Work Text:
Puppyness: I'm sick. I'll be staying in Hamburg for another three days. What is Kaiser doing?
Kaiser stared intently at the notification that had just appeared on the screen. Steam from the bathroom blurred the small text. His fingers glided lightly across the phone, wiping away tiny droplets of water from his still damp hair. Carefully, meticulously, every action was calculated to avoid accidentally opening the message box. He rested the phone against the large mirror in front of the sink. His fingers tapped lightly on the smooth, expensive stone surface, his eyes still fixed on the message, his lips tightly pressed together. The screen dimmed, then lit up again when he gently touched it. After a few stubborn minutes, Kaiser sighed and turned off the phone.
"I'll answer after I dry my hair."
_______________________
Kaiser got his first phone in his fourth month at the youth soccer academy. The money came from Ray Dark's personal allowance, his first month's salary from the club, and a small amount from Ness. He didn't know whether to be surprised that a phone was so expensive for its mere 16-inch screen, or that the purple-haired kid had lent him money and never asked for it back. Everything simply happened too quickly to take it all in.
Buying a phone wasn't Kaiser's idea anyway. People use it for making calls, right? He could use the club's landline, even if he'd only used it once. Everything he needed was already in this "new house." Was it necessary to spend money on a rectangular piece of metal? No, Kaiser thought.
…
“Kaiser, I bought some pastries. Huh?! You don’t like them?! You wanted to eat toasted bread crusts? Why didn’t you call me sooner? No, I’m not going to stand in line anymore, that bakery is incredibly crowded. It’s unbelievable, I should have called… Hmm. Kaiser doesn’t have his own phone? Are you planning to call home using the club phone? What?! You never call home? But you should contact me too. No, they’re not a nuisance. You need one as soon as possible. We’ll go buy you a phone tomorrow…”
That's how Kaiser got his first phone. Something that should have been perfectly normal for kids his age.
It was his phone, but he hadn't chosen it. Only the boy with the purple hair and the salesperson had been talking all morning. They talked about security, glasses, or something that he dismissed as mere murmuring. Kaiser leaned against the wall, letting the boy sort out his own problem.
The first time he met Ness, he knew just how much he wanted to help others. He was always plagued by a damned sense of redemption. The most foolish kind of person, thinking that everything he gave was worth it.
As was his habit, he looked around. The expensive store, with its security cameras, guards, glass display cases, and dazzling lights. And he, standing here as a customer. It felt strange. A gnawing hunger welled up in his stomach. Empty. An unpleasant hunger struck suddenly. The expensive-looking metal objects stood neatly arranged under the blinding white lights like a lavish feast that the old Michael would have happily thought, "Just one of these and I won't be hungry anymore." A strange habit, a reflex honed from the past, made his hands tremble uncontrollably. His muscles tensed, his fingers fidgeted, and he felt himself being scrutinized from all sides.
Kaiser tried to distract himself from the display near him, his eyes darting to the ceiling, the table lamp, the plant, and then shifting his attention to the red sofa against the wall. He approached with mechanical, heavy movements, like a mannequin learning to move.
"Kaiser, what color do you like?" Ness's clear voice rang out; his voice hadn't broken yet.
Caught red-handed, the blond-haired young man was startled, his hair standing on end. Realizing he was acting unusually, he quickly regained his composure, but couldn't hide the tension in his voice.
"Anything will do, hurry up!" Kaiser slumped into the sofa, his hands pressed deep into his coat pockets, clutching the fabric tightly, his fingernails digging into his skin, trying to suppress the annoying tremor.
"So Kaiser is letting me choose everything myself, huh? And if I don't like it, I can't blame him, okay?" His eyes lit up, his voice tinged with shyness and a giggle. Ness was clearly delighted that Kaiser trusted him completely with his personal belongings.
- Yeah, yeah. Just do as you wish. - He didn't bother looking, busy getting used to the feeling of being a real customer.
In the end, it was called "enjoyment," but all I could do was sit there, look down at the new shoes the coaching staff had given me the day before, and try to think about the delicious meal I'd had at the canteen just an hour earlier. My hunger finally subsided.
A little while later, Ness returned with a beaming face. He was still the same puppy who had just completed his task and was waiting for his reward. Kaiser could see his tail wagging right now. A well-behaved, obedient puppy, just as expected.
Kaiser, take a look.
He stared at the phone in front of him, brand new, shiny blue, bought with legal tender.
_______________________
- This is a messaging app. If I can't answer the phone, just leave a message here, and I'll read it.
Kaiser's learning process for using a phone was quite simple. Having a phone was indeed very useful. He could review matches without borrowing tapes or the club's projector, and without flipping through piles of papers to read analyses. Ness was right; he should have bought one sooner.
It's just that there's a problem every now and then. A minor glitch in a computing system that should be running smoothly, which even Kaiser can't understand. Text Ness.
_______________________
KaiserI watched
Kaiser: ...Typing...
The blond-haired young man sat on the bed, his soft, blow-dried hair cascading down. Every muscle relaxed in his silk bathrobe and on the luxurious mattress. The Ness scented candle he'd bought last week had a very pleasant aroma, soothing his tense senses. What did that kid call it again, something like cedarwood? Anyway, it contributed to creating a sufficiently relaxed and peaceful atmosphere, perfect for him to start replying to the message he'd received thirty minutes earlier.
