Chapter Text
Annie’s POV
It’s been years. You sit on the porch and you can’t even wrap your head around the fact that it’s been years. When you were eleven Sarah Miller, who had been your best friend since out of the womb, had moved away. Her mother passed away and Joel couldn’t handle being in the same town any longer.
So they packed up and moved to Texas. Their house was on half of the plot of land that my father owned so their house remained empty. Frozen in time like no one had left in the first place. I occasionally went over there to make sure that nothing was broken, or animals hadn't gotten in. I even made sure that the place didn't get too dirty.
When they had first left I cried for days. I would lay in Sarah’s bed crying as I missed my second family. But now they were finally coming back. The day had come. After years of letters sent back and forth, I would finally see my best friend in person. We called once a week, of course but it was never the same. We were adults now.
We would never be those same girls and it made me kind of sad as I sat on my rocking chair on the porch. I had earlier run into town to grab a few things for them as I assumed they would be tired from travelling all day and besides I'd invited them to eat dinner with us today while they settled back in.
Lost in my own thoughts I barely realize the shuffle of my parents behind me as the screen door closes shut with a snap and the small roar of the engine that pulls into the driveway. A small faded red square-body truck sits in front of our house now. A man with dark brown hair and a speckled grey beard sits in the driver's seat. A blonde blue eyed girl sat in the passenger's seat with a huge smile beaming from side to side.
She practically jumps out of the truck with a purse swung around her shoulder. She wears a white tank top with a blue lace bra peaking out the top and jean shorts that complement her strong legs. The top frames her slender figure as she practically runs towards me.
I ran out of the chair tripping over my own feet on the stairs down from the porch. I wrap my arms around her waist as she wraps hers around my neck, squeezing me as tightly as humanly possible. She grew to almost twice my height. My fathers latino genes really kicked in to make me stuck at such an inconvenient height.
“I can’t believe you're really here. Finally,” I said.
“I’ve missed you so much Val, ugh I can’t believe it either,” Sarah said.
I let go from our hug with a smile and soft tears in my eyes and that's when I notice him. Joel. He looks so handsome with his warm grey eyes that look tired and worn but happy along with his hair that forms a mess of soft curls.
The flannel hangs on body loosely but the white wife beater he wears under it hugs his chest muscles perfectly. You can see the soft outline of his abdomen with jeans are worn and scuffed from a hard day's work adorned with a pair of boots on his feet that look new in contrast to the rest of his outfit.
I quickly snap out of my daze as I hear his rugged voice. But my face feels as red as a tomato. It's just the heat I think to myself.
“Annie!” Joel said with a small smile on his face, his hands open to a hug.
I walked over to him and sunk my flushed face into his chest. It was warm and smelled like sweat mixed with his cologne and the subtle hints of his favorite cigarettes. Marlboro Reds. It still hadn't changed 10 years later. I could feel his steady breathing.
“You’re back”
“That I am, sweetheart”
I cleared my throat then let go of the hug before it got awkward.
I could hear the soft mumbled voices of my parents behind me and I realized I had just been hogging both Joel and Sarah this whole time.
They came and hugged him. In my daze I hadn't realized that Sarah was hiding someone behind her. A small girl with the cutest freckles.
She looked nothing like her. She had reddish brown hair with a low ponytail and a cowboy hat on. She had a flannel that was way too big for her and a tank top with jean shorts that reached all the way to her knees. She was sort of hiding shyly behind Sarah with her too big backpack.
“Ahh this must be Ellie” I said looking down at the girl.
A year after they had moved out to Texas a baby was left on their doorstep. A baby girl. Joel saw it as a sign and took her in immediately. He thought of her as a blessing from his late wife.
And so she became part of their family that day. Sarah would not stop talking about how she loved being an older sister. So much so that for years I begged my parents for a sibling but they never budged.
“My name is Valerie, but you can call me Val or Annie or whatever you'd like, okay?” I said.
The girl nodded and moved out from behind Sarah.
