Chapter Text

Just a Bit of Fun

Evie Grador doesn’t remember her father all that well. He died when she was young, and even before that, he was never really around. He worked on one of the offshore oil rigs, which meant that he was only home every few months, usually for less than a week at a time. So Evie never really knew him.

Evie does remember from those days a man by the name of Lachlan Morris. He came around a lot, but never when her father was home, and Evie wasn’t supposed to talk about Lachlan. Lachlan was from down south, she knew. He lived in one of the nice houses in town with his wife and kids, a fact that Lachlan and Mom argued about constantly.

But Evie liked Lachlan. He was always nice to her — bringing her sweets, taking her for rides on his boat, even once giving her a beautiful porcelain doll, the sort that had to be specially ordered from the Capitol.

Evie still has that doll. It was her most prized possession for almost a decade.

Lachlan had been the one to convince Mom to enroll her in the Academy. He worked as a trainer there, a fact that Evie always thought was super cool.

Evie had gotten into a scuffle with one of the neighborhood kids for the third time that month. Mom had taken away Evie’s prized doll as punishment, which was really unfair because Evie had only punched the kid because he’d called her mom a whore. At six years old, Evie didn’t really know what that word meant, but she knew it was bad.

“It’s not fair! He deserved it!” Evie had complained to Lachlan, who was always a more sympathetic ear.

“I know, and I’m sure your mother appreciates you standing up for her, but you should use your words next time,” Lachlan said placatingly. Then he turned to Mom and said, “That was some right hook, though. You should really consider…”

“I told you. I’m not sending my daughter off to die,” Mom snapped.

“Oh, please,” Lachlan said, rolling his eyes. “Half the kids get cut within the first year. Evie’s not going to even sniff becoming a tribute. It would be fun for her. Give her something to do to keep her out of trouble.”

And so Mom had relented. A couple of weeks later, she laid out Evie’s best dress and brushed the tangles out of her hair before dropping her off at the Academy for the first time. It took almost two hours to walk there because it was clear on the other side of District Four. The south side. The nice side.

There were already a couple dozen or so kids her age there, and just looking around, Evie knew instantly that she didn’t belong. These kids all looked so… clean. None of them seemed to have dressed up for the occasion like she had, but even so, they all looked better than her somehow.

Evie wanted to scream that this had been a giant mistake and plead with Mom to take her back home to the north side, where she belonged, but when she turned around, Mom had already left.

“Hey, Evie. Doing alright?” she heard, and she saw Lachlan peering down at her. Evie nodded tentatively, and Lachlan smiled and said, “Come on. Let’s get you checked in.”

Evie didn’t talk to the other Academy kids much for the first few years. They weren’t mean to her or anything — these kids had much too good of manners for that — but Evie wasn’t really one of them, and she knew it.

Even so, Evie liked training. She liked the running, the swimming, the games they played where they would hide from each other in the woods. It was fun. And besides that, being a trainee made her feel special for reasons she couldn’t quite articulate. Evie felt accomplished every time training scores were posted, and she made the cut.

People liked and admired her for being a trainee. Men, women, and children from in town would come by the Academy to thank them all, to tell them what a great thing they were doing for District Four. They would bring small gifts for the trainees — toys, sweets, notebooks. Evie was something of a hero to the kids back home in her north side neighborhood, too.

And so Evie kept going, day after day. A year or so in, Lachlan’s wife found out about them, and Lachlan stopped coming around. But Evie stayed at the Academy nonetheless. As long as she scored well enough to stay, there was nothing he could do about it.

Admittedly, she was never spectacular. Evie has never been noted for her intelligence, and she struggled mightily with the strategy and survival skills sessions.

All the physical stuff she did fine with, though. Evie was a good fighter, particularly in hand-to-hand. She always thought that growing up on the north side actually gave her an advantage there. All those sheltered south side kids had no idea what it was to be in a real fight. So while Evie was never spectacular, she was always good enough.

Then Evie’s dad died. She was ten years old when the rig he was working on exploded, and mostly Evie just remembers feeling oddly numb about the whole thing. She knew she was supposed to feel sad about it, but honestly… Evie hardly knew the guy.

The money was a problem, though. Mom balked at the idea of getting a job, so they moved in with Evie’s Uncle Harlan while they lived off the compensation money they’d received.

“Girls like us are much too pretty for hard labor,” Mom would tell her. And soon enough, Mom had a new boyfriend from down south. Unfortunately, this one was just as married as the first one. “He’s going to leave his wife any day now,” Mom insisted.

Meanwhile, the money was quickly dwindling. Evie knew that if Mom didn’t get a job soon, she would have to quit the Academy and get a job herself. It was that or starve. Evie had begun sneaking extra breakfast portions from the Academy to bring home.