Kaiser gently wiped his slightly damp fingers on the edge of the towel, then carefully typed on the keyboard.
I just finished showering, I'm just sitting here.Isn't that too private? Ness doesn't need to know when he showers.
Erase
I just finished blow-drying my hair. What are you doing?What does this action even mean? It's completely pointless. It's no different from before, but even stranger.
Erase
We're having dinner.He ate two hours ago, but this one seems more normal.
No, Ness knows he doesn't eat at this time.
Erase
Kaiser glanced up at the television in front of him. Okay, this seemed normal, something that would showcase his professionalism and hard work. Very football-like.
Watching a replay of yesterday's match.
That seems fine.
Erase
Why should he tell Ness what he was doing? He could just ignore it. Thinking about how he'd given a series of strange answers annoyed him.
Kaiser: Yes
…
Kaiser: I'm just reviewing the match.
His fingers, acting on their own, continued typing the old characters on the keyboard. The message was sent, after all. He sighed. It must be done. But his brain reminded him he needed to double-check. No mistakes allowed. He scrolled up to Ness's message.
What is Kaiser doing?He had already replied, a neutral, reasonable answer, which would prevent Ness from texting again because he knew Ness was always very focused on analyzing the match.
I will be staying in Hamburg for another 3 days.A simple "Okay" would be enough. He'll probably just continue ordering food or cooking something without needing Ness.
I'm sick.
Ness is sick…
Ohhh…
Kaiser recalled the countless psychological theories he had read. Perhaps some of them had said something about showing concern and asking about others when they were going through a difficult time. Ness was sick; that was bad news.
Are you sick?
Erase
Ness just said he was sick, and you're asking him again? What kind of idiot would do that?
Is everything okay?That's ridiculous. Of course, if you're sick, there's a problem.
Erase
Get well soon.This time, I held my finger on the screen for a long time.
Erase
You're too concerned.
Get some rest. Don't let it affect your ability to play football.
Good. Strict. Disciplined. And most importantly, still caring enough.
He took a deep breath and pressed the send button. The message just appeared.receivedKaiser switched off the machine, hastily tossed it onto the table, then glanced at it discreetly, as if the child were trying to show that his mouth, smeared with cream, and the stolen cake on the table were unrelated.
A few seconds passed.
Then a few minutes passed.
Kaiser walked to the sofa, picked up the TV remote, and turned it on slowly, without even turning up the volume, as if afraid the volume would drown out the announcement behind it. He paused before selecting to play a video.
Ness still hadn't replied. Although their communication had become less frequent over the past few days, it hadn't been this long. He was always quick to respond to Kaiser's messages. Kaiser remembered clearly that Ness hadn't gotten his driver's license yet because he insisted on answering Kaiser's calls during the test.
"But I need to answer Kaiser's call; that's the emergency."
"Alexis Ness! You failed your driving test! Don't ever tell people you're my teacher on the road! For the safety of the German people, you'd better never drive again!"
"But Kaiser—"
"Get out of the car right now!"
Kaiser chuckled when he heard Ness arguing with his driving instructor on the phone. However, since the boy with the purple hair could no longer enter Munich's driving school, the price to pay was that the striker had to learn to drive himself. On the day he received his license, however, the instructor warned Kaiser that he absolutely had to keep the windows closed so other drivers couldn't hear the loud cursing inside. He didn't care; it was all because those other idiots drove so badly.
…
At least he should have answered by now. Michael Kaiser had to be Alexis Ness's priority. He couldn't imagine why he hadn't answered immediately, unless his phone had been stolen. Or the internet connection in Hamburg was down. Maybe a large dog had hidden it away. Whatever it was, it wasn't normal.
…
"He's probably busy with something," Kaiser thought dejectedly. He silently noted it down to scold the other person later.
If Ness doesn't reply, then so be it; he has a ton of other more important things to worry about than waiting for a message from her.Someone who is very important but actually not that important, yet very necessary but not really needed..
Without hesitation, he put on the video of their recent game. He didn't forget to place the can of Coca-Cola on the table. The fizz rose to the edge of the can, creating a long, hissing sound. The only sounds in the room were the rustling of paper and the lively sounds of the game.
For fifteen minutes, Bastard Munchen dominated the game but failed to capitalize on their scoring opportunities. Both teams were playing below par, making the opening minutes incredibly boring. Even Kaiser, who was also in the starting lineup that day, was yawning for the third time.
He muttered curses about his own mistakes, Ness's, his teammates', and the referee's, and didn't forget to gloat about his superiority over his opponent.
Brrr
"It's just a garbage disposal announcement," Kaiser thought to himself.
Brrr
But it could also be Ness. What if the publisher changed the sound? Or maybe I misheard. Anything is possible. I opened the notification bar. It's best to confirm it's Ness.
…
It's definitely not Ness…
Kaiser sighed. His fingers tapped lightly on the phone screen. He was growing increasingly impatient.
"That's strange. Answer me already, you stupid little puppy."
Kaiser recalled the days leading up to Ness's trip to Hamburg. Ness clung to him like a shadow, sulking beside him, whining:
- What would Kaiser do without you...?
The grumpy striker:
- Just one week, Ness. Do you think I can't live without you for a week?
