Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Awful ideas weren't hard to come by, especially when two idiots desperate for something funny to record came across a horrible discovery that shock collars were available on Amazon… and somewhat reasonably priced. Both Banana and Bread were left to let their minds run wild, and simultaneously looked each other dead in the eyes and yelled “Minecraft but we get shocked when we take damage!” 

They weren't strangers to insane video ideas - well they beat Minecraft handcuffed together, right? This was easy, this was a breeze! 

It was only the day that the shock collars arrived at their doorstep that the two had second thoughts.

Bread sat almost motionless on the couch, nervous jitters ran through his leg and Banana couldn't help but notice, even in the kitchen. 

“You haven't opened the box yet.” Banana loosely commented, walking over to the living room and standing over Bread like a cat. “You're acting like it's a bomb in there.” 

Bread scowled, grabbing the box and setting it in his lap, anxiously picking at the tape. “I'm not- you're exaggerating. It's just.. it's weird, you get me?” 

“It's a shock collar, of fucking-course it's weird. You can't back down on this! You agreed, and there's no way in hell I'm going through this alone.” Banana set his hands on Bread's shoulders and gently patted down, his attempt at easing his friend. “Open the box, s'not gonna kill you. Besides- we aren't gonna film right away.”

Bread closed his eyes with a groan, “Fine! Let me procrastinate in peace, god!” He peeled back the tape and blindly reached a hand inside the box. He pulled out 2 smaller containers, both the exact same and both containing shock collars.

Shock collars they would put on.

And beat Minecraft while having on.

And every time they took damage in the game it would shock them.

Oh lord. Its fine! -Right? They still had time to prepare, Banana needed to set up the code and who knows how long that would take. “Open em up.” Banana swung himself over the couch, taking his place next to Bread. 

Bread rolled his eyes and proceeded to unsheathe one of the shock collars, rolling it around in the palm of his hand to get a feel for the structure. “It feels like it's gonna fall apart.” Bread dropped the collar onto Banana's lap and opened the other box.

“It's from Amazon, I honestly wouldn't expect anything else. Just don't throw it around and we should be chill.” Banana - lost in his own world - hadn't even noticed Bread start to juggle one of the shock collars. “Stop- that was twenty dollars, asshole!” He yelped and swiped the object out of Bread's hands. 

He was met with a snicker. “Relax! I won't do it again. Gimmie!” 

Banana reluctantly handed the collar back over to Bread. 

The box provided a couple items, some more important than others; the shock collar itself and a device to control the voltage given per shock. Bread skimmed through the manual granted and his eyes lit up at the realization that they already had the batteries needed.

He sprang up from the couch and fished around various drawers in the kitchen till he came across what was required. Bread shoved the batteries inside of the case and joined Banana back on the couch, whistling and acting like he was innocent. 

Banana quirked an eyebrow and turned over to Bread, “What'd you do, freak?!” Bread only smiled in response. Banana narrowed his eyes and continued to read through the manual. 

Bread held out the remote as far away from Banana as possible, physically hiding the object with his body. He cranked up the dial to something that would singe with pain but not too extreme. His thumb hovered over the button and he craned his neck over to Banana with a playful grin.

Bread suddenly clamped the prongs of the shock collar straight onto Banana's thigh and pressed down on the button, watching Banana's reaction intently. 

Banana opened his mouth in protest but quickly curled in on himself in pain. “Fuck!” He bit down on his finger to hold back a sound of what can only be described as agony and betrayal. Banana's hand slapped itself over Bread's and tore away the shock collar from his leg. 

Considering he was wearing shorts there was no fabric to at least muffle the shock and all it left him with was a very agitated red splotch. 

Banana's breath stuttered as he racked through the pain. “What the hell man?! The fuck did you set it to?”

“Like ..eighty?” Bread gave a nonchalant shrug.

Banana's eyes widened. “Eighty?! Are you trying to send me to my grave early?” 

“You gotta admit, it was kinda fu-” Before Bread can finish his sentence he's rudely interrupted by Banana grabbing his shirt and shoving the prongs up to his arm, right below his shoulder. Banana pressed down on the button and waited patiently until Bread jolted his arm back with discomfort.

