Chapter Text
(July, seven years ago.
It starts, like most life-altering events do, in a bar.
Izuku turns twenty in the midst of a chaotic period in his life where he isn’t depressed but not exactly all there, either. Despite his protests, he ends up being dragged to a bar where the drinks are a little too overpriced and the music is just a little too loud.
Katsuki pays for the drinks, insisting they need to have a drinking competition sometime that night while Tenya scolds him for trying to get wasted when he has a shift the next day. Ochako’s cheering his childhood friend on with Eijirou’s support, and Shouto’s sitting beside Izuku like a silent anchor of support amidst the chaos around them.
It’s way too loud and way too bright for Izuku’s liking, yet the sparkling lights reflecting off the glass in his hands pale in comparison to the way they reflect in Shouto’s eyes.
Turquoise blue and marble gray shine like the finest of jewels as Shouto laughs at the jokes his friends say, like there’s not the weight on his shoulder of a new agency in his name that he’s been upset about for weeks. Izuku’s mesmerized by their sparkle as they glance from person to person until they land on him, and then he’s mesmerized by the stunning smile that kills women and men alike daily.
It’s a stunning smile that shows the ghost of dimples and smile lines around his eyes, and one that sends Izuku’s heart flipping in his chest for some reason.
“Did you hear that Hagakure and Ojiro finally went on a date last week?” Ochako asked, eyes bright while Tenya facepalmed beside her.
“We really shouldn’t gossip about our friends like this–”
“I was just about to say something about that!” Eijirou shouted, slamming his hands down on the table excitedly. “Man, I can’t believe it took them this long! I was sure they’d get together at graduation, too.”
“Be careful,” Katsuki chided as he pushed Eijirou’s drink back.
“Oops.”
Izuku rolled his eyes as he lifted his drink to his mouth. Leaning in a little closer into Shouto’s space, he whispered, “It’s like the universe is trying to tell them something.”
Shouto snorted softly and hid his smile behind his own drink, gently nudging Izuku’s arm with his elbow in acknowledgment.
“They’ll come around. Hopefully.”
“At least they finally got their shit together,” Katsuki said, eyes darting suspiciously to Eijirou before landing on Izuku. “And you? When are you going to get your shit together?”
Ochako suddenly stopped laughing, and Shouto stiffened beside Izuku.
Drawing his brows together, Izuku asked, “What are you talking about?”
“You’re doing a lot of laughing for a guy that hasn’t gone out on a single date in his entire life.”
“Look who’s talking.”
Katsuki shrugged and subtly inched closer to Eijirou, who stared at him curiously. “I’m not worried about getting what I want because I know I’ll get it eventually. But you’re clueless.”
“Hey!”
“I agree, but I’m sort of more interested in Iida dating,” Eijirou said with a curious look at a scared looking Tenya. “Who did you go out with?”
“That’s not really important–”
“He and Yaoyorozu humored their parents by trying to go on a date but it didn’t work out because she’s in love with Jirou,” Ochako said with a dismissive wave of her hands. “That’s old news, though.”
“That’s too bad. You two would’ve had such pretty babies.” Eijirou gasped before pointing at Izuku. “You should date someone pretty to make pretty babies!”
“He should date someone for their heart, not for the children they can give him,” Tenya corrected with a disapproving look at Eijirou.
“Yeah, but he kind of has a point,” Ochako said with a crooked smile as she nervously played with a long strand of hair. “Pretty babies are a plus.”
“You should date Melissa.”
Katsuki scoffed. “And bring more nerd babies in the world? No thanks. Round face over there would be a better option if you want someone with heart and pretty babies.”
Ochako choked on her spit at the same time Izuku choked on his drink, both flushing red and letting out identical shouts of, “Hey!”
“Or,” Eijirou said, waving a finger in the air, “If you’re interested, I think Iida would make a dashing companion.”
Clearing his throat and willing the blush away, Izuku said, “While I think he’s very handsome and kind, I have no romantic interest in Tenya. No offense, Tenya.”
Tenya nodded aggressively. “Yes, I agree!”
“Or what about me?”
Izuku fumbled with his glass as he snapped his attention to Shouto, fixing him with a wide-eyed gaze.
“Huh?”
Shouto looked shocked too, fingertips on his lips like he hadn’t meant to say anything. Katsuki was looking at him suspiciously, like he was trying to put together a puzzle with missing pieces.
