Chapter Text
"C'mon you've gotta go, Sofi's gonna be home from school any minute."
"Remind me again why you don't want me to meet your sister?
"First of all, you don't even have a shirt on, and I can't find my pants. Secondly, it's not that I don't want you to meet her. It's that she might not want to meet you."
"Ouch. And here I thought your family loved me."
"My parents love you. The only people Sofi loves enough for me to bring home are Dinah and Ally."
"Well, that's not fair," Lauren objects, pulling her shirt off the floor back on. "Ally is literally a walking ray of sunshine and Dinah is-,"
Camila curses, interrupting her after hearing the front door open and shut, followed by, "Kaki! I'm home!"
There's singing coming from down the hall, and then it's heard outside the door; it comes in as the form of Sofia Cabello, tugging her hair into a neat ponytail, headphones still in her ears.
"Who's this? And why aren't you wearing pants?"
"H-hey, Sof. I was just about to change. But since you're here, there's someone I want you to meet." She picks herself off her bed, gesturing grandly towards Lauren. "This is my girlfriend, Lauren."
"Hi, Sofi. I'm Lauren, it's nice to finally meet you."
Lauren offers out her hand, and to her surprise, Sofi sneezes on it.
"Bless me. I'm going back downstairs for food." Sofi wipes her nose on her sleeve, excusing herself out.
"Um, why don't you take Lauren with you? Y'know bond over food while I find some pants."
She nudges Lauren by the shoulder, urging her to follow her sister. Lauren pumps out some hand sanitizer from Camila's desk, then sprints downstairs to keep up with Sofi.
"So, what do you feel like eating Sofi?" Lauren asks, trying to make it sound like she's not out of breath.
"I want ice cream."
"Cool, I won't have to cook anything." Lauren strolls over to the cabinets to fetch two bowls and two spoons, "Uh, how was school?"
"It was good." Sofi replies nonchalantly as she scrolls through her phone. Since when did eight year old's get iPhones?
"That's....good." Oh God, Lauren feels like her mom.
She delves into the freezer in search of banana split, or at least she assumes they have banana split. After all, Camila is the one who does the grocery shopping.
"Where do you guys keep the ice cream?"
"It should be right next to th-"
"Nevermind. I found it." She pulls her hand out of the freezer to hold it up the tub of ice cream, until she feels something hard hit her elbow. Lauren winces in pain, dropping the tub in the process.
When she turns around, she sees Sofi with blood dripping down her chin and staining the collar of her uniform.
And then she's screaming.
"Oh shi- shoot. Shoot. Oh shoot."
So much for a first impression.
Her screaming is uncompromising. It echoes off the living room walls before Lauren can do anything to stop it and her attitude is surprisingly rigid for an eight year old.
And Camila's rushing down the stairs, tripping on steps and buttoning up her pants.
"What happened?"
Lauren doesn't even have time to respond, Sofi's cries out, "She hit me, Kaki!"
"Nononono, I didn't- I swear. She literally, well kinda, ran into my el-," Camila's already halfway back up the stairs before she can finish her sentence.
She's been through this plenty of times with Chris and Taylor so many times so Lauren goes through the standard procedure, going back to the kitchen to grab paper towels, napkins, something, anything that'll save her from this mess.
When she comes back, Sofi's holding the bottom of her shirt against her nose. It's effective, but it's also really unsanitary. But what is she supposed to expect from the elementary schooler that sneezed on her hand?
Camila comes back with a small package in her hand. "Ew, Sof. You're ruining your shirt."
"Are you seriously giving her a pad? Does she even know what a period is?"
"We're out of band-aids."
"Camz, a band-aid wouldn't have stopped a nosebleed."
Camila just rolls her eyes as she unwraps the pad, leaving the paper over the adhesive part.
"Sof, just hold this up against your nose. Lo, can you keep her head tilted down? I'll be right back."
Lauren inches over to Sofi. "Um, okay- Sofi, let me just hold your-"
"Don't touch me!" Sofi says, demands.
Lauren wants to laugh. There's something about a little kid holding a sanitary pad to their bloody nose that really makes for grade A comedy. When she sees what Camila comes back with, she fucking loses it.