One day, Evie was walking home when…

“Hey, you dropped this.”

Evie spun around to see Finnick Odair looking at her. He was holding one of the muffins she had stolen earlier that morning.

“Thanks,” Evie said, completely mortified.

But Finnick just grinned. “No problem. Evie, right?”

“Yeah,” she answered, a little taken aback that Finnick knew her name. He was a year below her, and they had never spoken. She knew who he was, of course, because everyone knew who Finnick was.

Finnick stood out, but not in the way Evie stood out. He stood out for all the right reasons. Finnick was always the best at everything. Even though he had started a year after Evie, Finnick was ahead of her by a mile in just about every score category. You always heard the trainers talking about him like, “Got ourselves a victor with that one,” or, “Galen sure did a good job with him.” Everyone liked Finnick, though Finnick mostly seemed to like a small dark-haired girl named Annie Cresta.

“I’m Finnick,” Finnick said, quite unnecessarily. Still grinning, he asked, “Are you going to the picnic tomorrow?”

The Academy picnic was an annual event that happened at the end of June, after assessments had been completed. There, the trainers would officially announce this year’s tributes and also hand out awards to kids who had performed exceptionally well in training over the past year. Kids like Finnick. Not like Evie.

Evie shook her head. “I don’t think I won anything.”

“Well, that doesn’t matter. You should come anyway,” said Finnick. “It’s going to be fun. We all play games and stuff.”

So Evie had asked Mom if they could go to the picnic. To her surprise, Mom had agreed enthusiastically. They’d packed a few sandwiches that were just bread and a bit of cheese, and even Uncle Harlan had come along.

During the awards ceremony, Finnick received just about every award there was. Over and over again, he jumped up from his picnic blanket and bounded up to the podium, a wide grin on his face as he accepted each award. Then he would return, practically skipping, back to his spot next to Annie.

After the third or fourth time this happened, Evie heard Mom mutter under her breath, “Little shit thinks he’s all that, doesn’t he?”

“He’s nice,” Evie had insisted, suddenly feeling very defensive of the boy who hadn’t ratted her out for stealing a muffin.

“Hmmph,” Mom said, crossing her arms. “That’s what they all want you to think.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Uncle Harlan said in an undertone. “She still hasn’t gotten over Galen Odair dumping her for a town girl over a decade ago.”

“Let the bitch have him. I don’t care,” Mom snapped — but the glare she shot in the direction of the Odairs said otherwise.

Evie wasn’t surprised. Even at ten, she understood how these things worked. Nice career boys from down south didn’t marry girls like Lucy Grador. Mom might be pretty — beautiful even — but a girl from the north side didn’t marry someone like Galen Odair. A girl like that was only good for a bit of fun.

Mom was in a foul mood after that, even though — to Evie’s great surprise — she actually won an award. She doesn’t remember what it was exactly — probably something that was more a participation trophy than anything else — but it felt good to hear her name called nonetheless. Evie was thinking she might even go ask if she could join in a game of tag some of the kids from her cohort had started, but Mom had other ideas.

“Let’s get out of here!” Mom snapped, steering Evie sharply away from the throng of people.

“Lucy, is that you?” a voice called out.

Evie turned to look and saw with a start that it was Mrs. Odair who had spoken. Finnick was at her side, wearing his signature smile. “Good job, Evie,” he said, eying the ribbon in her hand.

“Thanks. You too.” Evie said, wondering what he’d done with his own much larger stack of ribbons.

She watched Mom anxiously, hoping she wouldn’t say anything too horrible, but Evie needn’t have worried because suddenly it was like a switch had flipped in her mother’s head. Mom’s lips parted in a smile that was every bit as wide as Finnick’s and exclaimed, “Katia! Oh my goodness — it’s been so long! How are you?”

“Oh, well, you know. I certainly can’t complain. How have you been?” Katia replied, her tone light. “Oh, and this must be your husband,” she added, eying Uncle Harlan.

Mom gave a small chuckle. “No, just my little brother, Harlan. My husband actually passed away a couple of months ago.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Mrs. Odair said, her eyes widening. “That’s awful. How are the two of you holding up?”

“It’s been hard,” Mom said, putting on a brave sort of expression. “We miss him terribly, and money has been tight. I’m just so worried, you know, after what happened to Edwin... I mean, I just think what if something happens to me out on one of those boats and I leave Evie all alone?” Mom shook her head as though the thought was just too much to even contemplate.

