Chapter Text
There wasn't much I remembered from the night before. I turned to the side in my cot and felt a deep ache through my loins. My eyes shot open.
Metal bars were the first thing to come into view as I peered down at the onesie I was wearing. The outfit cut off like shorts and bulged around my lower region indicating that something was underneath and I already knew what that something was as I felt the familiar crinkle.
My nose scrunched at the feeling. I felt my cheeks burn at the foggy memories of what had happened last night. I gently massaged my lower stomach. Even my entrance was sore and slightly swollen. My cheeks burned at the sensation. I'd only had one serious boyfriend before this in the old world and even he hadn't left me feeling this way when he was done with me.
I heard footsteps from outside the room. I guess after last night's events I had fallen asleep in the crib that was made for me.
The mattress crinkled, making me realize that there was a plastic protective coating under the fitted sheet in case of an accident. There was no way Negan actually expected me to use my diapers, let alone potentially wet the bed.
The door opened, and there strode in the man of the hour.
"Good morning Starshine!" Negan announced after he made eye contact with me through the crib bars. He placed down a silver food tray on his desk.
I noticed there was a bowl sitting on it with something steaming. The clouds merging into the air and the scent reached my nose. Oatmeal! I hadn't had proper oatmeal in so long! And it didn't smell like normal oatmeal either! It smelled of brown sugar and fruits, and-
"Are you gonna be a good girl and let me feed you or are you gonna go hungry?" Negan spoke his voice wavered in warning.
I took a moment to admire the food from afar before slowing nodding my head. His smile spread as he made his way over to lower the bars.
"C'mere." He motioned with his hands, his arms out to me.
My breathing caught in my throat. I didn't want his eyes to shift and get dark like they did when he killed someone in the commons, or how they did last night when he claimed me.
I crawled into his arms. His callused hands scratched gently at the back of my thighs as he secured his grasp on me. He took me over to his desk where he pulled out his desk chair and sat me properly across his lap, my legs dangling off the side.
"Can't I have my own seat?" I squeaked.
He simply laughed before securing his one arm to hold me and using his free hand to spoon up some oatmeal and a small diced cube of strawberry. My mouth immediately watered.
He guided the food into my mouth like an airplane taking a landing. I wasn't going to lie, I wasn't embarrassed at all. Truthfully I didn't give a shit. It wasn't everyday I got to eat fresh produce. Scratch that, I hadn't eaten fresh fruit or vegetables that weren't preserved in a can in months.
"You're such a good girl! You're almost done all your food." Negan cooed, before spooning the last bit of oatmeal onto the spoon.
Once finished, Negan took to wiping off my face with a napkin. I pulled away from his grasp as he growled.
"Don't pull away, Starshine. Unless you want me to punish you. Is that what you want?" Negan asked.
Although I knew his question was rhetorical I couldn't help wanting to retort something back in response. If we were in the old world maybe I would, but there was something so helpless and all-consuming about knowing how much power he held over me. He literally saved my life. Or his henchmen did. Either way I probably would have died in those woods that night. I still couldn't bring myself to be fully thankful.
This man's eyes I was currently staring into that twinkled down toward me like shooting stars were that of a killer. He was more than capable, yet finally having a Daddy made me so conflicted. I was getting what I wanted but at what cost?
This was my enemy, my-
"Alright little girl it's time to brush your teeth and get ready for the day." Negan began as he scooped me up in his arms and continued to haul me off toward the bathroom. The bathroom that I already knew held a changing table.
Dread burrowed itself in the pit of my stomach.
Negan placed me on the bathroom counter as he pulled out a My Little Pony toothbrush. It was the kind that sang its theme song out loud if you clicked the button.
Negan squirted some strawberry flavored toothpaste on it before coming at me with the damned thing.
"No! No! I've got it!" I said holding out my hands in an attempt to block him from proceeding closer.
"Silly girl, you're too little to brush your own teeth. You could hurt yourself or cause a mess. That's why Daddy has to do it for you." Negan spoke matter-of-factly.
"No, I promise I can do it Negan!" I just barely whined aloud.
Negan raised a brow before his lips set in a tight line.
"You do not call me Negan, little girl. Do you need a punishment today you're already on strike two." He said.
I sucked in a tight breath trying to hold my pride with it.
"Please...Daddy. Can I brush my own teeth?" I let out in the politest tone I could. It took everything in me to not die inside while doing so.
Negan's expression brightened. He held out the toothbrush to me.
"Just don't make a mess, okay? If you make a mess you can never brush your own teeth without needing my help." He warned before he grabbed his own toothbrush and slathered a huge clump of spearmint toothpaste onto it.
I nodded my head enthusiastically as I began brushing my teeth. I'd done this since I was three years old. There's no way I couldn't win this argument. As I kept brushing my teeth, Negan seemed to hoard the sink while brushing his own.