He winced between his teeth and pushed Banana off of him, who was already clutching his stomach in unadulterated giggles. The patch of skin affected by the zap was redder than Banana's thigh, presumably from the softer skin being more prone to injury.

“Holy shit-! Yeah no, we are not setting them up that high.”

“What happened to it being funny?”

“I will gouge out your eyes with the finest cutlery.”

Banana scooped up the two collars in his arms and walked into their shared office. “I do not trust you with these so I'm hiding them ‘till I get motivation to start coding.” 

“I don't trust you either, ding-bat! What's stopping you from grabbing them in the middle of the night, sneaking into my room and FNAF-style jumpscaring me straight into the light?!” Bread stood up and followed Banana, lingering in the doorway with his arms crossed. 

“Fine! I'll just put them here,” Banana set the two shock collars on a table off to the side of the room. “and we will pinky swear not to touch them until we start planning. Capisce?” He held out his pinky.

Bread nodded and joined their hands together in a pinky swear. “Aye aye.”

-

Just a couple days later Bread found Banana sitting in their office, angrily tapping on his desk trying to figure out coding. He had a shock collar on the table next to him with as many panels open as possible.

Bread walked in and draped himself over Banana, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and inspecting his monitor. He glanced off to the side at the shock collar, “Careful with that, you don't wanna break it.” He grinned.

Banana rolled his eyes. “I won't. It's really fucking hard to learn actual console coding when all you've known for years is redstone. It's similar and then it's also just- not.” Banana crossed his arms and huffed out an exhausted breath. “I've been fiddling around with this shit for hours and it feels like I've gotten nowhere.” 

“Keep in mind, if you're able to figure this out we are one step closer to hooking up Minecraft to a Dance Dance Revolution board.” 

“...Well, you are right.”

“I always am.” Bread spoke with humble pride in his tone, “Don't sweat it, though. There's no rush, take your time.” Bread ruffled Banana's curls with his hand, orange and white nails contrasting with jet-black hair.

Banana burrowed his face in his hands, “Mmmhmmmmmph….. I guess.” He complained with a low whine.

Bread stood back up and straightened his spine, raising his arms high into the air as he stretched. “I'll make you food, cause I'm the best housewife in the world.”

“Thanks.” He swiveled around in his chair and stuck his fist out. Bread returned the favor and gave him a fist bump. “No problem, you keep working away in here. I'll bring in food whenever it's done and I'll wait for you in the living room when you decide you're done working for the time being …I'll even let you pick what to watch.”  Bread sauntered to the doorway and exited with a small wave.

Banana swung back around with a smile, letting a greatful sigh escape his mouth. He let his awful posture override again and slunched over to continue messing with the code.

It took an astonishing amount of time until Bread saw Banana walk out of the office, empty plate in hand. 

He slid it into the sink and practically leaped onto the couch to join Bread in watching what he put on the TV. “You look swamped.” Bread commented, tossing the blanket he was previously using right on top of Banana. “Honestly, get some damn sleep.”

“But-”

“I will drug you.”

Banana grumbled and pulled the blanket up over his head. “Not agaainnn…” He rolled over on his side and curled up into a helpless heap. “I think I should actually sleep.” 

Bread pinched the bridge of his nose with a soft laugh of disbelief. “You think? Go. To. Bed. Jeez- how did you even expect to live alone in the future?”

“I was either gonna be a basement dweller or homeless.” Banana joked, but his tone was unapologetically monotone. 

“M’ not surprised. Goodnight sleepyhead.” Bread smiled and put on some meaningless background noise to help Banana fall asleep.

He didn't need to wait long to hear slightly muffled snores suspiciously coming from the direction Banana was in.

Banana woke up a few hours later laying in his bed, not quite sure exactly how he got there. He decided to stay in the comfort of his sheets …He'll ask Bread later. 

-

The next week hadn't been very forgiving for Banana. He spent most of his hours cooped up in his office; lights turned off, hardly any sleep, relying on blue light glasses and a whole lot of painkillers to reduce migraines. Yet he stayed determined.