He was teary-eyed when he picked up his suitcase and left the house.
- Or while I was at home, Kaiser returned to the dormitory.
"Get out, Ness!" Kaiser kicked Ness and his luggage out the door.
This was Ness's first time home since joining Bastard München. He said he couldn't delay it any longer; his parents disapproved and, worse, were forcing the little wizard to give up his football career. Kaiser thought Ness was exaggerating. There was no way that kid would quit football; who would pass the ball to him? No one else could do that. At least, no one could match him professionally.
…
A week has passed, and now there are three more days to wait. Today Kaiser had to wake up early to clean up the mess he'd made during a week of "independence," just so that when Ness arrived home he could proudly say, "I'm doing just fine without you." And now what? He clearly said he'd call every day, but yesterday and today he'd only sent text messages. Will he disappear completely tomorrow? This is unacceptable. This isn't how a puppy should behave towards its owner.
A simmering resentment burned within them. They hadn't been apart for very long since they'd met at the auditions four years ago.
Four years? I don't understand how it's been that long. It turns out keeping the puppy by my side has been more successful than I expected.
Turning to the phone that lay still, Kaiser snorted, feeling left out. Ness should have been the one waiting.
The match on the screen continues. The can of Coca-Cola is half empty.
_______________________
Ping
Kaiser's phone screen lit up. It was obvious who it was. He still couldn't shake the slight unease, wondering if it was really "the right person." Out of habit, he checked the notification bar before actually clicking on the conversation.
Puppyness: Is Kaiser watching the game? Kaiser is always so diligent.
Kaiser chuckled softly, satisfied with the answer. The frown on his face eased slightly. Alexis was still Alexis, after all.
PuppynessThank you, Kaiser. I will definitely get a good rest.
That's right, you should listen to that advice.
PuppynessSorry Kaiser for the late reply. I was just talking to my parents.
Includes a sticker of a crying puppy.
Kaiser was relieved. So Ness hadn't intentionally ignored the message. It was just his parents interfering between them.
Ness's parents...
He frowned slightly, recalling the rare times the boy had mentioned his family. They lived in Hamburg. Wealthy. Brilliant scientists. And they didn't like Alexis…
Kaiser: What did they say?
Before he could think it through, Kaiser pressed send. He wanted to scream at his actions. Withdraw. That was the first thing that came to mind. But it was too late; Ness had already read it and started responding. That message clearly revealed a damned curiosity. They say curiosity killed the cat. It would kill this cat, Michael Kaiser, instantly if Ness felt he was trying to control him. If he felt he was invading his personal space. If… if…
Kaiser paused.
No, that idiom isn't even used in that sense.
Calm down. You're Michael Kaiser. That's just Alexis Ness. He doesn't think that far ahead.
The young man took a deep breath, reassuring himself that he had to trust the simple thought process of the kid on the other side of the screen.
Puppyness: Oh
Oh, what is that? What kind of reaction is that?
Puppyness: Actually, the story is...
What the hell? Why can't Ness just send it all in one message? Noa always does it. That damn machine doesn't even bother with a greeting, it just sends the document straight to the screen. And it even includes punctuation and capitalization.
Puppyness: Maybe I'll tell you when I get back.
Kaiser almost held his breath. Ness didn't want to speak now, while he had so much he wanted to say.
Ignore those damn words. Don't ever go back to that house again. They're just weirdos who don't understand anything.
The finger suddenly stopped.
Erase
He almost went too far again.
Once again.
Kaiser: Understood.
Abrupt. Rude.
He put down the phone, leaned his head back, and stared into space.
_______________________
Memories took him back to a rainy day, in the club dorm, Ness leaning against Kaiser's bed. Tears and snot smeared his face. Awkward. Stuttering. The boy had just been on the phone with his family. As always, Ness called them and only received harsh words.
Kaiser sat there, pretending not to care. He simply listened to each fragmented sound, silently noting them down in his head, thinking that this would be essential information on his journey to transform Ness into a puppy.
No words of comfort or inquiry. The topic of family was never something he dared to touch upon, neither with himself nor with Ness.
Fortunately, that crybaby rarely mentioned his family. Very rarely. Except today. It seemed the conversation just now had shattered his little heart, forcing him to share the fragments amidst his barely audible sobs.
They stayed like that until Alexis's eyelids grew heavy, tears drying on his cheeks. He slowly stood up, giving the striker some privacy.
Thank you, Kaiser.
The door closed softly, leaving Kaiser in a state of indescribable awkwardness.
He didn't know what Ness was thanking him for.
…
…
…
Then, another day, he couldn't remember exactly how it happened. They argued, or rather, Kaiser yelled at Ness while he was trying to explain. Anger overwhelmed reason. There were shouts, sharp tones, venomous words. Something about Ness's family was blurted out before he could think. He didn't even remember what he said, yet he clearly remembered the face of the person opposite him. Tears clung to his reddened cheeks. His lips parted, stiff and unable to speak. And those eyes. Those eyes he would never forget, pupils wide, staring at him with anger, reproach… despair. It was the first time Ness had looked at Kaiser with that look, with that emotion.
In just a moment, Kaiser ceased to be the supreme deity and became a wicked sinner who had betrayed the faith of a devout believer.
