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DAY 1
Steve: i saw that guy again. i think i’m not as straight as i thought i was
Unknown number: i hate to tell you this but you got the wrong number pal. but hey. i’m bi. i’ve been there. i can talk you through it if you want
Steve: omfg i’m so sorry. really. so so sorry
Unknown number: nbd. but seriously, i’m happy to help if you need it.
5 minutes later
Steve: ok so there’s this guy
Unknown number: is he a friend?
Steve: no. thank god. i’ve seen him around but i don’t actually know him. but he’s… i can’t describe it. he’s beautiful. i can’t stop looking at him. i really wanna draw him
Unknown number: you an artist?
Steve: yeah
Unknown number: don’t artists have like muses?
Steve: this feels different though. plus i don’t usually dream about the people i wanna draw
Unknown number: OH HO! Like sex dreams?
Steve: i can’t believe i’m telling you this but yeah
Unknown number: do you like the sex dreams? are you enjoying them?
Steve: oh yeah
Unknown number: ding ding ding give the man a prize
Unknown number: are you ok with being attracted to guys?
Steve: yeah. i’ve got no problems with it
Unknown number: do you want to explore being with guys?
Steve: maybe just with this one guy
Unknown number: is he into guys?
Steve: i really don’t know :/
Steve: but now that i’ve started wondering about whether i might be bi, i want to figure it out
Unknown number: ok then. your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go forth and learn about guy on guy sex. watch gay porn. do research on the internet. pay attention to how you feel while you’re watching/reading about it. okay in principle is not the same as okay watching it, much less okay actually doing it
Unknown number: quick question. have you ever fingered yourself?
Steve: omg
Unknown number: hey, no shame. we’re total strangers here. no one need ever know
Steve: no. omg because i didn’t realise you’re such a dork :)
Steve: ok maybe also omg because of the fingering question
Unknown number: [middle finger emoji]
Unknown number: that’s a visual pun in case you missed it
Steve: DORK
Unknown number: you’re not answering the question, maybe bi guy
Steve: omg. ok. no i’ve never fingered myself
Unknown number: OHOHOHOHOHO you have been missing OUT
Unknown number: what are you waiting for?! get on it!
Steve: oh god please NO MORE PUNS
Unknown number: shame on you and your filthy mind. actually i’m getting a little ahead of myself here
Unknown number: see what i did there
Steve: saaaaaave meeeeeee
Unknown number: [sunglasses emoji]
Unknown number: watch the porn first. that’s your homework for the week
Steve: gay porn is my homework
Unknown number: are you srsly complaining about having to watch porn?
Steve: lol ok no
Unknown number: i’ll send you some links ok? nice gentle stuff first. ease you into it *wink*
Steve: i cannot believe i am having this conversation
Steve: srsly tho i really appreciate this
Steve: i mean you taking the time to help me out with this
Unknown number: hey. finding out your sexuality’s not quite what you thought it was can be tough. if i can help make it easier for you, then it’s all good.
DAY 3
Steve: i finished my homework
Unknown number: the porn?
Steve: yup
Unknown number: SO??
Steve: so i got off
Unknown number: [popping champagne emoji]
Steve: was that another visual pun
Unknown number: [thumbs up emoji]
Steve: you have completely ruined emojis for me forever
Unknown number: :)))
Unknown number: so what did you think of the porn?
Steve: a lot hotter than i thought it’d be. i kinda can’t stop wondering what it feels like
Unknown number: onward virgin soldiers! This week’s assigned homework: FINGERING
Steve: it looks a little intimidating when you capslock it like that
Unknown number: i’ll send you some links. don’t worry and take it at your own pace. are you ready?
Steve: i am ready
Unknown number: good man
Unknown number: i expect a 1000 word report. chop chop
Steve: you want i should text you while i’m at it?
Unknown number: no wiseass. you’re gonna need all your fingers
Steve: omg
DAY 6
Steve: holy shit
Unknown number: welcome to the backside, my young padawan
Steve: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST
Steve: DORK
Unknown number: as the guy who just introduced you to your prostate, i think i deserve a little respect here
Unknown number: now might i interest you in a dildo?
DAY 11
Steve: HOLY SHIT
Unknown number: heavens parted choirs sang?
Steve: you could say that
DAY 15
Steve: hey. you there?
Unknown number: what’s up maybe bi guy?