Yeah, it was kind of a stupid idea and they had no real reason to film this, but Banana wasn't the kind of person to back down. He didn't let a lot of things stop him, and if a video about putting on shock collars were to do that? damn, he'd never recover.

Also that would be a whole forty dollars gone to waste.

But after some hopes and prayers, Banana was able to run his prototype - the one he had the most faith in. This was his third attempt and he was feeling a whole lot more confident.

Banana hooked up LEDs to a breadboard connected to an Arduino to test if the code was written correctly, so when the LEDs lit up in white hues he practically screamed in celebration.

Bread's door swung open and the culprit stood in his doorway with a proud grin. Bread - in the comfort of his blanket - craned his neck around to look at Banana. “You look happy.” He smiled.

“I am, I very much am. Guess what.” Banana could hardly keep himself still; bouncing around on each foot like he was about to explode anytime soon. “The prototype works! It lit up the LEDs! So all I gotta do is replace the output to the shock collar and tinker around with the voltage to make it higher when you take more damage. But- I did it!” He squealed, involuntary shaking his fists. 

“Oh shit- for real? So that's why you yelled.” Bread huffed a light laugh. 

Banana rolled his eyes and turned around. “Can't a guy be a tad bit excited? Anywho- don't fall asleep yet, I'm gonna call you into the office soon.” He skipped down the hallway back to his work station.

“Close my door!” Bread complained with a frown. 

“No!” Banana was already lone gone and Bread heard the click of the office door. 

Bread reluctantly stood up and shut his door with his hip, throwing himself back onto the bed and pulling the covers over his stature. “Asshole..” He muttered to himself.

 One whole hour passed until Bread was called for, presumably with the intent to check out the shock collar.

Bread walked into the room with his hands hitched in his pockets, attention turning towards the tired ravenette frantically waving at him.

“I did it.” Banana grinned, a bit too wide for someone who knew they were gonna have to use this little ‘passion project' on themselves soon. “C'mere.” He spun around in his chair and showed off his mess of a wiring system.

Banana picked up the shock collar and blinked up at Bread with beady eyes, Bread nodded with a groan. He promptly presses the prongs into Bread's arm. Bread only just noticed Banana had the game open until he reached his free hand behind him and walked forward straight off a ledge, falling enough blocks to take 2 hearts of damage. 

Electricity pulsed through the collar straight into Bread's arm and with a sudden wince and shudder Banana pulled the shock collar away and flew back in his chair with a loud giggle.

“Holy shit! It really- it works! That took so long, so fucking long.” Banana couldn't help his excited mutters. He took a deep breath and turned up to Bread. “You good in there? Wanna do one more test for me?” 

“Ah- fuck, whatever.” Bread grabbed the shock collar from Banana's hands and patiently waited for something to happen whilst holding up the black box to his arm. Banana towered up a good fifty blocks and jumped off, hitting the ground with a splat and a death screen.

The shock was more aggressive this time, and Bread felt it. His arm shook and tensed with an involuntary squeal. “Ow-!” Bread dropped the collar onto Banana's lap.

“Did that hurt more?”

“Goddamn- yes!”

“Great, okay, so that works too. If nothing goes wrong tonight… we start recording.. tomorrow?” 

Bread crossed his arms, staring down at Banana with an unimpressed glare. “Alright, I guess so.”

Chapter Text

The clink of cereal bowls and unsolicited nerves weighed down on Bread. He shoved a spoonful of Cheerios into his mouth and aggressively chewed until there was only what roughly resembled saw dust remained.

“What the fuck are we thinking.” Bread deadpanned over to Banana, who was indulging in his own bowl of cereal. “Minecraft but we get shocked every time we take damage!? Are we deranged?”

“Duh.”

“No- don't ‘duh' me! Why'd you let me agree to this!?”

“Actually you were the person who begged me to do this.”

A beat of silence almost immediately halted by Bread scoffing. “I- just- you're insane.”

“I took my meds today.”

“Can you nuke yourself?”

“Gladly!” 