“I…” Shouto cleared his throat, a small nervous smile appearing on his face as he shook his head. “Sorry. That came out without warning. I only said my name because you were listing our friends off.”
“Right…” Izuku said slowly, heart beating quickly in his chest and his cheeks suddenly warm. “Well, I…you are kind…”
Shouto put a hand up to stop him. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say a word. Please ignore that I even said anything.”
“Um. Okay…”
Shouto flashed him a small wry smile before tipping his head back to finish his drink, grimacing as the alcohol poured down his throat. Izuku couldn’t take his eyes off of him, even as Tenya cleared his throat and shifted the conversation over to the topic of Eijirou’s steady rise in the hero charts.
Shouto didn’t dare meet his eye for the rest of the night, and Izuku couldn’t stop thinking about the implications of it all for weeks after. Then the weeks became months, months became years, and Izuku wished he would’ve realized sooner what Shouto’s tipsy question truly meant when he asked it.)
At twenty-seven-years old, Izuku liked to think he had most of his life figured out.
After years of denying his limbs didn’t ache to save people and that teaching was his true love, he was granted another opportunity to save people like his heart still craved. Settling into a life as both a pro-hero and a teacher was challenging at times, but after two years he had more or less mastered juggling his work life along with his free time. Hence having ‘most’ of his life figured out.
He still hadn’t quite figured out how to balance the ‘love’ part of his life, though that was mostly due to bad timing.
Keys turning in the lock to his apartment, Izuku stepped through the door with a grimace. The navy blue duffel bag full of dirty garments and toiletries slid off his shoulder as he pushed the door closed, landing on the floor with a heavy thump.
The first thing Izuku noticed when he tossed his keys into the bowl sitting at the entrance was the green Deku-themed key chain with multiple keys attached. Then he noticed the aqua-blue converse sitting beside white running shoes, neatly placed beside Izuku’s own running sneakers and dress shoes.
A smile automatically crossed his features as he slipped his sneakers off. “Shouto? Are you home?”
A few seconds passed before Shouto turned the corner into the hallway, eyes wide and lips parted in surprise.
“Izuku. You’re home early.”
“I know. Turns out that I’m just too good at my job or something,” Izuku joked as he stood back up. Smile widening, he folded his arms across his chest. “I thought you were supposed to be working today.”
Grimacing, Shouto grabbed the towel slung over his shoulders and rubbed his red hair. “There may have been a mishap involving a dumpster downtown.”
Izuku let out a startled laugh before clapping his hands over his mouth. “No way. Don’t tell me that Shouto Todoroki, Japan’s number two hero, was thrown into a dumpster?”
“Fine. Then I won’t tell you.”
Izuku burst out laughing at the disgruntled scowl on Shouto’s face, his cheeks hurting from smiling so much. “I’m so sorry, but that’s sort of priceless. God, did you get hurt?”
“Only from your laughter.”
“Shouto,” he whined, still grinning. “Come on. Don’t be like that! I promise I won’t laugh anymore.”
“Doubtful,” Shouto deadpanned before shaking his head. “I didn’t get physically hurt, but the teasing from Kaminari and Shinsou was enough to emotionally hurt me more than my father raising me.”
Izuku choked on his laugh, horrified amusement filling his veins as Shouto flashed him a small, smug smile.
“Oh my god, that is horrible.”
“It made you laugh for a good reason, though.”
“That is not a good reason,” Izuku countered with a shake of his head. Slipping his white slippers on, he made his way over to Shouto. “That still doesn’t explain why you’re home early.”
Shouto raised his brows. “Is emotional damage not enough of a reason to go home early?”
“Yes, but not for you. I’ve seen you work through the flu and stab wounds,” Izuku pointed out with a finger poke to his chest. “Come on, spill.”
Shouto flashed him an unimpressed look. “The stab wound was one time. And trust me, I wish it was for a better reason too. But I’m not lying. I got sent home because the villain flung me off a twenty-story building into a dumpster.”
Izuku’s amusement faded into horror as Shouto finished talking. “Off a building?! I thought you said you were tossed from the ground, not a freaking skyscraper!”
“An apartment building, not a sky scraper,” Shouto corrected as Izuku took his face into his hands and worriedly inspected it. “Izuku. Please. That’s really not necessary. The agency doctor said I’m fine.”