“Sarah has told me so much about you, Ellie” I said as I walked back towards the back of the truck with Ellie and Sarah close behind. I picked up the bag I assumed was Sarah’s as it was her favorite color and started walking back inside the house as my parents made friendly chatter with Joel still. At this rate they'd probably be out on the porch all night reminiscing on old stories as if they didn't text or call everyday.
Both the girls followed me up the stairs to my room. I placed the bag down near my bed. My room was big. I had light green sheets and a canopy bed framed with soft curtains on the end of it. The same curtains on my big windows. The hardwood floors were a dark brown. I have a desk in the corner in the drawer where my diary lies. The big closest in the corner holds all my clothes. Posters line my walls with my favorite artists.
“Your room looks so different now,” Sarah said looking around and lightly touching the photos on my wall and the jewelry on my desk.
“Well, I’m not 11 anymore,”
“Of course not, but I could've sworn it looked so different when we were younger”
“Anyways I figured you guys could stay here tonight while you move all your stuff in the next few days. I got a cot under my bed for you Ellie or you can sleep in my bed I really don’t mind. Or we can all squeeze in,”
“So like a sleepover?” Ellie asked.
“Yeah exactly like that, I heard that you like carrot cake, I made some earlier. It just needs frosting now and we can even bake some cookies if you'd like. Oh and dad rented movies for us”
“You guys still rent movies??” Sarah asked quite dramatically.
“Yeah…dad refuses to pay for streaming services. He still haggles with the clerk to give him the movies for even cheaper and we own a bunch so really only rent newer stuff occasionally. Anyways you know him because he loves to be frugal. Although, I did convinced him to buy steak for tonight since I know Joel loves a good steak,”
“Ahh yes I remember when he made us pick only from the dollar candy menu”
“Hey dont diss the dollar menu they still have some good choices."
"Sure but I always wanted chocolate and they never had any so I will surely stay bitter a bit longer."
"But anyways I don't really know why he worries so much. We are not poor like when we started and mom’s clinic earns a good amount on a regular basis.”
I noticed Ellie in the corner looking at my horse figurine collection. Most of them were gifts from family and friends. I mostly just loved that each one had a story to tell, because I had very much outgrown them."
“Do you like horses Ellie?”
She nods her head quickly.
“She had a foal back in Texas she was taking care of but Dad had to sell her because we just couldn’t afford another horse.” Sarah said with a slight sad tone in her voice.
I could tell from Ellie’s expression that she truly had cared for the horse and felt bad. Sarah comforted her by rubbing her hand through Ellie's hair lightly.
"I think one of our mares is pregnant, you know, maybe her foal could be yours.”
As soon as I said that, her eyes lit up.
“Really?” she said excitedly.
“Of course,” I said, nodding my head with a smile on my face. They both smiled back at me and I explained what kind of mare we had in the barn and how now that there was more of us on the ranch again we'd need a couple more horses anyways.
After that we all started walking down the stairs and back out to the porch. The parents were still deep in conversation so I cleared my throat loudly and said that we should at least move the conversation inside as the late day mosquitoes had started to bite and I'd rather not get caught out there. I was also sure that Joel, Ellie and Sarah were all tired from the day of travel.
So they agreed and walked inside. Joel immediately sank into the couch. The sweat on his forehead dripped down his face. The tiredness is more evident on the brown leather couch. My eyes meet his tired grey and I wish I could provide him some comfort from his long drive home. I divert my gaze to my father who rests in the recliner next to him and clear my throat to speak.
“I am gonna get a start on dinner if that’s alright,” I said.
“That sounds mighty fine,” replied my father.”
I make a gesture for Sarah to follow me and she does with the red haired Ellie practically attached to her hip.
“Do you wanna help me too Ellie? Do you cook often?” I asked her.
“Dad doesn’t really let me near the stove too often, but yeah I think it’s fun”
That reminds me of the burn that Sarah suffered as a young child. They had just come home from the store when Sarah started walking towards the stove and accidentally lit it. She was an absurdly tall five year old and ended up burning part of her arm.