Bread hunched over with a snort and Banana reciprocated with his own raspy laugh. “Alright- Bread? Just relax. It's a little baby shock collar, s’not anything to shed tears about! Besides, it could be funny… It will be funny… Hear me out, title idea; ‘we made Minecraft even more kinky.'” Banana pitched his idea with shiny eyes.

Bread rested his chin in the palm of his hand, elbow pressed up against scuffed hard-wood. “...Oookay ..you're right. I'm not trying to say I'm gonna back down- we just have so many more stakes! This will be the first video to cause us actual real life pain, not including the times where I hit you in the face for being a stupid loser.”

“And the times where I hit you back.”

“Way too hard by the way, former baseball junkie.” Bread pushed his chair back and scooped up his bowl - now completely empty. He drops it into the sink and jumps up onto the counter, now facing Banana while he still lingers at the dining table.

“We could stop this at any moment. Back down- forget we even bought the shock collars!” Bread swung his legs back and forth, eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“But will we?” Banana asked, an eyebrow raised in question.

A loud sigh, “No.” Bread crossed his arms with a huff.

-

Bread took his place in his squeaky office chair, probably not the best for gaming but they drowned their budget just getting the apartment in general so really it's not that important. Banana set his hands on the desk in front of him, stationed directly next to his taller friend.

“How are we gonna wear 'em?” Banana lazily traced a finger on each ridge of the shock collar, nail grazing over shitty plastic and loose screws.

Bread bit the inside of his cheek and leaned back further into the non-comfort of his uncomfortable chair. “Damn- we never really thought about that.”

“If we wanna go balls deep we could put them on our necks, though that might be a bit too far… also we couldn't do a hand-cam to show they're on. Or we could put them on our arms, like- forearms.”

“How would that work with the hand-cam?”

“Point it at ourselves instead of the table?” 

“Alright, I'm down. I do not want that on my neck.” Bread reached down under his desk to a box labeled ‘Recording Shizz' aptly scribbled in faded crayon by Bread - who was bullied for his terrible hand writing upon reveal. He grabbed an old phone he had since he was 12 and a broken phone stand graciously given by his father from a time period he was most definitely not alive during.

Bread set up the camera to point at himself, trying not to show anything above his shoulders if possible. Any mishaps could be cropped out in editing if they so-do occur. He rolled up his sleeve and secured the shock collar right below his elbow.

This really started to feel like the worst video idea maybe ever.

Banana basically collapsed in his chair, eyeing the shock collar sitting pretty on his desk. (If 'pretty' accurately described wires strewn about and draped over the collar like a make-shift toga.) The chair bounced under Banana's weight as he took his own respective box under the desk and set up his hand-cam. 

Banana tied the collar around his forearm and adjusted it for comfortability, twisting his arm around to make sure it didn't pinch him. The two of them started recording just seconds apart.

“All good?”

“Yup, start the world and I'll be there.” Bread played with his silver rings; some rusted over by water damage - while waiting for Banana to hook up the Minecraft world to LAN.

Banana made a noise of humble surprise when he got in the game, eliciting a high ‘ooo!’ sound presumably from the spawn. “Okay, ‘s open.” Banana turned around to Bread, arm held up on the back of his chair.

Banana couldn't see Bread's screen from this angle but with sound cues he was able to decipher when he started loading in.

“Damn- oh, hi! Village!” Bread, now officially in the game scoured the upcoming land and noticed a spruce village off in the distance. Banana ran up behind him, evoking a shriek from Bread as he realized what this asshole was doing. “Don't hit me- wait! I gotta explain the gimmick first!” He complained, putting as much distance between him and Banana as possible without leaving the spawn area.

“Go on then, just know that after you're done explaining I'm smacking the shit out of you.” Banana crept closer with a grin. 

Bread walked backwards on occasion, small taps on the S key every time Banana got scarily close. “Okay. Today! -No wait, you do the thing better than me.”

Banana rolled his eyes, “Fine. I think it's a little obvious but we have shock collars on!” He flailed his hands around for theatrics, now with the hand cam pointed directly at him the viewers can see all his little actions. “And It's fucking menacing. Look at this- a monster sitting on my arm that took a whole week to code! I gave this thing the epitome of princess treatment and what does it have to offer?” 