Pushing aside his white bangs, Izuku gasped. “You have a bruise here…”
Shouto pushed his hand away and looked at him exasperatedly. “Yes, but that's because I hit my head on the corner of the bathroom sink trying to pick up my socks last night. I have no dumpster injuries other than wounded pride.”
“So why were you sent home?”
“Because Inasa and Momo saw it happen and they’ve made it their mission to fret over the most minimal things,” Shouto deadpanned.
Ignoring the churning in his gut at the mention of Inasa, Izuku frowned and pinched Shouto’s left cheek. “I wouldn’t call getting thrown off a twenty-story building something minimal. You could’ve gotten really hurt.”
“But I didn’t.”
“Did you use your quirk to soften the fall at least?”
“Obviously. That’s why I don’t have broken bones,” Shouto said like it was obvious. “Seriously, relax. I’m fine. I was actually planning to use the afternoon off to buy groceries.”
“Groceries? Why?”
“Because we’re running low on some things.”
Izuku watched as Shouto walked into the kitchen, the oversized navy blue crewneck on his body brushing against his thighs. Inasa must have dropped by during Izuku’s two-week long absence in their apartment.
The thought made Izuku’s gut twist unpleasantly like it always did.
Inasa had asked Shouto out one year ago after a train derailment in Tokyo during which they had teamed up to save a group of students from an upside-down car. It wasn’t the first time he’d asked Shouto out; he’d been sporting a massive crush on him since high school, almost as long as Izuku had known Shouto.
The strange thing was that instead of turning him down like he always did, Shouto had said yes. And to Izuku’s growing irritation, they were still together one year later like Shouto was truly considering spending the rest of his life with the guy.
And of course he wanted Shouto to be happy; he loved him down to his bones, so of course he did. But it was hard to cheer his relationship on when he wished he was the one in Inasa’s shoes.
Pushing his thoughts about Inasa away, Izuku leaned on the kitchen table as he watched Shouto write out a list on the Uravity-themed notepad on the fridge.
“I went shopping before we left and even cooked you meals so you wouldn’t revert to take-out for the whole week. How can we already be out of stuff?”
“Inasa made breakfast the whole week,” Shouto explained without sparing him a glance. “We need more eggs, milk, and cheese. Oh, and strawberry milk.”
“Orange juice,” Izuku listed off as his attention flickered over to the bouquet of fresh roses in a white vase. “These are new. I can’t remember the last time he brought you flowers.”
Interestingly enough, Shouto’s shoulders visibly went taut despite him not turning around. “Don’t be silly. He brought me flowers a few weeks ago to celebrate our anniversary.”
“Uhuh. So what’s the special occasion this time?”
“Nothing. Just because. Can you tell me what else I’m probably forgetting?”
Izuku raised his brows at the obvious edge in Shouto’s tone, not used to hearing him be so curt. Deciding not to press on, he pointed at the empty bowl next to the flower vase.
“Apples. Bananas. Grapes. Anything we kept in this fruit bowl that magically disappeared in a week.”
Shout glanced back at the bowl with a frown before turning his attention back to the list. “I didn’t realize that it was empty. Good catch. Anything else?”
“Are we still stocked on those instant noodles you love?”
“Considering the fact that you left me boxed lunches for a week so I wouldn’t eat instant noodles, yes, we’re still stocked,” Shouto said with a somewhat amused smile. “Anything else?”
“Ice cream.”
Shouto rolled his eyes as he wrote it down. “You always say that.”
“And you always complain like you won’t finish the half of the pint I leave in the freezer,” Izuku quipped back with a teasing grin. “I think that’s it. Oh, add energy drinks. I think I have to pull a few overnight shifts this week.”
“Those caffeinated drinks are going to kill you one day,” Shouto murmured as he wrote them down. “I’m leaving in a few minutes if you feel like accompanying me. I know you just came back from London, though, so I understand if you want to rest instead.”
“Are you kidding me? And miss out on you arguing with yourself over the prices of fruit?” Izuku snorted. “Get changed. I’ll be ready in like, five minutes.”
Shouto’s answering smile was enough proof that he’d made the right choice.
“Fine. We’ll try to make it quick so you can sleep before Bakugou’s birthday dinner. I’m assuming that’s why you wrapped things up early, yes?”
“You caught me.”
