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The last few weeks were the best of Norm's life! He still couldn't believe it was really happening to him. The fact that the Council didn't took notice of the wish and get him arrested could mean only one of two things. Ether not a single other genie was lucky enough to meet someone to wish for them to become their own master or someone who was lucky, also was smart enough to not tell anyone about this giant loophole.
Ether way he's definitely not going to be the one to tell anyone about it. Maybe it's unfair towards other genies, but it's not like he's willing to risk sacrificing himself and close this door for anyone else if he gets caught.
He spent those last few weeks travelling around both Magic and Human Worlds, seeing things he never got the chance to see before. He haven't been in his lamp since he got free, but now that he was back, for the first time in his life it felt not like a prison but like home. Probably because his powers were unlocked for him to the full potential and he could use them to make this place his own, but that's besides the point.
He was just reorganizing his bookshelf when he noticed a purple book, that he knows he's not supposed to have. Da Rules. He took out the piece of paper from it that turned out to be a picture of Turner and his fairies. And now he remembered why he has it! That green one gave it to him, because it didn't have any pictures.
And memories of that reminded him of someone else. Crocker.
The guy really gave him the most life-changing gift anyone can give to a genie and Norm just vanished on him. And now it would be weird of him to come back like nothing happened. And what is he supposed to say? "Hi, remember how I made fun of you for a week and when you gifted me the power to do whatever I want, I disappeared without warning and didn't contact you for almost a month? Yeah, I'm back now and want to repay you so I don't feel guilty. What do you want?"
No, that would be way too awkward. Besides, he already knows what the guy wants. Capture a fairy. And it's much simpler said than done. He can't just teleport random fairy without his magic being easily tracked and even if he could, that wouldn't be the way Crocker would appreciate. He needed to come up with something else.
He started flipping through the pages of Da Rules trying to find something useful, but most of information there was really boring and unhelpful. Until he got to the section about godchildren losing their godparents. Some paragraphs really caught his attention.
Only godchildren can know about existence of the fairies. Memories of the fairies in any other human must be erased immediately. Only The Keeper of Da Rules has the authority to make exceptions to this rule.
That's interesting. Since Crocker mentioned that he was hunting fairies for several decades now, that could only mean that he's somehow an exception to this rule. Norm took note of this information and kept reading.
If the fairy and/or a godchild makes the fairy quit, everything that a godchild had wished for will be taken away alongside any magical presence in their household. Afterwards any fairy and other magical being will be able to go through a "Fairy Idol" and if the winner is not a fairy, they will become one, and will be assigned to the same child that said fairy was assigned to before they quit, in an attempt to make them happy.
So, "other magical being" can become a godparent, huh? No wonder they don't allow anyone else to read their rule book. Well, that would take care of ruining Turner's life, but it still leaves him with dept to Crocker. So he kept reading.
If the fairies are accidentally revealed to a human, The Keeper of Da Rules will appear and take them away forever. They will wipe the godchild's memory and the memory of every other human involved.
Jackpot! Norm smiled, a perfect plan forming in his head. He just needed to do some snooping around first.
***
After some detective work, he found out that Turner has been acting ungratefully towards his fairies for several days now, which made his plan much simpler to achieve. And that he also has two human best friends, but one of them is way too smart to manipulate. So he left his lamp in the room of the blonde kid, waiting for him to find it. And it didn't take long for him to do it.
"What's this? I don't remember having a lava lamp. Maybe it's dad's? But it so dusty, though," good thing the lamp can serve only one master at the time, so then the kid rubbed it, it didn't count. Norm still conjured up a purple smoke to make his entrance more dramatic, making kid cough.
"Greetings, lucky human! I'm Norm, the all-powerful Genie! And I will grant you three wishes," for a first time in his life he was actually excited to say that.
"No way! You are like magical and stuff! That's so awesome!" kid looked at him with stars in his eyes, that's going to be easier than he thought. "And I can wish for whatever I want?"