Steve: my name’s steve btw
Unknown number: hey steve. i’m bucky
Steve: nice to finally put a name to the guy who introduced me to my prostate :)
Bucky: just call me matchmaker extraordinaire [thumbs up emoji]
Steve: omg
DAY 21
Steve: i just had the fucking shittiest day
Bucky: what happened?
Steve: client asked me to change the artwork 300 times and then today he said scrap the whole thing he’s got another fucking better idea
Bucky: that’s fucked
Steve: fucking yeah it is
Bucky: you know what you need?
Steve: i’m almost afraid to ask
Bucky: first you need a nice cold beer. go get it
Steve: got it
Bucky: now turn on the tv and pick the shittiest show you can find
Steve: WHY
Bucky: work with me here
Steve: ok
Steve: oh god
Bucky: what
Steve: csi miami is on
Bucky: JACKPOT!!!
Steve: why are you making my suffering worse
Bucky: wait wait lemme find it
Bucky: THERE HE IS. MR 45 DEGREE SUNGLASSES MAN
Bucky: are you ready? get set… LET THE BILE FLOW
45 minutes later
Steve: i can’t believe that actually worked. i feel all dirty. but better
Steve: thanks man
Bucky: anytime
DAY 30
Steve: i saw him again
Bucky: The GuyTM?
Steve: lol yeah him
Bucky: you planning on making a move?
Steve: i dunno. how do i tell if he’s into guys?
Bucky: eye contact. it’s all about the eye contact
Bucky: listen. i’m not saying don’t go for it, but maybe you might wanna try something a little more low pressure first? maybe go to a gay bar and see how you feel about having another guy all up in your space
Bucky: first time with a guy can be a little tricky, especially if there’s a lot at stake. you might find that it’s not right for you after all but it’s hard to bail cos you’ve put too much into it
Steve: well… i seem to just be attracted to that one guy tho
Bucky: why just this one guy? i know you said he’s beautiful. is it the physical thing?
Steve: partly. but not only that… there’s just something about him. the way he treats his friends. the way he smiles. a certain look in his eyes. kind.
Bucky: he sounds like a really decent guy. i think you should just go for it. test out the waters. if he seems interested, then be upfront about the fact that he’s the first guy you’ve been with
Steve: will that be a turn off?
Bucky: hard to say. some guys find it crazy hot, some guys prefer not to be the guinea pig. but if he likes you, and he’s as nice as you think he is, then it shouldn’t matter to him either way
DAY 33
Bucky: so how’d it go?
Steve: i didn’t talk to him
Bucky: what happened?
Steve: it just didn’t feel right
Steve: i was on my way over and then
Steve: can i call you? I know we’ve never spoken, but i really need to hear your voice right now
Steve nearly drops his phone when it rings. “Bucky?” he answers on a gasp.
“Hey Steve.”
Bucky’s voice is smooth and mellow, with a tinge of Brooklyn that sounds like home and it makes Steve’s heart beat a little faster. “It’s good to finally hear your voice.”
“Same,” Bucky says warmly. “Now you wanna tell me what happened?”
Steve scrubs a hand through his hair and slumps back against the headboard. “I was on my way over there and I just started thinking, what if he’s nothing like what I’ve imagined? Maybe he really is just a beautiful face.”
“Yeah well, you’re not gonna find out one way or another if you never go over and talk to him.”
“What if I don’t want to anymore?”
“Are you kidding me? You’re crazy about him… you’ve been talking about this guy for over a month.”
“I’ve been talking to you for over a month, too.”
There’s a long silence. Fuck. Did he just screw up? He really doesn’t want to screw up this strange friendship they’ve developed that’s come to mean a lot more than it should.
“What’re you—I don’t want to assume, but it sounds like…” Bucky trails off uncertainly.
Just say it. “Can I—can we meet? I’d really like to meet you.”
“Oh,” Bucky says. “I’d—I’d really like to meet you too.”
Steve can hear the smile in Bucky’s voice.
It’s probably an indication of how much he’s looking forward to finally meeting Bucky that he’s already making his way through Central Park half an hour before they’re supposed to meet. He doesn’t care. He finally knows what it means when people say they have a song in their heart. He’s a little worried, sure, he’s not naive enough to think that physical compatibility isn’t important. But after a month of texting each other every day, he’s pretty sure Bucky’s it for him.