"Oh God," she says in between fits of laughter, "Babe, you can't be serious."
"Don't worry I saw it in a movie once."
She removes the wrapper and the protective cover to reveal a white cylinder with a string attached.
Sofi's quick to interject. "That's not going in my nose."
"Chill out, I'll show you how," Camila sticks one up her right nostril to demonstrate, "So you just plug it in, and it absorbs right up."
Sofi skeptically picks up one from the box, eyeing it with caution before unwrapping it and following her sister's prompts.
"It feels weird."
"It's not really meant for going up your nose," Lauren giggles out.
Camila only nudges her on the arm. "Okay, I'm gonna get a washcloth and Sofi a change of clothes. Can I leave you with her for five minutes or am I giving you enough time to maim my sister?"
"Uh, sure. I think I can manage."
Camila's hand is on the railing, she stops in the middle of the staircase to look back at Lauren. "Oh, and when I get back you get to help me explain what a period is."
"Sounds fun, I can't wait." Lauren yells up the banister, even though she already knows Camila is too far away to hear her.
She forces her attention back to Sofi, who meets her eyes with a bitter disposition.
"If I can get rid of Austin, I can get rid of you too."
Lauren has never been so intimidated by a child before.
***
To Lauren, carnivals remind her of fried food and fast rides that give her migranes. To Camila, they remind her of their school's carnival when Lauren worked at the kissing booth, and Camila bought an entire roll of tickets to spite every other girl at there.
She notices that Camila's been eyeing the stuffed banana hanging low behind the prize booth. It's almost as tall as Camila and it's got this goofy look to match hers but could never do it justice.
They make their way over to the booth with Sofi trailing behind them and Lauren's wallet is practically weeping at the sight of the price to play. Next to the worker donning a blank expression, there's a sign that reads: "Basketball One-In Wins: $5 for 3 Balls".
The worker explains that, "If you make a shot and it goes in on her first try, you get a prize from the top shelf. If it goes in on the second try, a prize from the middle shelf. And by the third try, bottom shelf."
She's confident when she gives the worker money though, because after all, she was the one who tried out for the basketball team.
She takes the ball into her arms, now bent at ninety degrees angles,
When it misses the net by a few inches, Lauren realizes why she didn't make the team.
Camila is nothing but supportive, reassuring her with a glance. However, Sofi is clearly unimpressed, taking it upon herself to win the banana for her sister.
She takes a new approach and backs up before guiding the ball over her head and behind her shoulders. Bringing the ball back down with all her strength, it bounces once on the ground before bumping against the backboard. Lauren's relieved when the basketball slides off the rim.
But it's not a competition, because Lauren doesn't compete with eight year old's for her girlfriend's attention.
"Kaki, I wanna ride the carousel."
Camila slips her a five dollar bill, but Sofi's pushing for a ten, and she's not leaving until she gets it. She stands firm for her request to ride the horsie twice and of course her persistence works. Camila coughs up another bill, but not before telling Sofi to be careful and not to talk to strangers (even if they offer to buy her cotton candy).
Lauren's already six tries in and her wallet is thirty dollars lighter. The ball does that thing where it circles the hoop really quickly before finally falling in. Except it doesn't actually fall in. She's down to her last shot and there's no way she's getting that banana now, but she's at least determined to walk away with something from the lowest shelf.
When the ball goes in the hoop after she feels like the luckiest person in the world, but then again, maybe 'luckiest' is an overstatement because then in Camila's arms and she wonders how could she be so lucky.
Lauren thinks this is what arms are made for.
The guy in charge of the booth interrupts their scene to hand Lauren her prize, which turns out to be a smaller version of the same banana, just big enough for Camila to clutch with both her arms.
Lauren looks up apologetically, "Sorry it's not what you wanted."
"I've already got what I want."
Camila kisses her on the lips, and Lauren can't get enough because they're wet and warm and so soft.
(Lauren thinks this is what lips are made for.)
"Gross." They turn to see Sofi, who's back with a stuffed monkey that looks big enough to swallow the banana whole.
"This is for you, Kaki. I won it at the ring toss thing."
"Thanks, Sof. I love it."