“Of course you are,” Mrs. Odair said earnestly. “Those big Capitol trawlers… I mean, they’re a nightmare. I can’t even imagine. I’ll talk to Galen — I’m sure we could find you something on one of our boats. Or I could use some help on the business side of things, too — you know, inventory, payroll, and all that.”

“Would you really?” Mom said, her eyes going wide in a look of what Evie thought might be genuine surprise.

“Of course!” Mrs. Odair said. “You’re an old friend, after all.” Then she looked at Evie. “Oh, and I’m taking Finnick and a few of the other kids sailing after this if Evie wants to join us.”

“You should come,” Finnick told her. “We’re going to go see dolphins.”

“Yes, definitely! That sounds so fun!” Evie exclaimed, then cringed. That sounded way too eager, but Finnick just smiled at her.

And so Evie went sailing with the Odairs that afternoon. Along with Finnick, there were a half dozen other academy kids there, Annie among them, naturally. They were all remarkably nice to her. It seemed that if Finnick thought she was okay, then the rest of them did too.

That was something of a turning point in Evie’s time at the Academy. After that, she still wasn’t exactly close with any of the Academy kids, but there was a level of casual camaraderie that hadn’t been there before. Evie no longer had to dread being picked last every time they were told to team up for a practice exercise. She still wasn’t really one of them — she didn’t live in the same neighborhood or go to the same school like the rest of them did — but she no longer felt so out of place. She might not be like them, but she still belonged.

In the year that followed, there were a few important developments. First, Evie grew boobs and started to notice boys in a new way. Second, she had her first boyfriend. He was just a boy from down the street — a boy Evie had known her whole life — but he had nice hair, and he said that he liked her, so Evie agreed to be his girlfriend. They had been boyfriend and girlfriend for two whole weeks when the next important development happened: Evie had her first kiss.

Unfortunately, Mom happened to be walking by at the time and saw the whole thing. She was perhaps more furious than Evie had ever seen her. Mom had dragged Evie all the way home before starting in on her.

“Are you an idiot!” Mom had screamed at her. “All those nice Academy boys, and you go for some trash down the street? Don’t be stupid, Evie. Don’t end up like me. You’re a pretty girl. All you gotta do is convince one of those south side boys to marry you, and you’ll be set for life.”

Evie had cried and told Mom that she was sorry and that it wouldn’t happen again.

She tried to take Mom’s advice to heart, but Evie couldn’t really figure out how to get any of the Academy boys to notice her. She couldn’t hang out on the beach or go down to the pier after training like the other kids all did because she had a two-hour walk each way. And while Evie had watched her Mom flirt enough to know what it looked like, she didn’t think it would work right if she tried it.

But then the miracle of all miracles happened: Mom had a new boyfriend in town. And this one was actually single!

Rohan was old and ugly, but that wasn’t the point. He was a peacekeeper — and a captain at that! He proposed to Mom after only a few weeks of dating, and they moved into his house on the south side. Mom was finally able to quit her job with the Odairs, and Evie was finally actually a town kid!

It was everything Evie had ever dreamed of. She transferred to the school that all the Academy kids went to, and it was just a short twenty-minute walk to training now. Rohan even bought her new clothes so that she finally looked like one of them. It all felt too good to be true.

Of course, it sort of was. Because less than two years later, Evie’s little brother Marvin was born.

Evie loved her little brother, of course, but she also recognized the threat Marvin presented to her. After all, he was Rohan’s actual child. It would be Marvin who inherited Rohan’s house, his money, everything. Not Evie.

And so it was back to square one. If Evie wanted to stay on the south side permanently, then she needed to find a south side boy to marry her. Fortunately, Evie was in the right place to do that now.

Evie was a teenager by then, and sometime in the past couple of years, childish cuteness had started to give way to womanly beauty. The boys noticed her now, and Evie felt more confident flirting with them. She would brush up against them and hold hands with them on the beach, go on dates down to the pier, hide away in the dunes, and kiss them. They liked her. This was going to work. She only had to convince one of them to marry her, and then she would be set for life.

So naturally, the first time one of those boys slipped a hand up her skirt, Evie let him. She let him do whatever he wanted. She was fifteen. He was a few years older than that. He was one of the full-time trainees — that highest echelon of Academy kids, one that Evie would almost certainly never attain.

He dumped her just three weeks later. Even so, Evie had successfully inserted herself into a new and highly exclusive social circle. The full-time kids liked her. They let her sit with them, invited her to parties, brought her out to the spot under the old bridge where they went to drink beers. Evie liked hanging out with them. It made her feel very grown-up.

“Hey E, you going to the bonfire tonight?” one of them — a boy with very bright red hair — asked her one Friday afternoon. She wasn’t sure what his actual name was because all the other kids always just called him Red.

