“Does it hurt? Did I bite too hard?” Ilya’s voice was full of concern. Shane hadn’t noticed he had turned back around from grabbing the lube and had noticed the motions he had been doing. 

“It’s just sore Ilya, I’m okay,” Shane replied. He was telling the truth, yes, there was slight pain but he knew that was to be expected. It was more just soreness from Ilya biting down on Shane’s neck. He would rather feel slight discomfort for a few days if that meant being bonded for life with Ilya. 

“Let me make you feel better,” Ilya kissed down Shane’s spine. He had clusters of freckles down his back, and Ilya made sure he kissed every single one of them. Shane could feel the cold metal of Ilya’s cross necklace on his back, dragging against his skin as Ilya kissed down towards his ass. 

Shane could feel himself getting hard against the mattress, he needed Ilya to do something. The friction between his chest and the bed was unbearable. Usually it’s not this fast, he’s better at controlling himself, but with the mix of both of their scents in the air and feeling the pulsating bite on his neck. His cock didn’t take much to get hard again. 

He could feel Ilya pressing his finger against his hole, it wasn’t enough though, he wanted more. There was a wet spot forming on the sheets beneath him, he needed to make sure to remind himself to change the sheets after this. Dirty sheets were not his thing, he very much preferred a clean space to sleep in. He was shocked out of his thoughts when Ilya pressed his finger fully into him. 

“You’re so wet for me already baby, look at your hole just sucking up my finger,” Ilya pressed a kiss on his lower back while he worked his finger in and out of Shane.

“Ilya,” Shane whined, his body pushing backwards, trying to feel anything deeper.

Shane could feel another finger added, this time Ilya moved both of the fingers slowly, Ilya did this when he really wanted to work Shane open. He could feel himself getting hot, he was getting that feeling in his stomach that he knew he wouldn’t be able to control.

“If you don’t stop I’m gonna come,” Shane announced. He wasn’t even embarrassed that Ilya had barely done anything and his body was already ready to come for a second time. Ilya knew exactly what he was doing and exactly how to push Shane in the right ways to get him to this point. Shane was drunk on it.

Ilya pulled both of his fingers out, now using his free hand to flip Shane over onto his back. Shane’s hard cock was laying flat against his stomach now, leaking at the tip. The wet spot on the sheets were now flush against Shane’s back. He didn’t have much time to think about it though because Ilya was pouring lube onto his cock, and rubbing the leftover on to Shane’s hole. Lube and slick were being mixed together— a perfect combination.  

Ilya’s dick was pressed against Shane’s entrance, nudging at it. Ilya slowly worked his way in, not wanting to hurt Shane by forcing it in too fast. They should’ve prepped more, they usually do, but Shane wanted Ilya, he didn’t want to wait. He knows Ilya would never hurt him and would always take care of him, that if he needed to work himself slowly into Shane he would.

“You okay?” Ilya asked, leaning down and resting his forehead against Shane’s.

“Perfect,” Shane said, using both of his hands to pull Ilya’s face down into a kiss. He could feel Ilya push into him completely, but Ilya didn’t move, he just stayed there in place, letting Shane get comfortable with the feeling before pushing any further. “Ilya. Move. Please,” 

The words came out more as a squeak since their lips were still attached to each other, but Shane was pretty sure Ilya got the memo when he started thrusting into him. His thrusts were tactile, first starting out slower, then picking up the pass, then slowing down again. Shane could feel himself slipping away into his head, that fuzzy place he goes too after he’s feeling extra submissive. And with the binding happening, he definitely was feeling extra submissive.

“You’re always so tight for me, sweetheart. No matter how many times I fuck you,” Ilya growled. 

Shane purred, he threw his head back against the pillow and purred. “Ilya,” Shane moaned, his vision started getting foggy, his hands had moved away from Ilya’s face and now were gripping the sheets below him. 

“You can come sweetheart, but I’m fucking you until I come,” Ilya responded. He always knew what Shane was feeling or thinking before he could even say it. He was safe with Ilya. He didn’t need to worry about anything, especially not when Ilya was taking care of him.

“Ilya— fuck. Ohmygod. Baby,” Shane moaned and he felt his ass clench around Ilya’s cock. 

“Ah, you feel so good. You’re taking it so well, solnyshko,” Ilya praised as he fucked Shane deeper into the mattress. Sunshine. Shane noticed what Ilya said instantly. If Shane was sunshine, then Ilya was the moon and all the stars in the universe interconnected them together. 

And then Shane was coming, for the second time today. This time completely untouched, Shane hadn’t given his cock any attention this time around. He was hyper focused on Ilya pounding him into the mattress and now, Ilya comparing him to the sun and Ilya being the moon. Who knew metaphors could be so sexy.

Ilya came shortly after Shane, he was never too far behind, Shane knew that Ilya loved to see him come undone. They laid there in silence for a while, neither of them moving or speaking, Ilya had laid down completely flat on Shane, his body weight pressing up against him. He still hadn’t pulled out, his now mostly soft cock still keeping its place inside of Shane.

The sun was fully risen now, it was a golden overcast of the room now as the sun shined in the sky. Their bodies were stuck together, the smell of sweat now filling the room. Ilya was the first to talk of the two of them, softly stroking Shane’s cheek as he coaxed Shane to open his eyes.

“How are you feeling?” Ilya started with a simple question, one that Shane didn’t need to exert much to answer.

Shane’s eyes fluttered open, his pupils still dilated, there were red splotches covering his cheeks, he came so hard the second time around he didn’t realize he was crying. Ilya was right above him, his face inches away from Shane’s, he could see Ilya’s eyebrows furrowing. 

“‘M okay,” Shane slurred out, his voice still not completely there yet. “Brains just really fuzzy still. Sorry,” 

Ilya rubbed his fingertips against Shane’s cheek and traced them down his jawline leading all the way to where the mark was bitten on the side of his neck. Ilya’s fingers lingered there for longer than they had anywhere else. 

“You’re feeling spacey still?” Ilya asked. 

“Yeah— yeah. Just felt really good. Came really fast,” Shane nuzzled his face into Ilya’s arm that was propped next to his head. He was trying to smell Ilya to help ground him, sometimes that helped when he got like this. 

“I know, you came twice pretty fast. I didn’t hurt you did I?” Ilya asked. 

Shane made a grumbling sound at that question, it almost sounded like a growl, it wasn’t common for omegas to growl but it could happen. 

“You just growled?” Ilya asked, assumed by Shane’s reaction.

“Why would you say that? That you hurt me?” Shane’s voice was softer, he was upset that Ilya would even ask something like that. Ilya would never hurt him, he would never hurt a fly. “You never hurt me, only ever make me feel good.” 

Ilya chuckled, only Shane would get upset that he asked if he hurt him and in return growl at him. “So you growled at me?”

Shane nodded, and giggled. He could feel that cloud of fogginess starting to lift, he wasn’t completely there yet but enough to grasp more what was happening. He felt Ilya starting to move and pull out of him now, he must’ve picked up on that Shane was starting to come out of it. 

“You want me to clean up?” Ilya asked, making sure Shane was okay with Ilya getting up. He was met with Shane shaking his head. 

“Can we stay in bed a little longer?” Shane asked, cuddling up to Ilya’s side. 

“Only for another 5 minutes, if we wait any longer you will get upset with how gross you are,” Ilya pressed a kiss to Shane’s forehead. He was right, if Shane kept on delaying it, he absolutely would regret it. “You are back to me?” Ilya questioned, running his fingers through Shane’s hair. 

“For the most part, I don’t know if I have any more in me though,” Shane chuckled. 

“Ah. Hollander. You promised me 4, we will get 4. You will be a good boy?” Ilya responded back to him. 

“I’m always good,” Shane groaned, hitting Ilya’s chest. 

“You will give me four then. Let me go get your special wash cloth to clean you up,” Ilya kissed him, before moving to get out of the bed and make his way to the bathroom. 

Shane was sitting up in the bed when Ilya got back, his back against the headboard, the covers were pushed to the side of the bed. Ilya moved Shane in a position that he was able to clean up the mess from coming inside of him, Shane always got cranky if it started to dry up and got crusty. He wiped him down on his stomach too, from where Shane’s dick had leaked onto his stomach and come had started to dry on him. 

“Do you want to shower?” Ilya asked.

“No. It makes no sense since there's still two times left, right?” Shane winked. 

He was getting up now, he grabbed a new pair of boxers from the dresser in the corner of the room and one of Ilya’s Boston shirts. Ilya was in the bathroom again, disposing of the washcloth he was using and cleaning himself off. He found Shane in the kitchen, he was crouched down next to the stove grabbing a pan from the cabinet. 

“You cooking breakfast?” Ilya asked, wrapping his arms around Shane from behind.

“Eggs. For you. I’m going to have one of my smoothies I think,” Shane leaned into the touch. 

“I’ll make your smoothie for you,” Ilya kissed the spot behind his ear before letting go of Shane’s waist. 

Shane smiled as he placed the pan on the stove, he knows he can be annoying and particular with the food he likes to eat but Ilya never made him feel about it, in fact he always did the opposite. Ilya was always willing to learn new things and make adjustments so Shane didn’t feel like he couldn’t eat. Though Shane never made Ilya conform to his eating habits, Ilya always went out of his way to make sure he got exactly what he needed. If that meant picking up extra fruit or ingredients so Shane could have a meal he truly wanted, Ilya would do it no problem. 

To love is to be seen. 

The blender was already out on the table, Shane was going to make his smoothie after he finished Ilya’s eggs, before Ilya had offered to make them for Shane. The ingredients were lined up perfectly in the fridge, exactly how Shane wanted them to be. He would swap out where they needed to be every night before bed so they were perfect for each morning. It was a different flavor smoothie most mornings, there was a method to his madness, he wanted to make sure he kept a variety in it. 

Today was blueberry banana oatmeal smoothie day, the soy milk, bananas and blueberries were all lined at the front of the fridge. The oats, vanilla extract and sugar were on the table top, Shane had lined them up the night prior. That made Ilya’s job 10 times easier— he would’ve done it anyways even if it wasn’t like that. 

Shane was already pouring the egg mixture into the pan, he was then adding the cut up pieces of cheese— Ilya always liked his omelets with extra cheese. He didn’t forget the extra protein either, there was cut up ham for extra taste and extra protein in there too. Sometimes Ilya liked some extra greens in there as well but Shane kept it simple today. Ham, cheese and eggs. 

The blender started turning, Shane could hear the noise without even looking over. It wasn’t super loud, he had gotten one of those fancy ninja bullet blenders, it's supposed to make your smoothies smoother and not be as loud as a regular one. The loudness fact was true, Shane couldn’t tell if his smoothies blended better, honestly he didn’t really seem to see a difference. But it got the job done the way it needed too. 

Shane had finished the eggs and plated them both— he made two rounds for Ilya, he’s a hockey player and a big boy. One omelet would not be enough to keep Ilya fed. He didn’t need anyone to think he was starving his boyfriend and depriving him from eating what he needed. Ilya was pushing the purple smoothie in Shane’s direction, he had already plucked Shane’s favorite straw from the dishwasher. He took a sip before officially giving it to Shane. 

“Tastes just how you like it,” Ilya smiled, starting to clean up the mess on the kitchen counter. Shane stopped him though, putting his arm out so Ilya couldn’t reach anything anymore. 

“Stop. I’ll take care of it. Go sit and eat,” Shane pointed over to the plate that was sitting in front of the chair on the other side of the counter. 

“You are such a housewife,” Ilya teased, pressing a quick kiss to Shane's lips before sitting at the table. 

“I’ll throw it in the trash,” Shane glared at Ilya across the table.

“You would not,” Ilya smirked, before using his fork and knife to take a bite. 

They both sat there in silence, it wasn’t bad silence, but that kind of silence you have when you don’t need to say anything but you just appreciate that person's presence in your space. Shane was grinning ear to ear, he could feel how hard he was smiling, he liked this, the peacefulness with Ilya. The early mornings of them just spending time with each other, if this is what forever looked like he would be okay with it. But they would have to go back to hockey after the summer ended and they’d be forced back into the reality of making it work while they both played. 

But they’d make it work, Shane wasn’t worried, maybe he was at first, but they loved each other, Ilya was going to move closer and switch teams and that’s a huge sacrifice to ask him to do. So Shane was happy, he was okay spending his morning in the company of his beautiful boyfriend. 