“That's kinda my fault I guess” Sarah said laughing it off with her hand scratching her head showing off the piece of skin that left a scar.
“Well you can surely help today” I replied back with a small smile.
I help Ellie set up a pot of boiling water for the potatoes while I start prepping the steaks. I let Ellie clean the potatoes and watch them in the pot. I give the task of the asparagus to Sarah and they both work inside while I go outside to grill the steaks. I make sure to cook them all to everyone's liking and when the potatoes are finished I take them out and let Ellie do the mashing and mixing.
I finish the steaks with some butter and leave them to rest. Then I tell Ellie to come with me to set the table. Our table is a large rectangular dark oak with matching chairs with dark green placemats. We set out all six white plates and put the dishes in the middle. We call everyone to come eat and they do without a second of hesitation.
My father sits at the head of the table with my mother to his left, Joel sits beside her and at the other end sits Ellie then me and then Sarah to complete the table.
“Lets pray,” My father said before putting his hands out for Sarah and my mother to grab.
We close our eyes and he starts the prayer.
“Dear heavenly father, thank you for this blessed meal and the family we have around this table. May their stomachs stay full and their hearts content. Amen”
Amen we all say in unison.
The first few minutes at the table are met with silence and the sound of forks and knives scraping along plates. Until my mother breaks the silence.
“So Ellie, are you excited to move to a new school next year? Fifth grade is a big year!”
“Yes ma'am, I'm a little scared of starting a new school though.”
“I’m sure you'll make friends in no time, the school here is great,” I said with a reassuring smile.
She gave me a small smile and I noticed Joel looking up at me with his soft eyes and a mouth full of food. He looks soft and handsome, it makes me happy to see him eating so happily.
He clears his throat and then speaks.
“This food is amazing Annie, thank you so much”
“It's nothing really, it was simple. I'm glad. I remembered how much you loved steak. I even made daddy buy some fresh,” I said.
“It’s so good to be home,” said Joel, hugging his belly with a small chuckle.
“It's so good to have you around here,” replied my father.
After everyone is done eating their fill I get up to go clean off the table. When I get to Joel’s plate he just looks up at me. I grabbed the plate from in front of him and he grabs my wrist.
“It's alright baby girl, I'm more than capable of taking my own plate to the sink. You’ve done enough. “
My cheeks get flushed at the endearment. Only Joel ever called me baby girl but that was years ago. I’d forgotten how much I loved it. But for some reason it felt different then when I was a kid. My heart started to pump faster. My breath felt heavy like it was caught in my throat.
I look away and take the plate anyways, mumbling that I got it.
I can still feel his gaze on me as I walk away. Why was he staring at me so much. Why was he so soft and sweet about it? I wasn't a little girl anymore.
I walk partially into the dining room and ask if anyone wants dessert. A few chime in and pull out the frosted cake and a serving knife. I had already set out smaller plates on the dinner table.
I walk over with the cake. It’s a medium round carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. I made a swirl at the top and decorated it with a carrot then put some crushed nuts along the bottom with shell borders on the top and bottom.
I loved decorating my baked goods, as a kid I loved to paint so this was a given. I set it down on the table and cut Ellie the first slice. Her eyes lit up as she looked at the slice. The only word to describe how she ate the slice was devour. We all laughed a little as we watched the girl eat the slice. I placed on in front of joel and he took a bite.
He then started to eat it a little faster.
“Carrot cake is my favorite,” he said.
“I know. But don't let your head get too big, the meal might've been for you but this was all for Ellie,” I said.
“She’s gotten good at baking hasn’t she,” said my mother.
“She sure has, cookin’ too,” Joel said mid bite.
I accepted the praise with a quiet nod and hum back to my seat as I enjoy a slice of the cake too with Sarah and we make more small talk at the table.
Once everyone is done we walk over to the couch and lay down to watch a movie. Our bellies are full and happy. The room is full of laughter as we tell old stories and get to know Ellie. Eventually the movie comes to an end and Ellie is asleep in Joel's arms. Sarah stands up and grabs Ellie out of Joel's arms. My parents had already turned into bed for the night and Sarah went to put Ellie in my bed.