Michael froze, realizing he had made a terrible mistake. He couldn't look the other man in the eye any longer. Every sense in his body was screaming one thing: "Apologize, you bastard." Unfortunately, he didn't know what he had done wrong, nor did he know how to apologize.
Ness quickly lowered her eyes, turned away, and sobbed.
"No. Kaiser, no. You... you can't... It can't be..." He struggled to find the words to say, finally managing to utter a helpless sentence. "I... I don't want you to talk about my family like that."
And Kaiser really didn't do it again. Although he couldn't understand why Ness said that. Those people had treated him badly. Ness didn't seem close to them either.
Alexis Ness, who listened to him yelling and belittling the boy for an hour without a word of reproach, defended a family that had never been on his side.
Perhaps it's because he never had a family to understand.
They quickly made up after one evening. It was Ness again, proactively approaching Kaiser as if nothing had happened. Meanwhile, the striker silently accepted it. No one mentioned the conversation that day.
Michael was extremely confused.
Alexis should have retaliated in kind.
Alexis should have left right then.
Alexis should have been like everyone else…
…
…
…
Kaiser suddenly froze, his lips parted, and he swallowed hard. It seemed he finally realized something. His shoulders, which had been tense for a moment, relaxed. Their last text message still lingered in the corner of his eye. What was done was done. The line remained. He could only silently scold Ness for not saying anything, but he didn't want to admit that he had never asked.
There are times when they are like the tide. Passionate and overflowing. Noisy and intoxicating. But when the water recedes, they are so distant, naked and fragile, leaving only sand, rocks, and cracks.
The first can of Coca-Cola wasn't even finished when the second one was already opened.
_______________________
It's nine o'clock in the evening.
He gently rubbed his forehead. His eyes ached after staring at the pixels for so long. If Ness were here, he would have frantically run to get his blue light blocking glasses.
Kaiser's weary body sank deeper into the sofa. He was weighing two options in his head: a strategic investment in researching the crucial match ahead, or wasting the remaining precious time on an unnecessary conversation with his little dog.
I'm sick.
I just spoke to my parents.
He could almost picture Alexis, on the other side of the screen, curled up in a worn-out Peter Pan-patterned blanket, her face flushed with fever, breathing heavily, clinging to the conversation with Kaiser as if it were a miracle keeping her awake. Her eyes must have been glistening with tears after that "intimate family conversation" that Kaiser didn't even know what it was.
That image made him lean slightly towards the second option. He just wasn't sure what to text now. He needed time to figure out his reply.
Ping!
Kaiser didn't answer, but Ness continued.
The screen lit up. Slowly, sluggishly. The striker silently vowed to himself that he would only reply to this one last message.
Puppyness: Kaiser, remember to get some rest too. The weather in Munich has been very unpredictable lately. Dress warmly.
He's always overly worried about Kaiser. Sometimes Kaiser feels like he's supporting a new wife. He can barely take care of himself, and now he's worrying about someone else. This is the third time this week he's reminded Kaiser about the weather.
Kaiser: I know.
The innocent phone was tossed back onto the bed. Quickly, decisively, without a moment's hesitation. It was easy to reply to the other person's caring messages, reminders so frequent that he could respond habitually.
He didn't know when it started, but he began relying on Ness's reminders. He became engrossed in and savored the gentle words whispered in his ear. It was a strange feeling he didn't understand, a warmth present in every small gesture. They seeped into Kaiser's life in the most natural way, gradually filling the void he didn't even realize he was in.
He had always assumed he would never listen to anyone again after leaving that house. But with Ness, it was easy. The little gestures, the gentle touches, the soft, warm voice—Kaiser accepted it all.
When the young man had never even considered learning how to live among "humans," Ness stood there, gently nudging his shoulder and whispering, "No, Kaiser, if someone says that to you, you should say 'thank you'."
His father also gave him a lot of advice.
"If you don't bring back the milk next time, go die."
"Can't you be quiet when I'm sleeping, you piece of trash?"
"You don't listen to me, do you? You're always just like your mother."
“...”
Every instance of disobedience was followed by a brutal beating.
Yet when Kaiser snapped at Ness, "It's none of your business, you incompetent fool," Ness just smiled gently, still trailing behind him like a little abandoned puppy.
Ness is very different.
…
…
…
Ping ping
The phone started ringing incessantly again.
Kaiser tilted his head towards the source of the sound. But this time he simply stared at it until the sound ceased completely.
He needs to save his remaining energy for the immediate task at hand, which is clearly more important than someone else.
"Later."
The match on the screen had entered the second half. The pass, the position, the goal—everything was recorded with precision.
The game remained under the control of Bastard Munchen and Kaiser. Nothing remarkable happened. Until a heated argument erupted, with both teams clashing after a collision between Kaiser and an opposing defender. The referee's decision was unconvincing. A player from the opposing side provoked the striker, further igniting his already fragile pride. Kaiser clearly remembered how his blood boiled with excitement, ready to use his fists, before Ness, the captain of Bastard Munchen, intervened to stop them.
"Look at me." The way the black glove cupped one side of Kaiser's cheek, gently stroking the angry wrinkles like some kind of magic, made him want to lean on that soft touch. It was those long, slender, soft fingers, always meticulously cared for, that slowly untangled Kaiser's hair every morning, gently helped him stretch before training, and secretly caressed his rose tattoo during lunch breaks.