“You bet, Red,” she answered with a grin.

That night, Evie had carefully picked out her clothes to convey the right balance of fun but not too slutty and then set out for the secluded corner of the beach that the peacekeeper patrols always skipped over.

The party was already in full swing by the time she arrived. Kids were milling about, sipping drinks, laughing, and talking loudly. Evie took a deep breath and prepared herself to enter the fray.

“Hey, Evie.”

Evie turned to see Finnick looking at her. He wore an easy grin as he casually took a sip of the beer in his hand, and Evie thought he looked remarkably at ease for a boy at a party with kids several years his senior.

Evie was a little surprised to see him here. Since he was such a prodigy, Finnick had already been given one of the coveted full-time spots at the Academy, but he didn’t usually hang out with the other full-time kids. They were all at least a couple of years older than him.

“Hi Finnick,” Evie said, smiling sweetly.

Finnick grinned broadly, his green eyes twinkling in the firelight, and Evie felt her heart melt just a little.

“E!” someone called out, and Red appeared, draping an arm lazily over her shoulder. “Hey, Odair,” he said. “Sure you should be drinking that? Aren’t you like ten?”

“Ten and a half!” Finnick declared in mock indignation, and several people nearby snickered.

“Still knocked you on your ass last week, Red,” someone called out. This was greeted with more laughter.

“Oh, shut up,” Red said. Then, in an undertone, “Come on, E.”

Red steered her into a circle of kids and started talking loudly to them. No one really paid Evie much mind. Red’s hand slipped down to her waist, pulling her against him. He was sweaty, and Evie could smell the beer on his breath.

“I’m going to go get a drink,” she said, as soon as she found a long enough break in the conversation to get a word in. She slipped out of Red’s grasp and scampered away.

She found a case of warm beer and cracked one open. When she stood up, she saw Finnick’s bright green eyes peering at her.

“Do you want to swim out to the sandbar?” he asked. “I’m bored.”

Evie giggled. “It’s dark,” she said.

Finnick shrugged. “Full moon,” he said, gesturing up at the sky. “And besides, we’re careers. Chances are we won’t live that much longer anyway.”

Evie laughed at the morbid joke that she knew was really only half a joke. It was, perhaps, easier for Evie to laugh at these sorts of things, knowing as she did that she wasn’t good enough to ever actually be sent into the arena. Briefly, she wondered how Finnick could joke around so easily about that stuff. Finnick, unlike Evie, was practically guaranteed to be chosen as a tribute at some point.

But then again, Evie knew that Finnick was going to win. Everyone said so. Finnick was always the best at everything he did. The Games would be no different.

Finnick raised an eyebrow at her. “So?” He asked with an adorable sideways smirk.

Evie couldn’t deny him anything. “Race you out there?”

Finnick grinned. “You’re on.”

Naturally, Finnick won. Of course he did. He helped her out of the water, then sat back, one arm out behind him, staring up at the stars.

Evie sat down next to him, unsure what to say. She didn’t want to say something stupid and mess this up. But she had to say something. Finnick would think she was weird if she just sat there silently. She wished she could think of something clever, something interesting to say. Evie felt painfully aware of the loud sound of her breathing.

“Did you really knock Red on his ass last week?” Evie blurted out, then immediately cringed. That sounded much too surprised. He was going to think it was an insult. It really wasn’t. Red had about eighty pounds on Finnick, so no one would reasonably expect Finnick to beat him hand-to-hand. But still…

Finnick just laughed, though. “Yeah,” he said. “Not that hard, to tell you the truth. Don’t tell him, but he has this thing he does with his eyes — like a little twitch — so you can always tell what side he’s gonna go for.”

“Oh,” Evie said, impressed. Then, she grinned. “So do I have any tells?”

“Well, I can’t give up all my secrets!” Finnick exclaimed. Evie laughed, and their eyes met.

“No, you don’t, actually,” Finnick said. “You’re solid.” He smirked and then added, “I mean, like... for a girl.”

“Hey!” Evie exclaimed, hitting him playfully. Finnick laughed, and the sound was like music to her ears.

“So is Red, like, your boyfriend?” Finnick asked, peering at her, and Evie’s heart skipped a beat.

“No,” she answered, trying to sound casual. “No, we were just hanging out.”

“Oh,” Finnick said. A beat, then, “That’s good.”

Evie’s heart began to beat faster in her chest. Finnick smiled and reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together. Evie stared at him in wonder.