Now Joel and I were alone in the living room. I could feel this weird tension. I wasn't exactly super close to him. Sarah was in between us before but now that the space was empty and it felt different. I swallowed the pit in my stomach and moved a little closer.
“You’re a good father Joel. I can see the way Ellie adores you,” I said as I moved closer.
I just wanted the space between us to go away.
“Am I really? Sometimes I think I'm doing something wrong with that girl she's so different from my Sarah,” he responds.
“I think you really are. You're amazing at everything you do. Oh and I wanted to make things easier for you. So I bought you guys some food for your fridge. I figured you wouldn’t want to go grocery shopping when you’re just getting settled in. I've made sure to keep the house clean and I've been preparing the guest bedroom for Ellie,” I said as I felt him looking at me more intensely then before.
“Were you always this beautiful? Joel asked in a daze.
He seemed so out of it. His hand reached up to your face and cradled it, lightly rubbing his thumb across your warm cheek. His eyes were soft and warm. It felt so loving and sweet and I leaned into his touch. I place my hand on top of his, lightly grazing my hands on his.
“Joel…” I said, flustered.
He quickly snaps out of it and drops his hand. Then mumbles something like:
“Thank you for being so considerate."
I didn't really hear it as all I could stare at was his face that looked so sad and a little guilty as he pulled away.
“I’m just gonna turn in for the night. Good night Annie”
“Oh, um…good night…”
I just sat there for a second. Not really understanding his warm embrace then his confused almost cold affect when he let go. Had I done something wrong?
I get up still confused as to what I had done wrong. As I walked up the stairs and into my bedroom I found the two girls lying in my bed asleep. I looked around and then I remembered the brown box that sat inside my nightstand for months.
I opened the drawer and grabbed it out. I simply stared at the box for what seemed like hours. I walked over to my desk and wrote in my diary.
Saturday, May 25
Today Joel and Sarah came home. I hadn’t realized how much I missed them. My best friend is back but there’s this weird feeling creeping in my stomach every time I think of Joel. His soft grey eyes, his facial hair, his loose curls and his rugged hands. I can't stop myself from thinking about them. But why him? He’s practically like my second father. My best friend's father. My dad’s best friend. I've always thought he was handsome but I don’t know why but this feels different. New. We barely interacted so why do I feel like this and why do I want more. Maybe I just missed him more than I realized. He was a big part of my life for years. Maybe I underestimated that. I should give him my gift. But what if he doesn't like it? His birthday was a while ago. Now it's just a welcome home gift.
I gathered my final thoughts and got up. I slowly walked down the hall making sure not to disrupt anyone that was sleeping. I lightly knocked on Joel’s door and I noticed it wasn’t all the way closed so it swung open lightly when I pressed my fingers against it. I heard the shower on and walked into the shower. I heard him humming a familiar song but I couldn’t quite place it.
Then I hear the shower turn off and walk back towards the door when I hear his voice.
“Annie…? What are you doing in here?”
I slowly turn around and see him standing in front of me. His hair is drenched and he has water dripping down his chest. All he wears is a white towel around his waist.
“ I was just leaving,” I said with a flustered red look on my face.
“Then what’s that in your hand?” Joel asked.
I can’t help but let my eyes wander down his body. His chest is defined and large. His arms are muscular and more defined than his abdomen. The way he carries himself shows his strength. His hair is a shaggy wet mess. His eyes look soft and full of warmth. His cheeks are red but I would just assume it's from the shower.
“Oh, i- um, I completely forgot to give this to you earlier. I got you something for your birthday. I know it was quite a while ago but I had this feeling I'd see you again soon. And I just thought of you when I saw it for some reason.” I said.
“I’ll just leave it here while you get dressed.” I said while putting the box on the dresser.
“Um no wait, I want to open it with you”
He quickly grabbed a grey-blue shirt off the bed and tossed it over his head.