Ilya finished his eggs, standing up and putting his dish in the sink, even though they had a dish washer at the cottage, the rules were everything gets cleaned off in the sink first and then can be placed in the dish washer. That prevented any food being trapped and causing mold or things to start smelling bad, it was a pretty solid system. 

“You look so good with my mark,” Ilya whispered, his voice deeper than usual, his eyes slightly dilated. 

“You eating eggs I made you turned you on?” Shane laughed, leave it to Ilya to sexualize anything.

“No, you being housewifey. Ah what is the word?” Ilya asked, his english was escaping him in this moment.

“Do you mean domestic?” Shane replied, not sure if that was what Ilya meant but it was worth an honest try.

“Da. You being good housewife, domestic. That turns me on,” Ilya smirked, striding over into Shane’s space. He was being crowded against the counter, his back pressed up against the table. 

“Ilya. I am not a house wife,” Shane rolled his eyes. 

“You don’t like being my house wife?” Ilya pouted.

That shut Shane up, all he wanted to do was please Ilya, if that meant going along with this roleplay fantasy Ilya was trying to lean into, he’d deal with it and do it. 

“Can I suck your dick?” Shane asked. He was already on his knees before Ilya could even answer.

“Did not even give you answer and you’re already on your knees,” Ilya chuckled, as Shane pulled down his pants. Ilya’s cock sprung free and was already hard against his stomach. 

Shane looked up at Ilya through his top lashes, his hand cradling and massaging one of his balls, that earned a moan from Ilya.

“Can you fuck my face?” Shane asked, still looking up at Ilya with serious bottom eyes. 

Who was Ilya to ever deny Shane of something like that? What kind of man would ever deny someone as pretty as Shane what they wanted, especially when they are asking so nicely. 

“You remember the signals? You tap my leg twice if you need me to stop,” Ilya spoke. 

Shane nodded, “I remember.” 

Ilya grabbed the back of Shane’s head pushing him closer, Shane’s mouth was already open and waiting. There was nothing gentle about what Ilya did next, he slammed his cock into Shane’s throat, hitting the back of it. Shane just looked up at Ilya, his eyes glistening, his eyelashes starting to get tear droplets on them. This was exactly what he wanted— getting his throat ruined. 

He reached down and started touching his own cock through his underwear, it was very slight movements but it was enough to get him to the point where he knew if Ilya kept going he would come. Ilya didn’t stay in his throat for long though. He was pulling out and grabbing Shane to get back onto his feet.

“I will not come before I get to fuck you again,” Ilya responded before kissing Shane roughly, his cock was throbbing and there was a wet spot forming on his underwear. Ilya tapped his leg while kissing him, which was him signaling to Shane to pull them down. Shane did the best he could without breaking the kiss. He felt himself being lifted up and hoisted onto the kitchen counter. Ilya stepped between his legs, and Shane wrapped both his legs around Ilya’s back, pulling him even closer than he already was. 

Ilya’s hand cupped Shane’s balls, he applied slight pressure on them, squeezing them lightly. That earned a squeak out of Shane. Ilya took the opportunity to slip his tongue into Shane’s mouth, his tongue running over Shane’s bottom lip, before gently tugging on it with his teeth. 

Shane’s hips rocked against Ilya’s, he was looking for any kind of friction against his cock. Ilya pulled at the hair towards the nape of his neck, his fingers tangling in the hair. 

“Ilya. Please.” Shane begged, he needed Ilya to touch him, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to come untouched again.

“You want me to touch you?” Ilya said, his hand going in between them, stroking his hand up and down Shane’s leaking cock. 

Ilya didn’t stop kissing him though, he kissed Shane roughly, using his other hand to pull Shane closer. There was a faint ringing behind them, Ilya paid no mind to it at first. Though Shane came again rather quickly, it left the room quiet for a second which then Ilya heard the ringing again. 

“What is that?” Ilya asked, hoping Shane would have an answer for it, but he was already gone enough that the only thing he could register was the sound of Ilya’s voice. 

He realized it must’ve been one of their phones, he didn’t remember who brought their phone into the kitchen, or who even might’ve left it in the kitchen overnight, but it just kept ringing. And Ilya didn’t care about who was calling right now, he wanted to fuck his mate, he wanted to further mark him. The phone ringing was the least of his concern. Ilya tried to ignore it, he laid Shane down on the counter, it was just low enough that Ilya could pull him to the edge and fuck him right there. 

Shane was already pretty loose from when they fucked earlier, so Ilya knew he didn’t need to prep him, that Ilya would be able to slide right in. They both liked it that way, if Shane could be like that at all times he wouldn’t be opposed to it. Ilya leaned down and kissed Shane before pressing into him again. A breathy moan escaped Shane’s lips, he leaned more into the kiss, pulling Ilya down closer to him. Ilya was fucking him slow this time, he knew Shane had already came three times. He didn't want to fully overstimulate him, he needed it to be enjoyable for Shane as well, not just him

The sound in the background kept going, Ilya thought he tuned it out but it kept on ringing, and this time it was over and over again. There were no breaks in between calls, the ringing would stop for maybe five seconds and then pick back up again. Whoever was trying to get in touch with them wasn’t taking a hint that they were busy, and Ilya’s patience was running thin. 

He snatched the phone from beside them, it was closer than what it seemed, that was probably why it was so damn loud. The phone rang again and Ilya didn’t even bother to look who the caller ID was, he still didn’t even know which one of their phones it was. 

“Oh! You finally answer, I’ll be there—” A voice Ilya couldn’t quite place right now, maybe if it wasn’t balls deep in Shane he might’ve been able too. 

“We’re busy. Stop. Calling.” Ilya growled into the phone, tossing it to the side.

Shane didn’t even flinch at any of that, he just wrapped his legs tighter around Ilya’s waist. 

“Who was it?” Shane moaned, throwing his head back against the counter as Ilya picked up his speed. 

“Couldn’t tell,” Ilya answered honestly. 

“We’ll look after. Don’t stop fucking me,” Shane pleaded with him.

“I didn’t plan on it,” Ilya smirked, grabbing onto Shane’s waist, holding him so tight he was sure there might be bruises left there afterwards. 

The both of them were about to come at the same exact time when they heard a long bang, that startled Shane enough to knock him out of his foggy space. 

“Ilya?” Shane asked, hoping that maybe he just imagined that loud noise. 

It all happened so fast, Ilya was pulling out of Shane and pulling him closer, his Alpha instincts coming out, wanting to protect his Omega. They both looked over at the door, that’s where the banging was coming from. It didn’t sound like knocking though, it sounded like someone was stomping around outside. That’s when Ilya smelt it, it was another Alpha, and why was another Alpha in the middle of nowhere at their cottage. Ilya didn’t move, if anything he held onto his grip of Shane tighter. 

“What is it?” Shane’s smell hadn’t caught up to him yet, he was aware of what Ilya scented out.

“Another Alpha,” Ilya growled. Shane knew it wasn’t directed at him though and that was just Ilya going into protective mode. 

Before Ilya could even make a move to get to the front door, it was swinging open, they must’ve forgotten to lock the front door. Since they are in such a secluded area, sometimes Shane forgets to lock the door at night. After this, Ilya was going to make sure the door was triple locked at night, maybe even during the day, he wasn’t going to allow anyone to have easy access to hurt Shane. But his darkening thoughts were stopped when he heard a chuckle come out of Shane’s mouth, and he turned to see no one other than Hayden fucking Pike. 

“Oh my god!” Hayden's hands flew up to cover his eyes. “I thought that was Rozanov on the other end of the phone! I thought he was hurting you?” 

Ilya growled, his grip tightening on Shane, he knew he had nothing to worry about, it was just Hayden Pike, Shane’s annoyingly stupid best friend. He just didn’t like that Pike automatically assumed he was hurting Shane. 

“Down boy,” Shane pressed a kiss to Ilya’s shoulder, right where he had left the bond mark. It was Shane’s way of trying to calm his nerves and tell Ilya, “I’m yours and no one else's," and it seemed to do the trick. Ilya melted into Shane’s arms, his muscles that were tense softened. 

“Hayden, what are you even doing here?” Shane asked, looking over Ilya’s shoulder. Hayden still had his hands covering his eyes. 

“I’m— I’m going to turn around and talk. So I don’t need to stare right at Rozanov’s ass,” Hayden turned around so his back was facing them and he was facing the door. “What exactly is happening here right now?” Hayden asked. 

“Well we are both naked Pike, what do you think is happening?” Ilya answered before Shane could even get a word in. 

“Ilya,” Shane whispered to him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. 

“Sorry,” Ilya whispered back, sighing in defeat. 

“We were having sex,” Shane responded, he hated that he needed to explain his sex life to Hayden right now. 

That prompted Hayden to turn back around, Shane could see how wide his eyes were, “What?” He exclaimed, his voice sounded shocked, the scent in the room turned into confusion. “He’s your arch rival, you hate him. We hate him!” 

Ilya scoffed at that.

Shane spoke before Ilya would say something he ended up regretting, or before Ilya attempted murder on Hayden. “He is my arch rival. But no, I don't hate him, I actually love him. A lot. He’s my mate,” The words came out of Shane’s mouth so naturally. He hadn’t even confirmed with Ilya if he could tell Hayden they were mated, he would’ve seen the bond marks and figured it out anyways.

“Sorry, what? Did you say you’re mated?” Hayden asked, his head tilted to the side, like he was truly trying to understand what was going on here and what he actually just walked into. 

“Yeah. Ilya is my partner. Now and forever. I love him,” Shane said, it was such a simple response, it was so easy to say. He would repeat that forever if he had too, he would tell the whole world he loved Ilya Rozanov if he could, if it was easy enough. 

“Oh my god, I should’ve listened to Yuna,” Hayden said, he was pacing back and forth in the hallway now, he was still trying to avoid seeing Shane and Ilya naked in the kitchen together.

“You talked to my mom?” Shane asked, he was curious what Yuna had to do with any of this.

“I called her and told her I was on my way but you weren’t answering my calls. She told me you needed time alone and that’s why you weren’t answering. Does she know?” Hayden asked, he was rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands.

“She knows, yeah.” Shane truthfully answered. His mom knew Ilya was here with him, she didn’t know the full details of everything but she knew enough to try and steer Hayden away from coming here. It clearly did not work in anyone's favor though. 

“Jesus Christ. I can’t believe this is happening,” Hayden said.

“What that I’m gay?” Shane’s voice cracked on the last word, like he was trying to hold back tears. This was his worst nightmare, people finding out he’s gay and turning their back on him. 

Ilya could tell that Shane was getting upset, he pulled him closer and ran his finger through his hair, whispering small words of encouragement into his hair, loud enough only so that Shane could hear. Shane could feel his heart rate slowing down, that ache in his chest was still there but Ilya made him feel safe. 

“God! No! Of course not Shane! I don’t care that you’re gay. I just wish I didn’t have to see Ilya Rozanov's ass and his dick!” Hayden breathed out. 

“What? You don’t like it Pike?” Ilya smirked, slightly turning his head so he could see Hayden’s reaction to that. 

That was met with Shane slapping Ilya in the chest, it was a light slap, one to tell Ilya to stop being such an asshole. “Ilya.” Shane warned.

Ilya let out a huff and groaned in annoyance, he didn’t say anything else afterwards. Shane smirked to himself, he had Ilya basically wrapped around his finger, this was already pretty clear, but seeing how easily Ilya folded when Shane said anything, he knew he needed to lock this information tucked away in the deepest parts of his brain. That this was something only he knew was possible and he would be the only one able to access that part of Ilya. 

“I need to bleach my eyes,” Hayden said, heading to the door, “I’m going. I’m leaving. God. I’m so sorry again,” He went to open the door but Shane was already calling to him.

“Wait,” Shane was hopping off the counter and grabbing the pair of boxers on the floor before he could process what he was doing. Hayden couldn’t leave, not before they talked about what happened, not before they talked about what this meant for them. It would’ve been more simple if Ilya and Shane weren’t hiding a secret, but there was a lot at stake here, both of their careers could be on the line. Shane trusts Hayden, he knows he wouldn’t tell anyone on purpose, but he needed to make sure it didn’t come up on accident either. This was something that needed to be kept here, or at least within his family. Shane wasn’t crazy, he knew he couldn’t keep something like this from Jackie, he didn’t expect him too. 

