Chapter Text
The Florida orange from a Florida Publix from Florida is … normal. I mean, it doesn’t taste bad — for the record, it tastes good — but it’s just like an orange you’d find anywhere else.
“Told ya!” says his new roommate Suga, who has lived in Florida for the past two years. “This is the effects of consumerism, supply chain, and late-stage capitalism. Y’know, actually, the Florida orange industry is declining —" Suga keeps dropping buzzwords and names of tree diseases, and when he finishes, uses his right hand to slap Asahi square between the shoulder blades, and Asahi nearly chokes on his orange slice.
Besides the occasional friendly punch or slap, Suga is nice to be around. They’re renting in a residential neighborhood, farther out from the town’s center, and Asahi was fully expecting to be roommates with real adults.
However his roommates, Suga and Daichi, were like him, students at the local university. Suga is studying biology and education, Daichi sports science, and Asahi is completing his graphic design internship.
Despite the three of them not knowing each other beforehand, they get along decently (though it’s mainly Asahi and Suga who hang in the living room the most) and mind their own business.
Living further is cheaper, and Asahi’s room is much bigger than it would have been if he had lived in an apartment. He does share a bathroom with Daichi, but the small balcony in his bedroom makes up for it. Because he only has to come into the office three days of the week, travelling wasn’t too bad either.
He’s in the kitchen, washing the Florida juice from the Florida orange off his hands, watching Suga mindlessly scroll on his phone at the kitchen island, when he sees movement from the corner of his eye, on the very top of the living room wall. The movement halts, and —
It’s the biggest fucking roach Asahi has ever seen.
Asahi stops what he’s doing, and just stares with chills running down his spine. It's far away from him but its body has to be as long as his pointer finger, and he feels the hair in his neck prickle up.
Suga notices Asahi’s lack of motion and follows his gaze. “Holy shit.” He grabs his phone, stands up, and joins Asahi on the other side of the kitchen, creating distance from himself and the bug.
“Go, Asahi! Do something!” Suga urges.
“M-me? You’re the one that’s been in Florida for longe—“ The roach starts crawling again, in a straight line, across the wall. It stops. Even from a distance, Asahi can see its antennae wave around. They’re the same length as its body. Asahi feels lightheaded.
The two roommates are silent, their gazes focused. Asahi wants to look away, but he also doesn’t want to lose sight of the monster, which would be arguably worse.
Suga is the first one to talk again. “I’m gonna call Daichi.” They’re both too fucking scared to move, and Asahi holds his breath as Suga looks for Daichi’s contact on his phone.
Daichi was the last of the three to move in, and he’s pretty reserved. He makes occasional conversation with Asahi and Suga, is always going to his classes or the gym, cleans up after himself, and is mostly in his room.
Right now, Daichi is not just a chill, mysterious roommate. He’s their lifeline.
When they hear Daichi’s phone ring from his bedroom, Suga and Asahi share a look of relief. Daichi will save them. He does his chores. He’s dependable. He goes to the gym. He’s built like a tank. He’s from Florida. He’s probably used to this stuff. He will rescue them, surely. Suga puts his phone on speaker.
“Hello?”
“Hey, um, can you come out for a sec?” Suga responds, “We’re having a … roommate meeting.”
Hiding the problem. It’s really clever, Asahi thinks. He wouldn’t have gone out of his room at all if he had known it was a bug. It’s also kind of misleading, so it’s pretty evil. They hear a door open in the hallway, footsteps down the stairs, and Daichi is finally, finally here.
“What’s up?”
“Can you take care of that?” Suga says casually, and points to the cockroach, which hasn’t moved from earlier.
“Oh. Yeah, can I use this?” He grabs Asahi’s spare notebook which is on the kitchen counter, the one that he writes his grocery lists in, and Asahi nods, because, its okay, he needs a better system to organize his grocery list anyway, and his notebook is a small sacrifice for not having to deal with…that.
Daichi walks towards the giant roach, notebook raised, and it’s starting to crawl again, and Daichi is now slowly inching along, following it. Asahi’s skin prickles, and he’s so nervous even though he’s not even the one tasked with killing it, and he thinks that they need to actually have a roommate meeting to talk about buying bug spray, or roach bait, or —
Smack!
Daichi slams the notebook down on the wall, and the sound of it makes Asahi yelp and Suga jump. He’s holding the book with one hand, pressing down on the center with the palm of his other, and Asahi hears a very faint, very disturbing, crunch.
Daichi waits a few seconds, and finally removes the notebook. The roach is still on the wall for a brief moment, and its antennae fall unceremoniously to the floor first, and then its body follows. It’s a repulsive sight.
Daichi looks back at them, and Asahi feels a mix of horror, fear, and admiration. Wow, Asahi thinks, Floridians are just built differently.
Suga claps his hands together and smiles. “And that concludes our roommate meeting! You’re amazing, Daichi. Asahi, you’ll clean it up, right?”
“I — uh —“
“It’s okay, I got it.”
Asahi almost cries tears of relief. His new roommate Daichi is so, so, so chivalrous. He leans over and uses the notebook to scoop up the disfigured corpse, and Asahi doesn’t know why, maybe it’s just morbid curiosity, maybe he just wants to see his defeated enemy, but he walks to Daichi, who is now using a Kleenex to pick up the dropped antennae.
The antennae are surprisingly brittle — one of them snaps in half, much to his disgust. He looks at the crushed body and it makes Asahi want to throw up or jump out of his skin, maybe both at the same time. He looks at Daichi, who has had no reaction this entire time, and thanks him.
“Oh, it’s no problem at all,” Daichi says (chivalrously).
Daichi is amazing, and he’s heading towards the kitchen trash can to throw it out.
“No no no,” interrupts Suga, making a big X with his arms, “please do not taint our trash can. Throw it outside or something!”
Asahi sees the edges of Daichi’s lips curl up, and Daichi lunges towards Suga, holding out the notebook with the dead cockroach balanced on top, and Suga screeches.
Okay, so maybe chivalry has its limits.