“Better viewer retention.” Bread added, tone unapologetically smug.

“Ah, yeah.. I'm not done. Whenever we take damage we're getting shocked. So fun right my dearest friend Bread?” Banana bumped up his voice a few octaves, trying to sound as innocent as he can be.

Bread sighed, “You're my thirteenth reason.” 

“I love you too man.” Banana dashed towards Bread, smacking him in the arm before prancing off to the village. As expected, Bread bit back a surprised squeal, mumbling some nonsense into his microphone about how you'll see Banana on the news tomorrow. “Sorry, man! I just wanted to show the viewers what fifty hours of my life went into!” 

Banana, was not sorry. "Editor, cut that one out, that was awful. Just do the summary in post. You'd think we have a toxic relationship if y' leave that in."

“We do.” Bread followed along behind him - the faintest smile breaking out in the corners of his mouth -, constantly adjusting his arm. You'd think handcuffs would be more uncomfortable? Well you thought wrong. The massive case which held everything together had a generous amount of weight to it. For being a cheap Amazon purchase it held some clarity.

The shocks weren't too intense either. Bread assumes Banana tweaked the numbers since last night, opting for something that won't hurt as bad. …Yet he doesn't know if that'll change if he dies. 

The shock collar dug into his arm with an uncomfortable burn. 

This was an awful video.

-

Good thing the two got their shit together and didn't feel like wasting time getting to the end fight. Despite the need to be done with the game it didn't spare them from the occasional fall, mob attack, or even themselves. Bread still felt the need to randomly smack Banana and run away giggling and feigning oblivion.

“Whadd'ya mean I hit you? Did you seriously not see the spider behind you? Lock in, man.” 

“There was no fucking spider- shut up! You're always the source of my problems, the root of all evil.”

“Snrk- no clue what you're talking about. Quit blaming me for your messes.” 

“Alright chat can we get a ‘Bread Stupid Fucking Idiot Chud Idiot Moron Stupid Shit-head Dingus Counter’ please?”

“Yes! Yes, let's watch the counter say in big bold letters ZERO. And fuck you Banana.”

“Alright let's watch my fist-”

“Shhhhshshhshh!”

“Okay. Alright, fuck, let me find the stronghold.”

“Sheesh, okay your majesty. Do all the work and I'll sit here admiring your handsome and courageous spirit."

“Zip up my pants when you're finished, a'ight?” 

Bread decided it would be of his best decision to quit talking, for the sake of maybe being done with this video faster.

Unless..?

“I th- m’kay, no.”

Nevermind, no, never say that.

“Exactly. Nothing that comes out of your mouth is ever a good thing.”

Yeah. Even though he wants to deck Banana in the face with a mug of beer he.. does agree.

Banana is able to locate the stronghold without being constantly nagged, now the only thing that stands in their way is the ender dragon. One issue. Banana said he would take this time to ‘clip farm' and provided no other context.

What the hell does that mean?

Banana chipped away at densely packed endstone with his pickaxe, forged of diamond they luckily found in a village. He doesn't know whether or not he prefers being down in the ground trapped with Bread, or in the open, the only thing stopping him from plunging into the void being 9 obsidian blocks with enough courtesy to prevent death. 

He continuously checks behind his back even with Bread promising he won't do anything sneaky.

With another swing of a pickaxe, the final bit of endstone is broken, cascading the two in violet hues of twilight. The end has always been the prettiest dimension, one of the things Banana and Bread could appreciate about this place.

The slew of recognizable obsidian pillars reared closer as Banana stepped out of the small tunnel, reaching down so he could pull Bread up. Bread took his hand and let himself be dragged upwards in a step. 

He loaded his crossbow, freely spinning it around like a toy. “Cheers to almost wrapping this up?” Bread inquired, raising an eyebrow and sticking his fist out.

“Cheers indeed, though we are far from mercy. Keep an eye out, pal.” Banana connects their knuckles together and runs off to start taking down end crystals.

Bread stares at his hand in confusion, “Thank you, Mr. Threatening Aura.”

No reply.

“Ghosting me, now are we?” 

Still, no reply.

He'll take that as a yes.