"Sure thing, kiddo, but let's not waste my magic on something small like this," Norm GONGed up a sandwich and gave it to him.
"How did you know I was going to wish for it?" he asked and took a big bite without waiting for an answer.
"I told you, I'm all-powerful," he replied with a smile and wink. "And now, you can ask for something much greater than that, like-" but he was interrupted.
"Like for me and my best friend Timmy to skip the school today and go on a super awesome adventure instead!?"
"Yes!" Norm couldn't believe his luck. "That's exactly what I was going to suggest! Just give me a few minutes to get your friend here."
"Sure thing!" he replied and with a loud GONG Norm was gone.
He teleported right next to the Turner's window and saw him slamming the door on his fairies which was just perfect. He appeared in front of him hiding himself with his powers from everybody else. "Hello, Timmy."
"Agh! What are you doing here!? Cos-" but Norm quickly turned off the volume of his voice with his magic.
"Wait, before you do something dumb, hear me out first. I've got myself a new master, you know him," he showed him the picture and Turner said something but his voice was still gone. "Right, sorry about that," and he made him able to speak again.
"I said, if your new master is Chester, when why are you here?"
"Good question. You see, your friend over here wished for you two to, and I quote, skip the school today and go on a super awesome adventure instead. So I'm here to grant his wish," he snapped his fingers and a clone of Turner appeared next to him.
"Oh noooo, I have dealt with clones before and they never work the way you want them to! I think I'll pass."
"Are you sure? Because this one wasn't made by fairy to teach you to be responsible, but to do all your homework and know all the answers to today's pop quiz."
"Wait, really?" Turner asked intrigued.
"Yup, but if you really don't want to, I guess I could just tell poor Chester that this clone is a real you and they can go have fun instead."
"No, I changed my mind, I can't just leave my best friend hanging. Let's go!"
Children are so easy to manipulate it's embarrassing. "Great," Norm smiled at him and GONGed them to Chester's room.
Step one of his plan complete.
***
Watching both screens was incredibly fun. On one Turner and his friend were having a time of their lives. And on the other his clone was torturing his beloved fairies.
"That's enough!" Norm's thoughts were interrupted by a voice of the pink fairy. "Sport, you know that we love you, but you can't keep acting like a brat and expect us to just accept it!"
"Yeah, what she said," agreed the green one. It was finally happening.
"Well maybe I wouldn't act like that, if you two were actually good at your job!" Timmy's clone replied angrily. "Aren't you supposed to be my godPARENTS!" he put emphasise on that word. "It's not my fault all you can do is nag and berate me!"
"We're trying our best to be there for you and support you."
"Well, your best is not good enough!"
"Timmy, when you talk to us like that, you really make me want to quit being your godparent!"
"Good, because I don't want you two as my godparents anymore! In fact, I wish you weren't my godparents!"
"Fine! In that case, we quit! Come on, Cosmo, we're leaving!"
"Okay. Bye, Timmy!" the green one replied cheerfully and with that they were gone. Most of stuff from his room vanished as well.
And just in time too, since real Turner and his friend were ready to return to their homes.
Norm GONGed next to the two happy boys. "So, did you have fun?"
"You bet! It was so cool, we should do this more often," Chester replied happily.
"Yeah, I can't believe I'm saying this, but thanks, Norm. We had a great time," Turner turned to his friend. "And who knows, maybe the next time will be much sooner than you think."
"Well, isn't it nice?" Norm said with fake smile. "Everyone had fun today, some more than others. But it's time for both of you to go home."
"Okay, see ya tomorrow, Timmy!"
"Bye!" and he GONGed Turner back to his house.
Chester kept telling him about how awesome their day was and Norm pretended to listen to him. But after fifteen minutes his patience was running out. "And now I think, I should give your lamp to Timmy next, so he can also get to make wishes!"
"Wow, slow down there, kiddo, you only used one wish out of three! You can think about that later."
"You right, but I don't know what else to wish for," he looked deep in thought. "Can I wish for the same thing again?"