He’s about fifty feet away from the bench where he’s supposed to meet Bucky when he spots the guy sprawled on the grass next to it. He’s lying on his front, propped up on his elbows reading a book. And then Steve recognises the dark hair with a hint of a curl, the jawline—shit.
He turns around, feeling flustered, and hurries towards a nearby copse of trees. He starts texting Bucky to change the meeting place to any other bench in the park but this one. It’d be just too fucking weird.
Steve: i just saw the guy
Bucky: oh
Bucky: that’s a sign isn’t it? you should probably go talk to him
Steve’s steps falter when he sees Bucky’s message. He steps into the shade of the trees and turns to glare at the guy. Today of all fucking days. The guy’s still there, but now he’s got his phone out. Steve’s phone buzzes. It’s another text from Bucky. i’m running late anyway. i was just gonna call you actually.
Shit. This isn’t what he wanted, he thinks, agonised. no. please. i want to see you. i’ll wait for you or we can meet somewhere nearer to you
The guy’s looking at his phone, his face unaccountably sad. He starts typing. Moments after he stops, Steve’s phone buzzes with Bucky’s reply. i think maybe you’re not ready to let this thing with your guy go. it won’t be fair for both of us if you’re still wondering. we can still be friends ok? lemme know how it goes.
When Steve looks up, the guy’s putting on his backpack and getting to his feet. In a daze, Steve presses the call button on his phone and he watches as the guy taps the screen of his phone and puts it to his ear.
“Steve?”
“You’re not really running late, are you.”
“Wait—”
Steve hangs up and starts towards Bucky, because of course it’s Bucky. Bucky must be trying to call him back because his phone starts buzzing in his back pocket. He’s about fifteen feet away when Bucky finally realises that someone is bearing down on him. He takes a startled step back, then realisation flashes across his face.
“Steve?” Then Bucky’s mouth falls open. “I’m the guy? Are you fucking kidding me?”
Steve comes to stop in front of Bucky. “Imagine how I feel. You helped me pick out my dildo.”
All the sadness is gone from Bucky’s clear grey eyes and now they look like they’re lit from within, filled with laughter and relief and something else that makes it difficult for Steve to breathe.
“You thought I was kind.”
“And I was right, too.” Steve steps a little closer and reaches for Bucky’s hand. “So Teach, got any homework for me?”
“No more homework.” Bucky tugs him closer. “I think it’s time to get some hands on experience.” Bucky gives him a shy smile. “Can I kiss you?”
Steve nods, not quite able to string two words together.
Bucky leans in and kisses him, soft and sweet. There’s a worried look in his eyes when he leans back. “Was that… okay?”
Steve licks his lips, chasing the taste of Bucky, then he pulls Bucky flush against his body. “I think I might need a few more just to be sure.” He can’t resist the urge to sweep his tongue over the plump flesh of Bucky’s lip and the soft sound that Bucky makes sends a hot sharp ache through him. Fuck… if he’s not careful, he’s going to forget they’re in a public place. “Come home with me?”
Steve barely manages to get his apartment door locked before Bucky’s pressing him back into it, the hard planes of Bucky’s body fitting perfectly against his own. He wants to learn every inch of that body, with his fingers, with his mouth. Steve shudders at the feel of Bucky’s hands when Bucky slides them under his shirt, so much bigger than he’s used to, rougher and harder. He slides his own hands under Bucky’s shirt and pulls him in close to kiss him, hot and deep. Bucky pulls away, and Steve tries to follow.
“Steve. Steve, wait.”
Steve blinks, Bucky’s words taking a moment to penetrate his heated mind. A shudder runs through him at how debauched Bucky looks, hair tousled, lips red and kiss-swollen, and his eyes… fuck. But there’s a serious look on his face so Steve makes himself focus. “Bucky?”
“If you feel uncomfortable about anything, just say so and we’ll stop, okay?”
Bucky looks at him, so earnest and concerned, and yeah, Bucky’s definitely it for him. “Okay,” he says. “But the only thing making me uncomfortable right now is my pants.”
Bucky gives a low laugh. “Is that right?” He trails one hand down till he can cup Steve’s aching cock in his hand. Steve groans and squeezes his eyes shut at the sensation. “I guess we should do something about that.” Bucky starts freeing the buttons on Steve’s button fly one by one, letting fingers and knuckles brush against Steve’s cock.
“Fuck,” Steve whispers shakily as Bucky leaves a trail of hot, sucking kisses up to his ear.