"Calm down, Kaiser, it's not worth it." Ness's voice was deeper, warmer, and different from the day they first met.
Kaiser thought he looked terrible when angry, something he'd realized from studying his own facial expressions. Yet Ness kept saying it was the most beautiful face in the world. Either Ness needed an eye exam, or he was lying. Kaiser leaned toward the former. He was lucky Ness had such terrible taste. Now, Ness faced a furious Kaiser without a shred of fear, ready to tear anyone apart in front of him.
His anger gradually subsided, and he rudely pushed the boy's hand away and turned off. He heard a teammate approach the boy, complaining and expressing dissatisfaction with his recent behavior.
You wouldn't understand...
Ness was always so calm and patient. Unlike Kaiser, who only resorted to cursing and fists.
At the end of the match, Alexis, as usual, quietly approached Kaiser and whispered, "Remember to say this when the reporters ask you later." "Regarding the brawl just now, say this." "Don't forget…" He said a lot, giving many reminders. But Kaiser had never heard of anything Ness said, not even from the countless books he'd read.
Looking back… that’s the real him. Michael Kaiser, raised in the slums of Berlin. Unlike Alexis Ness, who was raised in an educated family in Hamburg.
Ness was different from the people around Kaiser.
It's also very different from Kaiser.
…
One, two, then three. Three crucial passing combinations on the field were missed. His attention kept shifting between the television screen, the notebook in his hand, and the phone on the table. He tapped repeatedly on the paper, leaving behind smudged dots and sloppy, illegible handwriting.
Unable to bear it any longer, the striker grabbed his phone, turned the speaker volume up as loud as possible, and threw it back onto the bed, muttering to himself, "This is just so I can hear any notifications from anyone except Ness without being drowned out."
Kaiser seemed more at ease and returned to the game. But only for a moment, his mind drifted back to the metal object. Clearly, he was waiting for the slightest sound emanating from it. After all, no one had contacted him at this hour except Ness. The coach wasn't working overtime, and neither was Noa.
Fragmented memories, at the wrong time, converged, adding to the simmering turmoil within. A painful realization that should have remained dormant beneath the dark ocean.
_______________________
The match is over. The phone remains silent.
Ness must be asleep. This is a good time for Kaiser to process those messages.
Puppyness: Don't drink too much Coca-Cola! Kaiser will turn into a fat, chubby cat!
Puppyness sent a sticker of a fat cat.
He snorted, feigning annoyance, but inwardly he was chuckling at this childish prank.
Puppyness submitted twenty-three photos.
Puppyness: Look, Kaiser, it's Kaiser!
It was Kaiser, but a Kaiser snowman with all sorts of silly angles. Despite his frustration, he scrolled through, hoping to find some joy in them. Ness sculpted a dragon, Ness fed a stray cat, Ness found a rose… These were the funny, intimate moments he shared with him. Kaiser chuckled softly, his eyebrows relaxing, his lips curving slightly.
He felt something strange, an unreal feeling. He had nothing, then he had a ball, then a new life, and now he had a person. Someone who belonged to him. Alexis, with her soft, childlike cheeks, her eyes full of admiration, her fervent affection, ready to do anything for him and only him. Suddenly he felt incredibly lucky. He had never felt so lucky in his life.
…
At the last photo, his finger froze. His lips twitched, his facial muscles tensed. He flipped through the pictures, confirming what he was seeing. Ness and a stranger were laughing together. They had their arms around each other, looking into the camera with the most idiotic expressions he had ever seen. So happy, so happy that he wanted to crush those faces.
Puppyness: …typing….
Kaiser almost held his breath. Waiting.
Puppyness has retracted a message.
Puppyness sent ten photos.
…
Puppyness: That's Kaiser the snowman `v`
Kaiser's smile vanished. The Coca-Cola can was crushed, its contents splattering onto the sofa and his fine silk shirt. He gripped the phone tightly in one hand, unleashing his anger on the poor metal object with immense force.
His jaw clenched. He silently mocked Ness for knowing exactly how to drag his mood down to hell.
Who is that?
Erase
Why delete it? Do you think you can hide it from me?
Erase
What the hell are you laughing at?
What's so fun about this place?
If Hamburg is so much fun, then don't come back here again.
Ness looked very happy. Even without Kaiser. Kaiser the snowman now looked irritating. Ugly. Stupid. Dumb.
Kaiser: That's stupid.
Ness responded, saying it took longer this time.
Puppyness: I just thought it was adorable.
…
Puppyness sent a photo
Puppyness: What do you think? That's a Kaiser advertisement image.
Kaiser chuckled sarcastically. Ness was very good at pleasing him. But no, not today.
Kaiser: …
Puppyness: Kaiser is very popular.
This wasn't enough. Thousands of questions still swirled in his head, spinning like a whirlpool, gradually exceeding his ability to process them.
Kaiser: What about the photo that was just withdrawn?
Many paintings were confiscated. Kaiser was delivering his verdict. His heart pounded, his throat was dry. Waiting. The first thunderclap before the storm.
Sent
…
Received
…
Puppyness has viewed
Puppyness: …typing….