"No," that was a lie, but the kid didn't need to know that. He looked around the room, needing something quick to occupy his attention long enough for him to leave for the competition. "Is that your dad?" he pointed at the newspaper clipping with The Worst Baseball Player in the World written on it.
"Yeah, but he isn't that bad of a player! It's just journalists like to make really catchy headlines and ruin lives of other people," Chester sounded really upset. "Wait, can I wish for him to be the best baseball player in the world instead?"
"Sure you can, kid," Norm replied cheerfully, finally having something useful. "And since it'll make both of your lives so much better, you wouldn't mind me leaving for a bit before your last wish to take care of something, right?"
"Sure thing," the kid looked at him with so much trust he kind of felt bad for using him like that.
"Great!" Norm snapped his fingers and the trailer changed into a massive mansion. "Have fun with your new better life," and with a loud GONG he was gone.
Step two of his plan complete.
***
The registration line felt like it was going to last forever. And yet there was almost no other non fairy contestants. He thought he saw maybe several pixies, but that's it. That made him feel nervous, but he already come so far to stop now.
"Next!" shouted a bald fairy in purple. It was his turn, so he flew after him to the next room. Inside there was a giant buff fairy at the table that was filled with documents. There was a desk plaque with The Keeper of Da Rules Jorgen Von Strangle written on it.
He looked up from the paper only to immediately look down at it again. "Genies not allowed to compete. Call in the next one," but just before the purple fairy could leave, Norm stopped him.
"What do you mean, not allowed?" he said angrily. "Your rule book clearly says that other magical beings can compete and I'm clearly a magical being!"
"Really?" he asked sounding sceptical. "Do you have a proof of it saying that?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do," he GONGed the book from his bookshelf in the lamp and opened it on the correct page.
That made Jorgen stand up in anger, towering at least a foot over him. "Where did you get it!? Did you steal it!?" he slammed his hands on the table making Norm cringe.
"No," he tried to sound clam, but inside he was terrified. "One of the fairies gave it to me."
"There isn't a fairy dumb enough to give it to you! Give me that," and he snatched the book from his hands. He opened it on the first page and immediately his anger turned into disappointment. "Damn it, Cosmo," he mumbled, but Norm was still able to hear it. "Tell you what, I will allow you to compete, but on one condition. You won't tell anyone magical about how you got the book and what it says. Got it?"
And it seems that it was his only chance to be accepted. "Yes, loud and clear."
"Name?"
"Norm the Genie."
"Rehearsals will start tomorrow and the competition will be held next week," he gave him a paper with all the necessary information. "Now get out. And, Binky, call in the next one," on the way out Norm heard him say quietly. "First pixies, now a genie, who's next? The anti-fairy? The honor of this position..."
Well, he really hoped that guy wouldn't be the judge.
***
Rehearsals went great. And as it turned out most of the contents didn't even want to win the position. They just really wanted to sing on live TV. Which was a great news.
What Norm didn't expect to happen was all the cheering he got then he was practicing his song. He knew he had a great voice, but hearing his competitors admit that was quite fluttering.
The contest was about to start. He was one of the last contestants to perform, so he had some time to get prepared. He was almost at the finish line, but that was the point then his luck has run out.
With a POOF Jorgen appeared in front of him with the last three people he wanted to see: Turner and his two fairies. "Norm the Genie!" and he sounded really pissed. Norm felt a shatter run down his spine. "You are under arrest for intervening with the lives of a fairy godparents and their godchild. You must return to your lamp and it will be placed in the Fairy Prison for the foreseeable future!"
"Ha! Take that, loser!" Turner looked really proud of himself.
"Timmy, language," the pink one rolled her eyes.
"How did you even get here?" Norm asked annoyed. "All of your magic sources were taken away!"
"That's none of your business," he stuck out his tongue at him. "All you need to know is that whatever you were planning has failed!"
"You little-"
"Silence! You will not waste my time on this nonsense," Jorgen grabbed him by the arm. "You must take us to your lamp immediately."