Shouto chuckled softly before his smile slipped. “You’ll have to send him my regards. I won’t be able to make it.”
“Aw, what? But your reactions to my overseas adventures are always the best part of these parties!” Izuku pouted.
“Yes, well, I’m actually having dinner with Fuyumi today, so you’ll have to tell me all about London now or tomorrow.”
Izuku noted the subtle twitch in Shouto’s fingers at his sides. It was like he was nervous or scared to tell Izuku, which meant it was a lie. Why Shouto would lie about dinner with Fuyumi, he didn’t know, but he decided not to press on after seeing the shadows in Shouto’s eyes.
“That’s fine so long as you bring me back whatever she makes for dinner. It’s been ages since we had dinner at her place.”
“Glutton,” Shouto sighed somewhat fondly before making his way to his room.
Izuku watched as Shouto retreated into his room, something tugging at his heart and making his stomach twist unpleasantly. Just two weeks ago, he and Shouto had been drunkenly laughing on the couch while celebrating three years as roommates and talking about what color they should paint the nursery in Fuyumi’s home for the baby boy on the way. Now, Shouto was lying about dinner with Fuyumi and was acting odd overall.
Izuku didn’t like it one bit. He didn’t like almost as much as the bright red roses on the counter whose stems had been cut and carefully placed in water to remain alive for as long as possible.
The possibilities of why Shouto would lie about dinner with Fuyumi plagued him through the grocery store aisles, even as he made fruit puns that made Shouto smile. They plagued him for hours after that too, hours after he and Shouto had gone their separate ways and he was sitting in the corner of a restaurant with his friends laughing around him.
“Okay, okay!” Ochako giggled as she pointed at Katsuki, her cheeks flushed from laughing so much that night. “You have to tell them about that villain that gave up to get your autograph.”
“What?” Tenya gasped. “No.”
“Uh, yes! Tell them, Katsuki.”
Katsuki rolled his eyes before folding his arms across his chest. “It wasn’t that funny, but it did happen. Bastard was trying to drown people with his quirk downtown last week and he stopped when he saw me. Said he was a fan.”
Izuku snorted softly at that, shaking his head as he played with the wine in his glass. “That happened to Shouto once. He said the woman’s enthusiasm freaked him out.”
“He’s right. It was fucking freaky. He thanked me for sending him to jail, can you believe that shit?” Katsuki wrinkled his nose in disgust. “It didn’t even feel gratifying locking him up.”
“You’d be surprised what some people are into,” Denki piped up with a thoughtful tap of his finger against his chin. “Sero once said something about people being a little too excited to be wrapped up in his tape sometimes.”
Tenya shuddered at that. “It feels immoral to talk about Sero’s tape like this…”
“Lighten up,” Ochako chided with a knock of her shoulder against Tenya’s shoulder, her smile radiant as she looked up at him.
Tenya’s discomfort visibly shifted into a fond smile as he met her eyes, and it made something ache in Izuku’s chest.
“Woah,” Denki gasped, covering his mouth with his hand like he was scandalized. “I didn’t think you were the type of girl to flaunt your new boyfriend in front of your ex.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Ochako replied with a roll of her eyes. “Deku and I had an amicable split. Besides, that was almost two years ago. I’d like to think we’ve both moved past whatever weirdness was left after our break up. Right, Deku?”
Blinking, Izuku nodded. “Yes. It’s fine. I think you and Tenya make a good couple.”
“You two are going to have such pretty babies,” Eijirou sighed softly from his place beside Katsuki.
“What is your obsession with pretty children?” Tenya questioned wearily.
“Tenya dear, please don’t phrase it like that. You’re making it sound like our sweet Eijirou is a…well…you know.”
“Oh. My apologies, Kirishima.”
“It’s fine!” Eijirou laughed. “I know you didn’t mean it like that. But if you really want an answer, I just think that it’s nice when attractive people meet and procreate.”
Denki nodded. “Yeah, it’s like you’re saving the future of the world with your offspring. It’ll balance the rage that the offspring of these two will bring into the world in a few years.”
“Shut your face,” Katsuki snapped as Eijirou glared at the blond.
“Excuse you, our babies are going to be delightful.”
“Speaking of babies,” Tenya said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “Ojirou wanted me to let you know that we’re all cordially invited to their baby shower in two weeks.”