Three dots were bobbing in the top left corner of the screen, and they just kept going for a while without stopping. Were they deliberately trying to annoy him? Still not finished? Kaiser frowned, intending to stop the annoying beeping sound, but the three hateful dots disappeared. He stared intently at the screen, as if trying to pierce through Ness's damned avatar.
There's nothing left.
Where is Ness?
…
Has Ness left?
Ness left without replying to Kaiser's message.
This wasn't the first time he'd lost his temper and taken his anger out on him. Many times before. But he never, ever stopped first.
Does Ness want revenge? Has the little puppy become so stubborn now? If so, he'll discipline him after he gets back to Munich. Or is he trying to avoid taking responsibility for his actions?
Kaiser tapped incessantly on the phone, turning it on and off, on and off. His finger movements became faster and faster, clearly intending to shatter it under the immense pressure.
"Or maybe..."
He then considered another possibility, a thought that had been haunting him for a long time.
Or maybe… Ness is tired.
I'm fed up with one-sided messages and unreasonable outbursts of anger.
Ness is tired of Kaiser.
With just that much thought, Kaiser felt his face flush, his blood boil, his hands gripping the phone tightly, his blue eyes glued to the glossy black screen.
Ten minutes have passed since Ness disappeared.
He let out a hoarse, sarcastic laugh, tossed the phone onto the table, and decided there was no need to pay attention to Ness anymore. If that stupid dog wanted to leave him, if it had had enough, then so be it. He had already shown his talent to the world. And the job of a world-class young player was to focus on his craft; Ness was just a minor distraction. It didn't matter. It had always been that way…
The wind is rising, the sea is rough.
The room was cold under the silver light. The game was already in the second half. But Kaiser just sat there, like a tattered doll. He didn't hear the commentator, but another sound, hoarse and musty. The taste of the next can of Coca-Cola was also different; it had turned into something foul-smelling and bitter. Something very familiar. Something he should have forgotten long ago.
_______________________
Dad, why is no one playing with me?
Michael grabbed the yellowed hem of the man's tank top and tugged gently. The man was clumsy, obese, and bloated like a barrel, with hairy arms and a scruffy beard. He lay on his back on the chair, drunk after several bottles of liquor, his mouth wide open snoring loudly, exhaling a strong smell of alcohol.
- Dad… - The boy called again.
- Huh... huh... Alic- huh? - The man, startled awake, jumped, his mouth still dripping with saliva onto the filthy sofa.
- Dad… - The boy continued, though he was starting to feel uneasy.
- You little brat! Can't you see I'm sleeping?! - The man yelled, raising his hand as if to slap the child.
The boy was terrified. Instinctively, he raised his hands to shield himself. But remembering his calculations, he carefully took out a package, pulled out a few bottles of milk and some cold cuts along with some bills, and pushed them in front of the man. The drunkard's eyes lit up when he saw them.
- That's pretty good, isn't it? You're getting more and more useful. - He said, then happily hugged the pile of items to his chest, examining each one like a child discovering a toy.
- Dad… - The boy called again.
- What? - He replied without even glancing at the child, still engrossed in his loot.
- I want a friend. Why doesn't anyone play with me? - The boy mumbled, trying to take advantage of the man's cheerful mood, unaware of what awaited him.
- Huh? What did you say? - The man glanced sideways, perking up his ears as if he hadn't heard clearly. - Want a friend? - The guy turned completely to look the child in the face. He chuckled, then burst into a long, loud laugh, as if he'd just heard the funniest story of the day. His foul-smelling mouth gaped open, pressed close to the child's face.
- Do you think we're in this corner? Because your mother abandoned you. Because that wretched woman doesn't need me anymore, and certainly not you. You're just a piece of trash for that despicable, materialistic woman. Nobody needs you. Nobody wants to be around you. Nobody! Understand, you piece of garbage? Stop asking such nonsense! - The man laughed again, his hoarse, grating laugh sounding unpleasant and jarring. He looked at the boy with utter contempt and sarcasm.
- Ugly, stupid, idiotic, disgusting, rubbish… - The man ignored the boy, but still hummed the words under his breath as he opened the milk bottle with his yellowed teeth.
Little Michael quietly left the room and climbed up to the cramped attic.
…
When the children in the park came and pulled him into a game, Kaiser agreed, running after them. Perhaps he enjoyed it, he couldn't remember. But then, the next day and the day after that, fewer and fewer people approached him until there was no one left. When Michael tried to approach them, they all ignored him.
"Did you see him burn those flowers?"
"He didn't say a word."
"He beat me up yesterday, I was bleeding."
"That's terrifying."
"Don't play with it anymore."
Some people don't say anything at all. They just disappear.
…
- You always make a lot of money, don't you? Want to join us? You'd be a great fit for the group.
The street kids huddled together in the slums, calling themselves friends, family, brothers. Michael made a fortune from a group he won through gambling on fights. He realized that if he was useful, he'd be kept on. There, they called him the strongest, a god, after he'd supposedly punched a gang member in the face. Chaos, shouting, celebrating. But something was wrong. Cigarettes, cigars, alcohol. They stole money to party, squander, and talk about depraved nonsense. Meanwhile, Kaiser just sat there, silent, then quietly left. This wasn't the kind of connection he wanted. Someone in the group had already figured it out. Through the knowing glances they exchanged, the knowing nods between them, he knew things would go back to how they were.