Surely this couldn’t really be happening. Things like this didn’t happen to girls like her. This was Finnick. Perfect, sweet, beautiful Finnick. The boy every girl wanted. He couldn’t possibly like her. Evie might have the right clothes now, but deep down she knew she wasn’t the sort of girl a boy like Finnick would ever go for. She was like her mother — just a north side slut playing dress up.

Finnick leaned in, and their lips met, and it was like fireworks went off in her chest. For that one moment, everything was right in the world. For that one moment, Evie felt like she was special.

She was deluding herself, of course. It was just a kiss.

Evie knew that Finnick kissed lots of girls. She knew that it meant nothing and that she shouldn’t get her hopes up. Boys like him didn’t choose girls like her.

Even so, it was easily the best kiss of her life up to that point.

Evie went home that night, feeling practically giddy. Finnick had kissed her! Finnick, the perfect golden boy, the prodigy. The boy who had invited her to the picnic and let her come along and see dolphins all those years ago.

Evie had to remind herself that it meant nothing. She was nothing to him other than a bit of fun. She went to school and then to training the following day, resigned to the fact that Finnick probably wouldn’t even talk to her.

But then he did! Even better — he asked if she wanted to go to the Artisan Fair with him that weekend!

Evie was over the moon. Finnick, who could have any girl he wanted, wanted to go to the Artisan Fair with her! She was beyond ecstatic. She spent hours trying to decide what to wear, eventually landing on a soft yellow dress. It was short, but not too short. Just the sort of thing a town girl would wear.

When Finnick saw her, he told her that she looked really pretty, and Evie thought that she was living in a dream. They walked around to all the stalls holding hands, sipping warm cider, and sneaking kisses.

When Evie took a liking to the beautiful seaglass jewelry at one of the stalls, Finnick told her to choose whichever one she liked. Evie chose a necklace with a simple dolphin pendant. She very much doubted that Finnick remembered the significance, but she did, and she loved that necklace. The small dolphin pendant was the thing to finally supplant that porcelain doll as Evie’s most prized possession.

It was such a perfect, unbelievably precious gift, and Evie wanted to give him something in return. And so that night she brought him to a hidden spot beneath the pier — a place another boy had shown her.

It was magical. Finnick was sweet and eager and so completely inexperienced. Evie felt so unbelievably lucky that she got to be the one to show him this, the one to see that wide-eyed look of wonder in his eyes. Maybe boys like Finnick didn’t marry girls like Evie, but she still got to have something that no one else would ever get.

For the first time in her life, Evie felt like someone who really mattered. Girls whom Evie had hardly ever spoken to before now made a point of sitting next to her at school. They demanded she tell them everything about her date with Finnick, and Evie happily complied.

“And then he took me to the spot under the pier. It was so romantic!” Evie finished to a chorus of delighted squeals.

“Is he a good kisser?” asked Ellen, a girl from her cohort at the Academy who had recently become Evie’s best friend.

“So good,” Evie told them. “Like, it was amazing. He knows how to really kiss, you know?”

The girls all giggled with delight. Everyone wanted to hear what Evie had to say. For a second, even Annie glanced up from the notebook she was doodling in.

Evie spent as much time as she possibly could with Finnick. That was more limited than she would have liked because Finnick, as a full-time trainee, didn’t go to school anymore, nor did their schedules at the Academy often line up. Nonetheless, they saw each other every few days at least. Finnick was always so sweet — holding her hand, complimenting her outfits, buying her small gifts. They would go for boat rides, walk around town, or spend hours hiding out underneath the pier. It was perfect.

There was only one very tiny thing bothering her, and really, it was insignificant. But still… Evie couldn’t help but notice that Finnick had never once referred to her as his girlfriend, even though it had been a whole month since their date at the Artisan Fair.

Evie knew she was probably reading too much into it. It wasn’t like Finnick was embarrassed to be seen with her or anything. Probably, he just hadn’t thought about it. It wasn’t like he was seeing other girls or anything. Evie was pretty sure he wasn’t, anyway.

But then Evie saw her.

Evie was just hanging out down by the marina with Ellen and Molly when a boat pulled up to the dock. A familiar boat. Finnick jumped out, and Evie watched in horror as he reached out a hand to help her up.

Annie. Annie Cresta.

Evie felt tears pull at the corners of her eyes, and she looked away so that Ellen and Molly wouldn’t see. She felt like such an idiot. Of course, she wasn’t Finnick’s girlfriend. Finnick would never choose her. Not really. Because boys like Finnick Odair don't marry girls like Evie Grador. They marry girls like Annie Cresta. Girls like Evie are only good for a bit of fun.

The thing that made it so much worse was that Evie actually liked Annie. Annie was in Evie’s survival skills group, and even though Annie was two years younger, she was a whole lot better at it. Usually, this would bother Evie, but it never had because Annie was just so nice. She always helped Evie and never made fun of her when she asked dumb questions.