Ochako cooed at that, pressing her hands against her heart. “I can’t believe Hagakure’s having her second one already! It feels like just yesterday when Shouto had to help her deliver her first one in the middle of an earthquake.”
“I still can’t believe he didn’t freak out that day,” Denki murmured with amazement. “Or that he actually knew what to do.”
“It was good training for the five other babies he’s had to deliver since,” Eijirou snorted. “In a few years there’s going to be a spike in the amount of babies named Shouto, watch.”
“Fuyumi’s actually considering naming her son after him,” Izuku spoke up after realizing he hadn’t said anything in a while.
Ochako looked at him curiously. “Oh, really?
“Yeah. We were talking about baby names at the baby shower a few weeks ago and she asked what I thought about it. I told her it was sweet.”
“Isn’t this her third kid?” Katsuki asked with a vaguely concerned look on his face. “Someone tell her husband to get off of her.”
“Katsuki,” his boyfriend hissed, visibly mortified despite a smile fighting to make an appearance.
“What? I’m just saying, three kids is a lot.”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to say it like that.”
Clearing his throat, Izuku leaned in close to Ochako while Katsuki and Eijirou bickered like an old married couple.
“Hey, Ochako?”
“What’s up?”
“Have you noticed anything off with Shouto? He seemed a little closed off when I got home today. Has he told you anything?”
Something odd flashed across Ochako’s face, her brows drawing together as she stared at his face like she was searching for something. Not finding it, she sighed and turned her attention back to Katsuki and Eijirou, who were now in the middle of a thumb war.
“He didn’t tell you anything?”
“No. Was he supposed to?”
“Maybe.” Ochako sighed again before taking a sip of her drink, pointedly avoiding his gaze.
“What?”
“Did you guys hear about how Shouto fell into a dumpster today?”
Katsuki burst out laughing at that, ruby eyes filling with glee. “All of fucking Japan heard about that. How are you going to be the number two hero and fall in a dumpster?”
“I heard he lost his balance when Yoarashi made one of his tornadoes to try and trap the villain they were chasing,” Tenya said with a frown. “So it wasn’t completely his fault. It was more of an accident if anything.”
“Accident or not, he still ended up with a rotten banana on his head,” Ochako said with a poorly concealed smile. “My sidekicks couldn’t stop talking about it when the pictures went viral. Poor Shouto.”
“It was honestly pretty funny,” Denki grinned. “He looked super confused when he sat up in that dumpster. Hitoshi and I couldn’t stop laughing until Yaoarashi made his way down and asked if he was okay.”
“Inasa knocked him off the building?” Izuku asked, frowning deeply. “He didn’t tell me that.”
“I don’t think he did it on purpose,” Denki said with a frown. “Yoarashi’s a decent guy. I’m sure Shouto knows what he’s doing.”
Izuku scoffed quietly at that before taking a sip of his drink, letting the talk about Inasa go in one ear and out the other.
Izuku wouldn’t deny that Inasa Yoarashi was a good hero. He was authoritative when he needed to be, sweet when he wanted to be as evidenced by the gifts he brought Shouto, and if he squinted, maybe even a little handsome. He was tall and muscular, equally as powerful as Shouto, and he hadn’t given up after the first ‘no.’
Izuku wouldn’t deny that he was a decent person, but he wouldn’t praise him, either. Every person had their flaws, and he had become an expert at picking at Inasa’s.
He was too loud when he got excited about something. He left toothpaste in the sink after every meal instead of washing it away. He left his shoes thrown haphazardly in the hallway instead of lining them up like Shouto liked. He was a horrible singer. He left empty containers of milk in the fridge instead of saying they were done, ruining Izuku’s weekend breakfast plans. He was unable to shut up during sex despite knowing Izuku was in the next room over, moaning like someone actually wanted to hear him.
Shouto also had flaws, but they were minimal and made Izuku love him even more while Inasa’s flaws made him a loser. Shouto deserved better, which was why Izuku hadn’t been concerned at first when he started dating Inasa.
Shouto wasn’t the type to date someone long term, especially when he had only gone out with Inasa because his asking had been relentless. Izuku didn’t expect them to last more than six months. But now it was a year, Inasa was still bringing Shouto flowers that he saved, and his sureness about the end of the relationship was starting to waver.
Despite the ugly feeling in his chest at the thought of Shouto being unhappy, his jealousy was uglier in that he wished they’d break up soon.