“Do you mind turning around real quick?” He asked lightly scratching the back of his head.
I let out a noise and then quickly turned around not realizing I'd been staring at his body maybe a little too noticeably.
I can hear him drying himself off behind me and putting pants on.
“Alright.”
I take that as my sign to turn back around. I look down at his red flannel pants. They look well worn but comfortable. They fit perfectly around his muscular legs.
He sits on the bed just looking at me perfectly comfortable in his pajamas while I’m still in my day clothes.
I grab the little box and walk over to the bed. I sit down looking at the brown box, fidgeting with it. I try not to notice the small amount of space between us as I lift my head towards him. I put my hands out with the box towards him. He grabs it and looks at it. His rough hands smoothing over the textured brown leather of the box.
He opens the box to find a watch. It has a black interface with a silver bezel and a dark green strap. The band is textured and the accents are all silver.
“It’s beautiful Annie, I haven't had a watch this nice…well I don’t know how many years.”
“Look at the back,” I said gently, pointing with my head.
He gently grabs it out and reads the inscription.
Love, Annie
“I know it’s simple but when I saw it I just knew it was meant to go on your wrist.”
Before I can even say anything else his arms are around my waist. His hug is warm, I can feel my heart beating faster in my chest. I can smell his musky almost earthy scent coming from his soap. I can feel the wetness of his hand and his soft touch around my waist as he just holds me.
I wrap my arms around his neck to reciprocate the hug. He just stays there for a while until he opens his mouth and I feel his breath near my ear.
“Thank you for thinking of me.” he said.
He lets go and puts his hands on either side of my face. He’s still taller than me even though we're sitting and he gently lowers my head then plants a small, loving kiss on my forehead.
“My sweetest, Annie. I will wear this proudly,” he said softly.
“Will you put it on me?” Joel asked
I give him a small nod as I fail to meet his eyes once again. He puts out his left arm and I lightly secure it around his wrist. It seems to compliment him perfectly.
“It looks really good on you,” I said with a smile on my face. I could tell my face was flushed but I didn't care anymore. I wanted to look him in the eyes.
They seemed to have a spark in them I’d never seen before. They were warm and full of life. The grey in them matched the small gray streaks in his hair. They showed his care.
“I should go to bed,” I said, quickly clearing my throat.
“Alright then goodnight Annie” he said in a tone that showed his sadness but in a serious way.
Like he once again realized who he was talking to. Like I was nothing more than his best friend's daughter and I guessed I was. Despite the tension I felt building between us. Despite his sweet loving eyes that were now engraved in my mind forever. But that was ridiculous. I mean he had only been back a day.
I walked out of the room shutting the door behind me. I could tell by his tone that he realized I wasn't just some girl. So I just kept walking down the hall. I stepped into my bedroom and changed quickly into a pair of comfy shorts and a tank top after taking off my bra. I lay into my bed beside Sarah. Thank god for having a larger bed otherwise we wouldn’t have all fit.
I say a quick prayer in my head. Then fall asleep hoping for good dreams preferably not of Joel Miller.
Joel’s POV
I laid in bed just staring at the ceiling. The only light left is the small lamp beside me. All I can do is recall the events of today over and over in my head, as if watching a movie.
I arrived in the driveway of a beautiful familiar house. It's white with two floors. Shutters on every window. Dormers at the top. It has brown accents and trimming but the door is a vibrant red. It still hasn’t changed all these years despite some bad weather and the usual chipped painting and such. So many memories and yet unchanged. That's when I noticed her.
Annie. She had a light tan like she always did at the beginning of summer. Her eyes shined from the sun coming from the sunset behind us now. Her dark curls bounce along with her as she stands up and walks down the stairs. All I can do is stare at her in her white top. It has lacy bits at the sleeves with mock buttons along the middle and it flares outwards (a babydoll top). It seems to emphasizes her breasts making them look perfectly perky but why was I even thinking that. I forced myself to look away as she certainly was no longer the same girl I knew when her and Sarah were younger.