Evie didn’t hate Annie. She hated the fact that Annie was exactly the sort of girl that Finnick should be with.

It was hopeless, but Evie wasn’t going down without a fight. Sure, Annie was better, richer, smarter, maybe prettier even… but Evie knew a few things. Things a good girl like Annie certainly didn’t.

So when Evie spotted Finnick leaving training one day and saw Annie looking in his direction, she decided it was time to make a point. She marched straight up to him and kissed him long and deep, in full view of everyone. To Evie’s immense satisfaction, Annie left without another word.

“Meet me down by the pier tonight?” Evie asked, practically giddy with relief.

“I can’t tonight. Have other plans.”

And just like, it all came rushing back. Evie felt as though someone had punched her in the gut. He was blowing her off for Annie! And he wasn’t even bothering to hide it.

Finnick chuckled, though Evie had no idea what was funny about the situation. “Tomorrow?” he asked.

“Tomorrow,” Evie agreed, only mildly reassured.

The following day was the last day of training before the Reaping, so it was meant to be something of a celebration. Everyone trained together — just a few light exercises and a chance to offer praise and well-wishes to that year’s tributes. Evie was excited because it meant that she could actually train with Finnick for once.

Only, he wasn’t there. Evie searched the crowd frantically for him, but Finnick was nowhere to be found. Where could he possibly be?

It was a few minutes before Evie came to the horrifying realization that Annie was also missing.

Evie wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She couldn’t focus on training at all. Unwanted images kept running through her mind — Finnick and Annie on the boat, Finnick and Annie walking through town holding hands, Finnick and Annie underneath the pier.

Evie almost didn’t even go to meet Finnick that night. She was almost certain he wouldn’t show up. But she went anyway, just in case.

Evie felt stupider and stupider with every minute that ticked by, with every inch the sun moved toward the horizon. He was late. He wasn’t coming.

But then, just when she was about to give up and leave, she saw him. Evie was so relieved she could hardly breathe.

“I didn’t know if you were coming,” she said, trying not to sound too accusatory. “You weren’t at the Academy today.”

And neither was Annie.

She expected Finnick to smile or laugh, maybe to tease her and ask if she’d missed him. He did none of those things.

“My mom is sick. I stayed with her,” he said, simple and matter-of-fact.

“Oh,” Evie said, now feeling stupid for entirely different reasons. That explained it, and it explained why he was late, too. He had skipped training to stay by his sick mother’s side, but still came to see her. The idea made Evie feel warm inside. When she kissed him, Evie thought that she’d never loved Finnick more than she did right then.

That night, there was a franticness, almost a desperation, to the way he touched her, which Evie had never seen before. Evie loved it. She wanted to be everything he wanted.

Lying there in Finnick’s arms that night, Evie felt like the luckiest girl in the world. For once, everything was perfect. She didn’t know how she’d gotten so lucky.

And then, completely out of nowhere…

“I’m going to volunteer tomorrow.”

Evie stared at him, sure she must have misheard. “You mean like… for the Hunger Games?”

That didn’t make any sense. You didn’t just volunteer for the Games; you had to be chosen. And besides, Finnick was only fourteen. He couldn’t go to the Hunger Games. No one would ever allow it.

“My Mom needs medicine from the Capitol. She’ll die if she doesn’t get it. I have to try.”

And just like that, Evie’s entire world shattered. Of course, Finnick would volunteer for the Games to save his mother. Kind, sweet, too good for this world, Finnick.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he was the one good thing Evie had ever gotten, and now he was being taken away from her like this. It wasn’t fair that he was probably going to die because fourteen-year-olds don’t win the Hunger Games. It wasn’t fair that even if he didn’t die, they still wouldn’t be together anymore because fourteen-year-olds who win the Hunger Games certainly don’t choose girls from the north side. None of it was fair.

Evie could think of no more eloquent words to describe the situation than, “Well, that sucks.”

Finnick laughed. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, it does.”

There was so much Evie wanted to say to him right then. She wanted to tell him that he had changed her life. She wanted to say that he was the first person to ever make her feel like she was worth something. She wanted to say that she had never stopped thinking about him, not since that first day when he had remembered her name. She wanted to tell him that she loved him and beg him not to go.

But Evie wasn’t delusional. She knew he didn’t feel the same way about her. So instead, she settled for, “I’m going to miss you.”

“Well, I might win,” Finnick said, a touch of irritation to his voice, and Evie realized with horror that he thought she was writing him off as dead.

She wasn’t. Of course, she wasn’t. Finnick always won everything he ever did.