“You were surprised?” Eijirou asked with raised brows, suddenly drawing Izuku’s attention back to the conversation. “They’ve been together for a while.”
“A year is not a while, that’s barely anything,” Katsuki grunted.
Tenya grimaced at that, fingers nervously fiddling with a napkin. “I really don’t think we should be discussing this–”
“For once, I agree with him,” Ochako said with her eyes darting to Izuku. “It’s not nice to gossip about stuff like this.”
“Oh come on!” Denki pouted. “I mean, a rumor is one thing, but I think we’re allowed to gossip about it if it’s been confirmed already.”
Frowning, Izuku said, “Sorry, I’m a little lost. What are we talking about?”
A hush fell across the table. Nervous eyes averted their gaze to the wall, others looked at him pitifully, and Katsuki’s red eyes locked onto him seriously.
“Half and half’s engaged as of yesterday.”
The glass in Izuku’s hand slipped out of his grasp, nearly breaking on the white tablecloth if not for Ochako’s quick hands.
Izuku was vaguely aware of all the voices of the other restaurant patrons laughing and having the time of their lives, but all he could focus on was Katsuki’s eyes and his words.
“What? Engaged?”
“Yoarashi proposed two days ago,” Eijirou said slowly, his pitiful eyes watching Izuku like he was a dog who was about to be put down.
Nodding, Denki said, “Kyouka said it was actually really romantic. He proposed in the park at night under these glittery lights. He even brought him roses and got down on one knee. The works, really.”
Red roses on the counter.
“Just because.”
“And Shouto said yes?”
“Well, duh,” Denki said with a raised brow. “That’s his boyfriend. Well, fiancé.”
“I wonder if he’ll wear a ring to work now,” Eijirou mused aloud before guilt appeared in his eyes. “Sorry you’re finding out like this, Midoriya. I really thought he would’ve told you first since you two literally live together.”
“I haven’t really spoken to anyone since I left for London,” Izuku mumbled distractedly as he stared at his glass. “Wow.”
Engaged. Shouto wasn’t unavailable for now; he was unavailable forever. There were no more chances for him to vow to tell Shouto he loved him later, no more futures for him to plan all involving the man who changed his world. Shouto and Inasa were engaged, as in pledged to be married, affianced, and betrothed with the exchange of roses and an acceptance.
Shouto was engaged to Inasa, and Izuku was too late.
“Has anyone seen the ring yet?” Denki asked curiously. “Are we sure he even got a ring?”
Tenya let out an exasperated sigh at that. “Yes, there is a ring. No, he will not be wearing it publicly. That is all I will be sharing about the engagement. Now can we please talk about something else?”
“Yeah, like when are you and Shinsou going to get married?” Ochako asked with an overtly-sweet smile aimed at Denki.
“Hey! Don’t turn this on me now!”
Izuku vaguely registered the sound of Eijirou and Ochako laughing at the blond man, as well as the sound of Tenya scolding them in favor of looking down at his unfinished glass of wine.
A small bar. Friends laughing. Too many drinks. Sparkling eyes. A question.
“What about me?”
It had taken him six years to accept the feelings the question made him feel half a decade after it was asked. You are everything, his heart sang with every grocery trip and every watched documentary on their couch. I want you to be mine: my past, my now, my forever.
With every consoling pat on the back after his break-up with Ochako and every grumpy frown in the mornings before breakfast, Izuku had fallen harder than asteroids from the sky. He’d woken up one morning to Shouto in a baggy white shirt from mixed laundry, his hair perfectly mismatched, and with a smile he’d seen thousands of times before, he was in love.
And he’d almost said it; he’d almost whispered I love you over spars and late night coffee runs, over so many breakfast smiles and dinner footsies. Then Inasa had swooped in, and he’d won because he was getting all Izuku really believed he’d get someday: Shouto Todoroki, number two hero to Japan and the number one person in his heart.
Engaged. Engaged. Engaged.
The word reverberated in his mind like a gun repeatedly going off, lodging the idea further into his brain until he was sure it was going to make it explode.
Engaged. Engaged. Engaged.
Katsuki’s gaze floated over to him a few times that night, full of so many ‘I told you so’s that Izuku didn’t want to hear. Ochako’s hands hovered nearby like they wanted to console him, but he didn’t want consolation. What he wanted was now engaged to another man, receiving and saving roses like he truly loved him.