I held off as I waited for him to finish. He kept his place however. He brushed every tooth as if someone were coming to inspect them later for cleanliness. I huffed while continuing to brush my own. Once I was finished I stood there with my toothbrush in between my teeth because I didn't want to risk taking it out and the toothbrush dripping onto the floor.
Negan's attention was fully on the mirror in front of him. It was like he knew I was watching him and waiting for him to finish. He kept going as if he had all day. I wanted to yell at him but I was muted by the toothbrush and the lack of space in my mouth from the toothpaste and saliva that was quickly beginning to build up.
I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes as I held back the urge to shove Negan out of the way.
I held back my head as to not drip down my chin. I caught sight of Negan taking his toothbrush out of his mouth before spitting.
"Darlin', what are you doing you gotta keep your head down or you'll choke." Negan reprimanded gingerly, before taking a step closer to me and placing a hand on the back of my head to guide it straight again.
I gagged as he tilted my head up right and out shot my toothpaste coated saliva. It hit the mirror and the remainder slid down my chin.
My own horrified reaction stared back at me. I could have sworn I saw a flicker of amusement cross his eyes, but his mouth never wavered.
"Aw, baby, see I knew this would happen." Negan tsked before turning to grab a hand towel.
My eyes burned as my lower lip trembled. Without thinking I let go of my toothbrush as it toppled to the floor. Negan turned back swiftly at the noise. His expression turned solemn before his gaze met my face.
He won.
Molly 0. Negan 1.
More like Negan 2, 3, ... maybe even 4 at this point.
I hate him.
I really do. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him-
A choked sob left my lips before I fully caved. The tears rained down my cheeks as I held my face in my hands. I fell to my knees on the tiled floor.
"Shhh, shhhh, shhh." Negan cooed as he gently pried my hands away from my face.
I just kept bawling. Why couldn't I do one thing right? One easy, basic thing?
Negan continued to shush me as he gently wiped my face off with a warm wet towel. He gently took my hands as he wiped those off too. I let him as I just sat there pathetically.
"Oh, darlin', you even got it on your shirt now I'm gonna have to change you again."
At this I cried even harder. Negan picked up my shaking frame as he used his hands to hold me up by my butt.
He carried me out of the bathroom and back towards his mini nursery that he had gotten some of his closest men to create in his bedroom. There a new changing table lay that Simon had installed last night while I was in my drug-induced haze.
I whined and cried as I shoved against him uselessly. He continued to shush me as he placed me on the changing table and laid me down. He made quick work of tying up my hands and feet with thick pink straps that were attached to the sides of the table. This caused me to sob even harder.
Negan brushed a hand through my hair before kissing my forehead tenderly. He pulled away as he went to a drawer and pulled out a onesie that buttoned at the crotch. At this I began to pull at the straps violently. Negan frowned at this before going over to his desk and fished around in his upper drawer. When he pulled out the small vial and syringe I began to scream. Hot tears trickled down my face as I flailed on the counter. I yanked at the thick pink straps.
"FIRST, we are NOT going to be using our outdoor voices in here. This is the only time I'm going to remind you of this because I consider myself a generous Daddy." Negan announced firmly.
I wanted to tell him to stop, to leave me alone, but the words just wouldn't come. Negan flicked the syringe twice before he was satisfied and came over to me. He held my forearm still as he went to prick me with the needle. I let out an embarrassing wail as I felt the warmth of the medicine slowing work its course through my veins. His eyes softened.
"Shhh, baby girl. Let the waves take you."
His voice morphed into something so deep and dark that I couldn't decipher just how far I had fallen down the rabbit hole until I was just a nonverbal form of silly puddy laying in the bottom of the crib.
The one constant was that, I couldn't stop crying. My blubbering sobs leapt out of me.
"Shhh," Negan tried to coax me as he placed a pink pacifier in my mouth.
If I wasn't so under the influence I would have been surprised he had gathered so many little materials. I wondered briefly just how long he'd been searching for a little.
"Do you want your stuffed animal?" His husky voice asked.
It was then that I stopped fussing altogether. He seemed to notice this, as he pushed the pacifier I had been forcing from my lips inside willingly. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. His facial hair scratched at my skin and tickled a little.
I couldn't help my whine at the lose of contact. I didn't realize I was alone for awhile before a man came into my room to temporarily check on me before disappearing again. I fell asleep shortly afterward.
The feeling of a calloused hand on my shoulder awoke me later. I cried out when I awoke until I realized what was held out in front of me was my plushie that I had hidden in my cot when I used to live in the mess hall.
I hiccuped around the pacifier as I held out a hand and Negan placed the teddy in my arms. I couldn't see his face in the dark but I could tell by the smell of diesel on his leather jacket that it was him.
As I held my plushie close and laid cheek to cheek with it my sadness seemed to start to melt away. And so did my consciousness.