Sofi wraps her arms around Camila's neck to pull her for a quick hug, and while her sister's back is facing Lauren she sticks her tongue out as if to assert her dominance.
"Can we ride the ferris wheel before we leave?"
Lauren's been wanting the ask Camila that since they arrived. It's cute, it's what couples do in the movies. She hasn't asked though, knowing how her girlfriend has a fear of heights. So she's taken aback when Camila says yes and drags her to fall in line.
Originally, they were going to sit together and hold hands and they would finally have their movie material moment, but the attendant makes it clear that Sofi must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. So she practically hands Sofi her spot next to Camila because, God, Lauren's willing to give up way more than some stupid seat for Camila.
***
Lauren's never liked Mona Lisa. It's such an overrated painting. She doesn't like the tight-lipped smile she displays, or the eyebrows she seems to be missing.
Sofi calls Picasso's "The Weeping Woman" ugly. She doesn't like the color palette and how the shapes interact.
Lauren and Sofi bond over disliking the same paintings, but they'd deny it if you asked. Camila tells them that they're not looking at things from a skewed perspective, that they "don't get it." Maybe they don't, but it's not fair. Camila's good at seeing the beauty in things. It's what she does.
It was her idea to bring Lauren to the art gallery. It was Sofi's idea to tag along.
During sophomore year, Lauren took art class as her elective. Her teacher taught her that it only takes three colors to make a rainbow.
Lauren met Camila in ninth grade. Camila taught her that blue is the lump in Lauren's throat when she asked Camila out for pizza. Blue is how well their hands fit together the first time they held hands in public. Blue is when it rains and Lauren offers Camila her favorite jacket. Blue is the circles around her eyes after staying up all night with her phone by her side. Blue is calming.
Yellow is the way she smiles when Camila says she likes her too. Yellow is the light hitting Camila's hair at six in the morning, something only Lauren gets to see whenever she decides to stay the night. Yellow is bright. Yellow is the butterflies in her belly that never seem to go away. Yellow is sweet. Yellow is when all of their friends say they look good together.
Red is the feeling Lauren gets when she presses Camila against a wall and trails kisses down her neck and collarbones. Red is her fingertips meeting the hem of Camila's shirt for the very first time. (They've become well acquainted since then.) Red is passion. Red is hot. Red is also soft. Red is the color Lauren wears on her cheeks and on the palms of her hands. Red is the way Camila's lips curl up every time Lauren calls her 'Camz'.
Her art teacher was the one who taught her that brown and green aren't colors meant to be romanticized—they don't compliment each other.
As a freshman, Lauren thinks that's stupid. Even now as a senior, she thinks it's the most useless thing she's learned in school because every time her eyes meet Camila's she can't seem to ignore how her heart flutters.
Lauren and Camila started dating sophomore year, the same year Lauren decided to transfer out of art class. Artistic differences, she says.
Camila is the reason Lauren understands why they say "pretty as a painting".
When Lauren looks at her, she realizes why people are often compared to masterpieces. She finally gets how the beauty of one person could become so easily recognizable, so universal.
Mona Lisa makes sense.
***
Lauren remembers that when she was fifteen, there was a sinkhole that opened up on the road they took walking to school every morning.
She was just as interested in the geologic hazard as her Chris and Taylor, but she spent more time keeping them away from it than she did marveling at it.
Chris would never stop bothering Lauren about the sinkhole until they got to school, asking her things like:
"How do sinkholes form?
"What is a sinkhole, again?"
"Do you think we can make it bigger?"
"Can I pee in it?"
Taylor kept taking pictures of it with Lauren's phone. She was fascinated by a hole on the ground or an entire week before Lauren threatened to push them both into the sinkhole.
Lauren keeps her fingers crossed that Camila isn't a sinkhole.
Lauren just wants to bring Camila upstairs and completely avoid her family so they can finish binge watching Game of Thrones together.
The only thing that's stopping them are the two younger Jaureguis, peering over the living room
sofa expectantly.
"Hey Laur, wanna introduce us to your friend?"
She's about to pretend that she didn't hear them and take Camila upstairs as planned, but Camila's hand on her wrist stops her from taking another step.