I look back and notice she wore these jean shorts that ride up a little too much on her bottom as it curves. I can see the very bottom when she goes up and hugs my Sarah. I know I should look away. This is wrong. I tell myself. But I can't help but peek. I know I shouldn’t. It just ain’t right.
So why does she have this effect that draws me into her. I call out her name when she lets go of Sarah and I extend my arms out for a hug. She walks towards me putting her hands around my neck as I put mine on her waist. Then I smell her perfume. She smells sweet like vanilla with floral tones to it.
I am drawn into her smell as she sinks her face in my chest. She lets go and takes an awkward step back. Her face looks red from the evening sun and we exchange a few words then she walks away as her parents step in. We hug and talk but it's all a blur. All I can think about is how her face matches her red boots.
At dinner all I seem to notice is Annie sitting in front of me. The food is delicious but all I care about is her. She’s radiant, like a warm sun on a large field of flowers. Her hair is perfect, the curls seem to perfectly frame her face especially when she laughs.
Even her baking is perfect, the cake seemed to melt in my mouth with the warm spices and tender pieces of carrot.
The small talk at the table gets dull as we finish up and we all head over to the couch to chat.
When what we were watching is over. Sarah takes Ellie up and disappears out of my vision, probably into Annie’s bedroom.
She sits beside me now even closer than before. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help but stare at her beautiful face. Before I even realize my hand is on her face and I just blurt out words. It’s like I can’t help but be gravitated towards her.
Her face is flushed but so soft and delicate I feel like if I breathe too hard she'll break.
She says my name and I snap out of it. I can’t help the way I feel when I’m around her so I just leave and say goodnight.
I hop in the shower as soon as fast I can. I can feel the cold water run down my body. I could feel my groin aching earlier when she moved closer to me. My eyes led down my body. Lord have mercy for the thoughts that were provoked by my wandering eyes.
From my own daughter's best friend who is half my age. I can’t help but feel like a horny teenager again. I practically got a boner from her just pressing her chest up against me in her hug. I can’t help but wonder how soft her skin would feel under my rugged hands. I know I shouldn’t have these thoughts. Especially not while I am in the shower trying to cool off and quite frankly it was doing anything but.
Maybe I just hadn’t been with anyone in a while. She was there. It was convenient. My thoughts rushed even as I stepped out of the shower. I walked out to see her back turned to me as she tried to leave quietly.
This really isn’t helping considering that I'm naked as well. Fuck. I manage to put on clothes and sit down on the bed. I open the box and see a watch, it’s gorgeous. The inscription just makes it all the more perfect. I hugged her for a while, not wanting to let go of her intoxicating scent. I feel so grateful.
Her hazel eyes look into mine. I can tell by her flushed expression that she's embarrassed. So I just kissed her forehead. My sweet, Annie. She’s all I can think about. Her smile was so sweet. It felt warmer than any I'd ever seen before. All I wanted was to see it over and over again.
I glance down and notice her red bra. The lace is peeking out from the top. Her top is just sheer enough that you can see a bit of red through it along with the lace above the neckline of the top. It's so simple yet so provocative. It matches perfectly to her red colored boots. Her bust sits so nicely and well rounded. She is far from the young girl I used to twirl around every time I saw.
Then I remember that little girl. The one who had my trust to always protect her. So I snapped out of it and told her good night. She leaves quickly and I feel the pressure of her watch on my wrist. I take it off and place it in the box then on my nightstand.
Now here we are. With the lights off and alone with my thoughts. This was all so sudden, just yesterday she was like my niece and today all I can think about is what she feels like. What her lips taste like. How I can make her feel good, happy, loved and cared for.
Yet all I could do was back off, I’m an old man. She has so much life to live. No point in wasting it on a guy like me. How could she ever even like me. There was too much at stake to even think about it. Besides this was new. Maybe it was just our awkward feelings around each other since we hadn't seen each other in so long.
That's if I could even stay away from her and I had a feeling it would only get harder to control my urges.