Work Text:
It was a cold February evening and like was routine for him , Sieun was visiting Suho.
What was unusual about the visit was that instead of sitting outside the hospital room , Sieun was inside for a change and sitting beside him , the reason for the change of routine was due to him feeling more deserving of staying closer to Suho , and partially due to him being paranoid about Suho’s condition worsening again and not being there for him.
It still felt surreal to an extend , being so close to him, if he wanted to, if he found the courage rather, he could hold Suho’s cold hand in his hands, something that Sieun wished to do whilst when Suho was awake, sometimes he wondered if he had realized his feelings sooner ,would he have confessed? Would Suho have reciprocated his feelings ? Would he have rejected him kindly ?Would he have teased him ?
He sat there watching his best friend’s unmoving body , Suho looked peaceful almost, angelic even. It felt so wrong, it pained him seeing Suho like this.
At some point the silence and the constant beeping of the machines felt too heavy. He could’ve gone out the room and sat in front of it like he did before but he didn’t, wouldn’t, he felt grounded there, like there was something keeping him rooted to that spot.
Sieun wondered if talking to Suho would have lessen the noise , the silence.
He tried to talk to him at some point during the visits but couldn’t get any words out. Everything he tried to tell Suho felt meaningless, talking to him directly felt too real.
Taking a deep breath, exhaled and tried to find the courage to say something anything , even if he found the strength to talk what would he even say? Still he decides to hold Suho’s hand, rather gently putting his hand over Suho’s , kind of hoping the other boy would feel even a little bit of his warmth.
A beat passes, Sieun can feel his eyes start to burn.
«I should’ve told you sooner but…»
A tear ran down his face.
«I think I fell in love with you, Suho-yah.»
Now the tears were falling uncontrollably.
«I’m sorry.»