"Guys, this is my girlfriend, Camila," she states, "Camz, these are my siblings, Chris and Taylor."
"Woah Laur, you never told me your girlfriend's butt was huge. Like you said it was big bu-" Lauren chucks her shoe at him before he can finish his sentence.
Camila doesn't know whether to be flattered or flat out embarrassed.
"Oh my god, you were right, Laur. She is so pretty." Taylor beams before turning to face Camila. "Camila, will you do my make up?"
"No, she can't because we're gonna go watch a couple of seasons of blood and war. So, I need you and Chris to stay ten feet away from my room until mom gets home."
Taylor rolls her eyes in response.
"Camz, I'm gonna microwave some popcorn. Think you can handle them?"
Camila scoffs, "I've got a eight year old at home. This is nothing."
So Lauren gives her hand a squeeze before disappearing into the kitchen. As soon as she does, Chris opens his mouth.
"So, have you and Lauren...y'know, done it yet?"
Camila's not sure how to answer. You're not supposed to talk about your sex life with your girlfriend's siblings, right?
"Um, well I mean-"
"Chris, don't be stupid. Of course they have. Why do you think Lauren's always doing when she goes out with Camila?"
"Good question. Camila, what do you and Lauren do when you're out together?
"We don't alwa-"
Lauren comes back to the rescue with a bowl of popcorn in her arms. "Can you two quit harassing my girlfriend?"
The couple begins to make their way up the steps without so much as a goodbye since Camila still can form words after being ambushed by the most inappropriate question two high schoolers can ask.
"Hey, if you two are going to your room, can you at least try to keep it down a little? I've got a test on Monday and sometimes I can still hear you two studying or whatever you like to call it."
"Shut up, Taylor!"
"Don't forget to lock the door!"
"Shut up, Chris!"
Lauren wonders what the odds are of sinkholes reopening and just swallowing her whole on the spot.
-
They decide to keep it PG in Lauren's bedroom, at least while her siblings are leaning on her door.
When Lauren sees a Toyota Corolla pull up to the driveway which means her mom is home. which means it's time to get Camila out of here.
They almost make it to the front door without any hassle until Taylor speaks up.
"Camila, are you staying for dinner?"
"Uh, actually Tay, we were actually just leaving. Camz has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so I'll just drive her home."
A figure appears from the garage, looking at Camila up and down with a warm smile.
"Lauren Michelle Jauregui, stop being rude and invite your girlfriend for dinner."
They find themselves in the Jauregui dining room twenty minutes later, seated next to each other with four pairs of eyes focused on them.
"Hey, Camila. Do you have any hot sisters?"
"Sorry, Chris. She's out of your league." Lauren answers back, earning a nudge on her shoulder from Camila.
"I'm so glad we finally glad we finally get to meet the girl in Lauren's lockscreen. I was beginning to think she's was going crazy
"Mom."
From there on it becomes a competition to see who can embarrass Lauren the most.
They tell her about how Lauren comes home with a dopey grin on her face like the lovestruck teenager she is.
They take turns telling her about the nights comes home from their dates and wakes everyone up because she's too hyped up on hormones to remember that the front door has an alarm and that she can't just barge in at 3am.
Chris can hardly wait for his turn, spewing out as many facts about his older sister as if he's been saving it all for a rainy day. "Did you know Lauren's a coin collector?"
"Used to be. I used to be a coin collector," Lauren corrected.
"Lauren also used to kiss her poster of the 1975 before going to bed every night. She even had an order. It was like Ross first, then George, Adam, and Matty last. I even have a video of of Lauren trying to write a song with her other Matty Healy poster above her bed when she was in eighth grade. I mean I guess it's better than her Hannah Montana phase. Did you know her first concert was a Hannah Montana concert? She had the dvd box set and memorized all the lyrics to 'If We Were A Movie'. Speaking of movies, she still cries every time we watch A Walk to Remember."
Seeing as no one else would, Lauren jumped to her own defense. "You cried too!"
"Yeah, but you cry every single time."
"Jamie was dying!"
"Oh, Laur. Remember when you tried the perfume on at Bath & Body Works and you thought you were dying because your throat started closing up? Dude, it was so funny. That was the day we found out you were allergic to, like, half of the things in that store."