“Ilya please put clothes on,” Shane pleaded with Ilya, his voice was soft, his eyes were scanning the room, trying to do anything but make eye contact. He did that mostly when his brain started going into panic mode, and yes, your best friend walking in on you fucking the person who is your arch rival is cause enough for panic. 

“You won’t tell anyone?” Shane was bending down to grab the shirt on the floor too, he needed clothes on, this was too exposed, he couldn’t be naked for a conversation like this. Not when this could ruin everything he and Ilya had planned for. 

“Buddy, I would never tell anyone, this is your secret not mine,” Hayden spoke. 

Shane let out a sigh, hearing that made him feel slightly better. He knew his brain would make up a bunch of scenarios regardless of what Hayden said, but knowing the truth— that Hayden wouldn’t do that to him— would help ground those thoughts when they did come. 

“You— you can tell Jackie, as long as she doesn’t tell anyone,” Shane mumbled. He felt arms wrap around him— Ilya. His scent made him feel better, he could focus on how serious this conversation was. 

“Are you sure you’re okay with that? If you need more time I can keep it from her for some time,” Hayden asked.

“No. No, I’d never ask you to do that. She’s your partner. Sorry. I just wasn’t expecting this to happen today,” Shane shrugged as he leaned into Ilya’s touch. Safety. 

“That was very kind of you to offer though Pike,” Ilya spoke this time, he nodded in the direction of the couch. He and Shane walked over there, sitting next to each other. Hayden had taken the hint and followed them over there, he sat on the opposite side of them— they were directly facing each other. The room fell silent again, all three of them sat there looking at one another, none of them were sure what to say first.

Hayden broke the silence first, he shifted on the couch causing a squeaking noise to come out from the leather, and then coughed to further help break the silence. “When did this happen? How long has this been happening? It— Uh— seems like it’s been awhile?” 

Ilya took over answering this question, “For a long time. You are correct. Before rookie season, right Shane?” Ilya looked at Shane, he was waiting for a verbal response from Shane. Ilya learned after all these years having Shane engaged in the conversation helps him panic less, it makes his brain focus on answering the question, rather than overthinking the situation. 

“Yeah. It was the summer before rookie season,” Shane confirmed, there was a soft smile on his face, he was remembering their first conversation. 

“Ilya Rozanov? Shane Hollander. I wanted to introduce myself,” Shane stuck out his hand to shake Ilya’s hand. 

Ilya reached his hand out, his hand gently taking Shane’s, shaking his hand back. Shane couldn’t help but think how soft his hands were. He wanted to feel it more, he didn’t want it to end. He just wasn’t sure why he felt that way yet. 

“Oh, I’m— I’m not sure you’re supposed to smoke here,” Shane used his hands to signal smoking a cigarette. He wasn’t sure how much English Ilya had known. 

“Ok,” Ilya responded back. 

“Malysh, where did you go?” Ilya asked Shane, his hand reaching up to stroke Shane’s cheek.

“Sorry, I was just remembering the first time we ever spoke to each other,” Shane’s cheeks blushed bright red.

“Ah. Yes. You were so cute, introducing yourself to me. Shane Hollander,” Ilya smirked. 

“You’re such an asshole,” Shane could feel his shoulders getting less tense, he was becoming more relaxed.

“So it’s really serious then?” Hayden asked, but before either of them even had a chance to respond Hayden was starting to speak again. “Honestly, I’m really happy for you guys. Ilya seems like— he seems like he’s really good for you Shane.” 

“He is. Yeah, he really is good for me,” Shane’s cheeks were even brighter than they already were.

“How do you guys plan on hiding the fact you are bonded? I can smell Ilya’s scent all over you Shane,” Hayden asked. 

He was just being a concerned friend, Shane could tell he was being genuine, that it wasn’t coming from any malicious point of view. He wanted to make sure his friend stayed as safe as possible.

“We have a plan,” Ilya spoke up. They had talked about this already this morning before they had bonded with each other, it was still pretty fresh on the mind. “We will wear scent patches as usual which will mask the smell and they will cover bond mark. Very simple,” 

In retrospect it did seem like a pretty simple and straight forward plan, they were required to do all that anyways, they just would have to make sure to be extra careful.

“Oh. That seems simple enough,” Hayden responded, he sounded like he was shocked at how simple the plan truly was, and that they had thought this all through. “You’re not worried about someone finding out?” 

“I mean yes. Always. But we will be extra careful,” Ilya said and it sounded like a promise. He was promising to make sure to keep Shane safe. “Now can you leave Pike? I want to keep fucking Shane,”

“Ilya!” Shane hit his leg, looking at him with his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Hollander, you look like angry kitten. Meow,” Ilya smirked at him.

“Hayden, ignore him. I’ll make up the guest room for you,” Shane glared at Ilya again, while standing up. 

“No— no. It’s okay. It’s only like a two hour drive back, it’s okay. It’s my fault, I should’ve listened to Yuna,” Hayden stood up following behind Shane.

“Hayd, it’s okay. Ilya is being an asshole,” Shane sighed. He didn’t want Hayden to feel like he had to leave, Ilya was just being a menace. 

“Buddy,” Hayden put his hand on Shane’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m sorry for interrupting. How about this, I’ll talk to Jackie and we can have you two over for dinner soon. The kids have been asking for Uncle Shane,” Hayden finished, pulling Shane into a hug.

Shane could hear footsteps coming from behind him, and they were both greeted by Ilya being in both of their spaces now. He didn’t intervene though, he just stood there and watched, he let Shane have this moment with his friend.

“We’d love that, right Ilya?” Shane pulled away from Hayden arms, looking directly at Ilya, giving him the say yes and don’t be rude look. 

“Yes. We will have dinner with the Pikes and their one thousand children,” Ilya smiled. 

Shane gave him a nod of approval, and mouthed “Thank you.” 

“You’re going to sit at the children’s table,” Hayden huffed under his breath.

“What’s that Pike? I will sit at children’s table? Good. I like your kids more than I like you,” Ilya smirked. 

That comment gained him a smack in the chest from Shane, Ilya put both of his hands in the air, one of them pointing at Hayden.

“Ilya.” Shane warned. 

“What! He started it! He said I am banned to the children’s table. I don’t see you yelling at him. This is hate Ilya fanclub, run by Hayden Pike, co-president Shane Hollander,” Ilya groaned, his face scrunching up. 

“Well I was about to say something to Hayden before you interrupted me saying I’m in the hate Ilya fanclub,” Shane’s hands went to his forehead, rubbing his temples. This friendship was going to be like navigating a hellscape.

“No no. Is fine. You will have dinner with Pikes. I will be alone since my boyfriend is in the Hate Ilya fanclub,” Ilya crossed his arms and turned to walk away. Shane knew Ilya was playing into the dramatics but he also didn’t know how far Ilya would be taking it. Or if there was any real truth behind the way he was acting.

“Rozanov. I was just kidding,” Hayden spoke, after Shane had shot his eyes to him. 

“Is fine. You and Shane have fun,” Ilya kept on walking, he was heading back into the direction of the bedroom. 

Things started shifting in the air, feelings and smells started changing. Shane could smell it, he could feel it. Sadness. Loneliness. Jealousy. That was new though, because he wasn’t feeling those feelings. Yet he could feel them so vividly, to the point where his heart was hurting. But that was something he’d discuss with Ilya later, there wasn’t time for that right now. 

“Ilya. Baby,” Shane pleaded out. Ilya had stopped right in his tracks, he slowly turned to face Shane again. “Come back,” Shane softly spoke to him. 

With no hesitation Ilya was back in Shane’s space, his arms wrapping around Shane’s body. He leaned back into Ilya’s touch, he could feel Ilya’s grip tighten around his waist.

“I’m gonna go. We will all have dinner, okay?” Hayden said.

“Yeah. We will all have dinner. I need you two to try and get along,” Shane sighed. He loved Ilya but he also loved Hayden too. Hayden was one of his best friends, he needed them to at least maybe pretend to play nice. 

“I will keep my claws away. For you sweetheart,” Ilya kissed the side of his head, and then looked at Hayden. 

“Ilya and I will be just fine,” Hayden smiled, even if he could tell it was being forced, he was at least trying. 

“Thank you both,” Shane responded.

Hayden reached the front door completly, opening it up and waving to the both of them before heading out the door. 

Neither of them said anything at first, it wasn’t until they heard the sound of the engine clicking on and the car pulling out of the driveway that either one of them spoke. 

“Ilya,” Shane started, turning around in his arms so they were facing each other. “You were upset,” Shane continued, reaching his hand up to graze Ilya’s cheekbone. 

“I was not upset,” Ilya said as he leaned into Shane’s touch. 

“You were. Don’t lie,” Shane replied, “I could feel it,” 

“What? You could feel it?” Ilya questioned, looking at Shane confused. 

“Yeah. Your sadness, and jealously, I could feel it. All of it,” Shane pressed a kiss to Ilya’s lips, pulling away so that his forehead was laying on top of Ilya’s. 

“I knew they said it was possible, but I never believed it,” Ilya responded. He heard rumors growing up that once he bonded with an Omega if they were your soulmate that you’d be able to feel each other's feelings, and pain. He just never believed it, he thought it was a silly rumor people made up. He had never been around people who were bonded to be able to tell. His parents weren’t bonded while his mom was alive, his father never wanted to do that. He didn’t believe in it. 

“Knew what was possible?” Shane asked, confused. 

“That once you bond with your soulmate you can feel what each other feels. Like feelings and pain. Things like that. I thought it was silly rumor growing up,” Ilya responded.

Shane could see the tears starting to well up in Ilya’s eyes, he could feel his own cheeks starting to dampen as well. He swiped a finger across Ilya’s cheek, wiping the tears from his cheeks. 

“We’re soulmates?” Shane asked, he couldn’t believe those words were coming out of his mouth. He knew soulmates existed but he knew it was hard to find them. That statistically speaking only 37% of people actually find their soulmate. You can bond with someone but that doesn’t mean your soulmates. It doesn’t affect your bond with that person, or make it any less real, you just are considered mates.

“Seems like it, lybov’ moya,” Ilya said, smiling so big it looked like his face would split in half. 

“But— I didn’t know that’s how it worked. That you can feel things that your soulmate is feeling. I never knew that,” Shane confessed. Growing up he didn’t talk about things like this much, he didn’t have very many people to talk to about it. Making friends was hard, he was always overly sensitive as a child, it made it hard for him to hang around people. He has hockey, which was good exposure to how the world could be, but he got hyper focused on hockey pretty early on. It wasn’t like that for the other kids on his team, they liked the sport but it became Shane’s life. It was his outlet for expressing himself, he felt free on the ice, like he was normal. 

That would just lead him deeper into his loneliness though, he would spend his whole life paying attention to just hockey. Yuna and David tried, they would suggest for him to go out with his friends, or at least just leave the house. It never worked, if Shane wasn’t playing hockey he was at home learning, he loved learning new things, science in particular. The way the ocean worked was so interesting to him, he wanted to emerge himself into it. 

He didn’t have people to talk about bonding or soulmates with, or how any of that stuff worked. The only things he knew was the information his parents fed him, and he knows they tried their best, they tried to explain it to him to the best of their ability. Being a boy Omega is hard, it’s not easy. Though it’s becoming more common now, when Shane was in his developmental years there wasn’t much information surrounding it. People knew how Omega worked with women but they hadn’t quite figured out how it went with men.

Shane was on suppressants his whole life, it was daily and became a part of him. He wasn’t ashamed of it, but he was afraid of it. In such an Alpha dominated sport his parents made it clear to him from when he started he needed to make sure he stayed safe. So even in his teen years there weren't many people to talk to, he couldn’t just strike a conversation with someone that could give away a secret he had been hiding for years.

The NHL were the first people Shane told, and that was only because it was required, he had no choice. Shockingly they were good about it, they didn’t make it a big deal at all, it almost felt as if it was normal. 

“Shane— sweetheart, where did you go?” Ilya broke Shane out of his endless thoughts. 

“Sorry. Just a lot of thinking. I didn’t know— like I was told you can find soulmates and they exist but, I just didn’t realize what else it meant. There weren't many people I could talk to growing up about this. I had no friends, a lot of this is still new to me. God. I feel so stupid,” Shane’s voice cracked at the end. He could feel his anxiety peaking through, even though he tried to mash it down. “You are safe with Ilya. He is safe.” He repeated to himself in his brain. 