Norm was about to do something ether incredibly brilliant or cosmically stupid. "There's no need to take you anywhere," he snapped his fingers, his lamp appeared in his hand and the fake one took it's place on Chester's table. "Here you go."
"Do you think I'm dumb? You will not fool me with your cheep tricks, I know how your kind works!"
It was really hard to pretend to be disappointed. "Fine, you got me," he snapped his fingers again and teleported them to Chester's room.
"Timmy! And Norm! And... others?" the kid looked confused at sudden appearance of the small group. "What are you doing here?"
"Nevermind that," Jorgen answered. "Where is his lamp?"
"Right here, sir," he took the fake one and tried to give it to him, but he took a few steps back.
"No, you keep holding it," he let go of Norm's arm, pushed him closer to the kid and pointed his wand at him. "And now you, grant how many wishes this kid still has and don't even think to try something funny!"
"Okay, kid," he said rolling his eyes. "You only have one wish left, so don't do something stupid."
"Oh, I already know, what I'm going to wish for. This famous life is even worse than the one we had before! I wish to unwish my last wish!"
"Could have phrased it better, but whatever," with a loud GONG the mansion they were in turned back into the trailer. Norm pretended to be sucked in the fake lamp, turned invisible and teleported outside by the window to see if his ruse has worked.
Jorgen took the fake lamp from Chester and turned to the other two fairies. "If you really want a chance to become Turner's godparents again, you should hurry up, one of the contestants has just dropped out," he shook it and turned to Turner. "As for you, you will wait in the Human World for the result."
"But I want to be there to support them!"
"It's okay, Sport," the pink one smiled softly down at him. "We will do our best for you."
"Yeah!" the green one agreed. "Then we sing a duet, we're unstoppable!" he hugged his wife and with a POOF they both disappeared.
"Wait, Timmy, are those fairies?" Chester asked confused. "I didn't know they actually exist."
"And you won't know for long," Jorgen took out a memory wiper and used it on him before disappearing as well.
Well, fake lamp worked for now and Norm really didn't want to stay around and find out what would happen if he gets caught after that. He needed to go somewhere else. And there was only one place that he could think of.
***
The first thing Norm noticed in the Crocker Cave was the man himself lying unconscious on the floor. Good thing he was still moving and making sounds, showing that he's still alive.
Norm flew above him and shook him by the shoulders. "Good morning, sunshine."
"N-norm?" Crocker opened his eyes, but quickly closed them in pain. "What happened?" he pressed his palm to the back of his head.
"I don't know, I just got here," he helped him sit up. "Looks like you got knocked out."
"Yeah, I can feel that," he was in too much pain to successfully sound sarcastic. At least there was no blood.
"Here, let me try something," Norm carefully pressed his palm to his cheek, concentrating. Suddenly Crocker's face relaxed, he let out a sigh and leaned closer. When the healing was done he let him go.
This time when he opened his eyes there was no pain. "I thought I would never see you again," he whispered in awe.
"Sorry about that," he replied quietly, both not knowing what else to say.
"No!" Crocker yelled suddenly, stood up and ran towards the computer. He started to type really fast, mumbling something unintelligible to himself, leaving Norm confused. "Fuck!"
He flew closer to see what he was doing. "What's wrong?"
"A lot of things," he replied, still typing. He opened up some sort of blueprints on the screens. "But not everything," he let out a sigh of relief, took off his glasses and hid his face in his hands. His whole body started to shake and for a moment Norm thought he was crying, until he heard him laugh hysterically. It took him almost a minute to calm down and look up at him. "Why are you here anyway?" Crocker asked breathless.
"It's a long story," Norm answered not sure where to start. "Do you wanna go to the bar?"
***
"And now that I have been "arrested" by fairy authorities, I'm afraid to even imagine what will happen if anyone finds out I'm still free," he finished drinking his fourth shot.