“You probably will,” she told him, feeling right then that it was definitely the truth.

But then what? Evie had to know. In that moment, Evie decided she would rather be rejected once and for all than let him leave without ever knowing.

Trying her best to keep her voice light, Evie said, “But then you’ll have all those fancy Capitol girls, and you’ll forget all about your girlfriend back home.” She grimaced at the thought.

Finnick smiled at Evie, not challenging her use of the word girlfriend, and Evie felt her heart soar. Then he said one of the very best things anyone has ever said to her.

“Honestly, I think I’d be kind of freaked out by all the weird green skin and cat whiskers and whatnot.”

Evie laughed and kissed him. Finnick didn’t want them. He wanted her. Evie. His girlfriend. She felt amazing whenever she thought about that word.

That feeling lasted all of a week.

She was watching the tribute interviews at Ellen’s house, and Finnick was doing such an amazing job. He had done everything flawlessly so far; he had looked amazing in his costume on opening night, gotten one of the best training scores, and was clearly everyone’s favorite. Finnick was going to win! Evie just knew it.

Finnick’s interview was nearly over now, and he had done spectacularly well. The audience loved him. He was funny, charming, perfect — Evie was so proud of him.

“Well, I think I just have one more question for you, Finnick, and it’s a very important one,” said Caesar Flickerman.

“Okay, I’m ready for it,” Finnick said with an adorably serious expression.

“I think what a lot of the ladies out there really want to know is, do you have a girlfriend?”

Evie felt a happy sort of flutter in her chest. Here it was. Finnick was going to tell the whole country that she was his girlfriend. Maybe he would tell her that he loved her like the tributes sometimes did. Maybe he would…

“I do not.”

Evie gaped at the TV in stunned disbelief. Tears blurred her vision, and everything seemed to disappear. She couldn’t even hear what Finnick was saying anymore. She didn’t want to hear.

“Oh, Evie…” Ellen was there, and she wrapped Evie in a hug. “You know, they probably just told him to say that, right? It’s a strategy so that they’ll sponsor him.”

A strategy. That made sense. Evie had always just been too stupid to understand Hunger Games strategy. But Ellen was right. Ellen was smarter than she was. She should listen to Ellen.

Still, those three words replayed over and over in her head.

I do not. I do not. I do not.

They hurt far more than Evie had ever known three words could hurt.

Finnick had sponsors, though. He had so many sponsors. Record-breaking, the commentators kept saying. He was doing so well. Soon, it was down to the final eight, and the Capitol camera crews arrived.

Evie stood in the long line of people waiting to be interviewed, wondering what she was supposed to say. She couldn’t say that she was Finnick’s girlfriend. Not when he had denied having one.

The Capitol crews kept asking all the girls whether they thought Finnick was cute, and Evie felt like punching them every time they responded in the affirmative. Didn’t they know that he was hers?

No, they didn’t because Finnick’s strategy was for them not to know. Right.

After much consideration, Evie decided to talk about the day she had gone to see the dolphins with Finnick. But she didn’t do a very good job of explaining it, and she thought her interview was rather unremarkable.

Apparently, the Capitol people agreed because it was never even aired. But you know whose interview was?

Annie Cresta.

Annie fucking Cresta.

Over and over and over again.

Annie’s interview had taken place at home in her backyard, so apparently she hadn’t been required to wait in the line. It would have been bad enough if Annie had just been another one of the girls raving about how attractive Finnick was, but no. That’s not what Annie did. She did something so much worse.

She cried.

Annie cried real, genuine, heartfelt tears for Evie’s boyfriend.

It was so sweet, so adorable, so touching. The Capitol loved it. They loved it so much that they bought Finnick a trident.

Evie hated it. She wanted to throw something at the TV every time they replayed that interview. That should have been her there crying for Finnick.

And then it got worse. Because apparently, even in the arena, there were still girls Finnick liked better than Evie. Even in the arena, there were town girls who were older and smarter and prettier than Evie to make out with Finnick.

“I’m pretty sure they’re just doing it to entertain the sponsors, E,” Ellen told her. “You saw how right before they were talking about not getting their evening gift.”

Ellen had this big, convoluted theory about how Mags Flanagan was somehow trying to send messages with the gifts she sent to Finnick each night. Evie wasn’t sure she believed it.

When the trumpets sounded, and Finnick was lifted out of that arena, the first thing Evie felt was relief. The second was pain.

He wouldn’t choose her. And Evie really couldn’t blame him. If the past few weeks had made one thing clear, it was that Finnick could have literally any girl he wanted. No one in their right mind would choose Evie.