“Hey. Shane. Slow down. Look at me, breathe with me,” Ilya slowly spoke, regulating his breathing to a slower pace so Shane could try and copy it.

“We are learning together, yes? I did not know this was even true. It was just some things people would talk about back home.” Ilya said, leaning forward to press kiss Shane. It was light and sweet.

Shane’s body relaxed into Ilya’s touch, allowing himself to calm his nervous system down. Ilya was right, Shane knew that, he would never admit that out loud since it would go straight to Ilya’s head but it was true. They were both in this boat together, learning things about themselves and how bonding works together. Shane wasn’t in this world alone anymore, he didn’t need to worry about not being able to talk to anyone. He had a perfectly capable person he could talk to anytime he needed. 

“I know,” Shane opted with that answer instead of telling Ilya he was right. 

“You think I am right,” Ilya smirked, shooting a wink at Shane. 

“How did you even know that?” Shane asked, confused. 

“I can smell it on you, and can feel your energy,” Ilya replied.

This was going to be something both of them needed to get used to, the fact that now there was this unspoken force in the air that the both of them could basically communicate with each other through. Shane was going to research this, he was going to deep dive the internet, most likely reddit. He wanted to know everything he could know about this, now that he knew it was a possibility and was very much happening to him and Ilya. 

“We’re really soulmates,” Shane said, with the goofiest smile on his face.

“We are,” Ilya smiled back, pulling Shane into the bedroom. “Now I believe you owe me one last time, don’t you?” 

Shane squealed as he was thrown onto the bed. He was exactly where he wanted to be. Do not attempt to save him.

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

“Shane,” Ilya whispered into his hair, they were tangled in the bed sheets together hours later, Shane was doing exactly what his brain thought he would be doing, research. After the last time, the both cleaned up and showered, they spent some time outside, Shane cooked burgers for them. But they ended up back in bed together, it was deeper in the day, the sun had already started setting. Shane had been on his phone staring at the screen for what seemed to be hours. The soulmate subreddit became his best friend, and he was a good student, he had a note page open on his ipad next to him writing down information he thought they needed to know.

“Hm? Yeah?” Shane asked, not looking away from the screen for even a second. 

“You’ve been staring at the phone for hours, put it down,” Ilya said, using his hand to gently push Shane’s phone out of the view of his face. “Enough research for today. Your brain is smart and big already,” Ilya gently kissed him.

“Okay,” Shane leaned into the kiss and kissed Ilya back. 

“We should invite your parents over, Yuna and David, yes?” Ilya said, resting his forehead against Shane’s.

“You want to meet my parents?” Shane asked. He knew Ilya was serious about this, but he didn’t know that Ilya would want to meet his parents, or if he would be okay with his parents knowing about them. 

“Of course I want to meet your parents, solnechnyy svet. Did you think I wouldn’t want to?” Ilya asked.

“No! Yeah, I thought you would. I just didn’t know if you’d be okay with my parents knowing about us,” Shane shyly replied.

“Of course we will tell your parents. You are their pup,” Ilya rested his hand on Shane’s cheek. 

“You’re sure?” Shane asked. He knew the constant reassurance was a lot to ask for, it could turn annoying fast. He worried that Ilya would get frustrated with him needing constant reassurance. 

“Sweetheart. I can feel you thinking from here,” Ilya started. “I’m sure. Get your phone, call your mom right now,” 

“You said no more screen time,” Shane teased. 

“Oh so now you are feeling better enough to be asshole. Get the phone, Hollander,” Ilya laughed. 

Shane grabbed the phone that was on Ilya’s side of the bed, he unlocked it and clicked on his moms contact. There was no going back after this, once his mom answered and he started talking, it would be the start of change.

“Hi honey!” Yuna said onto the other end of the phone, Shane clicked the phone so it was on speaker. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you! Is everything alright?” 

“Hi mom. Uh— um—” Shane started, but his throat felt oddly dry, the words were getting stuck, there was nothing coming out of his mouth.

“Hi Ms.Hollander. Yuna right?” Ilya quickly said, in place of Shane. 

“Oh! Ilya!” Yuna replied, cheerfully. “Hold on! Let me get your father!” The both of them could hear Yuna yelling for David on the other side of the phone. 

“You okay?” Ilya asked, after pressing mute on the phone. 

Shane nodded and unclicked the mute button, he didn’t want it to be long enough that his mom noticed the silence and questioned why it was so silent all of a sudden. (She wouldn’t but Shane’s anxiety didn’t allow him to think how a normal person should sometimes. 

“Okay, David’s here. What’s up boys?” Yuna said. 

“Hi,” David spoke after Yuna was done speaking,

Shane and Ilya both said “Hi,” back at the same exact time. Which caused a chuckle from Yuna.

“Shane and I were talking and we wanted to know if you two would like to come to dinner?” Ilya asked, looking over at Shane as he finished asking the question. 

“Dinner? Oh, we would love that!” Yuna responded. “I do just have one small question though,” 

Here it came, everything in Shane’s worst nightmare was going to come to a head, his parents would question why he was with Ilya and not with some other boy. They would tell him they didn’t accept this, that Shane needed to find someone else if they wanted them to be supportive. 

“Hey. Hey. Shane, come back to earth,” Ilya whispered, pressing a kiss to Shane’s hair. 

“Are you guys officially together now finally?” Yuna asked.

“I— yeah. We’re— we’re together now,” Shane was the one to answer this time.

Shane, we’re so proud of you. You have to know that, right?” That was David speaking this time. 

“I know.” Shane quickly responded.

“And we love you no matter what,” David finished his sentence. 

“Thank you for being so understanding,” Ilya spoke up before Shane could. 

There was a long pause, everyone was just taking in the conversation that happened, taking in that this was very real and wasn’t going away. Shane’s brain was finally catching up to him that his parents were okay with this and that he didn’t need to be so afraid that they weren’t. He was safe, not just with Ilya, but with his family. They were his lifelines, along with Ilya. 

“So dinner, next week? Your dad and I will come to the cottage,” Yuna was the first to break the silence. 

“Yeah. That’s perfect mom. Ilya can cook,” Shane said. 

“Oh and he cooks. Ilya Rozanov, I wasn’t aware of your game like that,” Yuna chuckled. Shane could hear her smirking through the phone. He knew his mom well enough to be able to see what facial expressions she was making just through her voice. 

“Only for Shane,” Ilya winked at Shane, causing Shane’s face to turn bright red. 

“Sounds perfect. We will see you boys then! Bye! Love you!” Yuna said before hanging up the phone. 

Shane relaxed into Ilya’s touch, resting his head on Ilya’s chest. 

“You are okay?” Ilya asked again, his arms wrapping around Shane’s waist.

“Only because you are here,” Shane confessed. “I don’t think I could’ve done that on my own,” 

“Well you have me forever now. Your parents were good though, yes?” Ilya asked but Shane’s brain could only focus on one thing. “You have me forever now. Forever now. Forever.” It wasn’t just him who felt like this, it was Ilya too. Ilya wanted this to be forever just as much as Shane did, they were on the same page with this. 

Younger Shane never thought this would be his life. Besides the loneliness from feeling and being different, he didn’t feel like the other boys. He wasn’t interested in girls the way the other guys around him were. He remembered the first time he kissed a girl and how weird it was. Though, he never admitted that to anyone, not even the girl who he kissed, he just pretended it didn’t happen. He thought maybe he just wasn’t interested in that kind of stuff. The second time he kissed a girl, that's when things started to shift. She wanted to go to second base, but he did not. Not with her at least. 

He told himself after that moment he would never do anything with anyone else ever again, he chalked it up to him not being interested in that stuff. He was already different, why not make his life even more different. That was when he was in 11th grade. 

Then he saw Ilya, he was freshly, they were both just about to be rookies, it was the summer before. It was weird how different this feeling was. Shane Hollander, the boy who never wanted to do anything with anyone, the boy who didn’t like kissing, wanted to kiss Ilya. He wanted to tug on Ilya’s perfectly curly locks, he wanted to feel what it felt like to kiss a boy. 

There were thoughts like this that would creep up in his younger years, seeing a boy and thinking he was cute. But Ilya was the first boy who he felt it so much he wouldn’t be able to control himself if he ever got the chance. 

So one could say that Ilya was Shane’s first in almost everything, first crush, first experience with a boy, first person he loved. It had always been Ilya, it would always be Ilya. 

“You were my first you know,” Shane blurted out. 

“Well, Hollander, yes. I know this. Why are you bringing it up,” Ilya asked, slightly confused. He did that thing with his eyebrows he always did when something didn’t make sense to him.

“No. I mean yeah, in sex yeah. But I meant like. My first crush. That too,” Shane buried his face in Ilya’s chest, hiding how red his face was when he said that. He didn’t mean to bring this up, the words were flying out of his mouth before he could realize what he was saying. He was so deep in the thought, and he wanted Ilya to know that, regardless of how embarrassing it was.

“Your first crush?” Ilya questioned. “Shane look at me,” 

Shane looked up, he looked like a boy who had just gotten caught with a girl in their room for the first time with how much he was blushing. 

“But there were girls before me, yes? You had kissed girls before me?” Ilya asked. They had talked about that, Ilya knew he was his first experience with a man but he had assumed Shane had other experiences with girls at least. 

“I mean I kissed girls before, it was only two. It wasn’t the same. It didn’t feel the same. I don’t— I don’t really think I wanted it. I did it because I felt like I needed to do it. That I needed to be normal, be like the rest of the boys in my grade. Both times I only kissed them once. It was just not what I wanted. I was already different. I just thought I didn’t want to kiss anyone,” Shane started, “And then there was you, you changed everything. I wanted to kiss you so bad. And your hair. Your curls. I wanted to run my fingers through them. But I wasn’t even sure if I was gay. I never—  I never wanted to do that with a man. And then you were there, and I wanted anything I could get with you.” Shane sucked in a deep breath. 

“That is why you came and introduced yourself to me? And distracted me with your beautiful freckles?” Ilya asked.

“Distracted you? And what do my freckles have to do with anything with it?” 

“Ah yes. That was the first thing I noticed. Shane Hollander, with the most beautiful freckles I’ve ever seen. I wanted to trace them with my finger tips,” It was Ilya’s turn to confess something. “You had left me speechless, Hollander, it’s why I barely talked. I did not want to say something and embarrass myself or have my english fail me,” 

“Don’t call me Hollander when you’re being cute to me,” Shane rolled his eyes. Normally Shane didn’t mind being called his last name. They would do it when they chirped at each other all the time, but this moment wasn’t the time for that. 

“Okay. Okay. Lyubov’ moya, is this better?” Ilya asked, emphasizing on the last two words. 

Shane ignored him, asking him the next question that came to his mind instead, “It was for both of us then? That feeling we couldn’t shake?” 

“Of course. It’s why I planned our first date,” Ilya chuckled. 

“Our first date? Tuna melts? When I ran out? That was years later?” Shane asked, confused.

“Ah no. Toronto 2010.” Ilya’s face turned bright red, it was a bad day to say Russians do not blush. 

“Toronto 2010? That was the first time we did anything. The photoshoot?” Shane asked, he was replaying the events that happened that year in his head. The photo shoot was the only thing that could maybe make sense. 

“You look pretty,” Ilya smirked at Shane.

“You’re wearing makeup too,” Shane responded back. 

“Yeah, but I don’t look pretty,” Ilya shrugged. 

They started up the shoot again, doing the same moves over again. Stick on the ice, make eye contact, look normal. But asking two 19 year olds to keep a straight face while doing the same thing on repeat was not easy. Ilya had started it, he looked at Shane and couldn’t contain his giggles. It started with small giggles, them looking at each other and not being able to control themselves. 

“Okay, I get it guys. It’s been a long day,” One of the cameramen directing them on what to do had said to them.

“Sorry,” Ilya replied, still giggling. 

They had done it again, this time no giggling though, instead Ilya had the widest grin on his face, while directly staring at Shane. This time, Shane couldn’t control himself, “Sorry,” 

“The more serious we can do, the quicker we can go home,” The same man called out, again. 

Ilya was hunched over laughing this time, not being able to control himself at all, Shane had followed suit, their laughs filling up the space. 

“Sorry,” Ilya said through his laughter. “I can do it, I promise!” 

The final time was a failure again, a few pictures were snapped but they weren’t going to be any good for the campaign, as they both were laughing again. 