Now Camila understands why all of Lauren's cosmetics are strictly from Lush.
Taylor joins in with the time Lauren was bawling over the phone, begging to be picked up from softball camp seven years ago because she had gotten her first period and was convinced she would bleed to death.
And then there's the oldest sibling, squirming in her chair and pushing around the rice on her plate.
Her family asks Camila about what she plans on majoring in, which colleges she's going apply for. They ask Camila where she's from, about her parents, if she ever misses her family in Cuba.
They don't ask why she's constantly wearing shirts with collars. Camila would've had to tell them it's because she has to cover the hickies their daughter leaves.
They ask her if she wants to get married. She says no because she knows that Lauren believes that kind of commitment isn't the type that needs rings for recognition, but she leaves out the part where she would have easily say "I do" at the alter.
Lauren could answers all of these questions—would answer all of these questions so Camila could have some peace but when she tries, her mother waves her hand dismissively and tells her to grab more lime for the carnitas, so they can prod further into Camila's personal life.
They don't ask her if she has anything to do with Lauren's jersey, the one that's been missing for almost a month. This is good though, because if they did, Camila would have had to explain that it makes the comfiest pajama and that she has no intention of returning it.
Her dad tops it off by bringing up his daughter's dating history. He starts with Luis, Lauren's first boyfriend. He was also her first heartbreak. Then there was Brad, who everyone had a bad feeling about. Except Lauren, after all, he was her first kiss, first homecoming date, the first person to start the rumors at school. His personal favorite was Veronica. She was Lauren's first girlfriend, the first person the Jauregui's actually enjoyed having around. She was promising, an honors student. Lauren met her in AP Biology, Veronica was exceptional at science. Too bad she was only into experimenting.
Alejandro wonders what kind of first Camila will be.
***
"How the hell do you even pronounce this word?"
They've been studying for almost two straight hours now, and Lauren regrets taking AP Physics. Camila announced that her "I think we have chemistry together" joke is dead and should stay dead forty-five minutes ago. She's not wrong.
"Hydroxyapatite. High-drawk-see-appa-tight."
"And what exactly is that?" Lauren challenges.
"According to Google, it is 'a mineral of the apatite group that is the main inorganic constituent of tooth enamel and bone, although it is rare in rocks'." Camila gives as an answer, switching back to her textbook.
"'Hydro'. That means 'water', right? Which reminds me, I'm thirsty. I'm gonna grab some water downstairs, you want some?"
Camila's too focused on searching up the answers to their worksheet online, so she just brushes her lips against Lauren's cheek, and Lauren takes that as a 'yes'.
Lauren makes her way to the kitchen with ease, no Sofi in sight. This is good.
And it's not that she's avoiding Camila's little sister, she's just not keen on the idea of bumping into her. Sofi's only eight, but she's also got enough power to make Lauren's life a living hell.
She's halfway up the stairs when she hears Sofi blabbing on in Spanish and thinks she should wait this one out. If she's going to wait, she might as well listen too. She leans against the wall adjacent to the bedroom door still cracked open.
"Ella es tan pálido," Sofi starts, "Ella se ve como un vampiro."
(She's so pale.) (She looks like a vampire.)"
That's kind of a good thing, right? Camila loves Twilight, Lauren reasons with herself.
"Bueno, creo que ella es bonita . Al igual que un copo de nieve."
(Well, I think she's pretty. Like a snowflake.)
Snow, Camila also likes snow.
Sofi pushes. "Sus ojos son del color de mi mocos," Sofi snubs.
(Her eyes are the color of my snot.)
"Pensé que verde era su color favorito."
(I thought green was your favorite color.)
She ignores Camila, continues on with her ammunition. "Su color de pelo natural probablemente no es negro."
(Her natural hair color probably isn't black.)
"No lo es," Camila replies simply.
(It isn't.)
"Sus cejas son más gruesas que el cabello en la cabeza."
(Her eyebrows are thicker than the hair on my head.)
"Se ven muy bien, dejarla sola." Lauren can't see it, but Camila's rolling her eyes. Although, she would have appreciated it.