“This is it, Steve,” Bucky whispers, sending shivers chasing down his spine. “You’re gonna have another guy’s hand on your cock.” The tip of a tongue traces the whorl of his ear. “Are you ready?”
“Your hand, Bucky, not just any guy’s.”
“Oh you sweet talker, you.” Bucky drops to his knees and Steve thinks he’s about to have a heart attack. Bucky pulls Steve’s jeans and boxer briefs down to his knees then he rests his cheek on Steve’s bare hip and looks up at him, a teasing glint in his eyes and a smug curl to his lips.
Jesus… Jesus. He can feel the prickle of stubble on his skin and the warmth of Bucky’s breath tickling his cock. He’s so hard it hurts. “Bucky…” he groans. Without any preamble whatsoever, Bucky swallows him down almost to the root. God… his mouth. “What happened to hand?” Steve chokes out.
Bucky slides off slowly, so slowly, doing things with his tongue that make Steve see stars. “I can switch to my hand, if you want.” Bucky smirks at him and licks his lips.
“Don’t you fucking dare.”
Bucky’s laugh is husky and wicked and then he leans forward and proceeds to drive Steve out of his mind with light, teasing licks of his tongue, swirling it around the head of Steve’s cock.
“Wait,” he gasps, and Bucky immediately pulls away. “No, not—Bed. Bed.”
They stumble into his bedroom, made clumsy by their inability to stop kissing and touching, and removing one piece of clothing after another, until they bump into the bed and fall back onto it. He rolls on top of Bucky. “Can I…?”
Bucky lays back and gives him an encouraging smile. “I’m all yours.”
He has to kiss Bucky for that before shifting back to look at him. He’s gorgeous, long lines and lean muscles, and his cock hard and curving up to his stomach, flushed a deep rose colour.
“Like what you see?” Bucky’s tone is teasing, but there’s a hint of worry in his eyes.
Steve strokes his hand from Bucky’s shoulder down to his thigh. “You’re beautiful.” Then he trails his fingers up over Bucky’s cock and drinks in the sound of Bucky’s shaky inhale. He tries a few experimental strokes, looking from his hand to Bucky’s face, the pleasure he sees there kicking his arousal up another notch. He’d thought it wouldn’t really be any different from jacking off his own cock, but he was wrong. Knowing that he’s giving Bucky pleasure makes it completely different and also a complete turn on.
In for a penny, in for a pound. He leans down and licks a stripe up Bucky’s cock. Bucky curses and buries his hand in Steve’s hair, gripping just hard enough to make him moan. He teases the tip of Bucky’s cock with his tongue and then he gathers up his courage and sinks his mouth down over Bucky’s cock. It’s big and feels foreign in his mouth, and to his relief, the slightly astringent taste of pre-cum is not unpleasant.
Then Bucky groans out Steve’s name, and god, the way he looks, head thrown back in pleasure, exposing the gorgeous line of his jaw, the way his back arches… Steve could become addicted to this. In the end, it’s not really different from having sex with a woman, the parts might be different, the technique might be different, but this, the pleasure he gets from pleasuring his partner, it’s still the same.
“Steve, Steve.” Bucky tugs him off and up and rolls them till he’s on top.
Oh god. Was he not doing it right? “Did I do something—?”
“No. God no.” Bucky leans down and kisses him. “There’s just something I really want to do for you.” Bucky kisses him again like he can’t help himself. “Can I?”
“What—What are you gonna…?”
Bucky waggles his eyebrows and Steve tumbles even more in love with the giant dork that is Bucky Barnes. “Have you ever had anyone blow you while you got your prostate massaged?”
“Holy shit.”
“I take it you’re game?” Bucky doesn’t even wait for him to answer before throwing himself over Steve’s body to rummage around in the bedside table drawer. Bucky pulls out the bottle of lube and gives Steve an impressed look. “Only a quarter left. You’ve been busy.”
“My teachers always did say I was a conscientious student.”
“Give the boy a gold star and move him up to the head of the class. Time for some one on one tutoring.”
Steve laughs. “Well go on, then, introduce yourself to my prostate. Chop chop.”
Bucky: if i’m not back bf you wake up, don’t panic. i did not fuck and run. i’ve gone to get us some breakfast cos for such a healthy looking guy, you have shit all in your fridge
Bucky: A+++++ on your practical work btw [smirk emoji]
Steve: i have a really good teacher
Bucky: [kiss emoji]
Steve: [heart emoji]