“Okay, I think we have what we are gonna get here.” The cameraman sighed, he finally gave up. 

The shoot was over but they hadn’t left the rink yet. Ilya was sitting on the bench, Shane leaning over the edge while still on the ice. 

“When did they tell you that you do commercial with me and not just alone?” Ilya asked. 

“I don’t know, like two days ago?” Shane responded. 

Ilya nodded, his arm reaching up and putting it behind his head awkwardly. 

“Why? When did they tell you?” Shane asked. 

“No, they told me nothing. It was my idea.” Ilya said, his hand still behind his head. He was saved by the awkwardness of someone calling Shane’s name. 

“Hey. Wait, is that why you said it was your idea?” Shane asked, as the memory in his head replayed. 

“Yes. Wanted to call you pretty and spend more time with you. It was our first date,” Ilya shrugged. “Is no big deal,” 

“Ilya.” Shane giggled. “That’s sweet,” 

“What can I say, you make me sweet. You make me want to do things I never thought I would do. Is why I emailed Mr. Cameraman for the pictures,” Ilya spoke like it was no big deal. 

“What?” Shane asked, making sure he was hearing Ilya correctly, or that Ilya wasn’t making a mistake with his English. (He knew he wasn’t. Ilya’s English was pretty incredible for it not being his native language. Shane knew that.)

“I have the pictures on secret photo app on my phone. We were cute that day. They are memories. Memories of our first date.” Ilya grabbed his phone and unlocked it, going to an app that had a background of a calculator but when he clicked it prompted him for a passcode.

There were lots of pictures on there, pictures of them throughout the first couple of years of their relationship. The selfies on stage during Las Vegas, the pictures of the photoshoot, screenshots of their text threads, pictures of Shane he had saved on his phone. They were all there, safe in this passcode protected app, Shane didn’t even know Ilya was doing this. 

“You have this all?” Shane asked, there were tears forming in his eyes, he could feel himself rapidly blinking to try and push it back. 

“Yes. I wanted to remember it all. I needed to remember it all.” Ilya said it like it wasn’t a big deal, like Shane’s heart wasn’t melting at the thought of all these years, Ilya keeping his own little time capsule of their relationship. 

“I love you,” Shane choked out, the tears were spilling down his cheeks now, he couldn’t stop it.

“I love you. So much. Shane Hollander, you may have fallen first, but I fell harder,” Ilya admitted. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

It was the day that Shane’s parents were coming over to the cottage. They had talked about this, and Ilya told him he would be fine. This was not a big deal, he would cook dinner and Shane’s parents would love him. Ilya was not fine. Shane knew it the second he woke up and Ilya wasn’t in bed. There was a weird noise coming from the living area, a vacuum. Shane didn’t even know he owned a vacuum. It was mostly hardwood floor, he would just use a broom and dust pan and mop when it was time to clean. 

He found Ilya by the couch, the one place in the house where there was a rug, and he was vacuuming. Everything. Not just the rug, but the couch, and the lamp shade, or anything that had a surface. They had cleaned the house the night prior, so Shane knew something was wrong.

“Ilya,” Shane walked out of the bedroom, his pants hanging low on his hips. His hair was sticking out in 15 different directions, he hadn’t had a chance to look in the mirror 

“Shane! You look crazy! Go fix your hair!” Ilya pointed out. There was definitely something wrong, Ilya didn’t even comment on the fact that his boyfriend was standing there shirtless. 

“Baby.” Shane tried again, walking over to where Ilya exactly was in the living room. He pulled the vacuum out of his hands, placing it down on the coach after turning it off. “It’s 7 am. Why are you up so early? We cleaned yesterday?” Shane asked, wrapping his arms around Ilya. 

“Your parents are coming! It needs to be spotless!” Ilya said, his voice cracking. 

Shane could hear the strain in his voice, he knew Ilya would be nervous, but he didn’t think it would be this bad. He didn’t want Ilya to be this stressed out about meeting his parents. 

“Baby,” Shane repeated. “The house is perfect, it’s clean. Everything is perfect. Please come back to bed?” Shane asked, putting on his best begging eyes. He was not someone who was against begging. 

“I would love to sweetheart, but I must finish cleaning and shower and start the food for dinner,” Ilya responded. Though, Shane still had him trapped in his arms. 

They both were pretty strong guys, they both played hockey, being strong came along with that. Ilya was usually the one who did most of the lifting but that didn’t mean Shane couldn’t, he just didn’t want to most of the time. That’s how Shane found himself lifting Ilya up over his shoulder, and marching them back into the bedroom.

“Hollander? What are you doing?” Ilya asked, he wasn’t even trying to get out of Shane’s embrace.

“It’s Shane, or sweetheart. Or anything but Hollander right now. I’m going back to bed with my boyfriend, what else does it look like?” Shane responded back, there was a slight attitude in his voice.

“Oh. Okay. I am sorry sweetheart,” Ilya didn’t even try fighting back. 

Shane threw him onto the bed, and laid down next to him. “You need to stop thinking,” 

It’s your parents Shane! I must impress them,” Ilya sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“And it is 7 A.M. We don’t even need to be up this early,” Shane groaned. He would’ve enjoyed cuddling with his boyfriend for some extra time instead of being woken up by a vacuum. Now that he was awake he was going to at least make it worth his time.

“So here's what we’re going to do,” Shane smirked, crawling on top of Ilya.

“Oh so you are in charge?” Ilya winked at him, his voice in a teasing tone. 

“Shut up,” Shane furrowed his eyebrows, staring at Ilya. “Like I was saying. I’m gonna sit on your cock and fuck you, and you’re going to sit here and take it. Sounds good?” 

Ilya was pulling Shane down into his chest and kissing him.

Shane pulled away though, he could feel Ilya chasing his lips with his own. “I’m not done,” He pressed a kiss to Ilya’s lips again. “Then we can shower together. And then you can start cooking dinner since you are so set on that.” 

“Mhm, sounds like you have it all planned out, yes?” Ilya’s hands were roaming rather close to Shane’s ass, he squeezed slightly. 

“You need to relax,” Shane said, while lifting his hand to rub his wrist against Ilya’s cheek. Hoping that his scent would help take the edge off Ilya’s thoughts.

“You want to make me forget?” Ilya asked, his pupils now almost fully dilated.

“Let me make you forget,” Shane kissed Ilya’s neck right where his scent gland is.

“Make me forget sweetheart,” Ilya groaned before pulling Shane down into a sloppy kiss. It was messy, more than it typically was for them. Ilya slid his tongue into Shane’s mouth, running it over his bottom lip before using his teeth to pull at his bottom lip. It wasn’t hard, but enough for a moan to escape Shane’s mouth. 

Shane was wishing now he pulled his sweatpants off when he had a chance, he could feel a wet spot forming where his hardened dick sat. He was grinding down into Ilya’s lap, trying to create any friction he could between them. 

“You are humping my leg? Like a good little dog?” Ilya asked, bucking his hips upwards to meet Shane’s grinds. 

Ilya’s hands slid between Shane’s sweatpants and his skin, he was feeling for underwear and quickly realized, there was nothing there. “Ah. You naughty boy, no underwear? You wanted to be ready for me?” 

Shane groaned, pushing on Ilya’s chest slightly. “No you asshole, I just threw something on quick because my boyfriend was missing this morning,” 

Ilya chuckled. He tapped on Shane’s thigh and like clockwork, Shane lifted his body up just enough so that Ilya could slide the sweatpants down. “Lift for one more second, sweetheart,” 

Shane followed his request, even though he was supposed to be in charge tonight, his submissive side couldn’t help but shine through. Ilya pulled his pants down, throwing that and his underwear across the room. Shane would make sure he picked that up later, he didn’t need his mom coming in here for anything and seeing Ilya’s underwear laying on the floor.

“Since you are in charge today, do you need me to prep you?” Ilya asked. He was always such a good top. 

Shane shook his head, “I prepped before I came out here,” 

“Ah. So you knew from the start you wanted my dick?” Ilya smirked at Shane. 

He didn’t even reply, he just reached over to the bed side table and grabbed the lube that was right on the counter top. It was still out from the night prior, because yes, they tend to have a lot of sex. Sue Shane Hollander for wanting to fuck his super hot boyfriend. 

Before settling back down against Ilya’s body he squirted lube onto Ilya’s cock, using his hand to smooth the lube over it. He let himself sink down slowly onto Ilya’s cock, his rim brushing over Ilya’s tip. He stayed there momentarily, not moving. Ilya had both hands on Shane’s hips, both of Shane’s hands were resting on his chest.

“Hollander. Shane. Sweetheart,” Ilya groaned out, his fingers gripping so hard on Shane’s waist that there’d definitely be a mark left there. “Please move,” 

Shane smirked, he had Ilya exactly where he wanted him, begging and trembling under his touch. That was the best way Shane knew how to get Ilya out of this headspace he was in. Shane knew why he was nervous but he also knew Ilya had no reason to be this nervous. His parents would love Ilya and of course they were already supportive of them. 

“Shane. Sweetheart. If you don’t move I am going to die. Right here. Right now.” Ilya whined.

“Maybe ask nicely,” Shane smirked, allowing himself to move on Ilya’s cock, but barely anything. Shane was enjoying this a little too much. 

“Please. Fuck. You feel so good, let me fill you up,” Ilya begged.

It was enough for Shane, he allowed himself to sink fully down onto Ilya, his ass meeting Ilya’s thighs. Shane could feel the grip that Ilya had on his waist tightening even more than it already was. Ilya pulled Shane downwards, so that their chests were flush against each other. Shane's hips slowly started moving up and down on Ilya’s cock. He knew this wouldn’t be enough for Ilya, and he was proven right when Ilya became thrusting upwards and meeting each time Shane pressed against him.

“Fu—mpft. Ilya,” Shane moaned, one of his hands moving from Ilya’s chest to cup his jaw, pressing down a mouthy kiss. 

“Ah. So you think you are in control but then melt the second I start fucking you,” It was Ilya’s turn to smirk. He used his hands on Shane’s waist to push him down harder onto his cock. Ilya looked between them and could see Shane leaking from his tip. “Have not even touched you and you’re already soaked,” 

“Jesus Christ,” Shane groaned, throwing his head down and landing in the crook of Ilya’s neck.

“No, just Ilya Rozanov,” Ilya chuckled, as he grabbed Shane and flipped them over so he was on top now.  He grabbed Shane’s legs and threw them over his shoulder, allowing him to get even deeper than he already was.

“Oh my god. Ilya. Holy fuck,” Shane threw his head back aganist the pillow, his hands gripping the sheets besides him. 

Ilya leaned down, Shane’s knees were pressed to his chest, he was folded in half like a pretzel. Shane was so glad he chose this morning to do yoga or he would’ve been in pain right now. Ilya’s cross was dangling in front of his face, hoovering over his mouth. Shane took this as an opportunity to open his mouth and stick his tongue out and close his mouth around the cross. 

“Fuck, Shane. You’re so perfect. You look so pretty like that,” Ilya’s thrusts started to get sloppy.

“‘M gonna come,” Shane slurred out, trying to keep the cross in his mouth while slipping those words out. 

“Come baby, I’ll be right behind you. You’re such a good boy,” Ilya praised him. 

Shane always took to praise, he threw his head backwards, the cross slipping out of his mouth, and a flow of cuss words coming out of his mouth as he came. Ilya pressed one last thrust into him before coming inside Shane himself. He let Shane’s legs fall off his shoulders so Shane was laying flat on the  bed before allowing himself to fall on top of Shane like he was his own personal weighted blanket. 

They laid there in silence for a couple minutes, Ilya petting Shane’s hair, peppering soft kisses along Shane’s face and jaw line. 

“Thank you, malysh, I needed that,” Ilya whispered, while rubbing his face directly on Shane’s scent gland.

“I know you did. Do you feel better?” Shane’s fingertips trailed up Ilya’s back.

“I do, you always know what I need,” Ilya lifted his head so they were face to face again. He pressed a soft kiss to Shane’s lips.

“Now let's go get clean and you can go back to vacuuming the couch if you’d like,” Shane chucked.

“No more vacuuming the couch, we can sit on couch and watch tv til I start cooking dinner,” Ilya laughed. 

“Did you figure out yet what you’re going to cook?” Shane asked, his hands tightened behind Ilya’s back. Shane knew he needed to get up, that he would regret laying here in a sticky mess once they got up, but right now he was enjoying it. 