(They look nice, leave her alone.)
"Puedes hacerlo mejor." Sofi's insistent, almost intent on hitting a soft spot.
(You can do better.)
"Eso es lo que dijiste de Austin. Lauren es mejor."
(That's what you said about Austin. Lauren is better.)
Her heart hammers in her chest when she hears this. Not because she's better than Austin, she knew that already. It's because Camila's making a choice, and she's choosing Lauren over every other option. Lauren doesn't care what the other options are.
Lauren can picture Sofi with that dissatisfied grin of hers, she's probably crossing her small arms. She almost jumps when she hears the door slam next to her. Sofi eyes her before taking one of the water bottles in her hand and marching back to her room. She doesn't break eye contact with Lauren until she reaches the threshold of her room. Their communication ends with another closed door in Lauren's face.
With one hand free now, Lauren turns the knob of Camila's door with ease. She's met with the sight of her girlfriend in the same position she was already in, highlighting whole paragraphs of text in her notes. Camila has a pen between in her lips and her glasses resting on the bridge of her nose.
Lauren's mouth curves into a dreamy grin and for a second Lauren forgot that Camila is like, really cute. Not even like a puppy kinda cute. It's more like a she can really fill those jeans and maybe she licks her lips too often for me to not think dirty thoughts but my girlfriend is still a huge dweeb kinda cute.
Camila probably doesn't even know it.
She looks up to meet Lauren's gaze as she pats the spot next to her on the carpet, welcoming her with a sweet smile. Lauren tosses the water bottle to the floor, its purpose long forgotten. She leans down all the way to lift the textbook out of Camila's lap, her hands eventually resting on her waist.
She's sure she's never kissed Camila harder than she has in this moment. She hopes her lips end up swollen with a purple tint. She hopes that Camila's glasses fog up and that they're gasping, desperate for air. She hopes that she gets to go home with red marks on her back and bruises under her jaw.
Camila pulling her hair enough that it hurts, but she doesn't really care because right now all she wants to do is kiss Camila and tell Sofi to back off because Camila is probably the best thing that has happened to Lauren since the day she and Celine skipped school to go see Lana Del Rey perform and she's not going to give this up because it's Camila and Lauren really likes Camila.
Camila doesn't know what has Lauren so heated, but she kisses back with the same aggression.
It was about time for a study break anyway.
***
They were supposed to go to the new bookstore on 8th street, but apparently it's closed on Sundays.
(It's already ten past nine, coming here this late was a stretch anyways.)
Instead of talking over cups of coffee, they end up on the hood of Lauren's car with a bag of fries and they're debating on whether or not that cluster of stars is Orion or Ursa Major.
Camila insists that it's Ursa Major and Lauren just gives in to the notion because she is so into her and Camila could convince her that the moon was made of cheese as long as she said so with that lopsided smile of hers.
Lauren doesn't pay attention to the stars above bc Camila's got this twinkle in her eye.
Lauren wonders how someone could look so beautiful while talking with ketchup on their chin.
When they arrive at Camila's driveway, they finally realize how long they've been out. Camila's just glad that she doesn't have a curfew.
Lauren's about to reach out for the keys until Camila turns the volume up. Lauren doesn't know the title of the song playing on the radio. She knows it's Ed Sheeran though. She can tell by the way Camila's resting her head on her shoulder and singing along softly. She can tell by the way Camila looks up at her, like this is their first date all over again.
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love
They walk to the porch, hand in hand, where they find Sofi leaning on the doorframe with her arms crossed. She's wearing her Hello Kitty pajamas accompanied with a grumpy frown and that's Lauren's cue to leave.
Camila sends Lauren home with a peck on the lips.
Lauren thinks that dating Camila Cabello is the coolest thing.
The second coolest thing is driving home with the top down and wind blowing through her hair, being able to feel all the parts of her face where Camila was and tasting Camila's chapstick on her lips. It's peppermint, and Lauren used to hate peppermint. She's grown to love a lot of things lately.
The third coolest thing is outer space.
***
The first time Lauren tells Camila she loves her, they're at Normani's nineteenth birthday party and Lauren's up to her neck in booze.