They should all be like him, street children, with foul-smelling bodies, tattered clothes, lacking care and attention… So why is he the only one who can't?
No one dared to come near anymore. Kaiser didn't care either. He only associated with a few guys to make money. It wouldn't be surprising if they betrayed him one day.
There's nothing left.
Perhaps my father was right; he's not a human being. Not a human being worthy of being desired by others.
_______________________
The TV was off. The lights were off. The pile of Coca-Cola cans lay on the cold floor, beginning to dry and harden, a filthy mess in stark contrast to the room's usual elegance. Munich blazed brightly in the dead of night. Michael lay on his back on the bed, his body relaxed, eerily calm and lifeless.
Ness has not yet responded.
He had reread their text messages hundreds of times. It was Ness who angered Kaiser with that photo. It was Ness who pretended to be innocent when deleting them. Ness with those stupid stickers. Ness was hiding something. Maybe Ness was even lying to his parents.
Ness. Ness. Ness. It's all Ness's fault.
Kaiser's only mistake was not ignoring him. Now he has to replay the image of the puppy laughing with some idiot over and over again.
"Damn, damn, damn!"
His lips moved, muttering almost incoherently.
"Ness feels the same way."
"Ness is no different at all."
His right hand slowly touched the tattoo on his neck.
The chain was still there, dragging him down into the abyss.
…
There were countless times Kaiser felt lonely even with Ness right beside him.
Contrary to expectations, Alexis was friendly and likeable. He quickly won everyone's affection. He had friends, and was the heart and soul of the team. Kaiser, on the other hand, couldn't connect with anyone without Ness. Yet Ness, with all his talent, built a solid system that served only the emperor. Kaiser became king, Ness became knight, and all the other members of Bastard Munchen were under his command. They only obeyed him, not Ness.
The signs had been there before. They were lurking in every corner. When he walked into the locker room, where Ness was already standing, chatting with his teammates. He laughed, his face flushed and strangely carefree. A defender patted him on the back, another put his arm around his shoulder, where Kaiser should have been. They laughed and talked happily, while he just stood there watching them. Ness still didn't notice him. Was he oblivious, or deliberately ignoring him?
A lump formed in his throat. He found it hard to breathe. For a moment, Kaiser felt Ness was very far away. A place where his voice couldn't reach, surrounded by the dark night, with only the biting cold remaining.
It'll be alright, won't it? You're still mine, aren't you? That stupid dog, the way it laughs out loud, showing its pretty fangs at Mensah's antics is so annoying. Disgusting.
Kaiser needed to do something, he had to do something. He could step forward, pull Ness away from the surrounding crowd. Or approach with a provocative remark, with his familiar wickedness, to assert his authoritative presence. “Ness, give me the handkerchief.” “Ness, let’s go, don’t talk to those idiotic clowns anymore.”
All of this only proved the emperor's craving for attention from his servant. So Kaiser just stood there, repeating his daily routines mechanically, strangely slowly, pretending nothing was wrong while his blue eyes discreetly observed the other's actions. If Ness cared about him, if Ness belonged to him, then he should sense his presence and return here immediately.
Either Ness is his, or it's simply someone else's.
"Ah! Kaiser has finished his practice. Let's go home together."
Thankfully, Ness still came back. Still looking at him with those warm, sparkling violet eyes.
Kaiser walked away as soon as Ness approached.
Perhaps it's just not the right time yet...
_______________________
Ping
Here it is. The puppy has returned to confess its mistake to its owner.
Puppyness: I sent it by mistake.
I've taken a lot of photos these past few days.
I don't think Kaiser wanted to see all of them.
You're mistaken. You had that much time to think, and you're using that excuse?
Kaiser: Oh
He mimicked the way the boy had just sent the message.
Kaiser: So what are you doing today?
He didn't even know what he was texting anymore. Ness must be very confused on the other end, even though he was used to the other person's unpredictable moods. Kaiser smirked when he saw the ellipsis seemed more urgent than before.
Puppyness: I went to the used bookstore I used to frequent.
You're with the guy in the picture, right?
Puppyness: Sounds a bit boring.
Everything remains exactly the same as before.
A seller …
He didn't even bother to read it. Skepticism, like a thick fog, obscured the subsequent messages.
Kaiser: Alone?
Puppyness: Oh no
I went with Lukas
I knew it. That's exactly it. Kaiser sneered. There's no more room for debate. That son of a bitch.
If I didn't ask, you wouldn't tell me, right?
Erase
Ping ping ping
The notification bells kept popping up, but what was the point of reading further when the suspicions were already confirmed? He couldn't continue this pointless conversation.
Why can't Ness do it? Why is Ness so useless? Ness should be reassuring Kaiser, not just focusing on Kaiser. He can't even do that. Is it that difficult? Still worried him, still smiled happily at everyone, and still forgot about Kaiser when he was immersed in the world she belonged to. If he hadn't been the one who came first, the boy would have belonged to someone else already. Damn it. His teeth clenched, his fingernails digging into his palms so hard it looked like they were about to draw blood.