Izuku wasn’t sure how he managed to survive the rest of the dinner with such big news sitting heavily in his mind and heart, but he did. When the night was over and Katsuki was offering him a ride home, he politely declined and walked straight to the train station on autopilot.
He didn’t want to listen to Katsuki ask what he thought of the engagement and Eijirou apologize on Shouto’s behalf for being virtually the last person to find out about the world-shattering news. He didn’t want to be coddled like a child while listening to Katsuki and Eijirou talk in code about him like they did because they were a couple. He didn’t want to talk about it, because talking about it made it real.
The love of his life was marrying someone else, and Izuku hadn’t even had the opportunity to fight for a chance to be the groom.
Engaged. Engaged. Engaged.
Sidewalks became carpeted flooring and a rising elevator as he kept walking, and before he knew it, he was standing in front of the same apartment he’d stood in just a few hours ago hoping he’d see Shouto soon.
Hand trembling on the doorknob, Izuku held his breath.
He truly hoped Shouto wasn't in there. If he was, it would only make everything real; his engagement, Izuku’s lateness, and the pain of it all. If Shouto was still out, he could pretend for a few more hours that everything was normal and it wasn’t the end of the world.
Turning the doorknob, Izuku pushed the door open and was immediately met with the sound of the local weatherwoman relaying news about stormy weather down the hall.
Izuku pressed his head into his hands and dug his fingers into the roots of his curls for a few seconds before defeatedly letting go. Slipping his shoes off, he placed them next to Shouto’s. After a few deep breaths, Izuku forced his best smile onto his face before walking down the hall into the living room where he knew Shouto would be.
And sure enough, Shouto was there on their blue couch, looking right at home in grey sweatpants and an oversized navy blue sweater with a halfway-done embroidery kit in the hand with no engagement ring.
Shouto turned around at the sound of Izuku entering the living room. Eyes widening, he flashed him a small smile.
“Hey. You’re back earlier than I expected.”
Engaged. Engaged. Engaged.
Clearing his throat, Izuku nodded. “Yeah, ah, Kacchan and Ochako have early shifts tomorrow so there wasn’t really that much drinking tonight.”
“That makes sense.”
“It makes more sense than your embroidery project.”
Shouto sighed and looked back down the embroidery hoop in his right hand. “Fuyumi sent me home with it tonight. She says she wants me to embroider a design for the baby blanket she’s making.”
“Ah,” Izuku said with a weak laugh. “That tradition again.”
“Mhm. She sent you an embroidery package as well, which I put in your room. The leftovers are in the fridge. She made soba, though, so I’m making no promises to not eat your portion.”
Izuku only stared at Shouto as he spoke, searching for something he wasn’t even quite sure he’d find. Shouto’s eyes sparkled as he spoke, and his voice betrayed no hidden news, but Izuku knew better.
“Are you alright?” Shouto asked with a worried furrow of his brows. “Did you drink too much tonight? I can make tea–”
“Congratulations,” Izuku blurted out, his tongue betraying his heart’s desire to not bring it up.
Shouto blinked in confusion for a few seconds before his eyes widened and wariness crossed his features.
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re engaged, aren’t you?” When Shouto didn't respond, Izuku licked his lips and repeated, "Congratulations."
Shouto closed his eyes and ran his left hand through his hair, something silver catching Izuku’s eye and making his stomach twist.
“Who told you?”
“Does it matter?”
“No.” Opening his eyes, Shouto dropped both his hands into his lap. “I was going to tell you. Tonight, actually.”
Izuku hummed. “Right. Well, congratulations again. I heard it was romantic.”
“It was.”
“I also heard you have a ring now.”
Pressing his lips thinly together, Shouto nodded. Wordlessly, he lifted his left hand and flashed Izuku with the ring, making his heart collapse to the soles of his feet.
It was a gaudy thing, a thick silver signet with a giant diamond engraved in the middle. Izuku could see why Shouto wouldn’t want to wear it all the time.
But regardless of how much Izuku hated the ring and how it looked out of place on Shouto’s finger, it was still there.
Engaged. Engaged. Engaged.
Forcing his best smile, Izuku said, “That’s a pretty big ring. Are you going to wear it at work?”
Shouto frowned. “Absolutely not. Do you know how many reporters would hound me for interviews if I did?”
