Chapter Text
Pick Up
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
you have 23 ticks to show up or I am taking this to someone else
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Re: Pick Up
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
I have some questions:
- Show up where?
- What is “this”?
- Who are You?
If this is about the crabs do not hesitate to take them somewhere else! We never wanted them in the first place. In fact, we’d love to never have to hear about the crabs again.
Please.
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Re: Pick Up
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
this dead guy. you picked the spot
what fucking crabs?
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Re: Re: Re: Pick Up
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
No, I’m fairly certain we didn’t order in a dead guy. We’re mostly not that kind of establishment.
Also, I’m afraid there is no previous contact to your signature in our log—meaning you’re probably looking for someone else.
Don’t worry about the crabs.
What’s wrong with your s@?
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Pick Up
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
there’s nothing wrong with it
you’re not Rinto?
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pick Up
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
Snail’s got an extra s instead of a quadrant tag, that’s what’s wrong with it. Is that a ship tag?
I am not Rinto. This is a restaurant.
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pick Up
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
independent mobile station
well. fuck. east blue?
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pick Up
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
Never seen one look like that before
Yes. East Blue. READ THE TAGS
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pick Up
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
it’s old
good luck with your crabs
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pick Up
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
Good luck with that dead guy!
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Addendum
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
Hey, something just occurred to me
Did you confess to murder in a station-to-station message?
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Addendum
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
no
i have a permit
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Re: Re: Addendum
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
A murder-permit? Or a dead people handling permit? Are you an undertaker? Didn’t know we even had those.
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
Bounty hunter
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
That makes more sense. So, did you get hold of the right person? For your dead guy?
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
yes
did you get crabs?
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
Don’t say it like that.
And, if you were paying attention, you’d have noted that I don’t WANT the crabs. We’ve just been beset by very insistent crab-salespeople. They’re extremely sub-par crabs. I’m pretty sure they’re grown in a vat in some cargo ship. And they can claim they’re planet-grown all they want—I know a vatcrab when I see one! And we will NOT be serving that shit!
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
crab like crab
if you thought i murdered someone what makes you think i’d then tell you when asked?
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
If you where dumb enough to talk about it in an unsecured (and unverified, can’t overstate how you did send that to us by mistake!) channel, I figured you might be dumb enough to continue. And it’s not like “I have a permit” really dissuades any suspicions. For all I know you’re just lying about that.
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
you’re the one who keeps contacting me
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
I’m incredibly unfathomably BORED
Even if you are a crazy murderer that’s at least some excitement. A nice break from endless booking requests and arguing with suppliers. You’d think that five years into it they’d have understood that—yes, we do in fact want the exact same spices—no, we don’t want to try your new blend, you shouldn’t be blending rosemary with anything it’s FUCKING ROSEMARY. And yet! Every month, this same dance. It’s as if the moment they look away from their screen they forget everything that transpired and we have to start over from a blank slate again.
Unfortunately, it’s damn fine rosemary.
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
can’t relate
to the rosemary. i get the bored bit
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
Bounty hunting getting boring?
How does that even work? You just drift around until you stumble upon someone who matches the posters? Space is pretty big.
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
pretty much. most pirates tend to leave a nice trail to follow, so if you just pay attention it’s easy. sometimes they’ll come right to you, if you play your cards right
it’s the in-between bits that are boring.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
Pirates, huh? That’s who you’re hunting?
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
who else do you think racks up bounties
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ZEFF
Stop using the station snail to chat with unidentified pirate hunters, we can all read that
SANJI
I’M BORED
Do you still have a bounty, old man?
ZEFF
Don’t piss me off, little eggplant
SANJI
THEN LET ME BACK INTO MY KITCHEN
ZEFF
YOUR kitchen? OVER MY DEAD BODY
SANJI
THAT CAN BE ARRANGED
ZEFF
Get the damn orders settled, and stop talking to the bounty hunter and MAYBE, I’ll upgrade you to dishwasher by tomorrow
SANJI
Oh how gracious, how magnanimous! oh to be allowed to wash your dishes—I can hardly WAIT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
From: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
Do you take requests?
Comm.Dept BRT-1E
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[Undelivered>ERROR 808] Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Addendum
To: BRT-1E [S-EB-667-880]
From: DMN-3 [Ss-056-578-223]
thought you were a restaurant?
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