The day Finnick came home, Evie went to the train station with Ellen and Molly to greet him. They got there hours ahead of time to be first in line.

They were still only on the third row. The first two rows consisted of people the Capitol crews had deemed important.

Naturally, Annie was front and center, right next to Finnick’s grandmother. When Finnick got off the train, he hugged her third, right after his mother and father. He didn’t even look in Evie’s direction before getting in a car that would take him to his new house in the Victors’ Village.

Evie couldn’t even find an opportunity to talk to Finnick. The peacekeepers weren’t letting anyone enter the Victors’ Village, and whenever he wasn’t at his new house, Finnick was surrounded by camera crews and Capitol handlers who told him what to do, where to go, and who to talk to. Evie watched him as closely as she was allowed, but she couldn’t ever find a chance to talk to him alone. Finally, after nearly a week, Evie saw him give a camera crew the slip.

She found him in their spot beneath the pier. He was reclining against a rock, his eyes closed. Had he been waiting here for her? The idea made her feel warm inside. It’s hard to believe, but why else would he have come here?

“Hey Finn,” Evie said. She had noticed that his family and Annie all called him Finn during their interviews, so it made sense that she should do the same.

Finnick opened his eyes but didn’t say anything.

“I missed you,” Evie added as she sat down next to him.

“I missed you, too.”

For a moment, Evie frowned. The words were right, but the tone was all wrong. He didn’t sound like Finnick. The words just sounded tired and something else that Evie couldn’t identify.

But then Evie reminded herself that he had just spent weeks in the arena. Of course, he was tired. Of course, he was different than before. All that mattered was whether he still liked her.

“So?” Evie asked, fluttering her eyelashes and biting her lower lip in the way he always liked.

“So what?” he asked in that same tired voice. He wasn’t even looking at her. Not really. Evie would have to be a lot more obvious.

“So are you just going to sit there, or are you going to kiss me?”

And then — miracle of all miracles — he did! Beautiful, perfect Finnick — youngest person ever to win the Hunger Games, victor Finnick — he still wanted to kiss her! Evie couldn’t believe it!

There was a loud boom, which startled Evie. Finnick jumped up. Then Evie saw the streaks of red, blue, and gold in the sky.

“Ooh, the fireworks show is starting!” Evie said. This was perfect. They could watch the show together.

Finnick sat down, and Evie rested her head against his shoulder. She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d seen fireworks. Probably, she hadn’t since the last time District Four won the Games. They were really pretty.

The moment would have been absolutely perfect, except Finnick kept flinching at the noise. Evie hated that he wasn’t enjoying this. It was all for him after all.

“You’re too tense,” she whispered. She leaned in to kiss him and trailed her hand slowly up his leg the way that always drove him crazy.

Another firework went off, and Finnick flinched. Then suddenly, without any warning, he shoved her off of him so hard that it caused Evie to bang her head on one of the rocks behind her.

For a second, her vision went dark, and there was a slight ringing in her ears. When her eyes started working again, she saw an expression of unmistakable disgust and loathing on Finnick’s face. It was that look more so than the pain that caused the tears that slid down her cheeks.

“Oww! What the hell, Finnick?” Evie shouted.

She couldn’t believe it. Evie always knew she wasn’t the sort of girl Finnick would want to be with long term. She always knew he would probably wake up one day and realize she wasn’t good enough for him.

But she never thought he was the sort of guy who would actually hurt her. Finnick was better than that. Or she thought he was anyway.

“Fuck! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!” said Finnick.

Evie scoffed. “You didn’t mean to?” she repeated. What a load of bullshit. Couldn’t he at least just tell her the truth? Didn’t she deserve that much at least?

”I didn’t mean to… I didn’t think… I’m really sorry. I just uh… I don’t want to do that.”

And there it was. He didn’t want her. Evie was furious with herself for ever having believed otherwise. And she was furious with him for kissing her in the first place. How dare he give her hope just to rip it away five minutes later? It wasn’t fair. It was practically cruel. And in that moment, Evie hated him.

“Well, you could just tell me that!” she snapped. “If you don’t want to be together anymore, you could just fucking say so!”

”I didn’t… That’s not…” Finnick sputtered lamely. Then, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

It was the worst apology Evie had ever heard in her life.

“Figures,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Well, congratulations, I guess.” And with that, she walked away.

Evie wished that Finnick had never bothered to remember her name. She wished he had never invited her to that picnic or on that boat ride. She wished he had never kissed her on that sandbar or bought her the stupid dolphin necklace. Most of all, she wished she had never fallen for it.

After all, boys like Finnick Odair don’t marry girls like Evie Grador. To him, she had always been just a bit of fun and nothing more.