“I think chicken parm and pasta, you said Yuna likes that, right?” Ilya asked. 

“Yeah, mom and dad love that, one of their favorite Italian dishes,” Shane replied. 

“And we have everything right?” Ilya asked again.

Shane knew that Ilya knew that had everything, they had gotten the delivery service yesterday and Ilya had helped Shane put everything away. After of course Shane told him exactly where everything needed to be. 

“We have everything, and if we don’t I’ll run to the store, stop freaking out. For once it’s you freaking out over everything and not me,” Shane laughed, usually it was the opposite, that Shane would be the one panicking and wanting to make sure everything was perfect. Usually it was him stress cleaning or stressing about if everything was in the house that they needed. 

“I just want everything to be perfect. I have never loved someone but you. I have never even thought of meeting someone's parents,” Ilya responded.

“I promise they will love you. You have nothing to worry about,” Shane reassured Ilya, that’s all he could keep doing, and he would keep doing it till Ilya believed him. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

It was exactly 4 P.M when Yuna and David knocked on the door, exactly the time they said they would arrive. Shane knew that was most likely because of Yuna, all throughout Shane’s childhood she would make sure if they weren’t early they were running exactly on time. He didn’t expect anything less from her.

“Hi mom! Hi dad,” Shane said as he opened the door. Ilya had originally wanted to be the one to open the door for them but they had just so happened to walk up to the door the second he was throwing the pasta into the pan on top of the stove. “Ilya’s just in the kitchen, he’s putting the pasta in now. Perfect timing!” Shane moved to the side to let them inside the house.

“We brought vodka. Your father insisted for it to be Russian— that Russian vodka is the best,” Yuna said, holding the bottle out to Shane.

“Oh. Thanks! You guys didn’t have too,” Shane grabbed the bottle, walking towards the dining area, putting the bottle of vodka in the middle of the table. Ilya had placed four plates out already, each with a fork and knife right next to them. 

Ilya came out of the kitchen, towel swung over his shoulder, he was wearing the apron that Shane insisted he wore even though Ilya protested against it. 

“Hi Mrs and Mr Hollander, I wanted to be at the door when you showed up but the dinner had other plans,” Ilya nervously chuckled.

“Oh, nonsense. You’re already doing enough by cooking us dinner. And please, it’s Yuna and David,” Yuna smiled. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Shane’s said nothing but incredible things,” Ilya stuck his hand out to shake her hand.

Yuna chuckled as she grabbed Ilya’s hand and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you for taking such good care of my boy,” She whispered into his ear. Ilya allowed himself to relax into her touch. He then quickly greeted David with a handshake before running back into the kitchen. 

Shane sat with his parents at the table, Ilya had brought them wine glasses from the kitchen, those were the only appropriate cups he could think of. Dinner had just finished cooking and he came back into the dining area, the chicken neatly placed on top of one of the larger plates and the pasta inside a bowl. Ilya was just about to head back into the kitchen, until Shane stopped him.

“Ilya, sit. Whatever it is can wait, let’s eat,” Shane said to him with pleading eyes. 

He wasn’t one to deny Shane of what he wanted, Shane knew that. It’s not his fault he’d use it to his advantage sometimes. Ilya sat down next to Shane, there wasn’t even an argument, when Ilya would usually at least try to rage bait Shane. 

Yuna took it upon herself to open up the vodka bottle again and pour some into Ilya’s cup and refill hers and David’s. Shane shook his head when she asked if he wanted anymore, he didn’t. 

“So Shane told me about the plan” Yuna said, as she helped herself to another serving of pasta. 

“The plan?” Ilya asked, his voice slightly shaky. A regular person might have not noticed it, but Shane did. 

Shane slid his hand under the table and reached for Ilya’s thigh, resting his hand there, squeezing it slightly. As a “You’re okay. We’re okay.” 

“Yes! Shane was telling us about your guys plans on the foundation and such. We think it’s an incredible idea,” Yuna said. “Do you guys plan on telling anyone? Maybe your friends?” 

That was when Shane started to shut down slightly. They hadn’t talked about telling anyone yet, or if they wanted to tell people. Hayden had found out accidentally and he was good about it, but Shane knew others might not be good about it. That people he once considered his friends might not be good about it. 

It was hot in the locker room, it always got like this after a game, especially when they won by such a landslide. They won 5-2 against Florida in that game. Shane was on fire, he knew that. He played a pretty damn good game. He picked up his phone that was tucked away in his locker, a text from Lily lit up his screen. “Good game today. You scored a goal for me. Good boy.” Shane shook his head, a blush creeping up to his cheeks. This is how things usually went now, Ilya and him texted like normal. It had been that way since they shared his heat together. Shane was in his own zone when he heard Drapeau coming into the locker room. 

“Not even a shocker we won against them. Did you know apparently Carp likes dudes? I heard a rumor he was seen kissing another dude. Not even shocked he takes it up the ass,” Drapeau laughed. 

Shane looked up at that, he didn’t say anything, he just sat there and watched. He’s sure his team has said things along the lines of this before, but he was usually good at tuning things out. He never allowed himself to get involved in this kind of smack talk in the locker room. This time it was different though, it was the first time since he’d been with Ilya hearing them say stuff like this. 

Mitty met Drapeau where he was standing and highfived him, “Ayo, there’s a picture? You’ve seen it?” 

“Nah man, but that’s what everyone is saying. Who would make something up like that? I wouldn’t want people to be calling me a boy kisser,” Drapeau said.

“Who’s a boy kisser?” Comeau asked as he stepped out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around his waist. 

“Carp, the captain from Florida. I don’t even understand how they take him seriously or listen to him. I wouldn’t listen to a fag,” Drapeau shrugged, walking away from the conversation.

None of them noticed Shane staring, which he was thankful for, but he felt Hayden approaching him and a hand on his shoulder. 

“You alright?” Hayden whispered so that only Shane could hear.

“Yeah. Just tired. Ready to go back to the hotel,” Shane shrugged it off

Shane hunched over on the table, removing his hand from Ilya’s thigh to tug on the bottom of his shorts. He almost found himself picking at his fingers but remembered the conversation he had with Ilya only days later. 

“Shane?” Yuna asked, her eyes directed to Ilya and then shooting back over to Shane. 

He just shook his head, not looking up from the table, or making any noise at all. 

“Shane?” Ilya asked, moving his hand to the back of Shane’s neck, rubbing it slightly, moving his wrist to land directly on Shane’s scent gland. Hoping that using his own scent might help Shane calm down so they could at least try and understand what was happening in his head. 

There was a brief pause, but Shane felt himself relax into Ilya’s touch, he looked up but only made eye contact with him. There were tears welling up in his eyes, he could feel his eyelashes wetting his more each time he blinked.

“Malysh, what’s going on?” Ilya asked.

“I—I’ll never be able to tell any of my friends about you. About me. About being gay. I can’t tell them,” Shane choked out.

“Who? Montreal?” Ilya asked, he was confused who Shane was referring to.

“Yeah, they are homophobic. I’ve heard more than I would like to in that locker room,” Shane confessed, this was the first time he told anyone about anything like this.

“Not to you though? Right?” Ilya tried to keep his voice as steady as possible to not alarm anyone in the room but Shane could hear the strain in his voice.

“No. No. Not to me. They’ve never said anything like that to me,” Which wasn’t the complete truth, but it wasn’t a full lie. Shane has received microaggressions, it’s been like that since he joined the NHL. But he liked to believe they didn’t mean to come off that way and they didn’t know any better.

“We will be friends, we will run the foundation and you will be safe. No one will think anything more,” Ilya said. 

“Well about that,” Yuna started, “I don’t want to add more fuel to the fire here, since this is a serious conversation but there is a picture circulating,” 

“What?” Shane asked, looking up towards Yuna.

“It’s blurry, no one can even tell it’s you, but it has caused some fan speculation on the internet,” Yuna said. “I really don't think you have anything to worry about, but maybe don’t hold hands in such a public space where people can take pictures?” Yuna chuckled softly

“Ah. I see,” Ilya chuckled.

“I’m confused, what picture?” Shane asked.

“I think she means when you were being extra needy at the Stanley cup,” Ilya laughed. 

“Oh god. Wait, people saw that?” Shane said, with a glimmer of panic in his voice. 

Ilya wasted no time pulling up twitter, he looked like he understood the app way too much for today to be his first time on the app. “Ah. I see on my timeline,” Ilya said. 

“On your timeline? How did it get on there,” Shane asked.
“A man never tells his secrets,” Ilya shrugged, as he tapped away on his phone.

“Ilya. What are you doing?” Shane squeaked out, his eyes so wide they looked like they could pop out of his head any second.

“Is nothing. I just tweeted,” Ilya responded like it was no big deal. 

“You tweeted?” Shane started, looking over at Yuna for help. She shook her head, which meant Shane was on his own here. “I didn’t get anything,” 

“Ah. So you have my twitter notifications on,” Ilya winked.

“Ilya. That’s not the point,” Shane huffed out. “You didn’t tweet because I would’ve gotten a notification on my phone,” He waved his phone around. 

“My secret account, that you or no one does not know,” Ilya laughed.

“Now I’m interjecting. Ilya, what do you mean by secret account?” Yuna asked.

“Is no big deal! I just tweet about Shane’s ass!” Ilya says in defense, though by the look on both of Yuna and Shane’s face, it didn’t help his case much.

“Ilya. What?” Shane asked, he wanted to make sure he heard his boyfriend correctly. 

“I’m with Shane on this one kid, what?” Yuna repeated after Shane as Ilya looked at her for help. 

“No one even knows it’s me! I do not even show my name or face,” Ilya protested. “Here. I will show you,” He handed his phone over to Shane. 

The page tab was open on Ilya’s phone, it was an account that had a picture of Shane as the profile picture and maybe about 2 thousand tweets. He stared at the page, taking in exactly what was happening here. The profile read as “Shane Hollander is my wife.” The username being ‘shanesalpha81’ and while doing a quick scroll through the account he saw that most of the tweets were about him, specifically his ass. Exactly as Ilya said it would be, there also was no telling signs it was Ilya, besides the last tweet being about hating Hayden. But Shane assumed most of the public wouldn’t know that. 

“Ilya,” Shane sighed, handing him the phone back. He saw enough of what he needed to see.

“Yes?” Ilya raised an eyebrow and he grabbed the phone back from Shane.

“As much as I love that you’re this crazy and this obsessed with me, you have to delete the account.” Shane said. 

“But—” Ilya started to say but Shane shushed him.

“If you want to tweet unhinged things, at least do it on private. So the whole world doesn’t see and speculate,” Shane tried to reason with him.

“But millions of people have Shane Hollander fan accounts,” Ilya huffed.\

“Millions of people aren’t Ilya Rozanov,” Shane barked back at him, it came out more aggressive than he would’ve liked. “Sorry— I didn’t mean to snap like that. I just don’t want to lose this or ruin this with you,” Shane caught himself.

“Nothing will ruin this for us, malysh,” Ilya placed his hand over his thigh, “But if it will make you feel better I will delete the account and make private one just for me and you,” Ilya clicked a couple buttons on his phone and the account was gone. 

“I’ll be damned, that didn’t take much of anything,” Yuna chuckled, “I’ve always heard from the people you’ve worked with in the past that sometimes you can not be the greatest at listening.”

“It is true. I am not a great listener,” Ilya admits, “But I would do anything for Shane, even if that means deleting account where I talk about how much I love him,” Ilya said it like it was no big deal, like it was the easiest decision in the world. 

“How about Ilya and I head into the kitchen and start cleaning up, we all seem to be done eating?” David interrupted. “Give you and mom some time to talk,” David whispered into Shane’s ear as he stepped into Shane’s space and grabbed his plate from the table.

Ilya took the hint and grabbed the plate that had some leftover chicken and pasta on it, he would tuck it away in the fridge so they could heat it up for left overs.

Yuna and Shane sat at the table across from each other, Shane was twiddling his fingers under the table waiting to see if she spoke first. She did, just like he assumed she would.
“You two bonded,” Yuna stated, it wasn’t a question. They had both put on scent patches before his parents got here, Shane wasn’t ready to explain to his parents that part of it yet. He knew he had too and was going too, but he just wanted to get through dinner first. It also made Ilya less anxious to know they had covered it. 