If Ness could have done better, Kaiser wouldn't have had to stare at each last message for hours just to make sure it wasn't the end of their already tedious conversation. What if Ness suddenly became smart and didn't come back? Clearly, Ness didn't care about him as much as he thought. Because if that were the case, he would have messaged him when Kaiser wanted to message him. If they shared the same feelings, Kaiser wouldn't have had to wait, would he? Why should he message first when Ness should have? Now it's clear. Too clear…
Ping ping
Repeat the message again. I'm afraid the person deliberately ignoring it might actually forget.
Kaiser glanced at the phone on his pillow. His hand, heavy with emotion, opened the conversation, and Ness continued recounting his stupid day.
He wondered if he should let Ness, as always, end the conversation himself. Kaiser looked up at the ceiling as if it were the most interesting thing in the world before turning his gaze back to the only source of light in the room.
Puppyness: They sell a lot of things there.
I've chosen a few items.
Lukas...
It's Lukas again.
He felt this sensation was all too familiar. The first time he'd stolen something other than food, it was a forgotten watch. His heart pounded, he was stealthy, calculating. He brought it home, hid it under a pile of books, the unease still lingering, a constant nagging unease. Eight-year-old Michael, with minimal understanding of the world, knew it wasn't his. He sold it after two days. And he never hid stolen goods at home again.
You'll always be mine, right?
My fingers unconsciously started typing on the keyboard again.Ness's answer should have been unquestionable. Kaiser always has been, and always will be, his top priority; he himself had said so.
But what if Ness only felt pity for Kaiser? He would quickly realize Kaiser's question was a gesture demanding affection. Because he was Kaiser, Ness would always obey regardless of right or wrong; because he was Kaiser, he didn't even care about his own self-respect. And Kaiser knew the reason perfectly well, despite denying it countless times. Kaiser chuckled softly. Had he spoiled him into a truly fat cat? Spoiled him excessively, inflating his hateful ego and eroding its primal instincts.
He looked back at the words he had just written, reading each word over and over, devouring them.You're mine…right? Mine…isn't that right?” The stiff hand was just a few millimeters from the screen."Whose is it?" As if realizing something, he burst out laughing. At first, it was a suppressed giggle. Unable to hold it back, he sat up abruptly, a long, almost insane, roar of laughter. He laughed so hard he rolled around on the bed, his whole body shaking uncontrollably. Tears welled up. For the first time, Kaiser had laughed so heartily, and the ridiculous thing was his own life. He would die laughing. Then the laughter faded, becoming a choked, groaning sound in his throat. For a fleeting moment, he recognized the laughter of his wretched father. So that's it. They say thieves are most angry when their belongings are stolen. How awful. Because that day, on the soccer field, he had stolen the boy's heart.
The boy grabbed the phone that had been tossed somewhere on the pile of blankets. He quickly and decisively locked it.
Erase
Alexis Ness, the unfortunate victim manipulated by the emperor's illusion created by the thief Kaiser. Ultimately, those feelings, those gestures of care, even these text messages, were all stolen. And stolen things… never truly belong to you.
"That's right."
The thought came to him suddenly, shattering his already shaky belief.
Perhaps… Ness doesn’t belong to Kaiser. Ness never did.
Puppyness:I think we could buy a new rug for the living room.
A fit of rage surged through him, consuming his mind, drowning out every thought. Why would Ness dare? While he was here. Alone, in Munich, staring at the ceiling for hours like an idiot, only to feel uneasy about Ness, and he was talking about some damn carpet. Why was only Kaiser to suffer this? Why not Ness? Why?
His fingers typed wildly and uncontrollably. He pressed the send button haphazardly. The action was violent and frantic.
Kaiser: Since when did you have the right to decide that?
The words just flowed out without stopping.
Kaiser: Do you think I need this nonsense?
If possible, you should be more helpful in the match.
Stop, Michael Kaiser
Puppyness: I'm sorry
Kaiser: I don't need a weakling who's sick all the time.
Stop it.
Kaiser: Refuse
That's not true, he's not useless.
Kaiser: You're such a nuisance, Ness!
Don't do that.
Kaiser: GET OUT!
You again…
Puppyness: I'm sorry, Kaiser
…
…
…
Ness was active 1 hour ago
The conversation was over. It was over. Kaiser reread their messages one last time, then turned off notifications and put his phone on silent mode. He drained the can of Coca-Cola beside his bed. The faint scent of wood still lingered in the room.
Kaiser felt an unusual sense of relief. His body sank deep into the mattress. His muscles relaxed, loosening. The rough patches on the monochrome ceiling twisted into distorted shapes. He certainly wasn't the one who told the painter to paint in the Van Gogh style; it was probably Ness, again, it was still Ness. He remembered their first meeting on the pitch, the training sessions from the U16 Bastard München team to the national U20 team. Ness was still there, in everything, still smiling sweetly. Exactly the same as a week ago, when he returned to Hamburg. He silently marveled at how long a week had been, enough to shatter everything, once again. Now everything felt strange. As if he were looking into someone else's memory. No pain, no regret, not enough to call it a loss.
Like a hot ball being immersed in water, thoughts, anger, and jealousy suddenly vanish as if they never existed.
The storm has passed, and the sea is calm.
This might very well be the last time Ness texts him. Or he'll be back the next day. Or never… What does it matter? He lay there, his mind blank. Letting his consciousness drift away from his body. As if he'd just shed a burden. As if nothing ever existed.
The North Sea remains gray and cold.
Kaiser quickly fell asleep. As always.