“I thought you wouldn’t want to wear it because it could get lost,” Izuku said with a subtly raised left brow.
“That too, I suppose.”
Izuku nodded. “Makes sense.” Not like you getting engaged after dating a guy for a year, but whatever.
He watched as Shouto pulled his hand back and stared at his ring, expression unreadable. Quietly, he repeated, “It’s a very pretty ring. Fuyumi says he did well. Says it matches me.”
Lips pursed, Izuku said, “Well it certainly matches his likes. You know, because he’s a flashy guy.”
“I suppose so,” Shouto said, looking back up at Izuku.
Unable to stand there any longer, Izuku flashed him his best smile before turning in the direction of his room.
“I’m going to go shower.”
“Again?”
Cracking a tired grin, Izuku shook his head. “Oh, yeah. I forgot I did that already. I think the jet-lag is hitting me a little later than I anticipated, so I’m going to sleep a little early.” Without sparing him another glance, he said with resignation, “Congratulations, again. I really am happy for you.”
Izuku had barely closed his bedroom door before he was sliding down against it, hands frustratedly tugging on the roots of his curls and an aching heart pressing up bruisingly against his ribcage.
Shouto was really engaged.
Pressing his eyes shut, all Izuku could think about was the last time he’d been close to achieving all he wanted.
I should’ve kissed him again.
(January, one year ago.
They’re sitting side-by-side on the floor in front of their blue couch, beer bottles on the coffee table and a shitty coming of age show on the TV that Ochako suggested they should watch. It’s been two months since their breakup and one month since Izuku’s realization that he’s in love with his best friend, and he’s drunk beyond belief.
There’s a confession dangling on the tip of his tongue and adoration in his eyes that watch Shouto drunkly try to touch his tongue to the tip of his nose. Izuku had bet he couldn’t do it, so here Shouto was, trying to prove him wrong and looking ridiculously hilarious while doing so.
Shouto gives up after his fifth attempt, pouting adorably in a way that makes Izuku want to kiss him.
“I can’t do it.”
“I told you you wouldn’t be able to do it.”
Turning to Izuku, he said accusingly, "Normal people can’t do that. You must have an abnormally long tongue or something.”
Izuku doesn’t know what possesses him to say what he does next.
“People with long tongues are good kissers, you know.”
Shouto’s smile falters on his face and his brows shoot upwards. “What?”
“People with long tongues are good kissers,” Izuku repeated, staring at Shouto’s glistening lips. “It’s scientifically proven.”
“Oh. Then I must not be a good kisser, is what you’re saying.”
Reaching his fingers up to brush against Shouto’s red bangs, Izuku licked his lips and whispered, “I don’t know. Do you want to find out with me?”
Shouto’s cheeks bloom a beautiful pink and his eyes fly wide open, pupils dilated and lips open enough to let out a startled gasp. His fingers grip the hem of Izuku’s white T-shirt, and Izuku waits for the subtle nod before dipping forward to press their lips together.
Shouto tastes like cheap beer and smells like coconut from his shampoo, and his lips are softer than any other lips he’s kissed before. His fingers come up to the base of Izuku’s head, and he tilts his head to deepen the kiss, and Izuku’s head swims from how good it feels to kiss Shouto.
They kiss slowly until they run out of air and have to separate. Izuku stares at Shouto as his fingers come up to his lips, his cheeks red and wide eyes staring at Izuku in disbelief.
“You kissed me,” Shouto whispered breathlessly.
“Yeah,” Izuku said, equally breathless.
“…so what’s your verdict? Am I a good kisser or not?”
Letting out a breathless laugh, Izuku leans his cheek against the arm he’d propped up on the couch. Opposite crooked fingers come up to play with white bangs, and Shouto looks at him with an unreadable look.
“Yeah. You’re a good kisser.” And because he’s never been normal about anything ever, he added on quietly, “Any man would be lucky to kiss you at least once in their life.”
He turns his attention to his beer then and picks it up with the hand that had just been on Shouto’s face, missing the flinch and devastation crossing beautiful heterochromatic eyes.
The next morning, he feels brave and almost brings it up to tell Shouto he’s in love with him. But then Shouto tells him he got so drunk that he forgot what happened last night, and he chickens out and says nothing crazy happened.
To Izuku’s regret, they never kiss again after that.)