“How do you know?” Shane asked, his eyes widening. The whole scent patch to block people from knowing was a part of their plan, if that didn’t work, Shane had no clue what they would even do anymore.

“Shane, I can feel you freaking out from here,” Yuna reached her arm across the table, Shane lifted one of his hands to meet her hand. “I know because I’m your mother, because you spent 9 months inside of me. I know because you walk that boy like a dog, he didn’t even argue with you once. He heard you and listened,”

“Oh,” Shane replied, his cheeks flushing a bright shade of red. 

“You left this part out of your plan, you were very thorough otherwise,” Yuna chuckled.

“Yeah,” Shane started, “Ilya has been really stressed about this, even more stressed than I normally am. So I decided we’d wait some more time to tell you,” Shane chuckled. “I don’t think that worked very well though, as you seemed to have figured it all out,” 

“Oh that poor boy is stressed over nothing, if you love him, there must be good reasoning. We approve already,” Yuna laughed.

“I told him that, but you know, he isn’t always the best at listening,” Shane joked.

“So is this a part of the plan? Wearing the scent patches over your bond marks?” Yuna asked.

“Yeah. I think so. Neither of us are ready to come out yet. We want to in our own time, we just want some time to have this to ourselves first,” Shane answered truthfully. They did want to come out, they knew what would be at stake if they did, but they weren’t rookies anymore. They aren’t just new players who the NHL can just throw to the side, they were too valuable for that. But having time for themselves and taking time to enjoy their privacy before they started anything public was important to them.

“Well I think that’s a great idea, and I’m here to support whatever you two need,” Yuna wrapped her fingers around Shane’s hand, giving it a light squeeze.

“He’s going to need help adjusting to Ottawa, once he moves there. He’s going to say he doesn’t but he will,” Shane whispered this part, he didn’t want to risk Ilya hearing from the other room. Ilya had spent the last couple of days roaming the internet for housing listings, there were a few he liked. He’d tour them alone, as much as Shane wanted to be there, they couldn’t risk it. But Ilya insisted that he’d take pictures to make sure the house was perfect for Shane too. The goal after all was that this would be their home together one day. “I hate that I can’t be there with him. I hate that he’s going to be adjusting all alone,” 

Your dad and I will make sure we go and spend time with him, he can even come have dinner with us on Fridays, you know Obaa always made it a big deal for family to have dinner together on Fridays,” Yuna laughed.

2006

Shane was in the kitchen with his Obaa, it was a Friday, she was already there when he arrived home from school. Shane could smell his favorite food the second he had walked through the door. Nabeyaki udon. His comfort food. It was a mix of udon noodles, cooked in dashi broth— it can usually be cooked as a stand alone, some vegetables thrown in there but she always made sure to add chicken in his. He was having a particular hard day at school today, it was hard feeling alone all the time. Most of the time he was okay with it, but days like today he craved some sort of human contact, even if it just meant talking to his Obaa in his kitchen.

“Shankun, what’s wrong?” She asked, the backs of her fingers running over Shane’s cheek.

“Just having a bad day, Obaa. I’m okay,” Shane responded, leaning into her touch. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” She turned her body so she was completely facing Shane.

“I’m just an outsider at school, I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes I wish I was different, I wish I could be normal,” Shane sighed. 

“Oh my sweet boy, you are normal. Why do you feel like you aren’t?” She asked.

“I just don’t feel it. I’m not like the other boys in school,” Shane admitted, it was the first time he’s ever said it out loud. It was always looming in the back of his head that he was different but he refused to acknowledge it. 

“You are perfect the way you are, Shankan. You don’t need to be like anyone else. You just have to be you,” She spoke softly. “You will find someone who will love you for you. It is important that you let them. No matter who it is,” 

“I love you, Obaa,” Shane had tears welling up in his eyes. This was not how he planned on spending his Friday night. 

“I will always love you no matter what, Shankun” She kissed the top of Shane’s head.

“I miss her,” Shane said. 

“I know you do. She loved you so much,” Yuna responded.

David and Ilya walked back into the dining area when Yuna was pulling her hand away, Shane saw his dad shoot a small smile and nod towards Yuna. He wasn’t exactly sure why they were having a silent conversation but Shane gave up a long time ago on why his parents did a lot of things.

“How about we all go spend some time outside, you still have the projector and the white sheet we gave you?” David asked. 

That perked Ilya’s interest. “Projector? I’m not sure I know that word,” 

“It’s something you can watch movies or shows on, we used to play movies on it for Shane all the time as a child. He liked watching it on a big screen and pretending he was in a movie theatre,” David laughed.

“Ah. Baby Shane was very cute I see,” Ilya walked behind Shane, his arms wrapping around his shoulders and using his hands to pet Shane’s hair. 

Shane leaned back into the touch, allowing himself to fall into Ilya’s arms. 

“I can set it up for you boys and then Yuna and I can head out,” David started, “Shane is it still in the guest closet?” 

“Yeah. But you guys don’t have to leave,” Shane looked down to check his watch, it was already almost 8, he didn’t realize how fast time was moving. 

“Your mother and I have plans in the morning, by the time I set this up, it’ll be almost time for our bedtime,” David’s voice was getting further away as he headed towards the guest room. 

“What are you and dad doing tomorrow morning?” Shane whispered to Yuna.

“Just breakfast with some friends, he’s being dramatic,” Yuna laughed.

It was the perfect night for this though, it was hot here in the summers, sometimes it stayed like that overnight. Other times, like tonight for example, the heat would settle down, it wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t disgustingly hot. They could sit outside and enjoy a movie together and not worry about being all sticky and gross afterwards. He could see Ilya and his mom talking and laughing, he loved this. He loved that after one single time of meeting his mom they were already best friends. 

David made it back in record timing, coaxing everyone gently out of the house. Yuna and Ilya were deep in their conversation, Shane couldn’t hear what they were saying, but honestly he didn’t even care to listen. He was just enjoying seeing Ilya feel more relaxed and comfortable. 

“What movie are you boys going to watch?” David asked, popping open the DVD insert. “Oh! Ice Age is in here. Shane, you loved that movie!” David chuckled.

Shane did love that movie, he’s probably watched it hundreds of times. It’s not his fault when he starts to like something that’s all he wants to do. 

“Ice Age?” Ilya asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Yuna chuckled, “The movie with the mammoth and the sloth.”

“I still have not heard of this movie,” Ilya responded. 

“Well you guys have to watch it now!” David said, not giving them a choice, “I’ll pop it in for you guys and then give you the remote!” David did as so, 

“You boys have fun,” Yuna winked, standing up and heading over to David. 

Yuna came over to Shane and kissed him on the head, Ilya was following behind her,  "Don' t forget how to use a phone, I always exchanged numbers with Ilya.”

“I won’t, mom,” Shane chuckled, feeling Ilya’s warm presence next to him. 

“Don’t worry about getting up, we’ll use our key to lock the door,” Yuna started. “Ilya it was so nice to meet you,” She ran her fingers through his hair. 

“Likewise. Thank you for being understanding,” Ilya smiled up at her. 

Yuna and David let themselves out, making sure to lock the front door behind them. It was just Shane and Ilya now, Shane allowed himself to fall into Ilya’s chest. 

“It wasn’t so bad, right?” Shane asked. He wanted to make sure Ilya wasn’t panicking anymore. 

“It was perfect. Yuna loves me most. I am her favorite son,” Ilya smirked, and winked at Shane. 

“Ilya.” Shane warned. 

“What? Is true,” Ilya shrugged. 

“Well I’m glad you're feeling better now,” Shane responded. He could deal with Ilya’s banter, as long as he was okay. 

“It was not as scary as I thought it would be. Maybe I was being dramatic,” Ilya admitted. 

“Oh so you admit that you can be dramatic,” Shane laughed.

“Ah yes malysh, but only when it comes to you,” Ilya started. “Now let’s watch movie with furry animals that talk,” 

“Oh my god Ilya,” Shane rolled his eyes. He grabbed the remote and pressed play.

Ilya asked about 100 questions throughout the whole movie, normally Shane would be annoyed, but with Ilya he couldn’t. It was so soft and genuine, he was actually curious about what was going on. Even if Shane didn’t have all the answers, (which he didn’t.) Ilya had decided that Sid the Sloth was his favorite, and that all the snow and ice in the movie reminds him of the ice rink. He just prays Scrat doesn’t come and ruin their ice rink while playing hockey. Shane barked out a laugh at that joke. 

It felt like the movie flew by, they were already at the end credits and Ilya was begging for more. They decided they had to watch the rest of the movies that were out tomorrow. No questions asked. 

But Shane also had something else he needed to do tomorrow, which in retrospect was a relatively easy task. He needed to go to the store. The reasoning why he needed to go to the store was something that would be a tad bit more difficult to talk about. 

Ice Age was something he and his Obaa watched all the time, she knew it was his comfort movie. This was the first time he watched the movie since he passed, it’s been years, but he played hockey professionally now and traveled. There wasn’t much time to just pop in a DVD and watch a movie when you're constantly moving.

This and his conversation with his mom sparked a lot of thoughts about her, a lot of memories. Memories he wanted to be brave and share for once. 

Shane took a deep breath, and told himself “It’s Ilya, he’s safe. You’re safe,” and started talking.

“I need to go to the store tomorrow,” Shane said, while his head was laid on Ilya’s chest. 

“Okay malysh, for what? You just went shopping,” Ilya asked, confused.

“I want to get stuff to make the comfort food my Obaa used to make for me,” Shane whispered, his head turning to press a kiss to Ilya’s chest.

“Obaa? I do not think I know this word,” Ilya responded.

“My grandma,” Shane answered. “She used to make me this dish whenever I was sad. She could always tell,” Shane laughed. She always knew. Shane wasn’t a good liar then either, but even if he did try too, nothing ever went past her.

“You will go tomorrow then, you can cook for us. I would love to try it,” Ilya answered, kissing Shane on the forehead. 

“She would’ve loved you. I know it,” Shane sighed, he could feel tears starting to well up in his eyes. “You know she told me something the day she passed. I’ve never told anyone this before,” 

“And you are okay telling me it?” Ilya asked. Shane knew he was just making sure. Ilya was always so good at that, making sure Shane felt safe and comfortable. 

“I’m okay with telling you anything,” Shane confessed. It was true, there was nothing he didn’t feel comfortable telling Ilya anymore. “I didn’t know it at the time. That I was gay— I mean, I knew I didn’t like girls the way other boys my age did. But I had never kissed a boy— well you know— until you. But she knew. I don’t know how she knew, but she did.” Shane swallowed, he could feel his throat starting to dry up, the way it did when he knew he was going to cry.

“I visited her the day she died, she told mom she wanted to see me. I had just saw her the day prior, we all thought she had more time,” Shane felt tears pricking through his eyelashes. 

Ilya wrapped his arms around Shane tighter, using one hand to pet his hair. He didn’t say anything, he just sat there and comforted him while listening to him. Allowing Shane to take as much time as he needed to say the story he was telling.

“She was so happy to see me, I said to her “Obaa, you just saw me yesterday!” I was 16 at the time, probably a lot more dorky than I am now,” Shane laughed. “She said “Shankun, come sit with your Obaa,” Of course I did,” 

Ilya raised his eyebrow at that, yet he still didn’t say anything, even if he was confused on what was being said. 

“Shankun was what she used to call me, only ever her. It was her special nickname for me, mom wasn’t even allowed to call me that,” Shane continued.

Ilya nodded softly, understanding what he was confused about now. 

“So I sat with her. She was so full of life still, you’d never assume she was sick and dying, she had a smile on her face through it all,” Shane smiled softly at the thought, “She grabbed my hand. I don’t even know what I expected her to say, definitely not what she did though. She said “Shankun, I need you to promise me something.” I said of course Obaa. But what?” His eyes fluttered closed for a second. 

“Take your time malysh,” Ilya spoke, for the first time since Shane started talking. 

Shane took a deep breath, “She said, “Shankun, I need you to promise me you’ll find a nice boy, one that will treat you right.” I was so scared at first, I had no idea how she even knew, at that point I didn’t even know.” Shane reached for Ilya’s hand that was wrapped around his shoulder, tangling their fingers together. “I think she knew how scared I was. She said to me “There’s nothing to be scared or ashamed of. I love you. I will always love you. I need you to promise me you’ll find a nice boy who will take care of you and love you as much as I do,” 

Ilya squeezed Shane’s hand softly, Shane returned it back. It was a silent, “Thank you for being patient with me.” 