She doesn't know how to say it without sounding serious and scared and so lame.
She tries to say, "I think I'm in love with you." She wants to say it. It comes out as, "You look really pretty tonight." She opens her mouth to say something else, but the words don't quite leave her lips. It's like all the alcohol in her system is actually trying to stop her from making a complete fool out of herself.
Camila gets it though.
"I really like you, too."
And it's the small things like this.
It's the small things like the fact that she and Camila just click. She sings a lot with this voice that's enough to convince Lauren that there's a heaven and Camila dances all the time, even if she's got two left feet, and she talks a lot about traveling the world nonstop and she just gets Lauren. These are the things that have always been so clear and evident. These are great things. These are things that made Lauren fall in love with her in the first place.
The second time Lauren tells Camila she loves her, Lauren, beyond any doubt, knows that love is sappy and gross and sloppy. It's going to concerts of artists you've never heard of and making things up when you don't actually know the words while your girlfriend is practically fluent in alternative indie. Love is the two of you singing along at the top of your lungs next to sweaty fans when you hear them playing at some underground venue for the first time after learning the lyrics to every song on every album they've ever released.
Sometimes it's waiting at the airport for an extra four hours because their flight's been delayed several times already despite what the attendant at the desk has told you, but love means the both of you falling to the floor when you see her walk through terminal 3 and exchanging your ridiculous alien conspiracy theories when you drive her home because you saw an airplane that (barely) looked like a UFO.
Being in love means letting them win at Mario Kart sometimes because you know how they play to win and that you're not going anywhere until she beats you at Rainbow Road, and it's also trying to cook that vegan pizza recipe she found online, only to accidently burn it and opt out for some delivery.
Love is raw and heavy and childish. It's falling asleep on the couch with your legs intertwined after watching a horror movie that had her clinging to your waist the entire time (although it's not like Lauren was complaining), carrying your weary bodies up to your bedroom at 2:16 in the morning because she keeps pushing you off said couch. Love is attending her little sister's dance recital the next morning even if you hate ballet and offering to record the whole thing so that she can take in the moment and be a proud big sister.
Love is having dinner with her parents and actually caring about what they think of you because sometimes you get insecure, and you need their validation to know that you're good enough for their daughter.
(Even when she's reminded you a shit ton of times that you are.)
Love is diving into Dinah's pool when she's out of town and love is belting out your favorite songs on rooftops and love is bringing them cough syrup when they're too sick to make it to the kitchen and love is going out for frozen yogurt after sinning on Ally's couch and love is brushing lips in the hallway before first period and to Lauren, love is Camila.
The third time Lauren tells Camila she love her, she actually says it.
"I am so god damn in love with you."
Camila says it back with the same affection.
Lauren says hundreds of times by their third anniversary. They decided they wouldn’t celebrate it, at least not until a month later since Camila’s grounded for breaking curfew again, but Lauren still ends up on Camila’s doorstep with flowers in her hands and that stupid look on her face.
Lauren tells Camila she loves her when she's still half asleep and barely has her pants on.
She's not wearing makeup, and she's pretty sure she still has morning breath, so she knows Lauren means it.
Sofi overhears and they both know that she's probably been spying on them the entire time by the way her tiny footsteps pound against the tile.
She doesn't get why Sofi is set on finding any reason to hate her, but she wishes she could help Sofi understand that Camila is the colors Lauren can't see and the words she can't pronounce. She's the cities Lauren has saved up to fly to and the stars she can't count.
When Camila goes to find a vase for the flowers, Lauren sits next to Sofi, who's watching Spongebob Squarepants as if nothing happened.
"Listen, I'm sorry about the nosebleed I gave you, like, two months ago."
"I don't care."
"Then why are you still acting like I'm Plankton? It's not like I stole the Krabby Patty formula or anything?"
"It's not about that, it's not about how you've been stealing my sister from me."
"Then what is it about?
"I don't care how many times you make my nose bleed, I just don't want you to break Mila's heart."
Lauren forgets that Camila isn't just her girlfriend. She was Sofi's sister way before she was her girlfriend.
"I'm not gonna break her heart, Sof."
"That's what Austin said."