"Yeah, that's really bad," Crocker said, taking a small sip of his still first cocktail. "What are you planning to do now?"
"Honestly, I have no idea. Stay in the Human World mostly, since it'll be safer. Most beings in the Magic World don't care enough about fairies and their laws to turn me in, but it still too dangerous to be out there in the open."
"Sorry if I sound rude, but why did you want to become Turner's FAIRY! GOD! PARENT! in the first place? I understand that it would've made his life worse, but wouldn't it mean that you'd be stuck granting his wishes?"
"That wasn't the end goal. The plan was for me to expose that he has "fairy" in front of everyone, forcing so called The Keeper of Da Rules to appear to erase everyone's memories and giving you the chance to capture not just any fairy, but the de facto leader of the Fairy World himself."
"So..." Crocker turned away from him to look at his drink, his face flushed. "You did all this for me?" his voice sounded small.
"I mean, kind of? But not really. Don't get too excited, it didn't work anyway."
"Still, that's the nicest thing anyone done for me in years," he said with melancholic smile. "Thank you."
Somehow this information only made him feel worse. "I just don't understand how Turner was able to get there. I saw all of his magic sources disappear with my own eyes. It should have been impossible," Norm said rubbing his eyes in frustration.
"Oh, he used my portal to the FAIRY! World," Crocker said nonchalantly.
"Excuse me, what!? You have a portal to the Fairy World!?"
"Well, not anymore. My guess is that Turner told someone up there that I built it, so that's why it disappeared before you woke me up."
"And you just fine with that?"
"Fine?" Crocker laughed hysterically. "Oh no, I'm devastated. But fortunately FAIRIES! are terrible at disposing of paperwork, so I still have all of my blueprints for it. It'll take me at least a year to rebuild it, but it's not as bad as it could have been."
"But you had a fully functional portal and you haven't used it? Why?" Norm looked at him confused.
"To be honest, I expected something to go wrong with it. I was able to find the correct coordinates only a few days ago, so it was still too dangerous to go through unprepared. Plus, it's only worked one way and I couldn't go there without solid plan. And I guess I was right, something did go wrong, just not the things I thought out."
"And it's all my fault," he realised suddenly. "If I didn't force Turner to find some other way there, he wouldn't have found out about your portal and told them. Fuck, I'm so sorry," he laid face down on the counter.
"Hey, it's not that bad," Crocker put his hand on his shoulder, trying to cheer him up. "I told you, I expected something like this to happen. And I can rebuild it. It was an old model anyway, so now I can build a new and updated version of it! I can even build two of them simultaneously and patent them!"
"I have no idea what that means," he mumbled.
"Okay, nevermind. What I'm trying to say is you don't need to apologise."
"But I do," he looked at him apologetic. "I came up with this whole stupid plan to repay you for what you did for me. And what I ended up doing is making both of our lives worse!"
"First time?"
"I'm serious!"
"Okay. I forgive you," he said simply.
"Why are you so nice to me?"
"That's how friends are to each other. Right?" Crocker looked unsure.
Norm gave him a sad smile. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He raised his fifth shot. "To being a loser."
Crocker clinked their glasses together. "Cheers."
"I still want to do something for you."
"You don't need to do anything."
"Please, there's must be something that you need."
"Maybe, but I can't think of anything right now."
"Okay," Norm took a deep breath. "Okay, how about this? Then you think of something I can do for you, you can say my name and I will appear as soon as I can to grant whatever wish you'll have. That way you can have as much time as you need to think of something."
""Say your name"? What, like Beetlejuice?" Crocker said with a smirk.
"What?" Norm looked both confused and disgusted.
"Sorry, nevermind. Yeah, we can do that."
"Great," he drunk his last shot, stood up and left some money on the counter. "I'll see you then. Bye, Crocker."
"Bye, Norm."
And with a GONG he was gone. Crocker turned back to his glass and finished it with a one gulp. Man, he hated the taste of alcohol. Maybe next time they'll meet some place nicer and under different circumstances.