“I told her okay, she was not the kind of woman you wanted to argue with, unless you wanted to lose,” Shane laughed, she was a stubborn lady, but she meant well every time. “And we sat there in silence and she held me for a little while, and then it was time for me to go home. She passed that night. I held onto what she said to me for 2 years, it was confusing, I didn’t understand it,” Shane stopped for a moment, and repositioned himself. He sat up, propping himself next to Ilya, so he could look him in the eyes for this next part. “And then I met you, and it all made sense. “Find a nice boy who will treat you right and love you as much as I do,” And it was you, even from the beginning,”

Ilya had tears welling up in his eyes, he leaned his forehead against Shane so they were close. Shane could feel Shane’s breath on his skin. 

“I think it took my brain a second to understand it, but my body knew. My heart knew. You’re the nice boy she told me to find, that would love me,” Shane was sobbing now, he had tears running down his cheeks, he was blinking to try and keep them away but they just kept coming. 

“I love you,” Ilya said, before pressing their lips together in a kiss. It was soft, and slow. There was wetness from both of their tears as they kissed. “Thank you for sharing that with me,” Ilya mumbled into the kiss. 

“Thank you for being the nice boy who loves me,” Shane whispered back, allowing himself to fall on top of Ilya. 

“Is this stuff safe to stay out here over night?” Ilya asked, holding Shane close.

“It’s just a white sheet, just the projector really should come inside,” Shane said. 

Ilya picked up Shane, then went over to the projector and unplugged it, grabbing that in his arms too. He walked into the cottage, dropping the projector onto the table, locked the backdoor behind them and carried Shane into the bedroom. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

“Shane, your phone is ringing!” Ilya called out, Shane had ran to the bathroom quickly and left his phone in the living room with Ilya. 

“Pick it up!” Shane responded, he knew whoever was calling would either be his mom or his dad, or maybe even Hayden. And all three of those people know about Ilya and him so he didn’t care. 

When Shane walked back into the living room, Ilya was chatting away on the phone, he mouthed to him “Who is it?” 

“It is Ms.Pike,” Ilya said, “I am putting you on speaker phone, Shane just got back,”Ilya clicked the button to switch it over to the speaker.

“Hi Shane! How are you doing?” Jackie's voice came through his phone.

“Oh! Hi Jackie! I’m good?” Shane said but it came out more like a question, he was confused why Jackie was calling him. Him and Hayden were close friends— best friends, his kids called Shane, “Uncle Shane,” but Jackie didn’t call his phone unless she needed something important. Or Hayden wasn’t answering his phone when they were together. 

“I wanted to call, and invite you guys over to dinner. Hayden told me about the incident. I also want to apologize for my husband, as I told him not to go over there without talking to you first,” Jackie said, but they could hear Hayden yelling in the background “Jackie! What are you saying to them?” 

“Oh—I mean—” Shane started, but Ilya interrupted him this time. 

“Yes. Thank you Ms.Pike. We will be there,” Ilya said. 

“Ilya, I told you it’s okay to call me Jackie,” She chuckled. “Plus the kids miss their Uncle Shane,” 

“Oh, I will meet the Pike children?” Ilya asked. 

“If that’s okay with you guys,” Jackie said. 

“It is more than okay,” Ilya responded before Shane even had a chance to say anything.

“How does Friday work for you guys?” Jackie asked, they could hear Hayden going on about something in the background but Jackie paid no mind to what he was saying.

“Friday is okay,” Shane was the one to answer this time, “Should—Should we bring anything?” Shane asked. 

“Just yourselves!” Jackie said, “We will see you then! Bye Shane! Ilya, it was so nice to finally talk to you!” 

There was a click to the phone, and Ilya was putting the phone down on the couch next to him. 

“I did not know it was going to be Ms.Pike— Jackie. It was Hayden’s name on the caller ID,” Ilya started. “Are you angry?” 

“Ilya. No. I told you to answer the phone, that wouldn’t be fair. I just didn’t think we’d be invited to another dinner this soon. I know Hayden said it, but part of me didn’t think he was being fully serious,” Shane said.

“You are scared?” Ilya asked. 

“I mean. Maybe. A little? I know he knows and already caught us, but he’s my best friend. You know? I want you two to get along,” Shane said. He wasn’t so worried about Ilya, if he was honest, but Hayden has made it clear he thinks Ilya is a player. Shane has heard his locker room talk about him. But that’s not the Ilya that Shane knows. That’s not who he is with Shane, he just wished people knew Ilya the way he did. The way he saw him. 

“Shane, I can feel you thinking from all the way over here, what else is going on?” Ilya asked. 

“I just wish people could see you the way I see you. You’re not this person people think you are. Sure you play hard on the ice, but that’s not you,” Shane said. 

“Malysh, that is for me and you. Who cares what anyone else thinks? I care what you think,” Ilya ran his thumb over Shane’s freckles. “I will play nice with Hayden though. I will be on my very best behavior,” 

“You promise?” Shane mumbled, laying his head on Ilya’s shoulder. 

“Of course,” Ilya reassured Shane. 

♡ ‪💛🏒💙 ♡

Friday came faster than expected, Shane noticed how time was starting to fly and their time at the cottage for the summer would be dwindling down. He didn’t know how to feel about that, there was still another season in between when Ilya was going to be moving to Ottawa to be closer with Shane. They’d have to figure out how to make the distance between Boston and Montreal work for the first time as actual boyfriends. Shane didn’t want to sound needy, but he knew he was, there was not denying it. He’d have to think about this later, he needed to think about and focus on dinner with Hayden and Jackie today. 

“Are you okay?” Ilya walked over to Shane, who was standing in the kitchen with the fridge door open, staring into the refrigerator. 

“Yeah. Fuck. Sorry. I’ll— sorry. I’ll close it,” Shane mumbled.

Ilya put his hand in between the door so when Shane closed it, there was a buffer and he wasn’t able to completely shut it. 

“No. What’s going on? Why are you staring into the fridge?” Ilya asked. 

“I just feel weird going empty handed. Even though Jackie said not to bring anything, it still feels wrong,” Shane sighed. “I was staring hoping something would pop out and I’d be able to just say we could bring that. But there is actually nothing,”

“Ah. Ilya started, allowing the door to close now. “Do you always bring something when you are invited to their house?” Ilya asked.

“Well, no,” Shane answered truthfully. He never usually brought anything, he never needed too. Jackie was always on par with exactly what he needed and was super accommodating about it.

“So why do you need to bring something this time?” Ilya asked.

The real answer is, Shane didn’t know why, his nerves were just shaking at his brain and making him over think and mostly question everything. 

“I just don’t want them to hate me, or think I’m a bad friend,” Shane quietly said. 

“Why would they think that? Because you are gay? Because you are with Ilya Rozanov, the best hockey player in the league?" Ilya smirked on the last part of the sentence.

“You’re such an asshole,” Shane smiled, pushing his chest lightly. “I just lied to them for years. I’ve lied to everyone,” 

“Shane,” Ilya said. “Shane. Look at me,” This one came off more demanding, he wasn’t asking Shane to do something, he was telling him to. Shane looked up at Ilya, his golden brown eyes meeting Ilya’s hazel eyes. 

“Do we all walk around introducing ourselves as gay or straight or bisexual to people?” Ilya asked. 

“No,” Shane responded. 

“So even if you were straight, would you walk around saying to people “My name is Shane Hollander and I am straight?” Ilya asked, again. 

“Well when you say it like that, no. It sounds ridiculous,” Shane said. 

“So why would you be lying to them then, sweetheart? You are still same Shane Hollander they knew before. You just happen to like boys and not girls,” Ilya said, like it was simple. Because maybe it really was that simple. Maybe Shane was thinking deeper into it than he needed to be.  

“You always know exactly what to say,” Shane said, wrapping his arms around Ilya’s neck, “What am I going to do when you’re all the way in Boston?” Shane mumbled into Ilya’s shoulder hoping that he wouldn’t hear him. 

“We still have a few weeks left, malysh. We will go to your friend's house and if you want to talk about making one of your plans afterwards we can,” Ilya said. “But we are going to be running late if we don’t start leaving now,” 

“Am I driving or you?” Shane asked, grabbing the keys from the middle console.

“Is your car not mine,” Ilya shrugged.

“Okay? And?” Shane said, heading to the door. 

“I’ll drive then, printsessa,” Ilya chased after Shane, grabbing the keys out of his hands.

“Princcess? Really?” Shane crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Yes. You are one. Making Daddy drive you around when it’s your own car,” Ilya teased. They played around with using different names in bed, Ilya had teased he’s “Daddy” which Ilya loved. Shane wasn’t so sure about it though. He didn’t mind “Sir” so much but Daddy didn’t just roll off the tongue as easily. He never said no to trying new things though. 

“Daddy? Really Ilya?” Shane groaned. 

“Yes. Really.” Ilya smirked, smacking Shane’s ass before walking in front of him, holding the door open so Shane could come out. 

Shane opened up the keypad, typing in the code to lock the door, and followed Ilya to the car. He wanted to say he regretted his decision letting Ilya drive the car but watching the way his hand gripped the wheel chased any of those thoughts away.

The drive to Hayden’s wasn’t too long, about two hours away from the cottage. Which really wasn’t short, but in comparison to Boston and Montreal, two hours seemed like nothing. 

When they pulled up to Hayden’s, Jade and Ruby stood outside the front door, they were waiting and pointing to the car. 

“What do you think Hayden told them?” Ilya chuckled.

“Honestly? I have no clue,” Shane said back, putting the car in park.

“You ready?” Ilya asked. 

“It’ll be okay,” Shane said, for himself mostly. He knew that Ilya thought everything would be fine, but he needed to say this for himself, to help soothe his own nerves. 

They both got out of the car, when Ilya reached Shane’s side, he reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers. It didn’t last very long, because Ruby and Jade were both running up to Shane yelling “Uncle Shane!” 

Ilya chuckled, letting go of Shane’s hand, letting him greet the girls. 

“Is that your husband?” Ruby asked, when Shane scooped her up and kissed her on the cheek. 

“Who? Him?” Shane teased, looking over at Ilya. 

Ruby giggled, “Yes! Him!” 

Shane could see the grin on Ilya’s face, it was so wide it looked like his face was almost going to split in half. Jade barely even knew Ilya and he already had her in his arms tossing her around like he'd been in their life forever. Jade’s laughter was so loud that Shane was pretty sure the whole neighborhood could see it. This was his Ilya. This was his future. This was happiness. Shane suddenly couldn’t remember why he was nervous in the first place. This was everything and more. He didn’t know how everything would work, or how things would end up. They had a plan, it was a good plan. One that Shane thought out on his own. 

He loves his friends, and his team, but he loves Ilya too. And if being in love and being gay was a crime, you’ll have to lock him up, because that was never going to change. He would never change the way he felt for Ilya. Being in love and being afraid of the outcome didn’t make him a bad friend, he didn’t owe anyone an explanation, his job is in a world where being gay isn’t normalized. He’s allowed to be afraid, he’s allowed to worry for his career and be worried if this could change everything. And he was, that was a fear that lived in the back of his mind, he thought about it every waking moment. But right here, Ruby in his arms, and Jade in Ilya’s, he realized that maybe he shouldn’t be afraid. 

It’s simple actually, he will go inside and he will have dinner with his friend, they will talk and laugh and have a good time. And he won’t be afraid of disappointing anyone, or not being a good enough friend, because he is a good friend. 

Ilya is a kind man with a good heart, it’s why Shane fell in love with him. 

“What?” Ilya looked over at Shane, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Nothing. I’m just happy we came,” Shane smiled. He went for the easier route of that conversation for now since Ruby and Jade are still here. 

So for today, he will keep it simple. But tomorrow— tomorrow he will tell Ilya to screw the plan they had, and come up with something new. Because Shane doesn’t want to wait any longer. He should be able to love Ilya loudly and proudly. Because hearing Ruby call Ilya his husband made him realize how badly he wanted that. 

“Let’s head inside, okay?” Shane said, walking towards the front door. Ruby and Jade both wiggling their way out of each of their arms, running to the door, giggling and screaming with laughter.

Ilya paused, only briefly. “You are okay?” 

“I’m okay,” Shane nodded, “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”